WEBVTT 00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:06.000 This is the story about a world of adventure, 00:00:06.000 --> 00:00:09.000 a sea full of excitement 00:00:09.000 --> 00:00:11.000 and a man full of dreams 00:00:11.000 --> 00:00:15.000 and a passion that seeks to drive him to the top. 00:00:15.000 --> 00:00:18.000 My name is Monkey D. Luffy and I'm gonna be king of the 00:00:18.000 --> 00:00:20.000 [static] 00:00:22.000 --> 00:00:25.000 Oh, uh, oh yes! 00:00:26.000 --> 00:00:27.000 I love you, Edward! 00:00:27.000 --> 00:00:30.000 And I... love you... 00:00:30.000 --> 00:00:32.000 Bella. 00:00:33.000 --> 00:00:34.000 Hold on. 00:00:35.000 --> 00:00:36.000 Who is it? 00:00:36.000 --> 00:00:38.000 Oh, you know... 00:00:47.000 --> 00:00:49.000 a real fuckin' vampire! 00:00:50.000 --> 00:00:51.000 Well, party party party 00:00:51.000 --> 00:00:53.000 I wanna have a party 00:00:53.000 --> 00:00:54.000 I need to have a party 00:00:54.000 --> 00:00:55.000 You better have a party 00:00:55.000 --> 00:00:56.000 Come on, party party party 00:00:56.000 --> 00:00:58.000 Ya gotta party hardy 00:00:58.000 --> 00:00:59.000 I'm gonna have a party 00:00:59.000 --> 00:01:01.000 Or else you will be sorry 00:01:05.000 --> 00:01:07.000 Hey, Police Girl, do you have the target? 00:01:07.000 --> 00:01:09.000 OK, master, 00:01:09.000 --> 00:01:11.000 my name is Seras. 00:01:11.000 --> 00:01:12.000 And yes, I have the target in sight. 00:01:12.000 --> 00:01:15.000 Well, better take the shot, you're letting her get away. 00:01:15.000 --> 00:01:18.000 If you just give me a second to concentrate I could-- 00:01:18.000 --> 00:01:19.000 She's getting away, she's running! 00:01:19.000 --> 00:01:21.000 I get it I'm lining up the-- 00:01:21.000 --> 00:01:23.000 Going to miss it! Going to miss it! 00:01:23.000 --> 00:01:24.000 Just be quiet and let me-- 00:01:24.000 --> 00:01:27.000 Hey, Police Girl! Hey! Hey, Police Girl! 00:01:29.000 --> 00:01:32.000 There! I took the fucking shot! 00:01:32.000 --> 00:01:34.000 She's dead, there's blood everywhere! 00:01:35.000 --> 00:01:36.000 Oh, you're just a treat. 00:01:38.000 --> 00:01:40.000 Now, I know what you're thinking: 00:01:40.000 --> 00:01:41.000 "How did all this come about?" 00:01:42.000 --> 00:01:46.000 Well, it all started on a midnight stroll through the woods. 00:01:46.000 --> 00:01:49.000 The air was clear, the moon was full. 00:01:49.000 --> 00:01:53.000 I was dying to sink my teeth into something. 00:01:53.000 --> 00:01:54.000 Get it? 00:01:54.000 --> 00:01:55.000 Because I'm a vampire. 00:01:55.000 --> 00:01:58.000 [laughing] 00:01:58.000 --> 00:01:59.000 It's funny. 00:01:59.000 --> 00:02:01.000 So, you came. 00:02:01.000 --> 00:02:04.000 Too bad you're far too late. 00:02:04.000 --> 00:02:04.000 What? 00:02:04.000 --> 00:02:07.000 Everyone else is already dead. 00:02:07.000 --> 00:02:10.000 Except this little tart. 00:02:10.000 --> 00:02:13.000 But trust me, I still plan to kill her. 00:02:13.000 --> 00:02:14.000 Mm-hmm. 00:02:14.000 --> 00:02:15.000 But first, 00:02:15.000 --> 00:02:18.000 I'm going to rape her! 00:02:18.000 --> 00:02:19.000 Nnneat. 