[Please also translate the title of the video in the notes if possible. There is a limit for 100 characters for a title. If translating, let me know if you would like to be credited somehow in the video on YouTube This is the last of our forum series; last week was the last of the discussions
Inge's birthday intervened tonight, so it looks as if the way things have started off, there isn't going to be any very serious discussing
Maybe I can use the opportunity to now find out some of the answers to some questions I've been wanting to ask you for a long time
But I wish before we go any further, you would please put those country signs back where they belong, will you?
You're going to confuse everybody
[chatter]
Are you all sorted out? Egypt, you're upside down
The first thing I want to know is have you picked up any bad habits since you've been here?
Oh yeah
We like rock and roll
What? you like rock and roll?
...chewing gum...slang...
Yes, Raul?
lack of sleep
lack of sleep? Has it gotten to be a habit?
it is, yeah
what else, yes?
all of us become gone crazy [? unintelligible]
riding cars all the time and never walking
never walking? you're going to walk more at home? ... Yoriko?
I learned the "jitterbug"
[crosstalk]
eating too much?
many of us put on weight!
how many pounds did you put on?
14 pounds! ... 17 pounds!
17 pounds? ... Yes, Farouk?
I took off my moustache
i thought you didn't look familiar, how about Amin from Pakistan?
i'm not going to take it off!
Yes, Gladys?
I learned to say "isn't that's wonderful?" even if it's not wonderful
Farouk?
double dates with girls
by the way, it says no single dates in the rules...How many of you have had dates?
None!
just glad to know, it's all right
now tell me, you've all traveled sometimes for the first time in your life to come to America
What's the next country anybody wants to see, and has your association with anybody in the forum group influenced your decision? Jay?
I want to live in Australia. I had made up my mind before I came here because there's lots of scope, there I thinks
yeah, but Liz just confirmed your opinion
She did
Where do you want to go, Nene?
I want to go to Israel!
this is a private forum joke that we won't share... Chris?
I want to go to France. People in the north always want to go to the south. And it's partly Gina, but not all of it
well, what's the country most of you want to go to?
[crosstalk] france... scandinavia... russia... india...
Zohar wants to go to the Arab countries, you've never been of course?
no
how soon do you think you'll get to go?
when she's married to Farouk
any others?
why didn't we accept the invitation from the Soviet Union?
i hope we can
we would like to
I hope we can, and as you know we hope there will be a student from the Soviet Union in the forum group next year
we asked them this year and they didn't send one, but the invitation will be repeated and we hope one will come
I hope it's a girl!
is it fair to ask you what is the most fun you've had in these three months?
[crosstalk]
party in Washington
oh that costume party?
oh yeah, i think everybody will look back on that as one of the grandest things
well now, to get a little more serious for a moment, what are you looking forward to most as you go home? what's the thing you're most looking forward to?
[crosstalk] sleep ... mom and dad ... to make up the three months we have lost here - no, no!
well i bought a nice american suit which is woolen, and the Gold Coast is very hot and it will be very hard for me to put it on, but i like to put it on
just to show the american suit? what else? [crosstalk]
water, Mrs. Waller, I didn't drink water at all here
yeah, drinking milk all the while
I'm looking forward to swimming in the sea again
telling people what we saw here and how much we enjoyed it
how many of you have definite plans when you get home, to do something in the way of telling people in your country about your three months here? Yes, Inge?
I have some assignments and lectures to deliver at different clubs and things
who else? Yes, Thailand?
I have to write an article for the school yearbook, and I have to [unintelligible]
I have to write some articles too and go to the broadcasting house and broadcast to people in Nigeria
yes, Korea?
I have to make speeches around the country
all the students in my school are anxious to hear some speeches about the United States
you say that people here ask you too much, "how do you like America?". I'll bet the first question you'll get when you get home is, "how did you like America?"
"wonderful!"
that was the first question here too
what have you learned during these three months, aside from having fun? Did anybody learning anything?
yes ... a lot of slang ... [crosstalk]
have you learned anything, Jay?
oh yeah, to dance the rock and roll in a mad fashion with no steps at all!
I can't get you serious
[crosstalk] blowing bubble gum!
