0:00:00.000,0:00:05.100
Because we're doing live-streaming[br]internationally now I'll try and aim

0:00:05.100,0:00:08.700
for slightly shorter talks,[br]maybe 45-50 minutes

0:00:08.700,0:00:12.900
so we can give more[br]opportunities for questions,

0:00:12.900,0:00:18.800
especially when they come from overseas.[br]So it'll be a bit shorter this time.

0:00:18.800,0:00:22.900
First of all please if everyone can come in,

0:00:22.900,0:00:30.900
sitting outside or standing outside,[br]again there's lots of space in the front.

0:00:30.900,0:00:43.000
And the subject of the talk is another[br]suggestion which was sent to me on the internet,

0:00:43.000,0:00:54.000
but please if we can stop more suggestions[br]on the internet because we've got enough

0:00:54.000,0:00:57.300
suggestions now for talks for the next year.[br][laughs]

0:00:57.300,0:01:07.000
So maybe we can stop it for at least a month or so,[br]but I've added that because it makes it possible

0:01:07.000,0:01:13.300
to give talks for people which are relevant,[br]and the topic which, the first one which

0:01:13.300,0:01:22.300
came through was they wanted me to talk on[br]the Buddhist idea of karma but how we can

0:01:22.300,0:01:26.500
understand that, not just through belief,[br]but through some experience

0:01:26.500,0:01:30.800
or some deeper understanding,[br]because the problem with modern life,

0:01:30.800,0:01:38.200
you are asked to believe in so many things[br]and sometimes what we are asked to believe in

0:01:38.200,0:01:43.700
doesn't make much sense, and you may say[br]the same with the Law of Karma.

0:01:43.700,0:01:49.100
Do we have to believe in that or if it's[br]something we just have to believe in then

0:01:49.100,0:01:54.800
you're not going to get involved in such things,[br]because beliefs are very uncertain.

0:01:54.800,0:02:00.200
But can we really understand it much more[br]deeper without the need to rely upon belief?

0:02:00.200,0:02:06.800
And of course the first thing I always like[br]to impress with this Law of Karma is the

0:02:06.800,0:02:11.000
usual simplistic idea that kamma means if

0:02:11.000,0:02:15.200
you punch your mother when you were young,[br]you're going to have to have, you know,

0:02:15.200,0:02:20.000
hay fever in your nose for the[br]rest of your life. [laughter]

0:02:20.000,0:02:23.200
Or, you know, that simplistic idea that[br]whatever you're experiencing now it means

0:02:23.200,0:02:29.000
because you've done something similar to[br]somebody else in the past.

0:02:29.000,0:02:34.800
That idea of like action and punishment is[br]something which never made sense to me at all.

0:02:34.800,0:02:42.500
So don't even just not believe in that, reject that,[br]because that is far too naive and simplistic.

0:02:42.500,0:02:51.300
[br]And in fact, you know, when we try and find out[br]why this is happening to me? What did I do?

0:02:51.300,0:02:56.600
Or why does this always happen to me?[br]Is this some kamma I did in the past?

0:02:56.600,0:03:04.200
It's not very helpful because you can't[br]work out why these things are happening to you..

0:03:04.200,0:03:10.300
Actually you’ll probably find out they happen[br]to me as well and to the person sitting next to you

0:03:10.300,0:03:13.900
This is just the nature of life - these things happen!

0:03:13.900,0:03:22.800
So you’ve seen that on the back of the posters.[br]There's a lot of wisdom you see when you're

0:03:22.800,0:03:28.000
driving down the freeway on the back of[br]other people's cars, you know, that shit happens,

0:03:28.000,0:03:33.000
but it mostly comes from assholes[br]as they say [laughter].

0:03:33.000,0:03:35.500
But yeah it happens and we've all got[br]an asshole, haven't we? [laughter]

0:03:35.500,0:03:43.000
It's all part of us which is[br]nasty and mean sometimes..

0:03:43.000,0:03:49.200
But just thinking about that,[br]it doesn't really help..

0:03:49.200,0:03:52.700
it may for some people think

0:03:52.700,0:03:58.100
“oh, why this happens is because I must’ve[br]done something bad in the past”.

0:03:58.100,0:04:06.400
That gets very negative and gets into this[br]thing about being bad, and so it gets into

0:04:06.400,0:04:12.100
the guilt trips and that's something which[br]I've tried to get out of my life and try to

0:04:12.100,0:04:13.000
encourage other people to get rid of.

0:04:13.000,0:04:13.800
0:04:13.800,0:04:18.100[br]I'm going to say another story which is[br]very similar, which you've heard before,

0:04:18.100,0:04:23.200
but which I'm going to bring back into[br]this whole idea of karma,

0:04:23.200,0:04:28.100
about what happens when you think you’ve[br]got some trouble or difficulty,

0:04:28.100,0:04:37.100
and that was every time I went to the doctor[br]I felt guilty.

0:04:37.100,0:04:43.000
Years and years and years ago, I had,[br]I think, some sort of sickness and never

0:04:43.000,0:04:46.900
found out exactly what it was about,[br]over 20 years ago now,

0:04:46.900,0:04:51.800
the last time I was really sick..[br]And I went to the doctors and I was sitting

0:04:51.800,0:04:56.300
there in the doctor's surgery in Byford[br]waiting for the doctor to call me in,

0:04:56.300,0:05:02.000
and somebody who knew me came into the[br]doctor's surgery and they saw me,

0:05:02.000,0:05:07.500
this monk, who meditates,[br]who lives a nice peaceful lifestyle,

0:05:07.500,0:05:13.200
who doesn't get involved in the stresses[br]of normal life, and they looked at me and they said

0:05:13.200,0:05:16.200
“I never expected to see you in here!”[br][laughter].

0:05:16.200,0:05:23.000
And I felt really guilty - maybe I wasn't[br]eating enough brown rice,

0:05:23.000,0:05:25.400
maybe I wasn't exercising..

0:05:25.400,0:05:27.800
I'm supposed to be a monk![br]I'm supposed to be healthy,

0:05:27.800,0:05:33.200
living a good lifestyle, and he made me[br]feel guilty about being in a doctor's surgery.

0:05:33.200,0:05:39.000
Okay, if I was in a pub or a brothel[br]or something then and I should feel guilty [laughter],

0:05:39.000,0:05:44.300
but what's wrong with being in a[br]doctor's surgery!? It's part of life.

0:05:44.300,0:05:50.700
And that was the situation, the incident[br]where I started to teach people:

0:05:50.700,0:05:57.200
look there is nothing wrong with being sick![br]And to make that point,

0:05:57.200,0:06:03.600
I've done this exercise in all these talks[br]I’ve been giving, asking people can you

0:06:03.600,0:06:08.600
please put your hand up right now[br]if you've never been sick in your life,

0:06:08.600,0:06:10.700
not once being sick.

0:06:10.700,0:06:15.100
Is there anybody right now who has never[br]been sick in their life so far?

0:06:15.100,0:06:20.400
And you may not see this on the internet[br]but there's not one person in this crowd

0:06:20.400,0:06:26.000
of about three hundred who’s got their hand up.[br]The reason is because you've all been sick in life.

0:06:26.000,0:06:32.200
And imagine if you've never been sick,[br]you've been a human being and all these years

0:06:32.200,0:06:36.300
you've lived you've never had a day of[br]sickness in your life, you would be weird,

0:06:36.300,0:06:42.600
you'd be so strange that the medical[br]establishment will get you into their

0:06:42.600,0:06:45.900
universities and do all sorts of tests on you.

0:06:45.900,0:06:48.600
“What's wrong with you?[br]You haven't been sick.”

0:06:48.600,0:06:58.000
So the point of that simile is that[br]sickness is natural, sickness is ordinary,

0:06:58.000,0:07:04.300
in fact there must be something right[br]with you - you're sick again.

0:07:04.300,0:07:10.300
And I've been teaching that for such a[br]long time there are many doctors here in

0:07:10.300,0:07:14.100
Perth who come and tell me[br]“yes somebody came into our surgery today

0:07:14.100,0:07:18.000
and they said ‘doctor there's something[br]right with me, I'm sick again’,

0:07:18.000,0:07:20.000
it must be one of your disciples Ajahn Brahm”.[br][laughter]

0:07:20.000,0:07:27.000
[br]But look, the reason why we do that,[br]we say “doctor there's something right with me,

0:07:27.000,0:07:36.000
I'm sick” is to take this negativity away[br]from the difficulties and problems of life.

0:07:36.000,0:07:44.300
There's nothing wrong with being sick,[br]there's nothing wrong with having a problem in life.

0:07:44.300,0:07:50.100
But if we think it's something wrong,[br]that I'm being punished for a bad thing

0:07:50.100,0:07:57.700
I did and that's Karma. No no no.[br]It's not a punishment thing,

0:07:57.700,0:08:02.700
it's not that something's wrong.[br]This is part of human life.

0:08:02.700,0:08:10.200
You'll be sick sometimes even if you do[br]eat brown rice, if you are totally vegetarian,

0:08:10.200,0:08:15.000
if you exercise and you eat..[br]how many vegetables are you supposed to eat every day?

0:08:15.000,0:08:19.000
And pieces of fruit? Five vegetables?

0:08:19.000,0:08:21.800
Even if you eat six vegetables every day,[br]you can still get sick!

0:08:21.800,0:08:26.100
So the point is[br]there's nothing wrong with being sick,

0:08:26.100,0:08:30.800
even if you're a really really really[br]good wife, you do all the right things,

0:08:30.800,0:08:32.900
still your husband argues with you[br][chuckles].

0:08:32.900,0:08:43.100
If you bring up your kids and do all[br]the right things, still they drive you crazy.

