0:00:01.700,0:00:06.359
I'm on government assistance and I run

0:00:04.560,0:00:09.929
out of money and I had to buy pampers

0:00:06.359,0:00:12.450
for Jelani and I had $11 and 42 cents in

0:00:09.929,0:00:16.619
the bank and I remember wrapping my son

0:00:12.450,0:00:18.690
in the towel for two days I remember the

0:00:16.619,0:00:21.060
second day like you said I had my son my

0:00:18.690,0:00:23.640
hand on Jelani stomach and I said don't

0:00:21.060,0:00:28.710
worry baby mommy will never be this

0:00:23.640,0:00:29.580
broke or broken again and that day what

0:00:28.710,0:00:36.090
shifted for me

0:00:29.580,0:00:39.100
[Music]

0:00:36.090,0:00:42.700
was I was willing and I don't know if

0:00:39.100,0:00:47.410
this is gonna sound crazy I was willing

0:00:42.700,0:00:52.420
to completely die to any form of me that

0:00:47.410,0:00:54.680
I had been so that I can birth the woman

0:00:52.420,0:00:57.220
that I was

0:00:54.680,0:00:59.630
the reason why a lot of people won't

0:00:57.220,0:01:02.180
become who they want is because they're

0:00:59.630,0:01:03.380
too attached to who they've been and you

0:01:02.180,0:01:05.840
hear it all the time when people say

0:01:03.380,0:01:07.690
I've always been this way okay well if

0:01:05.840,0:01:10.510
that's working for you keep doing that I

0:01:07.690,0:01:16.640
knew it wasn't working for me I think I

0:01:10.510,0:01:20.350
had hit my version of rock bottom so I

0:01:16.640,0:01:24.470
was willing to let go of everything and

0:01:20.350,0:01:26.869
everybody see another reason why people

0:01:24.470,0:01:29.390
won't get there is because the doorway

0:01:26.869,0:01:31.369
is for you to fit through you're trying

0:01:29.390,0:01:34.880
to carry everybody else through because

0:01:31.369,0:01:37.790
you're trying to be rescue 9-1-1 and you

0:01:34.880,0:01:39.830
gotta rescue you first I am much more

0:01:37.790,0:01:41.990
valuable to my family and to my

0:01:39.830,0:01:45.280
community because Pilate was willing to

0:01:41.990,0:01:48.530
let them go go through the door myself

0:01:45.280,0:01:50.500
teach myself learn myself condition

0:01:48.530,0:01:53.990
myself and then come back and get them

0:01:50.500,0:01:55.910
so much more valuable to them now but I

0:01:53.990,0:01:59.660
have to go through a window time of 10

0:01:55.910,0:02:01.280
years of judgment you leaving us hanging

0:01:59.660,0:02:03.290
out with white people all the time you

0:02:01.280,0:02:05.630
go to these crazy countries we don't

0:02:03.290,0:02:08.800
know what you I have to be willing to to

0:02:05.630,0:02:12.110
allow my conviction to make me

0:02:08.800,0:02:14.780
inconvenienced see we want to grow but

0:02:12.110,0:02:16.550
we want to stay liked by everybody I was

0:02:14.780,0:02:19.670
willing to be my own rescue at the risk

0:02:16.550,0:02:19.940
of your approval most of us aren't like

0:02:19.670,0:02:21.530
that

0:02:19.940,0:02:23.750
Facebook this example we want to be

0:02:21.530,0:02:27.110
liked well I woke up and I liked myself

0:02:23.750,0:02:29.420
today so you'll like his extra my job is

0:02:27.110,0:02:32.030
to like me first I was willing to say

0:02:29.420,0:02:32.910
everyday Lisa you like you least are you

0:02:32.030,0:02:34.800
proud of you

0:02:32.910,0:02:36.900
nice are you playing Fallout everyday

0:02:34.800,0:02:39.420
before I checked in with anybody else

0:02:36.900,0:02:42.690
I was willing to inconvenience my entire

0:02:39.420,0:02:45.440
life my entire life I was willing to

0:02:42.690,0:02:48.600
disrupt my entire life to buy my future

0:02:45.440,0:02:51.630
to buy my possibility to give my dream a

0:02:48.600,0:02:53.490
chance see we're not supposed to tuck

0:02:51.630,0:02:55.260
our dreams in on the on the pillow when

0:02:53.490,0:02:57.510
we get up in the morning we're not

0:02:55.260,0:02:59.490
supposed to leave them at home we're

0:02:57.510,0:03:00.960
going but Phil somebody else's dream

0:02:59.490,0:03:03.060
we're not supposed to do that that's not

0:03:00.960,0:03:05.640
what we're wired to do that's not who we

0:03:03.060,0:03:07.650
are your human spirit doesn't care about

0:03:05.640,0:03:09.240
the economy the human spirit doesn't

0:03:07.650,0:03:11.370
