0:00:00.763,0:00:05.737
You're looking at a woman[br]who was publicly silent for a decade.

0:00:06.711,0:00:08.537
Obviously, that's changed,

0:00:08.967,0:00:10.381
but only recently.

0:00:11.051,0:00:12.629
It was several months ago

0:00:12.629,0:00:15.602
that I gave my very first[br]major public talk

0:00:15.602,0:00:18.217
at the Forbes 30 Under 30 summit:

0:00:18.217,0:00:22.431
1,500 brilliant people,[br]all under the age of 30.

0:00:23.101,0:00:25.865
That meant that in 1998,

0:00:25.865,0:00:29.452
the oldest among the group were only 14,

0:00:29.452,0:00:32.299
and the youngest, just four.

0:00:33.039,0:00:36.628
I joked with them that some[br]might only have heard of me

0:00:36.628,0:00:38.580
from rap songs.

0:00:38.580,0:00:41.727
Yes, I'm in rap songs.

0:00:41.727,0:00:45.424
Almost 40 rap songs. (Laughter)

0:00:46.614,0:00:50.109
But the night of my speech,[br]a surprising thing happened.

0:00:50.109,0:00:56.355
At the age of 41, I was hit on[br]by a 27-year-old guy.

0:00:57.155,0:00:59.331
I know, right?

0:01:00.301,0:01:02.914
He was charming and I was flattered,

0:01:02.914,0:01:04.687
and I declined.

0:01:05.387,0:01:08.331
You know what his[br]unsuccessful pickup line was?

0:01:09.141,0:01:12.461
He could make me feel 22 again.

0:01:12.461,0:01:17.407
(Laughter) (Applause)

0:01:18.637,0:01:23.908
I realized later that night,[br]I'm probably the only person over 40

0:01:23.908,0:01:26.509
who does not want to be 22 again.

0:01:26.509,0:01:29.109
(Laughter)

0:01:29.109,0:01:32.969
(Applause)

0:01:35.269,0:01:40.294
At the age of 22,[br]I fell in love with my boss,

0:01:40.294,0:01:43.115
and at the age of 24,

0:01:43.115,0:01:46.547
I learned the devastating consequences.

0:01:47.667,0:01:50.848
Can I see a show of hands of anyone here

0:01:50.848,0:01:55.361
who didn't make a mistake[br]or do something they regretted at 22?

0:01:57.151,0:01:59.718
Yep. That's what I thought.

0:02:00.648,0:02:06.428
So like me, at 22, a few of you[br]may have also taken wrong turns

0:02:06.428,0:02:09.466
and fallen in love with the wrong person,

0:02:09.466,0:02:11.428
maybe even your boss.

0:02:12.378,0:02:14.973
Unlike me, though, your boss

0:02:14.973,0:02:19.052
probably wasn't the president[br]of the United States of America.

0:02:19.802,0:02:24.098
Of course, life is full of surprises.

0:02:24.098,0:02:29.021
Not a day goes by that I'm not[br]reminded of my mistake,

0:02:29.021,0:02:31.294
and I regret that mistake deeply.

0:02:33.404,0:02:40.026
In 1998, after having been swept up[br]into an improbable romance,

0:02:40.026,0:02:45.488
I was then swept up into the eye[br]of a political, legal and media maelstrom

0:02:45.488,0:02:49.535
like we had never seen before.

0:02:49.535,0:02:51.877
Remember, just a few years earlier,

0:02:51.877,0:02:54.879
news was consumed from just three places:

0:02:54.879,0:02:57.551
reading a newspaper or magazine,

0:02:57.551,0:02:59.386
listening to the radio,

0:02:59.386,0:03:01.004
or watching television.

0:03:01.004,0:03:02.304
That was it.

0:03:02.304,0:03:06.259
But that wasn't my fate.

0:03:06.259,0:03:09.881
Instead, this scandal was brought to you

0:03:09.881,0:03:12.281
by the digital revolution.

0:03:12.281,0:03:15.988
That meant we could access[br]all the information we wanted,

0:03:15.988,0:03:20.283
when we wanted it, anytime, anywhere,

0:03:20.283,0:03:24.973
and when the story broke in January 1998,

0:03:24.973,0:03:27.759
it broke online.

0:03:27.759,0:03:30.760
It was the first time the traditional news

0:03:30.760,0:03:35.283
was usurped by the Internet[br]for a major news story,

0:03:35.283,0:03:39.504
a click that reverberated[br]around the world.

