WEBVTT
00:00:06.635 --> 00:00:08.060
This is outrageous!
00:00:08.060 --> 00:00:10.265
We're the best twin gamers in the world.
00:00:10.265 --> 00:00:13.406
Did you not see us
at the Twin Cyber Olympics?
00:00:13.406 --> 00:00:14.730
Nah, I did.
00:00:14.730 --> 00:00:16.170
The answer's still no.
00:00:16.170 --> 00:00:18.379
Mom, checkbook.
00:00:18.379 --> 00:00:20.838
And Mr. Calhoun,
00:00:20.838 --> 00:00:25.436
I'm sure that a dirty old poor person
like you making 30 grand a year
00:00:25.436 --> 00:00:31.739
could benefit from a little,
I don't know, check for $900,000?
00:00:37.168 --> 00:00:38.128
(ripping)
00:00:38.246 --> 00:00:41.640
(gasps)
00:00:41.933 --> 00:00:44.601
You're right, mom.
They are bad with money.
00:00:44.771 --> 00:00:47.771
At first you weren't getting in
because you're 12
00:00:47.771 --> 00:00:49.225
and this is a high school,
00:00:49.225 --> 00:00:53.775
but now you're never getting in
'cause you're terrible people.
00:00:53.775 --> 00:00:55.947
Terrible? (giggles)
00:00:55.947 --> 00:00:59.421
If we're so terrible,
how come we get everything we want?
00:00:59.421 --> 00:01:01.587
Exactly what a terrible person would say.
00:01:01.587 --> 00:01:02.927
Please leave.
00:01:02.927 --> 00:01:05.157
(scoffs) Fine, wanna play hardball?
00:01:05.157 --> 00:01:07.712
Mom, buy his school for us.
00:01:07.712 --> 00:01:10.818
(Mom) Now, boys, I just bought
you an energy drink company to run.
00:01:10.818 --> 00:01:11.915
(both) But mom!
00:01:11.915 --> 00:01:13.000
(mom) Tell you what.
00:01:13.000 --> 00:01:16.920
Get your stock up to $400 a share
and maybe we'll buy you VGHS.
00:01:16.920 --> 00:01:18.361
You hear that, Calhoun?
00:01:18.361 --> 00:01:20.911
- Hostile takeover.
- We're gonna buy your dumb school
00:01:20.911 --> 00:01:22.368
and throw you out on the street!
00:01:22.368 --> 00:01:24.381
You'll rue the day you
ever said no to Ashton--
00:01:24.381 --> 00:01:25.375
And Shane.
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Barnstormer!
00:02:06.334 --> 00:02:10.440
Move over Napalm,
'cause Jock Juice has come to town!
00:02:10.573 --> 00:02:11.945
This is where your money belongs.
00:02:12.339 --> 00:02:14.452
Teenagers are clapping
hard for Jock Juice.
00:02:14.452 --> 00:02:17.595
Well, my win, as with all my wins,
can be attributed
00:02:17.595 --> 00:02:20.721
solely to this delicious
beverage, Jock Juice.
00:02:20.721 --> 00:02:22.904
Juice up your jocks with Jock Juice!
00:02:22.904 --> 00:02:25.521
Slam it into your underpants
and feel the surge.
00:02:25.521 --> 00:02:27.203
(sipping)
00:02:27.203 --> 00:02:29.926
Jock Juice, uh!
00:02:29.926 --> 00:02:33.417
Uh...uhhh...
00:02:33.507 --> 00:02:35.330
Okay, it's good.
It's good, it's a good beverage.
00:03:20.890 --> 00:03:24.055
(school bell rings)
00:03:26.786 --> 00:03:27.480
Next.
00:03:32.994 --> 00:03:34.301
Name?
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Shane.
00:03:36.456 --> 00:03:38.131
Shane Pizza.
00:03:40.984 --> 00:03:41.920
(bell clatters)
00:03:41.920 --> 00:03:43.201
Whoo, lemme hear it ring!
00:03:43.201 --> 00:03:45.503
Cool tattoo, nice shoes, up top!
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Hey, back to work.
00:03:58.863 --> 00:04:02.396
Do you wanna hear about how
the real world's the place for me?
00:04:06.015 --> 00:04:09.324
Things looking out there
won't look better on the T.V. screen
00:04:12.979 --> 00:04:14.546
Is there a better way?
00:04:14.546 --> 00:04:16.256
I don't care what you say.
00:04:16.256 --> 00:04:17.822
I just wanna play!
00:04:17.822 --> 00:04:19.518
We all just wanna play!
00:04:20.229 --> 00:04:21.468
Things will be all right
00:04:21.468 --> 00:04:23.664
Soon as I get back to school.
00:04:33.735 --> 00:04:35.605
Well, here we go, guys.
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Ted, you call us if you
need anything, okay?
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Yes, sir.
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Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Swan for everything.
00:04:41.176 --> 00:04:44.134
Especially Overdrift Rally Rash!
00:04:44.134 --> 00:04:45.653
- (laughter)
- You guys are tops.
00:04:45.653 --> 00:04:52.858
Sweetie, you take care.
I'm gonna miss you.
00:04:52.858 --> 00:04:54.355
Of course.
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Goodbye, parents.
00:05:04.231 --> 00:05:08.101
All right! The boys
and [Key] are back in town.
00:05:08.287 --> 00:05:11.921
Watch out, [?] and Jess.
We're comin' for ya!
00:05:12.616 --> 00:05:15.275
Aw, come on, [Key].
00:05:15.301 --> 00:05:17.433
The election was, like, forever ago.
00:05:17.433 --> 00:05:18.963
Noone's gonna remember who you are.
00:05:18.963 --> 00:05:22.484
And Brian, dude, come on.
00:05:22.484 --> 00:05:25.535
You and Jenny, come on!
00:05:25.535 --> 00:05:27.184
Dude!
