WEBVTT 00:00:07.008 --> 00:00:18.012 Oh, I'm so glad that we released that panther for Spike to play with. 00:00:18.012 --> 00:00:19.086 Twilight, help! 00:00:19.086 --> 00:00:28.048 I... distracted the panther, so we should be safe for now... 00:00:28.048 --> 00:00:29.046 Dear Twilight, 00:00:29.046 --> 00:00:33.044 I reluctantly write to you about your official duties as Princess of the Night. 00:00:33.044 --> 00:00:36.026 As Princess, you must be present for an upcoming wedding... 00:00:36.026 --> 00:00:39.052 ...and I have also arranged to keep your annoying friends busy. 00:00:39.052 --> 00:00:43.084 Fluttershy, I would like you to draw a maze in one minute that takes two minutes to solve. 00:00:43.084 --> 00:00:45.012 I can do that! 00:00:45.012 --> 00:00:46.068 I'll make it a circle. 00:00:46.068 --> 00:00:49.076 Pinkie Pie, your dialogue will be cut for time. 00:00:49.076 --> 00:00:51.008 It's all I ever dreamed! 00:00:51.008 --> 00:00:54.037 Applejack, you will be writing all vows and speeches. 00:00:54.037 --> 00:00:56.064 Well, hoe-down apple barbeque! 00:00:56.064 --> 00:01:00.068 Rainbow Dash, just sit perfectly still and try not to break anything. 00:01:00.068 --> 00:01:02.002 Yes! 00:01:02.002 --> 00:01:06.002 Rarity, you will be responsible for literally everything else in the ceremony! 00:01:06.002 --> 00:01:11.097 And as for you Twilight, though tradition demands you be present, I expect to see as little of you as possible. 00:01:11.097 --> 00:01:14.002 With dread but cautious optimism, 00:01:14.002 --> 00:01:17.066 Princess Celestia. 00:01:17.066 --> 00:01:19.057 But... this is just paper. 00:01:19.057 --> 00:01:20.091 I wanted a present! 00:01:20.091 --> 00:01:26.026 Oh! Um, maybe she put some stickers or a gift card in here! 00:01:26.026 --> 00:01:31.095 P.S.: You will be attending the wedding of Princess Cadence Notevil Goodpony, and... 00:01:31.095 --> 00:01:39.068 My brother!? 00:01:39.068 --> 00:01:41.066 Your brother's Francis Sparkle? 00:01:41.066 --> 00:01:46.057 I didn't know you were related to the lead singer of pop band B.B.B.F.F! 00:01:46.057 --> 00:01:49.015 Hey baby, I'm the only colt 00:01:49.015 --> 00:01:51.046 Ugh, you know I don't like to brag! 00:01:51.046 --> 00:01:54.062 Francis said when he left with his band that he would come back for me! 00:01:54.062 --> 00:01:57.002 That's the only reason I allowed him to leave! 00:01:57.002 --> 00:02:01.002 Yeah Twilight, it's majorly uncool that you didn't find out about this sooner. 00:02:01.002 --> 00:02:04.068 You're so smart and pretty and a WAY better match for Francis! 00:02:04.068 --> 00:02:06.008 You're so beautiful Twilight... 00:02:06.008 --> 00:02:08.064 I wish WE could be together. 00:02:08.064 --> 00:02:11.011 Sandwich, I TOLD you I don't have feelings for you. 00:02:11.011 --> 00:02:15.062 I'm holding out for Mr. Right, and that's my brother! 00:02:15.062 --> 00:02:18.097 Um, Twilight, you're even scaring me. 00:02:18.097 --> 00:02:23.004 I'm sorry, it's just that I always thought that I was the one for my brother. 00:02:23.004 --> 00:02:27.002 I'm in love with him. 00:02:27.002 --> 00:02:31.082 We're not biologically related. 