0:00:09.549,0:00:20.343 [gong] 0:00:41.240,0:00:52.937 [gong] 0:01:11.657,0:01:22.712 [gong] 0:01:41.067,0:01:42.260 So, good afternoon, 0:01:44.260,0:01:48.881 dear respected Thay, dear beloved [br]brothers and sisters and friends 0:01:50.790,0:01:56.118 Today is Thursday, the 26th of July 2018 0:02:00.235,0:02:05.689 We are in the Still Water Hall, [br]meditation hall of Upper Hamlet 0:02:07.248,0:02:14.259 and this is the last Dharma Talk of the [br]third week of our annual Summer Retreat. 0:02:14.851,0:02:16.875 and it's very hot. 0:02:18.784,0:02:24.632 Thank you for coming to sit here,[br]I try to keep it short and sweet, 0:02:25.190,0:02:29.080 so we can all go out [br]and enjoy some fresh air after this. 0:02:30.722,0:02:35.107 Today I'll be speaking [br]about the four Brahmavirahas, 0:02:35.697,0:02:41.878 the four immeasurable minds [br]that really are a guide 0:02:42.183,0:02:48.315 to how we can respond [br]to life situations with love 0:02:49.012,0:02:50.505 and I think it's a hot day, 0:02:50.937,0:02:53.956 so maybe we have to respond [br]with love by keeping it short. 0:02:56.592,0:03:01.045 Today we celebrate the Full Moon festival[br]together, here in Upper Hamlet 0:03:02.894,0:03:05.927 and that's why we have [br]the Dharma talk in the afternoon, 0:03:07.185,0:03:13.135 so the friends from the New Hamlet don't [br]need to ride the bus back and forth twice. 0:03:14.481,0:03:16.689 An expression of love and understanding. 0:03:18.258,0:03:19.265 A good start. 0:03:21.246,0:03:24.372 We started this week with a smile, [br]do you remember? 0:03:25.598,0:03:30.014 Sister Hoi Nghiem shared how [br]every morning when she recites the ghata, 0:03:31.570,0:03:33.168 waking up this morning I smile, 0:03:33.799,0:03:36.189 24 brand new hours are before me, 0:03:37.547,0:03:39.585 I vow to live them fully each moment 0:03:39.585,0:03:42.530 and look at all beings [br]with the eyes of compassion. 0:03:43.793,0:03:46.333 And when she notices [br]that she forgot to smile, 0:03:46.656,0:03:49.933 she will lie down again [br]and start all over again. 0:03:51.076,0:03:55.171 So my question is, how many times [br]did you lie down again this week? 0:03:57.168,0:03:58.452 Did you remember? 0:04:00.297,0:04:04.410 But that story definitely brought [br]a smile to our face, didn't it? 0:04:07.128,0:04:08.406 Anyway, 0:04:11.463,0:04:18.904 in case you missed the chance [br]to smile, we're waking up. 0:04:19.689,0:04:24.486 I thought, maybe we start by giving you [br]a chance to smile 0:04:26.999,0:04:29.010 and to enjoy your smile. 0:04:42.758,0:04:45.828 A smile makes us feel better [br]straight away. 0:04:46.332,0:04:48.308 whether we're the ones who receive it, 0:04:48.794,0:04:50.424 or the ones who offer it. 0:04:50.975,0:04:53.706 or the ones who just smile [br]because, why not? 0:04:54.707,0:04:56.200 Why would we not smile? 0:04:56.660,0:04:58.963 It makes us feel better straight away. 0:05:02.364,0:05:05.421 and as we heard, [br]it's the best way to start the day 0:05:06.857,0:05:09.277 A smile can even turn "Monday morning", 0:05:09.580,0:05:12.458 if that still exists, nowadays [br]that we work from home 0:05:13.047,0:05:15.664 Monday morning, not a too pleasant morning 0:05:16.323,0:05:21.005 and I hope that it can also turn[br]a hot Thursday afternoon 0:05:21.805,0:05:23.432 into a pleasant afternoon. 0:05:25.760,0:05:30.010 Let's start with a short meditation [br]to bring our mind home to our body. 0:05:30.611,0:05:32.095 Make yourself comfortable. 0:05:38.867,0:05:42.098 and let's bring some loving [br]kindness to ourselves 0:05:43.860,0:05:49.585 by, during the meditation, [br]going through our body 0:05:50.506,0:05:54.669 and whenever we encounter [br]a feeling of tension, 0:05:56.209,0:06:00.059 on the outbreath, to relax the tension, [br]to soften it 0:06:01.021,0:06:04.889 and to smile to it, to say,[br]"I know you're there, 0:06:06.688,0:06:09.961 I love you too, you are also me. 0:06:13.339,0:06:16.589 So let's start by enjoying [br]a sound of the bell. 0:06:28.998,0:06:39.895 [gong] 0:06:59.328,0:07:03.302 Let us become aware of the air [br]as it flows into and out of our body, 0:07:06.232,0:07:08.546 and smile to our inbreath and outbreath 0:07:14.498,0:07:17.944 knowing that we are alive in this moment. 0:07:25.821,0:07:27.399 Let us become aware of our body 0:07:29.040,0:07:32.099 and scan our body from the top of our head 0:07:32.910,0:07:35.251 all the way down to the tip of our toes. 0:07:38.970,0:07:44.279 And we sweep along any tension [br]we may find on our way 0:07:46.771,0:07:49.362 Maybe there's tension in our head, 0:07:50.547,0:07:52.753 maybe behind our forehead, 0:07:55.968,0:07:59.140 or around our eyes, behind our eyes, 0:08:03.101,0:08:04.603 around our ears 0:08:07.951,0:08:09.336 our jaws, 0:08:13.046,0:08:14.514 maybe our neck, 0:08:17.077,0:08:20.211 and on every outbreath, we smile, 0:08:22.301,0:08:29.745 which helps to soften [br]the tension we encounter. 0:08:34.591,0:08:36.174 Become aware of our shoulders, 0:08:39.965,0:08:42.314 and then sweep down into the arms, 0:08:45.769,0:08:49.214 our hands and our fingers. 0:08:51.002,0:08:54.900 On every outbreath, softening the tension 0:08:55.392,0:08:57.614 by offering it a smile. 0:09:05.406,0:09:07.522 We sweep down our trunk 0:09:08.674,0:09:11.023 our back and our front. 0:09:14.774,0:09:18.103 And then the lower part of our body, 0:09:19.887,0:09:23.194 the buttocks and the abdomen. 0:09:26.755,0:09:32.172 Softening any tension we may find[br]in the buttocks or in the abdomen 0:09:34.112,0:09:36.037 by offering it a smile. 0:09:44.979,0:09:46.681 Then we sweep down into the legs, 0:09:49.121,0:09:51.059 all the way down into the feet, 0:09:52.608,0:09:54.734 to the tip of the toes. 0:09:57.268,0:10:03.488 And here too, softening any tension[br]we may encounter, 0:10:06.352,0:10:08.348 and offering it a smile. 