0:00:09.549,0:00:20.343
[gong]
0:00:41.240,0:00:52.937
[gong]
0:01:11.657,0:01:22.712
[gong]
0:01:41.067,0:01:42.260
So, good afternoon,
0:01:44.260,0:01:48.881
dear respected Thay, dear beloved [br]brothers and sisters and friends
0:01:50.790,0:01:56.118
Today is Thursday, the 26th of July 2018
0:02:00.235,0:02:05.689
We are in the Still Water Hall, [br]meditation hall of Upper Hamlet
0:02:07.248,0:02:14.259
and this is the last Dharma Talk of the [br]third week of our annual Summer Retreat.
0:02:14.851,0:02:16.875
and it's very hot.
0:02:18.784,0:02:24.632
Thank you for coming to sit here,[br]I try to keep it short and sweet,
0:02:25.190,0:02:29.080
so we can all go out [br]and enjoy some fresh air after this.
0:02:30.722,0:02:35.107
Today I'll be speaking [br]about the four Brahmavirahas,
0:02:35.697,0:02:41.878
the four immeasurable minds [br]that really are a guide
0:02:42.183,0:02:48.315
to how we can respond [br]to life situations with love
0:02:49.012,0:02:50.505
and I think it's a hot day,
0:02:50.937,0:02:53.956
so maybe we have to respond [br]with love by keeping it short.
0:02:56.592,0:03:01.045
Today we celebrate the Full Moon festival[br]together, here in Upper Hamlet
0:03:02.894,0:03:05.927
and that's why we have [br]the Dharma talk in the afternoon,
0:03:07.185,0:03:13.135
so the friends from the New Hamlet don't [br]need to ride the bus back and forth twice.
0:03:14.481,0:03:16.689
An expression of love and understanding.
0:03:18.258,0:03:19.265
A good start.
0:03:21.246,0:03:24.372
We started this week with a smile, [br]do you remember?
0:03:25.598,0:03:30.014
Sister Hoi Nghiem shared how [br]every morning when she recites the ghata,
0:03:31.570,0:03:33.168
waking up this morning I smile,
0:03:33.799,0:03:36.189
24 brand new hours are before me,
0:03:37.547,0:03:39.585
I vow to live them fully each moment
0:03:39.585,0:03:42.530
and look at all beings [br]with the eyes of compassion.
0:03:43.793,0:03:46.333
And when she notices [br]that she forgot to smile,
0:03:46.656,0:03:49.933
she will lie down again [br]and start all over again.
0:03:51.076,0:03:55.171
So my question is, how many times [br]did you lie down again this week?
0:03:57.168,0:03:58.452
Did you remember?
0:04:00.297,0:04:04.410
But that story definitely brought [br]a smile to our face, didn't it?
0:04:07.128,0:04:08.406
Anyway,
0:04:11.463,0:04:18.904
in case you missed the chance [br]to smile, we're waking up.
0:04:19.689,0:04:24.486
I thought, maybe we start by giving you [br]a chance to smile
0:04:26.999,0:04:29.010
and to enjoy your smile.
0:04:42.758,0:04:45.828
A smile makes us feel better [br]straight away.
0:04:46.332,0:04:48.308
whether we're the ones who receive it,
0:04:48.794,0:04:50.424
or the ones who offer it.
0:04:50.975,0:04:53.706
or the ones who just smile [br]because, why not?
0:04:54.707,0:04:56.200
Why would we not smile?
0:04:56.660,0:04:58.963
It makes us feel better straight away.
0:05:02.364,0:05:05.421
and as we heard, [br]it's the best way to start the day
0:05:06.857,0:05:09.277
A smile can even turn "Monday morning",
0:05:09.580,0:05:12.458
if that still exists, nowadays [br]that we work from home
0:05:13.047,0:05:15.664
Monday morning, not a too pleasant morning
0:05:16.323,0:05:21.005
and I hope that it can also turn[br]a hot Thursday afternoon
0:05:21.805,0:05:23.432
into a pleasant afternoon.
0:05:25.760,0:05:30.010
Let's start with a short meditation [br]to bring our mind home to our body.
0:05:30.611,0:05:32.095
Make yourself comfortable.
0:05:38.867,0:05:42.098
and let's bring some loving [br]kindness to ourselves
0:05:43.860,0:05:49.585
by, during the meditation, [br]going through our body
0:05:50.506,0:05:54.669
and whenever we encounter [br]a feeling of tension,
0:05:56.209,0:06:00.059
on the outbreath, to relax the tension, [br]to soften it
0:06:01.021,0:06:04.889
and to smile to it, to say,[br]"I know you're there,
0:06:06.688,0:06:09.961
I love you too, you are also me.
0:06:13.339,0:06:16.589
So let's start by enjoying [br]a sound of the bell.
0:06:28.998,0:06:39.895
[gong]
0:06:59.328,0:07:03.302
Let us become aware of the air [br]as it flows into and out of our body,
0:07:06.232,0:07:08.546
and smile to our inbreath and outbreath
0:07:14.498,0:07:17.944
knowing that we are alive in this moment.
0:07:25.821,0:07:27.399
Let us become aware of our body
0:07:29.040,0:07:32.099
and scan our body from the top of our head
0:07:32.910,0:07:35.251
all the way down to the tip of our toes.
0:07:38.970,0:07:44.279
And we sweep along any tension [br]we may find on our way
0:07:46.771,0:07:49.362
Maybe there's tension in our head,
0:07:50.547,0:07:52.753
maybe behind our forehead,
0:07:55.968,0:07:59.140
or around our eyes, behind our eyes,
0:08:03.101,0:08:04.603
around our ears
0:08:07.951,0:08:09.336
our jaws,
0:08:13.046,0:08:14.514
maybe our neck,
0:08:17.077,0:08:20.211
and on every outbreath, we smile,
0:08:22.301,0:08:29.745
which helps to soften [br]the tension we encounter.
0:08:34.591,0:08:36.174
Become aware of our shoulders,
0:08:39.965,0:08:42.314
and then sweep down into the arms,
0:08:45.769,0:08:49.214
our hands and our fingers.
0:08:51.002,0:08:54.900
On every outbreath, softening the tension
0:08:55.392,0:08:57.614
by offering it a smile.
0:09:05.406,0:09:07.522
We sweep down our trunk
0:09:08.674,0:09:11.023
our back and our front.
0:09:14.774,0:09:18.103
And then the lower part of our body,
0:09:19.887,0:09:23.194
the buttocks and the abdomen.
0:09:26.755,0:09:32.172
Softening any tension we may find[br]in the buttocks or in the abdomen
0:09:34.112,0:09:36.037
by offering it a smile.
0:09:44.979,0:09:46.681
Then we sweep down into the legs,
0:09:49.121,0:09:51.059
all the way down into the feet,
0:09:52.608,0:09:54.734
to the tip of the toes.
