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Br. Phap Huu: Good morning,
dear respected Thay,

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dear brothers, dear sisters,
dear friends.

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I hope you had a relaxing
and lazy morning.

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You could sleep in
and feel more rested

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and enjoy the wonderful space
provided for us

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to be in touch with our breath,
with the trees, with the space.

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This is an opportunity
for questions & answers.

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It is a great opportunity
to put into words

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something we may have been
chewing on for a long time.

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But with regards to the practice
of mindfulness and meditation,

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the teachings of Plum Village,
and looking back

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at our way of life,
our happiness, our suffering

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and how to apply the practice
in our daily lives.

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This is an opportunity to ask questions.
We call it "Asking from the heart."

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We tend to come more
towards the intellect,

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but here in Plum Village
we always encourage to ask:

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How do we bring these teachings
into our daily life?

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This is more important to us
than philosophy.

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And we have children with us.
I'm surprised they are here.

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I thought you would
enjoy more laziness.

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It is a wonderful tradition to have
space for the children to ask questions.

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We would like to offer space to the kids
to ask three to four questions.

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A good question can benefit many of us.
It doesn't have to be long.

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It can be clear and simple.

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We have our brother filming the session.

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Please raise your hand if you
prefer not to be on camera

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and our brother will know. He will
focus the camera on the monastics.

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So you can be at ease if you would like
to ask a question, but not be filmed.

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Before we listen to a question,
we will listen to a sound of the bell

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to come back to our breathing,
and then we ask the question.

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So, we would like to invite
the children first.

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If there is a child with a question,
you are welcome to come up

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and sit on this chair and breathe with us.
And then you can ask your question.

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Do any of you have a question?

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We do.

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[sound of the bell]

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Dear community, this is the first
question. Our friend will ask in Italian.

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Giacomo: [Italian] If there is
something that we like to do,

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and we see someone else
do something that we might not like,

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but so many people are doing it,
why do we end up doing that, too?

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Voice offscreen: I will try to translate it
and Giacomo can help me

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if it's not correct, because
you speak English quite well?

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I think the idea is: We know what we want,
what we like to do.

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But then we see others do something
that we don't approve of.

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We don't like what they're doing.

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Why do we end up doing what they're doing
even though we don't like it?

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Br. Phap Huu: Do you need translation?
Giacomo: No, I'm OK.

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Br. Phap Linh: Thank you.
That's a great question.

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We could all ask ourselves that question
at the level of the whole planet.

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Why, when there are things that we know
we don't want to do, or we don't like,

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but we see that society is going that way,
and we end up doing it as well.

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That can happen with a group of friends,
or in a choice of career that we make,

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or how much money we think we need,
where we should live,

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what lifestyle we think we should have.
It's all a similar problem.

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We get pulled into things that
at some level we don't want to do,

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but we find ourselves doing anyway.

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So ... I think the first question
that I would ask.

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You started by saying that we know
what it is that we like to do.

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We know what we want.
I'm not sure that that's true.

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We kind of know.
But do we really know?

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Do we know with the power,
with the strength,

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that would be enough to stop us
from getting pulled into things

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that we don't want to do?

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So we know a little bit.

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But could we make that more clear?

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What is it that we want to do
and what is it we do not want to do?

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That takes contemplation. In a way,
that's what meditation can be for.

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Our teacher used to ask us to go
and quietly sit in the forest

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and ask ourselves:
What is my deepest desire?

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What is the thing that I want most of all?

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Because when we know that really clearly,
it makes it much easier to say No

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when other people are trying
to pull us into something.

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That's the first thing. Do we really know
what it is we do and don't want to do?

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And the second thing is that
there's a competition in us,

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because we like two things:

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We like to do the thing we want to do,
but we also like to be with our friends.

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We like to feel connected to others.

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We like to not stick out,
so that we're not left out of the group.

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If there's a group going one way, a strong
part of us wants to be part of the group.

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Even if they're doing something
we don't really want to do.

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There are two different pulls.
One is: I need to be part of the group.

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I am in danger if I'm not
part of the group.

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That's a very old feeling in our bodies.
For a long time, maybe millions of years,

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if we didn't belong to the group,
we wouldn't be able to survive.

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We would die. So there's a
strong need to be part of the group.

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And when that need is in conflict
with this other part of us that says:

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"I don't want to do what they're doing",
it's difficult.

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It depends which one is stronger.
But it helps just to know that.

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You're here, we're all here. We've heard
about the energy of mindfulness.

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The energy that allows us to be aware
what's going on inside and around us.

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That is the capacity to recognise:
"I want to be part of the group."

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When you can see and recognise it,
you also have a bit more freedom.

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You can say: "I hear you. I hear
the part of me that wants to jump in,

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but I can also say No thank you."

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Sometimes in a group,
when there's one person that says:

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" No. Actually, I don't want to do that."

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Then maybe there's two or three
or four other people in the group

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who also feel uncomfortable.
Once that one person has said no,

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they can also say: "Actually,
I also don't want to do that."

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And suddenly, the whole group
can change direction

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because one person had the
freedom and the courage to say No.

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So if you know how to generate
the energy of mindfulness, ...

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It's like you are watching
what's happening around you,

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but a part of you is watching
what is happening inside of you.

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It's like you have an eye tracking:
"I want to jump in,

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but I also don't feel comfortable
with what we're doing."

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And then you get to choose.

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Because otherwise you jump in
before you even know.

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It just happens, and then later,
maybe a day, maybe a week later,

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you realize you didn't want to do that.
But with the energy of mindfulness,

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you have more time,
you have more freedom to choose.

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And then maybe many other people
in the group will thank you later

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because they also didn't want to do that.

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And thanks to you,
they had the choice to say No.

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Maybe as a society we're a bit like that.

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We rely on a few people with the strength
and awareness to say no to the current

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that is taking us in the direction
of destroying the planet

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and causing suffering to each other.

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Maybe if a few of us can see us and say:
"We don't want to go that way",

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then others can get to also say No
and go a different way.

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Thank you for your question.

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[sound of the bell]

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Girl: (French) Do plants
have a nervous system?

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For example if you snap a twig,
are you hurting the tree?

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Br. Phap Linh: Do the plants
have a nervous system?

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For example if you break a branch,
does it hurt the plant?

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Br. Phap Huu: The quickest answer
is "Oui" - yes.

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Br. Phap Linh: I can add a little bit.

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I would say the answer is yes and no.

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Because they don't exactly
have a nervous system like ours.

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There's no central brain where
all the nerve impulses arrive.

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It's been a question in science
for a long time.