00:05:27.184 --> 00:05:30.295
I know, I know, you're right.
I just...I don't know.
00:05:30.295 --> 00:05:33.554
I think I know what I gotta say to her,
and I'm nervous.
00:05:33.554 --> 00:05:35.217
I hope she takes me back.
00:05:40.787 --> 00:05:44.531
Did this school get bigger,
or did we get smaller?
00:05:44.847 --> 00:05:47.801
(chuckles) Looks like
the same old VGHS to me.
00:05:53.846 --> 00:05:56.558
Give it up for [The Silver
Sun Pickups], everybody.
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That's why we come
to school on a Sunday, people.
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Now, on to morning announcements.
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Good news.
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I noticed that the student fund
was getting a little low,
00:06:07.982 --> 00:06:14.687
so I dug into my big ol' pizza pockets
and got some...drum roll please.
00:06:15.083 --> 00:06:17.578
(drum roll)
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New computers for the social gamers!
00:06:20.502 --> 00:06:21.794
Come on down, you guys.
00:06:22.038 --> 00:06:23.288
(cheering)
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Oh, man.
Don't they look happy.
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(cheering)
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Now, I didn't have to do that.
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But I did.
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Because we're all one big family.
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You are my family.
You are mine!
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You my mine, VGHS!
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(cheering)
00:06:48.268 --> 00:06:53.342
That's [hucking those omelettes], gang.
Smash Mouth is up next.
00:06:53.462 --> 00:06:55.174
(cheering)
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What?
00:06:56.579 --> 00:07:01.631
Oh, here she comes.
Way to go, Heather.
00:07:01.631 --> 00:07:03.398
(gasps) God!
00:07:18.038 --> 00:07:19.919
God! No!
What? No running!
00:07:20.171 --> 00:07:21.541
Please, no throwing stuff!
00:07:21.541 --> 00:07:23.659
I-huh-hey!
Hey, [Key]!
00:07:23.659 --> 00:07:25.093
- You're back.
- Yes.
00:07:25.093 --> 00:07:28.146
- I see they've made you RA.
- Yeah, well, once you left
00:07:28.146 --> 00:07:30.745
nobody wanted to take the job,
so I thought, "I'll do it!"
00:07:30.745 --> 00:07:32.040
Hey, hey.
00:07:32.040 --> 00:07:36.260
Anywhos, so it's been really tough,
but you're back, so that's great.
00:07:36.260 --> 00:07:42.811
Um...so...speaking of which,
you have bathroom duty today.
00:07:48.471 --> 00:07:51.321
Uh, the girls, they say it's clean,
but they know I won't go in there,
00:07:51.480 --> 00:07:53.060
so I think they're lying. (chuckles)
00:07:53.060 --> 00:07:55.451
Will you-will you get that
done by tomorrow, please?
00:07:55.451 --> 00:07:57.103
Nope.
00:07:58.462 --> 00:08:00.431
Oh, come on!
Not you too, [Key].
00:08:00.431 --> 00:08:03.450
Why does nobody listen to me?! (whines)
00:08:06.690 --> 00:08:08.268
It's because you're weak, [Wendell].
00:08:08.541 --> 00:08:12.947
- And the world preys on the weak.
- Guh!
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God, what's wrong with you?
00:08:14.937 --> 00:08:17.292
I thought-I thought helping
people was your thing.
00:08:17.292 --> 00:08:19.353
I have a new thing now.
00:08:19.353 --> 00:08:20.455
What?!
00:08:20.738 --> 00:08:24.453
(Wendell) You're getting
a frownie sticker, Key!
00:08:29.293 --> 00:08:31.014
Go ahead.
I don't care.
00:08:31.367 --> 00:08:33.898
Like crap you don't, Key Swan!
00:08:33.898 --> 00:08:35.857
You invented the sticker system, okay?
00:08:35.857 --> 00:08:38.765
You're the only one who cares
about it and-and if you don't clean
00:08:38.765 --> 00:08:42.022
the bathroom in 24 hours,
your name is getting a frownie sticker!
00:08:42.022 --> 00:08:44.751
(Wendell) 24 hours, Key!
00:08:44.751 --> 00:08:47.306
(vrooming)
00:08:47.306 --> 00:08:48.901
Brake! (imitates squealing wheels)
00:08:48.901 --> 00:08:51.917
What up, Drift people!
Who's ready to get their rally on...?
00:08:57.464 --> 00:08:58.724
(DK) Theodore!
00:08:59.792 --> 00:09:00.812
Old friend!
00:09:01.157 --> 00:09:04.013
You find us at our darkest hour.
00:09:04.013 --> 00:09:05.797
Sorry about that whole "dad" thing.
00:09:05.797 --> 00:09:08.115
We got you a basket.
00:09:08.115 --> 00:09:12.737
Oh, thanks.
What happened to your head?
00:09:12.737 --> 00:09:17.066
The Dutchess of Fart and her
Fart Goons shaved it in my sleep!
00:09:17.066 --> 00:09:18.483
What?! Why?
00:09:18.483 --> 00:09:21.972
She thinks that if I have no hair
I won't want that coupon for that perm.
00:09:21.972 --> 00:09:25.373
They've been breaking us all week.
I think it's time we strike back.
00:09:26.838 --> 00:09:27.826
Hide this in your pants.
00:09:29.206 --> 00:09:31.772
I was really hoping we could play.
00:09:31.772 --> 00:09:34.923
Oh, play later.
First...to war!
00:09:34.923 --> 00:09:40.014
(heroic music)
00:09:40.181 --> 00:09:41.776
Aw, man!
00:09:45.070 --> 00:09:48.512
(explosions)
00:09:48.512 --> 00:09:51.030
(gunfire)
00:09:56.948 --> 00:09:59.143
Lieutenant, start the engine!
00:09:59.143 --> 00:10:03.585
Sir, I can't solve this equation!
Do you know the variable?
00:10:03.585 --> 00:10:06.983
I don't.
