I'm big Ben Franklin

and this shant be pretty

let me instruct you how we battle

in the city of Philly

you couldn't sell Rick James

a bag of crack

you're out of practice

my victory's more certain

than death or taxes

fact is

you're a hack

wack QVC joke

you peddle soap

that cleans bird shit

from my windows

I'll craft a lyrical coffin

and then spit the nails in

call my Arthur Miller son

cause it's death of a salesman

Hi Billy Mays here

with a special TV offer

watch me crush this

bald fat foppish founding father

I'll take my awesome auger

and sow your quaker oats

I'll shoot your rhymes down

like a regiment of red coats

I'm the lord of the pitch

and leader in home sales

you're just a lumpy pumpkin

who invented the mail

Benny's got kite'n key

but you're in for a shock

when I strike you with bolts

from my lightning rod cock

Stop

I protest these intolerable raps

it takes just one easy payment

for me to whoop your ass

cause I'm mint

I'm money

I'm an educated gentleman

so join or die Bill

cause it's all about the Benjamin

but wait, there's more...

Is there anyone out there who can finish this battle?

anyone?

anyone?

I can

you following me camera guy?

cause it's about to get furious

you're gonna love my nuts

until you're bi-focal-curious

your boy George chopped down trees

you couldn't break a piece of balsa

slap chop your face

make a double chin salsa

your style is so broke

they call you Poor Richard

it's bad enough I gotta see you

every time I tip a stripper

Vince against a founding father

is just too bad

cause after this

America is gonna lose a Dad

Who won?

Who's next?

You decide