[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.17,0:00:02.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Good evening ladies and gentlemen.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:02.54,0:00:05.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Many thanks for attending today,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:05.34,0:00:09.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and a special thank you for giving me\Nthe opportunity to share a tool with you
Dialogue: 0,0:00:09.63,0:00:11.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that has truly changed my life.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.25,0:00:16.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I learned this tool\Nfrom reading a book called
Dialogue: 0,0:00:16.62,0:00:20.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Heal your wounds and find\Nyour true self" by Lise Bourbeau.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.87,0:00:24.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But before that, first things first,\Nlet me introduce myself.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:24.35,0:00:26.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, I'm Carolina.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:26.73,0:00:31.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm what you might call a "YouTuber".
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.68,0:00:35.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For three and a half years now, \NI've been making YouTube videos
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.43,0:00:39.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in which I share my concerns,\Nmy soul-searching,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.37,0:00:41.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and lots of things\Nabout the human experience
Dialogue: 0,0:00:41.64,0:00:44.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because this what I do all the time:
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.23,0:00:47.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wondering and trying to understand\Nthe how, why and what
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.88,0:00:50.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of absolutely everything\Nthat happens to me.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.87,0:00:55.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I read a book, "Heal your wounds \Nand find your true self"
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.29,0:00:58.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that helped me change\Nmy relationship with myself
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.39,0:01:00.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and thus my relationships\Nwith others as well.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.30,0:01:03.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Before we begin, I'd like\Nto make a disclaimer
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.99,0:01:06.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as I usually do in my videos.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.66,0:01:10.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's that I'm going to present\Na model that I consider simple,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.40,0:01:14.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,understandable, and very attainable\Nthat really speaks to me.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.43,0:01:19.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,However, this model is presented among\Na bunch of the author's other beliefs
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.70,0:01:22.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that are a matter of faith.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.62,0:01:24.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For example, she talks\Nabout reincarnation
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.58,0:01:28.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about the apparition\Nof wounds on the body, etc.,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.25,0:01:30.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,things in which I personally\Ndo not believe.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.79,0:01:33.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you need to take some\Ndistance while you read it.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.22,0:01:35.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If it speaks to you then good for you,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.08,0:01:38.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,otherwise take away what you can,\Nit's still very interesting.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.10,0:01:40.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, what does Lise Bourbeau talk about?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.45,0:01:43.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As the book's title indicates,\Nshe talks about the soul's wounds.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.42,0:01:48.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In our society as we know it,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.04,0:01:53.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it is true that the emotional body\Nis often put on the back burner
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.42,0:01:57.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in terms of the attention\Nand care that we give it.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.34,0:01:59.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But of course, if we get hurt -
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.61,0:02:03.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,although some of you may put off\Ngoing to the doctor or hospital -
Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.50,0:02:06.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,usually when we get hurt,\Nwe seek treatment
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.52,0:02:09.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,such as when we break a limb\Nor feel pain somewhere.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.06,0:02:12.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But when it comes to the emotional body
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.26,0:02:15.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and what's going on in\Nour minds and in our souls,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.45,0:02:17.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it is much more complicated to see
Dialogue: 0,0:02:17.63,0:02:22.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that indeed, we may have wounds,\Nand indeed, we may even suffer from them.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.16,0:02:27.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So Lise Bourbeau explains\Nthat we can classify
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.39,0:02:29.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the wounds made to the emotional body
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.48,0:02:32.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,into five large categories\Nof negative emotions.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.71,0:02:36.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Later on, I'll present them in detail\Nbut just to list them,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.07,0:02:42.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,these are betrayal, abandonment,\Nrejection, humiliation, and injustice.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.62,0:02:46.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We all pretty much know\Nwhat these emotions feel like.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.65,0:02:48.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We've all experienced them before.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.67,0:02:52.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But Lise Bourbeau says that these emotions
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.35,0:02:58.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,leave a mark on us from a very young age\Nand play a part in forming our ego.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.06,0:03:01.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now there are plenty\Nof different definitions of "ego".
Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.67,0:03:06.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It depends on your affinity\Nwith different fields
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.19,0:03:09.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because you can study the ego\Nin a lot of different domains.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.30,0:03:11.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Lise Bourbeau explains that, in fact,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:11.26,0:03:15.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,these wounds create in us\Nthe need to protect ourselves.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.44,0:03:18.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How? By using what she calls "a mask".
