1
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
This is outrageous!
2
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
We're the best twin gamers in the world.
3
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Did you not see us
at the Twin Cyber Olympics?
4
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Nah, I did.
5
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The answer's still no.
6
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Mom, checkbook.
7
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And Mr. Calhoun,
8
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm sure that a dirty old poor person
like you making 30 grand a year
9
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
could benefit from a little,
I don't know, check for $900,000?
10
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(ripping)
11
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(gasps)
12
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You're right, mom.
They are bad with money.
13
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
At first you weren't getting in
because you're 12
14
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and this is a high school,
15
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
but now you're never getting in
'cause you're terrible people.
16
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Terrible? (giggles)
17
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
If we're so terrible,
how come we get everything we want?
18
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Exactly what a terrible person would say.
19
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Please leave.
20
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(scoffs) Fine, wanna play hardball?
21
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Mom, buy his school for us.
22
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Mom) Now, boys, I just bought
you an energy drink company to run.
23
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(both) But mom!
24
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(mom) Tell you what.
25
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Get your stock up to $400 a share
and maybe we'll buy you VGHS.
26
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You hear that, Calhoun?
27
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- Hostile takeover.
- We're gonna buy your dumb school
28
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and throw you out on the street!
29
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You'll rue the day you
ever said no to Ashton--
30
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And Shane.
31
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Barnstormer!
32
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Move over Napalm,
'cause Jock Juice has come to town!
33
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
This is where your money belongs.
34
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Teenagers are clapping
hard for Jock Juice.
35
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well, my win, as with all my wins,
can be attributed
36
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
solely to this delicious
beverage, Jock Juice.
37
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Juice up your jocks with Jock Juice!
38
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Slam it into your underpants
and feel the surge.
39
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sipping)
40
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Jock Juice, uh!
41
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Uh...uhhh...
42
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay, it's good.
It's good, it's a good beverage.
43
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(school bell rings)
44
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Next.
45
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Name?
46
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Shane.
47
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Shane Pizza.
48
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(bell clatters)
49
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Whoo, lemme hear it ring!
50
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Cool tattoo, nice shoes, up top!
51
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hey, back to work.
52
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Do you wanna hear about how
the real world's the place for me?
53
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Things looking out there
won't look better on the T.V. screen
54
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Is there a better way?
55
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I don't care what you say.
56
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I just wanna play!
57
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
We all just wanna play!
58
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Things will be all right
59
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Soon as I get back to school.
60
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well, here we go, guys.
61
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ted, you call us if you
need anything, okay?
62
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yes, sir.
63
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Swan for everything.
64
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Especially Overdrift Rally Rash!
65
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- (laughter)
- You guys are tops.
66
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Sweetie, you take care.
I'm gonna miss you.
67
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Of course.
68
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Goodbye, parents.
69
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
All right! The boys
and [?] are back in town.
70
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Watch out, [?] and Jess.
We're comin' for ya!
71
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Aw, come on, {?}.
72
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The election was, like, forever ago.
73
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Noone's gonna remember who you are.
74
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And Brian, dude, come on.
75
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You and Jenny, come on!
76
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Dude!
77
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I know, I know, you're right.
I just...I don't know.
78
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I think I know what I gotta say to her,
and I'm nervous.
79
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I hope she takes me back.
80
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Did this school get bigger,
or did we get smaller?
81
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(chuckles) Looks like
the same old VGHS to me.
82
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Give it up for [Silver Sun ?], everybody.
83
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That's why we come
to school on a Sunday, people.
84
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Now, on to morning announcements.
85
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Good news.
86
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I noticed that the student fund
was getting a little low,
87
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
so I dug into my big ol' pizza pockets
and got some...drum roll please.
88
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(drum roll)
89
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
New computers for the social gamers!
90
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Come on down, you guys.
91
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(cheering)
92
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, man.
Don't they look happy.
93
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(cheering)
94
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Now, I didn't have to do that.
95
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But I did.
96
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Because we're all one big family.
97
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You are my family.