00:02:31.082 --> 00:02:43.001 He and I were raised side by side, but he was actually adopted, so technically it's ok that I'm also attracted to him! 00:02:43.001 --> 00:02:47.042 I gave you my heart and then you turned around 00:02:47.042 --> 00:02:52.006 The secrets that we shared, the moments that you cared 00:02:52.006 --> 00:02:56.000 I gave you my heart and then you turned around 00:02:56.000 --> 00:03:00.084 We went streaking in the park, skinny dipping after dark 00:03:00.084 --> 00:03:05.015 I gave you my heart and then you turned around 00:03:05.015 --> 00:03:09.057 Depressing melodies, suppressing fantasies 00:03:09.057 --> 00:03:21.011 I gave you my heart and then you turned around 00:03:21.011 --> 00:03:24.006 I always wanted my own brother 00:03:24.006 --> 00:03:27.006 And then he showed up at our door 00:03:27.006 --> 00:03:30.008 I didn't question where he came from 00:03:30.008 --> 00:03:32.097 I wasn't lonely anymore 00:03:32.097 --> 00:03:36.008 Soon we did everything together 00:03:36.008 --> 00:03:39.004 He taught me how to fly a kite 00:03:39.004 --> 00:03:42.008 I watched him grow into a stallion 00:03:42.008 --> 00:03:44.017 I watched him sleep in bed at night 00:03:44.017 --> 00:03:45.063 It's not... 00:03:45.063 --> 00:03:48.002 ...creepy 00:03:48.002 --> 00:03:51.000 But then he signed that record label 00:03:51.000 --> 00:03:54.013 A cute quintet of boyish sound 00:03:54.013 --> 00:03:57.001 But now that everybody loves him 00:03:57.001 --> 00:04:00.012 I'm just a face out in the crowd 00:04:00.012 --> 00:04:03.005 I threw myself into my studies 00:04:03.005 --> 00:04:06.008 To have the world in my control 00:04:06.008 --> 00:04:09.005 I vaporized the competition 00:04:09.005 --> 00:04:11.002 Nobody understands me 00:04:11.002 --> 00:04:12.071 It's not... 00:04:12.071 --> 00:04:13.087 ...evil 00:04:13.087 --> 00:04:16.094 I gave you my heart and then you turned around 00:04:16.094 --> 00:04:20.000 Romantic pony dreams, they never came to be 00:04:20.000 --> 00:04:22.068 I gave you my heart and then you turned around 00:04:22.068 --> 00:04:25.091 Twilight please make this song end, we're a bunch of floating heads! 00:04:25.091 --> 00:04:30.094 Just take it from me, I know you'll come around! 00:04:30.094 --> 00:04:34.029 Though the law forbids it, this is kismet 00:04:34.029 --> 00:04:37.003 Say "I do" and seal our souls together 00:04:37.003 --> 00:04:40.038 Voulez-vous, our love will last forever 00:04:40.038 --> 00:04:47.076 Since we're not related it'll be OK 00:04:47.076 --> 00:04:53.092 So different now from what it seemed 00:04:53.092 --> 00:05:04.027 Now life has killed the dream I dreamed 00:05:04.027 --> 00:05:09.006 That was the creepiest thing I've ever heard. 00:05:09.006 --> 00:05:12.084 While Twilight was singing that song, I thought up a new word. 00:05:12.084 --> 00:05:14.014 It's called "blarf"! 00:05:14.014 --> 00:05:17.053 I don't know what it means yet, but I know it's gonna be big! 00:05:17.053 --> 00:05:20.038 Hey, look who's finally invited! 00:05:20.038 --> 00:05:23.002 Victory for Spike the dragon! 00:05:23.002 --> 00:05:29.073 I wonder if I'll be a prominent part of this episode? 00:05:29.073 --> 00:05:32.028 Are you gonna be a sourpuss, sourpatch? 00:05:32.028 --> 00:05:34.094 I'm just thinking about B.B.B.F.F. 00:05:34.094 --> 00:05:43.006 Ben, Ben, Ben, Frances, and Francis are planning their 2013 Desperation tour, so I'll probably see my brother even less than before. 00:05:43.006 --> 00:05:44.042 Come on now. 00:05:44.042 --> 00:05:45.069 You're his sister! 00:05:45.069 --> 00:05:47.073 You could always be a groupie. 00:05:47.073 --> 00:05:53.085 Or I could be his legally binded groupie for life! 00:05:53.085 --> 00:06:03.071 This force field prevents all dragons from entering Canterlot. 