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And most scientists have said:
"No, plants don't feel anything."

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But it's changing. So in recent years,
there are a few scientists

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finding evidence to say that plants
do feel and we still don't know how.

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But we know that there are electrical
signals passed through the plant cells -

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all cells are electrical in nature,
just like nerve cells.

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They're not exactly like brain cells,

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but they are similar enough
that there is a Spanish scientist

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who really believes, and has good
evidence to show, that plants can feel.

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One of the ways they can test this
is by using anaesthesia.

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If you have to go to a hospital
to have surgery,

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they give you an injection or a gas
that makes you fall asleep,

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so you don't feel any pain.

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For a long time, everybody thought
that only works on humans and animals.

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But plants respond to anaesthesia
in very much the same way,

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to being put to sleep.

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This is all very new research.
You ask a very good question.

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You could make
a whole career as a scientist

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out of trying to answer that question.

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But that's answering
at the level of the head.

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There's also an answer
at the level of the heart.

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It's the answer that Thay Phap Huu gave

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and it's the answer you already know.

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We don't feel comfortable
to break a plant for no reason.

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We feel like maybe we should
respect them a little bit more.

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We should care for them
a little bit better.

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Maybe we should not be so sure
that it is only us who can feel things.

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If we're very sure,
we can cause a lot of harm

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we can be very careless.

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But if we're not sure,
if there's a part of us wondering:

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"Will the tree feel it
if I break the branch?"

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that little space of openness, of
"I don't know, maybe the tree can feel it"

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can make us more careful.

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Not only as individuals,
but collectively as a species.

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There's an awakening happening
in the whole of society.

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There are more and more people
waking up to the suffering

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that we are maybe causing to
not just the animals that we kill to eat,

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but also to the trees that we cut to
build houses, like this meditation hall,

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the paper that we use in the toilet,
or to write on.

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Maybe it is impossible to live completely
without hurting anything.

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It's actually really hard.

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But maybe there's a way to live
where we cause as little harm as possible.

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We try to do less damage.
Maybe we can't do no damage.

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But I'm sure we can do less damage.

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Thank you for your question.

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Br. Phap Huu: One more question
from the children sangha.

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If there are no more questions
from the children sangha,

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you are welcome to stay or
you are welcome to go out and play.

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I was told there's no children program,
but there's a lot of space.

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So feel free.

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And now we'd like to offer space
for the bigger children.

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if you have questions from the heart,
you are welcome to come up

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just like the children to ask
your questions to all of us adults.

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[sound of the bell]

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Woman: Okay. I'm nervous.
Lots of people.

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It's a question I've had
in my head for some months.

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It's about how to handle
the suffering that is attached

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to a mental formation that has its
beginning somewhere during childhood,

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something traumatic that happened.

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Because it's different to handle emotions

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that come back in a never-ending circle,

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or an emotion that comes from something
that happens in a moment and goes away.

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I'd like a little advice how to do it.

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It confuses me
to learn something

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that helps me to always be happy or be at peace

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but without wanting that the pain
goes away. It's like a contradiction:

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How to embrace it without getting
caught in it, or holding it back.

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The concrete question is:

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How can I see when something that comes up

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needs to be embraced, or I can just
let it go and focus on something else,

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or how can I see the point
where I'm holding it back?

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This difference where I'm embracing it
or where I'm getting stuck on it.

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How to let it go without
it wanting to let go.

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I hope you understand it.

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Br. Phap Huu: Thank you for your question.

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I will share from my own experience
as a practitioner.

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First of all, we have to understand that
meditation is not to get rid of feelings.

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We don't practice it to have a single
field of emotions that we feel is us.

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But meditation, mindfulness,
is the ability to stop,

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to recognise what is happening,
what is present.

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Name it. To identify it.
To call it by its name.

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And that is acceptance.

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For me, a good word that I use,
particularly with emotions

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and feelings that are very linked
to childhood and experiences,

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is to befriend it.
To befriend that emotion, that feeling.

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We can have a natural reaction, like
trying to get rid of it, or run from it.

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I've run away from particular
emotions for a very long time.

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Like you shared in your question,
it doesn't go away.

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The word that we use
in our training is 'transformation'.

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We can transform a seed, a feeling
that we have experienced

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into another feeling.

223
00:27:29,942 --> 00:27:33,275
Inviting another feeling
to embrace and take care.

224
00:27:33,817 --> 00:27:41,733
Mindfulness is an energy
that we can cultivate

225
00:27:43,358 --> 00:27:47,900
to befriend these emotions.

226
00:27:50,150 --> 00:27:56,442
The practice of our arriving
in every moment is the present moment.

227
00:27:57,983 --> 00:28:03,317
The present moment
is the place where life truly is.

228
00:28:04,692 --> 00:28:12,067
Where we can invite that emotion
to be present, to embrace it

229
00:28:12,650 --> 00:28:15,692
with our present moment of who you are.

230
00:28:17,608 --> 00:28:22,067
I can say that all of us have suffered.

231
00:28:23,525 --> 00:28:30,900
Suffering is a noble truth.
We all can understand suffering.

232
00:28:32,025 --> 00:28:36,400
It can make us relate to one another.

233
00:28:37,692 --> 00:28:45,692
Suffering can also be a prison.
We can be attached to our suffering.

234
00:28:47,192 --> 00:28:54,983
And the suffering we tend to be
attached to might not be the feeling,

235
00:28:55,608 --> 00:28:57,608
but it's the story.

236
00:28:59,567 --> 00:29:09,942
Every time that emotion, that feeling,
comes up, that story is recalled.

237
00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:18,116
Our practice is to identify the story.
Recognise the story, embrace it,

238
00:29:18,184 --> 00:29:26,858
but have the mindfulness of this present
moment that I am not in that situation.

239
00:29:27,900 --> 00:29:30,192
I am a new me today.

240
00:29:31,567 --> 00:29:36,525
This new me has the ability to embrace.

241
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:45,567
To recognise. And to tell the child
that was wounded inside:

242
00:29:46,692 --> 00:29:52,650
"Yes, I have suffered,
I have experienced such pain.

243
00:29:54,025 --> 00:30:03,108
But in this present moment, I have
other energies that I can cultivate."

244
00:30:05,025 --> 00:30:12,608
Love for oneself. Compassion.
Courage. Solidity.

245
00:30:15,317 --> 00:30:20,275
In this present moment,
by embracing this pain,

246
00:30:22,608 --> 00:30:25,400
we don't just get lost in this story.

247
00:30:25,900 --> 00:30:32,692
It's like when we've been slapped.
We're not being slapped again.

