1 00:01:28,004 --> 00:01:50,044 EPISODE 2 "THE HARVEST" 2 00:01:50,044 --> 00:01:56,068 - Hey Maria. - Hi Negro, come in. 3 00:01:56,068 --> 00:01:59,008 I bet the fucker's still asleep. 4 00:01:59,008 --> 00:02:00,088 No, he's up, 5 00:02:00,088 --> 00:02:03,006 he even went to the shop this morning! 6 00:02:03,006 --> 00:02:07,076 Have a seat and wait. I think he's showering. 7 00:02:07,076 --> 00:02:14,002 Everything's so strange today! 8 00:02:14,002 --> 00:02:16,000 Maria is Lefty's sister. 9 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:20,004 She ran away from home aged 15, and was missing for 14 years. 10 00:02:20,004 --> 00:02:26,000 Nobody knows what she did those years, but she is tough, a fighter! 11 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,076 Maybe thats why she makes me so horny... 12 00:02:28,076 --> 00:02:36,096 ..well that and her ass is hot! 13 00:02:36,096 --> 00:02:41,092 Negro! Would you like to fuck me all night? 14 00:02:41,092 --> 00:02:43,056 What? 15 00:02:43,056 --> 00:02:47,008 Do you want some toast? Man, you're always so dozy! 16 00:02:47,008 --> 00:02:55,028 No, thanks, I never eat before smoking. 17 00:02:55,028 --> 00:02:59,028 Ok I'm going, tell Lefty... 18 00:02:59,028 --> 00:03:03,008 Hey man, hurry up, Negro's waiting! 19 00:03:03,008 --> 00:03:11,016 I'm going now! See you. 20 00:03:11,016 --> 00:03:12,096 (Music) Suck me! Suck me! 21 00:03:12,096 --> 00:03:16,052 (Music) But don't let me see your face! 22 00:03:16,052 --> 00:03:18,048 - What's up! - Hey man! 23 00:03:18,048 --> 00:03:27,072 - She's gone right? - Yeah man. 24 00:03:27,072 --> 00:03:32,056 At this time each year we go on a "harvest" trip. 25 00:03:32,056 --> 00:03:36,096 Lefty usually deals with Barbara. 26 00:03:36,096 --> 00:03:47,002 She travels to Morocco once a month, to bring gear back to our neighbourhood. 27 00:03:47,002 --> 00:03:55,024 Barbara's known in the neighbourhood for the quality and quantity she brings. 28 00:03:55,024 --> 00:03:57,044 Next! 29 00:03:57,044 --> 00:03:59,068 She transports it in her vagina. 30 00:03:59,068 --> 00:04:01,084 Over the years it has grown... 31 00:04:01,084 --> 00:04:05,068 ..to around the size of a Great Dane puppy. 32 00:04:05,068 --> 00:04:11,004 Over time she learned to benefit from her baggy vagina. 33 00:04:11,004 --> 00:04:19,076 She'll never need to carry a bag around again. 34 00:04:19,076 --> 00:04:25,004 However, in October we travel South, to find freshly harvested marijuana. 35 00:04:25,004 --> 00:04:33,000 Which is drying, waiting for collection. For four years it's been our ritual. 36 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,008 Is Sentry not coming? 37 00:04:34,008 --> 00:04:37,056 I'm calling him, but he doesn't answer. 38 00:04:37,056 --> 00:04:47,076 Probably fell asleep. 39 00:04:47,076 --> 00:04:50,076 Lefty does the business, I check the product, 40 00:04:50,076 --> 00:04:54,002 and in case of problems... 41 00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:56,072 ..we bring Khaki. 42 00:04:56,072 --> 00:04:58,006 Khaki is the violent type. 43 00:04:58,006 --> 00:05:03,028 He was in the army then in prison. I suppose that'll harden anybody. 44 00:05:03,028 --> 00:05:06,076 He walked into prison, but came out in a wheelchair, 45 00:05:06,076 --> 00:05:12,072 which shortened his sentence. 