0:08:43.100,0:08:48.100
So is there something wrong with your kids?[br]Is there something wrong with youth today?

0:08:48.100,0:08:52.400
There is nothing wrong with youth today,[br]that's what they're like!

0:08:52.400,0:08:58.500
That's what marriage is like,[br]there's nothing wrong with your marriage!

0:08:58.500,0:09:05.500
Even if you're getting divorced this weekend[br][laughter], this is part of life.

0:09:05.500,0:09:11.000
So we don't say “there's something wrong[br]with me lawyer, I'm getting divorced today”,

0:09:11.000,0:09:13.000
“there's something right with me,[br]I'm getting divorced!”

0:09:13.000,0:09:13.600
0:09:13.600,0:09:22.500[br]So what we're doing there is we’re accepting[br]these things are part of life.

0:09:22.500,0:09:29.800
When we say there's something wrong,[br]whether our marriage is broken up, what happens?

0:09:29.800,0:09:36.000
Guilt, anger, blame, fighting and those are[br]the things which I'm trying to dismantle,

0:09:36.000,0:09:39.000
take away from life.[br]No guilt, no anger,

0:09:39.000,0:09:47.600
to say that this is happening to me right now,[br]this is part of life, no more than

0:09:47.600,0:09:51.000
“there’s something wrong with me,[br]I'm sick again doctor”,

0:09:51.000,0:09:55.000
“there's something right with me,[br]I'm sick”,

0:09:55.000,0:09:57.200
“there's something right with me,[br]there's a problem in my life”,

0:09:57.200,0:10:01.600
“there's something right with me,[br]it's a difficulty of my finances.”

0:10:01.600,0:10:08.000
[br]So this is taking that law of karma and[br]seeing it in a far deeper, much better way.

0:10:08.000,0:10:13.100
Not that we're blaming ourselves because[br]something bad we did in the past,

0:10:13.100,0:10:19.400
yeah it's got its causes, but the point is[br]when we say there's something right with me,

0:10:19.400,0:10:23.000
I'm having a problem in my life,[br]it takes away the guilt,

0:10:23.000,0:10:26.400
it takes away the anger

0:10:26.400,0:10:32.000
and why is it right - because[br]when it's right it gives you

0:10:32.000,0:10:36.000
the opportunity, embracing it,[br]learning from it, growing from it.

0:10:36.000,0:10:38.200
0:10:38.200,0:10:44.500The other karma simile,[br]which is a very important one,

0:10:44.500,0:10:51.000
it was so important that the book, you know,[br]which I just saw the Buddhist Society,

0:10:51.000,0:10:56.200
what was it… the Korean edition,[br]it just got a $5,000 cheque this week

0:10:56.200,0:10:59.100
from the Korean edition of[br]“Opening the Door of your Heart”.

0:10:59.100,0:11:00.700
You're making a fortune out of me![br][laughter]

0:11:00.700,0:11:09.200
But in the American edition of that book[br]it was called

0:11:09.200,0:11:13.400
“Who ordered this truckload of dung?”[br]Instead of “Opening the Door of your Heart”

0:11:13.400,0:11:17.600
it had a different title,[br]which is important because it means that

0:11:17.600,0:11:23.000
people buy both books,[br]not realizing they're the same [laughter].

0:11:23.000,0:11:26.800
Excellent marketing, but doesn’t matter,[br]it's all good charity work.

0:11:26.800,0:11:33.300
But that simile on the front of that book[br]which is suggesting that these things

0:11:33.300,0:11:36.900
which happen to us in life,[br]yeah there's something right with me,

0:11:36.900,0:11:41.500
I've got more dung now,[br]I've got more shit,

0:11:41.500,0:11:50.900
I've got more to learn from, to grow from,[br]and this is one of the most important things

0:11:50.900,0:11:52.700
about the Law of Karma -[br]when you're having a good time,

0:11:52.700,0:11:54.800
marvelous, enjoy it,

0:11:54.800,0:11:58.300
there's nothing wrong with enjoying[br]yourself and being happy.

0:11:58.300,0:12:03.900
Even last week somebody came to the[br]monastery in Serpentine and I had to spend

0:12:03.900,0:12:08.600
a long time counselling them because[br]there was nothing going wrong in their life,

0:12:08.600,0:12:13.300
they're having a wonderful life and[br]they felt so guilty, they felt so bad,

0:12:13.300,0:12:17.800
they were just having a wonderful relationship,[br]a nice job, plenty of money, good health,

0:12:17.800,0:12:21.300
enjoying themselves in a peaceful country,[br]they felt so bad about that.

0:12:21.300,0:12:25.500
Come on![br]I've been working hard to

0:12:25.500,0:12:29.400
get you into that state and now you get there,[br]you’re having a good life and everything

0:12:29.400,0:12:34.000
is going well and then you still complain![br][laughter]

0:12:34.000,0:12:38.200
And so I said,[br]“look, it's alright to be happy”,

0:12:38.200,0:12:45.000
and in fact some years ago I was[br]counseling another person having a

0:12:45.000,0:12:49.600
very good time but they felt guilty about it,[br]so on our monastery letterhead,

0:12:49.600,0:12:52.800
you know, nice letterhead,[br]Bodhinyana Monastery Serpentine,

0:12:52.800,0:12:57.600
I typed out a letter and I signed it,[br]and it was a license.

0:12:57.600,0:13:01.800
I said this is a happiness license

0:13:01.800,0:13:06.000
“I, Ajahn Brahm, Spiritual Director of[br]the Buddhist Society of Western Australia

0:13:06.000,0:13:08.900
hereby grant you permission to be happy”[br]and I signed that for her [laughs],

0:13:08.900,0:13:16.000
so they could put it on their wall and[br]they can remind themselves

0:13:16.000,0:13:22.100
actually there’s nothing wrong with being happy.[br]Don't feel guilty about that.

0:13:22.100,0:13:28.300
[br]So the happiness, it’s karma or something,[br]whatever, here it is, enjoy it,

0:13:28.300,0:13:34.900
have fun with it, don't worry about it.[br]And if you can enjoy that happiness then

0:13:34.900,0:13:39.600
you maybe also be able to say the same thing[br]about giving yourself permission

0:13:39.600,0:13:41.700
to have a problem as well.

0:13:41.700,0:13:48.800
There's nothing wrong with that either,[br]both are this wonderful thing called life,

0:13:48.800,0:13:53.000
they're part of life, so we love the[br]whole lot - having happiness - great.

0:13:53.000,0:13:56.900
When you're having difficulty -[br]learn from it, grow from it.

0:13:56.900,0:14:01.600
It is shit, it smells, it stinks,[br]that's what some people think,

0:14:01.600,0:14:08.000
but it's great for your fertilizer[br]for your garden.

0:14:08.000,0:14:13.900
We have a big compost pile in our monastery.[br]All the excess food which doesn't

0:14:13.900,0:14:20.000
get eaten we put it in that compost pile[br]and we get some manure from the prison farm

0:14:20.000,0:14:24.700
up the road and we dig it in there,[br]and some of these people they love getting

0:14:24.700,0:14:29.300
in the compost, digging all the shit up[br]and they stink for days but they love it,

0:14:29.300,0:14:35.500
so it must be something about shit which[br]is quite lovable, and adorable,

0:14:35.500,0:14:42.100
and they love it because they know that[br]that's going to make this beautiful garden

0:14:42.100,0:14:47.700
and that was the whole point of[br]that truckload of dung simile.

0:14:47.700,0:14:51.900
That when things actually happen in life,[br]instead of blaming,

0:14:51.900,0:14:57.000
“oh it's my kamma, I've done terrible things,[br]stupid me, why did I do this?”

0:14:57.000,0:15:04.100
and getting depressed,[br]in other words getting guilt and

0:15:04.100,0:15:09.000
shoving it all on yourself,[br]or the other one, getting angry and bitter,

0:15:09.000,0:15:13.600
“it's his fault, it's her fault,[br]it's the government’s fault,

0:15:13.600,0:15:16.000
it's a system fault,[br]down with the system!”

0:15:16.000,0:15:19.500
No, that's not part of Buddhism.

0:15:19.500,0:15:23.000
We don't believe in suicide bombers.

0:15:23.000,0:15:24.800
Actually there's a joke about suicide bombers.

0:15:24.800,0:15:31.800
In the suicide bomber training camp,[br]somewhere in this sort of the Middle East,

0:15:31.800,0:15:38.100
on the last lesson the instructor called[br]all these potential suicide bombers together

0:15:38.100,0:15:43.000
and said “I'm now going to demonstrate[br]the suicide vest and please listen carefully

0:15:43.000,0:15:51.500
because I'm only going to tell you this once”.[br][laughter]

0:15:51.500,0:15:56.700
Anyway if you don't understand then ask[br]a person who laughed sitting next to you.

0:15:56.700,0:16:04.000
Can only do a practical demonstration once, okay.

0:16:04.000,0:16:09.400
Anyway back to the...what was I telling anyway,[br]I just got lost in my jokes..

0:16:09.400,0:16:15.500
But yeah back to the story about the shits,[br]the difficulties in life, instead of just

0:16:15.500,0:16:20.900
getting angry at yourself or angry at others[br]which causes all this violence in this world,

0:16:20.900,0:16:28.500
we accept this and the real law of karma,[br]the one you don't have to have faith in,

0:16:28.500,0:16:32.700
you don't have to believe in,[br]the one you can try out and my goodness

0:16:32.700,0:16:37.400
it really works, say[br]“Here I am with this difficult problem,

0:16:37.400,0:16:42.400
it's shitty, it's difficult[br]but what can I do about it?