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.43,0:03:20.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll show you that later.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:21.05,0:03:24.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If we were to make a comparison\Nbetween this mask and a physical trait,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.88,0:03:28.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we could compare it to a glove\Nthat we put on a wounded hand,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.96,0:03:33.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the wound being this emotion\Nthat affected us as young children.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:34.75,0:03:37.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I'm going to show you a little table.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.24,0:03:41.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a lot of information,\Nbut I'm going to explain everything.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.92,0:03:46.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So she tells us that these wounds\Nthat I was telling you about
Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.16,0:03:51.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are sometimes things\Nthat we experienced unconsciously,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.90,0:03:55.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,things that perhaps\Nwe don't remember anymore
Dialogue: 0,0:03:55.37,0:03:57.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because it seems to me\Nthat human memory
Dialogue: 0,0:03:57.87,0:04:02.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,really begins around age five -\Ncorrect me if I'm wrong.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:02.46,0:04:05.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So obviously, within five years of living,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.12,0:04:08.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we've had the opportunity to experience\Nmany different emotions.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.08,0:04:12.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These emotions that are listed\Nhere in the first column,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:12.60,0:04:15.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,create in us behaviors\Naimed at protecting the ego,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.96,0:04:19.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,listed in the second column,\Nthat we call "the mask".
Dialogue: 0,0:04:19.23,0:04:21.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So this mask, according\Nto our previous metaphor,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.64,0:04:24.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is a glove with which we cover our wound.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:24.78,0:04:28.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We all know that when we get hurt,\Nto stop the pain we need treatment.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:28.18,0:04:30.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So in this case,\Nwhen we use the mask,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:30.52,0:04:33.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that is when we put\Na glove over this wound,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:33.64,0:04:38.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we don't take into account the pain\Nthat the wound can inflict upon us.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:38.52,0:04:43.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And sadly, if someone reaches out\Nto try to help us and touches it,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:43.35,0:04:45.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we are likely to have\Na rejection response
Dialogue: 0,0:04:45.40,0:04:48.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and react in a way where we\Nmisunderstand the other person.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.39,0:04:51.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're going to say, "Why are you\Nhurting me? Don't touch me."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.30,0:04:54.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But others can't know\Nthat we're hurt if we wear a glove.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:54.19,0:04:55.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They only see that we're hurt.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:55.92,0:04:58.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so Lise Bourbeau's model\Nhelps us understand
Dialogue: 0,0:04:58.92,0:05:03.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how these masks
Dialogue: 0,0:05:03.66,0:05:08.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,create a barrier between us and others\Nbut also between us and ourselves
Dialogue: 0,0:05:08.06,0:05:10.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because oftentimes,\Nwe're not aware of them.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:10.59,0:05:12.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We don't know why we use them.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:12.55,0:05:15.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We don't know what they are\Nor what they are trying to protect.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.13,0:05:19.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now rest assured,\Nwe don't always wear these masks.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:19.34,0:05:23.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We only wear them in situations in which\Nthe ego is afraid of getting hurt again
Dialogue: 0,0:05:23.36,0:05:26.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and suffering from these large wounds\Nthat we carry within ourselves.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:27.27,0:05:30.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, for the first ...
Dialogue: 0,0:05:31.54,0:05:37.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For the first wound, the associated mask\Nis the mask of "the controller".
Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.57,0:05:40.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Personally, I relate to this one. Why?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.67,0:05:44.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because acting in a controlling\Nmanner in any situation,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:44.62,0:05:47.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wanting to keep control of it,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:47.57,0:05:52.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is a way of ensuring that nothing\Nand no one can betray us.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:52.30,0:05:55.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Obviously, if I call over and over\Nto be sure that we'll be on time,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:55.80,0:05:59.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that we'll be at the given place,\Nthat I'm not going to be let down, etc.,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:59.90,0:06:04.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm making sure that I won't be betrayed,\Nso I'm wearing the mask of the controller.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:04.76,0:06:09.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For the second wound, abandonment,\Nwe will use the mask of "the dependent".
Dialogue: 0,0:06:09.46,0:06:10.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:10.95,0:06:13.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because if I act as if\NI depend on the other,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:14.01,0:06:17.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this way I reassure myself\Nthat he or she will not abandon me.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:17.31,0:06:22.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a way of ensuring I won't be alone\Nand this person won't let me down
Dialogue: 0,0:06:22.07,0:06:25.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the same circumstances\Nwhere I felt abandoned in the past.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:25.24,0:06:29.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so the dependent mask serves\Nto hide the wound of abandonment.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:29.83,0:06:34.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For the third wound, rejection,\Nwe'll use the mask of "the fugitive".