46 00:05:12,072 --> 00:05:19,002 He tells the story of a hard fight in the prison yard. 47 00:05:19,002 --> 00:05:21,000 He took out five guys, 48 00:05:21,000 --> 00:06:10,016 then some coward broke his spine with a metal bar. 49 00:06:10,016 --> 00:06:13,016 There's another rumour about his injury, 50 00:06:13,016 --> 00:06:16,024 that it hapenned in the shower not the yard, 51 00:06:16,024 --> 00:06:19,044 and it was a slip not a lethal fight. 52 00:06:19,044 --> 00:06:22,028 They also say the pole wasn't metal, 53 00:06:22,028 --> 00:06:38,084 but you all know how rumours work... 54 00:06:38,084 --> 00:06:41,004 Mate, need help? 55 00:06:41,004 --> 00:06:43,002 What mate? 56 00:06:43,002 --> 00:06:47,056 What mate? I'm not you're mate! You faggot! Stinky fucking hippy! 57 00:06:47,056 --> 00:06:50,048 You think I can't cross the fucking street? 58 00:06:50,048 --> 00:06:55,016 Help! You want some help? Well fucking have some! 59 00:06:55,016 --> 00:06:58,016 Fucking hippy! I'm gonna get you and kill you! 60 00:06:58,016 --> 00:06:59,096 You want my help? 61 00:06:59,096 --> 00:07:02,006 I only met him after he had the chair, 62 00:07:02,006 --> 00:07:07,002 so I don't know if that's the reason for his anger and raging temper. 63 00:07:07,002 --> 00:07:15,008 He's a really dangerous guy, especially because you wouldn't guess so. 64 00:07:15,008 --> 00:07:19,048 Have you heard about that guy that made some machine, 65 00:07:19,048 --> 00:07:23,064 that's going to destroy the world? Or something? 66 00:07:23,064 --> 00:07:27,068 Those arseholes shouldn't fuck around with the world so much. 67 00:07:27,068 --> 00:07:31,084 Stephen Hawking should create a hydraulic system for his boner, 68 00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:33,068 not help those studies. 69 00:07:33,068 --> 00:07:35,048 But what's the name? 70 00:07:35,048 --> 00:07:40,076 Steven Hawking! The one on four wheels, looks like he's drinking from a tap! 71 00:07:40,076 --> 00:07:42,056 No the other thing! 72 00:07:42,056 --> 00:07:44,036 Ah, the actual thing. 73 00:07:44,036 --> 00:07:48,096 From the study about the big bang and the galaxy, and all that shit. 74 00:07:48,096 --> 00:07:53,044 Who cares? Everyone knows whats going to happen. 75 00:07:53,044 --> 00:07:55,024 But what's it called? 76 00:07:55,024 --> 00:07:57,004 Black holes man! 77 00:07:57,004 --> 00:08:00,068 They suck everything they find, just like your mum! 78 00:08:00,068 --> 00:08:02,008 But what's the machine called? 79 00:08:02,008 --> 00:08:04,006 The accelerator? 80 00:08:04,006 --> 00:08:07,056 - What accelerator? - Proton accelerator! 81 00:08:07,056 --> 00:08:16,002 Well, pull my alligator! 82 00:08:16,002 --> 00:08:19,052 - What's up with him? - He's in love with a beast. 83 00:08:19,052 --> 00:08:21,032 Man! Fuck off Negro! 84 00:08:21,032 --> 00:08:23,028 You know what happens... 85 00:08:23,028 --> 00:08:25,052 Go to hell man! 86 00:08:25,052 --> 00:08:28,048 Mate Lefty, Jesus man. 87 00:08:28,048 --> 00:08:30,076 That's like... 88 00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:34,092 ..like when you watch a film... ..and you cry. 89 00:08:34,092 --> 00:08:37,092 It means you really liked the film, you know? 90 00:08:37,092 --> 00:08:39,096 But you ... you don't say so. 91 00:08:39,096 --> 00:08:44,032 You don't tell anyone! You just don't divulge that information! 