[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.76,0:00:05.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're looking at a woman\Nwho was publicly silent for a decade.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:06.71,0:00:08.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Obviously, that's changed,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.97,0:00:10.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but only recently.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.05,0:00:12.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was several months ago
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.63,0:00:15.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I gave my very first\Nmajor public talk
Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.60,0:00:18.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at the Forbes 30 Under 30 summit:
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.22,0:00:22.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,1,500 brilliant people,\Nall under the age of 30.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.10,0:00:25.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That meant that in 1998,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.86,0:00:29.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the oldest among the group were only 14,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.45,0:00:32.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the youngest, just four.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.04,0:00:36.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I joked with them that some\Nmight only have heard of me
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.63,0:00:38.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from rap songs.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.58,0:00:41.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, I'm in rap songs.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:41.73,0:00:45.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Almost 40 rap songs. (Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.61,0:00:50.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the night of my speech,\Na surprising thing happened.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.11,0:00:56.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At the age of 41, I was hit on\Nby a 27-year-old guy.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.16,0:00:59.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.30,0:01:02.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He was charming and I was flattered,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.91,0:01:04.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I declined.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.39,0:01:08.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know what his\Nunsuccessful pickup line was?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.14,0:01:12.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He could make me feel 22 again.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.46,0:01:17.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter) (Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.64,0:01:23.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I realized later that night,\NI'm probably the only person over 40
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.91,0:01:26.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who does not want to be 22 again.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.51,0:01:29.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:29.11,0:01:32.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.27,0:01:40.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At the age of 22,\NI fell in love with my boss,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.29,0:01:43.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and at the age of 24,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.12,0:01:46.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I learned the devastating consequences.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.67,0:01:50.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Can I see a show of hands of anyone here
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.85,0:01:55.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who didn't make a mistake\Nor do something they regretted at 22?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.15,0:01:59.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yep. That's what I thought.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.65,0:02:06.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So like me, at 22, a few of you\Nmay have also taken wrong turns
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.43,0:02:09.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and fallen in love with the wrong person,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:09.47,0:02:11.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,maybe even your boss.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.38,0:02:14.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Unlike me, though, your boss
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.97,0:02:19.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,probably wasn't the president\Nof the United States of America.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.80,0:02:24.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Of course, life is full of surprises.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.10,0:02:29.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not a day goes by that I'm not\Nreminded of my mistake,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.02,0:02:31.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I regret that mistake deeply.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.40,0:02:40.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In 1998, after having been swept up\Ninto an improbable romance,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.03,0:02:45.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was then swept up into the eye\Nof a political, legal and media maelstrom
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.49,0:02:49.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like we had never seen before.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.54,0:02:51.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Remember, just a few years earlier,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.88,0:02:54.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,news was consumed from just three places:
Dialogue: 0,0:02:54.88,0:02:57.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,reading a newspaper or magazine,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.55,0:02:59.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,listening to the radio,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.39,0:03:01.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or watching television.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.00,0:03:02.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That was it.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:02.30,0:03:06.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But that wasn't my fate.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.26,0:03:09.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Instead, this scandal was brought to you
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.88,0:03:12.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by the digital revolution.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:12.28,0:03:15.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That meant we could access\Nall the information we wanted,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.99,0:03:20.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when we wanted it, anytime, anywhere,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.28,0:03:24.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when the story broke in January 1998,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.97,0:03:27.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it broke online.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.76,0:03:30.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was the first time the traditional news
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.76,0:03:35.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was usurped by the Internet\Nfor a major news story,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.28,0:03:39.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a click that reverberated\Naround the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.48,0:03:42.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What that meant for me personally
