WEBVTT

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גבולות אישיים לעומת אחדות

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שלום לכולם

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היום, החלטתי
לענות על שאלה

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שנשאלתי שוב ושוב

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במשך השנתיים האחרונות.

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השאלה היא לגבי גבולות.

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מהם גבולות?

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איך ניתן להציב גבולות בריאים?

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ובמיוחד, איך המושג של גבולות
משתלב עם הרעיון

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שאנו חיים ביקום
שהוא כולו אחד?

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אנו קיימים במציאות פיזית במימד שלישי

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ולפיכך אנו תופסים
את מושג העצמי.

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מושג העצמי נותן מקום 
לתפיסה של גבול

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כלומר, הפרדה בין העצמי הנקרא "אני"
לבין מה שאנו רואים בתור "אחר"

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מהם גבולות?

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גבולות הם קוים מנחים

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לצורה שבה אדם מקשר את 
העצמי לשאר העולם.

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הם כללי התנהגות

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שנוצרים מתוך 
שלל אמונות, דעות

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גישות, חוויות מהעבר,
ולמידה חברתית.

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גבולות אישיים מתפקדים 
בשני כיוונים

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ומשפיעים על אינטראקציות
נכנסות ויוצאות בין אנשים.

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גבולות עוזרים להגדיר את הפרט על ידי
הדגשה של דברים שהפרט אוהב יותר או פחות

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ומה נכון בשביל אדם באופן אישי
או לא נכון עבורו באופן אישי

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הגדרה של דברים אלה
עוזרת לנו לדעת

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איך נרשה ןלא נרשה 
לאחרים להתייחס אלינו.

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הנה כמה סימנים שמצביעים 
שאולי אין לכם גבולות בריאים:

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אתם אומרים "לא" כשאתם מתכוונים "כן",
או "כן" כשאתם מתכוונים "לא".

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אתם מרגישים אשמה כשאתם אומרים "לא".

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אתם הולכים נגד היושר הפנימי או 
הערכים שלכם על מנת לרצות אחרים.

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אתם שומרים על שתיקה כשיש לכם משהו לומר.

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אתם מאמצים את האמונות או הרעיונות
של מישהו אחר כדי להרגיש שייכים.

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אתם לא מדברים נגד מישהו
שלא התייחס אליכם כראוי.

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אתם מקבלים מגע פיזי או יחסי מין
כשאתם לא רוצים בכך.

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אתם מרשים לדעתכם להיות מוסחת 
כדי לתהאים את עצמכם למישהו אחר

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או לצרכיו ורצונותיו המיידיים.

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אתם נותנים יותר מדי רק כדי 
שיראו בכם כיעילים.

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אתם הופכים מעורבים מדי
בבעיות או קשיים של מישהו אחר.

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אתם לא מגדירים ומתקשרים את 
הצרכים הרגשיים שלכם במערכות יחסים.

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אבל זה חשוב להבין 
שהבעיה הכי גדולה

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היא לא שאנשים אחרים
מפרים את הגבולות שלנו

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אלא היא שאנחנו מפרים
את הגבולות של עצמנו.

NOTE Paragraph

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כשאתם נותנים למישהו להפר
את הגבולות שלכם

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אז אתם מפרים
את הגבולות של עצמכם

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אתם לא נשארים כנים, אמיתיים
למה שמרגיש לכם טוב.

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זוהי בגידה עצמית.

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אם אתם הולכים נגד 
הגבולות האישיים שלכם

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אתם מחללים את עצמכם
אתם נוטשים את עצמכם.

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גבולות יכולים להיות מאוד מסובכים
אם היינו מחלטים להגדיר אותם

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לפי מושגים שכליים
של נכון או לא נכון

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רצוי או לא רצוי

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או לפי גבולות שאנשים אחרים
חושבים שהם בריאים או לא.

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אחרי הכל, יש גבולות פיזיים
גבולות רגשיים, גבולות נפשיים

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גבולות רוחניים וגבולות מיניים.

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אז אני אפשט את זה עבורכם.

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הגבולות שלכם מוגדרים לפי- 
ולא שונים מ-הרגשות שלכם.

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הרגשות שלכם תמיד יגידו לכם

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האם גבול שלכם הופר.

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אז כל עוד אתם מקשיבים לרגשות שלכם

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אתם תדעו בדיוק
מהם הגבולות שלכם.

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לדוגמא,

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