9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Umm also so tell me i was in the crowd yesterday and your hands aren't long enough so who's here for the first time at a Ruby conf? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 God that's just amazing. Okay 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 If you're sitting next to one of those people you have 30 seconds in which you can introduce yourselves. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So do it. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Don't you just love Ruby conf? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 It's an amazing thing. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Yeah that we can do this. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 If you're new we're very very glad that you're here. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Alright alright come back now your time's up. Focus. Focus. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I knew that would happen if I let you go. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So Ruby Conf, the Ruby world is different. Okay I have to pay attention because I'm ad libbing. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 This group, there is a way in which out in the real world we are not here we are all just passing. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 You know that, you're all like always sort of on the look out for that extremely boring glazed look in the eyes of people that you're talking to. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And then we come here and then it's like just us. It's such a relief. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I find it so comforting to be in this room. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and part of it for those of you who are really new you may have not heard the acronym M-I-N-S-W-A-N 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And I don't know if Matz is here this morning but that acronym stands for 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Matz - Is - Nice - So - We - Are - Nice 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Yeah! So here he is right in the front! 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Matz is nice so we are nice. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And part of what makes us a community is like we're a community online but we're also a community because 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 we get to get together. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 In a group like this 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and if somebody makes that happen and I can promise you it is not me -- I suck at event organization. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 In fact I got here yesterday morning and I asked the organizers 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 for some numbers about the conference 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I suggested it might be interesting for everybody to know what the whole thing cost 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and what part of that cost you're registration fee paid for. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and I wanted to know some other things like how many CVP proposals they evaluated, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 like there's a ton of work somebody received the t-shirts, somebody got all the signs mades 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 somebody arranged the AV 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and Abby who is one of the organizers told me that if I would send her an email she would answer despite 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 the fact that she had millions of things to do yesterday she would answer 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 me back that day just so I could tell you from stage. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And then of course I forgot to send that email. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And I got an email from her last night that said "What do you need? I will look those numbers up and get them to you by tomorrow morning." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And by that point I thought, it was enough really 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 it adequately demonstrated to me the difference between me and her already 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 so I don't have that data for you but what I am going to do 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 let's do two things, so somebody made it possible for us to be here 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and I am enormously grateful 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 they not only did all the work 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 they got all the sponsors 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and the sponsors are putting up money 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and it really really matters 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I'm gonna name thing, OpenGov, Bugsnag, Constant Contact, EngineYard, NineFold, StitchFix, PluralSight, RackSpace, WePay, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and all of the organizers who make it possible for us 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 to be here. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 It's part of what makes us, our culture 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 gets built when we get to be together like this. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And so my job here is not to just be grateful to 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 be here 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 This morning I am here to tell you your future. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But and I am gonna do that 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I'm gonna tell you you're entire, accurate future. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I'm gonna do that in about 29 minutes from now. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And between now and then I'm gonna tell you you're past. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 At least your past if you look like me. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 If you're of european descent. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 If you're from west of here, if you're from Japan, China or Korea 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Or if you're from south of here, any place 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 in the Americas. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 You're story is a little bit different. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But all of these histories are like tributaries and 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 there is a stream, they form together in this stream. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and leave eventually to the present so that we're all here together 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and this story, this story i'm gonna tell you starts with scrolls 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 first, invented perhaps as long as seven thousand years ago 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and certainly they existed in Ancient Egypt