00:06:03.071 --> 00:06:07.014 Woah! What's with all the multiracial guards? 00:06:07.014 --> 00:06:13.023 It's important to demonstrate to kids that both blacks AND whites can be subservient to our white demi-god. 00:06:13.023 --> 00:06:15.005 I hope we don't have to wait in line. 00:06:15.005 --> 00:06:17.089 You do, but I have a fast pass. 00:06:17.089 --> 00:06:26.004 I'm the Princess of the Night. 00:06:26.004 --> 00:06:29.005 You've got me stomping mad, Francis! 00:06:29.005 --> 00:06:30.065 Twily! 00:06:30.065 --> 00:06:32.079 I haven't seen you since the Brohoof Bash! 00:06:32.079 --> 00:06:34.026 How's my favorite sibling? 00:06:34.026 --> 00:06:38.082 How dare you expect a brohoof when you're getting married without my permission!? 00:06:38.082 --> 00:06:40.037 Sorry Twily! 00:06:40.037 --> 00:06:42.053 Things have been totally gnarly around here. 00:06:42.053 --> 00:06:45.063 And I mean the bad kinda gnarly, where things are gnarled! 00:06:45.063 --> 00:06:48.015 I don't care about your problems! 00:06:48.015 --> 00:06:49.058 There's no excuse. 00:06:49.058 --> 00:06:51.091 Sorry I wicked bailed on you, Twi-Twi. 00:06:51.091 --> 00:06:54.097 I was too busy shredding waves, and eating corn dogs! 00:06:54.097 --> 00:06:59.066 I haven't even had time to read all those pink, flowery-scented letters you keep sending me! 00:06:59.066 --> 00:07:01.096 I hope the guards didn't give you any trouble. 00:07:01.096 --> 00:07:08.073 Since this wedding is so important, the military is enforcing a strict friend-zone. 00:07:08.073 --> 00:07:10.008 I know we've gotten distant lately. 00:07:10.008 --> 00:07:15.081 It seems like the only times I see you anymore are through ghostly images of your disembodied head! 00:07:15.081 --> 00:07:19.002 How could you think it's okay to go off and start your own family? 00:07:19.002 --> 00:07:21.085 Don't you know that you're supposed to be MY family? 00:07:21.085 --> 00:07:24.004 Hey. You're my little sister. 00:07:24.004 --> 00:07:27.017 That's why I want you to be a big part of my wedding! 00:07:27.017 --> 00:07:30.034 Because I love you the way all brother loves their little sisters! 00:07:30.034 --> 00:07:32.088 You want me to be a big part of your wedding!? 00:07:32.088 --> 00:07:34.066 Well.. yeah! 00:07:34.066 --> 00:07:37.059 I accept! 00:07:37.059 --> 00:07:41.000 But when we get rid of this other mare, we'll have to make it look like an accident. 00:07:41.000 --> 00:07:44.000 Who even is this Cadence Notevil Goodpony? 00:07:44.000 --> 00:07:50.069 Cadence is a world peace advocate, an organ donor, a wildlife conservationist, a children's book author... 00:07:50.069 --> 00:07:53.018 ...and the freely elected leader of her own country! 00:07:53.018 --> 00:07:55.077 Francis, I told you, I don't like to brag! 00:07:55.077 --> 00:07:56.076 Hi there! 00:07:56.076 --> 00:07:59.012 I will destroy you and steal your fiancé! 00:07:59.012 --> 00:08:06.005 Booty-booty-booty-booty rockin' everywhere! 00:08:06.005 --> 00:08:09.064 Cadence, it's me, Twilight! 00:08:09.064 --> 00:08:14.009 Uh-huh. 00:08:14.009 --> 00:08:16.032 I'm so glad we're all together now. 00:08:16.032 --> 00:08:21.021 My little unicorn sister, who I love in a completely platonic way. 00:08:21.021 --> 00:08:26.056 And my beautiful alicorn bride, who I love with burning romantic passion! 