92 00:08:44,032 --> 00:08:47,008 You only rent it, and if anyone sees you say... 93 00:08:47,008 --> 00:08:54,048 Oops, I got confused and I made a mistake. I wanted a Steven Seagal film. 94 00:08:54,048 --> 00:08:56,028 You're retards! 95 00:08:56,028 --> 00:08:59,028 Lefty has always thought about things a lot. 96 00:08:59,028 --> 00:09:03,032 He isolated himself as a kid, trapped in his own imagination. 97 00:09:03,032 --> 00:09:05,056 He even had an imaginary friend. 98 00:09:05,056 --> 00:09:07,052 A black kid called Will. 99 00:09:07,052 --> 00:09:15,006 Yeah nigger, you're fucking ace bro! 100 00:09:15,006 --> 00:09:18,072 His dad was a country man, a man of few words, 101 00:09:18,072 --> 00:09:21,076 a man who worked hard to support his family. 102 00:09:21,076 --> 00:09:25,004 After the early rebellion of his daughter, Maria, 103 00:09:25,004 --> 00:09:40,088 he had other plans for young Lefty. 104 00:09:40,088 --> 00:09:45,028 There's... something I want us to talk about son. 105 00:09:45,028 --> 00:09:49,076 Look I think the time has come .. that we had a talk .. man-to-man, 106 00:09:49,076 --> 00:09:52,008 understand? 107 00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:54,006 This... 108 00:09:54,006 --> 00:09:59,002 This family has a long tradition, well, in an ancient profession. 109 00:09:59,002 --> 00:10:04,008 By ancient I mean, the profession, well it's hundreds of years old. 110 00:10:04,008 --> 00:10:06,088 Our "Antunez" family is... 111 00:10:06,088 --> 00:10:08,092 ..well, we are... 112 00:10:08,092 --> 00:10:11,068 ..we are and will be... 113 00:10:11,068 --> 00:10:14,000 well... "breeding hands". 114 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:21,024 Guides horse's member during copulation. (THE GUY WHO HELPS HORSES FUCK) 115 00:10:21,024 --> 00:10:26,044 I'm the town's "breeding hand." You've known that since you were small. 116 00:10:26,044 --> 00:10:29,096 And, well, your grandfather was, well let's see, 117 00:10:29,096 --> 00:10:34,006 one of the most famous "hands" in the country. 118 00:10:34,006 --> 00:10:38,044 And... Ernesto... Ernesto Antunez, your great-grandfather. 119 00:10:38,044 --> 00:10:40,044 My grandfather. 120 00:10:40,044 --> 00:10:42,024 Well, Ernesto... 121 00:10:42,024 --> 00:10:44,012 ..he was... 122 00:10:44,012 --> 00:10:47,004 ..overall, well he was, the best in the world. 123 00:10:47,004 --> 00:10:51,072 The best "breeding hand" in the world was your great-grandfather, 124 00:10:51,072 --> 00:10:55,000 my grandfather. So... 125 00:10:55,000 --> 00:11:00,000 ..well... I think it's time you... learnt the ... profession, right? 126 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:06,072 Because, well it's tied to your surname, the name Antunez. 127 00:11:06,072 --> 00:11:11,092 You'll see. Come here, I'll teach you the first lesson. 128 00:11:11,092 --> 00:11:16,016 The first thing a "breeding hand" does is roll up their sleeves. 129 00:11:16,016 --> 00:11:19,028 You'll see the "tools of the trade." 130 00:11:19,028 --> 00:11:23,088 Then, our objective is to... ..help the beast, so it doesn't suffer. 131 00:11:23,088 --> 00:11:27,006 So, say this is the beast, and here's it's apparatus. 132 00:11:27,006 --> 00:11:32,012 You're in front of the apparatus, so with the left hand, the finger, 133 00:11:32,012 --> 00:11:35,032 you open it, because were going to lubricate it, 134 00:11:35,032 --> 00:11:40,068 first we lubricate and dilate it, so the male can penetrate the female. 