WEBVTT
00:00:09.549 --> 00:00:20.343
[gong]
00:00:41.240 --> 00:00:52.937
[gong]
00:01:11.657 --> 00:01:22.712
[gong]
00:01:41.067 --> 00:01:42.260
So, good afternoon,
00:01:44.260 --> 00:01:48.881
dear respected Thay, dear beloved
brothers and sisters and friends
00:01:50.790 --> 00:01:56.118
Today is Thursday, the 26th of July 2018
00:02:00.235 --> 00:02:05.689
We are in the Still Water Hall,
meditation hall of Upper Hamlet
00:02:07.248 --> 00:02:14.259
and this is the last Dharma Talk of the
third week of our annual Summer Retreat.
00:02:14.851 --> 00:02:16.875
and it's very hot.
00:02:18.784 --> 00:02:24.632
Thank you for coming to sit here,
I try to keep it short and sweet,
00:02:25.190 --> 00:02:29.080
so we can all go out
and enjoy some fresh air after this.
00:02:30.722 --> 00:02:35.107
Today I'll be speaking
about the four Brahmavirahas,
00:02:35.697 --> 00:02:41.878
the four immeasurable minds
that really are a guide
00:02:42.183 --> 00:02:48.315
to how we can respond
to life situations with love
00:02:49.012 --> 00:02:50.505
and I think it's a hot day,
00:02:50.937 --> 00:02:53.956
so maybe we have to respond
with love by keeping it short.
00:02:56.592 --> 00:03:01.045
Today we celebrate the Full Moon festival
together, here in Upper Hamlet
00:03:02.894 --> 00:03:05.927
and that's why we have
the Dharma talk in the afternoon,
00:03:07.185 --> 00:03:13.135
so the friends from the New Hamlet don't
need to ride the bus back and forth twice.
00:03:14.481 --> 00:03:16.689
An expression of love and understanding.
00:03:18.258 --> 00:03:19.265
A good start.
00:03:21.246 --> 00:03:24.372
We started this week with a smile,
do you remember?
00:03:25.598 --> 00:03:30.014
Sister Hoi Nghiem shared how
every morning when she recites the ghata,
00:03:31.570 --> 00:03:33.168
waking up this morning I smile,
00:03:33.799 --> 00:03:36.189
24 brand new hours are before me,
00:03:37.547 --> 00:03:39.585
I vow to live them fully each moment
00:03:39.585 --> 00:03:42.530
and look at all beings
with the eyes of compassion.
00:03:43.793 --> 00:03:46.333
And when she notices
that she forgot to smile,
00:03:46.656 --> 00:03:49.933
she will lie down again
and start all over again.
00:03:51.076 --> 00:03:55.171
So my question is, how many times
did you lie down again this week?
00:03:57.168 --> 00:03:58.452
Did you remember?
00:04:00.297 --> 00:04:04.410
But that story definitely brought
a smile to our face, didn't it?
00:04:07.128 --> 00:04:08.406
Anyway,
00:04:11.463 --> 00:04:18.904
in case you missed the chance
to smile, we're waking up.
00:04:19.689 --> 00:04:24.486
I thought, maybe we start by giving you
a chance to smile
00:04:26.999 --> 00:04:29.010
and to enjoy your smile.
00:04:42.758 --> 00:04:45.828
A smile makes us feel better
straight away.
00:04:46.332 --> 00:04:48.308
whether we're the ones who receive it,
00:04:48.794 --> 00:04:50.424
or the ones who offer it.
00:04:50.975 --> 00:04:53.706
or the ones who just smile
because, why not?
00:04:54.707 --> 00:04:56.200
Why would we not smile?
00:04:56.660 --> 00:04:58.963
It makes us feel better straight away.
00:05:02.364 --> 00:05:05.421
and as we heard,
it's the best way to start the day
00:05:06.857 --> 00:05:09.277
A smile can even turn "Monday morning",
00:05:09.580 --> 00:05:12.458
if that still exists, nowadays
that we work from home
00:05:13.047 --> 00:05:15.664
Monday morning, not a too pleasant morning
00:05:16.323 --> 00:05:21.005
and I hope that it can also turn
a hot Thursday afternoon
00:05:21.805 --> 00:05:23.432
into a pleasant afternoon.
00:05:25.760 --> 00:05:30.010
Let's start with a short meditation
to bring our mind home to our body.
00:05:30.611 --> 00:05:32.095
Make yourself comfortable.
00:05:38.867 --> 00:05:42.098
and let's bring some loving
kindness to ourselves
00:05:43.860 --> 00:05:49.585
by, during the meditation,
going through our body
00:05:50.506 --> 00:05:54.669
and whenever we encounter
a feeling of tension,
00:05:56.209 --> 00:06:00.059
on the outbreath, to relax the tension,
to soften it
00:06:01.021 --> 00:06:04.889
and to smile to it, to say,
"I know you're there,
00:06:06.688 --> 00:06:09.961
I love you too, you are also me.
00:06:13.339 --> 00:06:16.589
So let's start by enjoying
a sound of the bell.
00:06:28.998 --> 00:06:39.895
[gong]
00:06:59.328 --> 00:07:03.302
Let us become aware of the air
as it flows into and out of our body,
00:07:06.232 --> 00:07:08.546
and smile to our inbreath and outbreath
00:07:14.498 --> 00:07:17.944
knowing that we are alive in this moment.
00:07:25.821 --> 00:07:27.399
Let us become aware of our body
00:07:29.040 --> 00:07:32.099
and scan our body from the top of our head
00:07:32.910 --> 00:07:35.251
all the way down to the tip of our toes.
00:07:38.970 --> 00:07:44.279
And we sweep along any tension
we may find on our way
00:07:46.771 --> 00:07:49.362
Maybe there's tension in our head,
00:07:50.547 --> 00:07:52.753
maybe behind our forehead,
00:07:55.968 --> 00:07:59.140
or around our eyes, behind our eyes,
00:08:03.101 --> 00:08:04.603
around our ears
00:08:07.951 --> 00:08:09.336
our jaws,
00:08:13.046 --> 00:08:14.514
maybe our neck,
00:08:17.077 --> 00:08:20.211
and on every outbreath, we smile,
00:08:22.301 --> 00:08:29.745
which helps to soften
the tension we encounter.
00:08:34.591 --> 00:08:36.174
Become aware of our shoulders,
00:08:39.965 --> 00:08:42.314
and then sweep down into the arms,
00:08:45.769 --> 00:08:49.214
our hands and our fingers.
00:08:51.002 --> 00:08:54.900
On every outbreath, softening the tension
00:08:55.392 --> 00:08:57.614
by offering it a smile.
00:09:05.406 --> 00:09:07.522
We sweep down our trunk
00:09:08.674 --> 00:09:11.023
our back and our front.
00:09:14.774 --> 00:09:18.103
And then the lower part of our body,
00:09:19.887 --> 00:09:23.194
the buttocks and the abdomen.
00:09:26.755 --> 00:09:32.172
Softening any tension we may find
in the buttocks or in the abdomen
00:09:34.112 --> 00:09:36.037
by offering it a smile.
00:09:44.979 --> 00:09:46.681
Then we sweep down into the legs,
00:09:49.121 --> 00:09:51.059
all the way down into the feet,
00:09:52.608 --> 00:09:54.734
to the tip of the toes.
