1 00:00:00,690 --> 00:00:03,666 It was the spring of 2011, 2 00:00:03,690 --> 00:00:06,492 and as they like to say in commencement speeches, 3 00:00:06,516 --> 00:00:10,080 I was getting ready to enter the real world. 4 00:00:10,727 --> 00:00:13,359 I had recently graduated from college 5 00:00:13,383 --> 00:00:16,123 and moved to Paris to start my first job. 6 00:00:16,990 --> 00:00:20,862 My dream was to become a war correspondent, 7 00:00:20,886 --> 00:00:23,043 but the real world that I found 8 00:00:23,067 --> 00:00:27,347 took me into a really different kind of conflict zone. 9 00:00:28,974 --> 00:00:30,998 At 22 years old, 10 00:00:31,022 --> 00:00:33,925 I was diagnosed with leukemia. 11 00:00:34,927 --> 00:00:38,212 The doctors told me and my parents, point-blank, 12 00:00:38,236 --> 00:00:42,701 that I had about a 35 percent chance of long-term survival. 13 00:00:44,006 --> 00:00:48,823 I couldn't wrap my head around what that prognosis meant. 14 00:00:48,847 --> 00:00:53,950 But I understood that the reality and the life I'd imagined for myself 15 00:00:53,974 --> 00:00:55,124 had shattered. 16 00:00:55,744 --> 00:01:00,750 Overnight, I lost my job, my apartment, my independence, 17 00:01:00,774 --> 00:01:04,546 and I became patient number 5624. 18 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:10,229 Over the next four years of chemo, a clinical trial 19 00:01:10,253 --> 00:01:12,133 and a bone marrow transplant, 20 00:01:12,157 --> 00:01:14,468 the hospital became my home, 21 00:01:14,492 --> 00:01:17,487 my bed, the place I lived 24/7. 22 00:01:18,111 --> 00:01:21,860 Since it was unlikely that I'd ever get better, 23 00:01:21,884 --> 00:01:24,811 I had to accept my new reality. 24 00:01:25,276 --> 00:01:27,627 And I adapted. 25 00:01:28,196 --> 00:01:31,791 I became fluent in medicalese, 26 00:01:31,815 --> 00:01:36,513 made friends with a group of other young cancer patients, 27 00:01:36,537 --> 00:01:40,871 built a vast collection of neon wigs 28 00:01:40,895 --> 00:01:46,702 and learned to use my rolling IV pole as a skateboard. 29 00:01:47,943 --> 00:01:51,022 I even achieved my dream of becoming a war correspondent, 30 00:01:51,046 --> 00:01:53,713 although not in the way I'd expected. 31 00:01:54,220 --> 00:01:55,974 It started with a blog, 32 00:01:55,998 --> 00:01:58,335 reporting from the front lines of my hospital bed, 33 00:01:58,359 --> 00:02:02,185 and it morphed into a column I wrote for the New York Times, 34 00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:03,942 called "Life, Interrupted." 35 00:02:04,784 --> 00:02:05,935 But -- (Applause) 36 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,111 Thank you. 37 00:02:07,135 --> 00:02:09,195 (Applause) 38 00:02:09,620 --> 00:02:11,890 But above all else, 39 00:02:11,914 --> 00:02:15,072 my focus was on surviving. 40 00:02:15,863 --> 00:02:18,490 And -- spoiler alert -- 41 00:02:18,514 --> 00:02:20,609 (Laughter) 42 00:02:20,633 --> 00:02:22,761 I did survive, yeah. 43 00:02:22,785 --> 00:02:27,815 (Applause) 44 00:02:27,839 --> 00:02:30,704 Thanks to an army of supportive humans, 45 00:02:30,728 --> 00:02:34,537 I'm not just still here, I am cured of my cancer. 46 00:02:34,921 --> 00:02:36,082 (Applause) 47 00:02:36,106 --> 00:02:37,258 Thank you. 48 00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:39,346 (Applause) 49 00:02:39,370 --> 00:02:43,503 So, when you go through a traumatic experience like this, 50 00:02:43,527 --> 00:02:45,174 people treat you differently. 51 00:02:45,614 --> 00:02:49,684 They start telling you how much of an inspiration you are. 52 00:02:50,136 --> 00:02:52,522 They say you're a warrior. 53 00:02:52,546 --> 00:02:54,490 They call you a hero, 54 00:02:54,514 --> 00:02:57,466 someone who's lived the mythical hero's journey, 55 00:02:57,490 --> 00:02:59,575 who's endured impossible trials 56 00:02:59,599 --> 00:03:02,926 and, against the odds, lived to tell the tale, 57 00:03:02,950 --> 00:03:06,817 returning better and braver for what you're been through. 