WEBVTT 00:00:00.964 --> 00:00:05.190 typing 00:00:05.190 --> 00:00:10.214 music 00:00:10.214 --> 00:00:15.525 laughter 00:00:15.525 --> 00:00:18.422 Jimmy I'm afraid it's bad news 00:00:18.422 --> 00:00:22.024 you only have six months. 00:00:22.024 --> 00:00:24.329 Only six more months. 00:00:24.329 --> 00:00:28.932 I'm afraid that's our most optimistic estimate, yes. 00:00:28.932 --> 00:00:36.357 Six more months is all you have left at Late Night. 00:00:36.357 --> 00:00:38.274 But then I get the Tonight Show, right? 00:00:38.274 --> 00:00:40.608 Oh, yeah! 00:00:40.608 --> 00:00:43.464 Hey, good to see you again! I've got a show to do. 00:00:43.496 --> 00:00:46.433 I want to thank all of my guests. 00:00:46.634 --> 00:00:48.453 Good night everybody! 00:00:48.453 --> 00:00:55.275 Applause 00:00:55.275 --> 00:01:15.472 Music 00:01:22.958 --> 00:01:30.940 Joking Bad 00:01:42.430 --> 00:01:45.378 Hey Bones? 00:01:45.378 --> 00:01:46.587 Mr. P, what up yo? 00:01:46.587 --> 00:01:48.314 What are you doing out here? 00:01:48.314 --> 00:01:49.700 What does it look like? 00:01:49.700 --> 00:01:51.049 Bitch 00:01:51.409 --> 00:01:53.079 I'm selling jokes; check it out. 00:01:53.119 --> 00:01:55.387 Topical, yo mama. 00:01:55.437 --> 00:01:56.672 Let me see that! 00:01:59.172 --> 00:02:01.800 What do you call a cow that fell in the honey pot? 00:02:02.420 --> 00:02:06.529 Here comes honey-moo moo... 00:02:06.529 --> 00:02:08.754 That's got to be the lamest joke I've ever seen. 00:02:08.754 --> 00:02:12.150 Whatever, bitch. 00:02:12.150 --> 00:02:15.546 Make a fat stash, yo. 00:02:15.546 --> 00:02:18.944 You made that much money selling that stupid joke? 00:02:18.944 --> 00:02:20.378 Yes. 00:02:20.378 --> 00:02:21.979 Bitch. 00:02:21.979 --> 00:02:24.170 Do you realize what would happen if we worked together? 00:02:24.170 --> 00:02:31.504 I have six months left of Late Night, but with my jokes and your connections there's no end to what we could do. 00:02:31.514 --> 00:02:38.286 No end, yo, that could be a joke, like about a dude who has no ass - no end, bitch. 00:02:38.286 --> 00:02:40.968 We've got a lot of work to do. 00:02:40.968 --> 00:02:45.702 Let's joke... 00:02:45.702 --> 00:03:02.586 Music 00:03:02.818 --> 00:03:03.838 Knock, knock 00:03:03.966 --> 00:03:07.006 Hey we're fumigating in here, you better clear out. 00:03:08.894 --> 00:03:19.704 We've got work to do, Bitch. 00:03:19.704 --> 00:03:30.646 Anthony Weiner+One Direction = One Erection 00:03:30.646 --> 00:03:39.647 Pop Rocks 00:03:39.647 --> 00:03:44.814 Comedy Cellar 00:03:44.814 --> 00:03:47.064 Hey yo, bitch. 00:03:47.064 --> 00:03:48.766 Yeah? 00:03:48.766 --> 00:03:51.129 I got a joke, you interested in buying? 00:03:51.129 --> 00:03:53.282 Late Night With Jimmy Fallon 00:03:53.302 --> 00:03:54.153 I don't know. 00:03:54.153 --> 00:03:54.871 Come on! 00:03:54.871 --> 00:03:57.817 Bitch, bitch 00:03:57.817 --> 00:04:00.755 You sure it will work? 00:04:00.755 --> 00:04:05.981 This is the purest product out there - guaranteed laugh their asses off. 00:04:05.981 --> 00:04:09.089 TIght, tight, tight, yes! 00:04:11.055 --> 00:04:14.225 Ladies and gentleman… Colin Quinn! 00:04:14.225 --> 00:04:17.630 I'll tell you, boy, crazy times we live in... 00:04:17.670 --> 00:04:26.983 I read where Snoop Lion got caught rolling a fatty, or as Chris Christie calls it rolling a me. 00:04:33.403 --> 00:04:36.970 Late Night with Jimmy Fallon 00:04:47.650 --> 00:04:50.558 Jimmy, the head writer's here to see you. 00:04:50.568 --> 00:04:54.408 Hey, Jimbo. Mind if I run something by you? 00:04:54.922 --> 00:04:56.407 Sure, why not? 00:04:56.407 --> 00:05:03.120 I was at the Comedy Cellar and I found one of our jokes. 00:05:03.120 --> 00:05:12.012 It says here, J.F. thanks for the joke. 00:05:12.012 --> 00:05:17.486 What do you think that J.F. stands for? 00:05:17.486 --> 00:05:20.805 James Franco? 00:05:21.490 --> 00:05:24.918 Jeff Foxworthy? 00:05:25.089 --> 00:05:28.233 Janky Funkbush? 00:05:28.409 --> 00:05:31.304 Jimmy Fallon? 00:05:33.354 --> 00:05:38.486 You got me... 00:05:38.486 --> 00:05:40.514 Really, are you serious? 00:05:40.514 --> 00:05:43.226 No I was joking. 00:05:43.226 --> 00:05:47.925 Oh, oh, right. I thought I was onto something there. 