I'm on government assistance and I run
out of money and I had to buy pampers
for Jelani and I had $11 and 42 cents in
the bank and I remember wrapping my son
in the towel for two days I remember the
second day like you said I had my son my
hand on Jelani stomach and I said don't
worry baby mommy will never be this
broke or broken again and that day what
shifted for me
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was I was willing and I don't know if
this is gonna sound crazy I was willing
to completely die to any form of me that
I had been so that I can birth the woman
that I was
the reason why a lot of people won't
become who they want is because they're
too attached to who they've been and you
hear it all the time when people say
I've always been this way okay well if
that's working for you keep doing that I
knew it wasn't working for me I think I
had hit my version of rock bottom so I
was willing to let go of everything and
everybody see another reason why people
won't get there is because the doorway
is for you to fit through you're trying
to carry everybody else through because
you're trying to be rescue 9-1-1 and you
gotta rescue you first I am much more
valuable to my family and to my
community because Pilate was willing to
let them go go through the door myself
teach myself learn myself condition
myself and then come back and get them
so much more valuable to them now but I
have to go through a window time of 10
years of judgment you leaving us hanging
out with white people all the time you
go to these crazy countries we don't
know what you I have to be willing to to
allow my conviction to make me
inconvenienced see we want to grow but
we want to stay liked by everybody I was
willing to be my own rescue at the risk
of your approval most of us aren't like
that
Facebook this example we want to be
liked well I woke up and I liked myself
today so you'll like his extra my job is
to like me first I was willing to say
everyday Lisa you like you least are you
proud of you
nice are you playing Fallout everyday
before I checked in with anybody else
I was willing to inconvenience my entire
life my entire life I was willing to
disrupt my entire life to buy my future
to buy my possibility to give my dream a
chance see we're not supposed to tuck
our dreams in on the on the pillow when
we get up in the morning we're not
supposed to leave them at home we're
going but Phil somebody else's dream
we're not supposed to do that that's not
what we're wired to do that's not who we
are your human spirit doesn't care about
the economy the human spirit doesn't
care that my son's father went to prison
my the human spirit doesn't care what's
happened to your family the human spirit
doesn't care about the past that you may
have been molested or your family may
have been broken or you may have been
betrayed or you may have a divorce your
human sphere doesn't care about any of
that your human spirit simply says
what's our command for tomorrow what do
you want to create it's not keeping
score your brain is keeping score
because your brain is designed to keep
you safe your soul your intuition your
human spirit is designed to make you
soar
when you get to the edge your brain will
always tell you to step back it's always
gonna tell you to step back because you
can fall always it's gonna tell you step
back because before you fail the last
time you did this you saw someone else
fails you could hurt you can be off work
it's gonna tell you it's designed to
keep you safe so you have to be willing
to play between your brain and your soul
and on some days you gotta just listen
to your soul and you got to say on my
leap I'm gonna get to the edge most
people are at the edge and you're
sending it to edge and you're watching
everyone else fly
let's pick my ride watch my crib all
this stuff you know Washington's lies on
Facebook you're at the edge watching
someone else live wondering what it's
gonna be like when you jump without ever
jumping and I'm just here to tell you
jump because only three things can
happen you're either gonna jump and fly
are you gonna jump in fall on something
soft are you gonna fall down hard either
way you're gonna get back up you already
know you got what it takes to get back
up
you're not your greatest fears not the
true the far the greatest fears that you
will live a full life in never form but
you never leave you're not afraid of
dying
who you really are before they really
get your fingerprint before they really
feel your breath before they really get
your contribution if they really feel
you that's what you don't want to happen
you don't want to leave this place
without us knowing you were here all I'm
doing is giving mice my dream a chance
and I'm not extraordinary you don't get
off the hook you don't get to be like
I'm an ordinary one who chooses every
day to make one more extraordinary
decision everything that I need to get
back up I have in me if I don't have
what I need I can go get it once I
figured that out the world was my like
playground like just the questions just
where do I go get it
well I don't know about that would I go
get it and and I don't come from a