58 00:03:07,839 --> 00:03:12,445 And this definitely lines up with my experience. 59 00:03:12,469 --> 00:03:14,723 Cancer totally transformed my life. 60 00:03:14,747 --> 00:03:17,715 I left the hospital knowing exactly who I was 61 00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:19,802 and what I wanted to do in the world. 62 00:03:19,826 --> 00:03:22,515 And now, every day as the sun rises, 63 00:03:22,539 --> 00:03:25,117 I drink a big glass of celery juice, 64 00:03:25,141 --> 00:03:27,966 and I follow this up with 90 minutes of yoga. 65 00:03:28,649 --> 00:03:34,545 Then, I write down 50 things I'm grateful for onto a scroll of paper 66 00:03:34,569 --> 00:03:39,481 that I fold into an origami crane and send sailing out my window. 67 00:03:39,505 --> 00:03:41,172 (Laughter) 68 00:03:41,196 --> 00:03:44,327 Are you seriously believing any of this? 69 00:03:44,351 --> 00:03:46,433 (Laughter) 70 00:03:46,457 --> 00:03:48,280 I don't do any of these things. 71 00:03:48,304 --> 00:03:49,411 (Laughter) 72 00:03:49,435 --> 00:03:53,636 I hate yoga, and I have no idea how to fold an origami crane. 73 00:03:55,355 --> 00:03:57,437 The truth is that for me, 74 00:03:57,461 --> 00:04:02,337 the hardest part of my cancer experience began once the cancer was gone. 75 00:04:03,538 --> 00:04:07,299 That heroic journey of the survivor we see in movies 76 00:04:07,323 --> 00:04:09,633 and watch play out on Instagram -- 77 00:04:09,657 --> 00:04:10,815 it's a myth. 78 00:04:10,839 --> 00:04:13,410 It isn't just untrue, it's dangerous, 79 00:04:13,434 --> 00:04:16,829 because it erases the very real challenges of recovery. 80 00:04:17,529 --> 00:04:23,141 Now, don't get me wrong -- I am incredibly grateful to be alive, 81 00:04:23,165 --> 00:04:26,667 and I am painfully aware that this struggle is a privilege 82 00:04:26,691 --> 00:04:28,771 that many don't get to experience. 83 00:04:29,284 --> 00:04:31,790 But it's important that I tell you 84 00:04:31,814 --> 00:04:37,085 what this projection of heroism and expectation of constant gratitude 85 00:04:37,109 --> 00:04:39,466 does to people who are trying to recover. 86 00:04:39,886 --> 00:04:44,236 Because being cured is not where the work of healing ends. 87 00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:46,632 It's where it begins. 88 00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:51,895 I'll never forget the day I was discharged from the hospital, 89 00:04:51,919 --> 00:04:54,109 finally done with treatment. 90 00:04:54,997 --> 00:05:00,810 Those four years of chemo had taken a toll on my relationship 91 00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:02,720 with my longtime boyfriend, 92 00:05:02,744 --> 00:05:04,802 and he'd recently moved out. 93 00:05:05,498 --> 00:05:09,378 And when I walked into my apartment, it was quiet. 94 00:05:09,831 --> 00:05:10,981 Eerily so. 95 00:05:12,192 --> 00:05:14,887 The person I wanted to call in this moment, 96 00:05:14,911 --> 00:05:18,410 the person who I knew would understand everything, 97 00:05:18,434 --> 00:05:20,100 was my friend Melissa. 98 00:05:20,498 --> 00:05:22,550 She was a fellow cancer patient, 99 00:05:22,574 --> 00:05:25,198 but she had died three weeks earlier. 100 00:05:26,515 --> 00:05:29,491 As I stood there in the doorway of my apartment, 101 00:05:29,515 --> 00:05:31,396 I wanted to cry. 102 00:05:31,420 --> 00:05:34,302 But I was too tired to cry. 103 00:05:34,728 --> 00:05:36,577 The adrenaline was gone. 104 00:05:36,601 --> 00:05:39,371 I had felt as if the inner scaffolding 105 00:05:39,395 --> 00:05:41,832 that had held me together since my diagnosis 106 00:05:41,856 --> 00:05:43,497 had suddenly crumbled. 