care that my son's father went to prison

0:03:09.240,0:03:13.170
my the human spirit doesn't care what's

0:03:11.370,0:03:15.870
happened to your family the human spirit

0:03:13.170,0:03:17.640
doesn't care about the past that you may

0:03:15.870,0:03:19.260
have been molested or your family may

0:03:17.640,0:03:21.180
have been broken or you may have been

0:03:19.260,0:03:23.250
betrayed or you may have a divorce your

0:03:21.180,0:03:25.110
human sphere doesn't care about any of

0:03:23.250,0:03:29.130
that your human spirit simply says

0:03:25.110,0:03:31.410
what's our command for tomorrow what do

0:03:29.130,0:03:33.330
you want to create it's not keeping

0:03:31.410,0:03:35.760
score your brain is keeping score

0:03:33.330,0:03:38.880
because your brain is designed to keep

0:03:35.760,0:03:41.040
you safe your soul your intuition your

0:03:38.880,0:03:43.520
human spirit is designed to make you

0:03:41.040,0:03:43.520
soar

0:03:45.110,0:03:52.290
when you get to the edge your brain will

0:03:49.049,0:03:54.959
always tell you to step back it's always

0:03:52.290,0:03:57.239
gonna tell you to step back because you

0:03:54.959,0:03:59.610
can fall always it's gonna tell you step

0:03:57.239,0:04:01.410
back because before you fail the last

0:03:59.610,0:04:03.360
time you did this you saw someone else

0:04:01.410,0:04:05.010
fails you could hurt you can be off work

0:04:03.360,0:04:07.379
it's gonna tell you it's designed to

0:04:05.010,0:04:09.660
keep you safe so you have to be willing

0:04:07.379,0:04:12.269
to play between your brain and your soul

0:04:09.660,0:04:14.370
and on some days you gotta just listen

0:04:12.269,0:04:15.989
to your soul and you got to say on my

0:04:14.370,0:04:17.549
leap I'm gonna get to the edge most

0:04:15.989,0:04:19.380
people are at the edge and you're

0:04:17.549,0:04:21.180
sending it to edge and you're watching

0:04:19.380,0:04:24.060
everyone else fly

0:04:21.180,0:04:26.340
let's pick my ride watch my crib all

0:04:24.060,0:04:28.530
this stuff you know Washington's lies on

0:04:26.340,0:04:30.660
Facebook you're at the edge watching

0:04:28.530,0:04:32.160
someone else live wondering what it's

0:04:30.660,0:04:34.440
gonna be like when you jump without ever

0:04:32.160,0:04:37.020
jumping and I'm just here to tell you

0:04:34.440,0:04:40.090
jump because only three things can

0:04:37.020,0:04:41.770
happen you're either gonna jump and fly

0:04:40.090,0:04:44.530
are you gonna jump in fall on something

0:04:41.770,0:04:47.020
soft are you gonna fall down hard either

0:04:44.530,0:04:48.340
way you're gonna get back up you already

0:04:47.020,0:04:49.370
know you got what it takes to get back

0:04:48.340,0:04:51.770
up

0:04:49.370,0:04:53.750
you're not your greatest fears not the

0:04:51.770,0:04:56.750
true the far the greatest fears that you

0:04:53.750,0:04:58.760
will live a full life in never form but

0:04:56.750,0:05:00.900
you never leave you're not afraid of

0:04:58.760,0:05:03.540
dying

0:05:00.900,0:05:05.340
who you really are before they really

0:05:03.540,0:05:07.169
get your fingerprint before they really

0:05:05.340,0:05:09.509
feel your breath before they really get

0:05:07.169,0:05:11.550
your contribution if they really feel

0:05:09.509,0:05:13.199
you that's what you don't want to happen

0:05:11.550,0:05:16.259
you don't want to leave this place

0:05:13.199,0:05:18.229
without us knowing you were here all I'm

0:05:16.259,0:05:22.650
doing is giving mice my dream a chance

0:05:18.229,0:05:24.389
and I'm not extraordinary you don't get

0:05:22.650,0:05:27.810
off the hook you don't get to be like

0:05:24.389,0:05:30.210
I'm an ordinary one who chooses every

0:05:27.810,0:05:38.760
day to make one more extraordinary

0:05:30.210,0:05:41.460
decision everything that I need to get

0:05:38.760,0:05:44.070
back up I have in me if I don't have

0:05:41.460,0:05:46.110
what I need I can go get it once I

0:05:44.070,0:05:48.240
figured that out the world was my like

0:05:46.110,0:05:48.990
playground like just the questions just

0:05:48.240,0:05:50.460
where do I go get it

0:05:48.990,0:05:52.800
well I don't know about that would I go

0:05:50.460,0:05:54.360
get it and and I don't come from a

0:05:52.800,0:05:56.669
