Yes, I'm sorry to have to tell you this
But...
but in the light of recent events
and redundancies within the company
It's your turn now
And I'm really sorry, but...
You're fired.
Am I what, sorry?
You are fired
And what does that mean?
It doesn't mean anything other than
That you're fired.
Thank you very much
Well, thank you.
Well, what did he say?
That was really bizarre...
Why?
that man is very strange...
What did he say?
He said I was on fire
Did he say that?
Yeah, "You're on fire"
He said I was on fire!
Very strange...
Exactly what he said to me last week
Let's get back to work!
Hello and welcome to the first Fóstbræður episode
This tune that you're hearing now
is our themesong
This is the Fóstbræður themesong
and...
if I'm not mistaken you'll be humming this song for the next few weeks
But my name is Sigurður Kjarnanon
Hylmir Snær Gunnarsson
Benedikt Erlingsson, glad to see so many of you
Helga Braga, Hi!
Jón Gnarr, I hope you'll enjoy yourself
Yeah, my name is Halldór and I'm a salesman
Sometimes called the salesman of death
I sell drugs
I begin the day early to catch the morning traffic
Drugs, drugs!
Get yourself something stimulation for a busy day!
Amphetamine
Hash
In this job you constantly need to be on the lookout
Disguised policemen can be lurking everywhere
But when I can feel that I'm being watched downtown
I go door to door and try to sell there
Good evening
I'm selling drugs
I see, look I can't afford it at the moment
Well, alright
Thanks
It has it's highs and lows
Sometimes I'm received well
But some are maybe skint...
Good afternoon
I'm here to sell drugs
Do you have some good Amphetamine?
Yes, I have some very nice Amphetamine here, in pill form
Very clean stuff
Sounds very good
Good price?
Yes, very good price
I also have an Amphetamine offer on at the moment
And I also have a set of all kinds of drugs
like a starter kit
That sounds awfully tempting
It's usually very lonely to come home at night
But there's a sense of security knowing that the police guards my house
Good night boys
The American football player OJ Simpson
Was sentenced to pay 600 million ISK in damages
and I was wondering
Why ISK?
Where does OJ Simpson get all this Icelandic money?
Ah, nice weather don't you think?
yeah, it's very nice
The sun is shining
Can you hear the birds?
We're here on the green grass surrounded by nature
Not inside some white dead office
That's why I just want you to relax
Enjoy being here
Put your chin down
all the way down
til you can't understand what you're saying
Put your tongue out like this
relax
relax the tongue
and close your eyes
relax...
completely relax
and kiss me
No, what is this?!
No no
just relax
Relax
the quiet, and the nature
Just relax
Completely relax
And kiss me
No, I'm not gonna kiss you
No, just relax
That's it, relax
Don't fall asleep
And kiss me
No, what is going on?!
I didn't mean to kiss you
What have I done?
And relax
Good afternoon doctor
Good afternoon
What can I do for you?
I've been meaning to talk to you for a while
But I feel a little like...
Well maybe I'm just being a bit paranoid
But I feel like my hair is starting to thin out a little bit
thinning out?
Your hair?
Now I do have very thick hair
and when I run my fingers through my hair
I feel like it's starting to thin out a little bit
But a lot, just a little bit
I see...
You see my brother began losing his hair a while ago
and is now completely bald
and I don't wanna end up like him
so I wanna prevent that from happening to me
Do you maybe have some sort of cream, shampoo or something?
Uuh, no I'm afraid there's not much of that
But...
What do you find wrong with being bald?
There's nothing really wrong with it
It suits probably some people
It's just not for me
But there are many famous historical figures bald
Lenin
and Caesar
and more were bald
I cannot look a bald person in the eye
I have not spoken to my brother for 2 years
I feel so sorry for him
and the poor guy is in such denial
and does he not admit that he is bald?
Yes, he does
But he finds it cool
How odd
Listen, let's have a look
I have a spoon
and you can feel here that i's cold
Yeah, it's really cold
But you can't feel anything now right?
No
No, that's because the hair is inbetween
What do you feel now?
Nothing, the hair is inbetween
I don´t know how to tell you this
I don't want to hurt your feelings
But I have to tell you...
You, you are bald
What do you mean?
I mean that, you are bald
Completely bald
So what you mean is that my hair is all in my imagination
Yes
And this lock of hair here
is just an imaginary lock
Yes
And this pain that I feel now is just imaginary pain
yes
That's correct
Just see for yourself
Can it be doctor that you react this way because you are a redhead
hang on, hang on, what do you mean?
Now you are a redhead
No, I'm not a redhead, but I used to be and suffered a lot because of it
But today I am thankfully bald
You're bald?
Yes, not a single hair on my head
Well...I see this isn't going anywhere
Take care
You are no more balder than I am!
Bye bye, and thank you for coming!
I never leave the house without carrying with me a small kitten
I can keep it on my pocket
or in my bag
or in the car
So if anyone asks me if they know someone that needs to get rid of a kitten
I sure think so
I bring out the kitten and the person gains a new companion
and I get rid of the hassle of raising, feeding and carrying around a small kitten
Just relax and get comfortable
I'm almost ready
There's no point taking photos of me
I'm so ugly
No that's not true
Yes, I'm hideously ugly
No, you're very pretty
No, I am very ugly!
You know what,I think you're a very beautiful girl
You think so?
Yeah, I think you're a cutie
Really?
Yea
No you don't mean it
Don't, I am ugly
There's no point taking photos of me
You know, I really think you're nice looking
I mean...would you like to go on a date with me?