107 00:05:44,173 --> 00:05:51,082 I had spent the past 1,500 days working tirelessly to achieve one goal: 108 00:05:51,106 --> 00:05:52,487 to survive. 109 00:05:52,511 --> 00:05:54,416 And now that I'd done so, 110 00:05:54,440 --> 00:06:00,071 I realized I had absolutely no idea how to live. 111 00:06:01,996 --> 00:06:04,036 On paper, of course, I was better: 112 00:06:04,060 --> 00:06:06,163 I didn't have leukemia, 113 00:06:06,187 --> 00:06:08,040 my blood counts were back to normal, 114 00:06:08,064 --> 00:06:10,841 and the disability checks soon stopped coming. 115 00:06:11,244 --> 00:06:12,482 To the outside world, 116 00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:17,006 I clearly didn't belong in the kingdom of the sick anymore. 117 00:06:17,871 --> 00:06:21,823 But in reality, I never felt further from being well. 118 00:06:22,688 --> 00:06:27,402 All that chemo had taken a permanent physical toll on my body. 119 00:06:27,949 --> 00:06:31,069 I wondered, "What kind of job can I hold 120 00:06:31,093 --> 00:06:35,156 when I need to nap for four hours in the middle of the day? 121 00:06:35,180 --> 00:06:37,641 When my misfiring immune system 122 00:06:37,665 --> 00:06:41,013 still sends me to the ER on a regular basis?" 123 00:06:41,657 --> 00:06:45,491 And then there were the invisible, psychological imprints 124 00:06:45,515 --> 00:06:47,665 my illness had left behind: 125 00:06:47,689 --> 00:06:50,332 the fears of relapse, 126 00:06:50,356 --> 00:06:52,258 the unprocessed grief, 127 00:06:52,282 --> 00:06:57,922 the demons of PTSD that descended upon me for days, sometimes weeks. 128 00:06:58,921 --> 00:07:01,175 See, we talk about reentry 129 00:07:01,199 --> 00:07:04,524 in the context of war and incarceration. 130 00:07:04,548 --> 00:07:06,442 But we don't talk about it as much 131 00:07:06,466 --> 00:07:10,767 in the context of other kinds of traumatic experiences, like an illness. 132 00:07:11,911 --> 00:07:15,815 Because no one had warned me of the challenges of reentry, 133 00:07:15,839 --> 00:07:18,616 I thought something must be wrong with me. 134 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:20,815 I felt ashamed, 135 00:07:20,839 --> 00:07:24,125 and with great guilt, I kept reminding myself 136 00:07:24,149 --> 00:07:26,440 of how lucky I was to be alive at all, 137 00:07:26,464 --> 00:07:29,375 when so many people like my friend Melissa were not. 138 00:07:30,387 --> 00:07:33,982 But on most days, I woke up feeling so sad and lost, 139 00:07:34,006 --> 00:07:35,725 I could barely breathe. 140 00:07:36,204 --> 00:07:41,008 Sometimes, I even fantasized about getting sick again. 141 00:07:41,683 --> 00:07:42,835 And let me tell you, 142 00:07:42,859 --> 00:07:46,763 there are so many better things to fantasize about 143 00:07:46,787 --> 00:07:49,509 when you're in your twenties and recently single. 144 00:07:49,533 --> 00:07:51,455 (Laughter) 145 00:07:51,479 --> 00:07:55,375 But I missed the hospital's ecosystem. 146 00:07:55,399 --> 00:07:58,812 Like me, everyone in there was broken. 147 00:07:58,836 --> 00:08:03,208 But out here, among the living, I felt like an impostor, 148 00:08:03,232 --> 00:08:06,136 overwhelmed and unable to function. 149 00:08:06,692 --> 00:08:11,057 I also missed the sense of clarity I'd felt at my sickest. 150 00:08:11,581 --> 00:08:16,646 Staring your mortality straight in the eye has a way of simplifying things, 151 00:08:16,670 --> 00:08:20,193 of rerouting your focus to what really matters. 152 00:08:20,686 --> 00:08:23,027 And when I was sick, I vowed that if I survived, 153 00:08:23,051 --> 00:08:24,553 it had to be for something. 154 00:08:24,577 --> 00:08:27,974 It had to be to live a good life, an adventurous life, 155 00:08:27,998 --> 00:08:29,308 a meaningful one. 156 00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:32,386 But the question, once I was cured, 157 00:08:32,410 --> 00:08:34,053 became: How? 158 00:08:34,712 --> 00:08:39,630 I was 27 years old with no job, no partner, no structure. 