WEBVTT 00:01:28.004 --> 00:01:50.044 EPISODE 2 "THE HARVEST" 00:01:50.044 --> 00:01:56.068 - Hey Maria. - Hi Negro, come in. 00:01:56.068 --> 00:01:59.008 I bet the fucker's still asleep. 00:01:59.008 --> 00:02:00.088 No, he's up, 00:02:00.088 --> 00:02:03.006 he even went to the shop this morning! 00:02:03.006 --> 00:02:07.076 Have a seat and wait. I think he's showering. 00:02:07.076 --> 00:02:14.002 Everything's so strange today! 00:02:14.002 --> 00:02:16.000 Maria is Lefty's sister. 00:02:16.000 --> 00:02:20.004 She ran away from home aged 15, and was missing for 14 years. 00:02:20.004 --> 00:02:26.000 Nobody knows what she did those years, but she is tough, a fighter! 00:02:26.000 --> 00:02:28.076 Maybe thats why she makes me so horny... 00:02:28.076 --> 00:02:36.096 ..well that and her ass is hot! 00:02:36.096 --> 00:02:41.092 Negro! Would you like to fuck me all night? 00:02:41.092 --> 00:02:43.056 What? 00:02:43.056 --> 00:02:47.008 Do you want some toast? Man, you're always so dozy! 00:02:47.008 --> 00:02:55.028 No, thanks, I never eat before smoking. 00:02:55.028 --> 00:02:59.028 Ok I'm going, tell Lefty... 00:02:59.028 --> 00:03:03.008 Hey man, hurry up, Negro's waiting! 00:03:03.008 --> 00:03:11.016 I'm going now! See you. 00:03:11.016 --> 00:03:12.096 (Music) Suck me! Suck me! 00:03:12.096 --> 00:03:16.052 (Music) But don't let me see your face! 00:03:16.052 --> 00:03:18.048 - What's up! - Hey man! 00:03:18.048 --> 00:03:27.072 - She's gone right? - Yeah man. 00:03:27.072 --> 00:03:32.056 At this time each year we go on a "harvest" trip. 00:03:32.056 --> 00:03:36.096 Lefty usually deals with Barbara. 00:03:36.096 --> 00:03:47.002 She travels to Morocco once a month, to bring gear back to our neighbourhood. 00:03:47.002 --> 00:03:55.024 Barbara's known in the neighbourhood for the quality and quantity she brings. 00:03:55.024 --> 00:03:57.044 Next! 00:03:57.044 --> 00:03:59.068 She transports it in her vagina. 00:03:59.068 --> 00:04:01.084 Over the years it has grown... 00:04:01.084 --> 00:04:05.068 ..to around the size of a Great Dane puppy. 00:04:05.068 --> 00:04:11.004 Over time she learned to benefit from her baggy vagina. 00:04:11.004 --> 00:04:19.076 She'll never need to carry a bag around again. 00:04:19.076 --> 00:04:25.004 However, in October we travel South, to find freshly harvested marijuana. 00:04:25.004 --> 00:04:33.000 Which is drying, waiting for collection. For four years it's been our ritual. 00:04:33.000 --> 00:04:34.008 Is Sentry not coming? 00:04:34.008 --> 00:04:37.056 I'm calling him, but he doesn't answer. 00:04:37.056 --> 00:04:47.076 Probably fell asleep. 00:04:47.076 --> 00:04:50.076 Lefty does the business, I check the product, 00:04:50.076 --> 00:04:54.002 and in case of problems... 00:04:54.002 --> 00:04:56.072 ..we bring Khaki. 00:04:56.072 --> 00:04:58.006 Khaki is the violent type. 00:04:58.006 --> 00:05:03.028 He was in the army then in prison. I suppose that'll harden anybody. 00:05:03.028 --> 00:05:06.076 He walked into prison, but came out in a wheelchair, 00:05:06.076 --> 00:05:12.072 which shortened his sentence. 00:05:12.072 --> 00:05:19.002 He tells the story of a hard fight in the prison yard. 00:05:19.002 --> 00:05:21.000 He took out five guys, 00:05:21.000 --> 00:06:10.016 then some coward broke his spine with a metal bar. 00:06:10.016 --> 00:06:13.016 There's another rumour about his injury, 00:06:13.016 --> 00:06:16.024 that it hapenned in the shower not the yard, 00:06:16.024 --> 00:06:19.044 and it was a slip not a lethal fight. 00:06:19.044 --> 00:06:22.028 They also say the pole wasn't metal, 00:06:22.028 --> 00:06:38.084 but you all know how rumours work... 00:06:38.084 --> 00:06:41.004 Mate, need help? 00:06:41.004 --> 00:06:43.002 What mate? 00:06:43.002 --> 00:06:47.056 What mate? I'm not you're mate! You faggot! Stinky fucking hippy! 