00:08:26.056 --> 00:08:28.058 Now, you two get bonding. 00:08:28.058 --> 00:08:33.004 I incest! 00:08:33.004 --> 00:08:34.078 Don't worry, Spike! 00:08:34.078 --> 00:08:37.033 We'll adopt you! 00:08:37.033 --> 00:08:38.081 Hiya, Princess! 00:08:38.081 --> 00:08:41.026 Please, you can just call me Cadence. 00:08:41.026 --> 00:08:44.002 Hiya, Princess Princess Princess Princess! 00:08:44.002 --> 00:08:46.068 I whipped up some special treats just for you! 00:08:46.068 --> 00:08:52.044 Oh good! 00:08:52.044 --> 00:08:55.061 I thought I told you I'm allergic to apples... 00:08:55.061 --> 00:08:56.004 Sure did! 00:08:56.004 --> 00:09:00.000 I ignore things that challenge me! 00:09:00.000 --> 00:09:01.085 Enjoy all those apple tarts! 00:09:01.085 --> 00:09:09.059 I know how you love apples! 00:09:09.059 --> 00:09:13.058 And when she looks at me, it's like she thinks I'm not special! 00:09:13.058 --> 00:09:16.059 Oh, I'll be so much happier when she's gone for good! 00:09:16.059 --> 00:09:17.057 Wait, what? 00:09:17.057 --> 00:09:18.076 Is she talking about me? 00:09:18.076 --> 00:09:19.001 Your Highness! Is she talking about me? 00:09:19.001 --> 00:09:19.079 Your Highness! 00:09:19.079 --> 00:09:26.009 Let me start by saying that you and Francis Sparkle will have many, many beautiful babies! 00:09:26.009 --> 00:09:28.083 O...k... is my dress ready? 00:09:28.083 --> 00:09:31.002 Oh, right, the dress. 00:09:31.002 --> 00:09:35.042 It's made entirely of spider silk, and stroger than kevlar! 00:09:35.042 --> 00:09:38.057 But thinner than filament! 00:09:38.057 --> 00:09:41.083 Hm, well, it doesn't really look like a wedding dress. 00:09:41.083 --> 00:09:43.051 I think it's lovely! 00:09:43.051 --> 00:09:44.004 Me too! 00:09:44.004 --> 00:09:46.017 I like pants! 00:09:46.017 --> 00:09:49.083 Just fix the dress, ok? 00:09:49.083 --> 00:09:53.066 Gee, maybe her name should be Princess Stupid! 00:09:53.066 --> 00:09:58.005 Suh-wish! 00:09:58.005 --> 00:10:01.049 Oh, hi, sister, I've been looking everywhere for you. 00:10:01.049 --> 00:10:01.007 This is actually a bad time. Oh, hi, sister, I've been looking everywhere for you. 00:10:01.007 --> 00:10:03.029 This is actually a bad time. 00:10:03.029 --> 00:10:05.039 Oh, uh, ok... 00:10:05.039 --> 00:10:07.025 Bet I can guess what you're all thinking. 00:10:07.025 --> 00:10:12.079 Cadence is an evil shapeshifter queen who's trying to feast on my brother's love! 00:10:12.079 --> 00:10:14.005 We're so proud! 00:10:14.005 --> 00:10:16.039 Spike, dreams are for winners! 00:10:16.039 --> 00:10:18.052 Cadence seems perfectly normal! 00:10:18.052 --> 00:10:24.097 I'm sure you're just projecting your flaws. 00:10:24.097 --> 00:10:27.016 Rarity, she rejected your dress! 00:10:27.016 --> 00:10:29.000 Well, of course she did! 00:10:29.000 --> 00:10:32.015 And she was very gracious about my blatant insanity. 00:10:32.015 --> 00:10:36.046 Applejack, did you see the way she kicked that baby in the face? 00:10:36.046 --> 00:10:39.054 Well, I don't remember that, but I'll take your word for it. 00:10:39.054 --> 00:10:43.019 And, I saw her painting blood runes in the castle courtyard! 00:10:43.019 --> 00:10:45.089 I thought it was awfully sweet of her to help me with that. 00:10:45.089 --> 00:10:49.003 Rainbow Dash, you must have noticed her devil horns and bad breath. 00:10:49.003 --> 00:10:54.081 Woah, what are these weird thingies on my back? 00:10:54.081 --> 00:11:01.003 Good news, Twilight. Cadence is going to become our seventh official cast member! 