135 00:11:40,068 --> 00:11:46,064 So with the thumb, we open the apparatus, alright? And we introduce our tool. 136 00:11:46,064 --> 00:11:51,004 We insert it really deep, ok? Then deeper, there, further, further. 137 00:11:51,004 --> 00:11:54,076 There, inside, there, ok? So it's easier for the beast. 138 00:11:54,076 --> 00:11:57,028 So when it starts... 139 00:11:57,028 --> 00:11:59,008 Eh? Don't run away! 140 00:11:59,008 --> 00:12:01,000 Let me go girl! 141 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:13,036 Stop running! Don't run away! 142 00:12:13,036 --> 00:12:17,092 Lefty would have had a different life if his saviour was a policeman, 143 00:12:17,092 --> 00:12:19,072 a nice old lady, 144 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:22,008 or a priest. 145 00:12:22,008 --> 00:12:27,068 However, what appeared was a species, very abundant in Spain in the 80's. 146 00:12:27,068 --> 00:12:30,016 No way! A kid! 147 00:12:30,016 --> 00:12:33,036 Kid, what you doing here? 148 00:12:33,036 --> 00:12:37,044 You haven't got a lighter, have you? 149 00:12:37,044 --> 00:12:43,028 His new tutor explains how Lefty ended up the way he did. 150 00:12:43,028 --> 00:12:47,096 Guys, we're there. 151 00:12:47,096 --> 00:12:51,076 Merysvilla is a unique place. With a population of 250, 152 00:12:51,076 --> 00:12:53,056 in the countryside, 153 00:12:53,056 --> 00:12:57,004 it grows the most marijuana per head in the country. 154 00:12:57,004 --> 00:13:01,008 It's so far from everything, that it isn't even on most maps. 155 00:13:01,008 --> 00:13:23,032 This removes the fear. 156 00:13:23,032 --> 00:13:26,008 "Fatty Ramon" is our contact in town. 157 00:13:26,008 --> 00:13:28,004 The largest grass producer, 158 00:13:28,004 --> 00:13:29,088 in every sense. 159 00:13:29,088 --> 00:13:31,088 A man dedicated to his land, 160 00:13:31,088 --> 00:13:42,008 respected and feared by his people. 161 00:13:42,008 --> 00:13:46,028 He negotiates without fear, cultivating in the open, 162 00:13:46,028 --> 00:13:52,056 and transporting in bags of 5kg. 163 00:13:52,056 --> 00:13:54,036 How are things gents? 164 00:13:54,036 --> 00:13:57,076 Good Fatty. We're here to see you, Like every year. 165 00:13:57,076 --> 00:14:00,076 Negro, you're anxious to try the gear, right? 166 00:14:00,076 --> 00:14:02,068 You know me so well, Fatty. 167 00:14:02,068 --> 00:14:10,008 The tubs on the shelf have the different varieties. 168 00:14:10,008 --> 00:14:12,032 Not that one! You want that one! 169 00:14:12,032 --> 00:14:17,000 Those are my mum's ashes. 170 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:20,096 Lefty, you know she liked to put grass between my clothes, 171 00:14:20,096 --> 00:14:24,000 and to burn some for Christ, for it's aroma. 172 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:28,008 Much better than incense. Sorry about your mum I didn't know. 173 00:14:28,008 --> 00:14:31,004 It was four months ago. She burnt more than grass. 174 00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:33,002 She burnt her bedroom. 175 00:14:33,002 --> 00:14:35,072 Gentlemen, I'm going for a piss. 176 00:14:35,072 --> 00:14:38,084 Hey, you want help? 177 00:14:38,084 --> 00:14:41,028 Your mum needs help! 178 00:14:41,028 --> 00:15:02,096 Leave him Ezequiel, he knows how to go alone. 