00:09:57.268 --> 00:10:03.488
And here too, softening any tension
we may encounter,
00:10:06.352 --> 00:10:08.348
and offering it a smile.
00:10:18.171 --> 00:10:20.229
Now become aware that we have arrived
00:10:20.893 --> 00:10:23.139
on our chair or on our cushion
00:10:23.629 --> 00:10:26.035
or on the ground,
if you're sitting on the ground.
00:10:32.165 --> 00:10:36.896
Our body is here
and our mind is in the now,
00:10:37.031 --> 00:10:38.431
in the present moment.
00:10:47.758 --> 00:10:49.699
Body and mind, relaxed.
00:11:06.926 --> 00:11:12.026
And we like to allow
a smile to be born on our lips.
00:11:41.745 --> 00:11:53.066
[gong]
00:12:26.661 --> 00:12:32.185
We usually smile when we want
to acknowledge the presence of someone,
00:12:33.547 --> 00:12:35.247
of someone we meet,
00:12:35.872 --> 00:12:38.787
it is very common to smile then.
00:12:40.090 --> 00:12:43.033
When we walk around
the grounds of Plum Village
00:12:43.921 --> 00:12:47.120
we're bound to meet people,
because there are many of us, here,
00:12:47.961 --> 00:12:51.864
So we have a lot of opportunities
to smile throughout the day.
00:12:55.053 --> 00:12:59.302
A smile or a nod of the head,
something like this.
00:13:00.151 --> 00:13:03.949
In some cultures they do that,
not a smile.
00:13:07.371 --> 00:13:10.337
At home, when we walk in the streets
and we meet a neighbor,
00:13:10.659 --> 00:13:14.586
we also smile, even if they're
on the other side of the street
00:13:15.345 --> 00:13:17.063
Maybe we wave as well,
00:13:17.989 --> 00:13:19.868
but often, we just smile.
00:13:20.386 --> 00:13:23.169
To let them know, "I see you,"
00:13:24.015 --> 00:13:28.709
"I've seen you,
I acknowledge your presence,"
00:13:30.371 --> 00:13:32.087
and this is very important.
00:13:39.437 --> 00:13:44.038
Everybody needs love, needs to be loved,
00:13:45.027 --> 00:13:48.212
and everybody has a need to love as well.
00:13:49.390 --> 00:13:51.309
But very often, the way we love
00:13:55.040 --> 00:13:58.401
ends up imprisoning the other person,
00:14:01.968 --> 00:14:04.475
and also ourselves.
00:14:05.353 --> 00:14:10.465
So how can we love and be free
at the same time?
00:14:24.584 --> 00:14:28.689
What may happen when we meet somebody
and we offer them a smile,
00:14:29.997 --> 00:14:31.784
tears come to their eyes.
00:14:32.936 --> 00:14:37.594
Because they have a feeling
that they haven't been seen
00:14:38.849 --> 00:14:42.718
or acknowledged in their being,
for a long time.
00:14:44.382 --> 00:14:45.794
We may live with other people
00:14:47.517 --> 00:14:48.775
but we're so busy,
00:14:49.685 --> 00:14:52.569
we watch many things,
00:14:53.528 --> 00:14:56.979
we look at many things, but
we don't look at the people we live with.
00:14:59.392 --> 00:15:01.123
We already heard it this week,
00:15:01.744 --> 00:15:06.916
but it also strikes me every time
I travel, for instance,
00:15:07.403 --> 00:15:12.536
and I'm in the departure lounge,
there are many people,
00:15:13.617 --> 00:15:16.171
and they're all sitting
with their gadgets,
00:15:17.983 --> 00:15:20.880
Last time, when I came into the lounge,
00:15:21.342 --> 00:15:25.719
I tried to guess who was with who.
That was quite difficult!
00:15:25.899 --> 00:15:29.078
Because they're sitting with their
back to each other, doing this,
00:15:29.078 --> 00:15:31.711
and I thought,
I don't think they came together.
00:15:32.249 --> 00:15:34.845
But when it is time to board,
they speak to each other
00:15:34.845 --> 00:15:37.575
and they go off together to board.
00:15:38.031 --> 00:15:41.115
I said, "apparently
they did come together."
00:15:42.979 --> 00:15:44.851
But it's difficult to tell.
00:15:46.639 --> 00:15:50.388
Usually I can tell
if children and parents are together,
00:15:50.388 --> 00:15:53.000
because they sit together
and they may say something,
00:15:53.000 --> 00:15:56.486
but they're also quite...
00:16:02.937 --> 00:16:06.656
immersed in whatever
they're doing with their gadgets
00:16:08.293 --> 00:16:09.596
This is such a pity,
00:16:10.051 --> 00:16:14.589
because the most precious thing we can
offer each other is our true presence.
00:16:16.285 --> 00:16:22.655
And when we sit in a departure lounge,
a waiting room,
00:16:23.576 --> 00:16:27.496
we have nowhere to go and nothing to do
until we board the plane.
00:16:28.753 --> 00:16:31.814
It's a very good opportunity
to be there for each other.
00:16:32.747 --> 00:16:35.606
and to just offer each other's presence.
00:16:41.279 --> 00:16:46.970
Thay gave us a mantra that says
"I am here for you."
00:16:47.648 --> 00:16:52.265
This is not a mantra in Sanskrit
or some other language,
00:16:53.003 --> 00:16:57.524
this is a mantra in colloquial language,
00:16:57.869 --> 00:16:59.173
"I am here for you."
00:16:59.743 --> 00:17:01.535
In French, "Je suis là pour toi,"
00:17:02.517 --> 00:17:05.290
and you can translate it
into your own language.
00:17:06.787 --> 00:17:08.657
and to go to our loved ones,
00:17:09.145 --> 00:17:13.470
first, bring our mind home to our body,
as we did just now.
00:17:14.217 --> 00:17:19.014
to be truly present, and then say:
"Darling, I'm here for you."
00:17:22.141 --> 00:17:26.607
and then I leave it up to you
to discover what happens after that,
00:17:27.253 --> 00:17:29.980
and then you can let us know next year.
00:17:31.044 --> 00:17:32.453
I'm truly here for you.
00:17:37.032 --> 00:17:43.295
To hear, to listen, to understand.
00:17:47.135 --> 00:17:49.656
True Love comes from understanding,
00:17:50.141 --> 00:17:52.770
and in order to understand,
we need to listen carefully.
00:17:54.000 --> 00:17:56.913
We need to listen to what's being said
inbetween the lines
00:18:00.418 --> 00:18:04.527
At the beginning of the week,
we chanted Namo Avalokiteshvaraya,
00:18:05.734 --> 00:18:10.226
we invoked the name
of the Bodhisattva Avalokitha,
00:18:10.879 --> 00:18:12.891
who has the capacity to listen,
00:18:13.770 --> 00:18:18.294
and, also, to hear what's being said
and what is left unsaid.
00:18:20.160 --> 00:18:25.359
To really listen,
because our loved one, or our friend,
00:18:25.916 --> 00:18:27.431
our parent or our child,
00:18:27.880 --> 00:18:29.807
may be saying something in words,
00:18:30.975 --> 00:18:33.006
may be saying one thing in words,
00:18:33.571 --> 00:18:36.692
but their eyes may be saying
something else.