learning background where I was a great

0:05:54.360,0:05:59.370
student I wasn't you know my highest

0:05:56.669,0:06:02.910
grade in school was a C+ and when I got

0:05:59.370,0:06:04.650
a C+ I did the happy dance and and so I

0:06:02.910,0:06:07.289
didn't have a background where studying

0:06:04.650,0:06:09.990
was natural for me but when I realized

0:06:07.289,0:06:13.349
that if I go study something and I learn

0:06:09.990,0:06:16.050
it I own it it's mine now man it was

0:06:13.349,0:06:17.669
crazy cuz all through school I struggled

0:06:16.050,0:06:18.990
I the last time I took an English class

0:06:17.669,0:06:20.130
my English teacher told me I was the

0:06:18.990,0:06:20.699
weakest writer she ever met in her

0:06:20.130,0:06:23.729
entire life

0:06:20.699,0:06:25.050
lovely yeah lovely and the same year I

0:06:23.729,0:06:26.430
took a speech class and my speech

0:06:25.050,0:06:27.870
teacher he said quote unquote miss

0:06:26.430,0:06:30.949
Nichols I recommend you never speak in

0:06:27.870,0:06:34.020
public that you get a desk job and so I

0:06:30.949,0:06:37.500
yeah it just is just you know it was it

0:06:34.020,0:06:39.389
was demotivated people sad people hurt

0:06:37.500,0:06:41.370
people hurt sad people make other people

0:06:39.389,0:06:43.770
sad bottom line don't take it personal

0:06:41.370,0:06:46.860
her people hurt see most people want the

0:06:43.770,0:06:50.849
convenience of transformation without

0:06:46.860,0:06:53.130
the inconvenience a retired US required

0:06:50.849,0:06:54.930
for transformation so my grandmother

0:06:53.130,0:06:56.760
says and I love to repeat this your

0:06:54.930,0:06:58.919
conviction which you're passionate about

0:06:56.760,0:07:01.070
your conviction and your convenience

0:06:58.919,0:07:03.780
don't live on the same block

0:07:01.070,0:07:05.310
they ain't even in the same zip code so

0:07:03.780,0:07:08.610
if you want to have a conviction for

0:07:05.310,0:07:10.650
something you have to sign up sign up to

0:07:08.610,0:07:12.720
the inconvenience we're trying to find

0:07:10.650,0:07:14.670
convictions and passion and breakthrough

0:07:12.720,0:07:16.980
on the inside of our box well when you

0:07:14.670,0:07:19.140
realize that the Box doesn't even exist

0:07:16.980,0:07:20.820
like someone made up oh you're playing

0:07:19.140,0:07:23.070
outside the box so we all bought into

0:07:20.820,0:07:24.300
there's a box well I don't live it I

0:07:23.070,0:07:26.400
don't even own a box

0:07:24.300,0:07:29.340
I don't even only want to get in your

0:07:26.400,0:07:30.810
box you better come out here go ahead

0:07:29.340,0:07:33.080
get in there and so when you start

0:07:30.810,0:07:36.360
thinking like that time all of a sudden

0:07:33.080,0:07:38.520
everything is possible so I you know

0:07:36.360,0:07:39.990
people I disrupt people when I say you

0:07:38.520,0:07:42.780
want to make me extraordinary because it

0:07:39.990,0:07:44.580
lets you off the hook what if the guy

0:07:42.780,0:07:46.740
that we call God that divine whatever

0:07:44.580,0:07:48.330
your faith is what if there's no partial

0:07:46.740,0:07:49.650
it's not gonna give me a hookup and not

0:07:48.330,0:07:51.270
give you one not gonna give me an

0:07:49.650,0:07:53.010
opportunity give me one I'm just gonna

0:07:51.270,0:07:54.390
go after my diamond down a treadmill

0:07:53.010,0:07:56.490
like wasn't said I'm gonna be on the

0:07:54.390,0:07:58.140
treadmill running you know I'm not I'm

0:07:56.490,0:08:00.570
just not gonna stop because I believe

0:07:58.140,0:08:02.160
all things are available to us I'm just

0:08:00.570,0:08:05.160
wanting to go after are you willing and

0:08:02.160,0:08:07.140
then that is so disruptive cuz then you

0:08:05.160,0:08:08.729
got to make a decision because it's

0:08:07.140,0:08:11.520
easier to live inside the parameters of

0:08:08.729,0:08:13.440
well as a black woman well as born and

0:08:11.520,0:08:14.850
raised in South Central well I'm

0:08:13.440,0:08:16.410
academically - I'm Dyslexic

0:08:14.850,0:08:19.380
I'm dyslexic I wrote seven books on

0:08:16.410,0:08:21.270
dyslexia so just knowing like I'm not

0:08:19.380,0:08:23.790
perfect what I do really well is I

0:08:21.270,0:08:25.650