0:09:57.268,0:10:03.488
And here too, softening any tension[br]we may encounter,
0:10:06.352,0:10:08.348
and offering it a smile.
0:10:18.171,0:10:20.229
Now become aware that we have arrived
0:10:20.893,0:10:23.139
on our chair or on our cushion
0:10:23.629,0:10:26.035
or on the ground, [br]if you're sitting on the ground.
0:10:32.165,0:10:36.896
Our body is here [br]and our mind is in the now,
0:10:37.031,0:10:38.431
in the present moment.
0:10:47.758,0:10:49.699
Body and mind, relaxed.
0:11:06.926,0:11:12.026
And we like to allow [br]a smile to be born on our lips.
0:11:41.745,0:11:53.066
[gong]
0:12:26.661,0:12:32.185
We usually smile when we want [br]to acknowledge the presence of someone,
0:12:33.547,0:12:35.247
of someone we meet,
0:12:35.872,0:12:38.787
it is very common to smile then.
0:12:40.090,0:12:43.033
When we walk around [br]the grounds of Plum Village
0:12:43.921,0:12:47.120
we're bound to meet people, [br]because there are many of us, here,
0:12:47.961,0:12:51.864
So we have a lot of opportunities [br]to smile throughout the day.
0:12:55.053,0:12:59.302
A smile or a nod of the head,[br]something like this.
0:13:00.151,0:13:03.949
In some cultures they do that, [br]not a smile.
0:13:07.371,0:13:10.337
At home, when we walk in the streets[br]and we meet a neighbor,
0:13:10.659,0:13:14.586
we also smile, even if they're [br]on the other side of the street
0:13:15.345,0:13:17.063
Maybe we wave as well,
0:13:17.989,0:13:19.868
but often, we just smile.
0:13:20.386,0:13:23.169
To let them know, "I see you,"
0:13:24.015,0:13:28.709
"I've seen you, [br]I acknowledge your presence,"
0:13:30.371,0:13:32.087
and this is very important.
0:13:39.437,0:13:44.038
Everybody needs love, needs to be loved,
0:13:45.027,0:13:48.212
and everybody has a need to love as well.
0:13:49.390,0:13:51.309
But very often, the way we love
0:13:55.040,0:13:58.401
ends up imprisoning the other person,
0:14:01.968,0:14:04.475
and also ourselves.
0:14:05.353,0:14:10.465
So how can we love and be free[br]at the same time?
0:14:24.584,0:14:28.689
What may happen when we meet somebody[br]and we offer them a smile,
0:14:29.997,0:14:31.784
tears come to their eyes.
0:14:32.936,0:14:37.594
Because they have a feeling [br]that they haven't been seen
0:14:38.849,0:14:42.718
or acknowledged in their being, [br]for a long time.
0:14:44.382,0:14:45.794
We may live with other people
0:14:47.517,0:14:48.775
but we're so busy,
0:14:49.685,0:14:52.569
we watch many things,
0:14:53.528,0:14:56.979
we look at many things, but [br]we don't look at the people we live with.
0:14:59.392,0:15:01.123
We already heard it this week,
0:15:01.744,0:15:06.916
but it also strikes me every time [br]I travel, for instance,
0:15:07.403,0:15:12.536
and I'm in the departure lounge,[br]there are many people,
0:15:13.617,0:15:16.171
and they're all sitting [br]with their gadgets,
0:15:17.983,0:15:20.880
Last time, when I came into the lounge,
0:15:21.342,0:15:25.719
I tried to guess who was with who.[br]That was quite difficult!
0:15:25.899,0:15:29.078
Because they're sitting with their [br]back to each other, doing this,
0:15:29.078,0:15:31.711
and I thought, [br]I don't think they came together.
0:15:32.249,0:15:34.845
But when it is time to board, [br]they speak to each other
0:15:34.845,0:15:37.575
and they go off together to board.
0:15:38.031,0:15:41.115
I said, "apparently [br]they did come together."
0:15:42.979,0:15:44.851
But it's difficult to tell.
0:15:46.639,0:15:50.388
Usually I can tell [br]if children and parents are together,
0:15:50.388,0:15:53.000
because they sit together [br]and they may say something,
0:15:53.000,0:15:56.486
but they're also quite...
0:16:02.937,0:16:06.656
immersed in whatever [br]they're doing with their gadgets
0:16:08.293,0:16:09.596
This is such a pity,
0:16:10.051,0:16:14.589
because the most precious thing we can [br]offer each other is our true presence.
0:16:16.285,0:16:22.655
And when we sit in a departure lounge,[br]a waiting room,
0:16:23.576,0:16:27.496
we have nowhere to go and nothing to do[br]until we board the plane.
0:16:28.753,0:16:31.814
It's a very good opportunity[br]to be there for each other.
0:16:32.747,0:16:35.606
and to just offer each other's presence.
0:16:41.279,0:16:46.970
Thay gave us a mantra that says[br]"I am here for you."
0:16:47.648,0:16:52.265
This is not a mantra in Sanskrit [br]or some other language,
0:16:53.003,0:16:57.524
this is a mantra in colloquial language,
0:16:57.869,0:16:59.173
"I am here for you."
0:16:59.743,0:17:01.535
In French, "Je suis là pour toi,"
0:17:02.517,0:17:05.290
and you can translate it [br]into your own language.
0:17:06.787,0:17:08.657
and to go to our loved ones,
0:17:09.145,0:17:13.470
first, bring our mind home to our body,[br]as we did just now.
0:17:14.217,0:17:19.014
to be truly present, and then say:[br]"Darling, I'm here for you."
0:17:22.141,0:17:26.607
and then I leave it up to you[br]to discover what happens after that,
0:17:27.253,0:17:29.980
and then you can let us know next year.
0:17:31.044,0:17:32.453
I'm truly here for you.
0:17:37.032,0:17:43.295
To hear, to listen, to understand.
0:17:47.135,0:17:49.656
True Love comes from understanding,
0:17:50.141,0:17:52.770
and in order to understand,[br]we need to listen carefully.
0:17:54.000,0:17:56.913
We need to listen to what's being said[br]inbetween the lines
0:18:00.418,0:18:04.527
At the beginning of the week, [br]we chanted Namo Avalokiteshvaraya,
0:18:05.734,0:18:10.226
we invoked the name [br]of the Bodhisattva Avalokitha,
0:18:10.879,0:18:12.891
who has the capacity to listen,
0:18:13.770,0:18:18.294
and, also, to hear what's being said[br]and what is left unsaid.
0:18:20.160,0:18:25.359
To really listen, [br]because our loved one, or our friend,
0:18:25.916,0:18:27.431
our parent or our child,
0:18:27.880,0:18:29.807
may be saying something in words,
0:18:30.975,0:18:33.006
may be saying one thing in words,
0:18:33.571,0:18:36.692
but their eyes may be saying [br]something else.