00:18:38.950 --> 00:18:43.592
So, being present and looking into
their eyes, maybe their body language,
00:18:44.644 --> 00:18:48.223
we will be able to hear
what's being left unsaid,
00:18:49.114 --> 00:18:51.426
but what actually wants to be heard.
00:18:52.707 --> 00:18:54.277
What wants to be heard.
00:19:03.348 --> 00:19:08.154
So let us enjoy a sound of the bell,
00:19:08.841 --> 00:19:12.632
and offer ourselves our true presence
one more time.
00:19:12.991 --> 00:19:14.871
Bringing our mind home to our body.
00:19:18.155 --> 00:19:20.137
"Hello body, I'm here for you",
00:19:21.404 --> 00:19:24.715
making ourselves present for ourselves.
00:19:35.933 --> 00:19:47.667
[gong]
00:20:17.598 --> 00:20:19.373
When I wake up in the morning,
00:20:20.966 --> 00:20:24.760
like my sister,
I don't always remember to smile.
00:20:25.975 --> 00:20:29.317
But I remember smiling in the morning,
better,
00:20:29.683 --> 00:20:33.156
if I remember to smile
before I go to sleep.
00:20:34.299 --> 00:20:37.419
So, if you didn't remember to smile
in the morning,
00:20:37.860 --> 00:20:40.069
try smiling at night,
00:20:40.069 --> 00:20:42.279
and you may also remember better.
00:20:43.729 --> 00:20:45.962
But then, when I get to the bathroom,
00:20:46.265 --> 00:20:47.597
I see a mirror.
00:20:48.261 --> 00:20:51.595
When I first came to Plum Village,
we didn't have so many mirrors,
00:20:51.595 --> 00:20:53.258
but now we have more mirrors,
00:20:53.319 --> 00:20:54.901
so I have a chance to see myself.
00:20:57.335 --> 00:21:00.477
Some of you who have been
coming for a long time, remember this.
00:21:04.314 --> 00:21:09.002
We don't have any hair, I don't need
to put on make up and things like that
00:21:10.003 --> 00:21:13.422
so I look in the mirror and I think,
why should I look in the mirror?
00:21:13.595 --> 00:21:15.902
Oh, I could smile at myself, why not?
00:21:16.173 --> 00:21:17.267
"Hello!
00:21:19.629 --> 00:21:23.019
Good morning, how are you?"
Why not?
00:21:23.019 --> 00:21:24.496
So that's what I do.
00:21:25.417 --> 00:21:30.165
I forget to smile when I wake up,
I remember when I look into the mirror.
00:21:31.233 --> 00:21:35.175
Try it. It's bit kind of awkward
in the beginning, smiling at yourself
00:21:35.797 --> 00:21:37.283
but it's worth the while.
00:21:37.942 --> 00:21:40.696
If we practise,
if we're talking about true love
00:21:41.091 --> 00:21:43.458
maybe we can start by loving ourselves.
00:21:44.233 --> 00:21:47.458
So the least we can do,
is offering ourselves a smile.
00:21:49.373 --> 00:21:53.971
And saying, ok, I know you're there,
and I'm so happy.
00:21:54.315 --> 00:21:55.553
How are you today?
00:21:59.594 --> 00:22:00.662
When we smile,
00:22:03.759 --> 00:22:06.797
in the gatha, we smile to a new day.
00:22:08.415 --> 00:22:12.047
In the gatha, that's the little poem
that the sister recited,
00:22:12.595 --> 00:22:14.504
waking up this morning, I smile,
00:22:14.940 --> 00:22:18.191
it's a little poem that we recite
when we wake up in the morning.
00:22:19.290 --> 00:22:20.867
When we wake up in the morning,
00:22:20.890 --> 00:22:24.779
because we want to water
the seed of compassion in us.
00:22:25.244 --> 00:22:27.577
To look at all beings with compassion,
00:22:28.403 --> 00:22:32.017
and I thought, well, since I'm
the first being to meet this morning,
00:22:33.273 --> 00:22:34.995
why not smile to myself?
00:22:37.143 --> 00:22:40.929
So we wake up
and we can smile to the new day.
00:22:41.752 --> 00:22:43.272
This is a new day.
00:22:46.268 --> 00:22:49.741
We could reflect,
how did I live my day yesterday?
00:22:50.788 --> 00:22:51.961
This is a new day.
00:22:52.541 --> 00:22:55.283
I can live it
with a little bit more compassion
00:22:57.705 --> 00:22:59.636
for myself and for others.
00:23:01.944 --> 00:23:06.087
We smile to the people around us,
our loved ones, and smile to nature.
00:23:06.442 --> 00:23:08.928
Sometimes it seems much easier
00:23:08.928 --> 00:23:12.048
to smile to a singing bird
or to a tree or to a flower
00:23:12.722 --> 00:23:14.953
than to the person who's right next to us.
00:23:17.044 --> 00:23:21.669
However, the person who's right next to us
is also a flower.
00:23:22.876 --> 00:23:27.129
And our smile will make her,
him, them, bloom.
00:23:29.951 --> 00:23:34.862
So we can practice smiling to nature
00:23:35.415 --> 00:23:40.640
in order to develop
the capacity of smiling.
00:23:43.386 --> 00:23:46.708
We can also smile to our joy,
as well as our suffering.
00:23:47.961 --> 00:23:51.191
And then we can just smile
for the joy of smiling.
00:23:53.080 --> 00:23:54.305
Many years ago,
00:23:57.124 --> 00:24:01.417
this was before I ordained,
but I already knew of the practice,
00:24:02.725 --> 00:24:04.179
I was walking down the street,
00:24:04.683 --> 00:24:07.293
and all of a sudden somebody stopped
and turned around,
00:24:07.293 --> 00:24:09.431
and I thought,
Oh, maybe I know this person,
00:24:09.608 --> 00:24:11.727
so I turned around and said:
"Do I know you?"
00:24:12.388 --> 00:24:15.766
He said: "No - such a beautiful smile,"
and I said: "Oh? Ok."
00:24:16.633 --> 00:24:19.138
And I thought,
I didn't even know I was smiling,
00:24:19.498 --> 00:24:23.596
but I was smiling
for no reason whatsoever,
00:24:24.532 --> 00:24:30.758
just smile because I was feeling well,
I guess.
00:24:31.114 --> 00:24:31.856
You know?
00:24:32.157 --> 00:24:33.253
I was smiling.
00:24:33.478 --> 00:24:37.069
So we don't need a specific
or a particular reason to smile,
00:24:38.578 --> 00:24:40.703
we can smile just like that.
00:24:46.292 --> 00:24:51.695
Thay said: "Sometimes our smile
is born from love,
00:24:52.181 --> 00:24:55.332
and sometimes love
is born from our smile."
00:24:57.360 --> 00:24:58.430
I like that.
00:25:04.759 --> 00:25:06.894
So true love has four aspects,
00:25:07.134 --> 00:25:09.821
and these four aspects
are within ourselves.
00:25:10.110 --> 00:25:12.970
They are within ourselves
in the form of a seed.
00:25:13.882 --> 00:25:15.850
We already heard about seeds this week,
00:25:16.298 --> 00:25:17.699
in our store consciousness,
00:25:18.146 --> 00:25:20.387
that need to be watered in order to bloom,
00:25:20.827 --> 00:25:21.968
into a flower.