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.92,0:03:48.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was that overnight I went\Nfrom being a completely private figure
Dialogue: 0,0:03:48.04,0:03:53.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to a publicly humiliated one worldwide.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:53.49,0:03:57.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was patient zero\Nof losing a personal reputation
Dialogue: 0,0:03:57.78,0:04:02.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on a global scale almost instantaneously.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.59,0:04:05.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This rush to judgment,\Nenabled by technology,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.93,0:04:10.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,led to mobs of virtual stone-throwers.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:10.04,0:04:13.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Granted, it was before social media,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.10,0:04:16.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but people could still comment online,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:16.65,0:04:22.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,email stories, and, of course,\Nemail cruel jokes.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:22.88,0:04:25.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,News sources plastered\Nphotos of me all over
Dialogue: 0,0:04:25.97,0:04:29.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to sell newspapers, banner ads online,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:29.75,0:04:32.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and to keep people tuned to the TV.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:33.91,0:04:37.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you recall a particular image of me,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:37.46,0:04:39.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,say, wearing a beret?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:41.22,0:04:44.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, I admit I made mistakes,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.22,0:04:47.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,especially wearing that beret.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.27,0:04:52.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the attention and judgment\Nthat I received, not the story,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:52.56,0:04:56.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but that I personally received,\Nwas unprecedented.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.92,0:05:00.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was branded as a tramp,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:00.08,0:05:06.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tart, slut, whore, bimbo,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:06.63,0:05:09.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and, of course, that woman.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:10.46,0:05:13.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was seen by many
Dialogue: 0,0:05:13.22,0:05:16.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but actually known by few.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.61,0:05:20.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I get it: it was easy to forget
Dialogue: 0,0:05:20.19,0:05:22.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that that woman was dimensional,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:22.79,0:05:26.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,had a soul, and was once unbroken.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:29.50,0:05:34.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When this happened to me 17 years ago,\Nthere was no name for it.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.40,0:05:38.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now we call it cyberbullying\Nand online harassment.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.42,0:05:43.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Today, I want to share\Nsome of my experience with you,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:43.92,0:05:48.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,talk about how that experience has helped\Nshape my cultural observations,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:48.35,0:05:53.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and how I hope my past experience\Ncan lead to a change that results
Dialogue: 0,0:05:53.20,0:05:55.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in less suffering for others.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:58.22,0:06:03.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In 1998, I lost my reputation\Nand my dignity.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:03.49,0:06:06.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I lost almost everything,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:06.99,0:06:10.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I almost lost my life.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:12.90,0:06:15.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let me paint a picture for you.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:17.32,0:06:20.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It is September of 1998.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:20.87,0:06:23.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm sitting in a windowless office room
Dialogue: 0,0:06:23.55,0:06:26.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,inside the Office\Nof the Independent Counsel
Dialogue: 0,0:06:26.62,0:06:31.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,underneath humming fluorescent lights.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:31.05,0:06:34.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm listening to the sound of my voice,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:34.88,0:06:38.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my voice on surreptitiously\Ntaped phone calls
Dialogue: 0,0:06:38.62,0:06:41.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that a supposed friend\Nhad made the year before.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:41.76,0:06:45.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm here because\NI've been legally required
Dialogue: 0,0:06:45.33,0:06:51.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to personally authenticate\Nall 20 hours of taped conversation.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:53.19,0:06:57.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For the past eight months,\Nthe mysterious content of these tapes
Dialogue: 0,0:06:57.18,0:07:01.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,has hung like the Sword\Nof Damocles over my head.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:01.13,0:07:05.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, who can remember\Nwhat they said a year ago?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:05.22,0:07:09.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Scared and mortified, I listen,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:11.01,0:07:15.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,listen as I prattle on\Nabout the flotsam and jetsam of the day;
Dialogue: 0,0:07:15.56,0:07:19.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,listen as I confess my love\Nfor the president,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:19.43,0:07:22.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and, of course, my heartbreak;
Dialogue: 0,0:07:22.80,0:07:27.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,listen to my sometimes catty,\Nsometimes churlish, sometimes silly self
Dialogue: 0,0:07:27.62,0:07:32.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,being cruel, unforgiving, uncouth;