248
00:30:34,275 --> 00:30:40,025
But this time we are aware of that pain
and we are telling ourselves

249
00:30:40,608 --> 00:30:45,067
that in that moment,
I'm cultivating something new.

250
00:30:45,567 --> 00:30:50,567
So you are healing the child.
You are transforming it

251
00:30:51,108 --> 00:30:55,067
to live, deeply, this present moment.

252
00:30:56,400 --> 00:31:04,275
And this is the work of transformation
for the samsara, the cycle.

253
00:31:06,317 --> 00:31:09,650
To have an opportunity to stop.

254
00:31:13,983 --> 00:31:22,525
On a personal note:
I've practised for more than 20 years.

255
00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:30,192
Fear is a seed that is still
very present in me.

256
00:31:33,525 --> 00:31:39,692
In particular situations, maybe if
I meet somebody who reminds me

257
00:31:40,608 --> 00:31:45,692
of someone who offered
a lot of pain to me,

258
00:31:47,067 --> 00:31:50,567
that seed of fear gets watered.

259
00:31:52,275 --> 00:31:56,442
But now as a practitioner,
I'm not afraid.

260
00:31:57,317 --> 00:31:59,233
I can become aware of my body.

261
00:31:59,816 --> 00:32:06,483
Your body will have a reaction
to the fear that is channeled.

262
00:32:07,112 --> 00:32:10,525
The first place of mindfulness
is the body.

263
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:13,858
I come back, I recognise the fear.

264
00:32:14,567 --> 00:32:18,233
I know exactly where
the reaction is coming from.

265
00:32:18,608 --> 00:32:22,525
I bring my mindfulness
to those body parts.

266
00:32:23,525 --> 00:32:27,400
I calm the nervous system
with mindful breathing,

267
00:32:28,108 --> 00:32:31,166
or with total relaxation.

268
00:32:32,095 --> 00:32:36,630
And in this moment
of recognising the seed of fear,

269
00:32:37,404 --> 00:32:43,155
I tell myself: "Phap Huu, don't be afraid.

270
00:32:43,863 --> 00:32:47,650
You're much more than that emotion."

271
00:32:48,608 --> 00:32:51,025
You have many other wonderful emotions.

272
00:32:51,650 --> 00:32:58,233
I call up the other emotions.
I have confidence in my practice.

273
00:32:59,858 --> 00:33:02,983
I know how to breathe.
Nobody can take that away.

274
00:33:04,733 --> 00:33:06,733
I know how to be present.

275
00:33:07,192 --> 00:33:12,067
I have learned to recognise
how to be myself.

276
00:33:12,733 --> 00:33:14,608
To be with my loved ones.

277
00:33:14,942 --> 00:33:17,067
I know how to do it.

278
00:33:17,442 --> 00:33:22,483
Mindfulness is also remembering.
Remembering how to.

279
00:33:22,983 --> 00:33:27,192
How to be in the moment
where you can be solid.

280
00:33:29,199 --> 00:33:32,900
So our practise of this present moment

281
00:33:35,192 --> 00:33:39,483
is training to take care
and to heal the wounds.

282
00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:44,733
As a mindfulness practitioner,

283
00:33:46,483 --> 00:33:54,775
we have to have the ability to know
when it's enough to be with suffering.

284
00:33:56,317 --> 00:34:00,567
We can be very ambitious
as a practitioner.

285
00:34:01,483 --> 00:34:05,358
"The monks, the nuns,
are telling me to recognise my suffering.

286
00:34:06,233 --> 00:34:09,025
OK, I see it. And now
I want to transform it all."

287
00:34:10,817 --> 00:34:13,400
Don't do that. It's a dark hole.

288
00:34:15,150 --> 00:34:18,650
Be generous and patient with yourself.

289
00:34:19,483 --> 00:34:26,358
For us, the practise is a path
of transformation. It takes time.

290
00:34:28,858 --> 00:34:36,525
We have to develop the joy and
the happiness in the present moment.

291
00:34:37,358 --> 00:34:42,192
To also let the wounded child know
that you have the ability

292
00:34:43,775 --> 00:34:46,650
to live happily in this present moment.

293
00:34:48,067 --> 00:34:52,150
This doesn't mean
"to have something to be happy".

294
00:34:53,192 --> 00:34:58,150
But in this moment, I am present.
I still have the ability to recognise

295
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:02,858
the simple joy, the wonderful
conditions that are there.

296
00:35:04,150 --> 00:35:06,942
Recognising pain is a happy condition.

297
00:35:08,192 --> 00:35:10,483
Knowing what to do,
what not to do.

298
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:15,608
I hope that helps. Thank you.

299
00:35:20,108 --> 00:35:22,150
Woman: Can I say one more thing?

300
00:35:23,067 --> 00:35:30,817
So it's important not to identify
with the emotion, or with this thing.

301
00:35:33,942 --> 00:35:36,567
I understand it.

302
00:35:38,567 --> 00:35:44,650
And to know that I can decide
when I look at it and when not.

303
00:35:45,733 --> 00:35:52,233
Because it really was like you said.
I thought: "Let's look at it" for years.

304
00:36:00,025 --> 00:36:03,067
Br. Phap Huu: Yes and no.

305
00:36:05,983 --> 00:36:12,150
To not be caught and
just identify as one emotion.

306
00:36:13,609 --> 00:36:16,608
As one past story.

307
00:36:18,442 --> 00:36:21,067
Because we are
a continuous stream of life.

308
00:36:21,733 --> 00:36:29,192
If we are just caught in one story,
we'll become a victim of the story forever

309
00:36:31,358 --> 00:36:38,233
But our practise is to identify:
"Yes, in this moment, I am angry."

310
00:36:40,317 --> 00:36:42,358
"That is just one emotion, though."

311
00:36:42,733 --> 00:36:50,525
In this moment, I can invite
and invoke other energies.

312
00:36:51,025 --> 00:36:54,233
And therefore, you are
more than that emotion.

313
00:36:55,025 --> 00:37:02,071
I've done this myself:

314
00:37:02,095 --> 00:37:06,858
Feel very entangled
in an emotion, in a story.

315
00:37:07,442 --> 00:37:09,817
And I see myself as just that.

316
00:37:11,442 --> 00:37:14,650
But our mindfulness
of coming home to oneself,

317
00:37:15,608 --> 00:37:18,192
we know we are much more than just that.

318
00:37:19,525 --> 00:37:22,858
We are a continuation of our ancestors.

319
00:37:24,025 --> 00:37:26,817
We are a continuation of this earth.