00:25:22.163 --> 00:25:24.733
That is to say, a seed is a potential.
00:25:25.335 --> 00:25:30.781
We have the capacity to love,
00:25:30.844 --> 00:25:33.424
to have loving kindness in our heart.
00:25:33.708 --> 00:25:36.331
We have the capacity to be compassionate.
00:25:36.915 --> 00:25:39.133
We have the capacity to feel joy,
00:25:39.869 --> 00:25:45.423
we have the capacity to feel equanimity
and to be inclusive.
00:25:46.612 --> 00:25:50.670
It's in seed form, the potential,
and when it's watered,
00:25:51.559 --> 00:25:53.467
when the seed gets water,
00:25:56.205 --> 00:25:59.746
then it manifests as a mental formation,
00:25:59.912 --> 00:26:02.949
or in other words, as a state of mind.
00:26:04.506 --> 00:26:08.476
So these four aspects of love,
we call them:
00:26:10.358 --> 00:26:15.448
the Four Immeasurable States of Mind,
the immeasurable minds.
00:26:16.807 --> 00:26:23.395
And they're immeasurable
because we can extend these aspects
00:26:23.960 --> 00:26:27.395
to all beings and to everything that is,
00:26:27.911 --> 00:26:29.483
including Mother Earth.
00:26:29.984 --> 00:26:31.518
They have no limit,
00:26:32.222 --> 00:26:34.739
the unlimited minds.
00:26:37.067 --> 00:26:42.917
They're within us, so it's not
something we have to get somewhere,
00:26:43.466 --> 00:26:45.781
they are in us in potential.
00:26:46.468 --> 00:26:48.658
So it's a matter of watering them.
00:26:49.301 --> 00:26:54.554
We can water the seeds by practising
Deep Looking and Deep Listening
00:26:57.305 --> 00:27:03.839
The first aspect is Maïtri,
also called Loving Kindness
00:27:04.471 --> 00:27:07.155
or, here in Plum Village,
we sometimes call it Love.
00:27:07.514 --> 00:27:08.570
Just Love.
00:27:11.509 --> 00:27:16.405
It is the intention
and the capacity to love.
00:27:17.784 --> 00:27:21.490
We may have an intention, but that doesn't
mean we have the capacity.
00:27:22.083 --> 00:27:24.599
The capacity, we develop.
00:27:27.187 --> 00:27:31.715
And the capacity to love
stems from understanding.
00:27:37.409 --> 00:27:39.945
The capacity to offer joy and happiness,
00:27:46.767 --> 00:27:52.040
in order to offer happiness to others,
we have to understand them.
00:27:52.338 --> 00:27:55.252
We have to know their aspirations,
their dreams,
00:27:58.391 --> 00:27:59.402
their hopes.
00:28:01.203 --> 00:28:04.864
What is it they hope for in their lives?
What is it?
00:28:07.453 --> 00:28:12.015
Sometimes our parents have had dreams
for their own future, as a young person,
00:28:12.832 --> 00:28:16.449
but maybe conditions were not sufficient
for them to realize it.
00:28:17.395 --> 00:28:19.365
Then they hope, they wish so much
00:28:19.840 --> 00:28:26.071
that their children will be able
to realize their dreams,
00:28:27.242 --> 00:28:31.308
but we may have our own dream
which may not be the same,
00:28:32.274 --> 00:28:35.044
and although our parents
want the best for us,
00:28:36.400 --> 00:28:40.568
actually, we suffer a little bit.
00:28:42.196 --> 00:28:43.509
We suffer a little bit.
00:28:48.282 --> 00:28:52.903
Here in Plum Village, Thay teaches us
that we as elders need to look deeply
00:28:53.063 --> 00:28:58.240
to understand the aspirations and the joys
and the suffering of our younger siblings.
00:28:59.796 --> 00:29:01.884
So we have to listen to them.
00:29:03.823 --> 00:29:08.168
And sometimes I encourage
my younger sisters in the Dharma
00:29:08.941 --> 00:29:13.102
to do things that I think will help them
to make progress on the Path.
00:29:14.791 --> 00:29:16.445
And that can cause them suffering.
00:29:19.466 --> 00:29:25.138
So as a practise as an elder,
I'm practising looking and listening
00:29:25.783 --> 00:29:28.170
in order to understand
what their dreams are
00:29:29.262 --> 00:29:33.154
and to see what would be
the next step on their path,
00:29:33.432 --> 00:29:35.244
and how can I offer support.
00:29:46.463 --> 00:29:51.902
So this is my practise
of making progress on the path,
00:29:51.902 --> 00:29:54.472
is, to listen to my younger ones.
00:29:55.577 --> 00:29:57.853
Here in Plum Village,
we celebrate Christmas,
00:29:58.676 --> 00:30:03.563
and it's an opportunity to offer a gift
to one of our sisters
00:30:05.839 --> 00:30:09.585
A few years ago I went shopping
with another sister
00:30:10.493 --> 00:30:12.098
who had just arrived,
00:30:13.147 --> 00:30:15.610
and then she looked
at what I put in the basket
00:30:16.545 --> 00:30:18.869
and she said "Sister Dieu Nghiem,
00:30:18.880 --> 00:30:21.796
that is not your taste at all,
why do you buy those things?"
00:30:22.723 --> 00:30:25.410
and I said: "Because this is
what my sister likes."
00:30:29.194 --> 00:30:30.419
And I realized,
00:30:32.266 --> 00:30:37.889
maybe in the past I have offered things
to friends, to my siblings, that I like,
00:30:38.429 --> 00:30:42.171
this would be a wonderful present,
because it's so beautiful, you know?
00:30:43.007 --> 00:30:47.915
And I give it to them,
and now in hindsight, I think, hm....
00:30:49.651 --> 00:30:53.573
maybe that was a present that came
from a lot of love
00:30:54.353 --> 00:30:56.484
and a little lack of understanding.
00:30:59.190 --> 00:31:03.743
But I remember
they all accepted it very gracefully,
00:31:06.867 --> 00:31:11.227
so, they may have realized
it was a good intention.
00:31:14.642 --> 00:31:16.784
Maïtri is also friendship.
00:31:17.458 --> 00:31:21.555
There's the word Mitra
that's connected to Maïtri,
00:31:22.076 --> 00:31:23.971
and it means Spiritual Friend.
00:31:26.161 --> 00:31:31.905
A friend is somebody, a heart friend,
somebody that understands us,
00:31:32.388 --> 00:31:34.657
who understands our dreams
and our aspirations,
00:31:34.919 --> 00:31:36.364
our joys and our sufferings,
00:31:37.307 --> 00:31:39.065
with whom we can share from our heart
00:31:41.637 --> 00:31:45.565
with whom we can share our joys
and also our suffering
00:31:47.477 --> 00:31:51.016
and who will listen
without judging or reacting
00:31:51.979 --> 00:31:53.720
and who will not give advice.
00:31:56.500 --> 00:31:57.949
"You know what you should do"
00:32:03.675 --> 00:32:07.105
But also, it's on the path in our life,
00:32:08.040 --> 00:32:12.386
it's also that they can point out to us
00:32:15.393 --> 00:32:17.032
something that we don't see.
00:32:18.482 --> 00:32:22.212
and they can point that out to us
in a way that we can hear it.
