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I'm on government assistance and I run

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out of money and I had to buy pampers

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for Jelani and I had $11 and 42 cents in

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the bank and I remember wrapping my son

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in the towel for two days I remember the

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second day like you said I had my son my

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hand on Jelani stomach and I said don't

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worry baby mommy will never be this

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broke or broken again and that day what

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shifted for me

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[Music]

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was I was willing and I don't know if

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this is gonna sound crazy I was willing

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to completely die to any form of me that

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I had been so that I can birth the woman

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that I was

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the reason why a lot of people won't

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become who they want is because they're

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too attached to who they've been and you

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hear it all the time when people say

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I've always been this way okay well if

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that's working for you keep doing that I

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knew it wasn't working for me I think I

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had hit my version of rock bottom so I

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was willing to let go of everything and

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everybody see another reason why people

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won't get there is because the doorway

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is for you to fit through you're trying

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to carry everybody else through because

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you're trying to be rescue 9-1-1 and you

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gotta rescue you first I am much more

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valuable to my family and to my

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community because Pilate was willing to

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let them go go through the door myself

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teach myself learn myself condition

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myself and then come back and get them

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so much more valuable to them now but I

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have to go through a window time of 10

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years of judgment you leaving us hanging

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out with white people all the time you

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go to these crazy countries we don't

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know what you I have to be willing to to

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allow my conviction to make me

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inconvenienced see we want to grow but

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we want to stay liked by everybody I was

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willing to be my own rescue at the risk

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of your approval most of us aren't like

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that

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Facebook this example we want to be

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liked well I woke up and I liked myself

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today so you'll like his extra my job is

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to like me first I was willing to say

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everyday Lisa you like you least are you

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proud of you

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nice are you playing Fallout everyday

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before I checked in with anybody else

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I was willing to inconvenience my entire

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life my entire life I was willing to

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disrupt my entire life to buy my future

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to buy my possibility to give my dream a

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chance see we're not supposed to tuck

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our dreams in on the on the pillow when

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we get up in the morning we're not

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supposed to leave them at home we're

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going but Phil somebody else's dream

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we're not supposed to do that that's not

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what we're wired to do that's not who we

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are your human spirit doesn't care about

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the economy the human spirit doesn't

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care that my son's father went to prison

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my the human spirit doesn't care what's

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happened to your family the human spirit

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doesn't care about the past that you may

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have been molested or your family may

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have been broken or you may have been

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betrayed or you may have a divorce your

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human sphere doesn't care about any of

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that your human spirit simply says

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what's our command for tomorrow what do

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you want to create it's not keeping

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score your brain is keeping score

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because your brain is designed to keep

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you safe your soul your intuition your

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human spirit is designed to make you

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soar

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when you get to the edge your brain will

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always tell you to step back it's always

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gonna tell you to step back because you

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can fall always it's gonna tell you step

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back because before you fail the last

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time you did this you saw someone else

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fails you could hurt you can be off work

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it's gonna tell you it's designed to

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keep you safe so you have to be willing

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to play between your brain and your soul

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and on some days you gotta just listen

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to your soul and you got to say on my

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leap I'm gonna get to the edge most

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people are at the edge and you're

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sending it to edge and you're watching

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everyone else fly

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let's pick my ride watch my crib all

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this stuff you know Washington's lies on

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Facebook you're at the edge watching

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someone else live wondering what it's

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gonna be like when you jump without ever

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jumping and I'm just here to tell you

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jump because only three things can

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happen you're either gonna jump and fly

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are you gonna jump in fall on something

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soft are you gonna fall down hard either

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way you're gonna get back up you already

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know you got what it takes to get back

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up

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you're not your greatest fears not the

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true the far the greatest fears that you

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will live a full life in never form but

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you never leave you're not afraid of

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dying

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who you really are before they really

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get your fingerprint before they really

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feel your breath before they really get

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your contribution if they really feel

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you that's what you don't want to happen

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you don't want to leave this place

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without us knowing you were here all I'm

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doing is giving mice my dream a chance

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and I'm not extraordinary you don't get

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off the hook you don't get to be like

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I'm an ordinary one who chooses every

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day to make one more extraordinary

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decision everything that I need to get

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back up I have in me if I don't have

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what I need I can go get it once I

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figured that out the world was my like

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playground like just the questions just

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where do I go get it

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well I don't know about that would I go

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get it and and I don't come from a