00:06:47.056 --> 00:06:50.048 You think I can't cross the fucking street? 00:06:50.048 --> 00:06:55.016 Help! You want some help? Well fucking have some! 00:06:55.016 --> 00:06:58.016 Fucking hippy! I'm gonna get you and kill you! 00:06:58.016 --> 00:06:59.096 You want my help? 00:06:59.096 --> 00:07:02.006 I only met him after he had the chair, 00:07:02.006 --> 00:07:07.002 so I don't know if that's the reason for his anger and raging temper. 00:07:07.002 --> 00:07:15.008 He's a really dangerous guy, especially because you wouldn't guess so. 00:07:15.008 --> 00:07:19.048 Have you heard about that guy that made some machine, 00:07:19.048 --> 00:07:23.064 that's going to destroy the world? Or something? 00:07:23.064 --> 00:07:27.068 Those arseholes shouldn't fuck around with the world so much. 00:07:27.068 --> 00:07:31.084 Stephen Hawking should create a hydraulic system for his boner, 00:07:31.084 --> 00:07:33.068 not help those studies. 00:07:33.068 --> 00:07:35.048 But what's the name? 00:07:35.048 --> 00:07:40.076 Steven Hawking! The one on four wheels, looks like he's drinking from a tap! 00:07:40.076 --> 00:07:42.056 No the other thing! 00:07:42.056 --> 00:07:44.036 Ah, the actual thing. 00:07:44.036 --> 00:07:48.096 From the study about the big bang and the galaxy, and all that shit. 00:07:48.096 --> 00:07:53.044 Who cares? Everyone knows whats going to happen. 00:07:53.044 --> 00:07:55.024 But what's it called? 00:07:55.024 --> 00:07:57.004 Black holes man! 00:07:57.004 --> 00:08:00.068 They suck everything they find, just like your mum! 00:08:00.068 --> 00:08:02.008 But what's the machine called? 00:08:02.008 --> 00:08:04.006 The accelerator? 00:08:04.006 --> 00:08:07.056 - What accelerator? - Proton accelerator! 00:08:07.056 --> 00:08:16.002 Well, pull my alligator! 00:08:16.002 --> 00:08:19.052 - What's up with him? - He's in love with a beast. 00:08:19.052 --> 00:08:21.032 Man! Fuck off Negro! 00:08:21.032 --> 00:08:23.028 You know what happens... 00:08:23.028 --> 00:08:25.052 Go to hell man! 00:08:25.052 --> 00:08:28.048 Mate Lefty, Jesus man. 00:08:28.048 --> 00:08:30.076 That's like... 00:08:30.076 --> 00:08:34.092 ..like when you watch a film... ..and you cry. 00:08:34.092 --> 00:08:37.092 It means you really liked the film, you know? 00:08:37.092 --> 00:08:39.096 But you ... you don't say so. 00:08:39.096 --> 00:08:44.032 You don't tell anyone! You just don't divulge that information! 00:08:44.032 --> 00:08:47.008 You only rent it, and if anyone sees you say... 00:08:47.008 --> 00:08:54.048 Oops, I got confused and I made a mistake. I wanted a Steven Seagal film. 00:08:54.048 --> 00:08:56.028 You're retards! 00:08:56.028 --> 00:08:59.028 Lefty has always thought about things a lot. 00:08:59.028 --> 00:09:03.032 He isolated himself as a kid, trapped in his own imagination. 00:09:03.032 --> 00:09:05.056 He even had an imaginary friend. 00:09:05.056 --> 00:09:07.052 A black kid called Will. 00:09:07.052 --> 00:09:15.006 Yeah nigger, you're fucking ace bro! 00:09:15.006 --> 00:09:18.072 His dad was a country man, a man of few words, 00:09:18.072 --> 00:09:21.076 a man who worked hard to support his family. 00:09:21.076 --> 00:09:25.004 After the early rebellion of his daughter, Maria, 00:09:25.004 --> 00:09:40.088 he had other plans for young Lefty. 00:09:40.088 --> 00:09:45.028 There's... something I want us to talk about son. 00:09:45.028 --> 00:09:49.076 Look I think the time has come .. that we had a talk .. man-to-man, 00:09:49.076 --> 00:09:52.008 understand? 