manage my imperfection well and so we're

0:08:23.790,0:08:27.000
all waiting for perfect it's an illusion

0:08:25.650,0:08:29.310
that will never come to you and it's an

0:08:27.000,0:08:31.440
excuse to never show up and play your

0:08:29.310,0:08:34.589
story is not meant to be your fortress

0:08:31.440,0:08:37.229
your story isn't it to be your fuel any

0:08:34.589,0:08:39.479
story like the fact the beauty of me

0:08:37.229,0:08:41.760
being one of the top 1% earners in

0:08:39.479,0:08:43.919
America is that I was on government

0:08:41.760,0:08:46.140
assistance right like that's the beauty

0:08:43.919,0:08:48.329
like come on it wouldn't be a big deal

0:08:46.140,0:08:50.939
if my family was rich

0:08:48.329,0:08:53.249
like I'm supposed to do something the

0:08:50.939,0:08:55.410
beauty is that when you show the little

0:08:53.249,0:08:57.430
engine that could story I can't I don't

0:08:55.410,0:08:59.440
run fast but I ain't no stop

0:08:57.430,0:09:02.570
I might slow down and have to breathe

0:08:59.440,0:09:04.520
and catch my breath and I'm not stop it

0:09:02.570,0:09:07.580
all things are available to all of us

0:09:04.520,0:09:09.830
and good people should do well because

0:09:07.580,0:09:14.930
when good people do well good people

0:09:09.830,0:09:16.730
just do more good in the world I'm that

0:09:14.930,0:09:18.110
same girl who ran track for Dorsey high

0:09:16.730,0:09:19.460
school and struggled to get through high

0:09:18.110,0:09:21.530
school who got kicked out of college

0:09:19.460,0:09:23.480
because I couldn't afford to stay that

0:09:21.530,0:09:26.330
was on governments I'm the same girl I'm

0:09:23.480,0:09:29.030
that same girl don't forget her I'm also

0:09:26.330,0:09:29.810
that same woman who runs a multi-million

0:09:29.030,0:09:32.270
dollar business

0:09:29.810,0:09:35.390
I'm also the same woman with seven

0:09:32.270,0:09:36.320
bestsellers I own both of those I own

0:09:35.390,0:09:38.150
all of it

0:09:36.320,0:09:40.730
I don't shrink to my greatness and I

0:09:38.150,0:09:43.040
don't live in one side of myself if you

0:09:40.730,0:09:46.100
can own your brilliance while owning

0:09:43.040,0:09:50.000
your your imperfections if you can own

0:09:46.100,0:09:53.870
your giant while owning your smallest if

0:09:50.000,0:09:58.670
you can live in duality constant duality

0:09:53.870,0:10:00.800
the freedom will be earth-shaking if you

0:09:58.670,0:10:01.970
can live in that sea either you don't

0:10:00.800,0:10:04.220
want to be as great as you really are

0:10:01.970,0:10:06.320
and you're trying to dim your life so

0:10:04.220,0:10:10.820
that others won't feel insecure about

0:10:06.320,0:10:13.700
themselves in your presence and so you

0:10:10.820,0:10:16.070
keep playing at 79 watts when you know

0:10:13.700,0:10:18.170
you're supposed to shine at 159 watts

0:10:16.070,0:10:19.610
and you keep taking checking the

0:10:18.170,0:10:21.890
temperature of the room to see what the

0:10:19.610,0:10:23.480
room can handle versus just given the

0:10:21.890,0:10:24.770
room you and letting them at the if your

0:10:23.480,0:10:26.720
lights too bright then let them put on

0:10:24.770,0:10:28.820
some shades can you give yourself

0:10:26.720,0:10:31.070
permission to live in the duality of

0:10:28.820,0:10:32.360
your imperfections in your smallness and

0:10:31.070,0:10:34.280
what you're learning and what you still

0:10:32.360,0:10:36.230
have to learn and your greatness and

0:10:34.280,0:10:38.120
your brilliance in your light can you

0:10:36.230,0:10:40.970
allow them to coexist and then serve

0:10:38.120,0:10:42.529
them up to the world to love you to see

0:10:40.970,0:10:47.170
you to inhale you

0:10:42.529,0:10:49.850
to judge you to leave you to love you

0:10:47.170,0:10:51.620
you're just some of us are just as

0:10:49.850,0:10:54.589
afraid of being loved as we are to be

0:10:51.620,0:10:57.170
left if you go where you've never gone

0:10:54.589,0:10:59.240
do what you've never done and say what

0:10:57.170,0:11:00.920
you never said you'll become the woman

0:10:59.240,0:11:01.950
in the man you've always known yourself

0:11:00.920,0:11:34.980
to be

0:11:01.950,0:11:34.980
[Music]

0:11:37.510,0:11:39.570
you