I have one thing serious here. it has been profitable to me for discovering myself. I have got more self-confidence since I came here
and i have learned to do things all on my own, instead of being having to be spurred on by someone else
i wonder why that happened here?
see in my country the youngsters are not looked upon too much... as Chris told you at the forum, the youngsters there - they're just to be seen and not heard
so anything I want to do, I have to get an elder to do for me
so as a result, when I came here I found that we are always in the limelight and [unintelligible] acting big, so I've learned how much i know about myself
I wonder if any of the rest of you are going to have that problem when you get home? Chris?
well, I think what I learned was the danger of generalizing
I always fear if that if I write a letter home and I say anything, that people will say "this is america, and we can guarantee that this is how it is"
and I always said please don't take it too serious, or please don't take it as a guarantee, this it's just one of my impressions. we all, i think, have realized we can't generalize
good point. Francesco?
well i learned that intelligence is a gift like beauty - is nothing to be proud of... So now I respect even the stupid people!
what else has anybody learned?
I think I learned about the rest of the world when I came here. I think that before I was so selfish, I didn't know anything about all the other countries
I think that's why when I come home I will try to learn
I'm glad you learned that in America. Farouk?
You can say I absolutely changed. I was very bashful before I came here, but now i absolutely changed!
Nene?
before I came here I never knew that we were the same. But now I feel that we are basically the same, but different
Yes, Iran?
being the problem child, I learned that some people disagree with me sometimes
I learned that there are the small countries in the world, who should also count in the world. I'm in a very big country you know, India, I'm not used to seeing these countries as equals
very nice to hear this from India, isn't it? Genevieve?
i got to know my country and consider it's problems with new eyes
any in particular?
Yes, the North African problem especially
did you learn more about it here?
Oh yes, definitely... I didn't know anything before I came here
I didn't have any idea about the commonwealth really, until I was "attacked" by certain members of it
What have you learned about the commonwealth, Judith, that you didn't know?
oh, well, in a way that um... i think most of the members here like to belong to the commonwealth
And I don't think most English people realize how large it is... I don't think we realize that these people all over the world speak English, for example, better than we do in some cases
I think Chit speaks English better than I do
Yes, Farouk?
I also learned a lot about my country, not only the United States, because I had to prepare for the questions the students asked me in the morning
so i had to read a lot of books about Egypt and this. So [I learned] not only the United States, but about Egypt too
Which opinions that you had about America when you arrived have, have changed the most?
Yeah?
I thought that the people in the United States don't have any troubles at all but, I realized that they have their own problems too, very serious problems which they're trying to solve
I thought that there was no problem and the people are just living luxuriously and comfortably and thinking of nothing
We have problems. Yes?
In Ceylon, we all think that all the girls are like Marilyn Monroe, but I find it's wrong
You've been disillusioned, have you Jay?
Oh yeah, very much
Can i ask you this, what one thing do your people possess that Americans don't have?
And that you would like to give us if you had the opportunity of making gifts of this order? Johan?
balance between culture and material wealth
Do you want to explain that a little more?
well it seems here that there isn't that balance that will make the society work as smoothly as it ought to be
there it's something wrong, I mean people have too much material wealth, but too little culturally
I just feel that there is something missing
Is that idea as strong now as it was when you came? I know you Scandinavians are always critical
No, it isn't as strong as it was when I came. I've been convinced pretty much to the contrary, but I still believe that the balance hasn't been achieved yet
Yes, Chit?
The population of India. We have plenty of it and would like to give some away
Italy?
I think that we can give to you some sense of criticism. I think that in Italy everyone thinks he's much better than the prime minister, all the time
But Americans respect Eisenhower, that's the difference
You don't think we're critical enough? Do you mean just of our political leaders?
No, I mean in general. You think that everything is good. You want to try to be understanding, you see?
Nene?
Well, I think happiness
Happiness? Thank you, I wish we could have yours. Chris?