0:03:40.484,0:03:42.922
What that meant for me personally

0:03:42.922,0:03:48.040
was that overnight I went[br]from being a completely private figure

0:03:48.040,0:03:53.487
to a publicly humiliated one worldwide.

0:03:53.487,0:03:57.782
I was patient zero[br]of losing a personal reputation

0:03:57.782,0:04:02.338
on a global scale almost instantaneously.

0:04:03.588,0:04:05.927
This rush to judgment,[br]enabled by technology,

0:04:05.927,0:04:10.042
led to mobs of virtual stone-throwers.

0:04:10.042,0:04:13.101
Granted, it was before social media,

0:04:13.101,0:04:16.653
but people could still comment online,

0:04:16.653,0:04:22.881
email stories, and, of course,[br]email cruel jokes.

0:04:22.881,0:04:25.970
News sources plastered[br]photos of me all over

0:04:25.970,0:04:29.754
to sell newspapers, banner ads online,

0:04:29.754,0:04:32.293
and to keep people tuned to the TV.

0:04:33.913,0:04:37.462
Do you recall a particular image of me,

0:04:37.462,0:04:39.924
say, wearing a beret?

0:04:41.224,0:04:44.219
Now, I admit I made mistakes,

0:04:44.219,0:04:47.087
especially wearing that beret.

0:04:48.267,0:04:52.556
But the attention and judgment[br]that I received, not the story,

0:04:52.556,0:04:56.920
but that I personally received,[br]was unprecedented.

0:04:56.920,0:05:00.079
I was branded as a tramp,

0:05:00.079,0:05:06.627
tart, slut, whore, bimbo,

0:05:06.627,0:05:09.405
and, of course, that woman.

0:05:10.455,0:05:13.220
I was seen by many

0:05:13.220,0:05:16.608
but actually known by few.

0:05:16.608,0:05:20.186
And I get it: it was easy to forget

0:05:20.186,0:05:22.787
that that woman was dimensional,

0:05:22.787,0:05:26.755
had a soul, and was once unbroken.

0:05:29.505,0:05:34.404
When this happened to me 17 years ago,[br]there was no name for it.

0:05:34.404,0:05:38.801
Now we call it cyber-bullying[br]and online harassment.

0:05:40.421,0:05:43.917
Today, I want to share[br]some of my experience with you,

0:05:43.917,0:05:48.351
talk about how that experience has helped[br]shape my cultural observations,

0:05:48.351,0:05:53.203
and how I hope my past experience[br]can lead to a change that results

0:05:53.203,0:05:55.641
in less suffering for others.

0:05:58.221,0:06:03.494
In 1998, I lost my reputation[br]and my dignity.

0:06:03.494,0:06:06.994
I lost almost everything,

0:06:06.994,0:06:10.105
and I almost lost my life.

0:06:12.905,0:06:15.299
Let me paint a picture for you.

0:06:17.319,0:06:20.866
It is September of 1998.

0:06:20.866,0:06:23.552
I'm sitting in a windowless office room

0:06:23.552,0:06:26.616
inside the Office[br]of the Independent Counsel

0:06:26.616,0:06:31.051
underneath humming fluorescent lights.

0:06:31.051,0:06:34.882
I'm listening to the sound of my voice,

0:06:34.882,0:06:38.620
my voice on surreptitiously[br]taped phone calls

0:06:38.620,0:06:41.756
that a supposed friend[br]had made the year before.

0:06:41.756,0:06:45.331
I'm here because[br]I've been legally required

0:06:45.331,0:06:51.194
to personally authenticate[br]all 20 hours of taped conversation.

0:06:53.194,0:06:57.181
For the past eight months,[br]the mysterious content of these tapes

0:06:57.181,0:07:01.129
has hung like the sword[br]of Damocles over my head.

0:07:01.129,0:07:05.215
I mean, who can remember[br]what they said a year ago?

0:07:05.215,0:07:09.303
Scared and mortified, I listened,

0:07:11.013,0:07:15.555
listened as I prattle on[br]about the flotsam and jetsam of the day;

0:07:15.555,0:07:19.426
listen as I confess my love[br]for the President,

0:07:19.426,0:07:22.805
and, of course, my heartbreak;

0:07:22.805,0:07:27.623
listen to my sometimes catty,[br]sometimes churlish, sometimes silly self

0:07:27.623,0:07:32.342
being cruel, unforgiving, uncouth;

0:07:33.262,0:07:36.121
listen, deeply, deeply ashamed,

0:07:36.121,0:07:38.805
to the worst version of myself,

0:07:38.805,0:07:42.317
a self I don't even recognize.

