1
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
This is outrageous!

2
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
We're the best twin gamers in the world.

3
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Did you not see us 
at the Twin Cyber Olympics?

4
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Nah, I did.

5
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The answer's still no.

6
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Mom, checkbook.

7
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And Mr. Calhoun,

8
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm sure that a dirty old poor person 
like you making 30 grand a year

9
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
could benefit from a little, 
I don't know, check for $900,000?

10
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(ripping)

11
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(gasps)

12
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You're right, mom.
They <i>are</i> bad with money.

13
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
At first you weren't getting in
because you're 12

14
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and this is a high school,

15
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
but now you're never getting in
'cause you're terrible people.

16
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Terrible? (giggles)

17
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
If we're so terrible,
how come we get everything we want?

18
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Exactly what a terrible person would say.

19
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Please leave.

20
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(scoffs) Fine, wanna play hardball?

21
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Mom, buy his school for us.

22
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Mom) Now, boys, I just bought
you an energy drink company to run.

23
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(both) But mom!

24
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(mom) Tell you what.

25
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Get your stock up to $400 a share
and maybe we'll buy you VGHS.

26
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You hear that, Calhoun?

27
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- Hostile takeover.
- We're gonna buy your dumb school

28
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and throw you out on the street!

29
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You'll rue the day you 
ever said no to Ashton--

30
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And Shane.

31
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Barnstormer!

32
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Move over Napalm, 
'cause Jock Juice has come to town!

33
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
This is where your money belongs.

34
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Teenagers are clapping 
hard for Jock Juice.

35
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well, my win, as with all my wins,
can be attributed

36
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
solely to this delicious 
beverage, Jock Juice.

37
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Juice up your jocks with Jock Juice!

38
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Slam it into your underpants 
and feel the surge.

39
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sipping)

40
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Jock Juice, uh!

41
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Uh...uhhh...

42
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay, it's good.
It's good, it's a good beverage.

43
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(school bell rings)

44
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Next.

45
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Name?

46
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Shane.

47
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Shane Pizza.

48
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(bell clatters)

49
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Whoo, lemme hear it ring!

50
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Cool tattoo, nice shoes, up top!

51
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hey, back to work.

52
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Do you wanna hear about how 
the real world's the place for me?

53
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Things looking out there 
won't look better on the T.V. screen

54
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Is there a better way?

55
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I don't care what you say.

56
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I just wanna play!

57
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
We all just wanna play!

58
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Things will be all right

59
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Soon as I get back to school.

60
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well, here we go, guys.

61
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ted, you call us if you 
need anything, okay?

62
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yes, sir.

63
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Swan for everything.

64
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Especially Overdrift Rally Rash!

65
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- (laughter)
- You guys are tops.

66
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Sweetie, you take care.
I'm gonna miss you.

67
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Of course.

68
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Goodbye, parents.

69
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
All right! The boys 
and [?] are back in town.

70
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Watch out, [?] and Jess.
We're comin' for ya!

71
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Aw, come on, {?}.

72
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The election was, like, forever ago.

73
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Noone's gonna remember who you are.

74
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And Brian, dude, come on.

75
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You and Jenny, come on!

76
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Dude!

77
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I know, I know, you're right.
I just...I don't know.

78
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I think I know what I gotta say to her,
and I'm nervous.

79
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I hope she takes me back.

80
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Did this school get bigger,
or did we get smaller?

81
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(chuckles) Looks like 
the same old VGHS to me.

82
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Give it up for [Silver Sun ?], everybody.

83
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That's why we come 
to school on a Sunday, people.

84
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Now, on to morning announcements.

85
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Good news.

86
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I noticed that the student fund
was getting a little low,

87
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
so I dug into my big ol' pizza pockets
and got some...drum roll please.

88
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(drum roll)

89
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
New computers for the social gamers!

90
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Come on down, you guys.

91
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(cheering)

92
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, man.
Don't they look happy.

93
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(cheering)

94
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Now, I didn't have to do that.

95
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But I did.

96
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Because we're all one big family.

97
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You are my family.
You are mine!

98
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You my mine, VGHS!

99
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(cheering)

100
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That's [hucking those omeleettes], }
gang smash mouth up next.

101
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(cheering)

102
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What?

103
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, here she comes.
Way to go, Heather.

104
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(gasps) God!

105
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
God! No!
What? No running!

106
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Please, no throwing stuff!

107
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I-huh-hey!
Hey, [Key]!

108
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- You're back.
- Yes.

109
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- I see they've made you RA.
- Yeah, well, once you left

110
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
nobody wanted to take the job,
so I thought, "I'll do it!"

111
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hey, hey.

112
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Anywhos, so it's been really tough,
but you're back, so that's great.

113
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Um...so...speaking of which,
you have bathroom duty today.