You are mine!
98
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You my mine, VGHS!
99
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(cheering)
100
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That's [hucking those omeleettes], }
gang smash mouth up next.
101
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(cheering)
102
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What?
103
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, here she comes.
Way to go, Heather.
104
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(gasps) God!
105
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
God! No!
What? No running!
106
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Please, no throwing stuff!
107
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I-huh-hey!
Hey, [Key]!
108
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- You're back.
- Yes.
109
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- I see they've made you RA.
- Yeah, well, once you left
110
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
nobody wanted to take the job,
so I thought, "I'll do it!"
111
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hey, hey.
112
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Anywhos, so it's been really tough,
but you're back, so that's great.
113
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Um...so...speaking of which,
you have bathroom duty today.
114
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Uh, the girls, they say it's clean,
but they know I won't go in there,
115
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
so I think they're lying. (chuckles)
116
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Will you-will you get that
done by tomorrow, please?
117
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Nope.
118
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, come on!
Not you too, [Key].
119
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Why does nobody listen to me?! (whines)
120
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It's because you're weak, [Wendell].
121
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- And the world preys on the weak.
- Guh!
122
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
God, what's wrong with you?
123
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I thought-I thought helping
people was your thing.
124
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I have a new thing now.
125
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What?!
126
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Wendell) You're getting
a frownie sticker, Key!
127
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Go ahead.
I don't care.
128
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Like crap you don't, Key Swan!
129
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You invented the sticker system, okay?
130
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You're the only one who cares
about it and-and if you don't clean
131
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
the bathroom in 24 hours,
your name is getting a frownie sticker!
132
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Wendell) 24 hours, Key!
133
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(vrooming)
134
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Brake! (imitates squealing wheels)
135
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What up, good people!
Who's ready to get their rally on...?
136
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(man) Theodore!
137
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Old friend!
138
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You find us at our darkest hour.
139
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Sorry about that whole "dad" thing.
140
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
We got you a basket.
141
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, thanks.
What happened to your head?
142
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The Dutchess of Fart and her
Fart Goons shaved it in my sleep!
143
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What?! Why?
144
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
She thinks that if I have no hair
I won't want that coupon for that [farm].
145
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
They've been breaking us all week.
I think it's time we strike back.
146
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hide this in your pants.
147
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I was really hoping we could play.
148
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, play later.
First...to war!
149
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(heroic music)
150
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Aw, man!
151
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(explosions)
152
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(gunfire)
153
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Lieutenant, start the engine!
154
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Sir, I can't solve this equation!
Do you know the variable?
155
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I don't.
But maybe you do.
156
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay, gang, master chief
can't fix his warthog
157
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
until we find the correct equation.
158
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Anyone?
159
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Uh, is the equation Jenny minus
Brian equals "Can I get a taste?"
160
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(laughter)
161
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Get out, Sebastian.
162
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- Worth a shot.
- (teacher) Out!
163
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- It's X - 2.
- (chuckling)
164
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm also smart.
165
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sighs)
166
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Jenny, show us how it's done.
167
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sighs)
168
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(explosion)
169
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(laughter)
170
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Nice going, craptain.
171
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Can't even hit a variable.
172
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(students "ooh")
173
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Keep missing, Jenny.
It's still funny.
174
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay, that's enough.
175
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yeah, so, I'm ditching.
176
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Peace.
177
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Don't miss the door on your way out!
178
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ooh!
179
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(country music)
180
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, hey, [?].
I'm taking my break.
181
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Go get her, kid.
182
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(country music)
183
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hey, J-Jenny.
What's up, stranger?
184
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Brian, you're back.
185
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yeah, just hangin' out.
186
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well, what're you up to?
187
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Just ditching class.
188
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Uh-oh...cool, that's new for you.
189
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yeah, so is being dumped
and made fun of by the entire school.
190
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- Oh.
- Did you need something?
191
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Uh, yeah.
192
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I had a whole game plan, but...
193
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
but you just said...
I kinda gotta change it.
194
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Um, listen.