00:02:19.000 --> 00:02:21.000 But before I can do any of that, 00:02:22.000 --> 00:02:24.000 I'm going to kill you! 00:02:24.000 --> 00:02:25.000 Oh? 00:02:25.000 --> 00:02:28.000 See, that would be intimidating, if you were... 00:02:28.000 --> 00:02:30.000 well, intimidating. 00:02:30.000 --> 00:02:32.000 Grr, are you mocking me?! 00:02:32.000 --> 00:02:35.000 Oh, no, no, no, no, no 00:02:35.000 --> 00:02:36.000 Pfft, yeah! 00:02:36.000 --> 00:02:37.000 (Shot through the heart!) 00:02:39.000 --> 00:02:42.000 Well, that should about wrap things up here. 00:02:42.000 --> 00:02:44.000 Oh, yeah. Forgot about you. 00:02:44.000 --> 00:02:46.000 Sorry about that whole shooting-you thing, 00:02:46.000 --> 00:02:48.000 but I know if you look deep into your heart 00:02:48.000 --> 00:02:51.000 - which is currently all over that tree - 00:02:51.000 --> 00:02:52.000 you'll find a way to forgive me. 00:02:54.000 --> 00:02:56.000 Awww, geez, you look like a puppy. 00:02:56.000 --> 00:02:57.000 A blonde, eviscerated puppy. 00:02:59.000 --> 00:03:01.000 Christ! Fine! I'll help you! 00:03:01.000 --> 00:03:03.000 But only because you got nice tits. 00:03:04.000 --> 00:03:06.000 So, that's your field report? 00:03:06.000 --> 00:03:07.000 Yup. 00:03:07.000 --> 00:03:10.000 You went on a walk through the forest at midnight. 00:03:10.000 --> 00:03:10.000 Yup. 00:03:10.000 --> 00:03:13.000 You killed a homicidal vampire priest. 00:03:13.000 --> 00:03:14.000 Dead. 00:03:14.000 --> 00:03:17.000 And then you turned someone into a vampire, 00:03:17.000 --> 00:03:18.000 who happened to be a- 00:03:18.000 --> 00:03:20.000 Big tittied police girl. Yes! 00:03:20.000 --> 00:03:23.000 It's like I didnt just get through explaining this. 00:03:23.000 --> 00:03:26.000 Now, if you don't mind, I've got things to do. 00:03:26.000 --> 00:03:29.000 What things? You don't do things. 00:03:29.000 --> 00:03:30.000 Yes, I do. 00:03:30.000 --> 00:03:33.000 I take enthusiastic walks through the woods. 00:03:33.000 --> 00:03:36.000 And kill homicidal vampire priests? 00:03:36.000 --> 00:03:38.000 Very enthusiastic walks. 00:03:40.000 --> 00:03:42.000 So, that's your field report? 00:03:42.000 --> 00:03:42.000 Yup. 00:03:42.000 --> 00:03:44.000 So you broke into the house 00:03:44.000 --> 00:03:45.000 Yup. 00:03:45.000 --> 00:03:47.000 and you shot him thirty-six times. 00:03:47.000 --> 00:03:49.000 Thirty-seven. 00:03:49.000 --> 00:03:50.000 And took out his partner. 00:03:50.000 --> 00:03:53.000 To be fair, that was the police girl 00:03:53.000 --> 00:03:54.000 with the big titties. 00:03:55.000 --> 00:03:57.000 You need to stop going on walks. 00:03:57.000 --> 00:04:00.000 And you need to hurry up and hook up some god-damned DSL in here! 00:04:00.000 --> 00:04:01.000 Ugh! Listen, 00:04:01.000 --> 00:04:03.000 you have an assignment in Ireland. 00:04:03.000 --> 00:04:04.000 Ooooh! 00:04:04.000 --> 00:04:06.000 I've never hunted down a leprechaun before. 00:04:06.000 --> 00:04:08.000 Do you think if I shoot them with my gun 00:04:08.000 --> 00:04:10.000 Lucky Charms will explode everywhere? 00:04:10.000 --> 00:04:12.000 Sweet Christ! 