114
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Uh, the girls, they say it's clean,
but they know I won't go in there,

115
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
so I think they're lying. (chuckles)

116
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Will you-will you get that 
done by tomorrow, please?

117
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Nope.

118
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, come on!
Not you too, [Key].

119
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Why does nobody listen to me?! (whines)

120
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It's because you're weak, [Wendell].

121
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- And the world preys on the weak.
- Guh!

122
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
God, what's wrong with you?

123
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I thought-I thought helping 
people was your thing.

124
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I have a new thing now.

125
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What?!

126
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Wendell) You're getting 
a frownie sticker, Key!

127
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Go ahead.
I don't care.

128
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Like crap you don't, Key Swan!

129
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You invented the sticker system, okay?

130
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You're the only one who cares 
about it and-and if you don't clean

131
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
the bathroom in 24 hours,
your name is getting a frownie sticker!

132
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Wendell) 24 hours, Key!

133
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(vrooming)

134
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Brake! (imitates squealing wheels)

135
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What up, good people!
Who's ready to get their rally on...?

136
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(man) Theodore!

137
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Old friend!

138
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You find us at our darkest hour.

139
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Sorry about that whole "dad" thing.

140
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
We got you a basket.

141
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, thanks.
What happened to your head?

142
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The Dutchess of Fart and her 
Fart Goons shaved it in my sleep!

143
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What?! Why?

144
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
She thinks that if I have no hair
I won't want that coupon for that [farm].

145
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
They've been breaking us all week.
I think it's time we strike back.

146
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hide this in your pants.

147
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I was really hoping we could play.

148
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, play later.
First...to war!

149
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(heroic music)

150
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Aw, man!

151
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(explosions)

152
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(gunfire)

153
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
<i>Lieutenant, start the engine!</i>

154
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Sir, I can't solve this equation!
Do you know the variable?

155
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I don't.
But maybe you do.

156
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay, gang, master chief 
can't fix his warthog

157
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
until we find the correct equation.

158
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Anyone?

159
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Uh, is the equation Jenny minus 
Brian equals "Can I get a taste?"

160
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(laughter)

161
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Get out, Sebastian.

162
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- Worth a shot.
- (teacher) Out!

163
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- It's X - 2.
- (chuckling)

164
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm also smart.

165
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sighs)

166
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Jenny, show us how it's done.

167
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sighs)

168
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(explosion)

169
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(laughter)

170
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Nice going, <i>craptain</i>.

171
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Can't even hit a variable.

172
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(students "ooh")

173
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Keep missing, Jenny.
It's still funny.

174
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay, that's enough.

175
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yeah, so, I'm ditching.

176
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Peace.

177
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Don't miss the door on your way out!

178
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ooh!

179
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(country music)

180
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, hey, [?].
I'm taking my break.

181
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Go get her, kid.

182
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(country music)

183
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hey, J-Jenny.
What's up, stranger?

184
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Brian, you're back.

185
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yeah, just hangin' out.

186
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well, what're you up to?

187
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Just ditching class.

188
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Uh-oh...cool, that's new for you.

189
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yeah, so is being dumped 
and made fun of by the entire school.

190
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- Oh.
- Did you need something?

191
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Uh, yeah.

192
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I had a whole game plan, but...

193
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
but you just said...
I kinda gotta change it.

194
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Um, listen.

195
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I've had some time 
to think about it and I'm sorry.

196
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay, no. (sighs)
I'm sorry.

197
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I just think that we should talk about us.

198
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Brian, I don't even know what I 
would say to you about "us" right now.

199
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Uh, well for starters I was hoping 
there could even be an us...

200
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and you're leaving.

201
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(country music)

202
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Um, so, what're we doing again?

203
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Goddamn it, Tim!

204
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
How many times do we 
have to explain this?

205
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
[Jefferson High] won 
the Trivia Bowl last week,

206
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and the first place prize was one coupon 
for a highlight and perm

207
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
at the Beyond Two Souls Beauty Salon.

208
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(chains rattle)

209
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I thought I deserved it.

210
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
She thought differently.

211
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
We quarreled and a Calhoun 
took the coupon away.

212
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
He won't give it back until 
we decide on who gets it.

213
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That's when the pranks began.

214
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Um, okay.
So what do you want me to do?

215
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Shoot her in the head.

216
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ew! Gum in the hair?

217
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Dude, that's way gross and mean.

218
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
We tried to take the high road,
but look what she's done to us?

219
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Everything smells like super glue.

220
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What would you have us do, Ted?
Lie down and die?

221
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- Well, no, but--
- Come on, dude.

222
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You're the John Wilkes Booth 
of sling shots.

223
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
He's the guy that killed Lincoln.

224
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You got this.