With you?
Yeah just something relaxing
and do what?
Go out for dinner
for example
Where?
For real, you'd like to go out with me?
Not just got to a hot dog stand or something?
No
No, somewhere romantic
Listen, have you modeled before?
Me?
Yeah, I feel like you've been modeling before
Me?
Yea
I feel like I recognize you from somewhere
No, you're just messing with me
You'd never wanna be seen with me
Just see how ugly I am
See how ugly I am
I know exactly what I'm talking about
I've been in this business for a long time
And I know what I'm talking about when I say that you have nice facial features
You have really nice features
your hair for example, really beautiful
You think so?
You think my hair is beautiful?
You have that special chestnut brown hair
You never see that kinda hair, except for maybe in Paris
You don't think it's too thick?
No, it's the perfect looking hair
And the eyes, you have really nice eyes
You're such a cutie pie
Yeah for real
It's true
No, I am ugly
I'm very ugly
I'm extremely ugly!
And you're lying to me
See how ugly I am
ugh, see
I am ugly
No, you're not ugly
You just...don't photograph very well
Alright boys
You might know there's been a lot of break-ins all over town
We've gotta spread out and keep a low profile
And see what we can find out
Donni og Kalli, you go to the west side of town
Jonni and Benni, you go east and Þingholt
Put your disguises on at the front desk
And for the love of god, be careful out there
Benni, I need to talk to you
Racism, has been on the news a lot lately
And for a good reason
The numbers of immigrants in Iceland are increasing
So we decided to investigate if racism has began to surface in our small nation
Sigurjón Kjartanson, you went to investigate
Yes, that's correct
And what we discovered was shocking
I decided to disguise myself as a china man
Go out into the public and see what reception I would get
The reception was horrifying
People laughed at my appearance and race
And found it funny that I was from a land far away
and spoke an exotic language
Is it still halloween?
Typical
Is this a joke?
I found it hard to believe
I decided to reply to a few job vacancies
and see what reception I would get
I decided to go under the name Hoshi Ding Dong
And went for a few job interviews
Hoshi Ding Dong
What is this?
What do you need?
I want job
work
Is this some kinda joke?
My name is Hoshi Ding Dong
No joke
I feel like I recognize you
Microphones and everything
Why don't you just go make jokes somewhere else
That's quite a costume you've got on there
You are racism
Racist!
I've never seen anything like it
Racist!
Racist
No, this is a joke right?
You're just messing about right?
You might find this funny
what is this?
you might find this funny
but there's loads of Asian people living here unemployed
This is a joke
This isn't a? Well this isn't candid camera that's for sure
Everywhere I went I was mocked and ridiculed
I felt really bad after that day
I felt humiliated and isolated
If this is the reality with us here in Iceland, we can except the same from our travels to other countries
That's why I'm telling you, don't let race and peoples appearance blind you
Stop racism
Reykjavík
The city of fear
Criminals run-a-muck
and no one gets justice
Now the police are turning to you
Help us help you
Report the crime before it happens
Call 112
And you could win
A free pizza!
Thank you for yourself friend
And enjoy your meal
Take part in a fun game
Everyone that reports a crime gets their name put in the pizza raffle
and each day get 4 lucky people piping hot pizza delivered to their door
and a fizzy drink of their own choice!
Stop crime, eat pizza
The Police
I'd like to ask you Sigurjón
In regards to this show
Didn't you ever find it difficult ?
I mean, I personally have a life experience regarding it
I was sitting in my car, learning my lines
the sun was shining
and I thought, why am I here?
Why am I not outside with the nature?
You have of course worked on other TV shows
and have experience with this sort of work
But don't you think it's difficult?
By that I mean different from other jobs
I've worked at a bar and as a fisherman
Both difficult jobs
But very different from each other
I went for example to Seville for Spanish lessons
And that was really hard
you understand, but kinda similar
I mean we both been working from 9 in the morning til 12 at night
I mean you're family man
I mean you can't even go to the bank
I can't get a word in because of you
I'm so sorry
Sigurjón, I was asking you, i didn't mean to walk all over you
You talk
I hate it personally when someone walks all over me
I mean you're talking, you wanna say something
You just get so angry, you can't get a word in
Because there's someone talking over you, I just hate it
Just say it, express what you want to say
I want to know about you
Here with us is Philip Brovhny
Better know as Filippus Bragi
Which is of course his Icelandic name
Welcome to the show
No
Now it's been 26 years since you came to this country
No
Well maybe not 26 years
No
Well something like that
but you came here recently with your family and you settled down here, isn't that right?
That's right
26 years
When I came here it was...
There was a lot of turbulence on the airplane when you came here?
No
Cold then?
Yes
26 years
Yeah, it wasn't ruined?
But tell me
Now you're one of the biggest modern day publishers of Icelandic literature
When did you get interested in Icelandic culture?
Icelandic culture
Milking Breasts?
Milking breasts?
Right
But, do you think Iceland is a cultured nation?
No
No?
No
But what do you think about modern day Icelandic literature?
Literature aren't breasts
Walk the long road
Yeah, walk the long road
Yes, but let's focus on something else
Now you speak fluent Icelandic
Don't fuck me
No no
But, did your children help you with learning Icelandic?
My children always fucking their father
Always fucking
Your children sound very energetic
indeed
It was very nice to have you on the show
No
Well, I thought so atleast
Thank you very much
no
And take care
Hello
Just fucking you
Thank you
This episode is now over
We'll see you next week
Unless one of us dies
yeah but that's a different story
Thank you, bye bye!