0:10:18.171,0:10:20.229 Now become aware that we have arrived 0:10:20.893,0:10:23.139 on our chair or on our cushion 0:10:23.629,0:10:26.035 or on the ground, [br]if you're sitting on the ground. 0:10:32.165,0:10:36.896 Our body is here [br]and our mind is in the now, 0:10:37.031,0:10:38.431 in the present moment. 0:10:47.758,0:10:49.699 Body and mind, relaxed. 0:11:06.926,0:11:12.026 And we like to allow [br]a smile to be born on our lips. 0:11:41.745,0:11:53.066 [gong] 0:12:26.661,0:12:32.185 We usually smile when we want [br]to acknowledge the presence of someone, 0:12:33.547,0:12:35.247 of someone we meet, 0:12:35.872,0:12:38.787 it is very common to smile then. 0:12:40.090,0:12:43.033 When we walk around [br]the grounds of Plum Village 0:12:43.921,0:12:47.120 we're bound to meet people, [br]because there are many of us, here, 0:12:47.961,0:12:51.864 So we have a lot of opportunities [br]to smile throughout the day. 0:12:55.053,0:12:59.302 A smile or a nod of the head,[br]something like this. 0:13:00.151,0:13:03.949 In some cultures they do that, [br]not a smile. 0:13:07.371,0:13:10.337 At home, when we walk in the streets[br]and we meet a neighbor, 0:13:10.659,0:13:14.586 we also smile, even if they're [br]on the other side of the street 0:13:15.345,0:13:17.063 Maybe we wave as well, 0:13:17.989,0:13:19.868 but often, we just smile. 0:13:20.386,0:13:23.169 To let them know, "I see you," 0:13:24.015,0:13:28.709 "I've seen you, [br]I acknowledge your presence," 0:13:30.371,0:13:32.087 and this is very important. 0:13:39.437,0:13:44.038 Everybody needs love, needs to be loved, 0:13:45.027,0:13:48.212 and everybody has a need to love as well. 0:13:49.390,0:13:51.309 But very often, the way we love 0:13:55.040,0:13:58.401 ends up imprisoning the other person, 0:14:01.968,0:14:04.475 and also ourselves. 0:14:05.353,0:14:10.465 So how can we love and be free[br]at the same time? 0:14:24.584,0:14:28.689 What may happen when we meet somebody[br]and we offer them a smile, 0:14:29.997,0:14:31.784 tears come to their eyes. 0:14:32.936,0:14:37.594 Because they have a feeling [br]that they haven't been seen 0:14:38.849,0:14:42.718 or acknowledged in their being, [br]for a long time. 0:14:44.382,0:14:45.794 We may live with other people 0:14:47.517,0:14:48.775 but we're so busy, 0:14:49.685,0:14:52.569 we watch many things, 0:14:53.528,0:14:56.979 we look at many things, but [br]we don't look at the people we live with. 0:14:59.392,0:15:01.123 We already heard it this week, 0:15:01.744,0:15:06.916 but it also strikes me every time [br]I travel, for instance, 0:15:07.403,0:15:12.536 and I'm in the departure lounge,[br]there are many people, 0:15:13.617,0:15:16.171 and they're all sitting [br]with their gadgets, 0:15:17.983,0:15:20.880 Last time, when I came into the lounge, 0:15:21.342,0:15:25.719 I tried to guess who was with who.[br]That was quite difficult! 0:15:25.899,0:15:29.078 Because they're sitting with their [br]back to each other, doing this, 0:15:29.078,0:15:31.711 and I thought, [br]I don't think they came together. 0:15:32.249,0:15:34.845 But when it is time to board, [br]they speak to each other 0:15:34.845,0:15:37.575 and they go off together to board. 0:15:38.031,0:15:41.115 I said, "apparently [br]they did come together." 0:15:42.979,0:15:44.851 But it's difficult to tell. 0:15:46.639,0:15:50.388 Usually I can tell [br]if children and parents are together, 0:15:50.388,0:15:53.000 because they sit together [br]and they may say something, 0:15:53.000,0:15:56.486 but they're also quite... 0:16:02.937,0:16:06.656 immersed in whatever [br]they're doing with their gadgets 0:16:08.293,0:16:09.596 This is such a pity, 0:16:10.051,0:16:14.589 because the most precious thing we can [br]offer each other is our true presence. 0:16:16.285,0:16:22.655 And when we sit in a departure lounge,[br]a waiting room, 0:16:23.576,0:16:27.496 we have nowhere to go and nothing to do[br]until we board the plane. 0:16:28.753,0:16:31.814 It's a very good opportunity[br]to be there for each other. 0:16:32.747,0:16:35.606 and to just offer each other's presence. 0:16:41.279,0:16:46.970 Thay gave us a mantra that says[br]"I am here for you." 0:16:47.648,0:16:52.265 This is not a mantra in Sanskrit [br]or some other language, 0:16:53.003,0:16:57.524 this is a mantra in colloquial language, 0:16:57.869,0:16:59.173 "I am here for you." 0:16:59.743,0:17:01.535 In French, "Je suis là pour toi," 0:17:02.517,0:17:05.290 and you can translate it [br]into your own language. 0:17:06.787,0:17:08.657 and to go to our loved ones, 0:17:09.145,0:17:13.470 first, bring our mind home to our body,[br]as we did just now. 0:17:14.217,0:17:19.014 to be truly present, and then say:[br]"Darling, I'm here for you." 0:17:22.141,0:17:26.607 and then I leave it up to you[br]to discover what happens after that, 0:17:27.253,0:17:29.980 and then you can let us know next year. 0:17:31.044,0:17:32.453 I'm truly here for you. 0:17:37.032,0:17:43.295 To hear, to listen, to understand. 0:17:47.135,0:17:49.656 True Love comes from understanding, 0:17:50.141,0:17:52.770 and in order to understand,[br]we need to listen carefully. 0:17:54.000,0:17:56.913 We need to listen to what's being said[br]inbetween the lines 0:18:00.418,0:18:04.527 At the beginning of the week, [br]we chanted Namo Avalokiteshvaraya, 0:18:05.734,0:18:10.226 we invoked the name [br]of the Bodhisattva Avalokitha, 0:18:10.879,0:18:12.891 who has the capacity to listen, 0:18:13.770,0:18:18.294 and, also, to hear what's being said[br]and what is left unsaid. 0:18:20.160,0:18:25.359 To really listen, [br]because our loved one, or our friend, 0:18:25.916,0:18:27.431 our parent or our child, 0:18:27.880,0:18:29.807 may be saying something in words, 0:18:30.975,0:18:33.006 may be saying one thing in words, 0:18:33.571,0:18:36.692 but their eyes may be saying [br]something else. 0:18:38.950,0:18:43.592 So, being present and looking into [br]their eyes, maybe their body language, 0:18:44.644,0:18:48.223 we will be able to hear [br]what's being left unsaid, 0:18:49.114,0:18:51.426 but what actually wants to be heard. 