00:05:47.925 --> 00:05:51.352 Could you give me a minute? I just wanna talk to my agent 00:05:51.352 --> 00:05:55.005 Yeah, sure. 00:05:58.582 --> 00:06:02.256 This is Saw. 00:06:02.256 --> 00:06:05.076 Saw! I need your help! Miles is catching on. 00:06:05.156 --> 00:06:09.218 I think he knows the jokes are coming from the inside 00:06:09.218 --> 00:06:12.690 I told you you can't do this one joke at a time. You got to sell them wholesale. 00:06:12.690 --> 00:06:15.835 But how? 00:06:14.005 --> 00:06:33.864 Just say, I know a guy, who knows a guy who knows another guy who went to Boy Scouts with another guy whose older sister who briefly dated another guy's brother whose cousin shared a cab with a girl who knows a guy that deals meth. 00:06:36.834 --> 00:06:39.397 And he knows a guy who sells jokes wholesale. 00:06:37.291 --> 00:06:41.008 Where is he? 00:06:41.364 --> 00:06:44.468 He's on the Roots Vehicle right now. 00:06:44.468 --> 00:06:45.947 The Roots Vehicle? 00:06:45.947 --> 00:06:49.225 Yeah, the RV. 00:06:55.217 --> 00:06:58.995 Roots? NOTE Paragraph 00:06:59.407 --> 00:07:02.138 Hey Jimmy, what's up? 00:07:07.490 --> 00:07:09.748 I was just, eh, why's it so smoky in here? 00:07:09.748 --> 00:07:11.671 Incense. 00:07:11.671 --> 00:07:14.095 I was told to meet a man here. 00:07:14.095 --> 00:07:16.463 He's a joke dealer. 00:07:16.463 --> 00:07:19.580 You must be talking about Gus. 00:07:19.580 --> 00:07:23.145 Yo, Gus, somebody's here to see you. 00:07:26.696 --> 00:07:28.992 Very pleased to meet you, James. 00:07:30.630 --> 00:07:34.854 I, ah, heard you can move jokes. 00:07:34.854 --> 00:07:41.437 Moving jokes is a lot to do, it all depends on the quality of the product. 00:08:01.656 --> 00:08:08.262 Kim Kardashian - she does have excessively large buttocks. 00:08:08.549 --> 00:08:10.956 We have a deal. 00:08:11.390 --> 00:08:16.688 I will purchase all of the jokes. 00:08:16.978 --> 00:08:19.175 All but one. 00:08:20.515 --> 00:08:23.055 This one's not for sale. 00:08:23.055 --> 00:08:24.904 This is the purest joke I've ever written. 00:08:24.904 --> 00:08:31.359 It's so funny, you'll laugh your ass off. 00:08:33.429 --> 00:08:39.640 Very well, would you like some chicken? 00:08:41.706 --> 00:08:43.719 Jimmy, 30 seconds. 00:08:46.454 --> 00:08:50.023 Jimmy, we don't have any jokes for the show. 00:08:50.023 --> 00:08:52.050 What happened to all of them? 00:08:52.050 --> 00:08:53.392 I don' know. 00:08:53.392 --> 00:08:55.649 What do you mean you don't know? 00:08:55.649 --> 00:08:57.409 The show is about to start. You gotta do something! 00:08:57.449 --> 00:08:59.745 It's time, Jimmy. 00:09:03.433 --> 00:09:08.148 Jimmy Fallon! 00:09:21.331 --> 00:09:24.928 Thank you very much, everybody! 00:09:24.928 --> 00:09:32.046 And welcome to the show, a lot of fun things out there to ah, joke about... 00:09:32.434 --> 00:09:48.089 Honey-Boo Bool, Michael Bubble, Honey-Buble 00:09:54.165 --> 00:09:56.446 This guy's taking over the Tonight Show? 00:09:58.671 --> 00:10:02.366 Boo, Bitch! 00:10:02.837 --> 00:10:16.188 Boo! 00:10:25.594 --> 00:10:27.120 Knock, knock 00:10:28.365 --> 00:10:29.746 Who is the one who knocks? 00:10:32.883 --> 00:10:35.420 I am the one who knocks. 00:10:37.450 --> 00:10:38.956 James... 00:10:41.148 --> 00:10:47.583 The name is Falzonberg; I want my jokes back. 00:10:48.760 --> 00:10:51.941 I am afraid I cannot do that. 00:10:53.930 --> 00:10:58.376 Unless you are willing to part with your purest joke that is. 00:11:10.946 --> 00:11:15.517 Deal, go ahead. 00:11:15.517 --> 00:11:19.847 Laugh your ass off. 00:11:26.167 --> 00:11:39.549 Laughter 00:11:58.368 --> 00:12:06.116 Applause 00:12:06.116 --> 00:12:14.391 You're telling me that Jimmy Fallon, who was selling these jokes this whole time? 00:12:14.500 --> 00:12:16.820 -ding!- 00:12:22.329 --> 00:12:25.561 Do you want me to report him to NBC? 00:12:30.941 --> 00:12:34.452 Do you want me to kill Jimmy Fallon? 00:12:34.452 --> 00:12:45.911 Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding 00:12:45.911 --> 00:12:49.289 Joking Bad 00:12:49.289 --> 00:12:51.116 Late Night with Jimmy Fallon 00:12:51.116 --> 99:59:59.999 Latenightwithjimmyfallon.com