I think just a little individualism. Here there's the stress on being popular, and being in a group
I think our countries, Europe at least, there's a little more the stress on being alone
you know, the power of assimilation of this country is fantastic. Looking at you now, and looking at you three months ago, I know what's going to happen when we get to Berlin next week
The same thing that happened when we went to London last year
Here were people from 33 countries sitting on the platform, and I thought, "such individuals, each one"
And the reaction in the Manchester Guardian was:
"these people were so similar in their casual American dress, their alert haircuts, and their complete self-confidence in a room full of strangers asking difficult questions"
That's a kind of British humor, I think
I was just going to say, that the one thing I think we can give to America, is the gift of laughing at ourselves
and at the Manchester Guardian
Yes, Liz from Australia?
Mrs. Waller, I heard someone answer that question, that there's one thing America hasn't got enough of, and that's parking space
Must've been a New Yorker, out in the broad plains of the west we've got plenty
I think they must be more respectful to their elders
More respectful to their elders? You're still firm in that conviction?
Yeah
Are you going to be just as respectful of yours when you go home as you were when you left?
There's quite a great difference between mine and yours
but different in what way? You say yours is going to be the same...
Here the relationship between parents, elders and children is very very free
Now seriously, what do we miss out on... the young people here, by not having that same pattern of respect?
for instance, speaking loudly in front of their elders, and laughing, and combing legs [?] and sometimes smoking cigarettes in front of their elders... It's ridiculous
Mohammed, what would you say on this?
I think all this springs out of the informality the Americans have
we are very formal in Nigeria, and the type of respect, how to behave towards your elder, how to behave towards your father, it is all set down, it's like a book
You've got to follow that pattern, otherwise you're thought of as impolite
But what I'm reaching for is the idea of what you think we miss, that is our young people, because we don't have that same kind of respect?
you can't learn from somebody you don't respect, and I don't see why youngsters should make the same mistakes as their parents, if the parents can teach them
and if you don't have respect for them, you can't learn from them, and you'll just have to pass through the same things yourself, and it's a waste
but do you see it in the adult population in America?
What?
Well, the fact that if as children they didn't learn as much from their parents and teachers as you learned from yours?
I'm sorry I don't understand the question
Well, yes, Chris?
I think that what America is missing with the younger generation is family life, very often
I was with my one of my hosts here, who was very astonished when I told him that we'd read "War and Peace" at the family table in the evening. He just couldn't understand it
Besides that, I think this has changed very much, as Americans say so themselves. All the parents told me that they have been brought up in quite a different way from that of their children. That's what they say at least
Nesbit?
Well, I'm very sorry to disagree with all of you, but I really admire the informal nature of Americans
Because in this way the children have more independent thinking, while one of the disadvantages, or rather handicaps that I had was that I was guided by my parents to do this, do that, so I didn't get the chance to think
Now since I arrived here I was quite independent and argumentative of course, and one of the topics on which we argue was, "who shall have the car tonight?" with my host, and this way I have developed a little power of thinking
Are your parents going to like that when you get home?
Well, they will have to adjust themselves to the situation
Yes, Inge?
Isn't it better that your parents guide you towards a good way of thinking and behaving?
Isn't that better than kids doing their thinking on their own and then doing some bad thinking or acting or whatever? I think a bit of guidance in the beginnings can only be good
What were you going to say, Yolanda?
Well, I think that the children miss their childhood... because they don't live their childhood, Mrs. Waller
They become adults and teenagers before it's time I think
They seem to grow up too soon? Wait a minute... Anis from Pakistan
Children are given too much of freedom, and then of course they cannot decide for themselves because the child as you know doesn't know the correct use of freedom
But too much of it of course, too much control on the part of the parents over the children will destroy their initiative. So I think we must find somewhat of an average between the two extremes
Genevieve, you had a good idea the other day when you said in one of our discussions, "freedom has no value if it has no limits"... Remember?
[unintelligible]
Oh, wait a minute. Paco?
Well, ma'am, Yolanda from Guatemala said that the teenagers didn't have any childhood
Well, they might not have any childhood and they might reach adolescence too soon, but they stay in there too soon, I really think that they stay in it too soon
You mean stay in it too long?
Yeah, they keep them as teenagers too long. I don't think they are aware of their responsibilities or are more conscious (as soon as) in some of the other countries, I don't think so, ma'am
You'll get an argument on that. Wait a minute, Chris?