00:04:12.000 --> 00:04:16.000 Just get to Ireland, kill the vampire who's taken over the hospital 00:04:16.000 --> 00:04:17.000 and bring the police girl with you. 00:04:17.000 --> 00:04:20.000 Awww, come on! I have to bring her everywhere! 00:04:20.000 --> 00:04:21.000 Ah-ah-ah! 00:04:21.000 --> 00:04:22.000 None of the sass! 00:04:22.000 --> 00:04:24.000 Yes, MOM. 00:04:30.000 --> 00:04:30.000 So what can I do for you, 00:04:30.000 --> 00:04:34.000 Father O'Malley'O'Connell'O'Carroll'O'Reilly'O'Brian'O'Sullivan 00:04:34.000 --> 00:04:35.000 oh, who is also Italian? 00:04:35.000 --> 00:04:40.000 Tell-a me, Anderson, what is your favorite thing to do? 00:04:40.000 --> 00:04:43.000 Spreading the word and love of Jesus Christ to the many people of the world, 00:04:43.000 --> 00:04:45.000 teaching peace and love for all! 00:04:45.000 --> 00:04:48.000 And-a killing-a vampires? 00:04:48.000 --> 00:04:50.000 Oh, just try to fucking stop me! 00:04:50.000 --> 00:04:51.000 And what about... 00:04:51.000 --> 00:04:53.000 Protestants? 00:04:53.000 --> 00:04:54.000 Second verse same as the first. 00:04:54.000 --> 00:04:57.000 Now put me on a plane, so I can put them in a hearse! 00:05:02.000 --> 00:05:04.000 Hey, Police Girl! Police Girl! 00:05:04.000 --> 00:05:06.000 This is awesome! 00:05:06.000 --> 00:05:07.000 You should totally join in! 00:05:07.000 --> 00:05:10.000 Seriously, there's like forty zombies in here! 00:05:10.000 --> 00:05:12.000 Just one shot to the head and they explode! 00:05:13.000 --> 00:05:15.000 It's like House of the Dead, only like... 00:05:15.000 --> 00:05:17.000 a hundred times more awesome! 00:05:18.000 --> 00:05:19.000 Ugh, fine! 00:05:19.000 --> 00:05:22.000 I'll shoot some of the rotten bastards! 00:05:22.000 --> 00:05:23.000 Can't be that much fun... 00:05:25.000 --> 00:05:27.000 Oh, fuck the hell, yes! 00:05:36.000 --> 00:05:38.000 Sweet Black fucking Sabbath! 00:05:38.000 --> 00:05:41.000 If I wasn't holding out for that beast of a woman Integra, 00:05:41.000 --> 00:05:43.000 I'd fuck the red right out of those eyes. 00:05:45.000 --> 00:05:47.000 Well, kinda like that, 00:05:47.000 --> 00:05:48.000 only with less symbolism and more 00:05:48.000 --> 00:05:50.000 my penis in your vagina. 00:05:50.000 --> 00:05:51.000 [Sniffs] 00:05:51.000 --> 00:05:55.000 Huh?! Suddenly it reeks of hypocrisy in here. 00:05:55.000 --> 00:05:57.000 Oh, if it isn't the Catholic Church! 00:05:57.000 --> 00:05:58.000 And what's this?! 00:05:58.000 --> 00:06:01.000 No little Timmy glued to your crotch? 00:06:01.000 --> 00:06:02.000 Progress! 00:06:02.000 --> 00:06:05.000 Ah, and look at what we have here? 00:06:05.000 --> 00:06:06.000 A bloody heathen! 00:06:06.000 --> 00:06:08.000 Excuse me, 00:06:08.000 --> 00:06:11.000 but I'm a fuck-mothering vampire! 00:06:11.000 --> 00:06:13.000 Ive killed a LOT of people to get this title, 00:06:13.000 --> 00:06:15.000 I deserve to be called such! 00:06:15.000 --> 00:06:18.000 Well then, mind if I ask you your name? 00:06:18.000 --> 00:06:20.000 Only if you give yours first, papist. 00:06:20.000 --> 00:06:22.000 Fine, I'll give you the courtesy. 00:06:22.000 --> 00:06:23.000 The name's 00:06:23.000 --> 00:06:25.000 Alexander Anderson. 