WEBVTT
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
This is outrageous!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
We're the best twin gamers in the world.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Did you not see us
at the Twin Cyber Olympics?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Nah, I did.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The answer's still no.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Mom, checkbook.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And Mr. Calhoun,
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm sure that a dirty old poor person
like you making 30 grand a year
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
could benefit from a little,
I don't know, check for $900,000?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(ripping)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(gasps)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You're right, mom.
They are bad with money.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
At first you weren't getting in
because you're 12
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and this is a high school,
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
but now you're never getting in
'cause you're terrible people.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Terrible? (giggles)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
If we're so terrible,
how come we get everything we want?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Exactly what a terrible person would say.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Please leave.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(scoffs) Fine, wanna play hardball?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Mom, buy his school for us.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Mom) Now, boys, I just bought
you an energy drink company to run.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(both) But mom!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(mom) Tell you what.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Get your stock up to $400 a share
and maybe we'll buy you VGHS.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You hear that, Calhoun?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- Hostile takeover.
- We're gonna buy your dumb school
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and throw you out on the street!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You'll rue the day you
ever said no to Ashton--
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And Shane.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Barnstormer!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Move over Napalm,
'cause Jock Juice has come to town!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
This is where your money belongs.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Teenagers are clapping
hard for Jock Juice.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Well, my win, as with all my wins,
can be attributed
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
solely to this delicious
beverage, Jock Juice.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Juice up your jocks with Jock Juice!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Slam it into your underpants
and feel the surge.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(sipping)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Jock Juice, uh!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Uh...uhhh...
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Okay, it's good.
It's good, it's a good beverage.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(school bell rings)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Next.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Name?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Shane.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Shane Pizza.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(bell clatters)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Whoo, lemme hear it ring!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Cool tattoo, nice shoes, up top!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Hey, back to work.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Do you wanna hear about how
the real world's the place for me?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Things looking out there
won't look better on the T.V. screen
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Is there a better way?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I don't care what you say.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I just wanna play!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
We all just wanna play!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Things will be all right
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Soon as I get back to school.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Well, here we go, guys.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Ted, you call us if you
need anything, okay?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yes, sir.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Swan for everything.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Especially Overdrift Rally Rash!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- (laughter)
- You guys are tops.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Sweetie, you take care.
I'm gonna miss you.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Of course.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Goodbye, parents.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
All right! The boys
and [?] are back in town.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Watch out, [?] and Jess.
We're comin' for ya!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Aw, come on, {?}.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The election was, like, forever ago.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Noone's gonna remember who you are.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And Brian, dude, come on.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You and Jenny, come on!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Dude!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I know, I know, you're right.
I just...I don't know.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I think I know what I gotta say to her,
and I'm nervous.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I hope she takes me back.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Did this school get bigger,
or did we get smaller?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(chuckles) Looks like
the same old VGHS to me.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Give it up for [Silver Sun ?], everybody.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That's why we come
to school on a Sunday, people.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Now, on to morning announcements.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Good news.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I noticed that the student fund
was getting a little low,
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
so I dug into my big ol' pizza pockets
and got some...drum roll please.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(drum roll)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
New computers for the social gamers!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Come on down, you guys.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(cheering)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Oh, man.
Don't they look happy.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(cheering)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Now, I didn't have to do that.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But I did.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Because we're all one big family.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You are my family.
You are mine!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You my mine, VGHS!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(cheering)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That's [hucking those omeleettes], }
gang smash mouth up next.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(cheering)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
What?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Oh, here she comes.
Way to go, Heather.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(gasps) God!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
God! No!
What? No running!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Please, no throwing stuff!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I-huh-hey!
Hey, [Key]!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- You're back.
- Yes.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- I see they've made you RA.
- Yeah, well, once you left
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
nobody wanted to take the job,
so I thought, "I'll do it!"
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Hey, hey.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Anywhos, so it's been really tough,
but you're back, so that's great.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Um...so...speaking of which,
you have bathroom duty today.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Uh, the girls, they say it's clean,
but they know I won't go in there,
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
so I think they're lying. (chuckles)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Will you-will you get that
done by tomorrow, please?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Nope.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Oh, come on!
