WEBVTT
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Part of me wanted to film this video from the inside of a closet,
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so then it could be "Awkward stories from the closet, from the closet!"
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but then I thought that'd be too much effort.
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And I'd probably get a leg cramp
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and I'd get claustrophobic
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So, please just appreciate the thought.
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I made a video where I talked about what it was
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like growing up as a young, secret, gay.
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And all the awkward moments that came with that
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and a lot of you in the comments where like "MORE!!"
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So, I've delved into my brain,
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found some truly cursed memories, that I'd repressed
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and I'm here to share them with you them- you- you- them- them to you!!
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music
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Hypnosis
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Ok, so I was about 13 and I had a friend
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(A friend! Remember what that was like?)
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We'll call him "Dwayne", or if I was up North
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he would be (in northern accent) Dwayne.
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He was one of those kids, who would always bug me
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to go stay over at his house for a sleepover.
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And I'd always think of excuses like,
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"My horse is pregnant." Horse nosie
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Eventually, he whittled me down
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and I was like "Fine, Dwayne."
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"I'll stay at your house."
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What's the worse that could happen?
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Famous last words.
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So after a school day,
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I trundled over to..."trundled?" is that a word?
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I went over to Dwanye's house
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and that's when things got weird.
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He told me that on the internet
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he'd found a completely real way
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to hypnotise people.
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Yep.
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Let's just let that sink in
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that's one of the first things he said to me
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when I got to his house.
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Not like "Do you want some toast?"
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Deep and slow "I found a true way to hypnotise people."
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I'm the kind of person if you told me
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you'd written gullible on the ceiling,
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I'd look up.
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So at that age, course I believed him!
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100 percent
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But before we began, he looked at me and said:
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"When I'm hynotised,
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you can make me do anything."
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"Like you could make me kiss you or something,
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which would be SO GROSS
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but I'd do it cause I was hypnotised
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and I wouldn't remember anything."
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Ok?
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So being the completely...
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clueless,
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"gulibeast" that I was.
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I didn't realise he was shooting his shot,
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and hoping for a cheeky kiss
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and this was his weird way of getting
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through the gay barrier.
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I was like "Yeah fair enough."
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"I could make you do anything."
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"Cause this is totally real."
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So then we got to the hypnosis part
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which was super weird.
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I don't know if he'd written this
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or actually found something weird on the internet.
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I think it started with just
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staring at each other for 5 minutes
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which was kinda awkward
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and then it was like,
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"Imagine you're at the seaside,
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imagine you are a sandcastle,
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imagine you are a sand."
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So Dwayne, great actor actually,
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started to go a bit crosseyed like,
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"Ooo Phil, I think it might be working."
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And then after a few more sandcastlely words
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he just stood in the middle of his bedroom
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with his eyes closed pretending to be hypnotised
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like...
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In his head probably thinking
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"This is the moment,
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I'm gonna get my kiss!"
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And I said...
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"Be a sheep."
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Yep, laughs I said get down on all fours
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and pretend to be a sheep.
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So props to him, he went full into this
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He was just going around on all fours
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in his bedroom just "Baa-ring" into the sky
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for about 5 minutes.
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Probably in his head thinking:
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"This isn't what was supposed to happen!"
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So yeah, I don't think that was what he
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was going for laughs with the
hypnosis game.
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And I didn't stay at his house again.
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Wonder if he still thinks about that?
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Maybe he'll watch this video.
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Hi Dwayne.
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I fell like that was more of an awkward
closeted story for him.
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Rather than me laughs
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Maybe he should be making this video.
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Train Guy
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So this was in the early days of Youtube
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and I was on a train home from Manchester
to York, going back to Uni.
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And towards the end of the journey,
it was just me and some
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cute, alternative looking
guy left in the train carriage.
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We'll call him...Blaine.
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All I remember