Dialogue: 0,0:07:33.26,0:07:36.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,listen, deeply, deeply ashamed,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:36.12,0:07:38.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to the worst version of myself,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:38.80,0:07:42.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a self I don't even recognize.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:44.54,0:07:48.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A few days later, the Starr Report\Nis released to Congress,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:48.66,0:07:53.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and all of those tapes and transcripts,\Nthose stolen words, form a part of it.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:54.79,0:07:58.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That people can read the transcripts\Nis horrific enough,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:58.96,0:08:01.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but a few weeks later,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:01.71,0:08:05.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the audio tapes are aired on TV,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:05.00,0:08:08.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and significant portions\Nmade available online.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:10.66,0:08:15.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The public humiliation was excruciating.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:15.24,0:08:18.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Life was almost unbearable.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:20.94,0:08:26.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This was not something that happened\Nwith regularity back then in 1998,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:26.05,0:08:31.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and by this, I mean the stealing\Nof people's private words, actions,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:31.84,0:08:34.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,conversations or photos,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:34.46,0:08:37.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then making them public --
Dialogue: 0,0:08:37.04,0:08:39.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,public without consent,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:39.48,0:08:41.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,public without context,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:41.94,0:08:44.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and public without compassion.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:46.09,0:08:49.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Fast forward 12 years to 2010,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:49.18,0:08:52.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and now social media has been born.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:53.16,0:08:58.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The landscape has sadly become much\Nmore populated with instances like mine,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:58.19,0:09:01.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,whether or not someone\Nactually make a mistake,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:01.21,0:09:06.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and now it's for both public\Nand private people.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:06.92,0:09:11.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The consequences for some\Nhave become dire, very dire.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:13.80,0:09:16.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was on the phone with my mom
Dialogue: 0,0:09:16.35,0:09:19.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in September of 2010,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:19.06,0:09:20.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we were talking about the news
Dialogue: 0,0:09:20.92,0:09:23.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of a young college freshman\Nfrom Rutgers University
Dialogue: 0,0:09:23.71,0:09:25.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,named Tyler Clementi.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:26.66,0:09:29.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sweet, sensitive, creative Tyler
Dialogue: 0,0:09:29.80,0:09:32.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was secretly webcammed by his roommate
Dialogue: 0,0:09:32.18,0:09:34.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,while being intimate with another man.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:36.83,0:09:39.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When the online world\Nlearned of this incident,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:39.26,0:09:42.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the ridicule and cyberbullying ignited.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:44.08,0:09:45.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A few days later,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:45.100,0:09:49.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tyler jumped from \Nthe George Washington Bridge
Dialogue: 0,0:09:49.71,0:09:51.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to his death.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:51.25,0:09:53.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He was 18.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:55.64,0:10:00.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My mom was beside herself about\Nwhat happened to Tyler and his family,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:00.35,0:10:02.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and she was gutted with pain
Dialogue: 0,0:10:02.90,0:10:06.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in a way that I just couldn't\Nquite understand,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:06.57,0:10:08.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then eventually I realized
Dialogue: 0,0:10:08.94,0:10:11.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she was reliving 1998,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:11.92,0:10:15.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,reliving a time when she sat\Nby my bed every night,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:18.82,0:10:24.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,reliving a time when she made me shower\Nwith the bathroom door open,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:24.80,0:10:28.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and reliving a time\Nwhen both of my parents feared
Dialogue: 0,0:10:28.91,0:10:31.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I would be humiliated to death,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:31.86,0:10:34.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,literally.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:36.34,0:10:39.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Today, too many parents
Dialogue: 0,0:10:39.29,0:10:42.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,haven't had the chance to step in\Nand rescue their loved ones.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:42.63,0:10:46.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Too many have learned\Nof their child's suffering and humiliation
Dialogue: 0,0:10:46.81,0:10:49.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,after it was too late.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:49.94,0:10:54.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tyler's tragic, senseless death\Nwas a turning point for me.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:54.54,0:10:58.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It served to recontextualize\Nmy experiences,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:58.58,0:11:02.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I then began to look at the world\Nof humiliation and bullying around me
Dialogue: 0,0:11:02.88,0:11:06.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and see something different.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:06.36,0:11:11.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In 1998, we had no way of knowing\Nwhere this brave new technology
Dialogue: 0,0:11:11.58,0:11:14.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,called the Internet would take us.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:14.25,0:11:18.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Since then, it has connected people\Nin unimaginable ways,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:18.46,0:11:20.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,joining lost siblings,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:20.38,0:11:24.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,saving lives, launching revolutions,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:24.45,0:11:29.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but the darkness, cyberbullying,\Nand slut-shaming that I experienced