Not you too, [Key].
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Why does nobody listen to me?! (whines)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It's because you're weak, [Wendell].
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- And the world preys on the weak.
- Guh!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
God, what's wrong with you?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I thought-I thought helping
people was your thing.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I have a new thing now.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
What?!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Wendell) You're getting
a frownie sticker, Key!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Go ahead.
I don't care.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Like crap you don't, Key Swan!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You invented the sticker system, okay?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You're the only one who cares
about it and-and if you don't clean
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the bathroom in 24 hours,
your name is getting a frownie sticker!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Wendell) 24 hours, Key!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(vrooming)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Brake! (imitates squealing wheels)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
What up, good people!
Who's ready to get their rally on...?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(man) Theodore!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Old friend!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You find us at our darkest hour.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Sorry about that whole "dad" thing.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
We got you a basket.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Oh, thanks.
What happened to your head?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The Dutchess of Fart and her
Fart Goons shaved it in my sleep!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
What?! Why?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
She thinks that if I have no hair
I won't want that coupon for that [farm].
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
They've been breaking us all week.
I think it's time we strike back.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Hide this in your pants.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I was really hoping we could play.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Oh, play later.
First...to war!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(heroic music)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Aw, man!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(explosions)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(gunfire)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Lieutenant, start the engine!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Sir, I can't solve this equation!
Do you know the variable?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I don't.
But maybe you do.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Okay, gang, master chief
can't fix his warthog
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
until we find the correct equation.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Anyone?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Uh, is the equation Jenny minus
Brian equals "Can I get a taste?"
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(laughter)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Get out, Sebastian.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- Worth a shot.
- (teacher) Out!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- It's X - 2.
- (chuckling)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm also smart.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(sighs)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Jenny, show us how it's done.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(sighs)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(explosion)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(laughter)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Nice going, craptain.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Can't even hit a variable.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(students "ooh")
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Keep missing, Jenny.
It's still funny.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Okay, that's enough.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yeah, so, I'm ditching.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Peace.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Don't miss the door on your way out!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Ooh!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(country music)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Oh, hey, [?].
I'm taking my break.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Go get her, kid.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(country music)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Hey, J-Jenny.
What's up, stranger?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Brian, you're back.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yeah, just hangin' out.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Well, what're you up to?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Just ditching class.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Uh-oh...cool, that's new for you.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yeah, so is being dumped
and made fun of by the entire school.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- Oh.
- Did you need something?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Uh, yeah.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I had a whole game plan, but...
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
but you just said...
I kinda gotta change it.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Um, listen.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I've had some time
to think about it and I'm sorry.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Okay, no. (sighs)
I'm sorry.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I just think that we should talk about us.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Brian, I don't even know what I
would say to you about "us" right now.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Uh, well for starters I was hoping
there could even be an us...
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and you're leaving.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(country music)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Um, so, what're we doing again?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Goddamn it, Tim!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
How many times do we
have to explain this?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
[Jefferson High] won
the Trivia Bowl last week,
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and the first place prize was one coupon
for a highlight and perm
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
at the Beyond Two Souls Beauty Salon.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(chains rattle)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I thought I deserved it.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
She thought differently.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
We quarreled and a Calhoun
took the coupon away.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
He won't give it back until
we decide on who gets it.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That's when the pranks began.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Um, okay.
So what do you want me to do?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Shoot her in the head.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Ew! Gum in the hair?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Dude, that's way gross and mean.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
We tried to take the high road,
but look what she's done to us?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Everything smells like super glue.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
What would you have us do, Ted?
Lie down and die?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- Well, no, but--
- Come on, dude.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You're the John Wilkes Booth
of sling shots.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
He's the guy that killed Lincoln.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You got this.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(sighs) Fine, okay, I'll do it.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Well, that's what friends are for, right?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That's the spirit, Ted!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Let's roll.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(heroic music)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Oh, already hard at work, I see. Huh?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
If you need more bleach,
there's...okay, what?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
What the heck is that?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Oh, didn't you hear?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I hosting a 24 hour
game design competition.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So much for bathroom duty.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Oh, nice try, Key!