00:11:01.003 --> 00:11:02.001 Don't you get it!? 00:11:02.001 --> 00:11:04.047 You're all just pawns in one of her sick mind games! 00:11:04.047 --> 00:11:07.043 She'll destroy you all to fulfill her own selfish desires! 00:11:07.043 --> 00:11:11.035 Sugarcube, you're talking crazier than rattlesnake in a spelling bee. 00:11:11.035 --> 00:11:12.051 Mm-hmm. 00:11:12.051 --> 00:11:27.033 I'm the Princess of the Night, and I always get what I want! 00:11:27.033 --> 00:11:29.031 Twily! 00:11:29.031 --> 00:11:32.064 Look Twily, it's shiny, your favorite! 00:11:32.064 --> 00:11:34.091 Huh? Twily sad! 00:11:34.091 --> 00:11:37.052 We need to talk. I secretly have feelings for y- 00:11:37.052 --> 00:11:37.092 Hello? We need to talk. I secretly have feelings for y- 00:11:37.092 --> 00:11:38.035 We need to talk. I secretly have feelings for y- 00:11:38.035 --> 00:11:40.054 Oh, uh, hi, corndog! 00:11:40.054 --> 00:11:43.038 Look who crawled out of her coffin. 00:11:43.038 --> 00:11:46.006 Could I speak to you for a moment, dear? 00:11:46.006 --> 00:11:51.074 I'm gonna get laid! 00:11:51.074 --> 00:11:54.032 Twilight and her friends are all really weird. 00:11:54.032 --> 00:11:57.055 What are you talkin' about? They're radical! 00:11:57.055 --> 00:12:02.609 No, her friends are all one-dimensional caricatures and it's starting to rub off on you. 00:12:02.609 --> 00:12:03.772 That's not true! 00:12:03.772 --> 00:12:06.252 You're wearing an outfit made of corndogs! 00:12:06.252 --> 00:12:08.664 You know how much I love corndogs! 00:12:08.664 --> 00:12:09.593 What!? 00:12:09.593 --> 00:12:14.064 Ever since Twilight got here, you've been acting like some poorly written gag character! 00:12:14.064 --> 00:12:16.072 What's going on now? Are you hurt? 00:12:16.072 --> 00:12:18.024 Did SHE do this? 00:12:18.024 --> 00:12:22.633 Cadence is evil! 00:12:22.633 --> 00:12:27.803 Twily? 00:12:27.803 --> 00:12:30.775 Oh, Twilight, do you wanna hang out? 00:12:30.775 --> 00:12:32.904 Oh, uh, ok, maybe later. 00:12:32.904 --> 00:12:34.596 Everyone pay attention to me! 00:12:34.596 --> 00:12:35.433 I think Cadence is- 00:12:35.433 --> 00:12:35.076 Puns! Puns! Puns! Puns! I think Cadence is- 00:12:35.076 --> 00:12:39.012 Puns! Puns! Puns! Puns! 00:12:39.012 --> 00:12:40.000 What're you..? Puns! Puns! Puns! Puns! 00:12:40.000 --> 00:12:40.073 Puns! Puns! Puns! Puns! 00:12:40.073 --> 00:12:40.289 Oh, I've got one! Puns! Puns! Puns! Puns! 00:12:40.289 --> 00:12:41.076 Oh, I've got one! 00:12:41.076 --> 00:12:44.633 What about, "Neigh Yes to Distress"? 00:12:44.633 --> 00:12:48.541 Hey Twilight, we're thinkin' of different puns for the episode title! 00:12:48.541 --> 00:12:50.011 You're thinking of puns? 00:12:50.011 --> 00:12:51.052 Without me!? 00:12:51.052 --> 00:12:52.203 But girls! 00:12:52.203 --> 00:12:55.372 For example, "Oh Brother, Where Art Vows"? 00:12:55.372 --> 00:12:57.169 What about, "Horse Drawn Marriage"? 00:12:57.169 --> 00:12:59.004 Or, "Put Out to Pastor"? 00:12:59.004 --> 00:13:00.713 Or, "Significant Brother"? 00:13:00.713 --> 00:13:04.073 Maybe we can just kinda divide it into parts and use them all? 00:13:04.073 --> 00:13:06.025 Dash, whatchu smokin', girl? 00:13:06.025 --> 00:13:08.036 "To Hat and to Hold". 00:13:08.036 --> 00:13:09.012 That's a good one! 00:13:09.012 --> 00:13:13.255 I would have said, "Foaly Matripony". 