0:18:52.707,0:18:54.277 What wants to be heard. 0:19:03.348,0:19:08.154 So let us enjoy a sound of the bell, 0:19:08.841,0:19:12.632 and offer ourselves our true presence [br]one more time. 0:19:12.991,0:19:14.871 Bringing our mind home to our body. 0:19:18.155,0:19:20.137 "Hello body, I'm here for you", 0:19:21.404,0:19:24.715 making ourselves present for ourselves. 0:19:35.933,0:19:47.667 [gong] 0:20:17.598,0:20:19.373 When I wake up in the morning, 0:20:20.966,0:20:24.760 like my sister,[br]I don't always remember to smile. 0:20:25.975,0:20:29.317 But I remember smiling in the morning,[br]better, 0:20:29.683,0:20:33.156 if I remember to smile [br]before I go to sleep. 0:20:34.299,0:20:37.419 So, if you didn't remember to smile[br]in the morning, 0:20:37.860,0:20:40.069 try smiling at night, 0:20:40.069,0:20:42.279 and you may also remember better. 0:20:43.729,0:20:45.962 But then, when I get to the bathroom, 0:20:46.265,0:20:47.597 I see a mirror. 0:20:48.261,0:20:51.595 When I first came to Plum Village,[br]we didn't have so many mirrors, 0:20:51.595,0:20:53.258 but now we have more mirrors, 0:20:53.319,0:20:54.901 so I have a chance to see myself. 0:20:57.335,0:21:00.477 Some of you who have been [br]coming for a long time, remember this. 0:21:04.314,0:21:09.002 We don't have any hair, I don't need [br]to put on make up and things like that 0:21:10.003,0:21:13.422 so I look in the mirror and I think,[br]why should I look in the mirror? 0:21:13.595,0:21:15.902 Oh, I could smile at myself, why not?[br] 0:21:16.173,0:21:17.267 "Hello! 0:21:19.629,0:21:23.019 Good morning, how are you?"[br]Why not? 0:21:23.019,0:21:24.496 So that's what I do. 0:21:25.417,0:21:30.165 I forget to smile when I wake up,[br]I remember when I look into the mirror. 0:21:31.233,0:21:35.175 Try it. It's bit kind of awkward [br]in the beginning, smiling at yourself 0:21:35.797,0:21:37.283 but it's worth the while. 0:21:37.942,0:21:40.696 If we practise, [br]if we're talking about true love 0:21:41.091,0:21:43.458 maybe we can start by loving ourselves. 0:21:44.233,0:21:47.458 So the least we can do, [br]is offering ourselves a smile. 0:21:49.373,0:21:53.971 And saying, ok, I know you're there,[br]and I'm so happy. 0:21:54.315,0:21:55.553 How are you today? 0:21:59.594,0:22:00.662 When we smile, 0:22:03.759,0:22:06.797 in the gatha, we smile to a new day. 0:22:08.415,0:22:12.047 In the gatha, that's the little poem [br]that the sister recited, 0:22:12.595,0:22:14.504 waking up this morning, I smile, 0:22:14.940,0:22:18.191 it's a little poem that we recite [br]when we wake up in the morning. 0:22:19.290,0:22:20.867 When we wake up in the morning,[br] 0:22:20.890,0:22:24.779 because we want to water [br]the seed of compassion in us. 0:22:25.244,0:22:27.577 To look at all beings with compassion, 0:22:28.403,0:22:32.017 and I thought, well, since I'm [br]the first being to meet this morning, 0:22:33.273,0:22:34.995 why not smile to myself? 0:22:37.143,0:22:40.929 So we wake up [br]and we can smile to the new day. 0:22:41.752,0:22:43.272 This is a new day. 0:22:46.268,0:22:49.741 We could reflect,[br]how did I live my day yesterday? 0:22:50.788,0:22:51.961 This is a new day.[br] 0:22:52.541,0:22:55.283 I can live it [br]with a little bit more compassion 0:22:57.705,0:22:59.636 for myself and for others. 0:23:01.944,0:23:06.087 We smile to the people around us,[br]our loved ones, and smile to nature. 0:23:06.442,0:23:08.928 Sometimes it seems much easier 0:23:08.928,0:23:12.048 to smile to a singing bird [br]or to a tree or to a flower 0:23:12.722,0:23:14.953 than to the person who's right next to us. 0:23:17.044,0:23:21.669 However, the person who's right next to us[br]is also a flower. 0:23:22.876,0:23:27.129 And our smile will make her, [br]him, them, bloom. 0:23:29.951,0:23:34.862 So we can practice smiling to nature 0:23:35.415,0:23:40.640 in order to develop [br]the capacity of smiling. 0:23:43.386,0:23:46.708 We can also smile to our joy,[br]as well as our suffering. 0:23:47.961,0:23:51.191 And then we can just smile[br]for the joy of smiling. 0:23:53.080,0:23:54.305 Many years ago, 0:23:57.124,0:24:01.417 this was before I ordained,[br]but I already knew of the practice, 0:24:02.725,0:24:04.179 I was walking down the street, 0:24:04.683,0:24:07.293 and all of a sudden somebody stopped[br]and turned around, 0:24:07.293,0:24:09.431 and I thought, [br]Oh, maybe I know this person, 0:24:09.608,0:24:11.727 so I turned around and said:[br]"Do I know you?" 0:24:12.388,0:24:15.766 He said: "No - such a beautiful smile,"[br]and I said: "Oh? Ok." 0:24:16.633,0:24:19.138 And I thought, [br]I didn't even know I was smiling, 0:24:19.498,0:24:23.596 but I was smiling [br]for no reason whatsoever, 0:24:24.532,0:24:30.758 just smile because I was feeling well, [br]I guess. 0:24:31.114,0:24:31.856 You know? 0:24:32.157,0:24:33.253 I was smiling. 0:24:33.478,0:24:37.069 So we don't need a specific [br]or a particular reason to smile, 0:24:38.578,0:24:40.703 we can smile just like that. 0:24:46.292,0:24:51.695 Thay said: "Sometimes our smile [br]is born from love, 0:24:52.181,0:24:55.332 and sometimes love [br]is born from our smile." 0:24:57.360,0:24:58.430 I like that. 0:25:04.759,0:25:06.894 So true love has four aspects, 0:25:07.134,0:25:09.821 and these four aspects [br]are within ourselves. 0:25:10.110,0:25:12.970 They are within ourselves [br]in the form of a seed. 0:25:13.882,0:25:15.850 We already heard about seeds this week, 0:25:16.298,0:25:17.699 in our store consciousness, 0:25:18.146,0:25:20.387 that need to be watered in order to bloom, 0:25:20.827,0:25:21.968 into a flower. 0:25:22.163,0:25:24.733 That is to say, a seed is a potential. 0:25:25.335,0:25:30.781 We have the capacity to love, 0:25:30.844,0:25:33.424 to have loving kindness in our heart. 0:25:33.708,0:25:36.331 We have the capacity to be compassionate. 