0:18:38.950,0:18:43.592
So, being present and looking into [br]their eyes, maybe their body language,
0:18:44.644,0:18:48.223
we will be able to hear [br]what's being left unsaid,
0:18:49.114,0:18:51.426
but what actually wants to be heard.
0:18:52.707,0:18:54.277
What wants to be heard.
0:19:03.348,0:19:08.154
So let us enjoy a sound of the bell,
0:19:08.841,0:19:12.632
and offer ourselves our true presence [br]one more time.
0:19:12.991,0:19:14.871
Bringing our mind home to our body.
0:19:18.155,0:19:20.137
"Hello body, I'm here for you",
0:19:21.404,0:19:24.715
making ourselves present for ourselves.
0:19:35.933,0:19:47.667
[gong]
0:20:17.598,0:20:19.373
When I wake up in the morning,
0:20:20.966,0:20:24.760
like my sister,[br]I don't always remember to smile.
0:20:25.975,0:20:29.317
But I remember smiling in the morning,[br]better,
0:20:29.683,0:20:33.156
if I remember to smile [br]before I go to sleep.
0:20:34.299,0:20:37.419
So, if you didn't remember to smile[br]in the morning,
0:20:37.860,0:20:40.069
try smiling at night,
0:20:40.069,0:20:42.279
and you may also remember better.
0:20:43.729,0:20:45.962
But then, when I get to the bathroom,
0:20:46.265,0:20:47.597
I see a mirror.
0:20:48.261,0:20:51.595
When I first came to Plum Village,[br]we didn't have so many mirrors,
0:20:51.595,0:20:53.258
but now we have more mirrors,
0:20:53.319,0:20:54.901
so I have a chance to see myself.
0:20:57.335,0:21:00.477
Some of you who have been [br]coming for a long time, remember this.
0:21:04.314,0:21:09.002
We don't have any hair, I don't need [br]to put on make up and things like that
0:21:10.003,0:21:13.422
so I look in the mirror and I think,[br]why should I look in the mirror?
0:21:13.595,0:21:15.902
Oh, I could smile at myself, why not?[br]
0:21:16.173,0:21:17.267
"Hello!
0:21:19.629,0:21:23.019
Good morning, how are you?"[br]Why not?
0:21:23.019,0:21:24.496
So that's what I do.
0:21:25.417,0:21:30.165
I forget to smile when I wake up,[br]I remember when I look into the mirror.
0:21:31.233,0:21:35.175
Try it. It's bit kind of awkward [br]in the beginning, smiling at yourself
0:21:35.797,0:21:37.283
but it's worth the while.
0:21:37.942,0:21:40.696
If we practise, [br]if we're talking about true love
0:21:41.091,0:21:43.458
maybe we can start by loving ourselves.
0:21:44.233,0:21:47.458
So the least we can do, [br]is offering ourselves a smile.
0:21:49.373,0:21:53.971
And saying, ok, I know you're there,[br]and I'm so happy.
0:21:54.315,0:21:55.553
How are you today?
0:21:59.594,0:22:00.662
When we smile,
0:22:03.759,0:22:06.797
in the gatha, we smile to a new day.
0:22:08.415,0:22:12.047
In the gatha, that's the little poem [br]that the sister recited,
0:22:12.595,0:22:14.504
waking up this morning, I smile,
0:22:14.940,0:22:18.191
it's a little poem that we recite [br]when we wake up in the morning.
0:22:19.290,0:22:20.867
When we wake up in the morning,[br]
0:22:20.890,0:22:24.779
because we want to water [br]the seed of compassion in us.
0:22:25.244,0:22:27.577
To look at all beings with compassion,
0:22:28.403,0:22:32.017
and I thought, well, since I'm [br]the first being to meet this morning,
0:22:33.273,0:22:34.995
why not smile to myself?
0:22:37.143,0:22:40.929
So we wake up [br]and we can smile to the new day.
0:22:41.752,0:22:43.272
This is a new day.
0:22:46.268,0:22:49.741
We could reflect,[br]how did I live my day yesterday?
0:22:50.788,0:22:51.961
This is a new day.[br]
0:22:52.541,0:22:55.283
I can live it [br]with a little bit more compassion
0:22:57.705,0:22:59.636
for myself and for others.
0:23:01.944,0:23:06.087
We smile to the people around us,[br]our loved ones, and smile to nature.
0:23:06.442,0:23:08.928
Sometimes it seems much easier
0:23:08.928,0:23:12.048
to smile to a singing bird [br]or to a tree or to a flower
0:23:12.722,0:23:14.953
than to the person who's right next to us.
0:23:17.044,0:23:21.669
However, the person who's right next to us[br]is also a flower.
0:23:22.876,0:23:27.129
And our smile will make her, [br]him, them, bloom.
0:23:29.951,0:23:34.862
So we can practice smiling to nature
0:23:35.415,0:23:40.640
in order to develop [br]the capacity of smiling.
0:23:43.386,0:23:46.708
We can also smile to our joy,[br]as well as our suffering.
0:23:47.961,0:23:51.191
And then we can just smile[br]for the joy of smiling.
0:23:53.080,0:23:54.305
Many years ago,
0:23:57.124,0:24:01.417
this was before I ordained,[br]but I already knew of the practice,
0:24:02.725,0:24:04.179
I was walking down the street,
0:24:04.683,0:24:07.293
and all of a sudden somebody stopped[br]and turned around,
0:24:07.293,0:24:09.431
and I thought, [br]Oh, maybe I know this person,
0:24:09.608,0:24:11.727
so I turned around and said:[br]"Do I know you?"
0:24:12.388,0:24:15.766
He said: "No - such a beautiful smile,"[br]and I said: "Oh? Ok."
0:24:16.633,0:24:19.138
And I thought, [br]I didn't even know I was smiling,
0:24:19.498,0:24:23.596
but I was smiling [br]for no reason whatsoever,
0:24:24.532,0:24:30.758
just smile because I was feeling well, [br]I guess.
0:24:31.114,0:24:31.856
You know?
0:24:32.157,0:24:33.253
I was smiling.
0:24:33.478,0:24:37.069
So we don't need a specific [br]or a particular reason to smile,
0:24:38.578,0:24:40.703
we can smile just like that.
0:24:46.292,0:24:51.695
Thay said: "Sometimes our smile [br]is born from love,
0:24:52.181,0:24:55.332
and sometimes love [br]is born from our smile."
0:24:57.360,0:24:58.430
I like that.
0:25:04.759,0:25:06.894
So true love has four aspects,
0:25:07.134,0:25:09.821
and these four aspects [br]are within ourselves.
0:25:10.110,0:25:12.970
They are within ourselves [br]in the form of a seed.
0:25:13.882,0:25:15.850
We already heard about seeds this week,
0:25:16.298,0:25:17.699
in our store consciousness,
0:25:18.146,0:25:20.387
that need to be watered in order to bloom,
0:25:20.827,0:25:21.968
into a flower.