0:16:42.400,0:16:47.300
What can I do with it?”[br]And you'll find out once you embrace

0:16:47.300,0:16:48.700
the problems in life[br]and the happiness in life

0:16:48.700,0:16:53.600
and embrace both, this is life,[br]enjoy the problems and

0:16:53.600,0:16:56.800
work with the difficulties,[br]dig them in, make something happen,

0:16:56.800,0:17:03.800
and you'll find that the difficulties[br]and problems in life that is where you

0:17:03.800,0:17:09.300
really really grow and become this[br]incredibly powerful wise compassionate being.

0:17:09.300,0:17:13.500
And it's not just for others,[br]it's for yourself as well.

0:17:13.500,0:17:18.600
It's the shit which grows the flowers and[br]which gives the sweetness to the fruit and

0:17:18.600,0:17:23.100
gives all the scents in a garden.[br]That's what happens.

0:17:23.100,0:17:30.600
So the Law of Karma means[br]“what am I doing with what I've got”?

0:17:30.600,0:17:34.100
And the other nice thing about the[br]law of karma which I've been really

0:17:34.100,0:17:41.000
pushing recently is[br]where is karma made?

0:17:41.000,0:17:47.100
The whole idea of karma is a cause-and-effect,[br]it gives you a sense of control,

0:17:47.100,0:17:51.700
especially your past you can’t do much[br]about your past, it’s finished,

0:17:51.700,0:17:56.500
it's done, you all know that,[br]but your future lies ahead of you and

0:17:56.500,0:18:00.700
you've got this whole vista of possibilities.

0:18:00.700,0:18:08.800
Now some of you think oh, not me,[br]I can't do this, I've stuffed up all my life,

0:18:08.800,0:18:12.900
I'm going to stuff up again,[br]that is not the law of karma.

0:18:12.900,0:18:17.000
The law of karma is[br]“here I am, come to this particular spot

0:18:17.000,0:18:24.200
and the law of karma means you can make[br]anything out of what you've got”.

0:18:24.200,0:18:26.100
Out of shit you can make a garden,

0:18:26.100,0:18:29.500
out of happiness you can make[br]so many other people happy.

0:18:29.500,0:18:35.500
Whatever you have to deal with,[br]the future is totally open to you.

0:18:35.500,0:18:39.100
When I realised that,[br]I realised that my goodness,

0:18:39.100,0:18:42.300
I am not restricted or limited at all.

0:18:42.300,0:18:48.200
The possibilities of your life are[br]totally open and free.

0:18:48.200,0:18:53.400
[br]And sometimes I've collected stories[br]of amazing things which happen to people.

0:18:53.400,0:18:59.000
One of these stories that I was talking[br]about to some of the monks earlier

0:18:59.000,0:19:03.500
about a week or two ago,[br]because it was this story of this young

0:19:03.500,0:19:09.300
guy who was run away when he was very very young,[br]and he reminded me of this story which

0:19:09.300,0:19:15.700
I read in a newspaper or magazine about[br]this little kid in Los Angeles who ran away

0:19:15.700,0:19:22.600
when he was only five years of age.[br]And he ran away because he was being sort of

0:19:22.600,0:19:29.800
hurt by his friends and he'd been beaten[br]by the people supposed to be looking after him.

0:19:29.800,0:19:35.200
He ran away and he lived on the streets of[br]Los Angeles from the time he was 5 years of age.

0:19:35.200,0:19:41.500
He was a survivor and obviously to survive,[br]you know, he had to get into petty crime

0:19:41.500,0:19:46.900
and he went into some juvenile detention[br]many times and one thing led to another -

0:19:46.900,0:19:55.000
he became a career criminal and in and out[br]of jail on petty crimes and the event which

0:19:55.000,0:20:00.700
totally turned his life around,[br]he was at the end of one sentence in one of

0:20:00.700,0:20:08.400
the terrible prisons in California and[br]he had a case officer who was preparing him

0:20:08.400,0:20:13.600
for his parole, trying to find him a job.[br]You know, what sort of job can you get to

0:20:13.600,0:20:17.600
a person's been in and out of jail[br]for such a long time?

0:20:17.600,0:20:20.200
You can understand why,[br]five years of age,

0:20:20.200,0:20:24.000
no sort-of family to look after him,[br]and he survived.

0:20:24.000,0:20:30.000
But anyway,[br]that his case officer was trying to find a

0:20:30.000,0:20:34.300
job for him and she knew a friend,[br]now this was Los Angeles,

0:20:34.300,0:20:40.100
who was trying to make a movie,[br]and it was like most of these movies,

0:20:40.100,0:20:43.300
this director was not,[br]or the producer was not well known at

0:20:43.300,0:20:47.200
the time and he wanted to make a movie,[br]gangster movie,

0:20:47.200,0:20:53.900
but they wanted to make it authentic,[br]so that she talked this producer into hiring

0:20:53.900,0:20:57.700
this guy as a consultant about[br]how real gangsters speak.

0:20:57.700,0:21:03.700
You know that was one thing he really knew,[br]he'd been a gangster all his life,

0:21:03.700,0:21:08.200
lived on the streets,[br]so he knew the language, authentic.

0:21:08.200,0:21:14.600
So he was released from jail and he advised[br]in this movie about the language of gangsters,

0:21:14.600,0:21:18.700
the producer was quite impressed with him[br]and actually gave him a part in the movie.

0:21:18.700,0:21:25.600
The director was called Quentin Tarantino,[br]it was his first big break “Reservoir Dogs”,

0:21:25.600,0:21:29.400
apparently a very violent movie,[br]I've never seen it obviously,

0:21:29.400,0:21:37.500
but this guy came out of prison,[br]made a few million dollars out of that movie

0:21:37.500,0:21:43.900
and about six months after he was released from jail,[br]was living in Malibu, in this big mansion

0:21:43.900,0:21:47.400
and he married this beautiful parole officer[br]and he said he can't believe it,

0:21:47.400,0:21:53.500
sort of six months ago he was in jail with[br]absolutely nothing, now he’s a millionaire

0:21:53.500,0:21:57.200
living with other film stars[br]with a beautiful wife and he said just how

0:21:57.200,0:21:59.000
life can turn around so quickly.

0:21:59.000,0:22:05.000
He was obviously in the right place at[br]the right time but he made use of what he knew,

0:22:05.000,0:22:12.100
and I kind of like that story because that[br]was actually showing just how, you know,

0:22:12.100,0:22:16.500
your career, your life can just turn[br]on a dime as they say,

0:22:16.500,0:22:19.600
you just don't know what's going to happen next.

0:22:19.600,0:22:23.500
You can't predict it,[br]amazing things happen in life.

0:22:23.500,0:22:30.900
[br]So that is what the law of karma means -[br]keep all options open.

0:22:30.900,0:22:34.300
You can do anything with[br]what you've got right now.

0:22:34.300,0:22:42.100
The point is because it's possible,[br]that's why you do the very best you can,

0:22:42.100,0:22:44.200
there's no such thing as hopelessness.

0:22:44.200,0:22:48.800
Incredibly powerful, positive,[br]you can do anything.

0:22:48.800,0:22:59.500
So where do you do your karma? Right now.[br]This is a place your future is being made,

0:22:59.500,0:23:05.400
and probably most people they worry[br]about the future, they're anxious about it,

0:23:05.400,0:23:11.000
they go to fortune tellers trying to predict[br]the future and while they're going to

0:23:11.000,0:23:15.400
a fortune-teller, while they're being anxious,[br]while they're worrying about the future,

0:23:15.400,0:23:21.700
they're not doing anything about their future,[br]which is why we keep stuffing up.

0:23:21.700,0:23:30.300
[br]So what I understand about the law of karma is,[br]karma is what I am doing right now about my future.

0:23:30.300,0:23:38.000
So what can I do about my future?[br]I can right now, as a monk, be peaceful,

0:23:38.000,0:23:45.000
be kind, be compassionate, be caring,[br]be friendly, be soft, get rid of all this

0:23:45.000,0:23:50.400
negativity which is going to create[br]a terrible future for myself if I'm negative,

0:23:50.400,0:23:54.200
blaming, and sort of angry at people,[br]if I keep thinking

0:23:54.200,0:23:59.300
“Why do I always have to come and give[br]a talk on a Friday night??

0:23:59.300,0:24:06.800
Why do I have to work during the holidays??[br]Everybody else is having time off..

0:24:06.800,0:24:12.000
Every time since I landed on Christmas Eve[br]I've been working every day,

0:24:12.000,0:24:17.000
answering people's problems..[br]Why me?? Moan moan moan.”

0:24:17.000,0:24:22.000
People can do that!

0:24:22.000,0:24:27.000
“Why can't I retire?? I'm over 60 now,[br]I've worked long enough as a monk,

0:24:27.000,0:24:30.700
but I'm going to have to keep working[br]till I'm 70, till I'm 80,

0:24:30.700,0:24:36.000
that's when life really starts for[br]a holy person.” [laughs]

0:24:36.000,0:24:41.000
So it's very easy to moan isn't it[br]and get negative?

0:24:41.000,0:24:45.700
And I can do negativity if you really want to,[br]but no, I'm not going to ruin

0:24:45.700,0:24:51.000
my present moment and my future by looking[br]at it with these dark glasses.

0:24:51.000,0:24:55.900
So instead, I realised that I am making[br]my future right now.

0:24:55.900,0:25:01.200
If I wanna have a happy future,[br]if I'm gonna have a happy weekend,

0:25:01.200,0:25:04.500
the weekend starts now,[br]right now in this moment,

0:25:04.500,0:25:08.600
so I'm going to be peaceful,[br]I'm going to be kind, compassionate.