00:32:23.715 --> 00:32:29.172
So, to be a true friend,
to be a friend on the spiritual path,
00:32:32.291 --> 00:32:36.408
it needs Deep Looking and Deep Listening,
and some understanding,
00:32:36.781 --> 00:32:42.483
in order to point something out in a way
that it can be received.
00:32:45.184 --> 00:32:47.485
I also noticed on my path,
00:32:48.512 --> 00:32:53.183
I have given some input and...
00:32:56.271 --> 00:32:58.812
it wasn't in a way it could be received.
00:32:59.413 --> 00:33:01.621
although I gave it
with the best of intentions
00:33:03.224 --> 00:33:08.397
so I'm becoming more and more mindful
00:33:09.255 --> 00:33:13.291
of how I give some encouragements.
00:33:14.983 --> 00:33:19.063
However well meant, it needs to be
in the right way at the right time
00:33:22.656 --> 00:33:26.452
But we may have a spiritual friend
who we know very well.
00:33:28.078 --> 00:33:29.578
She can say a little bit more,
00:33:29.968 --> 00:33:32.819
because we have this friendship
that holds all this
00:33:33.812 --> 00:33:37.962
and she can say,
like one of my sisters said,
00:33:38.035 --> 00:33:42.307
"well, you could look at the habit energy.
00:33:43.400 --> 00:33:47.196
One of your habit energies is,
sometimes you're quite impulsive.
00:33:48.690 --> 00:33:50.535
You react spontaneously to something,
00:33:51.716 --> 00:33:54.145
but it may not always be
the right thing to do.
00:33:55.721 --> 00:33:58.003
And I said, "Thank you,
I will look into that."
00:33:59.273 --> 00:34:01.319
I know it came from her care.
00:34:02.888 --> 00:34:06.523
So, having a good friend with whom
we can share, so that we can grow.
00:34:09.172 --> 00:34:12.464
Our heart can become larger,
we can embrace more,
00:34:13.600 --> 00:34:15.452
we can find more happiness
00:34:16.760 --> 00:34:18.343
for ourselves and for others
00:34:21.090 --> 00:34:25.308
So, to give some feedback,
00:34:26.086 --> 00:34:28.425
we have to be aware of
00:34:28.712 --> 00:34:31.268
from where we are giving that feedback.
00:34:34.891 --> 00:34:38.747
Sometimes someone in our community
may be passing through a difficult time,
00:34:39.771 --> 00:34:43.062
therefore also cause some difficulties,
some suffering to others
00:34:46.408 --> 00:34:53.373
and I'm becoming more and more aware
of what this touches in me.
00:34:54.542 --> 00:34:56.967
Sometimes it touches a kind of annoyance,
00:34:57.780 --> 00:35:01.190
you know, can she not take better care
of her suffering,
00:35:02.089 --> 00:35:04.742
instead of causing others also to suffer?
00:35:06.757 --> 00:35:12.358
And then, not so long ago, I thought,
wait a minute.
00:35:13.716 --> 00:35:17.740
If I were suffering, and somebody wanted
to point something out to me,
00:35:18.382 --> 00:35:20.865
how would I like to be approached?
00:35:23.984 --> 00:35:26.271
Then I thought, with kindness.
00:35:27.694 --> 00:35:28.658
With some love.
00:35:30.096 --> 00:35:34.188
So I took some time to be with my sister,
00:35:35.316 --> 00:35:37.511
to be able to touch her suffering.
00:35:38.919 --> 00:35:40.179
What is her suffering?
00:35:40.564 --> 00:35:43.392
The little I know about the roots,
can I just touch it?
00:35:45.735 --> 00:35:47.520
and then I could interact with her,
00:35:47.980 --> 00:35:50.689
and a big smile came up on her lips,
00:35:51.724 --> 00:35:57.147
and I thought, yes, that was
because I came with love in my heart,
00:35:58.641 --> 00:36:01.072
with compassion, and not with annoyance.
00:36:02.763 --> 00:36:05.289
and I thought just kindness,
00:36:06.414 --> 00:36:08.148
just plain kindness,
00:36:11.107 --> 00:36:12.665
how much does it take,
00:36:13.066 --> 00:36:17.664
and I asked myself, why does it take me
so long sometimes?
00:36:19.690 --> 00:36:24.895
I realized, it takes long
because I'm not very kind to myself.
00:36:26.131 --> 00:36:28.861
How can I be kind to others
if I'm not kind to myself?
00:36:29.324 --> 00:36:31.143
Can I have a little bit more kindness
00:36:31.143 --> 00:36:33.564
and a little bit more compassion
to watch myself?
00:36:38.184 --> 00:36:43.047
So lately I've been practising to look
at myself with the eyes of compassion.
00:36:46.263 --> 00:36:51.025
and to see,
why do I think the way I think,
00:36:52.168 --> 00:36:54.599
why do I speak the way I speak?
00:36:55.345 --> 00:36:57.753
Why do I act the way I act,
00:36:59.056 --> 00:37:01.519
in my interactions with others.
00:37:03.469 --> 00:37:05.211
What is happening for me?
00:37:10.073 --> 00:37:14.309
And when I look and I see my shortcomings,
00:37:16.543 --> 00:37:19.909
maybe a little impatience,
00:37:22.777 --> 00:37:26.294
a lack of understanding of myself also,
00:37:28.606 --> 00:37:31.787
I think, can I just accept myself as I am?
00:37:32.802 --> 00:37:37.700
I am as I am, because of
many causes and conditions
00:37:41.714 --> 00:37:44.672
All the seeds that were watered in me
during my lifetime,
00:37:45.886 --> 00:37:49.422
that I have allowed to be watered
in me, during my lifetime,
00:37:50.983 --> 00:37:53.926
maybe seeds I have inherited
from my ancestors
00:37:55.411 --> 00:37:58.409
I want something to be solved quickly,
I'm very efficient.
00:37:59.451 --> 00:38:03.059
but that's not always the best way
to approach an issue
00:38:06.762 --> 00:38:08.340
Sometimes you need time.
00:38:09.609 --> 00:38:11.272
One time I went to Thay and I said:
00:38:11.272 --> 00:38:14.610
"Thay, I'd like to address this issue
with one of the sisters."
00:38:15.559 --> 00:38:17.305
And Thay said: "Too soon.
00:38:18.526 --> 00:38:20.396
Too soon, you have to wait."
00:38:21.477 --> 00:38:24.665
Thay told me: "Sometimes Thay also
has to wait for six months."
00:38:25.988 --> 00:38:30.000
and I thought, ok, let me walk
in the footsteps of my teacher,
00:38:30.592 --> 00:38:31.947
and practise waiting.
00:38:32.460 --> 00:38:34.148
Six months at least,
00:38:35.781 --> 00:38:37.488
you'll see when the time is right.
00:38:37.666 --> 00:38:40.195
I realized time needs to be right in me.
00:38:42.073 --> 00:38:46.470
When I can approach with loving kindness
as a spiritual friend
00:38:47.340 --> 00:38:51.029
when I can approach with compassion,
then the time may be right.
00:38:52.165 --> 00:38:54.664
It's not only the time
for the other person,
00:38:55.324 --> 00:38:57.151
but for me, I have to be ready.
00:38:59.986 --> 00:39:01.313
So, to offer time.
00:39:04.779 --> 00:39:08.390
The second aspect of True Love
is Karuna, compassion.