0:25:22.163,0:25:24.733
That is to say, a seed is a potential.
0:25:25.335,0:25:30.781
We have the capacity to love,
0:25:30.844,0:25:33.424
to have loving kindness in our heart.
0:25:33.708,0:25:36.331
We have the capacity to be compassionate.
0:25:36.915,0:25:39.133
We have the capacity to feel joy,
0:25:39.869,0:25:45.423
we have the capacity to feel equanimity[br]and to be inclusive.
0:25:46.612,0:25:50.670
It's in seed form, the potential,[br]and when it's watered,
0:25:51.559,0:25:53.467
when the seed gets water,
0:25:56.205,0:25:59.746
then it manifests as a mental formation,
0:25:59.912,0:26:02.949
or in other words, as a state of mind.
0:26:04.506,0:26:08.476
So these four aspects of love, [br]we call them:
0:26:10.358,0:26:15.448
the Four Immeasurable States of Mind,[br]the immeasurable minds.
0:26:16.807,0:26:23.395
And they're immeasurable [br]because we can extend these aspects
0:26:23.960,0:26:27.395
to all beings and to everything that is,
0:26:27.911,0:26:29.483
including Mother Earth.
0:26:29.984,0:26:31.518
They have no limit,
0:26:32.222,0:26:34.739
the unlimited minds.
0:26:37.067,0:26:42.917
They're within us, so it's not [br]something we have to get somewhere,
0:26:43.466,0:26:45.781
they are in us in potential.
0:26:46.468,0:26:48.658
So it's a matter of watering them.
0:26:49.301,0:26:54.554
We can water the seeds by practising [br]Deep Looking and Deep Listening
0:26:57.305,0:27:03.839
The first aspect is Maïtri, [br]also called Loving Kindness
0:27:04.471,0:27:07.155
or, here in Plum Village, [br]we sometimes call it Love.
0:27:07.514,0:27:08.570
Just Love.
0:27:11.509,0:27:16.405
It is the intention [br]and the capacity to love.
0:27:17.784,0:27:21.490
We may have an intention, but that doesn't[br]mean we have the capacity.
0:27:22.083,0:27:24.599
The capacity, we develop.
0:27:27.187,0:27:31.715
And the capacity to love [br]stems from understanding.
0:27:37.409,0:27:39.945
The capacity to offer joy and happiness,
0:27:46.767,0:27:52.040
in order to offer happiness to others,[br]we have to understand them.
0:27:52.338,0:27:55.252
We have to know their aspirations,[br]their dreams,
0:27:58.391,0:27:59.402
their hopes.
0:28:01.203,0:28:04.864
What is it they hope for in their lives?[br]What is it?
0:28:07.453,0:28:12.015
Sometimes our parents have had dreams[br]for their own future, as a young person,
0:28:12.832,0:28:16.449
but maybe conditions were not sufficient[br]for them to realize it.
0:28:17.395,0:28:19.365
Then they hope, they wish so much
0:28:19.840,0:28:26.071
that their children will be able [br]to realize their dreams,
0:28:27.242,0:28:31.308
but we may have our own dream[br]which may not be the same,
0:28:32.274,0:28:35.044
and although our parents [br]want the best for us,
0:28:36.400,0:28:40.568
actually, we suffer a little bit.
0:28:42.196,0:28:43.509
We suffer a little bit.
0:28:48.282,0:28:52.903
Here in Plum Village, Thay teaches us [br]that we as elders need to look deeply
0:28:53.063,0:28:58.240
to understand the aspirations and the joys[br]and the suffering of our younger siblings.
0:28:59.796,0:29:01.884
So we have to listen to them.
0:29:03.823,0:29:08.168
And sometimes I encourage [br]my younger sisters in the Dharma
0:29:08.941,0:29:13.102
to do things that I think will help them [br]to make progress on the Path.
0:29:14.791,0:29:16.445
And that can cause them suffering.
0:29:19.466,0:29:25.138
So as a practise as an elder, [br]I'm practising looking and listening
0:29:25.783,0:29:28.170
in order to understand [br]what their dreams are
0:29:29.262,0:29:33.154
and to see what would be [br]the next step on their path,
0:29:33.432,0:29:35.244
and how can I offer support.
0:29:46.463,0:29:51.902
So this is my practise [br]of making progress on the path,
0:29:51.902,0:29:54.472
is, to listen to my younger ones.
0:29:55.577,0:29:57.853
Here in Plum Village, [br]we celebrate Christmas,
0:29:58.676,0:30:03.563
and it's an opportunity to offer a gift[br]to one of our sisters
0:30:05.839,0:30:09.585
A few years ago I went shopping [br]with another sister
0:30:10.493,0:30:12.098
who had just arrived,
0:30:13.147,0:30:15.610
and then she looked [br]at what I put in the basket
0:30:16.545,0:30:18.869
and she said "Sister Dieu Nghiem,
0:30:18.880,0:30:21.796
that is not your taste at all, [br]why do you buy those things?"
0:30:22.723,0:30:25.410
and I said: "Because this is [br]what my sister likes."
0:30:29.194,0:30:30.419
And I realized,
0:30:32.266,0:30:37.889
maybe in the past I have offered things [br]to friends, to my siblings, that I like,
0:30:38.429,0:30:42.171
this would be a wonderful present,[br]because it's so beautiful, you know?
0:30:43.007,0:30:47.915
And I give it to them, [br]and now in hindsight, I think, hm....
0:30:49.651,0:30:53.573
maybe that was a present that came [br]from a lot of love
0:30:54.353,0:30:56.484
and a little lack of understanding.
0:30:59.190,0:31:03.743
But I remember [br]they all accepted it very gracefully,
0:31:06.867,0:31:11.227
so, they may have realized [br]it was a good intention.
0:31:14.642,0:31:16.784
Maïtri is also friendship.
0:31:17.458,0:31:21.555
There's the word Mitra [br]that's connected to Maïtri,
0:31:22.076,0:31:23.971
and it means Spiritual Friend.
0:31:26.161,0:31:31.905
A friend is somebody, a heart friend,[br]somebody that understands us,
0:31:32.388,0:31:34.657
who understands our dreams [br]and our aspirations,
0:31:34.919,0:31:36.364
our joys and our sufferings,
0:31:37.307,0:31:39.065
with whom we can share from our heart
0:31:41.637,0:31:45.565
with whom we can share our joys [br]and also our suffering
0:31:47.477,0:31:51.016
and who will listen [br]without judging or reacting
0:31:51.979,0:31:53.720
and who will not give advice.
0:31:56.500,0:31:57.949
"You know what you should do"
0:32:03.675,0:32:07.105
But also, it's on the path in our life,
0:32:08.040,0:32:12.386
it's also that they can point out to us
0:32:15.393,0:32:17.032
something that we don't see.
0:32:18.482,0:32:22.212
and they can point that out to us [br]in a way that we can hear it.