0:07:44.537,0:07:48.659
A few days later, the Starr Report[br]is released to Congress,

0:07:48.659,0:07:53.770
and all of those tapes and transcripts,[br]those stolen words, form a part of it.

0:07:54.790,0:07:58.961
That people can read the transcripts[br]is horrific enough,

0:07:58.961,0:08:01.708
but a few weeks later,

0:08:01.708,0:08:05.005
the audio tapes are aired on TV,

0:08:05.005,0:08:08.591
and significant portions[br]made available online.

0:08:10.661,0:08:15.245
The public humiliation was excruciating.

0:08:15.245,0:08:18.708
Life was almost unbearable.

0:08:20.938,0:08:26.054
This was not something that happened[br]with regularity back then in 1998,

0:08:26.054,0:08:31.836
and by this, I mean the stealing[br]of people's private words, actions,

0:08:31.836,0:08:34.459
conversations, or photos,

0:08:34.459,0:08:37.038
and then making them public;

0:08:37.038,0:08:39.475
public without consent;

0:08:39.475,0:08:41.937
public without context;

0:08:41.937,0:08:44.531
and public without compassion.

0:08:46.091,0:08:49.181
Fast forward 12 years to 2010,

0:08:49.181,0:08:52.338
and now social media has been born.

0:08:53.158,0:08:58.190
The landscape has sadly become much[br]more populated with instances like mine,

0:08:58.190,0:09:01.208
whether or not someone[br]actually make a mistake,

0:09:01.208,0:09:06.920
and now it's for both public[br]and private people.

0:09:06.920,0:09:11.849
The consequences for some[br]have become dire, very dire.

0:09:13.799,0:09:16.347
I was on the phone with my mom

0:09:16.347,0:09:19.064
in September of 2010,

0:09:19.064,0:09:20.921
and we were talking about the news

0:09:20.921,0:09:23.713
of a young college freshman[br]from Rutgers University

0:09:23.713,0:09:25.866
named Tyler Clemente.

0:09:26.656,0:09:29.804
Sweet, sensitive, creative Tyler

0:09:29.804,0:09:32.183
was secretly webcammed by his roommate

0:09:32.183,0:09:34.956
while being intimate with another man.

0:09:36.826,0:09:39.264
When the online world[br]learned of this incident,

0:09:39.264,0:09:42.399
the ridicule and cyber-bullying ignited.

0:09:44.079,0:09:45.998
A few days later,

0:09:45.998,0:09:49.714
Tyler jumped from [br]the George Washington Bridge

0:09:49.714,0:09:51.247
to his death.

0:09:51.247,0:09:53.194
He was 18.

0:09:55.644,0:10:00.347
My mom was beside herself about[br]what happened to Tyler and his family,

0:10:00.347,0:10:02.902
and she was gutted with pain

0:10:02.902,0:10:06.570
in a way that I just couldn't[br]quite understand,

0:10:06.570,0:10:08.940
and then eventually I realized

0:10:08.940,0:10:11.921
she was reliving 1998,

0:10:11.921,0:10:15.954
reliving a time when she sat[br]by my bed every night,

0:10:18.824,0:10:24.797
reliving a time when she made me shower[br]with the bathroom door open,

0:10:24.797,0:10:28.907
and reliving a time[br]when both of my parents feared

0:10:28.907,0:10:31.857
that I would be humiliated to death,

0:10:31.857,0:10:34.169
literally.

0:10:36.339,0:10:39.286
Today, too many parents

0:10:39.286,0:10:42.628
haven't had the chance to step in[br]and rescue their loved ones.

0:10:42.628,0:10:46.809
Too many have learned[br]of their child's suffering and humiliation

0:10:46.809,0:10:49.374
after it was too late.

0:10:49.944,0:10:54.541
Tyler's tragic, senseless death[br]was a turning point for me.

0:10:54.541,0:10:58.582
It served to recontextualize[br]my experiences,

0:10:58.582,0:11:02.877
and I then began to look at the world[br]of humiliation and bullying around me

0:11:02.877,0:11:06.360
and see something different.

0:11:06.360,0:11:11.584
In 1998, we had no way of knowing[br]where this brave new technology

0:11:11.584,0:11:14.254
called the Internet would take us.