00:39:09.173 --> 00:39:13.355
It means the intention and the capacity
to relieve the suffering.
00:39:14.709 --> 00:39:16.573
First of all, our own suffering.
00:39:17.232 --> 00:39:22.469
A lot of our suffering is caused by
wrong perceptions, as we already heard.
00:39:24.287 --> 00:39:27.413
So it's always good to go
and check our perceptions
00:39:28.686 --> 00:39:32.965
"the other day, you said this;
can you tell me why you said that?"
00:39:36.063 --> 00:39:39.775
In the beginning I said,
"You said that!"
00:39:41.572 --> 00:39:42.837
quite unkindly.
00:39:43.486 --> 00:39:44.703
"Why did you say this?"
00:39:45.661 --> 00:39:50.218
I realize it doesn't inspire
the other person to reply
00:39:52.004 --> 00:39:55.125
because there is already
a criticism in there,
00:39:55.914 --> 00:39:58.433
the tone of my voice, the words I use.
00:39:59.864 --> 00:40:04.386
So, to ask, to check my perceptions,
00:40:04.848 --> 00:40:09.876
I also need to come from a place
of really wanting to understand
00:40:10.700 --> 00:40:14.725
and to give the other person
the benefit of the doubt.
00:40:18.712 --> 00:40:22.876
I also am unskillful at times,
not necessarily on purpose,
00:40:25.593 --> 00:40:29.519
and I also appreciate when somebody
gives me the benefit of the doubt.
00:40:33.319 --> 00:40:36.900
So, trust the other person,
we'll then be able
00:40:38.297 --> 00:40:42.700
to understand that sharing with us,
00:40:43.172 --> 00:40:44.722
why we said something,
00:40:44.736 --> 00:40:47.256
will help relieve the suffering in us.
00:40:56.102 --> 00:41:00.374
Sometimes we find it difficult
to be with the suffering of someone else,
00:41:00.736 --> 00:41:04.676
and we like it to go away,
00:41:06.497 --> 00:41:10.584
because their suffering makes us suffer.
00:41:10.843 --> 00:41:12.603
We suffer because they suffer.
00:41:13.594 --> 00:41:16.701
We have the intention
to help relieve their suffering,
00:41:17.637 --> 00:41:23.104
but actually, underneath, there's the wish
that if they don't suffer anymore,
00:41:23.775 --> 00:41:24.993
then I feel better.
00:41:25.596 --> 00:41:27.494
So we're doing it with a self-interest.
00:41:29.144 --> 00:41:33.327
My experience is, when I do this,
it doesn't work.
00:41:34.644 --> 00:41:35.742
It just doesn't work.
00:41:37.628 --> 00:41:40.199
I think, when we suffer,
we're very sensitive
00:41:40.199 --> 00:41:43.250
to with what kind of energy
someone approaches us.
00:41:44.559 --> 00:41:46.013
If they want us not to suffer,
00:41:46.493 --> 00:41:49.590
because our suffering
is causing them difficulties,
00:41:49.702 --> 00:41:51.053
is causing them suffering,
00:41:51.682 --> 00:41:55.416
so, "stop suffering please,
so I can be happy",
00:41:56.301 --> 00:41:57.659
it doesn't work like that.
00:42:00.445 --> 00:42:03.008
If we listen in order to help
relieve the suffering,
00:42:03.008 --> 00:42:07.265
it's with the sole purpose
that we would like the other person
00:42:08.902 --> 00:42:10.614
to be relieved of their suffering,
00:42:11.026 --> 00:42:12.137
not because of us.
00:42:13.439 --> 00:42:17.626
If we find it difficult to be
with their suffering, we have to look,
00:42:18.165 --> 00:42:21.800
why is it difficult to be
with the suffering of the other?
00:42:22.863 --> 00:42:23.814
to understand,
00:42:26.254 --> 00:42:28.494
and to look after ourselves in a way
00:42:29.344 --> 00:42:34.033
that we can take care of our suffering,
00:42:34.638 --> 00:42:37.849
and then, maybe we're able
to be with their suffering.
00:42:41.173 --> 00:42:44.371
At times, when we are
with somebody who suffers,
00:42:44.885 --> 00:42:46.724
we just need to be with them.
00:42:47.196 --> 00:42:49.285
Just sitting next to them, breathing,
00:42:50.113 --> 00:42:52.219
not being overwhelmed by their suffering,
00:42:52.847 --> 00:42:54.907
not being carried away by their suffering.
00:42:56.406 --> 00:42:59.045
Maybe just an arm around their shoulders.
00:43:01.120 --> 00:43:03.662
Just to know that we are there for them.
00:43:03.857 --> 00:43:05.137
and that's all.
00:43:10.770 --> 00:43:12.098
Many years ago,
00:43:17.537 --> 00:43:21.541
I lived in a small center
with some other monastics,
00:43:22.897 --> 00:43:28.859
and we had a neighbor,
and the wife was ill, she was dying.
00:43:29.744 --> 00:43:32.422
Whenever he wanted to go shopping,
00:43:32.973 --> 00:43:36.820
he came to our door to ask
one of us to be with his wife.
00:43:38.394 --> 00:43:44.007
So we would sit at her side
and breathe, and just be there.
00:43:44.726 --> 00:43:45.875
Maybe hold her hand.
00:43:47.167 --> 00:43:48.706
Not really saying much.
00:43:53.014 --> 00:43:54.796
One day, he came again,
and he said:
00:43:54.953 --> 00:43:57.885
"Sorry, I always come to ask one of you,
00:43:58.275 --> 00:44:04.579
because Lucie is so calm and peaceful
when one of you is there."
00:44:06.442 --> 00:44:09.897
So I spoke to the other sister and said:
"What do you do?"
00:44:10.178 --> 00:44:12.586
She said: "Nothing. I just sit there."
00:44:13.283 --> 00:44:14.508
I said: "So do I."
00:44:14.658 --> 00:44:17.534
And I asked her: "Are you afraid?"
and she said: "No."
00:44:18.261 --> 00:44:19.724
I said: "Neither am I."
00:44:20.764 --> 00:44:24.379
So we could be with her fear.
We could just be there.
00:44:25.635 --> 00:44:27.040
We didn't need to say much.
00:44:28.436 --> 00:44:32.274
And she was peaceful, and at ease.
00:44:35.873 --> 00:44:37.828
So, we don't always need words.
00:44:39.375 --> 00:44:43.958
Our true presence is already here,
and soothing.
00:44:46.170 --> 00:44:48.729
Maybe we can enjoy a sound of the bell,
00:44:50.989 --> 00:44:55.021
and bring our mind home to our body,
00:44:56.293 --> 00:44:58.372
so we can make ourselves truly present
00:44:59.121 --> 00:45:01.488
especially present for ourselves,
00:45:04.688 --> 00:45:09.295
and maybe we don't need
to say anything to ourselves,
00:45:10.044 --> 00:45:11.516
but just be there.
00:45:11.881 --> 00:45:15.481
Be with whatever is present in us.
00:45:24.888 --> 00:45:33.208
[gong]
00:46:03.674 --> 00:46:05.092
Boddhisatva
00:46:06.665 --> 00:46:09.760
As I was sitting here, I was saying,
"just be with the heat,"
00:46:09.894 --> 00:46:12.402
and then, "but look
at the people in front of me,
00:46:12.412 --> 00:46:14.213
it's much hotter there."