0:32:23.715,0:32:29.172
So, to be a true friend,[br]to be a friend on the spiritual path,
0:32:32.291,0:32:36.408
it needs Deep Looking and Deep Listening,[br]and some understanding,
0:32:36.781,0:32:42.483
in order to point something out in a way [br]that it can be received.
0:32:45.184,0:32:47.485
I also noticed on my path,
0:32:48.512,0:32:53.183
I have given some input and...
0:32:56.271,0:32:58.812
it wasn't in a way it could be received.
0:32:59.413,0:33:01.621
although I gave it [br]with the best of intentions
0:33:03.224,0:33:08.397
so I'm becoming more and more mindful
0:33:09.255,0:33:13.291
of how I give some encouragements.
0:33:14.983,0:33:19.063
However well meant, it needs to be [br]in the right way at the right time
0:33:22.656,0:33:26.452
But we may have a spiritual friend [br]who we know very well.
0:33:28.078,0:33:29.578
She can say a little bit more,
0:33:29.968,0:33:32.819
because we have this friendship [br]that holds all this
0:33:33.812,0:33:37.962
and she can say, [br]like one of my sisters said,
0:33:38.035,0:33:42.307
"well, you could look at the habit energy.
0:33:43.400,0:33:47.196
One of your habit energies is, [br]sometimes you're quite impulsive.
0:33:48.690,0:33:50.535
You react spontaneously to something,
0:33:51.716,0:33:54.145
but it may not always be [br]the right thing to do.
0:33:55.721,0:33:58.003
And I said, "Thank you, [br]I will look into that."
0:33:59.273,0:34:01.319
I know it came from her care.
0:34:02.888,0:34:06.523
So, having a good friend with whom [br]we can share, so that we can grow.
0:34:09.172,0:34:12.464
Our heart can become larger,[br]we can embrace more,
0:34:13.600,0:34:15.452
we can find more happiness
0:34:16.760,0:34:18.343
for ourselves and for others
0:34:21.090,0:34:25.308
So, to give some feedback,
0:34:26.086,0:34:28.425
we have to be aware of
0:34:28.712,0:34:31.268
from where we are giving that feedback.
0:34:34.891,0:34:38.747
Sometimes someone in our community [br]may be passing through a difficult time,
0:34:39.771,0:34:43.062
therefore also cause some difficulties, [br]some suffering to others
0:34:46.408,0:34:53.373
and I'm becoming more and more aware[br]of what this touches in me.
0:34:54.542,0:34:56.967
Sometimes it touches a kind of annoyance,
0:34:57.780,0:35:01.190
you know, can she not take better care [br]of her suffering,
0:35:02.089,0:35:04.742
instead of causing others also to suffer?
0:35:06.757,0:35:12.358
And then, not so long ago, I thought,[br]wait a minute.
0:35:13.716,0:35:17.740
If I were suffering, and somebody wanted[br]to point something out to me,
0:35:18.382,0:35:20.865
how would I like to be approached?
0:35:23.984,0:35:26.271
Then I thought, with kindness.
0:35:27.694,0:35:28.658
With some love.
0:35:30.096,0:35:34.188
So I took some time to be with my sister,
0:35:35.316,0:35:37.511
to be able to touch her suffering.
0:35:38.919,0:35:40.179
What is her suffering?
0:35:40.564,0:35:43.392
The little I know about the roots, [br]can I just touch it?
0:35:45.735,0:35:47.520
and then I could interact with her,
0:35:47.980,0:35:50.689
and a big smile came up on her lips,
0:35:51.724,0:35:57.147
and I thought, yes, that was [br]because I came with love in my heart,
0:35:58.641,0:36:01.072
with compassion, and not with annoyance.
0:36:02.763,0:36:05.289
and I thought just kindness,
0:36:06.414,0:36:08.148
just plain kindness,
0:36:11.107,0:36:12.665
how much does it take,
0:36:13.066,0:36:17.664
and I asked myself, why does it take me [br]so long sometimes?
0:36:19.690,0:36:24.895
I realized, it takes long [br]because I'm not very kind to myself.
0:36:26.131,0:36:28.861
How can I be kind to others [br]if I'm not kind to myself?
0:36:29.324,0:36:31.143
Can I have a little bit more kindness
0:36:31.143,0:36:33.564
and a little bit more compassion [br]to watch myself?
0:36:38.184,0:36:43.047
So lately I've been practising to look [br]at myself with the eyes of compassion.
0:36:46.263,0:36:51.025
and to see, [br]why do I think the way I think,
0:36:52.168,0:36:54.599
why do I speak the way I speak?
0:36:55.345,0:36:57.753
Why do I act the way I act,
0:36:59.056,0:37:01.519
in my interactions with others.
0:37:03.469,0:37:05.211
What is happening for me?
0:37:10.073,0:37:14.309
And when I look and I see my shortcomings,
0:37:16.543,0:37:19.909
maybe a little impatience,
0:37:22.777,0:37:26.294
a lack of understanding of myself also,
0:37:28.606,0:37:31.787
I think, can I just accept myself as I am?
0:37:32.802,0:37:37.700
I am as I am, because of [br]many causes and conditions
0:37:41.714,0:37:44.672
All the seeds that were watered in me[br]during my lifetime,
0:37:45.886,0:37:49.422
that I have allowed to be watered [br]in me, during my lifetime,
0:37:50.983,0:37:53.926
maybe seeds I have inherited [br]from my ancestors
0:37:55.411,0:37:58.409
I want something to be solved quickly,[br]I'm very efficient.
0:37:59.451,0:38:03.059
but that's not always the best way [br]to approach an issue
0:38:06.762,0:38:08.340
Sometimes you need time.
0:38:09.609,0:38:11.272
One time I went to Thay and I said:
0:38:11.272,0:38:14.610
"Thay, I'd like to address this issue [br]with one of the sisters."
0:38:15.559,0:38:17.305
And Thay said: "Too soon.
0:38:18.526,0:38:20.396
Too soon, you have to wait."
0:38:21.477,0:38:24.665
Thay told me: "Sometimes Thay also [br]has to wait for six months."
0:38:25.988,0:38:30.000
and I thought, ok, let me walk [br]in the footsteps of my teacher,
0:38:30.592,0:38:31.947
and practise waiting.
0:38:32.460,0:38:34.148
Six months at least,
0:38:35.781,0:38:37.488
you'll see when the time is right.
0:38:37.666,0:38:40.195
I realized time needs to be right in me.
0:38:42.073,0:38:46.470
When I can approach with loving kindness[br]as a spiritual friend
0:38:47.340,0:38:51.029
when I can approach with compassion,[br]then the time may be right.
0:38:52.165,0:38:54.664
It's not only the time [br]for the other person,
0:38:55.324,0:38:57.151
but for me, I have to be ready.
0:38:59.986,0:39:01.313
So, to offer time.
0:39:04.779,0:39:08.390
The second aspect of True Love [br]is Karuna, compassion.