00:09:52.008 --> 00:09:54.006 This... 00:09:54.006 --> 00:09:59.002 This family has a long tradition, well, in an ancient profession. 00:09:59.002 --> 00:10:04.008 By ancient I mean, the profession, well it's hundreds of years old. 00:10:04.008 --> 00:10:06.088 Our "Antunez" family is... 00:10:06.088 --> 00:10:08.092 ..well, we are... 00:10:08.092 --> 00:10:11.068 ..we are and will be... 00:10:11.068 --> 00:10:14.000 well... "breeding hands". 00:10:14.000 --> 00:10:21.024 Guides horse's member during copulation. (THE GUY WHO HELPS HORSES FUCK) 00:10:21.024 --> 00:10:26.044 I'm the town's "breeding hand." You've known that since you were small. 00:10:26.044 --> 00:10:29.096 And, well, your grandfather was, well let's see, 00:10:29.096 --> 00:10:34.006 one of the most famous "hands" in the country. 00:10:34.006 --> 00:10:38.044 And... Ernesto... Ernesto Antunez, your great-grandfather. 00:10:38.044 --> 00:10:40.044 My grandfather. 00:10:40.044 --> 00:10:42.024 Well, Ernesto... 00:10:42.024 --> 00:10:44.012 ..he was... 00:10:44.012 --> 00:10:47.004 ..overall, well he was, the best in the world. 00:10:47.004 --> 00:10:51.072 The best "breeding hand" in the world was your great-grandfather, 00:10:51.072 --> 00:10:55.000 my grandfather. So... 00:10:55.000 --> 00:11:00.000 ..well... I think it's time you... learnt the ... profession, right? 00:11:00.000 --> 00:11:06.072 Because, well it's tied to your surname, the name Antunez. 00:11:06.072 --> 00:11:11.092 You'll see. Come here, I'll teach you the first lesson. 00:11:11.092 --> 00:11:16.016 The first thing a "breeding hand" does is roll up their sleeves. 00:11:16.016 --> 00:11:19.028 You'll see the "tools of the trade." 00:11:19.028 --> 00:11:23.088 Then, our objective is to... ..help the beast, so it doesn't suffer. 00:11:23.088 --> 00:11:27.006 So, say this is the beast, and here's it's apparatus. 00:11:27.006 --> 00:11:32.012 You're in front of the apparatus, so with the left hand, the finger, 00:11:32.012 --> 00:11:35.032 you open it, because were going to lubricate it, 00:11:35.032 --> 00:11:40.068 first we lubricate and dilate it, so the male can penetrate the female. 00:11:40.068 --> 00:11:46.064 So with the thumb, we open the apparatus, alright? And we introduce our tool. 00:11:46.064 --> 00:11:51.004 We insert it really deep, ok? Then deeper, there, further, further. 00:11:51.004 --> 00:11:54.076 There, inside, there, ok? So it's easier for the beast. 00:11:54.076 --> 00:11:57.028 So when it starts... 00:11:57.028 --> 00:11:59.008 Eh? Don't run away! 00:11:59.008 --> 00:12:01.000 Let me go girl! 00:12:01.000 --> 00:12:13.036 Stop running! Don't run away! 00:12:13.036 --> 00:12:17.092 Lefty would have had a different life if his saviour was a policeman, 00:12:17.092 --> 00:12:19.072 a nice old lady, 00:12:19.072 --> 00:12:22.008 or a priest. 00:12:22.008 --> 00:12:27.068 However, what appeared was a species, very abundant in Spain in the 80's. 00:12:27.068 --> 00:12:30.016 No way! A kid! 00:12:30.016 --> 00:12:33.036 Kid, what you doing here? 00:12:33.036 --> 00:12:37.044 You haven't got a lighter, have you? 00:12:37.044 --> 00:12:43.028 His new tutor explains how Lefty ended up the way he did. 00:12:43.028 --> 00:12:47.096 Guys, we're there. 00:12:47.096 --> 00:12:51.076 Merysvilla is a unique place. With a population of 250, 00:12:51.076 --> 00:12:53.056 in the countryside, 00:12:53.056 --> 00:12:57.004 it grows the most marijuana per head in the country. 00:12:57.004 --> 00:13:01.008 It's so far from everything, that it isn't even on most maps. 00:13:01.008 --> 00:13:23.032 This removes the fear. 00:13:23.032 --> 00:13:26.008 "Fatty Ramon" is our contact in town. 00:13:26.008 --> 00:13:28.004 The largest grass producer, 00:13:28.004 --> 00:13:29.088 in every sense. 