00:46:14.562 --> 00:46:17.956
You're surrounded by 37°, many
00:46:18.242 --> 00:46:19.543
and I have a fan.
00:46:37.642 --> 00:46:40.681
One time, one of my sisters
came to share her suffering with me,
00:46:41.061 --> 00:46:42.334
and I jumped into action,
00:46:43.251 --> 00:46:45.850
I came up with a number of solutions.
00:46:46.644 --> 00:46:50.924
She said: "But Sœur Dieu,
I just want you to listen to me."
00:46:51.934 --> 00:46:53.547
I thought: "Oh yes, of course."
00:46:54.797 --> 00:46:58.868
That's all.
That's more precious than anything else,
00:46:59.429 --> 00:47:02.507
my solutions are my solutions, not hers.
00:47:04.968 --> 00:47:06.902
So, let's imagine,
00:47:08.896 --> 00:47:13.058
that we're faced
with a difficult situation.
00:47:18.374 --> 00:47:20.533
How would we like to be approached?
00:47:21.800 --> 00:47:27.180
What kind of action or non-action
would help us to embrace our suffering?
00:47:29.065 --> 00:47:31.966
It could be a bigger or smaller suffering.
00:47:32.999 --> 00:47:36.014
Maybe it's something
that you can offer yourself.
00:47:36.988 --> 00:47:40.329
So, maybe we'll just close our eyes
and have another sound of the bell,
00:47:40.329 --> 00:47:41.819
and let's just go to ourselves,
00:47:43.715 --> 00:47:48.761
how would I like to be approached?
00:48:09.589 --> 00:48:14.821
[gong]
00:48:52.009 --> 00:48:56.350
As I said before, what came up for me
this time again, is the question,
00:48:56.350 --> 00:48:58.150
do I understand you enough?
00:48:58.899 --> 00:49:00.801
Do I understand myself enough?
00:49:04.959 --> 00:49:06.570
What can I offer myself?
00:49:08.375 --> 00:49:13.177
The third aspect of True Love is Muditha,
it means joy.
00:49:14.297 --> 00:49:16.275
Muditha, it means joy.
00:49:26.491 --> 00:49:28.849
Joy and happiness, born from letting go.
00:49:32.550 --> 00:49:35.345
Many small things can bring joy.
00:49:37.323 --> 00:49:39.421
Coming back to the present moment,
00:49:39.497 --> 00:49:41.857
we can nourish our joy
with the beauty around us,
00:49:42.330 --> 00:49:45.835
we can nourish our joy with the presence
of our loved ones around us.
00:49:50.684 --> 00:49:53.865
We feel the gratitude and the joy
of their presence in our lives.
00:49:57.345 --> 00:50:03.257
And the joy that is an immeasurable mind,
00:50:03.947 --> 00:50:07.532
is the joy that is filled
with peace and contentment.
00:50:08.051 --> 00:50:10.225
So it's not the joy that has excitement
00:50:10.806 --> 00:50:13.423
it is this peace and contentment.
00:50:15.945 --> 00:50:18.834
And we feel this joy for ourselves
and for others.
00:50:22.236 --> 00:50:23.592
It's also the joy,
00:50:31.868 --> 00:50:33.691
when someone we love is happy,
00:50:34.106 --> 00:50:36.798
when someone we love
maybe went through a difficult time
00:50:37.375 --> 00:50:38.568
and then is happy.
00:50:38.953 --> 00:50:40.249
We feel this joy for them.
00:50:41.031 --> 00:50:42.290
"I'm so happy for you."
00:50:43.479 --> 00:50:44.715
That kind of joy.
00:50:46.201 --> 00:50:50.686
We rejoice in the well-being of others,
that kind of joy.
00:50:51.603 --> 00:50:55.357
In our daily life we'll see
there are more opportunities than we think
00:50:57.485 --> 00:51:01.061
to have joy and to rejoice
in the happiness of others.
00:51:13.234 --> 00:51:18.917
The last aspect of True Love is Upeksha.
00:51:19.629 --> 00:51:21.031
Upeksha.
00:51:25.140 --> 00:51:26.782
It means inclusiveness.
00:51:30.188 --> 00:51:34.610
It means "we love everyone equally."
00:51:41.117 --> 00:51:46.141
The ones we find easy to love and
the ones we find more difficult to love.
00:51:50.078 --> 00:51:54.397
As I said, we have the potential
to do this already, right?
00:51:55.005 --> 00:51:57.156
It needs to be watered,
00:51:57.363 --> 00:52:01.391
that seed needs to be watered
in order to manifest as a state of mind.
00:52:02.278 --> 00:52:03.820
If, at the moment, we say:
00:52:03.996 --> 00:52:08.154
"To love everybody, to be inclusive,
I'm not there yet",
00:52:08.905 --> 00:52:12.769
That's alright,
because we're still practising,
00:52:13.578 --> 00:52:15.158
we're going in the direction.
00:52:18.095 --> 00:52:24.889
To love everyone equally
also stems from compassion.
00:52:28.523 --> 00:52:30.143
How can we be compassionate
00:52:30.143 --> 00:52:36.953
to somebody who behaves in a way
that causes suffering to other people?
00:52:44.365 --> 00:52:48.607
If we try to put ourselves
in the skin of that person,
00:52:50.431 --> 00:52:52.157
and try to imagine,
00:52:56.232 --> 00:53:01.185
what was the kind of family
this person may have been born into?
00:53:02.481 --> 00:53:04.273
What was the childhood like?
00:53:04.273 --> 00:53:06.460
What was their environment
when they grew up?
00:53:07.639 --> 00:53:10.301
What were the people they interacted with?
00:53:12.751 --> 00:53:15.026
What kind of education did he have?
00:53:17.189 --> 00:53:19.198
The environment forms us,
00:53:19.573 --> 00:53:21.760
so what is the environment
they grew up with?
00:53:22.425 --> 00:53:25.839
Was it an environment that was
full of understanding and love,
00:53:26.080 --> 00:53:29.091
or was it an environment where
there was hatred and violence?
00:53:29.664 --> 00:53:31.329
If there was hatred and violence,
00:53:31.801 --> 00:53:35.935
the seed of hatred and violence
was watered in them
00:53:39.656 --> 00:53:42.479
The seeds of discrimination
was watered in them.
00:53:44.375 --> 00:53:47.323
So, no wonder they are the way they are.
00:53:49.510 --> 00:53:52.498
If we can really put ourselves
in the skin of the other,
00:53:54.195 --> 00:53:57.222
understand how they came
to be as they are,
00:53:58.087 --> 00:54:02.903
then we can include them in our love.
00:54:06.395 --> 00:54:08.425
Because we have compassion.
00:54:09.791 --> 00:54:13.937
Compassion does not mean
that we condone the act,
00:54:14.983 --> 00:54:17.453
what they did is not right,
00:54:19.016 --> 00:54:22.037
but we can understand
what brought them to that point
00:54:23.983 --> 00:54:30.751
what kind of mental food did they get,
00:54:32.140 --> 00:54:33.910
to what were they exposed?
00:54:35.571 --> 00:54:39.854
Thay says: "If we were born
where they were born,
00:54:40.513 --> 00:54:42.432
in the family, in their environment,
00:54:45.446 --> 00:54:47.428
we would do exactly the same."