But maybe you do.
00:10:06.983 --> 00:10:13.416
Okay, gang, master chief
can't fix his warthog
00:10:13.416 --> 00:10:15.708
until we find the correct equation.
00:10:15.708 --> 00:10:18.233
Anyone?
00:10:19.061 --> 00:10:25.330
Uh, is the equation Jenny minus
Brian equals "Can I get a taste?"
00:10:25.330 --> 00:10:26.669
(laughter)
00:10:26.669 --> 00:10:27.780
Get out, Sebastian.
00:10:27.780 --> 00:10:30.324
- Worth a shot.
- (teacher) Out!
00:10:30.324 --> 00:10:34.202
- It's X - 2.
- (chuckling)
00:10:34.202 --> 00:10:35.592
I'm also smart.
00:10:35.592 --> 00:10:38.642
(sighs)
00:10:39.655 --> 00:10:41.128
Jenny, show us how it's done.
00:10:43.056 --> 00:10:44.202
(sighs)
00:10:52.505 --> 00:10:54.233
(explosion)
00:10:54.233 --> 00:10:56.324
(laughter)
00:10:56.324 --> 00:10:57.956
Nice going, craptain.
00:10:57.956 --> 00:10:59.812
Can't even hit a variable.
00:10:59.812 --> 00:11:02.157
(students "ooh")
00:11:02.157 --> 00:11:04.259
Keep missing, Jenny.
It's still funny.
00:11:04.259 --> 00:11:05.786
Okay, that's enough.
00:11:05.786 --> 00:11:08.244
Yeah, so, I'm ditching.
00:11:08.244 --> 00:11:09.501
Peace.
00:11:10.290 --> 00:11:11.852
Don't miss the door on your way out!
00:11:11.852 --> 00:11:13.971
Ooh!
00:11:15.101 --> 00:11:18.281
(country music)
00:11:23.350 --> 00:11:24.940
Oh, hey, Rosie.
I'm taking my break.
00:11:25.484 --> 00:11:26.647
Go get her, kid.
00:11:27.167 --> 00:11:30.515
(country music)
00:11:32.891 --> 00:11:35.021
Hey, J-Jenny.
What's up, stranger?
00:11:35.021 --> 00:11:36.415
Brian, you're back.
00:11:36.415 --> 00:11:38.626
Yeah, just hangin' out.
00:11:38.626 --> 00:11:40.388
Well, what're you up to?
00:11:40.388 --> 00:11:42.313
Just ditching class.
00:11:42.313 --> 00:11:45.511
Uh-oh...cool, that's new for you.
00:11:45.511 --> 00:11:48.427
Yeah, so is being dumped
and made fun of by the entire school.
00:11:48.427 --> 00:11:51.545
- Oh.
- Did you need something?
00:11:51.545 --> 00:11:54.031
Uh, yeah.
00:11:54.031 --> 00:11:57.988
I had a whole game plan, but...
00:11:57.988 --> 00:12:00.843
but you just said...
I kinda gotta change it.
00:12:00.843 --> 00:12:03.767
Um, listen.
00:12:03.767 --> 00:12:07.940
I've had some time
to think about it and I'm sorry.
00:12:07.940 --> 00:12:13.978
Okay, no. (sighs)
I'm sorry.
00:12:13.978 --> 00:12:16.620
I just think that we should talk about us.
00:12:16.620 --> 00:12:19.163
Brian, I don't even know what I
would say to you about "us" right now.
00:12:19.605 --> 00:12:23.450
Uh, well for starters I was hoping
there could even be an us...
00:12:23.450 --> 00:12:24.788
and you're leaving.
00:12:26.325 --> 00:12:31.399
(country music)
00:12:32.107 --> 00:12:34.477
Um, so, what're we doing again?
00:12:34.477 --> 00:12:35.494
Goddamn it, Ted!
00:12:35.494 --> 00:12:37.203
How many times do we
have to explain this?
00:12:37.635 --> 00:12:41.005
[Jefferson High] won
the Trivia Bowl last week,
00:12:41.005 --> 00:12:44.663
and the first place prize was one coupon
for a highlight and perm
00:12:44.663 --> 00:12:46.683
at the Beyond Two Souls Beauty Salon.
00:12:46.683 --> 00:12:47.669
(chains rattle)
00:12:47.669 --> 00:12:48.963
I thought I deserved it.
00:12:48.963 --> 00:12:51.156
She thought differently.
00:12:51.156 --> 00:12:54.763
We quarreled and a Calhoun
took the coupon away.
00:12:54.763 --> 00:12:57.208
He won't give it back until
we decide on who gets it.
00:12:57.208 --> 00:12:59.810
That's when the pranks began.
00:12:59.810 --> 00:13:05.188
Um, okay.
So what do you want me to do?
00:13:05.188 --> 00:13:11.143
Shoot her in the head.
00:13:11.143 --> 00:13:12.825
Ew! Gum in the hair?
00:13:12.825 --> 00:13:15.619
Dude, that's way gross and mean.
00:13:15.619 --> 00:13:20.223
We tried to take the high road,
but look what she's done to us.
00:13:20.364 --> 00:13:22.220
Everything smells like super glue.
00:13:22.220 --> 00:13:24.940
What would you have us do, Ted?
Lie down and die?
00:13:24.940 --> 00:13:27.795
- Well, no, but--
- Come on, dude.
00:13:27.795 --> 00:13:30.119
You're the John Wilkes Booth
of sling shots.
00:13:30.119 --> 00:13:31.607
He's the guy that killed Lincoln.
00:13:31.607 --> 00:13:32.797
You got this.
00:13:32.797 --> 00:13:35.722
(sighs) Fine, okay, I'll do it.
00:13:35.722 --> 00:13:37.449
Well, that's what friends are for, right?
00:13:37.449 --> 00:13:39.114
That's the spirit, Ted!
