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People have been using media to talk about sex for a long time.

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Love letters, phone sex, racy polaroids.

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There's even a story of a girl who eloped with a man that she met over the telegraph in 1886.

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Today we have sexting

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and I am a sexting expert.

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Not an expert sexter--

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(Laughter)

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Though, I do know what this means

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and I think you do too!

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(Laughter)

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I have been studying sexting since the media attention to it began in 2008.

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I wrote a book on the moral panic about sexting,

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and here's what I found:

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Most people are worrying about the wrong thing.

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They're trying to just prevent sexting from happening entirely,

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but let me ask you this:

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as long as it is completely consensual, what's the problem with sexting?

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People are into all sorts of things that you may not be into,

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like blue cheese or cilantro.

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(Laughter)

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Sexting is certainly risky, like anything that's fun,

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but as long as you're not sending any image to someone who doesn't want to receive it,

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there's no harm.

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What I do think is a serious problem is when people share private images of others without their permission,

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and instead of worrying about sexting,

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what I think we need to do is think a lot more about digital privacy.

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The key is consent.

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Right now people are thinking about sexting without really thinking about consent at all.

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Did you know that we currently criminalize teen sexting?

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It can be a crime because it counts as child pornography

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if there's an image of someone under eighteen,

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and it doesn't even matter if they took that image of themselves

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and shared it willingly.

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So we end up with this bizarre legal situation

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where two 17-year-olds can have sex in most U.S. states,

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but they can't photograph it.

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Some states have also tried passing sexting misdemeanor laws,

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but these laws repeat the same problem

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because they still make consensual sexting illegal.

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It doesn't make sense to try to ban all sexting to try to address privacy violations.

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This is kind of like saying, "let's solve the problem of date rape by just making dating completely illegal."

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Most teens don't get arrested for sexting, but can you guess who does?

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It's often teens who are disliked by their partners parents,

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and this can be because of class bias, racism, or homophobia.

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Most prosecutors are, of course, smart enough not to use child pornography charges against teenagers,

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but some do.

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According to researchers at the University of New Hampshire,

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seven percent of all child pornography possession arrests are teen sexting consensually with other teens.

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Child pornography is a serious crime

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but it's just not the same thing as teen sexting.

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Parents and educators are also responding to sexting

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without really thinking too much about consent.

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Their message to teens is often just don't do it,

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and I totally get it.

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There are serious legal risks and of course that potential for privacy violations.

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And when you were a teen, I'm sure you did exactly as you were told, right?

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You're probably thinking, "My kid would never sext,"

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and that's true; your little angel may not be sexting

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because only 33 percent of 16 and 17-year-olds are sexting.

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But, sorry, by the time they're older

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the odds are that they will be sexting.

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Every study I've seen puts the rate above 50 percent for 18 to 24-year-olds.

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And most of the time, nothing goes wrong.

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People asking me all the time things like,

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"isn't sexting just so dangerous, though?

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It's like you wouldn't leave your wallet on a park bench and just exp (4:51)