1
00:00:05,874 --> 00:00:10,980
Susan Rothenberg: Emotions

2
00:00:13,846 --> 00:00:20,061
I think I care about beauty, but I don't go for it.

3
00:00:20,627 --> 00:00:24,093
I hope it sometimes might be in there.

4
00:00:24,093 --> 00:00:31,561
I think maybe more in terms of a beautiful moment than trying to figure out what beauty is.

5
00:00:34,294 --> 00:00:39,095
I hope that my paintings can be emotional moments for people.

6
00:00:43,294 --> 00:00:49,727
I just know that it takes a certain emotional lock in for me to commit to a painting.

7
00:00:50,142 --> 00:00:56,200
And a certain timidity at first, and then the second painting, and then I might go back to the first painting,

8
00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:58,317
And then force some more bravery on it,

9
00:00:58,317 --> 00:01:01,851
And say, "Oh, this is okay. You can handle this."

10
00:01:06,016 --> 00:01:10,100
I have given myself full range of the painting.

11
00:01:11,784 --> 00:01:19,092
I don't limit myself in anyway. I know I'm not a landscape painter. I know that. I know that's sombody else's job.

12
00:01:19,092 --> 00:01:21,808
And I don't think I'm a still life painter.

13
00:01:21,808 --> 00:01:28,283
But I would like to think that I can paint portraits, which I have not successfully done.

14
00:01:28,784 --> 00:01:34,151
I'd like to think that the whole thing is wide open and that I don't have to abide by any rules, anymore.

15
00:01:34,151 --> 00:01:41,083
But I was happy to when I was young, because it looked like a very radical world.

16
00:01:41,083 --> 00:01:44,555
And I really wanted to be part of it.

17
00:01:47,211 --> 00:01:53,022
We had to put that dog down, because she was in kidney failure.

18
00:01:53,472 --> 00:02:01,506
And I was holding her before the doctor did that, and I wanted to make a painting about it.

19
00:02:01,557 --> 00:02:04,295
How it felt, to remember her by.

20
00:02:04,295 --> 00:02:12,599
And I've had the arm... Everywhere you see this darker tone, I've had the arm there. [chuckles]

21
00:02:12,599 --> 00:02:16,882
I had it like this, like this, then I could not figure out where the feet should be,

22
00:02:16,882 --> 00:02:21,766
Then, I couldn't figure out where the arm might be coming of the body.

23
00:02:21,766 --> 00:02:25,966
And finally, I decided to stop worrying about it. All I wanted was that dog held there,

24
00:02:25,966 --> 00:02:30,299
And my sneakers grounding the bottom of the painting.

25
00:02:30,947 --> 00:02:42,150
I just felt so sad, and so... I felt the loss of this dog quite a lot. So I just try to recover her for a moment in the painting.

26
00:02:42,150 --> 00:02:44,800
It's completely personal.

27
00:02:48,152 --> 00:02:53,033
And I could see that the hand's not painted well enough... That one is, that one isn't.

28
00:02:53,033 --> 00:02:54,782
[WOMAN, OFF SCREEN] Which one?

29
00:02:54,782 --> 00:02:57,970
[ROTHENBERG] The left hand is just fine. It's doing what it needs to do.

30
00:02:57,970 --> 00:03:00,021
This one is blobby. [laughs]

31
00:03:00,021 --> 00:03:06,887
It needs some wristbones, and some fingernails, and some definition.

32
00:03:08,801 --> 00:03:13,368
In the paintings where it's there--the tenderness--I work for it.

33
00:03:13,368 --> 00:03:19,800
I'm not afraid of it. If I could put my bleeding fucking heart in there, I would. [chuckles]

34
00:03:19,984 --> 00:03:25,091
But as it is, it's her and my arms and my shoes.

35
00:03:25,125 --> 00:03:30,091
You know, in the most all-embracing kind of send off that I could give her.