0:25:08.600,0:25:13.000
Compassion is a beautiful things because[br]once you start it now, it's like a fire,

0:25:13.000,0:25:17.000
like one of these wildfires,[br]it takes off, you know,

0:25:17.000,0:25:19.400
all these bushfires you see in Australia,[br]it starts from a little spark,

0:25:19.400,0:25:25.200
one little spark of kindness[br]and it takes off this whole bushfire,

0:25:25.200,0:25:30.700
information of kindness in society,[br]now this bushfire is international,

0:25:30.700,0:25:35.500
the bush fire of compassion spreading,[br]and being kind to yourself,

0:25:35.500,0:25:38.000
being kind to others,[br]being forgiving for goodness sake.

0:25:38.000,0:25:44.100
Why am I going to destroy my future by[br]carrying around the pain of the past?

0:25:44.100,0:25:50.000
I'm not going to do that.[br]Right now in this moment,

0:25:50.000,0:25:55.300
this is a time I'm going to let go and forgive,[br]right now this is the only time I've got,

0:25:55.300,0:26:00.000
all that shit of the past bye-bye,[br]down the toilet where it belongs,

0:26:00.000,0:26:06.000
flush gurgle gurgle bye-bye -[br]to be free and I do this right now because

0:26:06.000,0:26:10.900
now is the place my future's being made,[br]that's karma.

0:26:10.900,0:26:17.300
[br]Karma means work, it's making things happen.[br]You don't make things happen tomorrow or

0:26:17.300,0:26:22.300
next week - now - and understanding[br]the power of that,

0:26:22.300,0:26:26.500
this is the time to transform,[br]this is the time you let go,

0:26:26.500,0:26:29.000
this is the time you're free.

0:26:29.000,0:26:31.200
And once you are free,[br]once you walk out of jail,

0:26:31.200,0:26:35.000
you're out of jail forever.[br]So get out of jail tonight, right now,

0:26:35.000,0:26:39.000
at twenty seven minutes past eight[br]Western Standard Time. [laughs]

0:26:39.000,0:26:40.700
Now.[br]When you learn how to do this,

0:26:40.700,0:26:49.800
now that is Karma and if you try that[br]you know that works,

0:26:49.800,0:26:55.000
your future gets happier and happier,

0:26:55.000,0:26:58.700
and it's also, problem comes, great![br]Shit, let's learn from this.

0:26:58.700,0:27:03.900
[br]So whatever happens in your life,[br]whatever occurs to you,

0:27:03.900,0:27:08.000
instead of saying there's something wrong[br]and getting negative,

0:27:08.000,0:27:11.600
it’s something right with me,[br]I've got a problem again,

0:27:11.600,0:27:15.800
there’s something right with me,[br]I have to come and give a talk

0:27:15.800,0:27:18.700
on another Friday night,[br]there's something right with me,

0:27:18.700,0:27:23.800
someone's coming to ask me this counselling,[br]there’s something right with me,

0:27:23.800,0:27:28.600
after the talk people line up,[br]“Ajahn Brahm, can you please help on my marriage”.

0:27:28.600,0:27:35.000
I say “Why me? I’ve become a monk,[br]I've never been married,

0:27:35.000,0:27:42.000
why'd you ask me these silly questions?”[br][laughter] I mean come on! I don't mind.

0:27:42.000,0:27:47.000
So that way, whatever, that's actually how[br]I learn, listen to all your problems.

0:27:47.000,0:27:53.000
You know, I learn much more about marriage[br]than if I ever got married [laughter],

0:27:53.000,0:27:57.500
without the suffering and the pain.[br]So you learn a lot that way.

0:27:57.500,0:28:00.900
So this way whatever happens to you[br]in life, you accept.

0:28:00.900,0:28:09.000
So be wary the next time you use the word “wrong”,[br]stop and say “no, there's something right.”

0:28:09.000,0:28:16.500
“I made a mistake.”[br]That's the other thing, making mistakes in life,

0:28:16.500,0:28:22.000
how many of you have never made a mistake?[br]Many people who say they've never made

0:28:22.000,0:28:27.000
a mistake are either liars or they’re[br]demented, they've forgotten. [laughter]

0:28:27.000,0:28:30.900
Yeah we've all made mistakes.

0:28:30.900,0:28:35.000
What happens when you make a mistake?[br]When you do something really stupid?

0:28:35.000,0:28:38.800
Do you feel embarrassed?[br]No, when you make a mistake,

0:28:38.800,0:28:43.000
something’s right, you’re a human being.

0:28:43.000,0:28:47.700
Isn't that wonderful that when you make a[br]mistake and other people make a mistake,

0:28:47.700,0:28:51.900
you think “Wow! They're the same as me.”[br]Isn't that great.

0:28:51.900,0:28:59.000
We're allowed to make mistakes.[br]That takes away a lot of guilt

0:28:59.000,0:29:04.900
and more importantly fear.

0:29:04.900,0:29:09.000
At work if you make a mistake[br]what happens to you?

0:29:09.000,0:29:12.700
You get told off, you lose your job.[br]Not in Bodhinyana Monastery where I live,

0:29:12.700,0:29:14.100
when people make a mistake,

0:29:14.100,0:29:18.000
“Well done, you’ve made a mistake,[br]you're human.”

0:29:18.000,0:29:22.000
That's actually why the place is a mess,[br]too many monks. [laughter]

0:29:22.000,0:29:23.800
It’s not a mess, it’s a very happy place,[br]but sometimes it could be cleaner,

0:29:23.800,0:29:30.400
it could be more painted,[br]it could be this..

0:29:30.400,0:29:35.900
A lot of people always give us advice on[br]just how to make the compost this way,

0:29:35.900,0:29:37.200
and make this that way, and that way.

0:29:37.200,0:29:41.200
But you know the thing which I'm[br]most proud about,

0:29:41.200,0:29:44.500
and I am proud about monasteries which[br]we have here in the Buddhist Society,

0:29:44.500,0:29:51.100
the thing I'm most proud about this place[br]is that people feel welcome.

0:29:51.100,0:29:53.400
You don't have to be perfect,

0:29:53.400,0:29:57.000
you don't have to sit like Buddhists[br]in the correct posture.

0:29:57.000,0:30:01.000
Oh look, stop it,[br]as soon as I mentioned posture a few

0:30:01.000,0:30:05.000
people started to lean up..[br]No, why do you feel so guilty about

0:30:05.000,0:30:09.000
not being in the right posture?

0:30:09.000,0:30:13.000
Or they don't bow.[br]Please if you don't want to bow don't bow,

0:30:13.000,0:30:13.200
don't feel guilty about anything,[br]there’s nothing wrong with not bowing,

0:30:13.200,0:30:18.500
there’s nothing wrong with whatever you do,[br]there’s nothing wrong with the kids sort of crying.

0:30:18.500,0:30:22.000
[br]There was one time here,[br]I will never forget this,

0:30:22.000,0:30:24.300
there was a lady over in the corner there[br]fell asleep during one of my talks

0:30:24.300,0:30:31.900
and started snoring. [laughter][br]Is there something wrong about that?

0:30:31.900,0:30:35.500
The thing which was a mistake was when[br]somebody tried to wake her up,

0:30:35.500,0:30:41.700
and I told them afterwards, that woman,[br]because, you know, she told me that she

0:30:41.700,0:30:47.500
was one of these unfortunate victims of[br]domestic abuse and she was so afraid

0:30:47.500,0:30:54.500
in her house, you know, she was not sleeping,[br]so tense, and she came here in this room

0:30:54.500,0:31:01.000
here and this was the first place in weeks[br]where she felt safe.

0:31:01.000,0:31:06.300
I thought that's great, it's not just the talks,[br]it's the atmosphere you create here,

0:31:06.300,0:31:11.400
that's even more important than whatever we say.[br]The fact that she could feel safe here and

0:31:11.400,0:31:14.100
she could lay down and[br]she could actually fall asleep,

0:31:14.100,0:31:18.200
I thought wow what a great achievement of[br]the Buddhist Society of Western Australia,

0:31:18.200,0:31:22.800
that you could give that feeling of[br]safety and kindness and she could fall asleep,

0:31:22.800,0:31:27.000
and somebody woke her up,[br]that was a mistake, never do that again,

0:31:27.000,0:31:30.400
let her sleep, she needed it.

0:31:30.400,0:31:38.200
Now that's what I call like making good karma.[br]There's nothing wrong and if you think

0:31:38.200,0:31:41.900
there’s something wrong, you disturb[br]a person who really needs to sleep.

0:31:41.900,0:31:46.000
Sometimes you make what people call mistakes,[br]and how many times you've been told off

0:31:46.000,0:31:49.100
and then “what did I do wrong?

0:31:49.100,0:31:54.300
I was just...okay, I just made an error,[br]made a slip but that's who I am.”

0:31:54.300,0:31:59.900
And it's so nice to be actually accepted[br]and loved and realise,

0:31:59.900,0:32:02.800
no you haven't made anything wrong,[br]you made a mistake,

0:32:02.800,0:32:07.000
but there's nothing wrong[br]with making a mistake.

0:32:07.000,0:32:11.000
[br]So number one we don't hide our mistakes,[br]we face up to them and learn from them.

0:32:11.000,0:32:14.000
We don't think “no no that wasn't me,[br]I didn't do that.”

