Shalom to you all.
I met Roei for the first time at a singles Arachim seminar,
After the lecture he came up to me and said:
That he serves in the Air Force, and he is looking for the truth,
And he would like to have a meeting with me in privet.
When he called to ask if we could meet,
I agreed even though I was pressed for time before Yom Kippur.
I thought that we could all use a little more merits before the Holy day.
When Roei came he said that it wasn't easy to get a day off on short notice.
And because it was important, he made the effort.
"I'm not here to clear any doubts and I don't have questions in faith."
My questions have been answered.
I'm here, Aharon,
So you would help me cope with my close surroundings,
That don't really understand my decision.
My sister and my brother-in-law are atheists, that don't fight my decision,
But they don't miss any opportunity to explain to me,
That I'm going in the wrong way.
My long-term relationship left me,
She left me because she was raised in a secular home.
In their house, rejecting religion is a religion in itself.
When she saw that I was going to Torah lessons,
And because it wasn't her religion, she just left.
But what most bothers me, Aharon, it's my mom,
She is against it, Aharon,
she is not just anti, she is very anti.
She doesn't give me a rest.
Even though she was born in a religious home,
But, since both of her parents died, one after the other, from a serious illness,
When she was just a child,
She says that her relationship with G-d is finished.
She makes an effort to explain this to anyone who is willing to hear.
Do you understand, Aharon, I really want to get closer to G-D, said Roei in tears,
But I feel like I'm at war on every front,
Ii'm only a human.
I have no strength for this battle.
I want to start the journey but I'm very afraid.
I completely understand, I said,
It's not easy to be on your side.
Especially when you were in agreement all those years.
Although, there are two things that I think could help you cope,
Tell me,
If you knew that you have a complete support from your mom,
Would you start the journey?
Of course! said Roei,
"A mother is everything. but she is so against it, I told you that."
She is not, I said, your mother is not against it, Roei,
Your mom was religious and remained religious who believes very much in G-D.
She is just upset with HIM.
Tell me,
Can you be upset with someone you don't believe exists?
Your mother believes in G-D very much.
And she is upset with HIM because she feels that she doesn't deserve
Everything that happened to her.
It sounds logical, said Roei,
But what has it got to do with me?
It's simple, I said,
Now that you know that your mom is on your side,
She just says that she is not
So, you are not alone.
Besides, there's another thing...
Your mom's conclusion,
is not the only conclusion one could reach due to their misfortune.
It's possible to do it differently.
And that is the second thing.
In the seminar of Arachim on the last Shabbat,
A man and a woman approached me,
And said that they have been to a seminar like that a year ago,
And they are here again because of a personal tragedy.
They told me that they had a special child,
He was special because he was a genius,
And therefore he learned in university from a young age,
He was also different from another reason, what the doctors call- autism
Which is a person with a huge soul and an even bigger heart,
Only without the ability to express it.
The same as a person who plays on the piano amazing pieces,
But the piano does not make a sound.
To make it short,
About a year ago, after the seminar, they said,
They went to the beach and they loved it so much that they called it paradise.
After two weeks they decided to bring their son to that paradise,
There he drowned.
"We were broken to pieces" they said to me,
"We couldn't lift ourselves up,"
"Many questions came about;"
"How could that be?"
"How could it be that a tragedy like that happens after we repented?"
"How could it be? especially in a place where we accepted the yoke of heaven"
"Our son drowned??"
"What was his sin?"
"And many more questions like that" they said
And if that wasn't enough,
"During the first year of grieving their son,"
"Her husband was found with a tumor and even though he recovered it wasn't easy."
"One of the days," so said the woman,
Her husband and she were sitting in the living room,
"And then he started talking,"
"You know," he said,
"We have many questions for G-D,"
"We are frustrated and maybe angry as well,"
"But let's stop for a moment and start again."
"In the seminar, did they prove to us that the Torah is from heaven?"
"Did they prove to us that there is a creator in the world?"
"Sure," said the wife,
"No one can erase what we have learned there."
"That's right," said the husband,
"No one can erase that, not even tears and sorrows."
"If there's a creator to the world and the Torah is from heaven"
"Then it's true, not just when times are good,"
"It's always true."
"It's true, even if everything is going wrong."