195
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I've had some time
to think about it and I'm sorry.
196
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay, no. (sighs)
I'm sorry.
197
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I just think that we should talk about us.
198
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Brian, I don't even know what I
would say to you about "us" right now.
199
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Uh, well for starters I was hoping
there could even be an us...
200
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and you're leaving.
201
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(country music)
202
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Um, so, what're we doing again?
203
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Goddamn it, Tim!
204
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
How many times do we
have to explain this?
205
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Jefferson High] won
the Trivia Bowl last week,
206
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and the first place prize was one coupon
for a highlight and perm
207
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
at the Beyond Two Souls Beauty Salon.
208
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(chains rattle)
209
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I thought I deserved it.
210
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
She thought differently.
211
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
We quarreled and a Calhoun
took the coupon away.
212
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
He won't give it back until
we decide on who gets it.
213
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That's when the pranks began.
214
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Um, okay.
So what do you want me to do?
215
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Shoot her in the head.
216
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ew! Gum in the hair?
217
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Dude, that's way gross and mean.
218
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
We tried to take the high road,
but look what she's done to us?
219
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Everything smells like super glue.
220
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What would you have us do, Ted?
Lie down and die?
221
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- Well, no, but--
- Come on, dude.
222
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You're the John Wilkes Booth
of sling shots.
223
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
He's the guy that killed Lincoln.
224
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You got this.
225
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sighs) Fine, okay, I'll do it.
226
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well, that's what friends are for, right?
227
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That's the spirit, Ted!
228
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Let's roll.
229
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(heroic music)
230
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, already hard at work, I see. Huh?
231
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
If you need more bleach,
there's...okay, what?
232
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What the heck is that?
233
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, didn't you hear?
234
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I hosting a 24 hour
game design competition.
235
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So much for bathroom duty.
236
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, nice try, Key!
But if you want to host
237
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
a school event, you're gonna need--
238
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Wavers, signed in triplicate by Calhoun.
239
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay...um...fine, fine.
240
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Once you're done, just go
clean the bathroom, okay?
241
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
In 24 hours it will be Zoe's turn
to clean the bathroom.
242
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So...I win.
243
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(typing)
244
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What?
245
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
This-This isn't you, Key!
Why are you being such a jerk?
246
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Because life is meaningless.
247
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- Huh.
- (typing)
248
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I have a game to design,
so if you could just please leave.
249
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Or stay and design a game.
It's a game jam.
250
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(groans)
251
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sirens wail)
252
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(gunfire)
253
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Sushi_Princess wins.
254
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(man) GTFO, Jenny!
You suck! (laughs)
255
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You wanna come say that to my face?!
256
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, that's what I thought.
257
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(girl) So, it really is you.
258
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Who's asking?
259
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The number one player
in that game you just sucked at.
260
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You're Sushi_Princess?
261
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What happened to you, Matrix?
You used to be my hero.
262
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You used to be the best.
263
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Then Brian gave you cooties
and you've sucked ever since.
264
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay, well, that is not fair.
265
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- (spits)
- (gasps)
266
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Life ain't fair!
Grow a pair.
267
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Sushi_Princess.
268
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I really like that kid.
269
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sarcastically) Yay, mom's here.
270
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Come on, let's get a burger.
Pity party's over.
271
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I did [the train] of memory
272
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, what...
273
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I've lost her forever, old buddy.
274
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
...reverie
275
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ooh
276
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ooh
277
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(ominous music)
278
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(tribal wailing)
279
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(tribal wailing)
280
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(tribal drumming)
281
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Go, crap!
They made us!
282
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Wha-whoa-whoa! (grunts)
283
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Good job, Ted.
284
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, my tail bone!
285
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Dutchess) Well, well, well.
286
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
His majesty's loyal lap dog.
287
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Dutchess, I'm really sorry
about your hair.
288
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, uh...
289
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well, in that case I guess
we're even, huh?
290
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So truce peace?
Oh, please, Dutchess, please!
291
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Please, please, I just back to school.