00:13:39.114 --> 00:13:40.791
Let's roll.
00:13:40.791 --> 00:13:45.946
(heroic music)
00:13:57.392 --> 00:13:59.155
Oh, already hard at work, I see. Huh?
00:13:59.155 --> 00:14:01.783
If you need more bleach,
there's...okay, what?
00:14:01.783 --> 00:14:03.597
What the heck is that?
00:14:03.597 --> 00:14:04.674
Oh, didn't you hear?
00:14:04.674 --> 00:14:07.104
I hosting a 24 hour
game design competition.
00:14:07.104 --> 00:14:09.397
So much for bathroom duty.
00:14:09.397 --> 00:14:12.381
Oh, nice try, Key!
But if you want to host
00:14:12.381 --> 00:14:13.808
a school event, you're gonna need--
00:14:13.808 --> 00:14:16.130
Wavers, signed in triplicate by Calhoun.
00:14:16.130 --> 00:14:19.943
Okay...um...fine, fine.
00:14:19.943 --> 00:14:22.093
Once you're done, just go
clean the bathroom, okay?
00:14:22.093 --> 00:14:24.646
In 24 hours it will be Zoe's turn
to clean the bathroom.
00:14:24.646 --> 00:14:26.710
So...I win.
00:14:26.710 --> 00:14:29.285
(typing)
00:14:29.285 --> 00:14:30.463
What?
00:14:30.463 --> 00:14:34.347
This-This isn't you, Key!
Why are you being such a jerk?
00:14:34.347 --> 00:14:35.806
Because life is meaningless.
00:14:35.806 --> 00:14:37.954
- Huh.
- (typing)
00:14:37.954 --> 00:14:44.026
I have a game to design,
so if you could just please leave.
00:14:44.026 --> 00:14:46.869
Or stay and design a game.
It's a game jam.
00:14:46.869 --> 00:14:49.930
(groans)
00:14:49.930 --> 00:14:58.404
(sirens wail)
00:14:58.404 --> 00:15:00.024
(gunfire)
00:15:06.401 --> 00:15:08.196
Sushi_Princess wins.
00:15:08.196 --> 00:15:12.016
(man) GTFO, Jenny!
You suck! (laughs)
00:15:12.016 --> 00:15:13.781
You wanna come say that to my face?!
00:15:13.781 --> 00:15:15.842
Oh, that's what I thought.
00:15:15.842 --> 00:15:18.906
(girl) So, it really is you.
00:15:18.906 --> 00:15:24.887
Who's asking?
00:15:24.887 --> 00:15:28.436
The number one player
in that game you just sucked at.
00:15:28.436 --> 00:15:31.685
You're Sushi_Princess?
00:15:31.685 --> 00:15:34.870
What happened to you, Matrix?
You used to be my hero.
00:15:34.870 --> 00:15:36.263
You used to be the best.
00:15:36.263 --> 00:15:38.978
Then Brian gave you cooties
and you've sucked ever since.
00:15:38.978 --> 00:15:40.900
Okay, well, that is not fair.
00:15:40.900 --> 00:15:41.869
- (spits)
- (gasps)
00:15:41.869 --> 00:15:43.499
Life ain't fair!
Grow a pair.
00:15:43.499 --> 00:15:44.953
Sushi_Princess.
00:15:44.953 --> 00:15:50.701
I really like that kid.
00:15:50.701 --> 00:15:53.155
(sarcastically) Yay, mom's here.
00:15:53.155 --> 00:15:56.714
Come on, let's get a burger.
Pity party's over.
00:16:00.754 --> 00:16:04.138
I did [the train] of memory
00:16:04.634 --> 00:16:05.748
Oh, what...
00:16:05.748 --> 00:16:07.154
I've lost her forever, old buddy.
00:16:07.154 --> 00:16:10.220
...reverie
00:16:12.369 --> 00:16:17.556
Ooh
00:16:17.734 --> 00:16:23.401
Ooh
00:16:34.297 --> 00:16:40.608
(ominous music)
00:16:40.608 --> 00:16:43.507
(tribal wailing)
00:16:55.361 --> 00:16:58.621
(tribal wailing)
00:17:03.397 --> 00:17:10.306
(tribal drumming)
00:17:52.264 --> 00:17:53.608
Go, crap!
They made us!
00:17:53.608 --> 00:17:55.508
Wha-whoa-whoa! (grunts)
00:17:55.508 --> 00:17:56.705
Good job, Ted.
00:17:56.705 --> 00:17:58.225
Oh, my tail bone!
00:17:58.225 --> 00:17:59.616
(Dutchess) Well, well, well.
00:17:59.616 --> 00:18:01.455
His majesty's loyal lap dog.
00:18:01.455 --> 00:18:03.518
Dutchess, I'm really sorry
about your hair.
00:18:03.518 --> 00:18:07.941
Oh, uh...
00:18:07.941 --> 00:18:09.662
Well, in that case I guess
we're even, huh?
00:18:09.662 --> 00:18:11.968
So truce peace?
Oh, please, Dutchess, please!
00:18:11.968 --> 00:18:14.138
Please, please, I just back to school.
All I want is to play video games.
00:18:14.138 --> 00:18:18.960
Ugh, Ted.
You're right.
00:18:18.960 --> 00:18:20.944
You've had a tough week.
00:18:20.944 --> 00:18:26.508
- Oh, that was very nice of you.
- Calhoun!
00:18:26.508 --> 00:18:28.361
- Ted did it.
- Wha-?
00:18:28.361 --> 00:18:32.837
TED!
00:18:32.837 --> 00:18:36.626
- (school bell rings)
- Detention for the rest of the day.
00:18:36.626 --> 00:18:38.058
Calhoun, I swear it wasn't me.
00:18:38.239 --> 00:18:41.691
Ted, I'm a grown man
with gum in my hair!
00:18:41.691 --> 00:18:44.679
Someone's going down.
That someone is you.