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learning background where I was a great

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student I wasn't you know my highest

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grade in school was a C+ and when I got

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a C+ I did the happy dance and and so I

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didn't have a background where studying

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was natural for me but when I realized

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that if I go study something and I learn

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it I own it it's mine now man it was

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crazy cuz all through school I struggled

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I the last time I took an English class

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my English teacher told me I was the

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weakest writer she ever met in her

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entire life

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lovely yeah lovely and the same year I

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took a speech class and my speech

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teacher he said quote unquote miss

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Nichols I recommend you never speak in

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public that you get a desk job and so I

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yeah it just is just you know it was it

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was demotivated people sad people hurt

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people hurt sad people make other people

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sad bottom line don't take it personal

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her people hurt see most people want the

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convenience of transformation without

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the inconvenience a retired US required

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for transformation so my grandmother

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says and I love to repeat this your

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conviction which you're passionate about

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your conviction and your convenience

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don't live on the same block

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they ain't even in the same zip code so

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if you want to have a conviction for

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something you have to sign up sign up to

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the inconvenience we're trying to find

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convictions and passion and breakthrough

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on the inside of our box well when you

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realize that the Box doesn't even exist

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like someone made up oh you're playing

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outside the box so we all bought into

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there's a box well I don't live it I

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don't even own a box

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I don't even only want to get in your

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box you better come out here go ahead

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get in there and so when you start

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thinking like that time all of a sudden

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everything is possible so I you know

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people I disrupt people when I say you

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want to make me extraordinary because it

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lets you off the hook what if the guy

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that we call God that divine whatever

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your faith is what if there's no partial

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it's not gonna give me a hookup and not

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give you one not gonna give me an

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opportunity give me one I'm just gonna

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go after my diamond down a treadmill

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like wasn't said I'm gonna be on the

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treadmill running you know I'm not I'm

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just not gonna stop because I believe

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all things are available to us I'm just

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wanting to go after are you willing and

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then that is so disruptive cuz then you

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got to make a decision because it's

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easier to live inside the parameters of

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well as a black woman well as born and

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raised in South Central well I'm

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academically - I'm Dyslexic

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I'm dyslexic I wrote seven books on

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dyslexia so just knowing like I'm not

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perfect what I do really well is I

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manage my imperfection well and so we're

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all waiting for perfect it's an illusion

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that will never come to you and it's an

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excuse to never show up and play your

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story is not meant to be your fortress

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your story isn't it to be your fuel any

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story like the fact the beauty of me

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being one of the top 1% earners in

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America is that I was on government

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assistance right like that's the beauty

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like come on it wouldn't be a big deal

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if my family was rich

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like I'm supposed to do something the

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beauty is that when you show the little

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engine that could story I can't I don't

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run fast but I ain't no stop

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I might slow down and have to breathe

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and catch my breath and I'm not stop it

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all things are available to all of us

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and good people should do well because

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when good people do well good people

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just do more good in the world I'm that

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same girl who ran track for Dorsey high

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school and struggled to get through high

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school who got kicked out of college

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because I couldn't afford to stay that

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was on governments I'm the same girl I'm

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that same girl don't forget her I'm also

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that same woman who runs a multi-million

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dollar business

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I'm also the same woman with seven

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bestsellers I own both of those I own

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all of it

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I don't shrink to my greatness and I

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don't live in one side of myself if you

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can own your brilliance while owning

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your your imperfections if you can own

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your giant while owning your smallest if

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you can live in duality constant duality

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the freedom will be earth-shaking if you

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can live in that sea either you don't

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want to be as great as you really are

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and you're trying to dim your life so

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that others won't feel insecure about

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themselves in your presence and so you

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keep playing at 79 watts when you know

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you're supposed to shine at 159 watts

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and you keep taking checking the

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temperature of the room to see what the

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room can handle versus just given the

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room you and letting them at the if your

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lights too bright then let them put on

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some shades can you give yourself

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permission to live in the duality of

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your imperfections in your smallness and

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what you're learning and what you still

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have to learn and your greatness and

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your brilliance in your light can you

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allow them to coexist and then serve

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them up to the world to love you to see

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you to inhale you

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to judge you to leave you to love you

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you're just some of us are just as

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afraid of being loved as we are to be

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left if you go where you've never gone

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do what you've never done and say what

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you never said you'll become the woman

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in the man you've always known yourself

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to be

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[Music]

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you