00:13:29.088 --> 00:13:31.088 A man dedicated to his land, 00:13:31.088 --> 00:13:42.008 respected and feared by his people. 00:13:42.008 --> 00:13:46.028 He negotiates without fear, cultivating in the open, 00:13:46.028 --> 00:13:52.056 and transporting in bags of 5kg. 00:13:52.056 --> 00:13:54.036 How are things gents? 00:13:54.036 --> 00:13:57.076 Good Fatty. We're here to see you, Like every year. 00:13:57.076 --> 00:14:00.076 Negro, you're anxious to try the gear, right? 00:14:00.076 --> 00:14:02.068 You know me so well, Fatty. 00:14:02.068 --> 00:14:10.008 The tubs on the shelf have the different varieties. 00:14:10.008 --> 00:14:12.032 Not that one! You want that one! 00:14:12.032 --> 00:14:17.000 Those are my mum's ashes. 00:14:17.000 --> 00:14:20.096 Lefty, you know she liked to put grass between my clothes, 00:14:20.096 --> 00:14:24.000 and to burn some for Christ, for it's aroma. 00:14:24.000 --> 00:14:28.008 Much better than incense. Sorry about your mum I didn't know. 00:14:28.008 --> 00:14:31.004 It was four months ago. She burnt more than grass. 00:14:31.004 --> 00:14:33.002 She burnt her bedroom. 00:14:33.002 --> 00:14:35.072 Gentlemen, I'm going for a piss. 00:14:35.072 --> 00:14:38.084 Hey, you want help? 00:14:38.084 --> 00:14:41.028 Your mum needs help! 00:14:41.028 --> 00:15:02.096 Leave him Ezequiel, he knows how to go alone. 00:15:02.096 --> 00:15:05.064 I'm getting a whitey. I'm really dizzy. 00:15:05.064 --> 00:15:07.068 I need sugar. 00:15:07.068 --> 00:15:09.008 They did shopping yesterday. 00:15:09.008 --> 00:15:22.016 Yeah? So I'm going to make myself a sandwich with white chocolate spread. 00:15:22.016 --> 00:15:23.096 What's wrong? 00:15:23.096 --> 00:15:26.072 Nutella, on sale, three for two. 00:15:26.072 --> 00:15:28.052 What? 00:15:28.052 --> 00:15:30.088 Where are your standards? 00:15:30.088 --> 00:15:33.006 Where are your principles? 00:15:33.006 --> 00:15:37.068 So are we going to roll our joints with rizla? 00:15:37.068 --> 00:15:41.002 Am I going to start drinking my whisky with Pepsi!? 00:15:41.002 --> 00:15:57.002 If it has a discount we'll buy skimmed milk? 00:15:57.002 --> 00:16:00.076 Shall we do the deal Ramon? As usual, right? 00:16:00.076 --> 00:16:03.092 As you know, production has been bad this year. 00:16:03.092 --> 00:16:09.024 The rain was out out of season, and because the crops were infected. 00:16:09.024 --> 00:16:11.064 The price needs to go up a little. 00:16:11.064 --> 00:16:13.004 How much is a little? 00:16:13.004 --> 00:16:16.000 Five hundred. 00:16:16.000 --> 00:16:19.000 - You're joking! - It hurts me more than you. 00:16:19.000 --> 00:16:21.064 No, you mean you're trying to hurt me! 00:16:21.064 --> 00:16:26.024 How many years did I buy here? Not one, nor two, nor three, but three! 00:16:26.024 --> 00:16:31.002 Look, there are 249 people out there who would sell to me for a good price. 00:16:31.002 --> 00:16:33.064 You know I'm cheaper than them. 00:16:33.064 --> 00:16:36.052 You were. Now you want to fuck me over. 00:16:36.052 --> 00:16:39.064 In this town you wont find any cheaper. 00:16:39.064 --> 00:16:43.024 Well, I can always ask, we might be in for a surprise! 00:16:43.024 --> 00:16:45.004 You're bluffing. 00:16:45.004 --> 00:16:47.008 Come on Negro. 00:16:47.008 --> 00:16:51.044 Ok! Ok! Ok! wait there! I'll leave it at the same price as usual. 00:16:51.044 --> 00:16:53.024 Fucking bastard! 00:16:53.024 --> 00:16:56.012 I knew we'd agree in the end. 00:16:56.012 --> 00:16:59.092 I'm not posh like your other clients that you screw over. 00:16:59.092 --> 00:17:03.004 I'm from the street! 00:17:03.004 --> 00:17:07.024 And my teacher, well he was a street rat who... 00:17:07.024 --> 00:18:00.088 Lefty, because he has two left hands... 