0:25:36.915,0:25:39.133 We have the capacity to feel joy, 0:25:39.869,0:25:45.423 we have the capacity to feel equanimity[br]and to be inclusive. 0:25:46.612,0:25:50.670 It's in seed form, the potential,[br]and when it's watered, 0:25:51.559,0:25:53.467 when the seed gets water, 0:25:56.205,0:25:59.746 then it manifests as a mental formation, 0:25:59.912,0:26:02.949 or in other words, as a state of mind. 0:26:04.506,0:26:08.476 So these four aspects of love, [br]we call them: 0:26:10.358,0:26:15.448 the Four Immeasurable States of Mind,[br]the immeasurable minds. 0:26:16.807,0:26:23.395 And they're immeasurable [br]because we can extend these aspects 0:26:23.960,0:26:27.395 to all beings and to everything that is, 0:26:27.911,0:26:29.483 including Mother Earth. 0:26:29.984,0:26:31.518 They have no limit, 0:26:32.222,0:26:34.739 the unlimited minds. 0:26:37.067,0:26:42.917 They're within us, so it's not [br]something we have to get somewhere, 0:26:43.466,0:26:45.781 they are in us in potential. 0:26:46.468,0:26:48.658 So it's a matter of watering them. 0:26:49.301,0:26:54.554 We can water the seeds by practising [br]Deep Looking and Deep Listening 0:26:57.305,0:27:03.839 The first aspect is Maïtri, [br]also called Loving Kindness 0:27:04.471,0:27:07.155 or, here in Plum Village, [br]we sometimes call it Love. 0:27:07.514,0:27:08.570 Just Love. 0:27:11.509,0:27:16.405 It is the intention [br]and the capacity to love. 0:27:17.784,0:27:21.490 We may have an intention, but that doesn't[br]mean we have the capacity. 0:27:22.083,0:27:24.599 The capacity, we develop. 0:27:27.187,0:27:31.715 And the capacity to love [br]stems from understanding. 0:27:37.409,0:27:39.945 The capacity to offer joy and happiness, 0:27:46.767,0:27:52.040 in order to offer happiness to others,[br]we have to understand them. 0:27:52.338,0:27:55.252 We have to know their aspirations,[br]their dreams, 0:27:58.391,0:27:59.402 their hopes. 0:28:01.203,0:28:04.864 What is it they hope for in their lives?[br]What is it? 0:28:07.453,0:28:12.015 Sometimes our parents have had dreams[br]for their own future, as a young person, 0:28:12.832,0:28:16.449 but maybe conditions were not sufficient[br]for them to realize it. 0:28:17.395,0:28:19.365 Then they hope, they wish so much 0:28:19.840,0:28:26.071 that their children will be able [br]to realize their dreams, 0:28:27.242,0:28:31.308 but we may have our own dream[br]which may not be the same, 0:28:32.274,0:28:35.044 and although our parents [br]want the best for us, 0:28:36.400,0:28:40.568 actually, we suffer a little bit. 0:28:42.196,0:28:43.509 We suffer a little bit. 0:28:48.282,0:28:52.903 Here in Plum Village, Thay teaches us [br]that we as elders need to look deeply 0:28:53.063,0:28:58.240 to understand the aspirations and the joys[br]and the suffering of our younger siblings. 0:28:59.796,0:29:01.884 So we have to listen to them. 0:29:03.823,0:29:08.168 And sometimes I encourage [br]my younger sisters in the Dharma 0:29:08.941,0:29:13.102 to do things that I think will help them [br]to make progress on the Path. 0:29:14.791,0:29:16.445 And that can cause them suffering. 0:29:19.466,0:29:25.138 So as a practise as an elder, [br]I'm practising looking and listening 0:29:25.783,0:29:28.170 in order to understand [br]what their dreams are 0:29:29.262,0:29:33.154 and to see what would be [br]the next step on their path, 0:29:33.432,0:29:35.244 and how can I offer support. 0:29:46.463,0:29:51.902 So this is my practise [br]of making progress on the path, 0:29:51.902,0:29:54.472 is, to listen to my younger ones. 0:29:55.577,0:29:57.853 Here in Plum Village, [br]we celebrate Christmas, 0:29:58.676,0:30:03.563 and it's an opportunity to offer a gift[br]to one of our sisters 0:30:05.839,0:30:09.585 A few years ago I went shopping [br]with another sister 0:30:10.493,0:30:12.098 who had just arrived, 0:30:13.147,0:30:15.610 and then she looked [br]at what I put in the basket 0:30:16.545,0:30:18.869 and she said "Sister Dieu Nghiem, 0:30:18.880,0:30:21.796 that is not your taste at all, [br]why do you buy those things?" 0:30:22.723,0:30:25.410 and I said: "Because this is [br]what my sister likes." 0:30:29.194,0:30:30.419 And I realized, 0:30:32.266,0:30:37.889 maybe in the past I have offered things [br]to friends, to my siblings, that I like, 0:30:38.429,0:30:42.171 this would be a wonderful present,[br]because it's so beautiful, you know? 0:30:43.007,0:30:47.915 And I give it to them, [br]and now in hindsight, I think, hm.... 0:30:49.651,0:30:53.573 maybe that was a present that came [br]from a lot of love 0:30:54.353,0:30:56.484 and a little lack of understanding. 0:30:59.190,0:31:03.743 But I remember [br]they all accepted it very gracefully, 0:31:06.867,0:31:11.227 so, they may have realized [br]it was a good intention. 0:31:14.642,0:31:16.784 Maïtri is also friendship. 0:31:17.458,0:31:21.555 There's the word Mitra [br]that's connected to Maïtri, 0:31:22.076,0:31:23.971 and it means Spiritual Friend. 0:31:26.161,0:31:31.905 A friend is somebody, a heart friend,[br]somebody that understands us, 0:31:32.388,0:31:34.657 who understands our dreams [br]and our aspirations, 0:31:34.919,0:31:36.364 our joys and our sufferings, 0:31:37.307,0:31:39.065 with whom we can share from our heart 0:31:41.637,0:31:45.565 with whom we can share our joys [br]and also our suffering 0:31:47.477,0:31:51.016 and who will listen [br]without judging or reacting 0:31:51.979,0:31:53.720 and who will not give advice. 0:31:56.500,0:31:57.949 "You know what you should do" 0:32:03.675,0:32:07.105 But also, it's on the path in our life, 0:32:08.040,0:32:12.386 it's also that they can point out to us 0:32:15.393,0:32:17.032 something that we don't see. 0:32:18.482,0:32:22.212 and they can point that out to us [br]in a way that we can hear it. 0:32:23.715,0:32:29.172 So, to be a true friend,[br]to be a friend on the spiritual path, 0:32:32.291,0:32:36.408 it needs Deep Looking and Deep Listening,[br]and some understanding, 0:32:36.781,0:32:42.483 in order to point something out in a way [br]that it can be received. 