0:32:14.000,0:32:16.100
How many times,[br]we got this thing in our monastery,

0:32:16.100,0:32:18.000
when something goes wrong or[br]something goes missing

0:32:18.000,0:32:21.100
we blame the kangaroos.[br]Those kangaroos again,

0:32:21.990,0:32:25.780
they’ve stolen my cloth,[br]they’ve taken it... [laughs]

0:32:25.780,0:32:30.030
That's why they've got these big pockets,[br]you know, that's what happens,

0:32:30.030,0:32:35.570
you should look in those pockets sometimes.[br][laughter]

0:32:35.570,0:32:41.000
[br]There was a time, years ago..[br]You know, your shoes you leave outside,

0:32:41.000,0:32:44.500
you know the advice we always give you,[br]you bring shoes to a Buddhist temple,

0:32:44.500,0:32:49.000
don't bring expensive designer shoes,[br]because somebody's going to look at theirs

0:32:49.000,0:32:52.600
and look at yours and think[br]“no I'll take yours thank you.” [laughter]

0:32:52.600,0:33:00.100
But there was the time here when people[br]were losing shoes but it was really weird,

0:33:00.100,0:33:07.100
it was only one, one shoe of the pair.[br]And this was happening for weeks,

0:33:07.100,0:33:11.000
it's a true story,[br]we wondered what was going on?

0:33:11.000,0:33:14.000
Was it a one-legged man?[br]We're looking at all the people with one leg

0:33:14.000,0:33:17.000
coming in here stealing shoes…[br][laughter]

0:33:17.000,0:33:18.900
And then we found out the answer,[br]it was actually the dog next door. [laughter]

0:33:18.900,0:33:23.900
You were in here, the dog was coming in,[br]he had some fetish for shoes,

0:33:23.900,0:33:30.000
because the owner looked in its kennel and[br]the kennel was half full of shoes from you people.

0:33:30.000,0:33:34.500
[laughter][br]Look, the dog had just snuck up,

0:33:34.500,0:33:37.000
taken a shoe back every Friday night and[br]after only a couple of months of that,

0:33:37.000,0:33:38.000
had a kennel full of shoes.[br]So was that wrong?

0:33:38.000,0:33:48.500
Ah, that’s just a dog[br]that was a bit screwed up,

0:33:48.500,0:33:53.400
I don't know, but it's just a dog being a dog,[br]collecting things, you know,

0:33:53.400,0:33:56.000
you collect things,[br]dogs collects things,

0:33:56.000,0:33:57.600
but you can't, can you blame the dog?

0:33:57.600,0:34:02.000
There's nothing wrong,[br]it's just a dog being weird that's all.

0:34:02.000,0:34:06.000
Humans, you guys are weird,[br]so I don't see why dogs can't be weird.

0:34:06.000,0:34:09.000
[br]But what we’re actually doing there is[br]realising that yeah, it's okay to make mistakes.

0:34:09.000,0:34:18.500
And the psychology of that is actually[br]people make less mistakes when they're allowed to.

0:34:18.500,0:34:23.200
When you're so terrified of making mistakes,[br]we call it walking on eggshells.

0:34:23.200,0:34:29.200
When you walk on eggshells you're not relaxed,[br]you can't perform to your highest and

0:34:29.200,0:34:31.400
that is why people make so many mistakes.

0:34:31.400,0:34:35.600
So look, and I know I’ve said it before,[br]that sometimes the Buddhist Society

0:34:35.600,0:34:38.200
of Western Australia on a Friday night[br]is the best singles club in Western Australia,

0:34:38.200,0:34:43.900
people come up to find somebody to date.[br]But if you are, [laughs],

0:34:43.900,0:34:50.200
if you are sort of going out with the person,[br]please tell each other

0:34:50.200,0:34:55.000
“look, you know, girlfriend, boyfriend,[br]you're allowed to make a mistake.”

0:34:55.000,0:34:58.700
Tell them that from the beginning[br]so they can relax okay.

0:34:58.700,0:35:02.000
And when you relax you have[br]a much better time together.

0:35:02.000,0:35:06.000
You can be yourself.

0:35:06.000,0:35:08.400
When you're so so uptight and[br]you don't want to make a mistake,

0:35:08.400,0:35:10.300
you don't want to say the wrong thing,[br]do the wrong thing,

0:35:10.300,0:35:13.200
ah that's just such a terrible time out together.

0:35:13.200,0:35:18.300
And when you get married,[br]tell your darling husband,

0:35:18.300,0:35:23.000
“husband you are allowed to make a mistake,[br]promise. Ajahn Brahm told me.”

0:35:23.000,0:35:27.100
Even get a piece of paper,[br]you’re allowed to, and the wife,

0:35:27.100,0:35:31.800
you’re allowed to make mistakes,[br]so you can really relax in life and understand.

0:35:31.800,0:35:34.500
[br]Trust people,[br]they're trying to do their best.

0:35:34.500,0:35:37.800
Each one of you, come on,[br]you really are trying hard

0:35:37.800,0:35:41.000
to do your best in life.[br]When you go to work you try

0:35:41.000,0:35:43.900
to do the best for the company,[br]sometimes you make mistakes,

0:35:43.900,0:35:47.400
but trust people,[br]they really want to do their best

0:35:47.400,0:35:52.000
and most people are like that,

0:35:52.000,0:35:57.000
even these guys I’ve seen in jail,[br]in prison, give them a chance.

0:35:57.000,0:36:02.000
They want to do good,[br]they’re trying to do the best in life

0:36:02.000,0:36:03.500
but sometimes the odds are stacked against them,[br]and it's so difficult but underneath

0:36:03.500,0:36:06.100
they really want to do good,[br]they want to be nice people.

0:36:06.100,0:36:10.000
It’s just so tough doing it,[br]the whole society is pushing them,

0:36:10.000,0:36:12.900
you know, in the opposite direction.

0:36:12.900,0:36:16.800
So when you actually trust a person,[br]allow them to make mistakes,

0:36:16.800,0:36:19.400
they don't make so many,[br]they're not afraid.

0:36:19.400,0:36:27.200
It's that fear, guilt, punishment,[br]that's the sort of stuff which messes up

0:36:27.200,0:36:31.900
your life and other people's lives.[br]That is bad karma,

0:36:31.900,0:36:38.200
making mistakes is not bad karma,[br]being afraid is.

0:36:38.200,0:36:44.000
Getting angry is bad karma,[br]getting guilty that is bad karma,

0:36:44.000,0:36:46.100
blaming is bad karma.

0:36:46.100,0:36:50.000
Accepting, embracing, compassion, learning,[br]looking at these things as shit,

0:36:50.000,0:36:53.600
digging them in, that's good kamma.

0:36:53.600,0:37:00.600
And I don't think you need to have faith in that,[br]I think you can all understand it,

0:37:00.600,0:37:05.700
and you can try it out.[br]And my goodness, it really really works.

0:37:05.700,0:37:10.800
Try that out with your kids, I don't know,[br]they may have got their results from their

0:37:10.800,0:37:15.900
year 12 exams or other exams,[br]please don't ever sort-of blame your kids,

0:37:15.900,0:37:21.000
“stupid kid, terrible kid, bad kid,[br]you made too many mistakes in your exams.”

0:37:21.000,0:37:27.000
Oh, come on! That just makes them really[br]feel so guilty and so terrible.

0:37:27.000,0:37:31.200
That may have happened to you in your life,[br]well how does that feel?

0:37:31.200,0:37:36.400
You feel so rejected, you feel a failure[br]and you're only sort of 17 years of age,

0:37:36.400,0:37:41.000
you're already a failure in life..[br]Terrible thing.

0:37:41.000,0:37:45.600
No, just really build them up,[br]that's why I give you tricks to build them up.

0:37:45.600,0:37:51.400
If your kid in year 12 who just got[br]their exam results,

0:37:51.400,0:38:01.120
if they came in the top 5% or the bottom 5%,[br]they're bad Buddhists, [laughs]

0:38:01.120,0:38:05.898
they're not good Buddhists,[br]because what do Buddhists believe in?

0:38:05.898,0:38:10.359
Middle Way. Yeah.[br]so they come in the middle somewhere,

0:38:10.359,0:38:14.696
you're a really good Buddhist. [laughter][br]In the middle, you know,

0:38:14.696,0:38:23.101
the big ordinary people in the middle there,[br]they are the best.

0:38:23.101,0:38:27.460
The people who’ve come in the top 5%[br]are a bit weird aren’t they?

0:38:27.460,0:38:29.700
The bottom 5%,[br]a bit weird..

0:38:29.700,0:38:32.300
No they’re not, whatever, well done,[br]you worked really hard.

0:38:32.300,0:38:36.000
If you've got all those good marks well done,[br]enjoy it, you deserve it.

0:38:36.000,0:38:39.700
If you haven't got those good marks,[br]well done,

0:38:39.700,0:38:44.000
sort of more shit for your garden.[br][laughter]

0:38:44.000,0:38:46.410
Embrace everything.

0:38:46.410,0:38:50.600
So when we say it’s mistakes of course[br]that is where the problem comes.

0:38:50.600,0:38:54.100
Guilt, fear,[br]“I don't want to make the mistake again”,

0:38:54.100,0:38:57.100
makes you tense which means[br]you can't perform well.

0:38:57.100,0:39:05.400
So the real calm I'm talking about is[br]understanding it's not what you're experiencing,

0:39:05.400,0:39:08.600
the difficulties, the problems,[br]the happiness, the joy,

0:39:08.600,0:39:13.000
whatever you're experiencing in life,[br]it's how you're experiencing it,

0:39:13.000,0:39:18.500
that is the source of karma,[br]that is where karma lives.

0:39:18.500,0:39:23.300
So you're going through a divorce,[br]that's part of life, it happens,

0:39:23.300,0:39:27.400
how are you going through that divorce,[br]how are you doing this?

0:39:27.400,0:39:32.500
With anger, with guilt,[br]thinking this is a big mistake in life,

0:39:32.500,0:39:38.900
no no it's just, this is part of life,[br]it's part of your life..