00:18:00.088 --> 00:18:03.076 Let's go Khaki! 00:18:03.076 --> 00:18:05.056 Fucker! 00:18:05.056 --> 00:18:08.088 - Let me at him! - I'm going to fucking shoot you! 00:18:08.088 --> 00:18:14.036 Leave me Negro, I'll waste him! Please leave me, I'll kill him! 00:18:14.036 --> 00:18:16.024 Sons of bitches! 00:18:16.024 --> 00:18:19.016 Negro! The chair, come on put it in quick! 00:18:19.016 --> 00:18:33.048 You! Start the engine! 00:18:33.048 --> 00:18:36.016 Jesus Christ. 00:18:36.016 --> 00:18:40.006 Look what they did to the sandwich. 00:18:40.006 --> 00:18:42.072 Euch! 00:18:42.072 --> 00:18:45.006 You want it? 00:18:45.006 --> 00:19:01.000 Eat. 00:19:01.000 --> 00:19:03.036 No way! Man! 00:19:03.036 --> 00:19:06.076 I think I'm hit! 00:19:06.076 --> 00:19:09.032 - You're hit? - Fucking Fatty hit me! 00:19:09.032 --> 00:19:14.004 - You injured or what? - But it was in the leg! 00:19:14.004 --> 00:19:16.052 I don't feel it man! 00:19:16.052 --> 00:19:19.016 Look Negro! 00:19:19.016 --> 00:19:22.048 Put your finger in! Come here, put your finger in! 00:19:22.048 --> 00:19:25.016 - No way Khaki! - Put you finger in! 00:19:25.016 --> 00:19:33.056 - No Khaki, no way! - Come on put your fucking finger in! 00:19:33.056 --> 00:19:37.056 It's sweet man! It's kind of warm. 00:19:37.056 --> 00:19:40.006 - You see. - Yeah, you try Lefty. 00:19:40.006 --> 00:19:42.064 There's absolutely no chance! 00:19:42.064 --> 00:19:45.000 Try it. 00:19:45.000 --> 00:19:50.008 Put it in man! You wont regret it. 00:19:50.008 --> 00:19:55.028 Wow... ..that's amazing! It's like a little fanny, isn't it? 00:19:55.028 --> 00:20:00.016 Do you know what this reminds me of? When I was on a manoeuvre. 00:20:00.016 --> 00:20:05.002 There wasn't one single fucking woman within a 30Km radius. 00:20:05.002 --> 00:20:08.006 There was just sun, a lot of heat, and melons. 00:20:08.006 --> 00:20:11.008 A load of melons. Do you know what we did? 00:20:11.008 --> 00:20:15.076 After sitting in the sun we put a little hole in the melons, 00:20:15.076 --> 00:20:17.048 and Bam! 00:20:17.048 --> 00:20:19.044 Slip the salami in! 00:20:19.044 --> 00:20:21.036 That's called phytophilia. 00:20:21.036 --> 00:20:24.072 - Phytophilia? - Yep, fucking fruit. 00:20:24.072 --> 00:20:27.024 Remember? That was on channel 47. 00:20:27.024 --> 00:20:31.012 Guys with masks waiting their turn, then fucking melons. 00:20:31.012 --> 00:20:33.088 Yeah man, and they say things changed... 00:20:33.088 --> 00:20:39.008 True. 00:20:39.008 --> 00:20:42.088 Hey Khaki, and the melons... 00:20:42.088 --> 00:20:48.084 - ..did they need to be a certain type? - Of course, those sweet yellow ones. 00:20:48.084 --> 00:21:16.072 - Did you eat them after? - Of course. 00:21:16.072 --> 00:21:18.068 Hey, you two! Cocksuckers! 00:21:18.068 --> 00:21:28.056 Look in the car boot. 00:21:28.056 --> 00:21:32.056 It's strange. Sometimes luck just appears, 00:21:32.056 --> 00:21:35.008 but sometimes it has a body and... 00:21:35.008 --> 00:21:36.088 Shut your face Negro! 00:21:36.088 --> 00:21:40.000 You've talked for the whole fucking episode. 00:21:40.000 --> 00:21:44.004 You know the grumpy guy who doesn't like people to piss him off, 00:21:44.004 --> 00:21:46.068 trained to kill with one hand, 00:21:46.068 --> 00:21:51.004 phytophiliac, a Stephen Seagal fan who acts tough? 00:21:51.004 --> 00:21:54.016 Gents, I'm going for a piss. 00:21:54.016 --> 00:21:58.064 The guy who put the merchandise in the car to save time. 00:21:58.064 --> 00:22:01.052 Just so he could say, tada! 00:22:01.052 --> 00:22:04.052 It's ok, it's already done. 00:22:04.052 --> 00:22:12.088 Well that's me! 00:22:12.088 --> 99:59:59.999 And fuck you, motherfucker!