Well I don't want to argue this, but I think the independence of each group, of each generation over here is probably a reason why we could adjust ourselves so fast over here
People were so informal and so ready to welcome us, and they said "Well if ever you want a Coke, just get one out of the staircase (?)"
And in Europe for instance, what you'd do is you'd have looked very thirsty if you wanted one, and you would hope that other one would have seen it and would have said, "You sure want a Coke, don't you?"
Francesco?
Well I think you get your childhood here when you're an adult
Alright. Nesbit?
There is practically nothing wrong with this freedom that the American children exercise
provided that the parents put them on the honor (trust) system when they are really ready to use it
somebody said that in America the children are the parents and the parents are the children. I think I would somewhat agree with that
For what reason?
Well, mostly inside the family it is the children who control things here. They are the ones who order the parents instead of the parents ordering them
That's an interesting reaction. Raul?
I think Chit has seen more or less the wrong kind of an American family
It's not my fault!
I think American children are just given the right amount of freedom, and I think it's doing good for them
Azer?
Well, though everybody disagrees with this, but I think American children have respect towards their parents
Yes, they treat them as friends, which I think is a much better thing. They may not be so afraid of them as for example we are, but things are changing all over the world
I think maybe that's the biggest answer, things are changing and changing fast. Yoriko, what did you want to say a moment ago?
I think american teenagers seem to be grown-ups, but I think they are not. Because if they don't have any homework in school they don't study anymore
Yes, Jawahir?
I think they should be given a little of corporal punishments
You and Nigeria agree there should be a little corporal punishment. How long since you've had any corporal punishment?
well, in my school we have that all year round
Still? Even at your age?
Not at my age because...
When does it stop?
When you stop being naughty!
It depends on the teacher
In Baldwin high school they still have corporal punishment. If they come late to class they get the paddle
Mohammed, you should have gone to Baldwin!
Look, I want to come back to the original question now. What else have you got in your countries that we don't have, that you would like to give us? Yes, Paco?
I think of traditions and customs, ma'am, I really think
Of course we can't have traditions - we aren't old enough
We're as young as you
[crosstalk]
We're considerably young ourselves. Maybe it was that the Spanish conquerors left a lot of things behind
It could be... Jay?
I think I would like to teach Americans to live a little more. They think they are living, but they're not, they're living in the future always
That is, especially on the Eastern seaboard here, the tempo of life is so fast that they're always looking forward:
"On the 23rd of next month I have a date with so and so", "Next year on such and such, a date I'll graduate"
They know so many things ahead of time, I think so that when it comes they don't appreciate it too much - they've been looking forward to it too long
Have others of you thought the pace of life was too fast here?
Yeah [crosstalk]
My watch is 30 minutes faster!
Romano wants to know if it's a Swiss watch, is it Nene?
Of course a Swiss watch
Azer?
I think many Americans make a lot of money, but they don't enjoy it because they are always in the business of making the money and they never enjoy that money - they never take any of the profit out
There's some disagreement. Inge?
I have a feeling that that you (Americans) are never really satisfied, I mean you're always looking forward to more [unintelligible] rather than satisfied at the present time
It is different in Denmark?
Yeah
What were you saying, Hejun, on that point? That that's progress?
Yes. I think yes
I would say that still, the Gold Coast has something which Americans don't have - that's simplicity of course
[unintelligible]
Yes, Nesbit? You've been trying to get a word in
What America can learn from my country is that in my country we (do) what we say, while in this country you don't usually (do) what you say
I say "not usually"!
Chris?
I think the nice things about America is that Americans are usually frank. It always seems like they're practical, they're not complicated
This philosopher here of ours must have a horrible standpoint among Americans because he's so complicated
Do you think we've gotten his feet down off the clouds any?
No
I feel uneasy, please don't look at me!
I think appreciation of the other man's point of view, which is quite lacking out here
Oh, no!
So many people here hate communists. I think it's very good to hate communism, but you should never hate people
That's one example, can you give us some other examples?