225
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sighs) Fine, okay, I'll do it.

226
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well, that's what friends are for, right?

227
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That's the spirit, Ted!

228
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Let's roll.

229
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(heroic music)

230
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, already hard at work, I see. Huh?

231
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
If you need more bleach, 
there's...okay, what?

232
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What the heck is that?

233
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, didn't you hear?

234
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I hosting a 24 hour 
game design competition.

235
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So much for bathroom duty.

236
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, nice try, Key!
But if you want to host

237
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
a school event, you're gonna need--

238
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Wavers, signed in triplicate by Calhoun.

239
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay...um...fine, fine.

240
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Once you're done, just go 
clean the bathroom, okay?

241
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
In 24 hours it will be Zoe's turn 
to clean the bathroom.

242
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So...I win.

243
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(typing)

244
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What?

245
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
This-This isn't you, Key!
Why are you being such a jerk?

246
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Because life is meaningless.

247
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- Huh.
- (typing)

248
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I have a game to design,
so if you could just please leave.

249
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Or stay and design a game.
It's a game jam.

250
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(groans)

251
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sirens wail)

252
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(gunfire)

253
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
<i>Sushi_Princess wins.</i>

254
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(man) GTFO, Jenny! 
You suck! (laughs)

255
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You wanna come say that to my face?!

256
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, that's what I thought.

257
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(girl) So, it really is you.

258
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Who's asking?

259
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The number one player 
in that game you just sucked at.

260
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You're Sushi_Princess?

261
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What happened to you, Matrix?
You used to be my hero.

262
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You used to be the best.

263
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Then Brian gave you cooties 
and you've sucked ever since.

264
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay, well, that is not fair.

265
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- (spits)
- (gasps)

266
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Life ain't fair!
Grow a pair.

267
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Sushi_Princess.

268
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I really like that kid.

269
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sarcastically) Yay, mom's here.

270
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Come on, let's get a burger.
Pity party's over.

271
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I did [the train] of memory

272
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, what...

273
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I've lost her forever, old buddy.

274
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
...reverie

275
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ooh

276
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ooh

277
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(ominous music)

278
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(tribal wailing)

279
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(tribal wailing)

280
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(tribal drumming)

281
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Go, crap!
They made us!

282
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Wha-whoa-whoa! (grunts)

283
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Good job, Ted.

284
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, my tail bone!

285
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Dutchess) Well, well, well.

286
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
His majesty's loyal lap dog.

287
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Dutchess, I'm really sorry
about your hair.

288
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, uh...

289
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well, in that case I guess 
we're even, huh?

290
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So truce peace?
Oh, please, Dutchess, please!

291
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Please, please, I just back to school.
All I want is to play video games.

292
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ugh, Ted.
You're right.

293
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You've had a tough week.

294
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- Oh, that was very nice of you.
- Calhoun!

295
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- Ted did it.
- Wha-?

296
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
TED!

297
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- (school bell rings)
- Detention for the rest of the day.

298
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Calhoun, I swear it wasn't me.

299
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ted, I'm a grown man
with gum in my hair!

300
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Someone's going down.
That someone is you.

301
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- But--
- Spare me.

302
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You and the Drifters have been 
pulling this crap all year.

303
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sighs) Yes, sir.
I'm sorry, sir.

304
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Look, I know it's tough,
what's happened with your dad.

305
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And being a teen is hard, I guess.

306
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But, dammit, grow up!

307
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(rustling)

308
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(fire alarm rings)

309
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
This school better be on fire.

310
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Don't move.

311
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well, what if it is on fire?

312
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(phone rings)

313
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Uh, Calhoun's office.

314
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
<i>Ted, this is DK.</i>
<i>Get the coupon.</i>

315
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
<i>Bottom left drawer. Go!</i>

316
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- DK, I just got super in trouble!
- <i>Get that coupon!</i>

317
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- (hangs up)
- GOD!

318
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
BAH!

319
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Key Swan!

320
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
How do you make, um, video games?

321
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
First rule: no talking.

322
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Second rule: sit over there.

323
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay.

324
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hello, knock, knock, knock!

325
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ding dong!
Hello?

326
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(chuckles)

327
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sighs) What is this?
What're you doing?

328
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well, as Head RA, it is my duty
to help students in need.

329
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And, Miss Swan, you need 
to talk about your feels.

330
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hmm?

331
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So I'm not going to leave
here until you do.

332
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm an artist.
I don't talk.

333
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I create.

334
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hey, what is this?

335
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
<i>(owls hoot)</i>

336
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Huh. Hey, this is kinda cool.

337
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
How do you jump?

338
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- You can leave now.
- What, that's it?

339
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You just walk until you let go 
and then you die?

340
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yep, that's the whole game.

341
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But that's stupid!
What's the point of playing?