Dialogue: 0,0:06:34.85,0:06:36.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:36.32,0:06:41.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because when we flee a situation, it's\Na way of anticipating getting rejected.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:42.69,0:06:47.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If I'm facing someone and start imagining\Nthat this person is going to reject me,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:47.69,0:06:52.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by fleeing, I deprive him or her\Nof the opportunity to reject me.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:53.26,0:06:58.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,By doing so, I avoid the situation\Nin which I might feel rejected.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:59.88,0:07:03.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For the fourth wound, humiliation,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:03.22,0:07:05.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the mask is that of "the masochist".
Dialogue: 0,0:07:06.04,0:07:10.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The masochist is the person who always\Nputs himself down, belittles himself,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:10.81,0:07:13.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or may excessively self-deprecate.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:13.28,0:07:16.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And consequently, like the fugitive,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:16.04,0:07:19.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the masochist prevents\Nothers from doing it.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:19.67,0:07:24.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If I spend my time putting myself down,\Nmaking bad jokes about myself,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:24.47,0:07:28.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and showing that I am\Nstupid, ugly, and so on,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:28.49,0:07:32.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it doesn't leave room for others to\Nhumiliate me since I'm already doing it.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:32.07,0:07:35.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So this allows me to protect myself\Nfrom the wound of humiliation.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:35.74,0:07:38.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And to conclude,\Nthe fifth wound, injustice,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:38.85,0:07:43.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is associated with\Nthe mask of "the rigid".
Dialogue: 0,0:07:43.55,0:07:45.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When we act in an unyielding way,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:45.55,0:07:49.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,consistently within a framework\Nor a protocol so to speak,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:49.33,0:07:52.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when we don't want to leave\Nour little boxes or our beaten tracks,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:52.73,0:07:58.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's a way of making sure\Nthat there won't be any injustice
Dialogue: 0,0:07:58.38,0:08:00.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that we won't\Nexperience unfairness.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:00.35,0:08:04.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's similar to the controller\Nbut in a more precise context
Dialogue: 0,0:08:04.71,0:08:07.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and within very precise limits.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:08.00,0:08:13.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So Lise Bourbeau says that, unfortunately,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:13.66,0:08:17.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one of these five wounds is likely\Nto dominate over the others.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:18.07,0:08:21.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe you can see yourself\Nin one of those five, or maybe in several,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:21.86,0:08:26.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in any case, some are usually\Nmore present than others.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:26.26,0:08:30.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Often, we created these wounds during\Nour first encounters with humans
Dialogue: 0,0:08:30.75,0:08:33.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when we arrived on little Planet Earth.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:33.79,0:08:37.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It could be the presence of our parents\Nand our relationship with them
Dialogue: 0,0:08:37.11,0:08:38.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just as it could be their absence.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:38.80,0:08:41.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can imagine that if I was\Na child born an orphan,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:41.30,0:08:45.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the main wound would perhaps\Nbe that of abandonment or rejection.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:45.85,0:08:48.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the fact remains\Nthat even if we had parents,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:48.19,0:08:50.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and even if we had\Nthe opportunity to live with them,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:51.00,0:08:53.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,our first interaction with them
Dialogue: 0,0:08:53.07,0:08:57.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,can potentially cause these wounds\Nin our emotional body.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:57.41,0:09:00.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so we grow up through our life
Dialogue: 0,0:09:00.74,0:09:04.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with behaviors sometimes\Nprotective and sometimes not,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:04.100,0:09:07.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but behaviors that seem\Ncompletely innate, natural to us,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:07.100,0:09:10.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that are part of our identity\Nour personality,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:10.84,0:09:13.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,while in fact, for many of them,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:13.16,0:09:16.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it"s just a way to believe\Nthat we are protecting ourselves
Dialogue: 0,0:09:16.64,0:09:19.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and doing all we can to not suffer.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:20.71,0:09:23.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, this prevents us\Nfrom getting to the third column,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:23.37,0:09:26.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which I named "Solution".
Dialogue: 0,0:09:27.39,0:09:31.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the solutions - again, I'm going\Nto go through them one by one -
Dialogue: 0,0:09:31.49,0:09:34.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we can see how we need to let go
Dialogue: 0,0:09:34.88,0:09:39.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if we use the mask of controller\Nto hide the wound of betrayal.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:39.94,0:09:43.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's very difficult, and I'm proof\Nwhen it comes to betrayal.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:43.49,0:09:46.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's true that many times in my life,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:46.10,0:09:48.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had a hard time letting go\Nin certain situations
Dialogue: 0,0:09:48.65,0:09:50.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I always wanted\Nto control everything.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:50.81,0:09:54.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ultimately, instead of truly\Nprotecting myself from suffering,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:54.05,0:09:55.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it kept me from being happy
Dialogue: 0,0:09:55.79,0:09:59.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when I should have let go\Nin certain situations when I needed to.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:59.35,0:10:01.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For the second, how\Ncan we become autonomous
Dialogue: 0,0:10:01.91,0:10:03.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in circumstances in which we should,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:03.66,0:10:08.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if we always use the mask of dependency\Nto ensure we won't be abandoned ?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:08.55,0:10:10.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's quite difficult!