0:32:45.184,0:32:47.485 I also noticed on my path, 0:32:48.512,0:32:53.183 I have given some input and... 0:32:56.271,0:32:58.812 it wasn't in a way it could be received. 0:32:59.413,0:33:01.621 although I gave it [br]with the best of intentions 0:33:03.224,0:33:08.397 so I'm becoming more and more mindful 0:33:09.255,0:33:13.291 of how I give some encouragements. 0:33:14.983,0:33:19.063 However well meant, it needs to be [br]in the right way at the right time 0:33:22.656,0:33:26.452 But we may have a spiritual friend [br]who we know very well. 0:33:28.078,0:33:29.578 She can say a little bit more, 0:33:29.968,0:33:32.819 because we have this friendship [br]that holds all this 0:33:33.812,0:33:37.962 and she can say, [br]like one of my sisters said, 0:33:38.035,0:33:42.307 "well, you could look at the habit energy. 0:33:43.400,0:33:47.196 One of your habit energies is, [br]sometimes you're quite impulsive. 0:33:48.690,0:33:50.535 You react spontaneously to something, 0:33:51.716,0:33:54.145 but it may not always be [br]the right thing to do. 0:33:55.721,0:33:58.003 And I said, "Thank you, [br]I will look into that." 0:33:59.273,0:34:01.319 I know it came from her care. 0:34:02.888,0:34:06.523 So, having a good friend with whom [br]we can share, so that we can grow. 0:34:09.172,0:34:12.464 Our heart can become larger,[br]we can embrace more, 0:34:13.600,0:34:15.452 we can find more happiness 0:34:16.760,0:34:18.343 for ourselves and for others 0:34:21.090,0:34:25.308 So, to give some feedback, 0:34:26.086,0:34:28.425 we have to be aware of 0:34:28.712,0:34:31.268 from where we are giving that feedback. 0:34:34.891,0:34:38.747 Sometimes someone in our community [br]may be passing through a difficult time, 0:34:39.771,0:34:43.062 therefore also cause some difficulties, [br]some suffering to others 0:34:46.408,0:34:53.373 and I'm becoming more and more aware[br]of what this touches in me. 0:34:54.542,0:34:56.967 Sometimes it touches a kind of annoyance, 0:34:57.780,0:35:01.190 you know, can she not take better care [br]of her suffering, 0:35:02.089,0:35:04.742 instead of causing others also to suffer? 0:35:06.757,0:35:12.358 And then, not so long ago, I thought,[br]wait a minute. 0:35:13.716,0:35:17.740 If I were suffering, and somebody wanted[br]to point something out to me, 0:35:18.382,0:35:20.865 how would I like to be approached? 0:35:23.984,0:35:26.271 Then I thought, with kindness. 0:35:27.694,0:35:28.658 With some love. 0:35:30.096,0:35:34.188 So I took some time to be with my sister, 0:35:35.316,0:35:37.511 to be able to touch her suffering. 0:35:38.919,0:35:40.179 What is her suffering? 0:35:40.564,0:35:43.392 The little I know about the roots, [br]can I just touch it? 0:35:45.735,0:35:47.520 and then I could interact with her, 0:35:47.980,0:35:50.689 and a big smile came up on her lips, 0:35:51.724,0:35:57.147 and I thought, yes, that was [br]because I came with love in my heart, 0:35:58.641,0:36:01.072 with compassion, and not with annoyance. 0:36:02.763,0:36:05.289 and I thought just kindness, 0:36:06.414,0:36:08.148 just plain kindness, 0:36:11.107,0:36:12.665 how much does it take, 0:36:13.066,0:36:17.664 and I asked myself, why does it take me [br]so long sometimes? 0:36:19.690,0:36:24.895 I realized, it takes long [br]because I'm not very kind to myself. 0:36:26.131,0:36:28.861 How can I be kind to others [br]if I'm not kind to myself? 0:36:29.324,0:36:31.143 Can I have a little bit more kindness 0:36:31.143,0:36:33.564 and a little bit more compassion [br]to watch myself? 0:36:38.184,0:36:43.047 So lately I've been practising to look [br]at myself with the eyes of compassion. 0:36:46.263,0:36:51.025 and to see, [br]why do I think the way I think, 0:36:52.168,0:36:54.599 why do I speak the way I speak? 0:36:55.345,0:36:57.753 Why do I act the way I act, 0:36:59.056,0:37:01.519 in my interactions with others. 0:37:03.469,0:37:05.211 What is happening for me? 0:37:10.073,0:37:14.309 And when I look and I see my shortcomings, 0:37:16.543,0:37:19.909 maybe a little impatience, 0:37:22.777,0:37:26.294 a lack of understanding of myself also, 0:37:28.606,0:37:31.787 I think, can I just accept myself as I am? 0:37:32.802,0:37:37.700 I am as I am, because of [br]many causes and conditions 0:37:41.714,0:37:44.672 All the seeds that were watered in me[br]during my lifetime, 0:37:45.886,0:37:49.422 that I have allowed to be watered [br]in me, during my lifetime, 0:37:50.983,0:37:53.926 maybe seeds I have inherited [br]from my ancestors 0:37:55.411,0:37:58.409 I want something to be solved quickly,[br]I'm very efficient. 0:37:59.451,0:38:03.059 but that's not always the best way [br]to approach an issue 0:38:06.762,0:38:08.340 Sometimes you need time. 0:38:09.609,0:38:11.272 One time I went to Thay and I said: 0:38:11.272,0:38:14.610 "Thay, I'd like to address this issue [br]with one of the sisters." 0:38:15.559,0:38:17.305 And Thay said: "Too soon. 0:38:18.526,0:38:20.396 Too soon, you have to wait." 0:38:21.477,0:38:24.665 Thay told me: "Sometimes Thay also [br]has to wait for six months." 0:38:25.988,0:38:30.000 and I thought, ok, let me walk [br]in the footsteps of my teacher, 0:38:30.592,0:38:31.947 and practise waiting. 0:38:32.460,0:38:34.148 Six months at least, 0:38:35.781,0:38:37.488 you'll see when the time is right. 0:38:37.666,0:38:40.195 I realized time needs to be right in me. 0:38:42.073,0:38:46.470 When I can approach with loving kindness[br]as a spiritual friend 0:38:47.340,0:38:51.029 when I can approach with compassion,[br]then the time may be right. 0:38:52.165,0:38:54.664 It's not only the time [br]for the other person, 0:38:55.324,0:38:57.151 but for me, I have to be ready. 0:38:59.986,0:39:01.313 So, to offer time. 0:39:04.779,0:39:08.390 The second aspect of True Love [br]is Karuna, compassion. 