0:39:38.900,0:39:43.000
By being sick,[br]there's nothing wrong with this,

0:39:43.000,0:39:47.000
it happens, learn from it, grow from it,[br]become better but don't get

0:39:47.000,0:39:50.700
into guilt and anger,[br]that is the bad karma.

0:39:50.700,0:39:53.400
[br]You're going through[br]another problem in life,

0:39:53.400,0:39:59.000
you're getting a cancer or[br]you have some death in the family,

0:39:59.000,0:40:02.900
that's not bad karma[br]but if you really get into solid grief

0:40:02.900,0:40:06.600
about this, into denial, into anger,[br]“why did this happen”,

0:40:06.600,0:40:09.100
looking for somebody to blame,[br]blaming yourself,

0:40:09.100,0:40:13.300
“I should have looked after my mum,[br]maybe I should've gone and called a doctor earlier”,

0:40:13.300,0:40:15.400
that sort of stuff,[br]that's bad karma.

0:40:15.400,0:40:22.600
It's the way you relate to life,[br]not life itself.

0:40:22.600,0:40:27.100
Because the way life happens,[br]you just have to do a survey,

0:40:27.100,0:40:32.200
you know, people die.[br]Is there anything wrong with dying?

0:40:32.200,0:40:40.600
Is there anything wrong with cancer?[br]It’s part of life, we accept, embrace.

0:40:40.600,0:40:45.400
If it hurts, shit,[br]we're going to make something out of this.

0:40:45.400,0:40:49.500
If you're having a great time, wonderful,[br]we enjoy it.

0:40:49.500,0:40:56.500
But guilt, anger, denial, blaming,[br]especially blaming ourselves,

0:40:56.500,0:41:00.400
that is a problem,[br]that is the bad karma,

0:41:00.400,0:41:03.800
that is a cause for most of[br]the misery in this life.

0:41:03.800,0:41:09.000
Look, when you think it's bad,[br]that's why people don't get checked up in time,

0:41:09.000,0:41:12.900
because they're afraid, they think it's bad,[br]it's terrible,

0:41:12.900,0:41:17.200
that's why people just get so into denial[br]when someone's close to death,

0:41:17.200,0:41:22.500
we think “no no they can't die,[br]they're too young to die,

0:41:22.500,0:41:27.000
they're only 90!”[br][laughter]

0:41:27.000,0:41:29.700
[br]I collect all these quotes.[br]There’s this quote of a person

0:41:29.700,0:41:33.100
who was 90 years of age,[br]never had much sickness in their life,

0:41:33.100,0:41:34.100
in the United States.

0:41:34.100,0:41:36.400
I mean these are the quotes[br]which I always collect,

0:41:36.400,0:41:40.200
one of the healthiest people you could imagine,[br]they went to have a check-up when

0:41:40.200,0:41:43.200
they were in their early 90s,[br]they discovered a tumor,

0:41:43.200,0:41:49.300
and they came out of the hospital saying[br]“why me?” [laughter]

0:41:49.300,0:41:52.400
90 years of age![br]You got away with it and now you say

0:41:52.400,0:41:55.400
“why me?”[br]But that's actually what we'd all say,

0:41:55.400,0:41:56.700
isn't it, if we don't really understand[br]the law of Karma.

0:41:56.700,0:42:04.000
The law of karma is happening right now,[br]you are making your future, right now,

0:42:04.000,0:42:10.400
by the attitude you have to[br]what's happening in your life.

0:42:10.400,0:42:12.000
You say this is wrong,

0:42:12.000,0:42:13.600
there’s something wrong with me,[br]I'm sick.

0:42:13.600,0:42:17.000
There’s something wrong with me,[br]the relationship is not working out,

0:42:17.000,0:42:20.600
there’s something wrong with me,[br]my career is not going well.

0:42:20.600,0:42:26.600
That is the bad karma there,[br]the attitude you have to what happens in life.

0:42:26.600,0:42:30.100
The good karma,[br]“yeah this is happening,

0:42:30.100,0:42:32.000
now how can I learn with this,[br]how can I deal with this,

0:42:32.000,0:42:33.100
let's make something out of this.”

0:42:33.100,0:42:38.500
It's like a very simple saying which when I read it,[br]I think as a student,

0:42:38.500,0:42:42.400
it’s an old Chinese saying,[br]I wrote it down and I remembered this

0:42:42.400,0:42:47.000
for the rest of my life,[br]the old Chinese saying

0:42:47.000,0:42:52.000
“it's better to light a candle[br]than complain about darkness”.

0:42:52.000,0:42:56.200
It's a very beautiful,[br]very simple saying which encapsulates

0:42:56.200,0:42:57.900
all which I've taught this evening.

0:42:57.900,0:43:02.900
It's better to light a candle[br]than complain about darkness.

0:43:02.900,0:43:07.200
So whatever you want to complain about[br]in life: your husband,

0:43:07.200,0:43:10.300
your wife, your kids,[br]your mother-in-law,

0:43:10.300,0:43:11.600
people actually do point this out,

0:43:11.600,0:43:13.000
your father-in-law,[br]I can't be sexist anymore,

0:43:13.000,0:43:14.200
not just mothers-in-law,[br]fathers-in-law,

0:43:14.200,0:43:22.000
monks, nuns, whatever it is,[br]instead of complaining,

0:43:22.000,0:43:28.300
light a candle and that's amazing thing,[br]there's always many candles around to light,

0:43:28.300,0:43:32.300
there's always something you can do,[br]something positive,

0:43:32.300,0:43:35.300
and sometimes just embracing and learning.

0:43:35.300,0:43:38.600
[br]Sometimes people ask you[br]what is the meaning of life?

0:43:38.600,0:43:44.600
Such a simple answer to a very deep question:[br]it's learning, it’s growing.

0:43:44.600,0:43:54.800
Life is work in progress.[br]Your life, your progress, how are you growing?

0:43:54.800,0:44:02.000
I don't mean just growing in size[br]or in your bank account or whatever,

0:44:02.000,0:44:09.000
I'm growing in size, [laughter][br]but I have to grow in size to accommodate

0:44:09.000,0:44:16.000
my heart which is growing and growing[br]and growing, [laughter], the compassion.

0:44:16.000,0:44:19.700
So now I’m talking about you growing[br]your wisdom, you growing your compassion,

0:44:19.700,0:44:22.200
you’re growing your understanding of life,[br]and of course that is the meaning of life.

0:44:22.200,0:44:26.900
And I think you don't need to believe that,[br]you understand that.

0:44:26.900,0:44:32.700
[br]So in the past year how much have you learnt?[br]How much have you grown?

0:44:32.700,0:44:36.400
How much a wiser,[br]kinder person have you become?

0:44:36.400,0:44:42.000
That's the meaning of life.[br]So how do you become wise,

0:44:42.000,0:44:45.500
how do you become kind,[br]how do you understand things?

0:44:45.500,0:44:49.400
Right now is where you do this.

0:44:49.400,0:44:55.400
This is where you build the happiness,[br]even the health,

0:44:55.400,0:44:59.400
and the compassion,[br]the wisdom and everything in life,

0:44:59.400,0:45:05.300
this is where karma is made,[br]right now.

0:45:05.300,0:45:09.000
And understanding that you don't only know[br]the meaning of life,

0:45:09.000,0:45:14.200
you know the secret of life,[br]where it's hidden.

0:45:14.200,0:45:19.000
[br]People look for the secret of life[br]in the future with all your plans and

0:45:19.000,0:45:22.200
expectations and what you're going to[br]achieve next, where you're going to go,

0:45:22.200,0:45:24.800
you look for the secret there,[br]you never find anything.

0:45:24.800,0:45:30.000
You look for the secret in the past,[br]searching over all the things which have

0:45:30.000,0:45:35.200
ever happened to try to find meaning[br]from the mistakes of the past -

0:45:35.200,0:45:39.400
you never find anything except just[br]anger and guilt and negativity.

0:45:39.400,0:45:46.500
[br]You only find the meaning of life right now,[br]this is where the secret is.

0:45:46.500,0:45:51.600
The secret is not a book,[br]the secret is in this moment here,

0:45:51.600,0:45:52.900
absolutely for free.

0:45:52.900,0:45:59.700
I remember this Zen teacher,[br]she wrote this book and I love the cover,

0:45:59.700,0:46:03.500
the title of the book, she called it[br]“Selling Water by the River” [laughter].

0:46:03.500,0:46:08.000
It's a very beautiful title[br]“selling water by the river”.

0:46:08.000,0:46:13.000
I think it's an old Zen story.[br]It's stupid isn’t it?

0:46:13.000,0:46:16.100
You know, it's a river there,[br]get your own water, but still, you know,

0:46:16.100,0:46:20.000
sharp people: “Do you want some water?[br]You want some water?”

0:46:20.000,0:46:24.000
That's why we don't sell anything here[br]because I feel terrible selling things,

0:46:24.000,0:46:25.700
because it’s all for free, it’s right here,[br]right now, available for you.

0:46:25.700,0:46:31.000
Truth is like the air,[br]no one could own it.

0:46:31.000,0:46:34.800
Not Buddhism,[br]not Christianity,

0:46:34.800,0:46:37.500
not Islam,[br]not philosophy,

0:46:37.500,0:46:40.000
not atheism,[br]no one can own the air.

0:46:40.000,0:46:44.800
We all share it.[br]You can pollute the air,

0:46:44.800,0:46:50.000
and people can pollute truth,[br]but still there's enough truth out there,

0:46:50.000,0:46:53.600
just needs to be breathed in,[br]it's right there,

0:46:53.600,0:46:57.600
in front of your nose,[br]the truth of now.