But if you want to host
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
a school event, you're gonna need--
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Wavers, signed in triplicate by Calhoun.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Okay...um...fine, fine.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Once you're done, just go
clean the bathroom, okay?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
In 24 hours it will be Zoe's turn
to clean the bathroom.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So...I win.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(typing)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
What?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
This-This isn't you, Key!
Why are you being such a jerk?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Because life is meaningless.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- Huh.
- (typing)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I have a game to design,
so if you could just please leave.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Or stay and design a game.
It's a game jam.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(groans)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(sirens wail)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(gunfire)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Sushi_Princess wins.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(man) GTFO, Jenny!
You suck! (laughs)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You wanna come say that to my face?!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Oh, that's what I thought.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(girl) So, it really is you.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Who's asking?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The number one player
in that game you just sucked at.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You're Sushi_Princess?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
What happened to you, Matrix?
You used to be my hero.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You used to be the best.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Then Brian gave you cooties
and you've sucked ever since.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Okay, well, that is not fair.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- (spits)
- (gasps)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Life ain't fair!
Grow a pair.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Sushi_Princess.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I really like that kid.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(sarcastically) Yay, mom's here.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Come on, let's get a burger.
Pity party's over.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I did [the train] of memory
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Oh, what...
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I've lost her forever, old buddy.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
...reverie
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Ooh
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Ooh
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(ominous music)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(tribal wailing)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(tribal wailing)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(tribal drumming)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Go, crap!
They made us!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Wha-whoa-whoa! (grunts)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Good job, Ted.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Oh, my tail bone!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Dutchess) Well, well, well.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
His majesty's loyal lap dog.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Dutchess, I'm really sorry
about your hair.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Oh, uh...
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Well, in that case I guess
we're even, huh?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So truce peace?
Oh, please, Dutchess, please!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Please, please, I just back to school.
All I want is to play video games.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Ugh, Ted.
You're right.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You've had a tough week.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- Oh, that was very nice of you.
- Calhoun!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- Ted did it.
- Wha-?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
TED!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- (school bell rings)
- Detention for the rest of the day.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Calhoun, I swear it wasn't me.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Ted, I'm a grown man
with gum in my hair!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Someone's going down.
That someone is you.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- But--
- Spare me.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You and the Drifters have been
pulling this crap all year.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(sighs) Yes, sir.
I'm sorry, sir.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Look, I know it's tough,
what's happened with your dad.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And being a teen is hard, I guess.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But, dammit, grow up!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(rustling)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(fire alarm rings)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
This school better be on fire.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Don't move.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Well, what if it is on fire?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(phone rings)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Uh, Calhoun's office.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Ted, this is DK.
Get the coupon.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Bottom left drawer. Go!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- DK, I just got super in trouble!
- Get that coupon!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- (hangs up)
- GOD!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
BAH!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Key Swan!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
How do you make, um, video games?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
First rule: no talking.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Second rule: sit over there.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Okay.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Hello, knock, knock, knock!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Ding dong!
Hello?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(chuckles)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(sighs) What is this?
What're you doing?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Well, as Head RA, it is my duty
to help students in need.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And, Miss Swan, you need
to talk about your feels.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Hmm?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So I'm not going to leave
here until you do.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm an artist.
I don't talk.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I create.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Hey, what is this?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(owls hoot)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Huh. Hey, this is kinda cool.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
How do you jump?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- You can leave now.
- What, that's it?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You just walk until you let go
and then you die?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yep, that's the whole game.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But that's stupid!
What's the point of playing?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Exactly.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Oh my god, Key!
Please be more pretentious.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It's not pretentious, Wendell.
You're just too dumb to get it.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(mumbling) That's right, Wendell.