0:39:09.173,0:39:13.355 It means the intention and the capacity[br]to relieve the suffering. 0:39:14.709,0:39:16.573 First of all, our own suffering. 0:39:17.232,0:39:22.469 A lot of our suffering is caused by [br]wrong perceptions, as we already heard. 0:39:24.287,0:39:27.413 So it's always good to go [br]and check our perceptions 0:39:28.686,0:39:32.965 "the other day, you said this; [br]can you tell me why you said that?" 0:39:36.063,0:39:39.775 In the beginning I said,[br]"You said that!" 0:39:41.572,0:39:42.837 quite unkindly. 0:39:43.486,0:39:44.703 "Why did you say this?" 0:39:45.661,0:39:50.218 I realize it doesn't inspire [br]the other person to reply 0:39:52.004,0:39:55.125 because there is already [br]a criticism in there, 0:39:55.914,0:39:58.433 the tone of my voice, the words I use. 0:39:59.864,0:40:04.386 So, to ask, to check my perceptions, 0:40:04.848,0:40:09.876 I also need to come from a place [br]of really wanting to understand 0:40:10.700,0:40:14.725 and to give the other person[br]the benefit of the doubt. 0:40:18.712,0:40:22.876 I also am unskillful at times,[br]not necessarily on purpose, 0:40:25.593,0:40:29.519 and I also appreciate when somebody [br]gives me the benefit of the doubt. 0:40:33.319,0:40:36.900 So, trust the other person,[br]we'll then be able 0:40:38.297,0:40:42.700 to understand that sharing with us, 0:40:43.172,0:40:44.722 why we said something, 0:40:44.736,0:40:47.256 will help relieve the suffering in us. 0:40:56.102,0:41:00.374 Sometimes we find it difficult[br]to be with the suffering of someone else, 0:41:00.736,0:41:04.676 and we like it to go away, 0:41:06.497,0:41:10.584 because their suffering makes us suffer. 0:41:10.843,0:41:12.603 We suffer because they suffer. 0:41:13.594,0:41:16.701 We have the intention [br]to help relieve their suffering, 0:41:17.637,0:41:23.104 but actually, underneath, there's the wish[br]that if they don't suffer anymore, 0:41:23.775,0:41:24.993 then I feel better. 0:41:25.596,0:41:27.494 So we're doing it with a self-interest. 0:41:29.144,0:41:33.327 My experience is, when I do this,[br]it doesn't work. 0:41:34.644,0:41:35.742 It just doesn't work. 0:41:37.628,0:41:40.199 I think, when we suffer, [br]we're very sensitive 0:41:40.199,0:41:43.250 to with what kind of energy [br]someone approaches us. 0:41:44.559,0:41:46.013 If they want us not to suffer, 0:41:46.493,0:41:49.590 because our suffering [br]is causing them difficulties, 0:41:49.702,0:41:51.053 is causing them suffering, 0:41:51.682,0:41:55.416 so, "stop suffering please, [br]so I can be happy", 0:41:56.301,0:41:57.659 it doesn't work like that. 0:42:00.445,0:42:03.008 If we listen in order to help [br]relieve the suffering, 0:42:03.008,0:42:07.265 it's with the sole purpose [br]that we would like the other person 0:42:08.902,0:42:10.614 to be relieved of their suffering, 0:42:11.026,0:42:12.137 not because of us. 0:42:13.439,0:42:17.626 If we find it difficult to be [br]with their suffering, we have to look, 0:42:18.165,0:42:21.800 why is it difficult to be [br]with the suffering of the other? 0:42:22.863,0:42:23.814 to understand, 0:42:26.254,0:42:28.494 and to look after ourselves in a way 0:42:29.344,0:42:34.033 that we can take care of our suffering, 0:42:34.638,0:42:37.849 and then, maybe we're able [br]to be with their suffering. 0:42:41.173,0:42:44.371 At times, when we are [br]with somebody who suffers, 0:42:44.885,0:42:46.724 we just need to be with them. 0:42:47.196,0:42:49.285 Just sitting next to them, breathing, 0:42:50.113,0:42:52.219 not being overwhelmed by their suffering, 0:42:52.847,0:42:54.907 not being carried away by their suffering. 0:42:56.406,0:42:59.045 Maybe just an arm around their shoulders. 0:43:01.120,0:43:03.662 Just to know that we are there for them. 0:43:03.857,0:43:05.137 and that's all. 0:43:10.770,0:43:12.098 Many years ago, 0:43:17.537,0:43:21.541 I lived in a small center [br]with some other monastics, 0:43:22.897,0:43:28.859 and we had a neighbor, [br]and the wife was ill, she was dying. 0:43:29.744,0:43:32.422 Whenever he wanted to go shopping, 0:43:32.973,0:43:36.820 he came to our door to ask [br]one of us to be with his wife. 0:43:38.394,0:43:44.007 So we would sit at her side[br]and breathe, and just be there. 0:43:44.726,0:43:45.875 Maybe hold her hand. 0:43:47.167,0:43:48.706 Not really saying much. 0:43:53.014,0:43:54.796 One day, he came again,[br]and he said: 0:43:54.953,0:43:57.885 "Sorry, I always come to ask one of you, 0:43:58.275,0:44:04.579 because Lucie is so calm and peaceful[br]when one of you is there." 0:44:06.442,0:44:09.897 So I spoke to the other sister and said:[br]"What do you do?" 0:44:10.178,0:44:12.586 She said: "Nothing. I just sit there." 0:44:13.283,0:44:14.508 I said: "So do I." 0:44:14.658,0:44:17.534 And I asked her: "Are you afraid?"[br]and she said: "No." 0:44:18.261,0:44:19.724 I said: "Neither am I." 0:44:20.764,0:44:24.379 So we could be with her fear.[br]We could just be there. 0:44:25.635,0:44:27.040 We didn't need to say much. 0:44:28.436,0:44:32.274 And she was peaceful, and at ease. 0:44:35.873,0:44:37.828 So, we don't always need words. 0:44:39.375,0:44:43.958 Our true presence is already here,[br]and soothing. 0:44:46.170,0:44:48.729 Maybe we can enjoy a sound of the bell, 0:44:50.989,0:44:55.021 and bring our mind home to our body, 0:44:56.293,0:44:58.372 so we can make ourselves truly present 0:44:59.121,0:45:01.488 especially present for ourselves, 0:45:04.688,0:45:09.295 and maybe we don't need [br]to say anything to ourselves, 0:45:10.044,0:45:11.516 but just be there. 0:45:11.881,0:45:15.481 Be with whatever is present in us. 0:45:24.888,0:45:33.208 [gong] 0:46:03.674,0:46:05.092 Boddhisatva 0:46:06.665,0:46:09.760 As I was sitting here, I was saying,[br]"just be with the heat," 0:46:09.894,0:46:12.402 and then, "but look [br]at the people in front of me, 0:46:12.412,0:46:14.213 it's much hotter there." 