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Umm also so tell me i was in the crowd yesterday and your hands aren't long enough so who's here for the first time at a Ruby conf?

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God that's just amazing. Okay

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If you're sitting next to one of those people you have 30 seconds in which you can introduce yourselves.

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So do it.

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Don't you just love Ruby conf?

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It's an amazing thing.

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Yeah that we can do this.

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If you're new we're very very glad that you're here.

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Alright alright come back now your time's up. Focus. Focus.

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I knew that would happen if I let you go.

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So Ruby Conf, the Ruby world is different. Okay I have to pay attention because I'm ad libbing.

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This group, there is a way in which out in the real world we are not here we are all just passing.

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You know that, you're all like always sort of on the look out for that extremely boring glazed look in the eyes of people that you're talking to.

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And then we come here and then it's like just us. It's such a relief.

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I find it so comforting to be in this room.

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and part of it for those of you who are really new you may have not heard the acronym M-I-N-S-W-A-N

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And I don't know if Matz is here this morning but that acronym stands for

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Matz - Is - Nice - So - We - Are - Nice

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Yeah! So here he is right in the front!

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Matz is nice so we are nice.

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And part of what makes us a community is like we're a community online but we're also a community because

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we get to get together.

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In a group like this

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and if somebody makes that happen and I can promise you it is not me -- I suck at event organization.

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In fact I got here yesterday morning and I asked the organizers

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for some numbers about the conference

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I suggested it might be interesting for everybody to know what the whole thing cost

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and what part of that cost you're registration fee paid for.

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and I wanted to know some other things like how many CVP proposals they evaluated,

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like there's a ton of work somebody received the t-shirts, somebody got all the signs mades

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somebody arranged the AV

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and Abby who is one of the organizers told me that if I would send her an email she would answer despite

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the fact that she had millions of things to do yesterday she would answer

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me back that day just so I could tell you from stage.

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And then of course I forgot to send that email.

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And I got an email from her last night that said "What do you need? I will look those numbers up and get them to you by tomorrow morning."

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And by that point I thought, it was enough really

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it adequately demonstrated to me the difference between me and her already

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so I don't have that data for you but what I am going to do

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let's do two things, so somebody made it possible for us to be here

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and I am enormously grateful

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they not only did all the work

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they got all the sponsors

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and the sponsors are putting up money

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and it really really matters

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I'm gonna name thing, OpenGov, Bugsnag, Constant Contact, EngineYard, NineFold, StitchFix, PluralSight, RackSpace, WePay,

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and all of the organizers who make it possible for us

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to be here.

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It's part of what makes us, our culture

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gets built when we get to be together like this.

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And so my job here is not to just be grateful to

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be here

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This morning I am here to tell you your future.

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But and I am gonna do that

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I'm gonna tell you you're entire, accurate future.

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I'm gonna do that in about 29 minutes from now.

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And between now and then I'm gonna tell you you're past.

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At least your past if you look like me.

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If you're of european descent.

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If you're from west of here, if you're from Japan, China or Korea

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Or if you're from south of here, any place

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in the Americas.

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You're story is a little bit different.

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But all of these histories are like tributaries and

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there is a stream, they form together in this stream.

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and leave eventually to the present so that we're all here together

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and this story, this story i'm gonna tell you starts with scrolls

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first, invented perhaps as long as seven thousand years ago

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and certainly they existed in Ancient Egypt