You're dumb.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(scoffs) Well then, I guess
dumb old Wendell will just have
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to play your dumb old game
until he figures it out.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
There's nothing to figure out, Wendell.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Well, then it's gonna be
a loooong 21 hours, Key.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- I'm outta here.
- Bye.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
How about some music?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(DJ) You're listening to NPR,
the [napalm] player report,
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and we're talking with Ashley Barnstormer.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Great timing, mom.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Speaking of timing, I was gonna
tell you this after class
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
but the commandos need me
back earlier than I thought.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
When do you leave?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The OTA's are Monday, so tomorrow.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Wow, that's great.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yeah, the new owners
have to flex their muscles.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- And since school is wrapping up--
- Mom, it's fine.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You know, you gotta go.
I get it.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Have fun.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Why are you touching me?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm...comforting you?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Is that a question?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You know, I'm trying to be a mom here.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yeah? Well, you're terrible at it.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yeah? Well...(stammers)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Your boyfriend dumped you.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(laughs) You know,
I don't even know why we try.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Wow.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- No!
- Yup.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Jenny! Wait!
Come back here.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Jenny!
Get back here!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Stop! Stop!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(shrieks)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- What?!
- You are stopping.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Okay, mom.
Here's your chance.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- Parent me.
- Oh, shit.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I don't know.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Listen, you don't need me here, okay?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You're one of the best
in the league and next year--
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Mom, I know, okay?
This isn't even about you.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Oh, thank god.
Wait?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- Then what's the problem?
- (sighs)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The problem is everything else!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
All right? I am an angry, unhappy person.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That's probably why I
punched Ashley in the face,
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and why I have no real friends,
and why I just ruined
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
my relationship with the only person
in my life who's ever really loved me.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Present company sort of excluded,
I guess, and dad, or...
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(grunts)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(sighs)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(train whistles)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Brian wants to get back together.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Which means that he hasn't realized
that I'm a total sociopath
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that cares more about
video games than people.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
When he does, he's gonna
wanna break up again,
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
which is exactly what I deserve,
'cause I'm a shitty person.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You're not a shitty person.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
How would you know that?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
A shitty person is a mom
that walks out on her husband
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and her little girl just to get
another trophy under her belt.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Not a 16 year old girl
with hopes and dreams.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Just the fact that you even care
about other people's feelings,
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that makes you, you know, fine.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(touching music)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm gonna miss you, kid.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Me too.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(sighs)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(breathes heavily)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(breathes heavily)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(breathes heavily)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Stop, stop that.
Stop doing that.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Sorry.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Just Brian messing up again like always.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Okay, what is it?
Spit it out.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(sighs)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It's just when Jenny and I broke up,
and I wanna fix it.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Or, I don't know,
maybe I don't.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Maybe I'm meant to be alone. (sighs)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I don't wanna die.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Calhoun, please.
I don't have a dad.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I just danced with my cat.
I need an adult.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- (sighs) Do you like her?
- Yes.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Are you in high school?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(puzzled) Yes.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Welcome to the wonderful world
of having no problems!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
No, no!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Calhoun, the problem is...
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
even if we get back together...
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I don't know.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm never gonna be the most
important thing in her life.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yeah, that's 'cause she's smarter
than most teenage girls, all right?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You're her high school boyfriend.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You should be happy she even talks to you.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- But--
- But.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- But.
- But.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But shut up, okay?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
This is your first relationship.
It's like your first car.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You're gonna go fast,
way too fast.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You're probably gonna wreck it.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So wear a seat belt and enjoy the ride.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Calhoun, I'm gonna be honest.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm trying to open up to you here,
but you're really not helping.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Maybe that's because I'm not the one
you should be opening up to.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Boom.
Nailed it.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(sighs) Hey, guys, I--
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Ah, Theodore.
You return.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And with my coupon, I see.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Well done!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You're playing my game without me.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(DK) Not anymore.