0:46:14.562,0:46:17.956 You're surrounded by 37°, many 0:46:18.242,0:46:19.543 and I have a fan. 0:46:37.642,0:46:40.681 One time, one of my sisters[br]came to share her suffering with me, 0:46:41.061,0:46:42.334 and I jumped into action, 0:46:43.251,0:46:45.850 I came up with a number of solutions. 0:46:46.644,0:46:50.924 She said: "But Sœur Dieu,[br]I just want you to listen to me." 0:46:51.934,0:46:53.547 I thought: "Oh yes, of course." 0:46:54.797,0:46:58.868 That's all. [br]That's more precious than anything else, 0:46:59.429,0:47:02.507 my solutions are my solutions, not hers. 0:47:04.968,0:47:06.902 So, let's imagine, 0:47:08.896,0:47:13.058 that we're faced [br]with a difficult situation. 0:47:18.374,0:47:20.533 How would we like to be approached? 0:47:21.800,0:47:27.180 What kind of action or non-action [br]would help us to embrace our suffering? 0:47:29.065,0:47:31.966 It could be a bigger or smaller suffering. 0:47:32.999,0:47:36.014 Maybe it's something [br]that you can offer yourself. 0:47:36.988,0:47:40.329 So, maybe we'll just close our eyes[br]and have another sound of the bell, 0:47:40.329,0:47:41.819 and let's just go to ourselves, 0:47:43.715,0:47:48.761 how would I like to be approached? 0:48:09.589,0:48:14.821 [gong] 0:48:52.009,0:48:56.350 As I said before, what came up for me[br]this time again, is the question, 0:48:56.350,0:48:58.150 do I understand you enough? 0:48:58.899,0:49:00.801 Do I understand myself enough? 0:49:04.959,0:49:06.570 What can I offer myself? 0:49:08.375,0:49:13.177 The third aspect of True Love is Muditha,[br]it means joy. 0:49:14.297,0:49:16.275 Muditha, it means joy. 0:49:26.491,0:49:28.849 Joy and happiness, born from letting go. 0:49:32.550,0:49:35.345 Many small things can bring joy. 0:49:37.323,0:49:39.421 Coming back to the present moment, 0:49:39.497,0:49:41.857 we can nourish our joy [br]with the beauty around us, 0:49:42.330,0:49:45.835 we can nourish our joy with the presence[br]of our loved ones around us. 0:49:50.684,0:49:53.865 We feel the gratitude and the joy[br]of their presence in our lives. 0:49:57.345,0:50:03.257 And the joy that is an immeasurable mind, 0:50:03.947,0:50:07.532 is the joy that is filled [br]with peace and contentment. 0:50:08.051,0:50:10.225 So it's not the joy that has excitement 0:50:10.806,0:50:13.423 it is this peace and contentment. 0:50:15.945,0:50:18.834 And we feel this joy for ourselves[br]and for others. 0:50:22.236,0:50:23.592 It's also the joy, 0:50:31.868,0:50:33.691 when someone we love is happy, 0:50:34.106,0:50:36.798 when someone we love [br]maybe went through a difficult time 0:50:37.375,0:50:38.568 and then is happy. 0:50:38.953,0:50:40.249 We feel this joy for them. 0:50:41.031,0:50:42.290 "I'm so happy for you." 0:50:43.479,0:50:44.715 That kind of joy. 0:50:46.201,0:50:50.686 We rejoice in the well-being of others,[br]that kind of joy. 0:50:51.603,0:50:55.357 In our daily life we'll see [br]there are more opportunities than we think 0:50:57.485,0:51:01.061 to have joy and to rejoice [br]in the happiness of others. 0:51:13.234,0:51:18.917 The last aspect of True Love is Upeksha. 0:51:19.629,0:51:21.031 Upeksha. 0:51:25.140,0:51:26.782 It means inclusiveness. 0:51:30.188,0:51:34.610 It means "we love everyone equally." 0:51:41.117,0:51:46.141 The ones we find easy to love and [br]the ones we find more difficult to love. 0:51:50.078,0:51:54.397 As I said, we have the potential[br]to do this already, right? 0:51:55.005,0:51:57.156 It needs to be watered, 0:51:57.363,0:52:01.391 that seed needs to be watered[br]in order to manifest as a state of mind. 0:52:02.278,0:52:03.820 If, at the moment, we say: 0:52:03.996,0:52:08.154 "To love everybody, to be inclusive,[br]I'm not there yet", 0:52:08.905,0:52:12.769 That's alright, [br]because we're still practising, 0:52:13.578,0:52:15.158 we're going in the direction. 0:52:18.095,0:52:24.889 To love everyone equally[br]also stems from compassion. 0:52:28.523,0:52:30.143 How can we be compassionate 0:52:30.143,0:52:36.953 to somebody who behaves in a way[br]that causes suffering to other people? 0:52:44.365,0:52:48.607 If we try to put ourselves [br]in the skin of that person, 0:52:50.431,0:52:52.157 and try to imagine, 0:52:56.232,0:53:01.185 what was the kind of family [br]this person may have been born into? 0:53:02.481,0:53:04.273 What was the childhood like? 0:53:04.273,0:53:06.460 What was their environment[br]when they grew up? 0:53:07.639,0:53:10.301 What were the people they interacted with? 0:53:12.751,0:53:15.026 What kind of education did he have? 0:53:17.189,0:53:19.198 The environment forms us, 0:53:19.573,0:53:21.760 so what is the environment [br]they grew up with? 0:53:22.425,0:53:25.839 Was it an environment that was[br]full of understanding and love, 0:53:26.080,0:53:29.091 or was it an environment where [br]there was hatred and violence? 0:53:29.664,0:53:31.329 If there was hatred and violence, 0:53:31.801,0:53:35.935 the seed of hatred and violence [br]was watered in them 0:53:39.656,0:53:42.479 The seeds of discrimination [br]was watered in them. 0:53:44.375,0:53:47.323 So, no wonder they are the way they are. 0:53:49.510,0:53:52.498 If we can really put ourselves [br]in the skin of the other, 0:53:54.195,0:53:57.222 understand how they came [br]to be as they are, 0:53:58.087,0:54:02.903 then we can include them in our love. 0:54:06.395,0:54:08.425 Because we have compassion. 0:54:09.791,0:54:13.937 Compassion does not mean [br]that we condone the act, 0:54:14.983,0:54:17.453 what they did is not right, 0:54:19.016,0:54:22.037 but we can understand [br]what brought them to that point 0:54:23.983,0:54:30.751 what kind of mental food did they get, 0:54:32.140,0:54:33.910 to what were they exposed? 0:54:35.571,0:54:39.854 Thay says: "If we were born[br]where they were born, 0:54:40.513,0:54:42.432 in the family, in their environment, 0:54:45.446,0:54:47.428 we would do exactly the same." 0:54:48.479,0:54:49.870 [alarm clock sounds] 0:54:50.803,0:54:52.007 This is my alarm. 