00:18:44.679 --> 00:18:45.901
- But--
- Spare me.
00:18:45.901 --> 00:18:48.372
You and the Drifters have been
pulling this crap all year.
00:18:48.372 --> 00:18:52.478
(sighs) Yes, sir.
I'm sorry, sir.
00:18:52.478 --> 00:18:58.090
Look, I know it's tough,
what's happened with your dad.
00:18:58.090 --> 00:19:01.480
And being a teen is hard, I guess.
00:19:01.480 --> 00:19:04.209
But, dammit, grow up!
00:19:04.209 --> 00:19:07.794
(rustling)
00:19:07.794 --> 00:19:10.379
(fire alarm rings)
00:19:10.379 --> 00:19:12.465
This school better be on fire.
00:19:12.465 --> 00:19:14.095
Don't move.
00:19:14.095 --> 00:19:19.473
Well, what if it is on fire?
00:19:19.473 --> 00:19:24.414
(phone rings)
00:19:24.414 --> 00:19:27.180
Uh, Calhoun's office.
00:19:27.180 --> 00:19:29.144
Ted, this is DK.
Get the coupon.
00:19:29.144 --> 00:19:30.607
Bottom left drawer. Go!
00:19:30.607 --> 00:19:34.453
- DK, I just got super in trouble!
- Get that coupon!
00:19:34.453 --> 00:19:36.271
- (hangs up)
- GOD!
00:19:36.271 --> 00:19:38.544
BAH!
00:19:40.379 --> 00:19:43.756
Key Swan!
00:19:43.756 --> 00:19:47.470
How do you make, um, video games?
00:19:47.470 --> 00:19:49.516
First rule: no talking.
00:19:50.802 --> 00:19:52.371
Second rule: sit over there.
00:19:53.820 --> 00:19:56.223
Okay.
00:19:56.223 --> 00:20:00.777
Hello, knock, knock, knock!
00:20:00.777 --> 00:20:01.959
Ding dong!
Hello?
00:20:01.959 --> 00:20:02.939
(chuckles)
00:20:02.939 --> 00:20:04.399
(sighs) What is this?
What're you doing?
00:20:04.399 --> 00:20:07.840
Well, as Head RA, it is my duty
to help students in need.
00:20:07.840 --> 00:20:10.952
And, Miss Swan, you need
to talk about your feels.
00:20:10.952 --> 00:20:11.811
Hmm?
00:20:11.811 --> 00:20:14.627
So I'm not going to leave
here until you do.
00:20:14.627 --> 00:20:16.479
I'm an artist.
I don't talk.
00:20:16.479 --> 00:20:18.144
I create.
00:20:18.144 --> 00:20:20.340
Hey, what is this?
00:20:20.340 --> 00:20:24.421
(owls hoot)
00:20:24.421 --> 00:20:27.104
Huh. Hey, this is kinda cool.
00:20:27.104 --> 00:20:29.076
How do you jump?
00:20:37.826 --> 00:20:39.565
- You can leave now.
- What, that's it?
00:20:39.717 --> 00:20:42.195
You just walk until you let go
and then you die?
00:20:42.195 --> 00:20:43.598
Yep, that's the whole game.
00:20:43.598 --> 00:20:46.446
But that's stupid!
What's the point of playing?
00:20:46.446 --> 00:20:47.931
Exactly.
00:20:47.931 --> 00:20:51.101
Oh my god, Key!
Please be more pretentious.
00:20:51.101 --> 00:20:53.300
It's not pretentious, Wendell.
You're just too dumb to get it.
00:20:53.300 --> 00:20:56.979
(mumbling) That's right, Wendell.
You're dumb.
00:20:56.979 --> 00:21:01.891
(scoffs) Well then, I guess
dumb old Wendell will just have
00:21:01.891 --> 00:21:04.192
to play your dumb old game
until he figures it out.
00:21:04.192 --> 00:21:06.703
There's nothing to figure out, Wendell.
00:21:06.703 --> 00:21:10.627
Well, then it's gonna be
a loooong 21 hours, Key.
00:21:10.627 --> 00:21:13.483
- I'm outta here.
- Bye.
00:21:20.973 --> 00:21:22.754
How about some music?
00:21:24.940 --> 00:21:28.525
(DJ) You're listening to NPR,
the [napalm] player report,
00:21:28.525 --> 00:21:30.480
and we're talking with Ashley Barnstormer.
00:21:30.480 --> 00:21:33.999
Great timing, mom.
00:21:33.999 --> 00:21:38.679
Speaking of timing, I was gonna
tell you this after class
00:21:38.679 --> 00:21:41.404
but the commandos need me
back earlier than I thought.
00:21:41.404 --> 00:21:44.121
When do you leave?
00:21:44.121 --> 00:21:46.979
The OTA's are Monday, so tomorrow.
00:21:46.979 --> 00:21:51.108
Wow, that's great.
00:21:51.108 --> 00:21:53.305
Yeah, the new owners
have to flex their muscles.
00:21:53.305 --> 00:21:56.682
- And since school is wrapping up--
- Mom, it's fine.
00:21:56.682 --> 00:21:58.585
You know, you gotta go.
I get it.
00:21:58.585 --> 00:21:59.851
Have fun.
00:22:08.972 --> 00:22:10.492
Why are you touching me?
00:22:10.492 --> 00:22:12.668
I'm...comforting you?
00:22:12.668 --> 00:22:14.187
Is that a question?
00:22:14.187 --> 00:22:17.352
You know, I'm trying to be a mom here.
00:22:17.352 --> 00:22:19.644
Yeah? Well, you're terrible at it.
00:22:19.644 --> 00:22:22.020
Yeah? Well...(stammers)
00:22:22.020 --> 00:22:23.490
Your boyfriend dumped you.
00:22:23.490 --> 00:22:27.719
(laughs) You know,
I don't even know why we try.