All I want is to play video games.
292
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ugh, Ted.
You're right.
293
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You've had a tough week.
294
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- Oh, that was very nice of you.
- Calhoun!
295
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- Ted did it.
- Wha-?
296
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
TED!
297
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- (school bell rings)
- Detention for the rest of the day.
298
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Calhoun, I swear it wasn't me.
299
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ted, I'm a grown man
with gum in my hair!
300
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Someone's going down.
That someone is you.
301
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- But--
- Spare me.
302
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You and the Drifters have been
pulling this crap all year.
303
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sighs) Yes, sir.
I'm sorry, sir.
304
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Look, I know it's tough,
what's happened with your dad.
305
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And being a teen is hard, I guess.
306
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But, dammit, grow up!
307
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(rustling)
308
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(fire alarm rings)
309
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
This school better be on fire.
310
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Don't move.
311
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well, what if it is on fire?
312
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(phone rings)
313
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Uh, Calhoun's office.
314
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ted, this is DK.
Get the coupon.
315
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Bottom left drawer. Go!
316
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- DK, I just got super in trouble!
- Get that coupon!
317
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- (hangs up)
- GOD!
318
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
BAH!
319
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Key Swan!
320
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
How do you make, um, video games?
321
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
First rule: no talking.
322
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Second rule: sit over there.
323
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay.
324
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hello, knock, knock, knock!
325
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ding dong!
Hello?
326
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(chuckles)
327
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sighs) What is this?
What're you doing?
328
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well, as Head RA, it is my duty
to help students in need.
329
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And, Miss Swan, you need
to talk about your feels.
330
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hmm?
331
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So I'm not going to leave
here until you do.
332
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm an artist.
I don't talk.
333
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I create.
334
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hey, what is this?
335
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(owls hoot)
336
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Huh. Hey, this is kinda cool.
337
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
How do you jump?
338
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- You can leave now.
- What, that's it?
339
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You just walk until you let go
and then you die?
340
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yep, that's the whole game.
341
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But that's stupid!
What's the point of playing?
342
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Exactly.
343
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh my god, Key!
Please be more pretentious.
344
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It's not pretentious, Wendell.
You're just too dumb to get it.
345
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(mumbling) That's right, Wendell.
You're dumb.
346
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(scoffs) Well then, I guess
dumb old Wendell will just have
347
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
to play your dumb old game
until he figures it out.
348
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
There's nothing to figure out, Wendell.
349
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well, then it's gonna be
a loooong 21 hours, Key.
350
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- I'm outta here.
- Bye.
351
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
How about some music?
352
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(DJ) You're listening to NPR,
the [napalm] player report,
353
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and we're talking with Ashley Barnstormer.
354
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Great timing, mom.
355
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Speaking of timing, I was gonna
tell you this after class
356
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
but the commandos need me
back earlier than I thought.
357
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
When do you leave?
358
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The OTA's are Monday, so tomorrow.
359
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Wow, that's great.
360
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yeah, the new owners
have to flex their muscles.
361
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- And since school is wrapping up--
- Mom, it's fine.
362
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You know, you gotta go.
I get it.
363
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Have fun.
364
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Why are you touching me?
365
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm...comforting you?
366
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Is that a question?
367
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You know, I'm trying to be a mom here.
368
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yeah? Well, you're terrible at it.
369
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yeah? Well...(stammers)
370
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Your boyfriend dumped you.
371
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(laughs) You know,
I don't even know why we try.
372
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Wow.
373
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- No!
- Yup.
374
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Jenny! Wait!
Come back here.
375
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Jenny!
Get back here!
376
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Stop! Stop!
377
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(shrieks)
378
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- What?!
- You are stopping.
379
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay, mom.
Here's your chance.
380
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- Parent me.
- Oh, shit.
381
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I don't know.
382
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Listen, you don't need me here, okay?
383
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You're one of the best
in the league and next year--
384
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Mom, I know, okay?
This isn't even about you.
385
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, thank god.
Wait?
386
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- Then what's the problem?
