This is Scott Mills on BBC Radio 1
We're with Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg about to play the playground insults game.
They're now sitting opposite one another;
I would like you to take it in turns to
throw insults at each other; if one of you
laughs, you're out the game - no pressure.
Who wants to start? Does anyone have a
decent insult knocking 'round their head?
(Mark) I'll start.
(Will) Aw, this one's huge...
(Scott) Okay, Mark's going to start.
We're going to step out of the way now.
Okay, here we go. (Presenter) Good luck gentlemen.
(Scott) Stare each other out.
(Will) Mark, to serve.
(Mark) I'm getting ready.
(Mark) You're not a nice person.
You smell like baby barf.
(Presenters giggle)
(Mark) Your hair looks like a Brillo pad that I wanna scrub my sack with.
You wish you could... scrub your sack,
with my Brillo head if you had a sack,
you sackless bitch.
Can I say that?
(Presenter) I think that one's on the line.
(Mark) You already did. Twerp.
(Mark laughs)
(Presenter) Okay, compose.
(Mark) Yeah. (Mark breathes in slowly)
You're a wonderfully looking human being.
(Presenter) He's being sarcastic.
You're a terrible actor.
In your movies, I can see you, in your coverage,
mouthing the line of the other actor,
silently to yourself.
Your blue eyes make my brown eyes brown.
Again I think he's being sarcastic.
(Will) Your momma... raised you well.
You are a poor man's Mike Myers.
(Commentators laugh, gasp)
Your last movie... really was... underwhelming.
(Mark) Jack Black will kick your ass.
You got a great ass, for a guy from Boston.
Can I go again?
You can go again
if you've got it in you
If I was on a desert island, and I had a
choice between eating a Wahl-burger and a
(Mark loses it)
a raw dead fish, I would eat the dead fish.
Your Anchorman mustache was made... from...
Howard's pubic hair.
(Will) Oh, your friend Howard?
(Mark) Mhm.
(Will) You're so old, when you were a kid
rainbows were black and white.
(Presenters giggling)
Hmm, that doesn't sound very original.
Ben Stiller... said every time he did a joke,
you wanted a new take, because he was
funnier than you.
(Mark) I thought he was gonna jump on me.
New Kids on the Block just called, and
they talked to Ace, and they wanted you as
a backup dancer but they chose Ace.
(Presenters, Mark, laughing)
(Scott) Alright, well, that's definite
laughter from Mark there, so Will Ferrell
wins the playground insults game today with
the low-blow about a nineties boy band.
Mark and Will, thank you so much for
playing the insults game, it was pretty
tense at times, but I very much enjoyed it.
(Will) That... it's much more difficult
than you think. (Mark) It was my favourite thing ever.