Dialogue: 0,0:11:29.30,0:11:31.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,had mushroomed.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:33.14,0:11:37.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Every day online, people,\Nespecially young people
Dialogue: 0,0:11:37.84,0:11:40.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who are not developmentally\Nequipped to handle this,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:40.77,0:11:43.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are so abused and humiliated
Dialogue: 0,0:11:43.30,0:11:45.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that they can't imagine living\Nto the next day,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:45.100,0:11:49.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and some, tragically, don't,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:49.14,0:11:51.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and there's nothing virtual about that.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:53.55,0:11:59.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ChildLine, a U.K. nonprofit that's focused\Non helping young people on various issues,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:59.63,0:12:03.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,released a staggering statistic\Nlate last year:
Dialogue: 0,0:12:03.31,0:12:06.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,From 2012 to 2013,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:06.93,0:12:10.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there was an 87 percent increase
Dialogue: 0,0:12:10.20,0:12:15.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in calls and emails related\Nto cyberbullying.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:15.08,0:12:17.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A meta-analysis done\Nout of the Netherlands
Dialogue: 0,0:12:17.26,0:12:19.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,showed that for the first time,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:19.26,0:12:24.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,cyberbullying was leading\Nto suicidal ideations
Dialogue: 0,0:12:24.30,0:12:28.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,more significantly than offline bullying.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:28.20,0:12:31.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you know what shocked me,\Nalthough it shouldn't have,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:31.96,0:12:35.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was other research last year\Nthat determined humiliation
Dialogue: 0,0:12:35.90,0:12:38.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was a more intensely felt emotion
Dialogue: 0,0:12:38.90,0:12:42.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than either happiness or even anger.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:44.30,0:12:47.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cruelty to others is nothing new,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:47.49,0:12:53.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but online, technologically\Nenhanced shaming is amplified,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:53.87,0:12:59.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,uncontained, and permanently accessible.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:59.19,0:13:04.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The echo of embarrassment used to extend\Nonly as far as your family, village,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:04.88,0:13:07.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,school or community,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:07.22,0:13:11.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but now it's the online community too.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:11.10,0:13:13.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Millions of people, often anonymously,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:13.94,0:13:17.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,can stab you with their words,\Nand that's a lot of pain,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:17.93,0:13:21.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and there are no perimeters\Naround how many people
Dialogue: 0,0:13:21.07,0:13:23.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,can publicly observe you
Dialogue: 0,0:13:23.16,0:13:26.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and put you in a public stockade.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:27.72,0:13:30.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There is a very personal price
Dialogue: 0,0:13:30.19,0:13:32.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to public humiliation,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:33.13,0:13:38.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the growth of the Internet\Nhas jacked up that price.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:39.84,0:13:42.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For nearly two decades now,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:42.27,0:13:46.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we have slowly been sowing the seeds\Nof shame and public humiliation
Dialogue: 0,0:13:46.39,0:13:52.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in our cultural soil,\Nboth on- and offline.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:52.21,0:13:57.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Gossip websites, paparazzi,\Nreality programming, politics,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:57.10,0:14:02.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,news outlets and sometimes hackers\Nall traffic in shame.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:02.94,0:14:07.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's led to desensitization\Nand a permissive environment online
Dialogue: 0,0:14:07.16,0:14:13.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which lends itself to trolling,\Ninvasion of privacy, and cyberbullying.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:13.52,0:14:17.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This shift has created\Nwhat Professor Nicolaus Mills calls
Dialogue: 0,0:14:17.31,0:14:21.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a culture of humiliation.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:21.09,0:14:26.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Consider a few prominent examples\Njust from the past six months alone.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:26.27,0:14:31.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Snapchat, the service which is used\Nmainly by younger generations
Dialogue: 0,0:14:31.35,0:14:34.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and claims that its messages\Nonly have the lifespan
Dialogue: 0,0:14:34.05,0:14:35.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of a few seconds.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:35.75,0:14:39.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can imagine the range\Nof content that that gets.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:39.16,0:14:43.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A third-party app which Snapchatters\Nuse to preserve the lifespan
Dialogue: 0,0:14:43.29,0:14:45.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of the messages was hacked,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:45.99,0:14:52.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and 100,000 personal conversations,\Nphotos, and videos were leaked online
Dialogue: 0,0:14:52.84,0:14:57.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to now have a lifespan of forever.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:57.10,0:15:01.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Jennifer Lawrence and several other actors\Nhad their iCloud accounts hacked,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:01.25,0:15:05.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and private, intimate, nude photos\Nwere plastered across the Internet
Dialogue: 0,0:15:05.20,0:15:07.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,without their permission.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:07.08,0:15:11.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One gossip website\Nhad over five million hits
Dialogue: 0,0:15:11.21,0:15:13.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for this one story.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:15.03,0:15:18.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And what about the Sony Pictures\Ncyberhacking?