179 00:15:02,096 --> 00:15:05,064 I'm getting a whitey. I'm really dizzy. 180 00:15:05,064 --> 00:15:07,068 I need sugar. 181 00:15:07,068 --> 00:15:09,008 They did shopping yesterday. 182 00:15:09,008 --> 00:15:22,016 Yeah? So I'm going to make myself a sandwich with white chocolate spread. 183 00:15:22,016 --> 00:15:23,096 What's wrong? 184 00:15:23,096 --> 00:15:26,072 Nutella, on sale, three for two. 185 00:15:26,072 --> 00:15:28,052 What? 186 00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:30,088 Where are your standards? 187 00:15:30,088 --> 00:15:33,006 Where are your principles? 188 00:15:33,006 --> 00:15:37,068 So are we going to roll our joints with rizla? 189 00:15:37,068 --> 00:15:41,002 Am I going to start drinking my whisky with Pepsi!? 190 00:15:41,002 --> 00:15:57,002 If it has a discount we'll buy skimmed milk? 191 00:15:57,002 --> 00:16:00,076 Shall we do the deal Ramon? As usual, right? 192 00:16:00,076 --> 00:16:03,092 As you know, production has been bad this year. 193 00:16:03,092 --> 00:16:09,024 The rain was out out of season, and because the crops were infected. 194 00:16:09,024 --> 00:16:11,064 The price needs to go up a little. 195 00:16:11,064 --> 00:16:13,004 How much is a little? 196 00:16:13,004 --> 00:16:16,000 Five hundred. 197 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:19,000 - You're joking! - It hurts me more than you. 198 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,064 No, you mean you're trying to hurt me! 199 00:16:21,064 --> 00:16:26,024 How many years did I buy here? Not one, nor two, nor three, but three! 200 00:16:26,024 --> 00:16:31,002 Look, there are 249 people out there who would sell to me for a good price. 201 00:16:31,002 --> 00:16:33,064 You know I'm cheaper than them. 202 00:16:33,064 --> 00:16:36,052 You were. Now you want to fuck me over. 203 00:16:36,052 --> 00:16:39,064 In this town you wont find any cheaper. 204 00:16:39,064 --> 00:16:43,024 Well, I can always ask, we might be in for a surprise! 205 00:16:43,024 --> 00:16:45,004 You're bluffing. 206 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:47,008 Come on Negro. 207 00:16:47,008 --> 00:16:51,044 Ok! Ok! Ok! wait there! I'll leave it at the same price as usual. 208 00:16:51,044 --> 00:16:53,024 Fucking bastard! 209 00:16:53,024 --> 00:16:56,012 I knew we'd agree in the end. 210 00:16:56,012 --> 00:16:59,092 I'm not posh like your other clients that you screw over. 211 00:16:59,092 --> 00:17:03,004 I'm from the street! 212 00:17:03,004 --> 00:17:07,024 And my teacher, well he was a street rat who... 213 00:17:07,024 --> 00:18:00,088 Lefty, because he has two left hands... 214 00:18:00,088 --> 00:18:03,076 Let's go Khaki! 215 00:18:03,076 --> 00:18:05,056 Fucker! 216 00:18:05,056 --> 00:18:08,088 - Let me at him! - I'm going to fucking shoot you! 217 00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:14,036 Leave me Negro, I'll waste him! Please leave me, I'll kill him! 218 00:18:14,036 --> 00:18:16,024 Sons of bitches! 219 00:18:16,024 --> 00:18:19,016 Negro! The chair, come on put it in quick! 220 00:18:19,016 --> 00:18:33,048 You! Start the engine! 221 00:18:33,048 --> 00:18:36,016 Jesus Christ. 222 00:18:36,016 --> 00:18:40,006 Look what they did to the sandwich. 