0:39:09.173,0:39:13.355
It means the intention and the capacity[br]to relieve the suffering.
0:39:14.709,0:39:16.573
First of all, our own suffering.
0:39:17.232,0:39:22.469
A lot of our suffering is caused by [br]wrong perceptions, as we already heard.
0:39:24.287,0:39:27.413
So it's always good to go [br]and check our perceptions
0:39:28.686,0:39:32.965
"the other day, you said this; [br]can you tell me why you said that?"
0:39:36.063,0:39:39.775
In the beginning I said,[br]"You said that!"
0:39:41.572,0:39:42.837
quite unkindly.
0:39:43.486,0:39:44.703
"Why did you say this?"
0:39:45.661,0:39:50.218
I realize it doesn't inspire [br]the other person to reply
0:39:52.004,0:39:55.125
because there is already [br]a criticism in there,
0:39:55.914,0:39:58.433
the tone of my voice, the words I use.
0:39:59.864,0:40:04.386
So, to ask, to check my perceptions,
0:40:04.848,0:40:09.876
I also need to come from a place [br]of really wanting to understand
0:40:10.700,0:40:14.725
and to give the other person[br]the benefit of the doubt.
0:40:18.712,0:40:22.876
I also am unskillful at times,[br]not necessarily on purpose,
0:40:25.593,0:40:29.519
and I also appreciate when somebody [br]gives me the benefit of the doubt.
0:40:33.319,0:40:36.900
So, trust the other person,[br]we'll then be able
0:40:38.297,0:40:42.700
to understand that sharing with us,
0:40:43.172,0:40:44.722
why we said something,
0:40:44.736,0:40:47.256
will help relieve the suffering in us.
0:40:56.102,0:41:00.374
Sometimes we find it difficult[br]to be with the suffering of someone else,
0:41:00.736,0:41:04.676
and we like it to go away,
0:41:06.497,0:41:10.584
because their suffering makes us suffer.
0:41:10.843,0:41:12.603
We suffer because they suffer.
0:41:13.594,0:41:16.701
We have the intention [br]to help relieve their suffering,
0:41:17.637,0:41:23.104
but actually, underneath, there's the wish[br]that if they don't suffer anymore,
0:41:23.775,0:41:24.993
then I feel better.
0:41:25.596,0:41:27.494
So we're doing it with a self-interest.
0:41:29.144,0:41:33.327
My experience is, when I do this,[br]it doesn't work.
0:41:34.644,0:41:35.742
It just doesn't work.
0:41:37.628,0:41:40.199
I think, when we suffer, [br]we're very sensitive
0:41:40.199,0:41:43.250
to with what kind of energy [br]someone approaches us.
0:41:44.559,0:41:46.013
If they want us not to suffer,
0:41:46.493,0:41:49.590
because our suffering [br]is causing them difficulties,
0:41:49.702,0:41:51.053
is causing them suffering,
0:41:51.682,0:41:55.416
so, "stop suffering please, [br]so I can be happy",
0:41:56.301,0:41:57.659
it doesn't work like that.
0:42:00.445,0:42:03.008
If we listen in order to help [br]relieve the suffering,
0:42:03.008,0:42:07.265
it's with the sole purpose [br]that we would like the other person
0:42:08.902,0:42:10.614
to be relieved of their suffering,
0:42:11.026,0:42:12.137
not because of us.
0:42:13.439,0:42:17.626
If we find it difficult to be [br]with their suffering, we have to look,
0:42:18.165,0:42:21.800
why is it difficult to be [br]with the suffering of the other?
0:42:22.863,0:42:23.814
to understand,
0:42:26.254,0:42:28.494
and to look after ourselves in a way
0:42:29.344,0:42:34.033
that we can take care of our suffering,
0:42:34.638,0:42:37.849
and then, maybe we're able [br]to be with their suffering.
0:42:41.173,0:42:44.371
At times, when we are [br]with somebody who suffers,
0:42:44.885,0:42:46.724
we just need to be with them.
0:42:47.196,0:42:49.285
Just sitting next to them, breathing,
0:42:50.113,0:42:52.219
not being overwhelmed by their suffering,
0:42:52.847,0:42:54.907
not being carried away by their suffering.
0:42:56.406,0:42:59.045
Maybe just an arm around their shoulders.
0:43:01.120,0:43:03.662
Just to know that we are there for them.
0:43:03.857,0:43:05.137
and that's all.
0:43:10.770,0:43:12.098
Many years ago,
0:43:17.537,0:43:21.541
I lived in a small center [br]with some other monastics,
0:43:22.897,0:43:28.859
and we had a neighbor, [br]and the wife was ill, she was dying.
0:43:29.744,0:43:32.422
Whenever he wanted to go shopping,
0:43:32.973,0:43:36.820
he came to our door to ask [br]one of us to be with his wife.
0:43:38.394,0:43:44.007
So we would sit at her side[br]and breathe, and just be there.
0:43:44.726,0:43:45.875
Maybe hold her hand.
0:43:47.167,0:43:48.706
Not really saying much.
0:43:53.014,0:43:54.796
One day, he came again,[br]and he said:
0:43:54.953,0:43:57.885
"Sorry, I always come to ask one of you,
0:43:58.275,0:44:04.579
because Lucie is so calm and peaceful[br]when one of you is there."
0:44:06.442,0:44:09.897
So I spoke to the other sister and said:[br]"What do you do?"
0:44:10.178,0:44:12.586
She said: "Nothing. I just sit there."
0:44:13.283,0:44:14.508
I said: "So do I."
0:44:14.658,0:44:17.534
And I asked her: "Are you afraid?"[br]and she said: "No."
0:44:18.261,0:44:19.724
I said: "Neither am I."
0:44:20.764,0:44:24.379
So we could be with her fear.[br]We could just be there.
0:44:25.635,0:44:27.040
We didn't need to say much.
0:44:28.436,0:44:32.274
And she was peaceful, and at ease.
0:44:35.873,0:44:37.828
So, we don't always need words.
0:44:39.375,0:44:43.958
Our true presence is already here,[br]and soothing.
0:44:46.170,0:44:48.729
Maybe we can enjoy a sound of the bell,
0:44:50.989,0:44:55.021
and bring our mind home to our body,
0:44:56.293,0:44:58.372
so we can make ourselves truly present
0:44:59.121,0:45:01.488
especially present for ourselves,
0:45:04.688,0:45:09.295
and maybe we don't need [br]to say anything to ourselves,
0:45:10.044,0:45:11.516
but just be there.
0:45:11.881,0:45:15.481
Be with whatever is present in us.
0:45:24.888,0:45:33.208
[gong]
0:46:03.674,0:46:05.092
Boddhisatva
0:46:06.665,0:46:09.760
As I was sitting here, I was saying,[br]"just be with the heat,"
0:46:09.894,0:46:12.402
and then, "but look [br]at the people in front of me,
0:46:12.412,0:46:14.213
it's much hotter there."