00:13:13.255 --> 00:13:17.569 Oh staircase, you're my only friend. 00:13:17.569 --> 00:13:29.975 Yes I love my brother, Francis Spa~arkle! 00:13:29.975 --> 00:13:32.461 Socker Boppers! 00:13:32.461 --> 00:13:33.895 You can sock all day... 00:13:33.895 --> 00:13:35.415 ...and bop all night! 00:13:35.415 --> 00:13:38.233 Socker Boppers! 00:13:38.233 --> 00:13:39.476 More fun than... 00:13:39.476 --> 00:13:41.015 ...a pillow fight! 00:13:41.015 --> 00:13:43.396 Blow em up, put your hand inside! 00:13:43.396 --> 00:13:44.933 Get ready to have... 00:13:44.933 --> 00:13:46.333 ...the time of your life! 00:13:46.333 --> 00:13:49.226 Socker Boppers! 00:13:49.226 --> 00:13:51.406 Socker Boppers. More fun than a pillow fight. 00:13:51.406 --> 00:13:53.018 By Big Time Toys. 00:13:53.018 --> 00:14:01.333 Socker Boppers! 00:14:01.333 --> 00:14:08.226 Welcome, citizens of Equestria, to the humble wedding of Princess Cadence, and Francis Sparkle. 00:14:08.226 --> 00:14:14.052 Rather than having an extravagent wedding, Cadence has donated the wedding budget to cancer research. 00:14:14.052 --> 00:14:22.024 And now, Francis will complete the ceremony by doing a triple kickflip off of this skateboard. 00:14:22.024 --> 00:14:26.038 Hey, where did my skateboard go? 00:14:26.038 --> 00:14:27.673 Blah-LAA! 00:14:27.673 --> 00:14:30.092 I stole your skateboard and I'm gonna ruin your wedding! 00:14:30.092 --> 00:14:33.473 You won't be grinding anything tonight! 00:14:33.473 --> 00:14:34.686 Don't worry! 00:14:34.686 --> 00:14:36.586 I've still got my razor scooter. 00:14:36.586 --> 00:14:38.074 Maybe we should just ignore her. 00:14:38.074 --> 00:14:40.076 Stop ignoring me! 00:14:40.076 --> 00:14:42.133 Drama! 00:14:42.133 --> 00:14:44.433 She's evil! 00:14:44.433 --> 00:14:46.036 Just because she's a princess... 00:14:46.036 --> 00:14:48.953 ...Cadence thinks she can have whatever I want! 00:14:48.953 --> 00:15:00.933 But I know she's mean and wicked, and if I were crazy could I do THIS? 00:15:00.933 --> 00:15:02.273 I... wuh... 00:15:02.273 --> 00:15:05.022 Why are you doing this to me!? 00:15:05.022 --> 00:15:07.008 Because I hate you! 00:15:07.008 --> 00:15:08.686 Get out! 00:15:08.686 --> 00:15:16.094 The only one worthy of my brother's love is me! 00:15:16.094 --> 00:15:23.346 I hereby decree that Francis Sparkle and Twilight Sparkle are officially married! 00:15:23.346 --> 00:15:30.713 They aren't really biologically related, so this isn't weird at all. 00:15:30.713 --> 00:15:35.034 Whaddya know? I threw a tantrum and everything turned out exactly the way I wanted it to. 00:15:35.034 --> 00:15:36.094 That's how we know I'm the good guy! 00:15:36.094 --> 00:15:39.056 I sure am happy to be marrying you, Twily. 00:15:39.056 --> 00:15:42.613 But what happened to that OTHER purple princess? 00:15:42.613 --> 00:15:45.986 Oh don't worry, I took care of her. 00:15:45.986 --> 00:15:48.093 No, please don't hurt me! 00:15:48.093 --> 00:15:49.773 You stay here! 00:15:49.773 --> 00:16:14.353 Yes of course, I'll do anything you ask, just leave me alone, I'll do anything! 00:16:14.353 --> 00:16:19.038 Gee, this has been one crazy week and yet, I feel nothing! 00:16:19.038 --> 00:16:22.026 And you never will again. 00:16:22.026 --> 00:16:26.213 Cowabunga! 00:16:26.213 --> 00:16:28.946 Now THIS was a blarf wedding. 00:16:28.946 --> 00:16:31.353 I can't believe Twilight's married! 00:16:31.353 --> 99:59:59.999 This is really gonna change the status quo!