0:11:14.254,0:11:18.462
Since then, it has connected people[br]in unimaginable ways,

0:11:18.462,0:11:20.379
joining lost siblings,

0:11:20.379,0:11:24.450
saving lives, launching revolutions,

0:11:24.450,0:11:29.300
but the darkness, cyber-bullying,[br]and slut-shaming that I experienced

0:11:29.300,0:11:31.805
had mushroomed.

0:11:33.145,0:11:37.845
Every day online, people,[br]especially young people

0:11:37.845,0:11:40.772
who are not developmentally[br]equipped to handle this,

0:11:40.772,0:11:43.304
are so abused and humiliated

0:11:43.304,0:11:45.996
that they can't imagine living[br]to the next day,

0:11:45.996,0:11:49.145
and some, tragically, don't,

0:11:49.145,0:11:51.901
and there's nothing virtual about that.

0:11:53.551,0:11:56.598
ChildLine, a U.K. nonprofit that's focused

0:11:56.598,0:11:59.616
on helping young people on various issues,

0:11:59.616,0:12:03.309
released a staggering statistic[br]late last year:

0:12:03.309,0:12:06.930
from 2012 to 2013,

0:12:06.930,0:12:10.204
there was an 87 percent increase

0:12:10.204,0:12:15.080
in calls and emails related[br]to cyber-bullying.

0:12:15.080,0:12:17.262
A meta-analysis done[br]out of the Netherlands

0:12:17.262,0:12:21.977
showed that for the first time,[br]cyberbullying was leading

0:12:21.977,0:12:24.299
to suicidal ideations

0:12:24.299,0:12:28.199
more significantly than offline bullying.

0:12:28.199,0:12:31.960
And you know what shocked me,[br]although it shouldn't have,

0:12:31.960,0:12:35.897
was other research last year[br]that determined humiliation

0:12:35.897,0:12:38.895
was a more intensely felt emotion

0:12:38.895,0:12:42.955
than either happiness or even anger.

0:12:44.305,0:12:47.490
Cruelty to others is nothing new,

0:12:47.490,0:12:53.870
but online, technologically[br]enhanced shaming is amplified,

0:12:53.870,0:12:59.187
uncontained, and permanently accessible.

0:12:59.187,0:13:04.877
The echo of embarrassment used to extend[br]only as far as your family, village,

0:13:04.877,0:13:07.221
school, or community,

0:13:07.221,0:13:11.099
but now it's the online community too.

0:13:11.099,0:13:13.941
Millions of people, often anonymously,

0:13:13.941,0:13:17.934
can stab you with their words,[br]and that's a lot of pain,

0:13:17.934,0:13:21.070
and there are no perimeters[br]around how many people

0:13:21.070,0:13:23.158
can publicly observe you

0:13:23.158,0:13:26.577
and put you in a public stockade.

0:13:27.717,0:13:30.186
There is a very personal price

0:13:30.186,0:13:32.300
to public humiliation,

0:13:33.130,0:13:38.901
and the growth of the Internet[br]has jacked up that price.

0:13:39.841,0:13:42.268
For nearly two decades, now,

0:13:42.268,0:13:46.386
we have slowly been sowing the seeds[br]of shame and public humiliation

0:13:46.386,0:13:52.207
in our cultural soil, both on and offline.

0:13:52.207,0:13:57.105
Gossip websites, paparazzi,[br]reality programming, politics,

0:13:57.105,0:14:00.031
news outlets, and sometimes hackers,

0:14:00.031,0:14:03.050
all traffic in shame.

0:14:03.050,0:14:07.159
It's led to desensitization[br]and a permissive environment online

0:14:07.159,0:14:13.521
which lends itself to trolling,[br]invasion of privacy, and cyber-bullying.

0:14:13.521,0:14:17.306
This shift has created[br]what Professor Nicolaus Mills calls

0:14:17.306,0:14:21.090
a culture of humiliation.

0:14:21.090,0:14:26.269
Consider a few prominent examples[br]just from the past six months alone.

0:14:26.269,0:14:31.353
Snapchat, the service which is used[br]mainly by younger generations

0:14:31.353,0:14:34.048
and claims that its messages[br]only have the lifespan

0:14:34.048,0:14:35.751
of a few seconds.

0:14:35.751,0:14:39.161
You can imagine the range[br]of content that that gets.

0:14:39.161,0:14:43.294
A third party app which Snapchatters[br]use to preserve the lifespan

0:14:43.294,0:14:45.988
of the messages was hacked,

0:14:45.988,0:14:52.838
and 100,000 personal conversations,[br]photos, and videos were leaked online

0:14:52.838,0:14:57.095
to now have a lifespan of forever.