- (sighs)
387
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The problem is everything else!
388
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
All right? I am an angry, unhappy person.
389
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That's probably why I
punched Ashley in the face,
390
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and why I have no real friends,
and why I just ruined
391
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
my relationship with the only person
in my life who's ever really loved me.
392
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Present company sort of excluded,
I guess, and dad, or...
393
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(grunts)
394
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sighs)
395
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(train whistles)
396
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Brian wants to get back together.
397
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Which means that he hasn't realized
that I'm a total sociopath
398
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
that cares more about
video games than people.
399
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
When he does, he's gonna
wanna break up again,
400
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
which is exactly what I deserve,
'cause I'm a shitty person.
401
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You're not a shitty person.
402
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
How would you know that?
403
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
A shitty person is a mom
that walks out on her husband
404
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and her little girl just to get
another trophy under her belt.
405
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Not a 16 year old girl
with hopes and dreams.
406
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Just the fact that you even care
about other people's feelings,
407
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
that makes you, you know, fine.
408
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(touching music)
409
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm gonna miss you, kid.
410
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Me too.
411
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sighs)
412
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(breathes heavily)
413
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(breathes heavily)
414
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(breathes heavily)
415
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Stop, stop that.
Stop doing that.
416
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Sorry.
417
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Just Brian messing up again like always.
418
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay, what is it?
Spit it out.
419
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sighs)
420
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It's just when Jenny and I broke up,
and I wanna fix it.
421
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Or, I don't know,
maybe I don't.
422
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Maybe I'm meant to be alone. (sighs)
423
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I don't wanna die.
424
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Calhoun, please.
I don't have a dad.
425
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I just danced with my cat.
I need an adult.
426
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- (sighs) Do you like her?
- Yes.
427
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Are you in high school?
428
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(puzzled) Yes.
429
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Welcome to the wonderful world
of having no problems!
430
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
No, no!
431
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Calhoun, the problem is...
432
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
even if we get back together...
433
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I don't know.
434
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm never gonna be the most
important thing in her life.
435
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yeah, that's 'cause she's smarter
than most teenage girls, all right?
436
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You're her high school boyfriend.
437
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You should be happy she even talks to you.
438
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- But--
- But.
439
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- But.
- But.
440
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But shut up, okay?
441
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
This is your first relationship.
It's like your first car.
442
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You're gonna go fast,
way too fast.
443
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You're probably gonna wreck it.
444
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So wear a seat belt and enjoy the ride.
445
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Calhoun, I'm gonna be honest.
446
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm trying to open up to you here,
but you're really not helping.
447
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Maybe that's because I'm not the one
you should be opening up to.
448
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Boom.
Nailed it.
449
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sighs) Hey, guys, I--
450
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ah, Theodore.
You return.
451
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And with my coupon, I see.
452
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well done!
453
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You're playing my game without me.
454
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(DK) Not anymore.
We're out of candy
455
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and we beat all the levels.
456
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Before it expires?
457
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
No.
458
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Um, yes.
459
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
No!
460
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- I command you--
- I said NO.
461
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- Ted--
- You ate my dead dad candy.
462
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I am the drift king!
463
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yeah, well maybe you shouldn't be.
464
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Seriously, we do bad stuff
for you all the time,
465
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
but you don't care.
466
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You only care about yourself.
You're not a king, dude.
467
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You're a senior!
You're going to college next year.
468
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Just grow the hell up!
469
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sighs) I could be a better king than you.
470
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Is that a challenge, Ted?
471
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yeah, it is.
472
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I challenge you
for the title of Drift King.
473
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I accept.
474
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And when you race against king...
475
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(snaps finger)
476
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
..you race against his kingdom.
477
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Let's drift.
478
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(revving engines)
479
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(heavy metal music)
480
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(tires squeal)
481
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(engines rev)
482
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(engine hums distantly)
483
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(engine roars)
484
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(birds whistle)
485
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(engine roars)
486
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(tires squeal)
487
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(clock ticks)
488
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(tires squeal)
489
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Sorry, DK.