"The situation does not determine if it's true,"
"The truth," he said "is still the truth,"
"Even if everything is going wrong."
"Since that conversation," said the woman,
"We are different people, we might be broken and shattered,"
"And also don't know why it happened,"
"But we do know that there is someone who rules the world,"
"And he is the truth, and maybe one day he will explain."
"So now, instead of being angry,"
"We sit back quietly and wait."
"That's why we came to this seminar, to verify"
"That what was true before the tragedy,"
"Is also true now,"
Do you understand that, Roei?
When life doesn't go the way we want,
On the one hand, you can be angry and upset with G-D which you believe in,
Just like your mom.
And yet, it could be done differently.
That's why I said that your mom is not against you.
She is not against you because she wholeheartedly believes in G-D
Which you have the desire to be close to.
The difference between you two is that she has issues with HIM,
And you don't.
When you'll explain that to her,
She might not change,
It's not just that she will stop resisting your change,
But inside of her, I'm sure, that she'll be proud of you.
Roei set in my living room with tears in his eyes.
"Say, are you sure, Aharon, that my mom believes in G-D?"
"It doesn't sound real, that she is like that,"
"But on the other hand, what you said makes sense."
"I'm going for it," Aharon.
"I'm jumping to the deep end."
"And you know what,"
"I don't care anymore,"
"I don't care that my sister and brother-in-law
Laugh at me for doing Kiddush"
"I don't care that my girlfriend left me after so many years"
"I don't care that my friends from the base and from home will laugh at me"
"As you said,"
"The truth is truth,"
"And for the truth, we need to pay the price,"
When Roei got up to leave,
I reached my hand out to him,
You know Roei,
A day after tomorrow is Yom Kippur and I don't have much time,
But, do you know why I found time to meet you?
Exactly because of that.
Because of the weekly portion.
In the portion of Ha'azinu Moshe Rabbeinu describes in a song,
The long exile of Bnei Israel and what they will go through.
There he explained,
How Bnei Israel will leave G-D and will lose all hope for redemption
Even though G-D will redeem them.
Why?
Not in their merit.
But for HIS name, as said:
"'I said that I would make an end of them,
eradicate their remembrance from mankind. Were it not that the enemy's wrath
was heaped up, lest their adversaries distort;
lest they claim, "Our hand was triumphant! The Lord did none of this!"
"For they are a nation devoid of counsel, and they have no understanding
Now here there is a question:
What does that mean that G-D redeems us for HIS name?
If we are not worthy, then why does HE redeem us?
And if we are worthy, then why is it for HIS name?
Besides,
Why on the first temple destruction axial it said that G-D will redeem us,
By the merit of the fathers?
And on the second exile, it was for HIS name?
The answer is simple, Roei
It's because of you…
On the first exile, after it finished Bnei Israel repented,
They started doing the deeds as thier fathers did; Avraham, Yitzhak, Yaakov.
G-D redeeme them,
That was by the merit of the fathers.
While,
On the second exile,
Even after Bnei Israel comes back home after the exile,
They won't do the deeds of their fathers.
On the contrary, they will leave and reject them (the fathers)
So how is it that after all we will be redeemed?
For HIS name.
We will be redeemed by the merit of people,
Who came back to HIM, even after all that happened.
By the merit of people whose environment,
Doesn't do the deeds of Avraham, Yitzhak and Yaakov,
They overcome and do them,
Even though the majority is not worthy,
By the merit of a small group, G-D will redeem everyone.
That's "for HIS name,"
That HIS name won't be desecrated.
So that everyone will see those whose society mocked,
Thanks to them we'll be worthy of redemption.
By their merit.
That's why I found the time to meet with you,
Thanks to you and everyone like you,
your actions are speaking in favor of Am Israel.
Thanks to you, even if the fathers' merit is no more,
We will still be redeemed.
Now you understand, where you should draw your strength from.
You Roei are a soldier in the Air Force, and you know better than me,
That not every day you have the strength to do your daily army duties,
So how do you do them after all?
Because you know, Roei, that we are all depending on you,
Because you know that you have a responsibility for the country,
So, even when you are responsible for the whole country, you don't get despaired.
When the whole country's redemption is on your sholders,
Will you break down, now?
Shabbat Shalom.