0:14:57.095,0:15:01.251
Jennifer Lawrence and several other actors[br]had their iCloud accounts hacked,

0:15:01.251,0:15:05.198
and private, intimate, nude photos[br]were plastered across the Internet

0:15:05.198,0:15:07.080
without their permission.

0:15:07.080,0:15:11.212
One gossip website[br]had over five million hits

0:15:11.212,0:15:13.787
for this one story.

0:15:15.027,0:15:18.526
And what about the Sony Pictures[br]cyber-hacking?

0:15:18.526,0:15:21.523
The documents which received[br]the most attention

0:15:21.523,0:15:27.559
were private emails that had[br]maximum public embarrassment value.

0:15:27.559,0:15:30.809
But in this culture of humiliation,

0:15:30.809,0:15:34.899
there is another kind of price tag[br]attached to public shaming.

0:15:35.639,0:15:38.797
The price does not measure[br]the cost to the victim,

0:15:38.797,0:15:41.050
which Tyler and too many others,

0:15:41.050,0:15:43.024
notably women, minorities,

0:15:43.024,0:15:47.202
and members of the LGBTQ[br]community have paid,

0:15:47.202,0:15:51.758
but the price measures the profit[br]of those who prey on them.

0:15:52.868,0:15:56.931
This invasion of others is a raw material,

0:15:56.931,0:16:02.921
efficiently and ruthlessly mined,[br]packaged, and sold at a profit.

0:16:02.921,0:16:08.703
A marketplace has emerged[br]where public humiliation is a commodity

0:16:08.703,0:16:12.047
and shame is an industry.

0:16:12.047,0:16:15.739
How is the money made?

0:16:15.739,0:16:17.573
Clicks.

0:16:17.573,0:16:20.104
The more shame, the more clicks.

0:16:20.104,0:16:23.958
The more clicks,[br]the more advertising dollars.

0:16:25.428,0:16:27.633
We're in a dangerous cycle.

0:16:27.633,0:16:30.558
The more we click on this kind of gossip,

0:16:30.558,0:16:34.279
the more numb we get[br]to the human lives behind it,

0:16:34.279,0:16:39.735
and the more numb we get,[br]the more we click.

0:16:39.735,0:16:42.658
All the while, someone is making money

0:16:42.658,0:16:45.541
off of the back of someone else's suffering.

0:16:46.871,0:16:49.674
With every click, we make a choice.

0:16:49.674,0:16:53.086
The more we saturate our culture[br]with public shaming,

0:16:53.086,0:16:54.945
the more accepted it is,

0:16:54.945,0:16:58.148
the more we will see behavior[br]like cyber-bullying,

0:16:58.148,0:17:00.795
trolling, some forms of hacking,

0:17:00.795,0:17:03.721
and online harassment.

0:17:03.721,0:17:11.429
Why? Because they all have[br]humiliation at the cores.

0:17:11.429,0:17:15.725
This behavior is a symptom[br]of the culture we've created.

0:17:15.725,0:17:18.032
Just think about it.

0:17:19.232,0:17:22.644
Changing behavior begins[br]with evolving beliefs.

0:17:22.644,0:17:26.150
We've seen that to be true[br]with racism, homophobia,

0:17:26.150,0:17:30.100
and plenty of other biases,[br]today and in the past.

0:17:30.910,0:17:34.068
As we've changed beliefs[br]about same sex marriage,

0:17:34.068,0:17:38.550
more people have been[br]offered equal freedoms.

0:17:38.550,0:17:40.733
When we began valuing sustainability,

0:17:40.733,0:17:43.681
more people began to recycle.

0:17:43.681,0:17:46.956
So as far as our culture[br]of humiliation goes,

0:17:46.956,0:17:50.601
what we need is a cultural revolution.

0:17:50.601,0:17:54.524
Public shaming[br]as a blood sport has to stop,

0:17:54.524,0:17:59.401
and it's time for an intervention[br]on the Internet and in our culture.

0:17:59.401,0:18:03.077
The shift begins with something simple,[br]but it's not easy.

0:18:04.137,0:18:10.772
We need to return to a long-held value[br]of compassion, compassion and empathy.

0:18:10.772,0:18:13.959
Online, we've got a compassion deficit,

0:18:13.959,0:18:16.021
an empathy crisis.