0:54:54.813,0:54:57.211 We would do exactly the same. 0:54:57.837,0:54:59.731 In the beginning I thought,[br]no, I won't. 0:55:02.074,0:55:03.826 And then I thought, ah! 0:55:07.851,0:55:12.399 But that means, I'm not putting myself[br]in the skin of the other person. 0:55:16.980,0:55:19.221 I haven't looked deeply enough. 0:55:21.087,0:55:25.095 And, there is compassion and there is pity 0:55:25.921,0:55:28.874 Pity doesn't go anywhere, 0:55:29.804,0:55:35.867 but compassion motivates us [br]to do something, to act. 0:55:39.219,0:55:43.711 Maybe that person who does something [br]to cause suffering to others 0:55:43.842,0:55:46.563 needs our help, [br]because there's a lack of understanding. 0:55:46.689,0:55:49.584 You do suffering to the others,[br]you're doing it to yourself. 0:55:52.176,0:55:55.856 If you think, causing suffering to [br]somebody else is bringing you happiness, 0:55:56.051,0:55:56.962 it's not. 0:55:59.012,0:56:01.579 Maybe they don't know,[br]and we need to help them. 0:56:02.391,0:56:05.495 And that's our engagement,[br]and Thay is very engaged. 0:56:06.532,0:56:09.513 Thay has spoken to politicians,[br]to business people. 0:56:13.221,0:56:15.770 In many countries Thay has adressed issues 0:56:16.916,0:56:19.984 that were happening in the country, 0:56:20.922,0:56:26.881 in order to help the politicians [br]understand, and the people to understand 0:56:29.337,0:56:30.487 what we can do, 0:56:31.740,0:56:37.350 and also what maybe [br]would be better not to do. 0:56:44.416,0:56:53.330 So, with compassion and understanding[br]how things come to be, 0:56:54.029,0:56:56.638 our love can become inclusive. 0:56:58.422,0:57:00.654 Of course, as I said before, 0:57:02.854,0:57:09.201 the foundation for that is, [br]can we include ourselves in this love? 0:57:12.366,0:57:18.079 With all our strengths and weaknesses,[br]can we do that? 0:57:22.443,0:57:25.561 So, practising and developing[br]these four immeasurable minds 0:57:26.264,0:57:29.435 is the best way to take care of ourselves[br]our loved ones, 0:57:29.918,0:57:31.397 and all other beings. 0:57:31.679,0:57:34.075 So they're not a kind of tools [br]that we have, like, 0:57:34.075,0:57:36.095 "oh I think we need loving kindness here," 0:57:36.119,0:57:37.879 "oh, I think I need compassion," 0:57:37.901,0:57:40.316 "oh, I think I need joy,[br]or inclusiveness." 0:57:40.969,0:57:41.700 No. 0:57:43.424,0:57:50.068 It is, developing these aspects of love [br]in ourselves 0:57:50.834,0:57:58.119 so that we can respond to life [br]from these aspects. 0:58:03.853,0:58:08.357 To bring these four aspects [br]of love to mind, every day, 0:58:10.588,0:58:13.352 to water the seeds, to remember 0:58:16.137,0:58:19.307 that we can respond with loving kindness 0:58:20.981,0:58:24.981 we can respond with joy [br]to the joy of others 0:58:26.059,0:58:28.949 we can respond with compassion [br]to the suffering, 0:58:30.335,0:58:37.055 we can respond with inclusiveness [br]to all beings, including Mother Earth. 0:58:47.634,0:58:49.813 They become a state of mind. 0:58:50.064,0:58:53.414 And when we bring them to mind often,[br]the Buddha said: 0:58:53.414,0:59:00.144 "Whatever we think about, or ponder upon, [br]becomes the inclination of our mind. 0:59:00.836,0:59:04.116 Becomes the way we respond to life." 0:59:05.017,0:59:08.247 So we may like to look, how do we [br]respond to life right now? 0:59:08.669,0:59:14.399 Is it with fear? Is it with worries? 0:59:15.006,0:59:20.086 Is it with anger?[br]Is it with love? 0:59:20.410,0:59:21.940 How do we respond to life? 0:59:23.514,0:59:27.994 Just to know and say: [br]"Ok, this is where I stand now. 0:59:28.999,0:59:31.579 Practising the Four Immeasurable Minds, 0:59:32.132,0:59:36.592 I go in the direction of responding [br]to life with True Love. 0:59:38.789,0:59:45.149 It's not only to life, [br]but also to individuals, 0:59:45.761,0:59:48.221 the person who's right next to me, [br]next to us, 0:59:48.744,0:59:51.614 the person we hope [br]to spend our whole life with, 0:59:52.432,0:59:55.192 can we have this mind of love [br]towards them? 0:59:56.035,1:00:06.495 This True Love, that is not centered [br]on just ourselves. 1:00:11.379,1:00:18.099 Instead of our love being like a cage,[br]robbing our loved one of their freedom, 1:00:18.545,1:00:23.285 our love is wide [br]and embraces all aspects of them. 1:00:27.418,1:00:30.898 Maybe we can think of our loved one as... 1:00:31.397,1:00:34.297 a nice breeze that you hopefully [br]will experience soon 1:00:37.421,1:00:43.381 If we want to catch the breeze [br]and consider it our own, 1:00:43.958,1:00:46.486 it's like putting the little breeze [br]in a little cage, 1:00:46.486,1:00:48.978 and what happens [br]when you put it in a little cage... 1:00:50.579,1:00:51.437 it dies. 1:00:52.344,1:00:56.176 In fact, I reflected on this, [br]if we love like that, 1:00:57.205,1:01:02.096 then the things we love in the other [br]person, will no longer be there. 1:01:05.177,1:01:07.376 as you will stop loving her [br]very, very soon. 1:01:07.732,1:01:10.200 We will stop loving them very, very soon. 1:01:12.212,1:01:17.323 So, let's infuse our minds [br]with these four aspects of love, 1:01:18.081,1:01:21.687 so that we can love, and be loved 1:01:22.378,1:01:24.979 and offer True Love [br]to ourselves and others. 1:01:25.905,1:01:27.393 And now I'm going to offer you 1:01:30.232,1:01:31.718 a nice breeze outside. 1:01:31.961,1:01:35.961 Thank you for being there,[br]free as the breeze. 1:01:38.055,1:01:40.235 Happy continuation on your path, 1:01:41.714,1:01:44.774 may every step bring you [br]peace and happiness, 1:01:46.726,1:01:50.726 and remember, smile, [br]breathe when you look deeply, 1:01:51.561,1:01:53.411 and enjoy every step you take. 1:01:54.289,1:01:55.589 Thank you very much. 1:02:06.609,1:02:15.229 [gong] 1:02:36.960,1:02:46.972 [gong] 1:03:05.208,1:03:16.088 [gong]