320
00:37:27,317 --> 00:37:29,983
Sometimes, I take refuge
in land ancestors.

321
00:37:31,442 --> 00:37:34,275
I am much more than just this suffering.

322
00:37:35,983 --> 00:37:40,405
But also to own our suffering,

323
00:37:40,429 --> 00:37:44,275
and be responsible to transform it.

324
00:37:45,025 --> 00:37:49,900
'Cause I've met people, sorry,
I'm going on a little bit long.

325
00:37:51,733 --> 00:37:55,983
I've met people who've become
very attached to their suffering.

326
00:37:57,525 --> 00:38:02,108
And that suffering
becomes a way to blame life.

327
00:38:04,150 --> 00:38:06,442
And using that as an excuse.

328
00:38:06,983 --> 00:38:11,150
And our teacher shared with us
that we all have the right to suffer.

329
00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:20,525
But it is our responsibility to
transform it. This is it. Thank you.

330
00:38:56,052 --> 00:39:02,900
[sound of the bell]

331
00:39:29,358 --> 00:39:34,817
Paolo: This matter about gardening
and nourishing our seeds.

332
00:39:38,025 --> 00:39:44,942
Help me to understand and to cope,
I would say, with my inconsistency.

333
00:39:46,233 --> 00:39:55,108
Having both grown, beautifully,
my seeds of generosity, and greed.

334
00:39:56,817 --> 00:40:00,567
Of welcoming, loving,
and of anger.

335
00:40:02,775 --> 00:40:12,483
Dealing with this source of having both
parts, and experiencing both parts.

336
00:40:12,900 --> 00:40:17,067
This is one big topic I'm working on.

337
00:40:18,858 --> 00:40:23,858
But my question is about
gardening others' gardens.

338
00:40:25,067 --> 00:40:36,108
Of course, unwillingly, I also grew anger
and pain and sadness and distrust

339
00:40:37,775 --> 00:40:42,733
in people I love.
It's very convenient for me to say:

340
00:40:43,608 --> 00:40:49,275
"Oh, I'm a new Paolo. I'm in the moment.
The past is the past, don't worry."

341
00:40:50,108 --> 00:40:52,275
It's very convenient for me.

342
00:40:52,775 --> 00:40:56,983
But I understand that this is
not so easy for the other,

343
00:40:57,525 --> 00:40:59,358
because the pain is not mine.

344
00:40:59,692 --> 00:41:05,442
What can I do about the pain
that I generated, over many years maybe,

345
00:41:07,150 --> 00:41:10,567
and how can I deal with it today?

346
00:41:28,775 --> 00:41:31,858
Br. Troi Bao Tang: Dear Thay,
dear community, and dear friends.

347
00:41:33,067 --> 00:41:37,942
It's true that our mind is like a garden.

348
00:41:39,733 --> 00:41:45,525
When we go to the garden, we may find
beautiful plants that we love.

349
00:41:46,775 --> 00:41:48,983
Flowers, trees, et cetera.

350
00:41:50,858 --> 00:41:58,567
But we will also find grass,
and the plants we don't really like.

351
00:42:05,803 --> 00:42:11,650
 But they are all there. This is
one thing we first have to accept.

352
00:42:12,942 --> 00:42:16,192
That everything is organic
and they are all there.

353
00:42:17,525 --> 00:42:19,983
And they all can be transformed, too.

354
00:42:21,275 --> 00:42:29,067
The place where the nettles grow,
if we want to change it into flowers,

355
00:42:29,775 --> 00:42:32,025
it's possible.

356
00:42:33,358 --> 00:42:38,983
But we can also allow the nettles
to be there and see the goodness of it.

357
00:42:42,317 --> 00:42:47,108
So for me, for example, when I practise,

358
00:42:50,233 --> 00:42:56,775
in the beginning I thought I could
take away all of the bad seeds in me.

359
00:42:57,733 --> 00:43:00,275
And to have no more bad seeds,
only good seeds.

360
00:43:02,192 --> 00:43:07,858
I imagined, if I practised, and one day
I would not have anger any more,

361
00:43:09,692 --> 00:43:13,150
it means I am emotionally handicapped.

362
00:43:14,775 --> 00:43:17,400
And I don't want to be like that.

363
00:43:18,567 --> 00:43:20,525
I want to feel alive.

364
00:43:22,442 --> 00:43:27,025
But to do that, I need to have
enough energy of mindfulness

365
00:43:27,858 --> 00:43:32,733
in the present moment,
to recognise that something is arising

366
00:43:33,650 --> 00:43:37,233
that I don't appreciate.

367
00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:44,900
Something that can cause
suffering for myself and for others.

368
00:43:48,567 --> 00:43:52,400
So that is why navigating
our action is very important.

369
00:43:53,442 --> 00:43:58,692
First, recognise what is happening in us,
and then we navigate our action.

370
00:44:01,025 --> 00:44:04,900
The fourth mindfulness training
is very helpful to do that.

371
00:44:06,150 --> 00:44:09,400
When we recognise that
we are in a strong emotion,

372
00:44:11,233 --> 00:44:15,858
we practise not to speak
and not to act, but instead,

373
00:44:16,942 --> 00:44:19,317
to recognise it and
practise with that seed.

374
00:44:21,025 --> 00:44:28,692
Until you feel you have enough calm.
Then you can start to communicate.

375
00:44:30,650 --> 00:44:36,608
Tonight we will learn more about that,
in the practise of loving speech.

376
00:44:39,358 --> 00:44:45,608
So let's say we have done a thing
that caused suffering in the past

377
00:44:46,650 --> 00:44:55,150
and it has become a burden for us.
Maybe it makes us feel guilty.

378
00:44:56,858 --> 00:45:00,233
It makes us feel like we have
to take the responsibility for that.

379
00:45:03,650 --> 00:45:07,817
So in the practise,
feeling regret is very healthy.

380
00:45:09,067 --> 00:45:12,192
It is not good,
it is not bad to feel regret.

381
00:45:12,983 --> 00:45:19,608
But that regret, if it has grown
into a burden for our mind,

382
00:45:20,608 --> 00:45:23,900
then it is not very good,
then it is not healthy for us.

383
00:45:24,942 --> 00:45:30,983
So one thing we can practise is
to change the direction of our guilt

384
00:45:31,775 --> 00:45:39,192
into an aspiration.
Into the aspiration of practising.

385
00:45:40,900 --> 00:45:49,025
So let's say, I get triggered and I cannot
stop myself from saying something.

386
00:45:50,025 --> 00:45:52,775
To make people feel pain, for example.