0:18:17.091,0:18:20.995
Researcher Brené Brown said, and I quote,

0:18:20.995,0:18:24.571
"Shame can't survive empathy."

0:18:24.571,0:18:29.015
Shame cannot survive empathy.

0:18:30.515,0:18:34.136
I've seen some very dark days in my life,

0:18:34.136,0:18:40.197
and it was the compassion and empathy[br]from my family, friends, professionals,

0:18:40.197,0:18:44.273
and sometimes even strangers[br]that saved me.

0:18:45.583,0:18:49.128
Even empathy from one person[br]can make a difference.

0:18:50.318,0:18:52.991
The theory of minority influence,

0:18:52.991,0:18:56.195
proposed by social psychologist[br]Serge Moscovici,

0:18:56.195,0:18:58.981
says that even in small numbers,

0:18:58.981,0:19:01.233
when there's consistency over time,

0:19:01.233,0:19:03.834
change can happen.

0:19:03.834,0:19:07.061
In the online world,[br]we can foster minority influence

0:19:07.061,0:19:09.488
by becoming upstanders.

0:19:09.488,0:19:13.214
To become an upstander means[br]instead of bystander apathy,

0:19:13.214,0:19:18.452
we can post a positive comment for someone[br]or report a bullying situation.

0:19:18.452,0:19:22.605
Trust me: compassionate comments[br]help abate the negativity.

0:19:23.385,0:19:27.193
We can also counteract the culture[br]by supporting organizations

0:19:27.193,0:19:29.469
that deal with these kinds of issues,

0:19:29.469,0:19:32.277
like the Tyler Clemente[br]Foundation in the U.S.,

0:19:32.277,0:19:35.088
In the U.K., there's Anti-Bullying Pro,

0:19:35.088,0:19:40.450
and in Australia, there's Project Rockit.

0:19:40.450,0:19:46.157
We talk a lot about our right[br]to freedom of expression,

0:19:46.157,0:19:48.182
but we need to talk more about

0:19:48.182,0:19:51.736
our responsibility[br]to freedom of expression.

0:19:51.736,0:19:54.475
We all want to be heard,

0:19:54.475,0:19:59.258
but let's acknowledge the difference[br]between speaking up with intention

0:19:59.258,0:20:02.374
and speaking up for attention.

0:20:03.684,0:20:07.222
The Internet is [br]the superhighway for the id,

0:20:07.222,0:20:10.380
but online, showing empathy to others

0:20:10.380,0:20:15.930
benefits us all and helps create[br]a safer and better world.

0:20:15.930,0:20:19.134
We need to communicate[br]online with compassion,

0:20:19.134,0:20:21.595
consume news with compassion,

0:20:21.595,0:20:24.289
and click with compassion.

0:20:24.289,0:20:28.923
Just imagine walking a mile[br]in someone else's headline.

0:20:31.476,0:20:34.461
I'd like to end on a personal note.

0:20:35.561,0:20:37.651
In the past nine months,

0:20:37.651,0:20:41.175
the question I've been [br]asked the most is why.

0:20:41.175,0:20:45.193
Why now? Why was I [br]sticking my head above the parapet?

0:20:45.193,0:20:47.710
You can read between the lines[br]in those questions,

0:20:47.710,0:20:51.559
and the answer has nothing[br]to do with politics.

0:20:51.559,0:20:54.718
The top node answer was and is

0:20:54.718,0:20:57.226
because it's time:

0:20:57.226,0:20:59.873
time to stop tip-toeing around my past;

0:20:59.873,0:21:03.115
time to stop living a life of opprobrium;

0:21:03.115,0:21:06.349
and time to take back my narrative.

0:21:06.349,0:21:11.194
It's also not just about saving myself.

0:21:11.194,0:21:14.607
Anyone who is suffering from shame[br]and public humiliation

0:21:14.607,0:21:17.394
needs to know one thing:

0:21:17.394,0:21:20.111
you can survive it.

0:21:20.111,0:21:22.874
I know it's hard.

0:21:22.874,0:21:26.505
It may not be painless, quick, or easy,

0:21:26.505,0:21:31.181
but you can insist[br]on a different ending to your story.

0:21:31.181,0:21:34.548
Have compassion for yourself.

0:21:34.548,0:21:37.636
We all deserve compassion,

0:21:37.636,0:21:43.835
and to live both online and off[br]in a more compassionate world.

0:21:43.835,0:21:46.435
Thank you for listening.

0:21:46.435,0:21:56.815
(Applause)