159 00:08:39,654 --> 00:08:44,021 And this time, I didn't have treatment protocols or discharge instructions 160 00:08:44,045 --> 00:08:45,844 to help guide my way forward. 161 00:08:46,773 --> 00:08:52,698 But what I did have was an in-box full of internet messages 162 00:08:52,722 --> 00:08:54,011 from strangers. 163 00:08:54,895 --> 00:08:56,050 Over the years, 164 00:08:56,074 --> 00:08:58,720 people from all over the world had read my column, 165 00:08:58,744 --> 00:09:02,997 and they'd responded with letters, comments and emails. 166 00:09:04,046 --> 00:09:08,754 It was a mix, as is often the case, for writers. 167 00:09:09,773 --> 00:09:12,408 I got a lot of unsolicited advice 168 00:09:12,432 --> 00:09:16,075 about how to cure my cancer with things like essential oils. 169 00:09:17,281 --> 00:09:20,304 I got some questions about my bra size. 170 00:09:20,687 --> 00:09:22,527 But mostly -- 171 00:09:22,551 --> 00:09:23,654 (Laughter) 172 00:09:23,678 --> 00:09:28,416 mostly, I heard from people who, in their own different way, 173 00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:30,922 understood what it was that I was going through. 174 00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:34,537 I heard from a teenage girl in Florida 175 00:09:34,561 --> 00:09:36,871 who, like me, was coming out of chemo 176 00:09:36,895 --> 00:09:40,863 and wrote me a message composed largely of emojis. 177 00:09:41,649 --> 00:09:47,053 I heard from a retired art history professor in Ohio named Howard, 178 00:09:47,077 --> 00:09:48,501 who'd spent most of his life 179 00:09:48,525 --> 00:09:51,980 struggling with a mysterious, debilitating health condition 180 00:09:52,004 --> 00:09:54,591 that he'd had from the time he was a young man. 181 00:09:55,321 --> 00:10:00,002 I heard from an inmate on death row in Texas 182 00:10:00,026 --> 00:10:02,490 by the name of Little GQ -- 183 00:10:02,514 --> 00:10:04,609 short for "Gangster Quinn." 184 00:10:05,442 --> 00:10:07,728 He'd never been sick a day in his life. 185 00:10:07,752 --> 00:10:10,893 He does 1,000 push-ups to start off each morning. 186 00:10:10,917 --> 00:10:13,523 But he related to what I described in one column 187 00:10:13,547 --> 00:10:15,734 as my "incanceration," 188 00:10:15,758 --> 00:10:19,943 and to the experience of being confined to a tiny fluorescent room. 189 00:10:21,458 --> 00:10:25,593 "I know that our situations are different," he wrote to me, 190 00:10:25,966 --> 00:10:30,212 "But the threat of death lurks in both of our shadows." 191 00:10:31,819 --> 00:10:35,962 In those lonely first weeks and months of my recovery, 192 00:10:35,986 --> 00:10:39,863 these strangers and their words became lifelines, 193 00:10:39,887 --> 00:10:42,743 dispatches from people of so many different backgrounds, 194 00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:44,741 with so many different experiences, 195 00:10:44,765 --> 00:10:46,792 all showing me the same thing: 196 00:10:49,250 --> 00:10:51,909 you can be held hostage 197 00:10:51,933 --> 00:10:54,917 by the worst thing that's ever happened to you 198 00:10:54,941 --> 00:10:58,347 and allow it to hijack your remaining days, 199 00:10:58,371 --> 00:11:01,243 or you can find a way forward. 200 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:06,783 I knew I needed to make some kind of change. 201 00:11:06,807 --> 00:11:09,698 I wanted to be in motion again 202 00:11:09,722 --> 00:11:14,416 to figure out how to unstuck myself and to get back out into the world. 