00:22:27.719 --> 00:22:29.436
Wow.
00:22:29.752 --> 00:22:30.836
- No!
- Yup.
00:22:30.836 --> 00:22:35.031
Jenny! Wait!
Come back here.
00:22:35.031 --> 00:22:37.081
Jenny!
Get back here!
00:22:37.081 --> 00:22:38.810
Stop! Stop!
00:22:39.223 --> 00:22:40.409
(shrieks)
00:22:40.409 --> 00:22:42.538
- What?!
- You are stopping.
00:22:42.538 --> 00:22:45.437
Okay, mom.
Here's your chance.
00:22:45.437 --> 00:22:47.718
- Parent me.
- Oh, shit.
00:22:47.718 --> 00:22:48.977
I don't know.
00:22:48.977 --> 00:22:53.527
Listen, you don't need me here, okay?
00:22:53.527 --> 00:22:56.710
You're one of the best
in the league and next year--
00:22:56.710 --> 00:22:59.101
Mom, I know, okay?
This isn't even about you.
00:22:59.101 --> 00:23:00.687
Oh, thank god.
Wait?
00:23:00.687 --> 00:23:03.525
- Then what's the problem?
- (sighs)
00:23:03.525 --> 00:23:08.097
The problem is everything else!
00:23:08.097 --> 00:23:12.519
All right? I am an angry, unhappy person.
00:23:12.519 --> 00:23:15.106
That's probably why I
punched Ashley in the face,
00:23:15.106 --> 00:23:18.985
and why I have no real friends,
and why I just ruined
00:23:18.985 --> 00:23:23.076
my relationship with the only person
in my life who's ever really loved me.
00:23:23.076 --> 00:23:29.971
Present company sort of excluded,
I guess, and dad, or...
00:23:29.971 --> 00:23:31.506
(grunts)
00:23:31.506 --> 00:23:36.140
(sighs)
00:23:36.710 --> 00:23:39.036
(train whistles)
00:23:50.039 --> 00:23:51.541
Brian wants to get back together.
00:23:53.486 --> 00:23:58.393
Which means that he hasn't realized
that I'm a total sociopath
00:23:58.393 --> 00:24:01.086
that cares more about
video games than people.
00:24:01.086 --> 00:24:05.856
When he does, he's gonna
wanna break up again,
00:24:05.856 --> 00:24:11.025
which is exactly what I deserve,
'cause I'm a shitty person.
00:24:11.025 --> 00:24:16.144
You're not a shitty person.
00:24:17.730 --> 00:24:19.230
How would you know that?
00:24:19.230 --> 00:24:23.551
A shitty person is a mom
that walks out on her husband
00:24:23.551 --> 00:24:26.779
and her little girl just to get
another trophy under her belt.
00:24:26.779 --> 00:24:32.626
Not a 16 year old girl
with hopes and dreams.
00:24:32.626 --> 00:24:40.649
Just the fact that you even care
about other people's feelings,
00:24:40.649 --> 00:24:43.679
that makes you, you know, fine.
00:24:43.679 --> 00:24:51.219
(touching music)
00:24:54.473 --> 00:24:55.573
I'm gonna miss you, kid.
00:24:58.073 --> 00:24:58.801
Me too.
00:25:04.670 --> 00:25:05.572
(sighs)
00:25:14.679 --> 00:25:16.452
(breathes heavily)
00:25:20.428 --> 00:25:22.315
(breathes heavily)
00:25:25.561 --> 00:25:26.596
(breathes heavily)
00:25:26.596 --> 00:25:28.419
Stop, stop that.
Stop doing that.
00:25:28.419 --> 00:25:30.647
Sorry.
00:25:30.647 --> 00:25:34.364
Just Brian messing up again like always.
00:25:34.364 --> 00:25:38.136
Okay, what is it?
Spit it out.
00:25:38.136 --> 00:25:40.117
(sighs)
00:25:40.117 --> 00:25:45.375
It's just when Jenny and I broke up,
and I wanna fix it.
00:25:45.375 --> 00:25:47.706
Or, I don't know,
maybe I don't.
00:25:47.706 --> 00:25:50.656
Maybe I'm meant to be alone. (sighs)
00:25:50.656 --> 00:25:52.969
I don't wanna die.
00:25:52.969 --> 00:25:56.458
Calhoun, please.
I don't have a dad.
00:25:56.458 --> 00:25:59.672
I just danced with my cat.
I need an adult.
00:25:59.672 --> 00:26:04.376
- (sighs) Do you like her?
- Yes.
00:26:04.376 --> 00:26:05.937
Are you in high school?
00:26:05.937 --> 00:26:07.905
(puzzled) Yes.
00:26:07.905 --> 00:26:12.902
Welcome to the wonderful world
of having no problems!
00:26:12.902 --> 00:26:14.065
No, no!
00:26:14.065 --> 00:26:15.150
Calhoun, the problem is...
00:26:15.150 --> 00:26:17.620
even if we get back together...
00:26:17.620 --> 00:26:21.150
I don't know.
00:26:21.150 --> 00:26:24.988
I'm never gonna be the most
important thing in her life.
00:26:24.988 --> 00:26:29.086
Yeah, that's 'cause she's smarter
than most teenage girls, all right?
00:26:29.086 --> 00:26:31.164
You're her high school boyfriend.
00:26:31.164 --> 00:26:33.605
You should be happy she even talks to you.
00:26:33.605 --> 00:26:34.853
- But--
- But.
00:26:34.853 --> 00:26:36.099
- But.
- But.
00:26:36.099 --> 00:26:37.899
But shut up, okay?
00:26:37.899 --> 00:26:41.439
This is your first relationship.
It's like your first car.
00:26:41.439 --> 00:26:44.659
You're gonna go fast,
way too fast.
00:26:44.659 --> 00:26:46.096
You're probably gonna wreck it.
00:26:46.096 --> 00:26:49.579
So wear a seat belt and enjoy the ride.