Well that's a very important example
Very. I'm not denying it. But are you generalizing from a single point, can you give us other examples in which it's if we are completely intolerant of any other point of view?
Well, I didn't say you're intolerant, but that you don't appreciate it so much. You let it exist, but you don't appreciate it, you don't try to meet others point of view so much
Azar?
Well, I wish American students wouldn't take their education for granted as they are doing here
Appreciate it a bit more?
Oh yes
Judith, you wanted to disagree a moment ago?
Yes, I want to disagree with Chit. The Americans have this expression, "Oh, all right, I'll go along with you", or "You know I don't thoroughly agree with what you say, but I'll meet you halfway"
I think they do, I mean look at the way we've gone into their classrooms and disagreed on politics, and they've listened and said, "Well yes, I can understand your point of view"
That would hardly ever happen at home, I'm sure! They'd say, "No, you're wrong". Here they...
I don't say that other peoples have it (appreciating other opinions), but Americans should at least
Well, they do have it, I think if you compare they have it more than the lot
Why shouldn't the Indians have it then?
Well they should, everybody should
Christoph?
Well, in America a lot of people like the expression, "take it easy" - and they're taking it easy. You can't be too intolerant when you're taking it easy
I mean there are some things they believe, like democracies is sort of religion in America, and "America" is some sort of religion in America
They'll be be terribly intolerant about that. That is no longer for them a matter of discussion
I think that said you find it awfully hard to hate in this country. Wasn't that you that said that?
Yeah
Now let me ask you... Judy brings up the final question i'd like to ask you
I've been asking what you've got in your countries that you'd like to give us... What are you taking back from America? Material or immaterial
[crosstalk] Yellow shoes... Two bottles of frankfurters... Records... Coca cola
Records? What kind of records?
Dave Brubeck and Jared Mulligan
All the records of the popular songs, because they don't come until six months later in Australia. So I'll be ahead of time, I'll have all the records!
Ballroom dancing
I'm taking so many friends and friendliness of the people, and 5 more families
5 families more, I'm glad to hear that. What else? Yes, Korea?
Ideas of co-education (between boys and girls)
How many of you have been convinced that co-education is a good idea?
That's the best thing!
What else, anything else?
Yes, the happiness and taking it easy of the American people
Yes, but Nene from the Gold Coast says he wanted to give us the happiness they have in the Gold Coast?
[crosstalk]
Wait a minute, let's give Judy a chance. What did you start to say Judith?
I'm just saying that coming over here is terribly unsettling. When we came here I had my mind made up, but now I'm going back more bewildered than ever. But I think it's done me good
It's is a horrible thing looking in the future knowing that sooner or later you're going to change all your opinions
maybe it's a good thing
Well, actually I'll never forget dating. Anyway, i'm going to introduce it in the Gold Coast
We've covered that subject! Yes, Raul?
I'm going to bring back the informality in the American high school classroom
You like that here? Yes?
Well, I disagree completely, entirely, and totally with that. You see, I don't believe that any classroom, any teacher, or any system of education whatsoever disregards friendship in between the student and the teacher
Now one thing is friendship, but another thing is getting wild
And getting wise. You see, for example in Mexico the teachers are friendly and we know each other as pals or something like that. But you don't have that feeling of informality and to a certain extent irresponsibility
Over to Raul
It's more or less on the Spanish side of education, which is in my own opinion - it's brutal. Because I come from a Spanish Catholic school and I've got that experiences
I'm going to be terribly interested in the first letters I receive from you to hear about how your parents have reacted to whatever informality you have taken away from here
Our time's run out. Francesco Riosci from Italy, can you wind up in a a small sentence or two of these three months? Or is that asking you too much?
Well, I think I can do it
I'll tell you, I think that before coming here, I knew all about it;
I knew you were frank, you were a young country with all the advantages and disadvantages. I think I have deepened my my ideas but that's not the point
I knew about the skyscrapers in New York and all that, but now I believe it
I think the passage from knowing to believing it is the main accomplishment of this forum
Thank you. We've got to end here. We're taking off in a very short time, all of us, for a four day conference in Berli
Thank you for being with us. We'll look forward to a similar series next year