0:46:57.600,0:47:00.500
That is how I understand karma.

0:47:00.500,0:47:04.600
So thank you for listening to this talk.

0:47:04.600,0:47:13.300
Now all those people in the far reaches of[br]the universe, any questions please SMS them.

0:47:13.300,0:47:19.200
But first of all our local crowd,[br]is there any questions about the talk this evening?

0:47:19.200,0:47:27.800
Okay we're going to get some questions[br]from the Internet, from Ian Ternet.

0:47:27.800,0:47:33.000
Okay, and we can see where this is from.[br]That’s why I finished a bit earlier

0:47:33.000,0:47:37.000
so we can get the international questions[br]and also from you guys as well.

0:47:37.000,0:47:39.800
Denis Shephard: Okay if there's anybody[br]here who’d like to ask a question,

0:47:39.800,0:47:43.200
certainly encourage you to do that,[br]but if you wouldn't mind just to wait for

0:47:43.200,0:47:47.000
the roving microphone that'll come to you,[br]but if you just put your hand up,

0:47:47.000,0:47:50.200
if you've got a question and we'll come[br]to you with the microphone and then

0:47:50.200,0:47:50.700
everything will run seamlessly.

0:47:50.700,0:47:54.600
Ajahn Brahm, Agnes from Dubai has asked[br]how do you motivate people who have no will to live?

0:47:54.600,0:48:03.000
Ajan Brahm: How do you motivate people[br]who have no will to live?

0:48:03.000,0:48:10.200
Well look, if you want to teach them about[br]reincarnation, so like you live here,

0:48:10.200,0:48:12.700
if you die here you[br]just get reborn again anyway,

0:48:12.700,0:48:19.000
so you can't get out of life that easy..[br][laughter]

0:48:19.000,0:48:23.800
So if there was an easy way[br]I'd have taken it years ago. [laughter]

0:48:23.800,0:48:30.000
So here you are,[br]instead of having the will to live,

0:48:30.000,0:48:36.000
just having the will to[br]be compassionate, to be kind.

0:48:36.000,0:48:40.700
So if you could actually state about life and say..[br]because will to live is

0:48:40.700,0:48:43.900
the fear of the future and[br]they’ve just had enough,

0:48:43.900,0:48:49.300
and they can't see any positivity or any hope,[br]and hopefully the talk which I've given

0:48:49.300,0:48:54.200
this evening was actually saying there's[br]nothing wrong with life.

0:48:54.200,0:48:58.200
Life has always been like this,[br]you know, if you read history,

0:48:58.200,0:49:02.000
it's always been pretty much the same.

0:49:02.000,0:49:06.000
You know, years ago I hadn’t read a newspaper[br]for a couple of years when I was in Thailand,

0:49:06.000,0:49:09.000
actually longer than that, about four or[br]five years I hadn't seen any newspaper.

0:49:09.000,0:49:12.300
When I saw my first newspaper after[br]four or five years break,

0:49:12.300,0:49:15.000
I realised all the stories were exactly the same.

0:49:15.000,0:49:19.500
They just changed the names of the countries,[br]the names of the people,

0:49:19.500,0:49:26.000
but the storylines were always the same -[br]violence, wars, sex, corruption, exactly the same.

0:49:26.000,0:49:30.900
So the world does never change,[br]it’s just people's attitudes.

0:49:30.900,0:49:36.500
So see if we can change our attitude[br]towards our life and then

0:49:36.500,0:49:44.000
we can find it very rich.[br]It's so rich we never really want to give it away.

0:49:44.000,0:49:49.700
So I don't know if that answers[br]your question in Dubai, but you know,

0:49:49.700,0:49:55.000
certainly that the will to live[br]is actually the will to be kind.

0:49:55.000,0:50:00.000
Sometimes they ask, what actually motivates[br]you Ajahn Brahm, and it’s just..

0:50:00.000,0:50:05.000
Actually there’s hardly any motivation[br]there at all, it’s just ‘being’.

0:50:05.000,0:50:09.500
Because the will to live,[br]you know, what do you mean “the will to live”,

0:50:09.500,0:50:13.400
just take away the will to live,[br]the will to die,

0:50:13.400,0:50:15.500
the will to go anywhere and just be.

0:50:15.500,0:50:22.000
It's much more fun when you don't have any plans.[br]Anyway, hopefully that makes some sense.

0:50:22.000,0:50:28.000
[br]Denis: Thank you Ajahn Brahm[br]I hope that satisfies Agnes.

0:50:28.000,0:50:34.000
And Reinbart from Germany,[br]this is a little bit of a curly one for

0:50:34.000,0:50:40.000
you Ajahn and a bit off the topic but[br]how can animals improve their kamma?

0:50:40.000,0:50:46.000
[br]Ajahn: How can animals improve their karma,[br]there's one of my friends over in Melbourne,

0:50:46.000,0:50:50.100
now that's Priya Mendes [?] and she’s got[br]this big dog and it was Labrador wasn’t it,

0:50:50.100,0:50:59.300
and when I saw it, I said “what's its name”[br]and she gave it the name, she's a doctor,

0:50:59.300,0:51:03.000
she gave it the name “Chemo”.[br]Chemo the dog,

0:51:03.000,0:51:05.200
that's a really weird name,[br]why do you name it Chemo?

0:51:05.200,0:51:11.100
She said “because I'm training this dog to[br]be one of these dogs who goes into wards

0:51:11.100,0:51:17.000
with people who are very, very sick,[br]because we all know that if you take a

0:51:17.000,0:51:22.100
little dog or a cat or a rabbit into a[br]ward where people are very sick,

0:51:22.100,0:51:27.300
just being able to pet that dog, to stroke it,[br]have this beautiful soft animal in there,

0:51:27.300,0:51:32.400
the compassion which a small animal or[br]even a big animal generates amongst

0:51:32.400,0:51:38.400
human beings has a very strong positive[br]effect on people's recovery.

0:51:38.400,0:51:41.200
They actually get better.

0:51:41.200,0:51:46.000
Having a beautiful dog to play with in the ward,[br]it makes you sort of, gets up all your,

0:51:46.000,0:51:49.600
what's it called, the, not serotonin,[br]all these endomorphines,

0:51:49.600,0:51:53.200
all this beautiful health things in your body,[br]you all know better than I do...

0:51:53.200,0:51:57.000
but you know it really works.

0:51:57.000,0:52:00.700
So that's why she called her dog Chemo[br]because it was short for chemotherapy,

0:52:00.700,0:52:06.100
that was a little joke,[br]she's a good student of mine,

0:52:06.100,0:52:10.000
has got a stupid sense[br]of humor just like me. [laughter]

0:52:10.000,0:52:13.300
So Chemo, Chemo the dog,[br]and of course that dog went into so many

0:52:13.300,0:52:15.600
wards in its life,[br]healing people,

0:52:15.600,0:52:18.900
helping people,[br]that dog must have made huge amounts of

0:52:18.900,0:52:23.700
good karma just by generating compassion[br]in other beings.

0:52:23.700,0:52:32.300
So that is how animals made good kamma,[br]they can be just so kind and

0:52:32.300,0:52:35.400
so loving and so trusting,[br]these beautiful qualities,

0:52:35.400,0:52:41.900
and you see that in the little dog or in[br]a cat and they remind you how to be kind.

0:52:41.900,0:52:47.100
The dog never gets angry at you or upset at you.[br]Usually. [laughter]

0:52:47.100,0:52:54.000
And why is it you have a dog and they're[br]just so nice,

0:52:54.000,0:53:01.000
and you get a wife, [laughter][br]there's so much trouble.

0:53:01.000,0:53:07.100
I said that because I said husbands before[br]so now it’s wives.

0:53:07.100,0:53:15.100
Why can't human beings be much more like[br]animals in that sense, totally trusting.

0:53:15.100,0:53:20.000
Your dog, your cat, trusts you 100%[br]and it's so forgiving of you.

0:53:20.000,0:53:24.300
Now if you miss a meal or something,[br]yeah the dog would be a bit upset but he

0:53:24.300,0:53:29.600
will forgive you and still will come and[br]sit on your lap afterwards.

0:53:29.600,0:53:35.200
Now, can your wife or your husband do that?[br]Wouldn’t it be wonderful if that was it.

0:53:35.200,0:53:43.000
So that's how animals can make really good karma,[br]teaching about kindness, about love, about trust.

0:53:43.000,0:53:50.300
And I used to teach people in Thailand,[br]I said “look, at least dogs they keep

0:53:50.300,0:53:56.100
three of the five precepts, they keep three.”

0:53:56.100,0:54:02.000
Dogs don't usually kill, stealing, no no,[br]adultery no no, they can't stop themselves [laughter].

0:54:02.000,0:54:07.000
But have you ever seen a dog lie?

0:54:07.000,0:54:12.000
And have you ever seen a dog drink alcohol?[br][laughter]

0:54:12.000,0:54:17.000
So I said at least dogs keep three precepts.

0:54:17.000,0:54:22.000
There's some human beings who can't keep[br]any of the five precepts!

0:54:22.000,0:54:27.000
So you see the dogs can actually make[br]much better good karma than many other people.

0:54:27.000,0:54:32.000
[laughs] So I've never seen a dog lie,[br]I’ve never seen a dog get drunk and

0:54:32.000,0:54:35.350
dogs don’t kill things.

0:54:35.350,0:54:41.250
So dogs keep some precepts,[br]so they can make good karma.