We're out of candy
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and we beat all the levels.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Before it expires?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
No.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Um, yes.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
No!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- I command you--
- I said NO.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- Ted--
- You ate my dead dad candy.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I am the drift king!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yeah, well maybe you shouldn't be.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Seriously, we do bad stuff
for you all the time,
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
but you don't care.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You only care about yourself.
You're not a king, dude.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You're a senior!
You're going to college next year.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Just grow the hell up!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(sighs) I could be a better king than you.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Is that a challenge, Ted?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yeah, it is.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I challenge you
for the title of Drift King.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I accept.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And when you race against king...
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(snaps finger)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
..you race against his kingdom.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Let's drift.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(revving engines)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(heavy metal music)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(tires squeal)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(engines rev)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(engine hums distantly)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(engine roars)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(birds whistle)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(engine roars)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(tires squeal)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(clock ticks)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(tires squeal)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Sorry, DK.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(tires squeal)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(tires squeal)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Oh!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(tires squeal)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The kingdom's yours, DK.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(sighs) Okay, Wendell.
I'm only talking to you
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
because you're sleeping.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And last week I burned my diary
to see what the ashes would look like.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Which was stupid.
I don't know why I did that.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I don't really know
what's happening to me.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You know I still have all my grandparents?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Ted's father is dead, but I still get
four sweaters for Christmas every year.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Which just seems really mean to me.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It's callous and random.
And then it's over.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I don't really know why
I'm playing anymore.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(whimpering in sleep)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It's not your fault though.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(sighs)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(typing)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(computer blips)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(alarm beeps)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(sighs)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(cell phone bloops)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(sighs)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(sighs)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(muttering in sleep)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(birds whistle)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(sighs)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Hey.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Look, let me go first, all right?
I gotta get this out.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Okay.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(sighs) I never really had a dad.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And my mom was an addict,
so I pretty much took care of myself.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And I got used to being alone.
I got pretty good at it.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But then I came here and I met Ted,
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and I met Key, and I met you.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And I fell for you like that.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And for the first time,
I didn't feel alone.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And when I thought you were leaving,
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I should've been happy for you.
I should've, but...
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I was so scared of losing you
that I lashed out.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And it was selfish, and it was horrible,
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and I'm so sorry that I hurt you, Jenny.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(sighs)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm glad you went first.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Why, what were you going to say?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(touching music)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(groans) Well, the game jam's
almost over, Key.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Okay, I guess you win.
Life really is meaningless, huh?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(victory music)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
What?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
No!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Wait, huh?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
What is that? (gasps)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Oh! Oh my god! (gasps)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Oh my god! (laughs)
Look this--this is awesome!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Oh! I'm flying.
It's me.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm flying!
I'm flying!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Key, it's me.
I'm flying.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Oh my god!
This game rules!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(laughs)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(gasps)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That's the best game ever.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(gasps)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You're great, [Ari Wendell].
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Thanks, Key.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Oh! (laughs)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- What was that?
- It's nothing.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Okay, now go clean the bathroom.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(laughs)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- Okay.
- I'm serious.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Okay.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It's this way.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Smash Mouth signed a contract.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
If we re-neg, we owe them big.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Fine, whatever.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Just make sure they're
not in the teacher's lounge.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- Anything else?
- I got something!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Barnstormer!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Hey, Calhoulligan.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Just came by to give you the good news.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Napalm broke 400. Hah!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- [?] a champion.
- Awesome news, brother.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Shane.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Shane Barnstorm.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yeah, didn't I tell you?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Oh wait, no.
I faked my own death.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I changed my name to Pizza,
and then I took down
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
your school from the inside.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Oops. (mad chuckle)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
- (camera snaps)
- (laughter)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
What a face!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You really should've taken that check.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Fuck!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Hey, guys, mind if we join?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Heck yeah, we don't.
Sit down.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(sighs)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Well, looks like everything's
back to normal.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Good morning, VGHS!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I hope you're enjoying
that cafeteria breakfast
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
because it's your last!
(mad laughter)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(yelling)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(students murmur)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(student) Oh no!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(screaming)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(cackling)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You cannot win!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(cackling)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(ominous music)