342
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Exactly.

343
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh my god, Key!
Please be more pretentious.

344
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It's not pretentious, Wendell.
You're just too dumb to get it.

345
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(mumbling) That's right, Wendell.
You're dumb.

346
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(scoffs) Well then, I guess 
dumb old Wendell will just have

347
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
to play your dumb old game 
until he figures it out.

348
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
There's nothing to figure out, Wendell.

349
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well, then it's gonna be 
a loooong 21 hours, Key.

350
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- I'm outta here.
- Bye.

351
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
How about some music?

352
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
<i>(DJ) You're listening to NPR,</i>
<i>the [napalm] player report,</i>

353
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
<i>and we're talking with Ashley Barnstormer.</i>

354
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Great timing, mom.

355
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Speaking of timing, I was gonna 
tell you this after class

356
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
but the commandos need me 
back earlier than I thought.

357
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
When do you leave?

358
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The OTA's are Monday, so tomorrow.

359
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Wow, that's great.

360
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yeah, the new owners 
have to flex their muscles.

361
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- And since school is wrapping up--
- Mom, it's fine.

362
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You know, you gotta go.
I get it.

363
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Have fun.

364
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Why are you touching me?

365
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm...comforting you?

366
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Is that a question?

367
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You know, I'm trying to be a mom here.

368
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yeah? Well, you're terrible at it.

369
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yeah? Well...(stammers)

370
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Your boyfriend dumped you.

371
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(laughs) You know, 
I don't even know why we try.

372
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Wow.

373
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- No!
- Yup.

374
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Jenny! Wait!
Come back here.

375
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Jenny!
Get back here!

376
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Stop! Stop!

377
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(shrieks)

378
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- What?!
- You are stopping.

379
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay, mom.
Here's your chance.

380
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- Parent me.
- Oh, shit.

381
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I don't know.

382
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Listen, you don't need me here, okay?

383
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You're one of the best 
in the league and next year--

384
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Mom, I know, okay?
This isn't even about you.

385
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh, thank god.
Wait?

386
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- Then what's the problem?
- (sighs)

387
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The problem is everything else!

388
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
All right? I am an angry, unhappy person.

389
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That's probably why I 
punched Ashley in the face,

390
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and why I have no real friends,
and why I just ruined

391
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
my relationship with the only person
in my life who's ever really loved me.

392
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Present company sort of excluded, 
I guess, and dad, or...

393
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(grunts)

394
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sighs)

395
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(train whistles)

396
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Brian wants to get back together.

397
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Which means that he hasn't realized 
that I'm a total sociopath

398
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
that cares more about 
video games than people.

399
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
When he does, he's gonna 
wanna break up again,

400
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
which is exactly what I deserve,
'cause I'm a shitty person.

401
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You're not a shitty person.

402
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
How would you know that?

403
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
A shitty person is a mom 
that walks out on her husband

404
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and her little girl just to get 
another trophy under her belt.

405
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Not a 16 year old girl
with hopes and dreams.

406
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Just the fact that you even care 
about other people's feelings,

407
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
that makes you, you know, fine.

408
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(touching music)

409
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm gonna miss you, kid.

410
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Me too.

411
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sighs)

412
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(breathes heavily)

413
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(breathes heavily)

414
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(breathes heavily)

415
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Stop, stop that.
Stop doing that.

416
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Sorry.

417
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Just Brian messing up again like always.

418
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay, what is it?
Spit it out.

419
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(sighs)

420
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It's just when Jenny and I broke up,
and I wanna fix it.

421
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Or, I don't know,
maybe I don't.

422
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Maybe I'm meant to be alone. (sighs)

423
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I don't wanna die.

424
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Calhoun, please.
I don't have a dad.

425
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I just danced with my cat.
I need an adult.

426
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- (sighs) Do you like her?
- Yes.

427
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Are you in high school?

428
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(puzzled) Yes.

429
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Welcome to the wonderful world 
of having no problems!

430
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
No, no!

431
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Calhoun, the problem is...

432
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
even if we get back together...

433
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I don't know.

434
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm never gonna be the most 
important thing in her life.

435
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yeah, that's 'cause she's smarter 
than most teenage girls, all right?

436
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You're her high school boyfriend.

437
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You should be happy she even talks to you.

438
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- But--
- But.

439
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
- But.
- But.

440
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But shut up, okay?

441
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
This is your first relationship.
It's like your first car.

442
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You're gonna go fast,
way too fast.

443
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You're probably gonna wreck it.

444
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So wear a seat belt and enjoy the ride.

445
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Calhoun, I'm gonna be honest.

446
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm trying to open up to you here,
but you're really not helping.

447
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Maybe that's because I'm not the one 
you should be opening up to.

448
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Boom.
Nailed it.