Dialogue: 0,0:15:18.53,0:15:21.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The documents which received\Nthe most attention
Dialogue: 0,0:15:21.52,0:15:27.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,were private emails that had\Nmaximum public embarrassment value.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:27.56,0:15:30.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But in this culture of humiliation,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:30.81,0:15:34.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there is another kind of price tag\Nattached to public shaming.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:35.64,0:15:38.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The price does not measure\Nthe cost to the victim,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:38.80,0:15:41.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which Tyler and too many others,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:41.05,0:15:43.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,notably women, minorities,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:43.02,0:15:47.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and members of the LGBTQ\Ncommunity have paid,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:47.20,0:15:51.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but the price measures the profit\Nof those who prey on them.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:52.87,0:15:56.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This invasion of others is a raw material,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:56.93,0:16:02.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,efficiently and ruthlessly mined,\Npackaged and sold at a profit.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:02.92,0:16:08.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A marketplace has emerged\Nwhere public humiliation is a commodity
Dialogue: 0,0:16:08.70,0:16:12.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and shame is an industry.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:12.05,0:16:15.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How is the money made?
Dialogue: 0,0:16:15.74,0:16:17.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Clicks.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:17.57,0:16:20.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The more shame, the more clicks.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:20.10,0:16:23.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The more clicks,\Nthe more advertising dollars.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:25.43,0:16:27.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're in a dangerous cycle.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:27.63,0:16:30.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The more we click on this kind of gossip,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:30.56,0:16:34.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the more numb we get\Nto the human lives behind it,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:34.28,0:16:39.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the more numb we get,\Nthe more we click.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:39.74,0:16:42.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All the while, someone is making money
Dialogue: 0,0:16:42.66,0:16:45.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,off of the back \Nof someone else's suffering.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:46.87,0:16:49.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,With every click, we make a choice.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:49.67,0:16:53.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The more we saturate our culture\Nwith public shaming,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:53.09,0:16:54.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the more accepted it is,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:54.94,0:16:58.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the more we will see behavior\Nlike cyberbullying,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:58.15,0:17:00.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,trolling, some forms of hacking,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:00.80,0:17:03.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and online harassment.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:03.72,0:17:11.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why? Because they all have\Nhumiliation at their cores.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:11.43,0:17:15.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This behavior is a symptom\Nof the culture we've created.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:15.72,0:17:18.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just think about it.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:19.23,0:17:22.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Changing behavior begins\Nwith evolving beliefs.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:22.64,0:17:26.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We've seen that to be true\Nwith racism, homophobia,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:26.15,0:17:30.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and plenty of other biases,\Ntoday and in the past.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:30.91,0:17:34.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As we've changed beliefs\Nabout same-sex marriage,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:34.07,0:17:38.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,more people have been\Noffered equal freedoms.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:38.55,0:17:40.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When we began valuing sustainability,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:40.73,0:17:43.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,more people began to recycle.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:43.68,0:17:46.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So as far as our culture\Nof humiliation goes,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:46.96,0:17:50.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what we need is a cultural revolution.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:50.60,0:17:54.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Public shaming\Nas a blood sport has to stop,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:54.52,0:17:59.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it's time for an intervention\Non the Internet and in our culture.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:59.40,0:18:03.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The shift begins with something simple,\Nbut it's not easy.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:04.14,0:18:10.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We need to return to a long-held value\Nof compassion -- compassion and empathy.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:10.77,0:18:13.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Online, we've got a compassion deficit,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:13.96,0:18:16.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,an empathy crisis.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:17.09,0:18:20.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Researcher Brené Brown said, and I quote,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:20.100,0:18:24.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Shame can't survive empathy."