00:06:27.000 --> 00:06:30.000 Aw, fuck all kinds of duck! 00:06:30.000 --> 00:06:35.000 You have been chosen to reveal my existence to the world, 00:06:35.000 --> 00:06:39.000 you will witness what happens here today and you will tell of it later 00:06:40.000 --> 00:06:42.000 except you won't 00:06:42.000 --> 00:06:43.000 'cause I'll kill ya! 00:06:43.000 --> 00:06:46.000 [laughing] 00:06:47.000 --> 00:06:49.000 Oh, my, brilliant speech... 00:06:49.000 --> 00:06:53.000 and unoriginal, that's totally from Boondock Saints. 00:06:53.000 --> 00:06:54.000 What?! No, it isnt! 00:06:54.000 --> 00:06:56.000 I came up with it a week ago. 00:06:56.000 --> 00:06:58.000 Whatever. We're here for the vampire. 00:06:58.000 --> 00:07:01.000 The only one left here is your sorry pale ass. 00:07:02.000 --> 00:07:03.000 Yeah, yeah, give me a minute. 00:07:03.000 --> 00:07:05.000 So, what do you want, anyways? 00:07:05.000 --> 00:07:09.000 The nearest elementary school is at least ten kilometers away. 00:07:09.000 --> 00:07:11.000 It is your corrupt I claim. 00:07:11.000 --> 00:07:14.000 It is your evil that will be sought by me with every breath- 00:07:14.000 --> 00:07:17.000 Boondock - Saints. 00:07:17.000 --> 00:07:20.000 Seriously, you must watch that movie religiously. 00:07:20.000 --> 00:07:21.000 Huh-huh get it? 00:07:21.000 --> 00:07:22.000 OK, you know what? Fuck it - 00:07:22.000 --> 00:07:23.000 knife. 00:07:23.000 --> 00:07:24.000 Knife? 00:07:25.000 --> 00:07:26.000 Master! 00:07:27.000 --> 00:07:27.000 Boom! 00:07:29.000 --> 00:07:30.000 Headshot. 00:07:31.000 --> 00:07:32.000 Well, now that that's over, 00:07:32.000 --> 00:07:35.000 how about we go back to my place for a bowl of my favourite cereal 00:07:35.000 --> 00:07:36.000 Count Cho- 00:07:36.000 --> 00:07:38.000 (Decapitation!) 00:07:38.000 --> 00:07:39.000 Master! 00:07:39.000 --> 00:07:41.000 Well, now that that's over, 00:07:41.000 --> 00:07:44.000 how about we go back to my place for a bowl of my favourite cereal 00:07:44.000 --> 00:07:45.000 Frankenbe- 00:07:45.000 --> 00:07:48.000 Son of a protestant whore! 00:07:48.000 --> 00:07:49.000 Well, you know what time it is! 00:07:51.000 --> 00:07:52.000 See, 00:07:52.000 --> 00:07:55.000 this kind of shit is why I stopped going to church. 00:07:55.000 --> 00:07:58.000 Police girl, 00:07:58.000 --> 00:08:00.000 Poli-i-i-ice Girl, 00:08:00.000 --> 00:08:04.000 you are reading your master's mind! 00:08:04.000 --> 00:08:08.000 Put my head between your boobs! 00:08:08.000 --> 00:08:09.000 Now I'm alone 00:08:09.000 --> 00:08:11.000 The only one I had left was you. 00:08:11.000 --> 00:08:12.000 Very good! 00:08:12.000 --> 00:08:15.000 Now the next thing I want you to do is - 00:08:15.000 --> 00:08:17.000 put me between your legs! 00:08:18.000 --> 00:08:19.000 God damn it! 00:08:19.000 --> 00:08:22.000 It's a shame for you lost your head. 00:08:22.000 --> 00:08:25.000 A careless vampire, who wound up dead. 00:08:25.000 --> 00:08:29.000 You wore your sin like it was some kind of prize. 