387
00:45:53,858 --> 00:45:57,817
If one time I feel
I'm not doing it successfully,

388
00:45:59,025 --> 00:46:01,233
I know that I can do it better next time.

389
00:46:01,983 --> 00:46:06,400
And I need to make a real effort
to do better the next time.

390
00:46:08,733 --> 00:46:13,567
Until I'm able to stop my speech,
that is already good enough.

391
00:46:18,775 --> 00:46:21,900
Because if we are not able
to save the people in the past,

392
00:46:22,525 --> 00:46:24,817
we can still save the people
in the present moment.

393
00:46:25,525 --> 00:46:27,900
And we can save the people in the future.

394
00:46:29,067 --> 00:46:34,608
But this moment is very crucial
to cultivate that aspiration to

395
00:46:35,525 --> 00:46:39,855
practise and embrace that.
And to not be afraid of it.

396
00:46:41,355 --> 00:46:44,983
So, when we practise like that,
we also have self-compassion,

397
00:46:45,567 --> 00:46:49,483
that we have a weakness inside,
that we can still embrace.

398
00:46:54,317 --> 00:46:59,192
When you are able to be present
for your loved ones,

399
00:47:00,775 --> 00:47:04,192
that is already good enough
to transform the past.

400
00:47:10,483 --> 00:47:17,108
We made people suffer
in the past unconsciously,

401
00:47:17,650 --> 00:47:21,567
because we didn't have enough
energy of mindfulness at the time.

402
00:47:22,900 --> 00:47:30,692
By generating energy of mindfulness
and aspiration to do it better,

403
00:47:31,983 --> 00:47:34,942
we can do it now.

404
00:47:35,317 --> 00:47:41,317
In our practise, we have a lot of methods,
we call them dharma doors,

405
00:47:43,192 --> 00:47:49,329
like touching of the earth,

406
00:47:49,353 --> 00:47:54,442
cultivating joy and happiness
in the present moment,

407
00:47:55,608 --> 00:47:58,442
that will help us to be more attentive.

408
00:48:00,233 --> 00:48:03,317
In the practise, we should
not be afraid of failure.

409
00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:08,442
There's no failure actually.
We just need to exercise and to practise.

410
00:48:09,650 --> 00:48:12,108
Thank you for the question.

411
00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:15,400
Br. Phap Huu: Can I add one thing?

412
00:48:16,067 --> 00:48:26,025
If we have hurt another garden,
very simple, but very difficult:

413
00:48:28,233 --> 00:48:30,192
Apologise.

414
00:48:31,025 --> 00:48:32,692
Say "I'm sorry."

415
00:48:35,858 --> 00:48:38,650
And why is it so difficult,
even for us practitioners?

416
00:48:39,525 --> 00:48:41,483
Because we think we're right.

417
00:48:44,442 --> 00:48:48,317
And I share this from my own
experience of living in this community.

418
00:48:49,692 --> 00:48:54,863
We work with brothers 
and sisters 365 days.

419
00:48:56,127 --> 00:48:59,067
We smile a lot,

420
00:48:59,525 --> 00:49:01,942
but we also get angry at each other.

421
00:49:03,733 --> 00:49:11,192
And even in our greatest intention
of doing things for "the greater good",

422
00:49:14,942 --> 00:49:18,442
we will still make each other suffer.

423
00:49:20,733 --> 00:49:27,525
And my biggest growth as an individual
is learning to say sorry.

424
00:49:28,692 --> 00:49:30,775
Without explaining.

425
00:49:32,067 --> 00:49:38,900
Every time I've made someone suffer
in the past, I had a reason to do so.

426
00:49:41,775 --> 00:49:43,817
We all do this.

427
00:49:45,900 --> 00:49:50,733
Our practise of the present moment,
now I've learned, when somebody expresses

428
00:49:51,358 --> 00:49:54,650
their pain and hurt to me,
of what I've done to them,

429
00:49:55,817 --> 00:50:02,983
my mind will go into the garden right away
and say: "Yes but, I gave you good manure,

430
00:50:03,942 --> 00:50:10,608
now you're a better person," and you find
every reason to justify your action.

431
00:50:12,400 --> 00:50:15,650
And I've learned that
that doesn't do me any good.

432
00:50:16,733 --> 00:50:21,525
It only feeds my own ego. It only
makes the other person hate me more

433
00:50:22,275 --> 00:50:24,400
because I don't listen.

434
00:50:25,483 --> 00:50:37,025
And the biggest support and practise
in that moment is to bow and to say:

435
00:50:37,525 --> 00:50:41,067
"I'm so sorry I made you suffer."

436
00:50:41,442 --> 00:50:46,317
Because what is real is that
that person is suffering. That is real.

437
00:50:47,608 --> 00:50:52,317
That, for me, is what
I have learned to accept.

438
00:50:54,067 --> 00:50:58,317
And our practise is
to help remove the knot.

439
00:51:01,698 --> 00:51:05,692
And we will hear the practise
of beginning anew this afternoon.

440
00:51:06,608 --> 00:51:11,233
But this is the biggest practise
of taking care of one's garden

441
00:51:12,192 --> 00:51:15,775
and of each other's garden:
Beginning anew.

442
00:51:16,775 --> 00:51:26,608
To recognise the pain that we have
offered, even from a good intention.

443
00:51:29,150 --> 00:51:33,025
But your action has made
that person suffer.

444
00:51:35,150 --> 00:51:38,650
And just to accept,
you accept the suffering.

445
00:51:39,567 --> 00:51:44,150
Maybe, in my critical mind, there's
still a part of me: "I had to say that."

446
00:51:45,442 --> 00:51:48,650
"I had to do that."
But that's not important.

447
00:51:48,983 --> 00:51:51,150
That's already in the past.

448
00:51:51,442 --> 00:51:59,317
The present is: "You suffer. It was
my words. It was my choice of action.

449
00:52:00,900 --> 00:52:05,858
I will learn from this.
I will reflect on these actions."

450
00:52:06,942 --> 00:52:12,692
And in this way, you offer
the other garden understanding.

451
00:52:14,358 --> 00:52:17,942
Because when someone suffers,
what they want the most,

452
00:52:18,692 --> 00:52:26,650
in my understanding, is to be heard,
to be seen, and to be accepted.

453
00:52:32,368 --> 00:52:35,406
If we're too proud of our garden,

454
00:52:35,525 --> 00:52:42,525
then we are not supporting and helping.

455
00:52:43,025 --> 00:52:44,775
We're just showing off.

456
00:52:45,150 --> 00:52:50,567
As a practitioner, there are moments
to come back to humility,

457
00:52:51,650 --> 00:52:56,775
to be humble, so that we know
we're not always right.