00:54:48.479 --> 00:54:49.870
[alarm clock sounds]
00:54:50.803 --> 00:54:52.007
This is my alarm.
00:54:54.813 --> 00:54:57.211
We would do exactly the same.
00:54:57.837 --> 00:54:59.731
In the beginning I thought,
no, I won't.
00:55:02.074 --> 00:55:03.826
And then I thought, ah!
00:55:07.851 --> 00:55:12.399
But that means, I'm not putting myself
in the skin of the other person.
00:55:16.980 --> 00:55:19.221
I haven't looked deeply enough.
00:55:21.087 --> 00:55:25.095
And, there is compassion and there is pity
00:55:25.921 --> 00:55:28.874
Pity doesn't go anywhere,
00:55:29.804 --> 00:55:35.867
but compassion motivates us
to do something, to act.
00:55:39.219 --> 00:55:43.711
Maybe that person who does something
to cause suffering to others
00:55:43.842 --> 00:55:46.563
needs our help,
because there's a lack of understanding.
00:55:46.689 --> 00:55:49.584
You do suffering to the others,
you're doing it to yourself.
00:55:52.176 --> 00:55:55.856
If you think, causing suffering to
somebody else is bringing you happiness,
00:55:56.051 --> 00:55:56.962
it's not.
00:55:59.012 --> 00:56:01.579
Maybe they don't know,
and we need to help them.
00:56:02.391 --> 00:56:05.495
And that's our engagement,
and Thay is very engaged.
00:56:06.532 --> 00:56:09.513
Thay has spoken to politicians,
to business people.
00:56:13.221 --> 00:56:15.770
In many countries Thay has adressed issues
00:56:16.916 --> 00:56:19.984
that were happening in the country,
00:56:20.922 --> 00:56:26.881
in order to help the politicians
understand, and the people to understand
00:56:29.337 --> 00:56:30.487
what we can do,
00:56:31.740 --> 00:56:37.350
and also what maybe
would be better not to do.
00:56:44.416 --> 00:56:53.330
So, with compassion and understanding
how things come to be,
00:56:54.029 --> 00:56:56.638
our love can become inclusive.
00:56:58.422 --> 00:57:00.654
Of course, as I said before,
00:57:02.854 --> 00:57:09.201
the foundation for that is,
can we include ourselves in this love?
00:57:12.366 --> 00:57:18.079
With all our strengths and weaknesses,
can we do that?
00:57:22.443 --> 00:57:25.561
So, practising and developing
these four immeasurable minds
00:57:26.264 --> 00:57:29.435
is the best way to take care of ourselves
our loved ones,
00:57:29.918 --> 00:57:31.397
and all other beings.
00:57:31.679 --> 00:57:34.075
So they're not a kind of tools
that we have, like,
00:57:34.075 --> 00:57:36.095
"oh I think we need loving kindness here,"
00:57:36.119 --> 00:57:37.879
"oh, I think I need compassion,"
00:57:37.901 --> 00:57:40.316
"oh, I think I need joy,
or inclusiveness."
00:57:40.969 --> 00:57:41.700
No.
00:57:43.424 --> 00:57:50.068
It is, developing these aspects of love
in ourselves
00:57:50.834 --> 00:57:58.119
so that we can respond to life
from these aspects.
00:58:03.853 --> 00:58:08.357
To bring these four aspects
of love to mind, every day,
00:58:10.588 --> 00:58:13.352
to water the seeds, to remember
00:58:16.137 --> 00:58:19.307
that we can respond with loving kindness
00:58:20.981 --> 00:58:24.981
we can respond with joy
to the joy of others
00:58:26.059 --> 00:58:28.949
we can respond with compassion
to the suffering,
00:58:30.335 --> 00:58:37.055
we can respond with inclusiveness
to all beings, including Mother Earth.
00:58:47.634 --> 00:58:49.813
They become a state of mind.
00:58:50.064 --> 00:58:53.414
And when we bring them to mind often,
the Buddha said:
00:58:53.414 --> 00:59:00.144
"Whatever we think about, or ponder upon,
becomes the inclination of our mind.
00:59:00.836 --> 00:59:04.116
Becomes the way we respond to life."
00:59:05.017 --> 00:59:08.247
So we may like to look, how do we
respond to life right now?
00:59:08.669 --> 00:59:14.399
Is it with fear? Is it with worries?
00:59:15.006 --> 00:59:20.086
Is it with anger?
Is it with love?
00:59:20.410 --> 00:59:21.940
How do we respond to life?
00:59:23.514 --> 00:59:27.994
Just to know and say:
"Ok, this is where I stand now.
00:59:28.999 --> 00:59:31.579
Practising the Four Immeasurable Minds,
00:59:32.132 --> 00:59:36.592
I go in the direction of responding
to life with True Love.
00:59:38.789 --> 00:59:45.149
It's not only to life,
but also to individuals,
00:59:45.761 --> 00:59:48.221
the person who's right next to me,
next to us,
00:59:48.744 --> 00:59:51.614
the person we hope
to spend our whole life with,
00:59:52.432 --> 00:59:55.192
can we have this mind of love
towards them?
00:59:56.035 --> 01:00:06.495
This True Love, that is not centered
on just ourselves.
01:00:11.379 --> 01:00:18.099
Instead of our love being like a cage,
robbing our loved one of their freedom,
01:00:18.545 --> 01:00:23.285
our love is wide
and embraces all aspects of them.
01:00:27.418 --> 01:00:30.898
Maybe we can think of our loved one as...
01:00:31.397 --> 01:00:34.297
a nice breeze that you hopefully
will experience soon
01:00:37.421 --> 01:00:43.381
If we want to catch the breeze
and consider it our own,
01:00:43.958 --> 01:00:46.486
it's like putting the little breeze
in a little cage,
01:00:46.486 --> 01:00:48.978
and what happens
when you put it in a little cage...
01:00:50.579 --> 01:00:51.437
it dies.
01:00:52.344 --> 01:00:56.176
In fact, I reflected on this,
if we love like that,
01:00:57.205 --> 01:01:02.096
then the things we love in the other
person, will no longer be there.
01:01:05.177 --> 01:01:07.376
as you will stop loving her
very, very soon.
01:01:07.732 --> 01:01:10.200
We will stop loving them very, very soon.
01:01:12.212 --> 01:01:17.323
So, let's infuse our minds
with these four aspects of love,
01:01:18.081 --> 01:01:21.687
so that we can love, and be loved
01:01:22.378 --> 01:01:24.979
and offer True Love
to ourselves and others.
01:01:25.905 --> 01:01:27.393
And now I'm going to offer you
01:01:30.232 --> 01:01:31.718
a nice breeze outside.
01:01:31.961 --> 01:01:35.961
Thank you for being there,
free as the breeze.
01:01:38.055 --> 01:01:40.235
Happy continuation on your path,
01:01:41.714 --> 01:01:44.774
may every step bring you
peace and happiness,
01:01:46.726 --> 01:01:50.726
and remember, smile,
breathe when you look deeply,
01:01:51.561 --> 01:01:53.411
and enjoy every step you take.
01:01:54.289 --> 01:01:55.589
Thank you very much.
01:02:06.609 --> 01:02:15.229
[gong]
01:02:36.960 --> 01:02:46.972
[gong]
01:03:05.208 --> 01:03:16.088
[gong]