Dialogue: 0,0:10:10.43,0:10:12.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For the third,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:12.21,0:10:17.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,having to confront situations is something\Nextremely painful and hard to do
Dialogue: 0,0:10:17.75,0:10:21.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if we always use the mask of the fugive\Nto avoid the wound of rejection.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:22.47,0:10:25.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's the same for self-esteem\Nregarding the wound of humiliation:
Dialogue: 0,0:10:25.88,0:10:29.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How can we develop self-esteem when\Nwe spend our time putting ourselves down
Dialogue: 0,0:10:29.50,0:10:32.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and end up believing\Nwhat we say about ourselves?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:32.51,0:10:35.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We often say that\Nit's humorous and for fun,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:35.14,0:10:39.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we know it makes people laugh,\Nbut in reality, there's a big chance
Dialogue: 0,0:10:39.61,0:10:43.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that when we put ourselves down,\Nthere's some truth behind it,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:43.54,0:10:45.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or we end up believing it.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:45.46,0:10:48.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So that's what we use to hide,\Nthe wound of humiliation.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:50.31,0:10:52.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the last is flexibility.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:52.07,0:10:55.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How to succeed in having a certain\Ndegree of flexibility in any situation,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:55.68,0:10:59.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if we spend our time having a strict\Nbehavior so as to avoid injustice?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:59.80,0:11:01.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's quite complicated.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:02.62,0:11:06.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Personally, reading \Nthis book helped me a lot,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:07.02,0:11:12.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to the extent that I guess, studies have\Nbeen made in psychology and neuroscience
Dialogue: 0,0:11:12.74,0:11:16.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that have tried to explain this in a much\Nmore Cartesian and scientific manner.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:16.51,0:11:22.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It helped me a lot because it allowed me\Nto stop identifying with my suffering,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:22.73,0:11:29.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and stop believing that I was inherently\Nsomebody like this, that is, controlling -
Dialogue: 0,0:11:29.80,0:11:33.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,indeed, I do have concerns\Nfor others, don't worry.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:34.07,0:11:38.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So she enabled me to realize\Nthat there are times
Dialogue: 0,0:11:38.82,0:11:42.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where we can spot\Nourselves using our masks.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:42.45,0:11:45.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's certainly a moment\Nin your lives or maybe several,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:45.31,0:11:48.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when you've asked yourself\Nmore or less regularly,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:48.38,0:11:52.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Why on Earth did I react like that?\NThat didn't make sense."
Dialogue: 0,0:11:52.53,0:11:56.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sometimes, a misunderstanding occurred\Nwith people who didn't mean harm,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:56.05,0:12:01.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but we had no doubt that they wanted\Nto abandon us, reject us, humiliate us,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:01.22,0:12:04.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or we deemed the situation unjust\Nor they had betrayed us.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:04.41,0:12:07.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yet, on their side,\Nthat was not necessarily the case.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:09.07,0:12:14.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Therefore, instead of protecting us,\Nthese masks do nothing more than limit us.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:14.49,0:12:16.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now this does protect us at times.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:16.93,0:12:20.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The ego protects us in some cases\Nand it's necessary.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:20.86,0:12:23.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But very often, it's just an obstacle
Dialogue: 0,0:12:23.51,0:12:27.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in our personal fulfillment\Nand in our self-understanding.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:27.97,0:12:32.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Once we realize when we wear the mask,\Nwe can ask ourselves where it comes from,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:32.37,0:12:35.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where it originates,\Nwhen did we start wearing it,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:35.87,0:12:39.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with whom do we wear it,\Nin which moments of our lives,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:39.66,0:12:43.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when was it\Nmost difficult to take it off.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:44.18,0:12:49.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This enables us to get past\Nour toxic behaviors towards ourselves
Dialogue: 0,0:12:49.07,0:12:53.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and even sometimes the wall\Nwe put between ourselves and others,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:53.56,0:12:56.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so that we can try to discover\Nanother part of us,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:56.24,0:12:58.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,another facet of our personality,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:58.54,0:13:02.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that matches more closely\Nwith the person we'd like to be.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:02.12,0:13:06.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So if you're interested, I invite you\Nto read Lise Bourbeau's work,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:06.56,0:13:11.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but also see if you can find this kind of\Nmodel in other fields - I'm sure there is.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:12.08,0:13:15.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But most importantly,\NI invite you to take off your mask.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:15.53,0:13:17.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.