223 00:18:40,006 --> 00:18:42,072 Euch! 224 00:18:42,072 --> 00:18:45,006 You want it? 225 00:18:45,006 --> 00:19:01,000 Eat. 226 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,036 No way! Man! 227 00:19:03,036 --> 00:19:06,076 I think I'm hit! 228 00:19:06,076 --> 00:19:09,032 - You're hit? - Fucking Fatty hit me! 229 00:19:09,032 --> 00:19:14,004 - You injured or what? - But it was in the leg! 230 00:19:14,004 --> 00:19:16,052 I don't feel it man! 231 00:19:16,052 --> 00:19:19,016 Look Negro! 232 00:19:19,016 --> 00:19:22,048 Put your finger in! Come here, put your finger in! 233 00:19:22,048 --> 00:19:25,016 - No way Khaki! - Put you finger in! 234 00:19:25,016 --> 00:19:33,056 - No Khaki, no way! - Come on put your fucking finger in! 235 00:19:33,056 --> 00:19:37,056 It's sweet man! It's kind of warm. 236 00:19:37,056 --> 00:19:40,006 - You see. - Yeah, you try Lefty. 237 00:19:40,006 --> 00:19:42,064 There's absolutely no chance! 238 00:19:42,064 --> 00:19:45,000 Try it. 239 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:50,008 Put it in man! You wont regret it. 240 00:19:50,008 --> 00:19:55,028 Wow... ..that's amazing! It's like a little fanny, isn't it? 241 00:19:55,028 --> 00:20:00,016 Do you know what this reminds me of? When I was on a manoeuvre. 242 00:20:00,016 --> 00:20:05,002 There wasn't one single fucking woman within a 30Km radius. 243 00:20:05,002 --> 00:20:08,006 There was just sun, a lot of heat, and melons. 244 00:20:08,006 --> 00:20:11,008 A load of melons. Do you know what we did? 245 00:20:11,008 --> 00:20:15,076 After sitting in the sun we put a little hole in the melons, 246 00:20:15,076 --> 00:20:17,048 and Bam! 247 00:20:17,048 --> 00:20:19,044 Slip the salami in! 248 00:20:19,044 --> 00:20:21,036 That's called phytophilia. 249 00:20:21,036 --> 00:20:24,072 - Phytophilia? - Yep, fucking fruit. 250 00:20:24,072 --> 00:20:27,024 Remember? That was on channel 47. 251 00:20:27,024 --> 00:20:31,012 Guys with masks waiting their turn, then fucking melons. 252 00:20:31,012 --> 00:20:33,088 Yeah man, and they say things changed... 253 00:20:33,088 --> 00:20:39,008 True. 254 00:20:39,008 --> 00:20:42,088 Hey Khaki, and the melons... 255 00:20:42,088 --> 00:20:48,084 - ..did they need to be a certain type? - Of course, those sweet yellow ones. 256 00:20:48,084 --> 00:21:16,072 - Did you eat them after? - Of course. 257 00:21:16,072 --> 00:21:18,068 Hey, you two! Cocksuckers! 258 00:21:18,068 --> 00:21:28,056 Look in the car boot. 259 00:21:28,056 --> 00:21:32,056 It's strange. Sometimes luck just appears, 260 00:21:32,056 --> 00:21:35,008 but sometimes it has a body and... 261 00:21:35,008 --> 00:21:36,088 Shut your face Negro! 262 00:21:36,088 --> 00:21:40,000 You've talked for the whole fucking episode. 263 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:44,004 You know the grumpy guy who doesn't like people to piss him off, 264 00:21:44,004 --> 00:21:46,068 trained to kill with one hand, 265 00:21:46,068 --> 00:21:51,004 phytophiliac, a Stephen Seagal fan who acts tough? 266 00:21:51,004 --> 00:21:54,016 Gents, I'm going for a piss. 267 00:21:54,016 --> 00:21:58,064 The guy who put the merchandise in the car to save time. 268 00:21:58,064 --> 00:22:01,052 Just so he could say, tada! 269 00:22:01,052 --> 00:22:04,052 It's ok, it's already done. 270 00:22:04,052 --> 00:22:12,088 Well that's me! 271 00:22:12,088 --> 99:59:59,999 And fuck you, motherfucker!