203 00:11:14,918 --> 00:11:19,124 And so I decided to go on a real journey -- 204 00:11:19,791 --> 00:11:22,997 not the bullshit cancer one 205 00:11:23,021 --> 00:11:26,237 or the mythical hero's journey that everyone thought I should be on, 206 00:11:26,261 --> 00:11:29,482 but a real, pack-your-bags kind of journey. 207 00:11:30,586 --> 00:11:34,138 I put everything I owned into storage, 208 00:11:35,621 --> 00:11:38,600 rented out my apartment, borrowed a car 209 00:11:38,624 --> 00:11:43,683 and talked a very a dear but somewhat smelly friend 210 00:11:43,707 --> 00:11:44,866 into joining me. 211 00:11:44,890 --> 00:11:47,342 (Laughter) 212 00:11:47,366 --> 00:11:52,917 Together, my dog Oscar and I embarked on a 15,000-mile road trip 213 00:11:52,941 --> 00:11:54,512 around the United States. 214 00:11:55,175 --> 00:12:00,080 Along the way, we visited some of those strangers who'd written to me. 215 00:12:00,826 --> 00:12:02,381 I needed their advice, 216 00:12:02,405 --> 00:12:04,624 also to say to them, thank you. 217 00:12:05,276 --> 00:12:10,196 I went to Ohio and stayed with Howard, the retired professor. 218 00:12:11,085 --> 00:12:14,226 When you've suffered a loss or a trauma, 219 00:12:14,250 --> 00:12:16,680 the impulse can be to guard your heart. 220 00:12:17,069 --> 00:12:21,300 But Howard urged me to open myself up to uncertainty, 221 00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:25,884 to the possibilities of new love, new loss. 222 00:12:26,561 --> 00:12:29,371 Howard will never be cured of illness. 223 00:12:29,395 --> 00:12:32,641 And as a young man, he had no way of predicting how long he'd live. 224 00:12:32,665 --> 00:12:35,490 But that didn't stop him from getting married. 225 00:12:35,839 --> 00:12:37,783 Howard has grandkids now, 226 00:12:37,807 --> 00:12:41,370 and takes weekly ballroom dancing lessons with his wife. 227 00:12:41,807 --> 00:12:43,125 When I visited them, 228 00:12:43,149 --> 00:12:46,782 they’d recently celebrated their 50th anniversary. 229 00:12:47,815 --> 00:12:50,323 In his letter to me, he'd written, 230 00:12:50,347 --> 00:12:53,252 "Meaning is not found in the material realm; 231 00:12:53,276 --> 00:12:57,363 it's not in dinner, jazz, cocktails or conversation. 232 00:12:57,387 --> 00:13:01,459 Meaning is what's left when everything else is stripped away." 233 00:13:02,753 --> 00:13:07,326 I went to Texas, and I visited Little GQ on death row. 234 00:13:07,999 --> 00:13:11,352 He asked me what I did to pass all that time 235 00:13:11,376 --> 00:13:13,497 I'd spent in a hospital room. 236 00:13:14,355 --> 00:13:18,585 When I told him that I got really, really good at Scrabble, 237 00:13:18,609 --> 00:13:22,035 he said, "Me, too!" and explained how, 238 00:13:22,059 --> 00:13:25,398 even though he spends most of his days in solitary confinement, 239 00:13:25,422 --> 00:13:29,427 he and his neighboring prisoners make board games out of paper 240 00:13:29,451 --> 00:13:32,412 and call out their plays through their meal slots -- 241 00:13:33,474 --> 00:13:39,379 a testament to the incredible tenacity of the human spirit 242 00:13:39,403 --> 00:13:43,025 and our ability to adapt with creativity. 243 00:13:44,426 --> 00:13:46,362 And my last stop was in Florida, 244 00:13:46,386 --> 00:13:49,873 to see that teenage girl who'd sent me all those emojis. 245 00:13:50,585 --> 00:13:53,727 Her name is Unique, which is perfect, 246 00:13:53,751 --> 00:13:57,919 because she's the most luminous, curious person I've ever met. 247 00:13:58,831 --> 00:14:01,761 I asked her what she wants to do next and she said, 248 00:14:01,785 --> 00:14:03,674 "I want to go to college and travel 249 00:14:03,698 --> 00:14:06,831 and eat weird foods like octopus that I've never tasted before 250 00:14:06,855 --> 00:14:08,375 and come visit you in New York 251 00:14:08,399 --> 00:14:10,303 and go camping, but I'm scared of bugs, 252 00:14:10,327 --> 00:14:12,047 but I still want to go camping." 