00:26:49.579 --> 00:26:53.700
Calhoun, I'm gonna be honest.
00:26:53.700 --> 00:26:58.411
I'm trying to open up to you here,
but you're really not helping.
00:26:58.411 --> 00:27:01.996
Maybe that's because I'm not the one
you should be opening up to.
00:27:01.996 --> 00:27:06.713
Boom.
Nailed it.
00:27:37.723 --> 00:27:40.959
(sighs) Hey, guys, I--
00:27:41.653 --> 00:27:43.935
Ah, Theodore.
You return.
00:27:43.935 --> 00:27:48.059
And with my coupon, I see.
00:27:48.059 --> 00:27:49.468
Well done!
00:27:49.468 --> 00:27:53.877
You're playing my game without me.
00:27:53.877 --> 00:27:56.181
(DK) Not anymore.
We're out of candy
00:27:56.181 --> 00:27:57.929
and we beat all the levels.
00:27:57.929 --> 00:28:03.082
Before it expires?
00:28:03.082 --> 00:28:04.904
No.
00:28:04.904 --> 00:28:06.937
Um, yes.
00:28:06.937 --> 00:28:08.197
No!
00:28:08.197 --> 00:28:10.356
- I command you--
- I said NO.
00:28:10.356 --> 00:28:12.377
- Ted--
- You ate my dead dad candy.
00:28:12.377 --> 00:28:14.128
I am the drift king!
00:28:14.128 --> 00:28:15.791
Yeah, well maybe you shouldn't be.
00:28:15.791 --> 00:28:19.343
Seriously, we do bad stuff
for you all the time,
00:28:19.343 --> 00:28:21.133
but you don't care.
00:28:21.133 --> 00:28:25.057
You only care about yourself.
You're not a king, dude.
00:28:25.057 --> 00:28:27.840
You're a senior!
You're going to college next year.
00:28:27.840 --> 00:28:30.471
Just grow the hell up!
00:28:30.471 --> 00:28:34.524
(sighs) I could be a better king than you.
00:28:34.524 --> 00:28:42.624
Is that a challenge, Ted?
00:28:42.624 --> 00:28:46.105
Yeah, it is.
00:28:46.105 --> 00:28:49.817
I challenge you
for the title of Drift King.
00:28:49.817 --> 00:28:54.305
I accept.
00:28:54.305 --> 00:28:58.072
And when you race against king...
00:28:58.072 --> 00:28:59.733
(snaps finger)
00:29:00.887 --> 00:29:03.684
..you race against his kingdom.
00:29:04.812 --> 00:29:08.115
Let's drift.
00:29:09.031 --> 00:29:14.567
(revving engines)
00:29:23.716 --> 00:29:29.517
(heavy metal music)
00:29:42.039 --> 00:29:44.800
(tires squeal)
00:29:44.800 --> 00:29:50.209
(engines rev)
00:31:09.922 --> 00:31:15.966
(engine hums distantly)
00:31:18.372 --> 00:31:23.249
(engine roars)
00:31:23.407 --> 00:31:24.395
(birds whistle)
00:31:24.395 --> 00:31:25.461
(engine roars)
00:31:26.599 --> 00:31:30.987
(tires squeal)
00:31:39.397 --> 00:31:44.607
(clock ticks)
00:31:53.677 --> 00:32:08.657
(tires squeal)
00:32:14.927 --> 00:32:16.622
Sorry, DK.
00:32:19.037 --> 00:32:22.660
(tires squeal)
00:32:38.118 --> 00:32:41.727
(tires squeal)
00:32:51.737 --> 00:32:52.867
Oh!
00:33:08.311 --> 00:33:15.472
(tires squeal)
00:33:59.706 --> 00:34:01.049
The kingdom's yours, DK.
00:34:47.870 --> 00:34:50.231
(sighs) Okay, Wendell.
I'm only talking to you
00:34:50.231 --> 00:34:51.921
because you're sleeping.
00:34:51.921 --> 00:34:54.449
And last week I burned my diary
to see what the ashes would look like.
00:34:54.449 --> 00:34:58.805
Which was stupid.
I don't know why I did that.
00:34:58.805 --> 00:35:02.052
I don't really know
what's happening to me.
00:35:10.572 --> 00:35:13.919
You know I still have all my grandparents?
00:35:14.708 --> 00:35:18.198
Ted's father is dead, but I still get
four sweaters for Christmas every year.
00:35:18.198 --> 00:35:21.426
Which just seems really mean to me.
00:35:21.426 --> 00:35:26.142
It's callous and random.
And then it's over.
00:35:26.142 --> 00:35:30.791
I don't really know why
I'm playing anymore.
00:35:30.791 --> 00:35:35.395
(murmuring in sleep)
00:35:37.482 --> 00:35:38.950
It's not your fault though.
00:35:38.950 --> 00:35:42.486
(sighs)
00:35:45.254 --> 00:35:50.256
(typing)
00:35:56.367 --> 00:36:00.647
(computer blips)
00:36:40.878 --> 00:36:45.373
(alarm beeps)
00:36:45.373 --> 00:36:47.138
(sighs)
00:36:55.328 --> 00:36:56.436
(cell phone bloops)
00:36:58.124 --> 00:36:59.142
(sighs)
00:37:08.667 --> 00:37:12.231
(sighs)
00:37:15.308 --> 00:37:18.046
(muttering in sleep)
00:37:31.338 --> 00:37:34.552
(birds whistle)
00:37:35.205 --> 00:37:36.511
(sighs)
00:37:52.001 --> 00:37:53.226
Hey.
00:37:53.662 --> 00:37:56.047
Look, let me go first, all right?
I gotta get this out.
00:37:56.047 --> 00:37:57.956
Okay.
00:37:59.528 --> 00:38:02.255
(sighs) I never really had a dad.
00:38:02.255 --> 00:38:07.795
And my mom was an addict,
so I pretty much took care of myself.