0:46:14.562,0:46:17.956
You're surrounded by 37°, many
0:46:18.242,0:46:19.543
and I have a fan.
0:46:37.642,0:46:40.681
One time, one of my sisters[br]came to share her suffering with me,
0:46:41.061,0:46:42.334
and I jumped into action,
0:46:43.251,0:46:45.850
I came up with a number of solutions.
0:46:46.644,0:46:50.924
She said: "But Sœur Dieu,[br]I just want you to listen to me."
0:46:51.934,0:46:53.547
I thought: "Oh yes, of course."
0:46:54.797,0:46:58.868
That's all. [br]That's more precious than anything else,
0:46:59.429,0:47:02.507
my solutions are my solutions, not hers.
0:47:04.968,0:47:06.902
So, let's imagine,
0:47:08.896,0:47:13.058
that we're faced [br]with a difficult situation.
0:47:18.374,0:47:20.533
How would we like to be approached?
0:47:21.800,0:47:27.180
What kind of action or non-action [br]would help us to embrace our suffering?
0:47:29.065,0:47:31.966
It could be a bigger or smaller suffering.
0:47:32.999,0:47:36.014
Maybe it's something [br]that you can offer yourself.
0:47:36.988,0:47:40.329
So, maybe we'll just close our eyes[br]and have another sound of the bell,
0:47:40.329,0:47:41.819
and let's just go to ourselves,
0:47:43.715,0:47:48.761
how would I like to be approached?
0:48:09.589,0:48:14.821
[gong]
0:48:52.009,0:48:56.350
As I said before, what came up for me[br]this time again, is the question,
0:48:56.350,0:48:58.150
do I understand you enough?
0:48:58.899,0:49:00.801
Do I understand myself enough?
0:49:04.959,0:49:06.570
What can I offer myself?
0:49:08.375,0:49:13.177
The third aspect of True Love is Muditha,[br]it means joy.
0:49:14.297,0:49:16.275
Muditha, it means joy.
0:49:26.491,0:49:28.849
Joy and happiness, born from letting go.
0:49:32.550,0:49:35.345
Many small things can bring joy.
0:49:37.323,0:49:39.421
Coming back to the present moment,
0:49:39.497,0:49:41.857
we can nourish our joy [br]with the beauty around us,
0:49:42.330,0:49:45.835
we can nourish our joy with the presence[br]of our loved ones around us.
0:49:50.684,0:49:53.865
We feel the gratitude and the joy[br]of their presence in our lives.
0:49:57.345,0:50:03.257
And the joy that is an immeasurable mind,
0:50:03.947,0:50:07.532
is the joy that is filled [br]with peace and contentment.
0:50:08.051,0:50:10.225
So it's not the joy that has excitement
0:50:10.806,0:50:13.423
it is this peace and contentment.
0:50:15.945,0:50:18.834
And we feel this joy for ourselves[br]and for others.
0:50:22.236,0:50:23.592
It's also the joy,
0:50:31.868,0:50:33.691
when someone we love is happy,
0:50:34.106,0:50:36.798
when someone we love [br]maybe went through a difficult time
0:50:37.375,0:50:38.568
and then is happy.
0:50:38.953,0:50:40.249
We feel this joy for them.
0:50:41.031,0:50:42.290
"I'm so happy for you."
0:50:43.479,0:50:44.715
That kind of joy.
0:50:46.201,0:50:50.686
We rejoice in the well-being of others,[br]that kind of joy.
0:50:51.603,0:50:55.357
In our daily life we'll see [br]there are more opportunities than we think
0:50:57.485,0:51:01.061
to have joy and to rejoice [br]in the happiness of others.
0:51:13.234,0:51:18.917
The last aspect of True Love is Upeksha.
0:51:19.629,0:51:21.031
Upeksha.
0:51:25.140,0:51:26.782
It means inclusiveness.
0:51:30.188,0:51:34.610
It means "we love everyone equally."
0:51:41.117,0:51:46.141
The ones we find easy to love and [br]the ones we find more difficult to love.
0:51:50.078,0:51:54.397
As I said, we have the potential[br]to do this already, right?
0:51:55.005,0:51:57.156
It needs to be watered,
0:51:57.363,0:52:01.391
that seed needs to be watered[br]in order to manifest as a state of mind.
0:52:02.278,0:52:03.820
If, at the moment, we say:
0:52:03.996,0:52:08.154
"To love everybody, to be inclusive,[br]I'm not there yet",
0:52:08.905,0:52:12.769
That's alright, [br]because we're still practising,
0:52:13.578,0:52:15.158
we're going in the direction.
0:52:18.095,0:52:24.889
To love everyone equally[br]also stems from compassion.
0:52:28.523,0:52:30.143
How can we be compassionate
0:52:30.143,0:52:36.953
to somebody who behaves in a way[br]that causes suffering to other people?
0:52:44.365,0:52:48.607
If we try to put ourselves [br]in the skin of that person,
0:52:50.431,0:52:52.157
and try to imagine,
0:52:56.232,0:53:01.185
what was the kind of family [br]this person may have been born into?
0:53:02.481,0:53:04.273
What was the childhood like?
0:53:04.273,0:53:06.460
What was their environment[br]when they grew up?
0:53:07.639,0:53:10.301
What were the people they interacted with?
0:53:12.751,0:53:15.026
What kind of education did he have?
0:53:17.189,0:53:19.198
The environment forms us,
0:53:19.573,0:53:21.760
so what is the environment [br]they grew up with?
0:53:22.425,0:53:25.839
Was it an environment that was[br]full of understanding and love,
0:53:26.080,0:53:29.091
or was it an environment where [br]there was hatred and violence?
0:53:29.664,0:53:31.329
If there was hatred and violence,
0:53:31.801,0:53:35.935
the seed of hatred and violence [br]was watered in them
0:53:39.656,0:53:42.479
The seeds of discrimination [br]was watered in them.
0:53:44.375,0:53:47.323
So, no wonder they are the way they are.
0:53:49.510,0:53:52.498
If we can really put ourselves [br]in the skin of the other,
0:53:54.195,0:53:57.222
understand how they came [br]to be as they are,
0:53:58.087,0:54:02.903
then we can include them in our love.
0:54:06.395,0:54:08.425
Because we have compassion.
0:54:09.791,0:54:13.937
Compassion does not mean [br]that we condone the act,
0:54:14.983,0:54:17.453
what they did is not right,
0:54:19.016,0:54:22.037
but we can understand [br]what brought them to that point
0:54:23.983,0:54:30.751
what kind of mental food did they get,
0:54:32.140,0:54:33.910
to what were they exposed?
0:54:35.571,0:54:39.854
Thay says: "If we were born[br]where they were born,
0:54:40.513,0:54:42.432
in the family, in their environment,
0:54:45.446,0:54:47.428
we would do exactly the same."