253 00:14:13,768 --> 00:14:16,196 I was in awe of her, 254 00:14:16,220 --> 00:14:21,490 that she could be so optimistic and so full of plans for the future, 255 00:14:21,514 --> 00:14:23,431 given everything she'd been through. 256 00:14:24,180 --> 00:14:25,855 But as Unique showed me, 257 00:14:25,879 --> 00:14:30,736 it is far more radical and dangerous to have hope 258 00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:32,826 than to live hemmed in by fear. 259 00:14:34,699 --> 00:14:39,080 But the most important thing I learned on that road trip 260 00:14:39,104 --> 00:14:43,283 is that the divide between the sick and the well -- 261 00:14:43,307 --> 00:14:44,680 it doesn't exist. 262 00:14:45,149 --> 00:14:47,275 The border is porous. 263 00:14:47,585 --> 00:14:49,950 As we live longer and longer, 264 00:14:49,974 --> 00:14:53,831 surviving illnesses and injuries that would have killed our grandparents, 265 00:14:53,855 --> 00:14:55,180 even our parents, 266 00:14:55,204 --> 00:14:59,932 the vast majority of us will travel back and forth between these realms, 267 00:14:59,956 --> 00:15:03,353 spending much of our lives somewhere between the two. 268 00:15:04,059 --> 00:15:07,162 These are the terms of our existence. 269 00:15:08,228 --> 00:15:12,426 Now, I wish I could say that since coming home from my road trip, 270 00:15:12,450 --> 00:15:14,577 I feel fully healed. 271 00:15:14,601 --> 00:15:15,751 I don't. 272 00:15:16,601 --> 00:15:19,227 But once I stopped expecting myself 273 00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:23,229 to return to the person I'd been pre-diagnosis, 274 00:15:23,253 --> 00:15:28,357 once I learned to accept my body and its limitations, 275 00:15:28,381 --> 00:15:30,613 I actually did start to feel better. 276 00:15:31,405 --> 00:15:35,254 And in the end, I think that's the trick: 277 00:15:35,278 --> 00:15:38,798 to stop seeing our health as binary, 278 00:15:38,822 --> 00:15:40,509 between sick and healthy, 279 00:15:40,533 --> 00:15:42,036 well and unwell, 280 00:15:42,060 --> 00:15:43,758 whole and broken; 281 00:15:43,782 --> 00:15:48,222 to stop thinking that there's some beautiful, perfect state of wellness 282 00:15:48,246 --> 00:15:49,788 to strive for; 283 00:15:49,812 --> 00:15:53,695 and to quit living in a state of constant dissatisfaction 284 00:15:53,719 --> 00:15:55,065 until we reach it. 285 00:15:56,605 --> 00:16:02,344 Every single one of us will have our life interrupted, 286 00:16:02,368 --> 00:16:04,574 whether it's by the rip cord of a diagnosis 287 00:16:04,598 --> 00:16:09,038 or some other kind of heartbreak or trauma that brings us to the floor. 288 00:16:10,384 --> 00:16:15,522 We need to find ways to live in the in-between place, 289 00:16:15,546 --> 00:16:19,665 managing whatever body and mind we currently have. 290 00:16:20,776 --> 00:16:27,406 Sometimes, all it takes is the ingenuity of a handmade game of Scrabble 291 00:16:27,430 --> 00:16:31,652 or finding that stripped-down kind of meaning in the love of family 292 00:16:31,676 --> 00:16:34,268 and a night on the ballroom dance floor, 293 00:16:34,292 --> 00:16:37,212 or that radical, dangerous hope 294 00:16:37,236 --> 00:16:41,357 that I'm guessing will someday lead a teenage girl terrified of bugs 295 00:16:41,381 --> 00:16:42,531 to go camping. 296 00:16:43,832 --> 00:16:45,697 If you're able to do that, 297 00:16:45,721 --> 00:16:49,641 then you've taken the real hero's journey. 298 00:16:49,665 --> 00:16:54,045 You've achieved what it means to actually be well, 299 00:16:54,069 --> 00:17:00,730 which is to say: alive, in the messiest, richest, most whole sense. 300 00:17:01,173 --> 00:17:02,923 Thank you, that's all I've got. 301 00:17:02,947 --> 00:17:05,709 (Applause) 302 00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:06,889 Thank you. 303 00:17:06,913 --> 00:17:10,095 (Applause)