458
00:52:58,442 --> 00:53:02,733
And we still have compost
that we need to take care of.

459
00:53:04,650 --> 00:53:09,567
That, for me, is bruising,
it's painful,

460
00:53:11,733 --> 00:53:18,275
but it gives us an opportunity
to continue to grow.

461
00:53:21,733 --> 00:53:24,317
That is the wisdom of nature.

462
00:53:25,150 --> 00:53:28,858
That it's always growing.
It's learning from its mistakes.

463
00:53:30,317 --> 00:53:34,150
And the garden continues
to bloom it its four seasons.

464
00:53:35,192 --> 00:53:36,900
Thank you.

465
00:54:05,817 --> 00:54:12,900
[sound of the bell]

466
00:54:34,150 --> 00:54:36,900
Woman: I have more of a kid's question.

467
00:54:41,108 --> 00:54:48,608
It's a little bit concerning the saying:
A cloud never dies.

468
00:54:52,233 --> 00:54:58,733
Sometimes we have conversations with
children about death and reincarnation.

469
00:55:00,733 --> 00:55:04,692
My son often says:
I don't like this reincarnation,

470
00:55:05,608 --> 00:55:09,775
because you won't be my mother in
another life, and my dad won't be my dad.

471
00:55:16,176 --> 00:55:19,409
It's difficult to have answers.

472
00:55:21,550 --> 00:55:28,067
Here, we really feel
that the body never dies,

473
00:55:29,525 --> 00:55:31,946
kind of like composting.

474
00:55:35,252 --> 00:55:39,608
And reincarnation really talks to me.

475
00:55:40,817 --> 00:55:48,547
Also the heritage of our ancestors
and the lineage.

476
00:55:53,499 --> 00:55:56,942
It's all a bit blurry.

477
00:55:59,532 --> 00:56:02,900
I thought that maybe
you could be clearer.

478
00:56:20,400 --> 00:56:23,692
Br. Phap Linh: I'll see
if I can summarise the question

479
00:56:24,358 --> 00:56:26,025
to make sure we understood.

480
00:56:27,192 --> 00:56:35,525
There's two types of teaching
on continuation, reincarnation, rebirth.

481
00:56:36,275 --> 00:56:43,525
In one type, it seems to be that there is
something like a soul, or a person,

482
00:56:44,275 --> 00:56:48,733
that gets reincarnated. And
that person has a kind of continuity.

483
00:56:51,400 --> 00:56:54,567
Although the relationships might change.

484
00:56:57,692 --> 00:57:00,775
But it's that person that
then appears in another body.

485
00:57:01,067 --> 00:57:07,525
And then according to Thay's teaching,
it's something more blurry.

486
00:57:08,942 --> 00:57:15,525
We don't see ourselves exactly
as a separate entity or person

487
00:57:16,275 --> 00:57:20,442
that gets reincarnated, because
we are already all of our ancestors

488
00:57:20,942 --> 00:57:23,025
and all of our descendants.

489
00:57:23,275 --> 00:57:25,275
And we are the whole cosmos.

490
00:57:25,442 --> 00:57:29,400
So who dies, and who is reborn?

491
00:57:34,400 --> 00:57:36,900
Could it be more clear?

492
00:57:38,025 --> 00:57:39,983
[laughter]

493
00:57:43,983 --> 00:57:45,733
I think it's quite clear.

494
00:57:55,838 --> 00:58:07,983
There's a part of us that still
doesn't quite trust or believe

495
00:58:09,650 --> 00:58:16,733
that we are already each other.
That we are already the earth,

496
00:58:17,900 --> 00:58:22,275
the stars, the entire cosmos.
The past, the future.

497
00:58:26,483 --> 00:58:31,858
"Yeah, OK, I guess, intellectually, I
kind of understand this interconnection.

498
00:58:32,608 --> 00:58:36,025
But why is it that I feel things
that you don't feel?

499
00:58:36,983 --> 00:58:40,733
Or I see things from a point of view
and you have a different point of view."

500
00:58:41,067 --> 00:58:42,858
We are different.

501
00:58:43,483 --> 00:58:45,108
We do seem to be different.

502
00:58:45,358 --> 00:58:50,567
We seem to have our personalities
and characteristics. We're not identical.

503
00:58:52,525 --> 00:58:57,317
And yet we are, each of us,
manifestations of the whole.

504
00:58:58,319 --> 00:59:00,025
It's very strange.

505
00:59:05,775 --> 00:59:07,817
It's OK for it to be strange.

506
00:59:12,900 --> 00:59:17,692
Of course there's a part of us
that would like it to be clear.

507
00:59:20,525 --> 00:59:23,608
Sort of explainable. Simple.

508
00:59:25,775 --> 00:59:27,817
But I think that would be more boring.

509
00:59:31,108 --> 00:59:36,025
So I like to kind of rest in the mystery.

510
00:59:39,192 --> 00:59:43,108
I acknowledge the part of me
that wants to know.

511
00:59:44,608 --> 00:59:46,858
But I also see its limitations.

512
00:59:48,192 --> 00:59:52,275
That part of me that wants
to grasp and explain, in words:

513
00:59:53,191 --> 00:59:57,983
"It's like this, and then it's like that",
make a nice picture,

514
00:59:59,358 --> 01:00:10,025
I go: "Hello! I see you. You can rest.
Take a break. This is another part of us."

515
01:00:12,650 --> 01:00:22,525
It doesn't need to resolve it.
It can dwell peacefully in the mystery.

516
01:00:25,150 --> 01:00:31,483
My experience of it is that it's
a much more alive place to be.

517
01:00:35,567 --> 01:00:41,400
I think it's beautiful that
at the heart of reality,

518
01:00:41,900 --> 01:00:45,317
at the heart of the present moment,
at the heart of life, of us,

519
01:00:45,733 --> 01:00:48,442
there is something that cannot be grasped.

520
01:00:48,983 --> 01:00:50,650
That cannot be explained.

521
01:00:54,858 --> 01:00:56,692
I prefer it like that.

522
01:01:00,150 --> 01:01:01,593
No?

523
01:01:01,692 --> 01:01:05,067
It's so much more fun.

524
01:01:06,692 --> 01:01:14,067
If it was all explainable, you could just
write it down and you'd be done.

525
01:01:14,525 --> 01:01:18,858
"OK, now we know.
What else should we do?"

526
01:01:23,192 --> 01:01:25,442
It's kinda boring.

527
01:01:29,983 --> 01:01:32,692
For me, a part of the practise is
to recognise the part of me

528
01:01:33,233 --> 01:01:37,149
that wants to know in that kind of way.