learning background where I was a great
student I wasn't you know my highest
grade in school was a C+ and when I got
a C+ I did the happy dance and and so I
didn't have a background where studying
was natural for me but when I realized
that if I go study something and I learn
it I own it it's mine now man it was
crazy cuz all through school I struggled
I the last time I took an English class
my English teacher told me I was the
weakest writer she ever met in her
entire life
lovely yeah lovely and the same year I
took a speech class and my speech
teacher he said quote unquote miss
Nichols I recommend you never speak in
public that you get a desk job and so I
yeah it just is just you know it was it
was demotivated people sad people hurt
people hurt sad people make other people
sad bottom line don't take it personal
her people hurt see most people want the
convenience of transformation without
the inconvenience a retired US required
for transformation so my grandmother
says and I love to repeat this your
conviction which you're passionate about
your conviction and your convenience
don't live on the same block
they ain't even in the same zip code so
if you want to have a conviction for
something you have to sign up sign up to
the inconvenience we're trying to find
convictions and passion and breakthrough
on the inside of our box well when you
realize that the Box doesn't even exist
like someone made up oh you're playing
outside the box so we all bought into
there's a box well I don't live it I
don't even own a box
I don't even only want to get in your
box you better come out here go ahead
get in there and so when you start
thinking like that time all of a sudden
everything is possible so I you know
people I disrupt people when I say you
want to make me extraordinary because it
lets you off the hook what if the guy
that we call God that divine whatever
your faith is what if there's no partial
it's not gonna give me a hookup and not
give you one not gonna give me an
opportunity give me one I'm just gonna
go after my diamond down a treadmill
like wasn't said I'm gonna be on the
treadmill running you know I'm not I'm
just not gonna stop because I believe
all things are available to us I'm just
wanting to go after are you willing and
then that is so disruptive cuz then you
got to make a decision because it's
easier to live inside the parameters of
well as a black woman well as born and
raised in South Central well I'm
academically - I'm Dyslexic
I'm dyslexic I wrote seven books on
dyslexia so just knowing like I'm not
perfect what I do really well is I
manage my imperfection well and so we're
all waiting for perfect it's an illusion
that will never come to you and it's an
excuse to never show up and play your
story is not meant to be your fortress
your story isn't it to be your fuel any
story like the fact the beauty of me
being one of the top 1% earners in
America is that I was on government
assistance right like that's the beauty
like come on it wouldn't be a big deal
if my family was rich
like I'm supposed to do something the
beauty is that when you show the little
engine that could story I can't I don't
run fast but I ain't no stop
I might slow down and have to breathe
and catch my breath and I'm not stop it
all things are available to all of us
and good people should do well because
when good people do well good people
just do more good in the world I'm that
same girl who ran track for Dorsey high
school and struggled to get through high
school who got kicked out of college
because I couldn't afford to stay that
was on governments I'm the same girl I'm
that same girl don't forget her I'm also
that same woman who runs a multi-million
dollar business
I'm also the same woman with seven
bestsellers I own both of those I own
all of it
I don't shrink to my greatness and I
don't live in one side of myself if you
can own your brilliance while owning
your your imperfections if you can own
your giant while owning your smallest if
you can live in duality constant duality
the freedom will be earth-shaking if you
can live in that sea either you don't
want to be as great as you really are
and you're trying to dim your life so
that others won't feel insecure about
themselves in your presence and so you
keep playing at 79 watts when you know
you're supposed to shine at 159 watts
and you keep taking checking the
temperature of the room to see what the
room can handle versus just given the
room you and letting them at the if your
lights too bright then let them put on
some shades can you give yourself
permission to live in the duality of
your imperfections in your smallness and
what you're learning and what you still
have to learn and your greatness and
your brilliance in your light can you
allow them to coexist and then serve
them up to the world to love you to see
you to inhale you
to judge you to leave you to love you
you're just some of us are just as
afraid of being loved as we are to be
left if you go where you've never gone
do what you've never done and say what
you never said you'll become the woman
in the man you've always known yourself
to be
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you