00:08:29.000 --> 00:08:33.000 Too many lies, too many lies. 00:08:33.000 --> 00:08:34.000 What do I do?! 00:08:34.000 --> 00:08:35.000 WHAT DO I DO?! 00:08:35.000 --> 00:08:36.000 I... 00:08:36.000 --> 00:08:38.000 I could try seducing him 00:08:38.000 --> 00:08:39.000 Wait, no! 00:08:39.000 --> 00:08:41.000 I'm not an eight-year old boy! Shit! 00:08:41.000 --> 00:08:43.000 Say your prayers, wee lass! 00:08:47.000 --> 00:08:49.000 That girl belongs to me! 00:08:49.000 --> 00:08:51.000 Well, aren't you the naughty one? 00:08:51.000 --> 00:08:54.000 Don't make me shoot you in the fucking head! 00:08:54.000 --> 00:08:57.000 What the hell do you want, you crazy protestant bastard? 00:08:57.000 --> 00:08:58.000 I'm a woman. 00:08:58.000 --> 00:09:01.000 Call yourself whatever you want, you crazy protestant bastard. 00:09:01.000 --> 00:09:04.000 You do know this is a grave violation of our agreement. 00:09:04.000 --> 00:09:06.000 And what part would that be? 00:09:06.000 --> 00:09:07.000 The part where you're here 00:09:07.000 --> 00:09:09.000 killing my men! 00:09:09.000 --> 00:09:10.000 Hua! Walgh! 00:09:10.000 --> 00:09:12.000 I have no idea what chou're on about. 00:09:12.000 --> 00:09:14.000 I'm just here doin' my job! 00:09:14.000 --> 00:09:17.000 Killin' vampires 'n' werewolves an' leprechauns. 00:09:17.000 --> 00:09:20.000 I never actually found one but do you think if I cut one open with my knife 00:09:20.000 --> 00:09:22.000 it would spill out Lucky Charms? 00:09:22.000 --> 00:09:23.000 Just shut up! 00:09:23.000 --> 00:09:25.000 Where the hell is Alucard? 00:09:25.000 --> 00:09:26.000 Oh, him? 00:09:26.000 --> 00:09:27.000 I killed him! 00:09:27.000 --> 00:09:28.000 Killed him? 00:09:28.000 --> 00:09:29.000 Cut off his bloody head! 00:09:29.000 --> 00:09:30.000 Oh! 00:09:30.000 --> 00:09:32.000 Well, that's step one 00:09:32.000 --> 00:09:34.000 what about two through ten? 00:09:34.000 --> 00:09:35.000 Ah, Christ! 00:09:42.000 --> 00:09:43.000 You done goofed. 00:09:43.000 --> 00:09:47.000 How the blood-soaked protestant hell did you do that?! 00:09:47.000 --> 00:09:48.000 Fuck you, that's how. 00:09:48.000 --> 00:09:50.000 You know what? I've had enough of this. 00:09:50.000 --> 00:09:52.000 To hell with all you dirty heathens! 00:09:54.000 --> 00:09:57.000 Eat me! Dont forget to write! 00:09:57.000 --> 00:09:58.000 Oh... oh, my God 00:09:58.000 --> 00:10:00.000 We survived! 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:02.000 Sooo... 00:10:02.000 --> 00:10:02.000 What? 00:10:02.000 --> 00:10:03.000 Do I get to go after him? 00:10:03.000 --> 00:10:04.000 No. 00:10:04.000 --> 00:10:05.000 Aw, come on! 00:10:05.000 --> 00:10:07.000 No, and that's final! 00:10:07.000 --> 00:10:09.000 We've got bigger things to worry about. 00:10:09.000 --> 00:10:12.000 Whoever's behind these vampire attacks, 00:10:12.000 --> 00:10:14.000 it has to be some kind of large organized group. 00:10:14.000 --> 00:10:16.000 Like the Nazis? 00:10:16.000 --> 00:10:18.000 That would be retarded. 00:10:23.000 --> 00:10:25.000 Gentlemen... 00:10:25.000 --> 00:10:26.000 ve... 00:10:26.000 --> 00:10:27.000 are Nazis! 00:10:27.000 --> 00:10:29.000 Sieg heil! Sieg heil! 00:10:29.000 --> 00:10:32.000 Und ve... ve have var! 00:10:32.000 --> 00:10:34.000 Sieg heil! Sieg heil! 00:10:34.000 --> 00:10:38.000 Und ve... und ve... 00:10:38.000 --> 00:10:38.000 [Sneezes] 00:10:38.000 --> 00:10:41.000 Gesundheit! Gesundheit!