529
01:01:37,392 --> 01:01:40,358
It doesn't mean that we can't know.

530
01:01:40,733 --> 01:01:42,608
It's just another kind of knowing.

531
01:01:43,275 --> 01:01:49,525
We do know. We already know
that it's a different kind of knowing.

532
01:01:50,067 --> 01:01:54,108
It's a knowing that
can't be said in words.

533
01:01:54,525 --> 01:01:56,067
It can't be grasped.

534
01:01:56,192 --> 01:01:58,067
But it can be experienced.

535
01:02:00,275 --> 01:02:04,025
Sometimes it's a little glimmer,
a little flash of that knowing.

536
01:02:04,900 --> 01:02:07,733
You feel it. You feel connected.

537
01:02:10,525 --> 01:02:12,567
You feel at peace.

538
01:02:18,858 --> 01:02:23,192
I think that is something
that we can settle into.

539
01:02:23,692 --> 01:02:25,983
And there's words that can take us there.

540
01:02:26,400 --> 01:02:28,275
To some extent or another.

541
01:02:28,483 --> 01:02:31,275
Even stories, or poems.

542
01:02:31,483 --> 01:02:35,567
Why do we sit here, talking,
if it can't be said?

543
01:02:36,942 --> 01:02:41,025
Why did Thay give so many talks,
thousands of talks. He kept talking

544
01:02:42,858 --> 01:02:45,150
about something that can't be said.

545
01:02:47,067 --> 01:02:52,275
Because if he did that and we continue
to do that, it's not completely useless.

546
01:02:55,983 --> 01:03:02,858
I observe what we're doing here now
and I find it very beautiful.

547
01:03:05,942 --> 01:03:10,108
That we're sitting here and
not looking at our phones

548
01:03:11,045 --> 01:03:15,317
We're not distracting ourselves
on our phones.

549
01:03:15,733 --> 01:03:18,900
We're sitting here and
there's something happening

550
01:03:19,525 --> 01:03:23,400
to all of us by the fact
of sitting here together.

551
01:03:26,400 --> 01:03:31,275
It's a bit hard to grasp
what exactly is going on.

552
01:03:31,692 --> 01:03:35,317
What are we doing? It might
not be exactly what we think.

553
01:03:39,608 --> 01:03:42,400
But I think the fact that
we are sitting here

554
01:03:43,108 --> 01:03:49,025
and maybe all of us, or most of us,
are aware of our breathing,

555
01:03:51,192 --> 01:03:58,983
aware of the sensations in our body,
maybe noticing some discomfort

556
01:04:00,608 --> 01:04:03,400
in the present moment
and accepting it,

557
01:04:05,525 --> 01:04:10,233
that's a kind of awakening for me.
It's a kind of rebirth.

558
01:04:16,008 --> 01:04:22,817
My ancestors didn't do this
50 years ago. A 100 years ago.

559
01:04:23,192 --> 01:04:26,400
150 years ago. They didn't
have a way to do this.

560
01:04:26,692 --> 01:04:31,858
To sit together in a room
to cultivate stillness,

561
01:04:33,358 --> 01:04:36,650
to cultivate awareness of their bodies,
of their feelings, thoughts ...

562
01:04:42,775 --> 01:04:45,733
But now we are doing that.

563
01:04:47,650 --> 01:04:54,233
Thanks to one man, Thay,
he was exiled, he lived in the West,

564
01:04:55,025 --> 01:04:57,403
and he saw that maybe
there was something

565
01:04:57,428 --> 01:05:00,317
that we needed
to cultivate a little bit more.

566
01:05:02,817 --> 01:05:09,608
And so that stream of wisdom and practise
joined all of our streams of lineage,

567
01:05:11,942 --> 01:05:22,608
of culture, education, transmission,
inheritance, suffering and happiness.

568
01:05:25,358 --> 01:05:29,650
So something is being awakened.
Somebody is being reborn.

569
01:05:31,900 --> 01:05:35,817
But I don't know if it doesn't
belong to any of us individually.

570
01:05:36,483 --> 01:05:38,775
We're all changing, together.

571
01:05:39,067 --> 01:05:41,317
We're all transforming together.

572
01:05:45,233 --> 01:05:46,703
And ...

573
01:05:51,793 --> 01:05:54,483
I can't say that I understand it.

574
01:05:55,692 --> 01:05:58,567
Or that I can know it exactly.

575
01:06:00,233 --> 01:06:02,858
But I can feel that it's important.

576
01:06:05,108 --> 01:06:07,376
And ...

577
01:06:12,369 --> 01:06:15,025
I can talk to my ancestors.

578
01:06:15,608 --> 01:06:19,192
I ask them how they would
like to continue.

579
01:06:22,608 --> 01:06:24,483
What direction they would like to go in.

580
01:06:24,650 --> 01:06:29,983
Almost all of them. Not quite all of them,
some of them are still negotiating,

581
01:06:31,900 --> 01:06:37,275
but pretty much all of them
are very, very happy to be here.

582
01:06:39,525 --> 01:06:44,317
To live like this.
To do these things together.

583
01:06:47,455 --> 01:06:56,817
It would be kind of sad if they had
to just continue to be themselves.

584
01:06:59,317 --> 01:07:04,733
So the change and the fact that
we inter-are is an amazing thing.

585
01:07:05,317 --> 01:07:08,192
It's a wonderful thing.
It's what liberates us.

586
01:07:08,567 --> 01:07:15,650
We don't have to keep continuing the
same patterns of suffering, of confusion.

587
01:07:18,483 --> 01:07:26,900
We can also get beyond the stories of
who we were and the pains we experienced.

588
01:07:28,400 --> 01:07:33,317
We can start to soften that and
let that go a little bit and experience

589
01:07:33,900 --> 01:07:44,150
what it might be to live as a community.
To live as the world. As forests. Clouds.

590
01:07:51,650 --> 01:07:55,567
Of course there's still a part of us
which seems to be very concerned

591
01:07:56,108 --> 01:08:00,108
with what happens to this body,
these feelings, these thoughts.

592
01:08:02,400 --> 01:08:08,067
But from time to time we get to experience
something that stretches us a little bit,

593
01:08:08,567 --> 01:08:15,525
that goes beyond the immediate concern
for this part of the whole.

594
01:08:17,608 --> 01:08:23,525
And I find that interesting.
I find it kinda healthy.

595
01:08:25,400 --> 01:08:28,608
I'm still gonna do my best
to take care of this bit.