Dialogue: 0,0:18:24.57,0:18:29.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Shame cannot survive empathy.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:30.52,0:18:34.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've seen some very dark days in my life,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:34.14,0:18:40.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it was the compassion and empathy\Nfrom my family, friends, professionals,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:40.20,0:18:44.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and sometimes even strangers\Nthat saved me.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:45.58,0:18:49.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even empathy from one person\Ncan make a difference.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:50.32,0:18:52.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The theory of minority influence,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:52.99,0:18:56.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,proposed by social psychologist\NSerge Moscovici,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:56.20,0:18:58.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,says that even in small numbers,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:58.98,0:19:01.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when there's consistency over time,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:01.23,0:19:03.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,change can happen.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:03.83,0:19:07.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the online world,\Nwe can foster minority influence
Dialogue: 0,0:19:07.06,0:19:09.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by becoming upstanders.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:09.49,0:19:13.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To become an upstander means\Ninstead of bystander apathy,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:13.21,0:19:18.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we can post a positive comment for someone\Nor report a bullying situation.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:18.45,0:19:22.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Trust me, compassionate comments\Nhelp abate the negativity.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:23.38,0:19:27.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We can also counteract the culture\Nby supporting organizations
Dialogue: 0,0:19:27.19,0:19:29.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that deal with these kinds of issues,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:29.47,0:19:32.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like the Tyler Clementi\NFoundation in the U.S.,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:32.28,0:19:35.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the U.K., there's Anti-Bullying Pro,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:35.09,0:19:38.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and in Australia, there's Project Rockit.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:40.35,0:19:46.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We talk a lot about our right\Nto freedom of expression,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:46.16,0:19:48.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but we need to talk more about
Dialogue: 0,0:19:48.18,0:19:51.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,our responsibility\Nto freedom of expression.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:51.74,0:19:54.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We all want to be heard,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:54.48,0:19:59.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but let's acknowledge the difference\Nbetween speaking up with intention
Dialogue: 0,0:19:59.26,0:20:02.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and speaking up for attention.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:03.68,0:20:07.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Internet is \Nthe superhighway for the id,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:07.22,0:20:10.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but online, showing empathy to others
Dialogue: 0,0:20:10.38,0:20:15.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,benefits us all and helps create\Na safer and better world.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:15.93,0:20:19.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We need to communicate\Nonline with compassion,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:19.13,0:20:21.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,consume news with compassion,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:21.60,0:20:24.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and click with compassion.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:24.29,0:20:28.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just imagine walking a mile\Nin someone else's headline.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:31.48,0:20:34.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd like to end on a personal note.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:35.56,0:20:37.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the past nine months,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:37.65,0:20:41.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the question I've been \Nasked the most is why.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:41.18,0:20:45.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why now? Why was I \Nsticking my head above the parapet?
Dialogue: 0,0:20:45.19,0:20:47.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can read between the lines\Nin those questions,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:47.71,0:20:51.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the answer has nothing\Nto do with politics.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:51.56,0:20:57.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The top note answer was and is\Nbecause it's time:
Dialogue: 0,0:20:57.17,0:20:59.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,time to stop tip-toeing around my past;
Dialogue: 0,0:20:59.87,0:21:03.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,time to stop living a life of opprobrium;
Dialogue: 0,0:21:03.12,0:21:06.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and time to take back my narrative.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:06.35,0:21:11.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's also not just about saving myself.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:11.19,0:21:14.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Anyone who is suffering from shame\Nand public humiliation
Dialogue: 0,0:21:14.61,0:21:17.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,needs to know one thing:
Dialogue: 0,0:21:17.39,0:21:20.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can survive it.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:20.11,0:21:22.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know it's hard.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:22.87,0:21:26.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It may not be painless, quick or easy,
Dialogue: 0,0:21:26.50,0:21:31.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but you can insist\Non a different ending to your story.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:31.18,0:21:34.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Have compassion for yourself.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:34.55,0:21:37.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We all deserve compassion,
Dialogue: 0,0:21:37.64,0:21:43.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and to live both online and off\Nin a more compassionate world.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:43.84,0:21:46.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you for listening.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:46.44,0:21:56.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)