0:54:41.250,0:54:45.000
And also have you ever seen dogs meditating, or cats?[br]Sometimes they sit next to you and

0:54:45.000,0:54:52.500
they're incredibly peaceful.[br]And some of those cats,

0:54:52.500,0:54:58.000
they could sit for hours and hours and hours[br]and hours, much longer than you can,

0:54:58.000,0:55:03.000
so maybe those cats are closer to[br]enlightenment than we really think. [laughter]

0:55:03.000,0:55:08.000
Okay carry on, before I get into more trouble.

0:55:08.000,0:55:11.100
[br]Dennis: Thank you Ajahn Brahm,[br]now Sati from Boulder Colorado

0:55:11.100,0:55:18.000
asks what are some basic[br]daily practices a layperson should do?

0:55:18.000,0:55:23.500
Ajahn: A daily practice is start now![br]So yeah just be kind, be compassionate.

0:55:23.500,0:55:27.500
It doesn't matter what you do,[br]how you do it is really important.

0:55:27.500,0:55:32.800
So you may be just driving to work in the morning,[br]how are you driving to work?

0:55:32.800,0:55:37.500
Are you listening to the radio and[br]getting yourself all upset?

0:55:37.500,0:55:41.600
When you’re on the way to work[br]is your mind already at work?

0:55:41.600,0:55:48.300
A daily practice when you drive to work is[br]every time you get to the stop sign,

0:55:48.300,0:55:50.200
remember that's the Buddha teaching you.

0:55:50.200,0:55:58.100
Stop, be peaceful,[br]come into the present moment, be here.

0:55:58.100,0:56:05.000
So all the stop signs which you see around[br]the cities of the world, that is the Dhamma,

0:56:05.000,0:56:12.300
that is the teaching reminding you -[br]stop and be here rather than

0:56:12.300,0:56:16.100
always moving moving moving.[br]So that's one of the nice daily practices.

0:56:16.100,0:56:20.000
And the other daily practice -[br]Emperor’s Three Questions -

0:56:20.000,0:56:22.900
now is always the most important time,

0:56:22.900,0:56:25.300
the person in front of you is always[br]the most important person.

0:56:25.300,0:56:30.500
So in Boulder Colorado,[br]the person right in front of you right now

0:56:30.500,0:56:34.100
and every moment of your life,[br]give them importance.

0:56:34.100,0:56:39.000
And the only thing to do is to care.

0:56:39.000,0:56:42.900
The Emperor’s Three Questions -[br]that's all you really need to know about life.

0:56:42.900,0:56:46.000
Now is the most important time,

0:56:46.000,0:56:47.500
the one you're with is[br]the most important person,

0:56:47.500,0:56:50.500
and the only thing to do in life[br]is to care.

0:56:50.500,0:56:55.900
[br]Doesn't matter what you're doing,[br]working at home by yourself,

0:56:55.900,0:56:59.000
if you’re by yourself,[br]you are the most important person because

0:56:59.000,0:56:59.800
that's the one you're with.

0:56:59.800,0:57:03.700
Caring for yourself and caring for others[br]and caring for life,

0:57:03.700,0:57:10.300
that's all we really need,[br]that is your daily practice.

0:57:10.300,0:57:15.500
You can say I'll just sit meditating[br]for half an hour, to do chanting,

0:57:15.500,0:57:21.000
to do charity work for half an hour,[br]that doesn't really sort of cut much ice.

0:57:21.000,0:57:24.900
The thing to do… is that right “cut much ice”?[br]I don't know, but it doesn't really work.

0:57:24.900,0:57:27.400
What really does work is developing the

0:57:27.400,0:57:31.700
right attitude to whatever you have to do[br]in life, that should be your daily practice,

0:57:31.700,0:57:35.400
developing the right attitude to[br]whatever you have to do. Okay.

0:57:35.400,0:57:42.000
[br]Dennis: So is there any further questions[br]from the room here?

0:57:42.000,0:57:48.300
[br]Ajahn: Okay where are you from? [laughter][br]We’ve already got from Boulder,

0:57:48.300,0:57:54.000
we've got from Dubai and we got from Germany,[br]and this is Eddie from Willetton. [laughter]

0:57:54.000,0:58:00.000
Eddie: Shelley.

0:58:00.000,0:58:06.000
Ajahn: Oh Shelley, close enough,[br]Shelley is a suburb of Perth.

0:58:06.000,0:58:10.400
[br]Eddie: Ajahn Brahm you know this karma,[br]it could be like God's judgment,

0:58:10.400,0:58:14.400
you can call it too..[br]you see there's a tendency for people when

0:58:14.400,0:58:19.000
there's problem to blame it on,[br]when there's no way,

0:58:19.000,0:58:21.900
like they can’t think of anything,[br]they blame it on karma...

0:58:21.900,0:58:27.000
But there are certain instances..[br]yourself okay,

0:58:27.000,0:58:31.600
it's a personal thing, you can link it.

0:58:31.600,0:58:36.000
Could it be that I've done this,[br]something wrong in my earlier life?

0:58:36.000,0:58:39.900
You only yourself would know,[br]but most people

0:58:39.900,0:58:44.000
“oh punishment by God[br]this thing or my karma”,

0:58:44.000,0:58:48.000
it’s easy to blame on that isn’t it?

0:58:48.000,0:58:52.000
But in certain instances[br]only you will know that you can link it,

0:58:52.000,0:58:56.000
could it be that,[br]and that’s also a learning process.

0:58:56.000,0:58:56.500
Ajahn: It's always a learning process;

0:58:56.500,0:59:02.000
the word which really[br]rankles with me is punishment.

0:59:02.000,0:59:06.800
If there ever was a God[br]they wouldn't punish anybody.

0:59:06.800,0:59:10.300
High beings would never punish anybody.

0:59:10.300,0:59:13.800
Why? Because high beings have just got[br]love and compassion.

0:59:13.800,0:59:21.600
Love and compassion forgives,[br]it would never be able to punish anybody.

0:59:21.600,0:59:27.900
It's really hard for me sometimes as an abbot,[br]I just can't get my head around punishing anybody,

0:59:27.900,0:59:32.500
so I'm pretty slack sometimes and I shouldn't be,[br]“you’re stupid, get out”,

0:59:32.500,0:59:36.000
you just can't do it.

0:59:36.000,0:59:38.500
And I'm not sort of God but you know,[br]a high being there's no way

0:59:38.500,0:59:42.100
you could ever punish anybody, impossible.

0:59:42.100,0:59:46.000
The whole idea of punishment[br]goes against compassion,

0:59:46.000,0:59:49.800
it is antithetic towards[br]compassion and kindness.

0:59:49.800,0:59:56.100
It's love which teaches people,[br]forgiveness which makes them grow.

0:59:56.100,1:00:00.600
Punishment creates fear,[br]hides the problem,

1:00:00.600,1:00:06.200
people never admit to what they've done,[br]they deny anything which has happened,

1:00:06.200,1:00:11.800
they spin, they just don't admit to the truth.[br]Fear of punishment.

1:00:11.800,1:00:19.200
And there is never any truth.[br]Punishment actually hides the truth.

1:00:19.200,1:00:25.500
Forgiveness brings the truth up[br]so we can understand it and learn from it.

1:00:25.500,1:00:31.000
So that's why even it may be connected[br]to something you've done in the past but

1:00:31.000,1:00:37.000
it's not punishment for what you've done in the past,[br]it’s just cause and effect.

1:00:37.000,1:00:40.600
Yeah, this has led to this, so it means[br]there's still things you have to learn.

1:00:40.600,1:00:43.100
You still need some more shit in your garden,

1:00:43.100,1:00:49.000
that's why you get another delivery.[br][laughter]

1:00:49.000,1:00:53.100
[br]So that's actually how I understand it,[br]but please the main point is,

1:00:53.100,1:00:55.100
think about it,[br]if you’re really kind,

1:00:55.100,1:00:58.100
if you’ve really got compassion,[br]how can you punish anybody?

1:00:58.100,1:01:00.800
And it does not work.

1:01:00.800,1:01:03.800
Ask any psychologist,[br]someone's made a mistake,

1:01:03.800,1:01:08.100
I've made a mistake,[br]I just want someone to understand me.

1:01:08.100,1:01:13.000
I was trying, please believe in me,[br]trust in me, I'm trying, I made a mistake okay.

1:01:13.000,1:01:18.000
When somebody comes and believes in me[br]and they trust me,

1:01:18.000,1:01:20.400
and say “never mind”, you notice.

1:01:20.400,1:01:22.400
“I'm behind you,[br]I'm there to support you,

1:01:22.400,1:01:26.100
other people might sort of[br]put you down and criticize you, but not me”,

1:01:26.100,1:01:32.500
and you feel just at last somebody[br]understands and that makes you try even

1:01:32.500,1:01:34.300
harder to be better.

1:01:34.300,1:01:40.100
You actually do grow from forgiveness.[br]Try it and see, forgive your kids,

1:01:40.100,1:01:44.100
forgive your partner in life,[br]no matter what they've done.

1:01:44.100,1:01:51.300
They will grow, as you would hope to be[br]forgiven by the people who love you.

1:01:51.300,1:01:57.800
That's what we have lovers for.[br]A lover is someone who understands us

1:01:57.800,1:02:02.200
very deeply and profoundly,[br]understands us enough

1:02:02.200,1:02:04.400
to know the importance of forgiveness.

1:02:04.400,1:02:12.000
So there’s somebody I can go to,[br]who loves me so much that whatever I've done

1:02:12.000,1:02:15.500
the door to their heart[br]is always open to me.

1:02:15.500,1:02:21.200
I had a father like that,[br]that's why I loved him so much,

1:02:21.200,1:02:24.000
that's why I, hopefully,[br]became a really good person because

1:02:24.000,1:02:27.000
he trusted me[br]hundred and fifty thousand million percent.

1:02:27.000,1:02:30.000
Okay..[br]