00:38:07.795 --> 00:38:13.205
And I got used to being alone.
I got pretty good at it.
00:38:13.205 --> 00:38:16.984
But then I came here and I met Ted,
00:38:16.984 --> 00:38:19.748
and I met Key, and I met you.
00:38:19.748 --> 00:38:24.754
And I fell for you like that.
00:38:25.471 --> 00:38:30.653
And for the first time,
I didn't feel alone.
00:38:34.856 --> 00:38:36.507
And when I thought you were leaving,
00:38:36.507 --> 00:38:41.401
I should've been happy for you.
I should've, but...
00:38:41.401 --> 00:38:45.879
I was so scared of losing you
that I lashed out.
00:38:45.879 --> 00:38:50.380
And it was selfish, and it was horrible,
00:38:50.380 --> 00:38:53.224
and I'm so sorry that I hurt you, Jenny.
00:38:57.383 --> 00:38:58.482
(sighs)
00:39:05.899 --> 00:39:07.321
I'm glad you went first.
00:39:08.902 --> 00:39:10.256
Why, what were you going to say?
00:39:14.120 --> 00:39:18.510
(touching music)
00:39:24.074 --> 00:39:29.696
(groans) Well, the game jam's
almost over, Key.
00:39:29.696 --> 00:39:34.407
Okay, I guess you win.
Life really is meaningless, huh?
00:39:34.828 --> 00:39:37.715
(victory music)
00:39:38.255 --> 00:39:40.247
What?
00:39:44.067 --> 00:39:45.168
No!
00:39:46.137 --> 00:39:50.721
Wait, huh?
00:39:51.886 --> 00:39:53.327
What is that? (gasps)
00:39:57.090 --> 00:40:00.002
Oh! Oh my god! (gasps)
00:40:00.002 --> 00:40:07.341
Oh my god! (laughs)
Look this--this is awesome!
00:40:07.875 --> 00:40:10.735
Oh! I'm flying.
It's me.
00:40:10.735 --> 00:40:12.992
I'm flying!
I'm flying!
00:40:12.992 --> 00:40:14.478
Key, it's me.
I'm flying.
00:40:14.478 --> 00:40:19.304
Oh my god!
This game rules!
00:40:19.505 --> 00:40:20.621
(laughs)
00:40:20.621 --> 00:40:21.689
(gasps)
00:40:35.276 --> 00:40:38.678
That's the best game ever.
00:40:40.515 --> 00:40:41.871
(gasps)
00:40:46.791 --> 00:40:48.715
You're great, [Ari Wendell].
00:40:49.485 --> 00:40:53.005
Thanks, Key.
00:40:53.443 --> 00:40:56.849
Oh! (laughs)
00:41:00.548 --> 00:41:02.728
- What was that?
- It's nothing.
00:41:02.728 --> 00:41:04.956
Okay, now go clean the bathroom.
00:41:04.956 --> 00:41:06.153
(laughs)
00:41:06.153 --> 00:41:07.611
- Okay.
- I'm serious.
00:41:07.611 --> 00:41:08.779
Okay.
00:41:09.673 --> 00:41:10.737
It's this way.
00:41:11.457 --> 00:41:13.221
Smash Mouth signed a contract.
00:41:13.221 --> 00:41:14.984
If we re-neg, we owe them big.
00:41:14.984 --> 00:41:16.128
Fine, whatever.
00:41:16.128 --> 00:41:17.776
Just make sure they're
not in the teacher's lounge.
00:41:17.776 --> 00:41:19.562
- Anything else?
- I got something!
00:41:19.562 --> 00:41:22.635
Barnstormer!
00:41:22.635 --> 00:41:24.353
Hey, Calhoulligan.
00:41:24.353 --> 00:41:26.675
Just came by to give you the good news.
00:41:26.675 --> 00:41:30.206
Napalm broke 400. Hah!
00:41:30.206 --> 00:41:34.090
- [?] a champion.
- Awesome news, brother.
00:41:34.090 --> 00:41:36.716
Shane.
00:41:36.716 --> 00:41:41.015
Shane Barnstorm.
00:41:41.015 --> 00:41:42.766
Yeah, didn't I tell you?
00:41:42.766 --> 00:41:46.657
Oh wait, no.
I faked my own death.
00:41:46.657 --> 00:41:49.930
I changed my name to Pizza,
and then I took down
00:41:49.930 --> 00:41:51.528
your school from the inside.
00:41:51.528 --> 00:41:55.895
Oops. (mad chuckle)
00:41:55.895 --> 00:42:00.448
- (camera snaps)
- (laughter)
00:42:00.448 --> 00:42:01.706
What a face!
00:42:01.706 --> 00:42:04.195
You really should've taken that check.
00:42:06.770 --> 00:42:07.724
Fuck!
00:42:09.048 --> 00:42:10.506
Hey, guys, mind if we join?
00:42:10.506 --> 00:42:12.349
Heck yeah, we don't.
Sit down.
00:42:15.746 --> 00:42:16.975
(sighs)
00:42:17.833 --> 00:42:20.385
Well, looks like everything's
back to normal.
00:42:20.967 --> 00:42:23.568
Good morning, VGHS!
00:42:23.568 --> 00:42:26.715
I hope you're enjoying
that cafeteria breakfast
00:42:26.715 --> 00:42:32.469
because it's your last!
(mad laughter)
00:42:34.259 --> 00:42:37.617
(yelling)
00:42:38.752 --> 00:42:45.051
(students murmur)
00:42:51.948 --> 00:42:53.879
(student) Oh no!
00:42:56.045 --> 00:42:57.885
(screaming)
00:42:58.104 --> 00:43:00.987
(cackling)
00:43:11.224 --> 00:43:12.921
You cannot win!
00:43:13.735 --> 00:43:16.709
(cackling)
00:43:17.577 --> 00:43:23.119
(ominous music)