596
01:08:30,317 --> 01:08:43,442
But I like to practise daily stretching
the envelope of what I think I am.

597
01:08:45,692 --> 01:08:48,733
I find it changes my view
in interesting ways.

598
01:08:49,775 --> 01:08:52,817
It changes my priorities
in interesting ways.

599
01:08:57,858 --> 01:09:03,108
What if I'm actually also the forest?
What does the forest think?

600
01:09:03,525 --> 01:09:06,733
What does it need, what does it feel?
Can I feel what it feels?

601
01:09:07,358 --> 01:09:09,525
Am I already feeling what it feels?

602
01:09:09,900 --> 01:09:14,483
Is something that I'm feeling actually
not to do with what I think it is,

603
01:09:14,817 --> 01:09:18,692
but it's actually a manifestation
of the feelings of the earth,

604
01:09:19,400 --> 01:09:21,483
I just misidentified it?

605
01:09:21,858 --> 01:09:28,192
I find that very interesting.
To experiment with my boundaries.

606
01:09:28,900 --> 01:09:31,317
Let them be more flexible.

607
01:09:31,608 --> 01:09:35,317
And I think Thay showed us that
again and again and again.

608
01:09:36,233 --> 01:09:40,608
Of course he had his body
and his feelings and his thoughts.

609
01:09:41,025 --> 01:09:43,942
Personality. One that we loved.

610
01:09:45,108 --> 01:09:55,150
But I could feel many times that he
wasn't as concerned about just this part,

611
01:09:56,067 --> 01:09:59,358
the body, as you might think.

612
01:10:01,483 --> 01:10:03,317
He wasn't afraid.

613
01:10:03,733 --> 01:10:06,692
He would sometimes make this gesture.

614
01:10:06,983 --> 01:10:10,233
"Don't get attached
to the body, to the form;

615
01:10:10,442 --> 01:10:13,483
Thay is the tiniest part of what I am."

616
01:10:18,192 --> 01:10:25,942
So even if our personality
gets reincarnated somehow,

617
01:10:27,525 --> 01:10:31,942
into another body, it's OK.
But that's not all we are.

618
01:10:35,045 --> 01:10:37,567
It's a very small part of who we are.

619
01:10:37,900 --> 01:10:42,483
So maybe it doesn't matter
as much as we think.

620
01:10:45,025 --> 01:10:52,858
What happens to the little piece
of reality that we identify with as self.

621
01:10:54,317 --> 01:10:59,817
In the many ways that we can apply
the practise that Thay has offered us,

622
01:11:01,067 --> 01:11:10,817
to experiment with being more flexible
with what it is that we think we are,

623
01:11:11,483 --> 01:11:16,358
like right now we can sit here and think
of our own individual needs and wants.

624
01:11:17,317 --> 01:11:20,858
There's probably things that we want.

625
01:11:23,692 --> 01:11:31,442
We'd like to feel better. Less
uncomfortable. Happier. More peaceful.

626
01:11:32,108 --> 01:11:35,233
There's things pulling at us inside.

627
01:11:38,317 --> 01:11:43,275
But it's also possible to look around
to sort of feel into the space of the room

628
01:11:44,400 --> 01:11:48,192
and to feel: "Oh, there's something really
interesting happening here.

629
01:11:48,483 --> 01:11:52,775
Why have a couple of hundred people
chosen to spend their Thursday morning

630
01:11:53,650 --> 01:12:00,067
sitting still and listening deeply
to each other and to themselves?

631
01:12:02,442 --> 01:12:04,483
I wonder what's happening."

632
01:12:05,747 --> 01:12:09,250
It's a very strange thing. I don't know
in how many parts of the world

633
01:12:09,275 --> 01:12:14,483
this is happening right now.
In how many places is this going on?

634
01:12:15,400 --> 01:12:18,567
Not many. I find it really interesting.

635
01:12:22,650 --> 01:12:25,442
There is something happening
which we are a part of,

636
01:12:25,775 --> 01:12:28,442
but that we're not exactly doing.

637
01:12:29,650 --> 01:12:34,233
We get focused a lot on "What is it
that I'm doing, my choices?"

638
01:12:35,025 --> 01:12:39,025
But there's so much of our life
that is not doing.

639
01:12:42,025 --> 01:12:46,317
We are co-being. Co-manifesting.

640
01:12:49,692 --> 01:12:52,067
So. I don't think it's any clearer.

641
01:12:54,233 --> 01:12:56,192
But I think it's also OK.

642
01:13:04,317 --> 01:13:08,233
Br. Phap Huu: Dear community.
I think we have to end

643
01:13:09,317 --> 01:13:15,317
because we don't want to
overtake our joyful and lazy day.

644
01:13:16,275 --> 01:13:23,317
There's just one part I want to share.
It's the "Sorry" part

645
01:13:25,108 --> 01:13:29,608
which was the first
action of recognising suffering.

646
01:13:30,900 --> 01:13:39,692
But if there is some misunderstanding
about the situation, there's always

647
01:13:40,400 --> 01:13:47,358
a time and space to clarify,
to come back and to resolve any conflict

648
01:13:48,483 --> 01:13:53,733
that has been established.
It's not just "I'm sorry", and that's it.

649
01:13:54,442 --> 01:13:58,650
If there is wrong perception,
when we are talking about the garden,

650
01:13:59,275 --> 01:14:03,525
if there is real wrong perception,
and there is miscommunication,

651
01:14:04,567 --> 01:14:10,817
the practise is to find a time and space
to communicate and resolve,

652
01:14:11,483 --> 01:14:16,900
so that the relationship
can be re-established.

653
01:14:18,067 --> 01:14:20,483
Normally, when somebody
is sharing their suffering,

654
01:14:20,900 --> 01:14:24,192
it's just very easy to get very defensive.

655
01:14:24,983 --> 01:14:29,442
That defensiveness blocks
the heart to connect.

656
01:14:30,233 --> 01:14:37,650
We have to be very mindful of
our judgment and our righteousness.

657
01:14:39,192 --> 01:14:43,317
Then we create space in order to resolve.

658
01:14:44,067 --> 01:14:45,150
Thank you.

659
01:14:45,483 --> 01:14:48,400
Thank you, dear friends, for being present.

660
01:14:48,900 --> 01:14:50,983
For listening with open hearts.

661
01:14:51,692 --> 01:14:54,733
Let us listen to three
sounds of the bell together.

662
01:15:12,275 --> 01:15:20,442
[sound of the bell]

663
01:15:43,483 --> 01:15:50,983
[sound of the bell]

664
01:16:04,900 --> 01:16:12,500
[sound of the bell]