490
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(tires squeal)
491
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(tires squeal)
492
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh!
493
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(tires squeal)
494
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The kingdom's yours, DK.
495
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sighs) Okay, Wendell.
I'm only talking to you
496
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
because you're sleeping.
497
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And last week I burned my diary
to see what the ashes would look like.
498
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Which was stupid.
I don't know why I did that.
499
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I don't really know
what's happening to me.
500
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You know I still have all my grandparents?
501
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ted's father is dead, but I still get
four sweaters for Christmas every year.
502
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Which just seems really mean to me.
503
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It's callous and random.
And then it's over.
504
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I don't really know why
I'm playing anymore.
505
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(whimpering in sleep)
506
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It's not your fault though.
507
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sighs)
508
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(typing)
509
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(computer blips)
510
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(alarm beeps)
511
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sighs)
512
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(cell phone bloops)
513
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sighs)
514
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sighs)
515
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(muttering in sleep)
516
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(birds whistle)
517
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sighs)
518
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hey.
519
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Look, let me go first, all right?
I gotta get this out.
520
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay.
521
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sighs) I never really had a dad.
522
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And my mom was an addict,
so I pretty much took care of myself.
523
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And I got used to being alone.
I got pretty good at it.
524
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But then I came here and I met Ted,
525
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and I met Key, and I met you.
526
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And I fell for you like that.
527
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And for the first time,
I didn't feel alone.
528
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And when I thought you were leaving,
529
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I should've been happy for you.
I should've, but...
530
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I was so scared of losing you
that I lashed out.
531
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And it was selfish, and it was horrible,
532
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and I'm so sorry that I hurt you, Jenny.
533
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sighs)
534
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm glad you went first.
535
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Why, what were you going to say?
536
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(touching music)
537
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(groans) Well, the game jam's
almost over, Key.
538
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay, I guess you win.
Life really is meaningless, huh?
539
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(victory music)
540
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What?
541
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
No!
542
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Wait, huh?
543
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What is that? (gasps)
544
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh! Oh my god! (gasps)
545
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh my god! (laughs)
Look this--this is awesome!
546
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh! I'm flying.
It's me.
547
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm flying!
I'm flying!
548
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Key, it's me.
I'm flying.
549
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh my god!
This game rules!
550
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(laughs)
551
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(gasps)
552
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That's the best game ever.
553
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(gasps)
554
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You're great, [Ari Wendell].
555
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Thanks, Key.
556
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh! (laughs)
557
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- What was that?
- It's nothing.
558
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay, now go clean the bathroom.
559
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(laughs)
560
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- Okay.
- I'm serious.
561
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay.
562
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It's this way.
563
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Smash Mouth signed a contract.
564
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
If we re-neg, we owe them big.
565
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Fine, whatever.
566
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Just make sure they're
not in the teacher's lounge.
567
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- Anything else?
- I got something!
568
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Barnstormer!
569
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hey, Calhoulligan.
570
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Just came by to give you the good news.
571
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Napalm broke 400. Hah!
572
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- [?] a champion.
- Awesome news, brother.
573
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Shane.
574
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Shane Barnstorm.
575
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yeah, didn't I tell you?
576
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh wait, no.
I faked my own death.
577
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I changed my name to Pizza,
and then I took down
578
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
your school from the inside.
579
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oops. (mad chuckle)
580
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- (camera snaps)
- (laughter)
581
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What a face!
582
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You really should've taken that check.
583
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Fuck!
584
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hey, guys, mind if we join?
585
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Heck yeah, we don't.
Sit down.
586
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sighs)
587
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well, looks like everything's
back to normal.
588
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Good morning, VGHS!
589
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I hope you're enjoying
that cafeteria breakfast
590
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
because it's your last!
(mad laughter)
591
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(yelling)
592
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(students murmur)
593
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(student) Oh no!
594
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(screaming)
595
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(cackling)
596
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You cannot win!
597
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(cackling)
598
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(ominous music)