0:54:48.479,0:54:49.870
[alarm clock sounds]
0:54:50.803,0:54:52.007
This is my alarm.
0:54:54.813,0:54:57.211
We would do exactly the same.
0:54:57.837,0:54:59.731
In the beginning I thought,[br]no, I won't.
0:55:02.074,0:55:03.826
And then I thought, ah!
0:55:07.851,0:55:12.399
But that means, I'm not putting myself[br]in the skin of the other person.
0:55:16.980,0:55:19.221
I haven't looked deeply enough.
0:55:21.087,0:55:25.095
And, there is compassion and there is pity
0:55:25.921,0:55:28.874
Pity doesn't go anywhere,
0:55:29.804,0:55:35.867
but compassion motivates us [br]to do something, to act.
0:55:39.219,0:55:43.711
Maybe that person who does something [br]to cause suffering to others
0:55:43.842,0:55:46.563
needs our help, [br]because there's a lack of understanding.
0:55:46.689,0:55:49.584
You do suffering to the others,[br]you're doing it to yourself.
0:55:52.176,0:55:55.856
If you think, causing suffering to [br]somebody else is bringing you happiness,
0:55:56.051,0:55:56.962
it's not.
0:55:59.012,0:56:01.579
Maybe they don't know,[br]and we need to help them.
0:56:02.391,0:56:05.495
And that's our engagement,[br]and Thay is very engaged.
0:56:06.532,0:56:09.513
Thay has spoken to politicians,[br]to business people.
0:56:13.221,0:56:15.770
In many countries Thay has adressed issues
0:56:16.916,0:56:19.984
that were happening in the country,
0:56:20.922,0:56:26.881
in order to help the politicians [br]understand, and the people to understand
0:56:29.337,0:56:30.487
what we can do,
0:56:31.740,0:56:37.350
and also what maybe [br]would be better not to do.
0:56:44.416,0:56:53.330
So, with compassion and understanding[br]how things come to be,
0:56:54.029,0:56:56.638
our love can become inclusive.
0:56:58.422,0:57:00.654
Of course, as I said before,
0:57:02.854,0:57:09.201
the foundation for that is, [br]can we include ourselves in this love?
0:57:12.366,0:57:18.079
With all our strengths and weaknesses,[br]can we do that?
0:57:22.443,0:57:25.561
So, practising and developing[br]these four immeasurable minds
0:57:26.264,0:57:29.435
is the best way to take care of ourselves[br]our loved ones,
0:57:29.918,0:57:31.397
and all other beings.
0:57:31.679,0:57:34.075
So they're not a kind of tools [br]that we have, like,
0:57:34.075,0:57:36.095
"oh I think we need loving kindness here,"
0:57:36.119,0:57:37.879
"oh, I think I need compassion,"
0:57:37.901,0:57:40.316
"oh, I think I need joy,[br]or inclusiveness."
0:57:40.969,0:57:41.700
No.
0:57:43.424,0:57:50.068
It is, developing these aspects of love [br]in ourselves
0:57:50.834,0:57:58.119
so that we can respond to life [br]from these aspects.
0:58:03.853,0:58:08.357
To bring these four aspects [br]of love to mind, every day,
0:58:10.588,0:58:13.352
to water the seeds, to remember
0:58:16.137,0:58:19.307
that we can respond with loving kindness
0:58:20.981,0:58:24.981
we can respond with joy [br]to the joy of others
0:58:26.059,0:58:28.949
we can respond with compassion [br]to the suffering,
0:58:30.335,0:58:37.055
we can respond with inclusiveness [br]to all beings, including Mother Earth.
0:58:47.634,0:58:49.813
They become a state of mind.
0:58:50.064,0:58:53.414
And when we bring them to mind often,[br]the Buddha said:
0:58:53.414,0:59:00.144
"Whatever we think about, or ponder upon, [br]becomes the inclination of our mind.
0:59:00.836,0:59:04.116
Becomes the way we respond to life."
0:59:05.017,0:59:08.247
So we may like to look, how do we [br]respond to life right now?
0:59:08.669,0:59:14.399
Is it with fear? Is it with worries?
0:59:15.006,0:59:20.086
Is it with anger?[br]Is it with love?
0:59:20.410,0:59:21.940
How do we respond to life?
0:59:23.514,0:59:27.994
Just to know and say: [br]"Ok, this is where I stand now.
0:59:28.999,0:59:31.579
Practising the Four Immeasurable Minds,
0:59:32.132,0:59:36.592
I go in the direction of responding [br]to life with True Love.
0:59:38.789,0:59:45.149
It's not only to life, [br]but also to individuals,
0:59:45.761,0:59:48.221
the person who's right next to me, [br]next to us,
0:59:48.744,0:59:51.614
the person we hope [br]to spend our whole life with,
0:59:52.432,0:59:55.192
can we have this mind of love [br]towards them?
0:59:56.035,1:00:06.495
This True Love, that is not centered [br]on just ourselves.
1:00:11.379,1:00:18.099
Instead of our love being like a cage,[br]robbing our loved one of their freedom,
1:00:18.545,1:00:23.285
our love is wide [br]and embraces all aspects of them.
1:00:27.418,1:00:30.898
Maybe we can think of our loved one as...
1:00:31.397,1:00:34.297
a nice breeze that you hopefully [br]will experience soon
1:00:37.421,1:00:43.381
If we want to catch the breeze [br]and consider it our own,
1:00:43.958,1:00:46.486
it's like putting the little breeze [br]in a little cage,
1:00:46.486,1:00:48.978
and what happens [br]when you put it in a little cage...
1:00:50.579,1:00:51.437
it dies.
1:00:52.344,1:00:56.176
In fact, I reflected on this, [br]if we love like that,
1:00:57.205,1:01:02.096
then the things we love in the other [br]person, will no longer be there.
1:01:05.177,1:01:07.376
as you will stop loving her [br]very, very soon.
1:01:07.732,1:01:10.200
We will stop loving them very, very soon.
1:01:12.212,1:01:17.323
So, let's infuse our minds [br]with these four aspects of love,
1:01:18.081,1:01:21.687
so that we can love, and be loved
1:01:22.378,1:01:24.979
and offer True Love [br]to ourselves and others.
1:01:25.905,1:01:27.393
And now I'm going to offer you
1:01:30.232,1:01:31.718
a nice breeze outside.
1:01:31.961,1:01:35.961
Thank you for being there,[br]free as the breeze.
1:01:38.055,1:01:40.235
Happy continuation on your path,
1:01:41.714,1:01:44.774
may every step bring you [br]peace and happiness,
1:01:46.726,1:01:50.726
and remember, smile, [br]breathe when you look deeply,
1:01:51.561,1:01:53.411
and enjoy every step you take.
1:01:54.289,1:01:55.589
Thank you very much.
1:02:06.609,1:02:15.229
[gong]
1:02:36.960,1:02:46.972
[gong]
1:03:05.208,1:03:16.088
[gong]