Part of me wanted to film this video from the inside of a closet,
so then it could be "Awkward stories from the closet, from the closet!"
but then I thought that'd be too much effort.
And I'd probably get a leg cramp
and I'd get claustrophobic
So, please just appreciate the thought.
I made a video where I talked about what it was
like growing up as a young, secret, gay.
And all the awkward moments that came with that
and a lot of you in the comments where like "MORE!!"
So, I've delved into my brain,
found some truly cursed memories, that I'd repressed
and I'm here to share them with you them- you- you- them- them to you!!
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Hypnosis
Ok, so I was about 13 and I had a friend
(A friend! Remember what that was like?)
We'll call him "Dwayne", or if I was up North
he would be (in northern accent) Dwayne.
He was one of those kids, who would always bug me
to go stay over at his house for a sleepover.
And I'd always think of excuses like,
"My horse is pregnant." Horse nosie
Eventually, he whittled me down
and I was like "Fine, Dwayne."
"I'll stay at your house."
What's the worse that could happen?
Famous last words.
So after a school day,
I trundled over to..."trundled?" is that a word?
I went over to Dwanye's house
and that's when things got weird.
He told me that on the internet
he'd found a completely real way
to hypnotise people.
Yep.
Let's just let that sink in
that's one of the first things he said to me
when I got to his house.
Not like "Do you want some toast?"
Deep and slow "I found a true way to hypnotise people."
I'm the kind of person if you told me
you'd written gullible on the ceiling,
I'd look up.
So at that age, course I believed him!
100 percent
But before we began, he looked at me and said:
"When I'm hynotised,
you can make me do anything."
"Like you could make me kiss you or something,
which would be SO GROSS
but I'd do it cause I was hypnotised
and I wouldn't remember anything."
Ok?
So being the completely...
clueless,
"gulibeast" that I was.
I didn't realise he was shooting his shot,
and hoping for a cheeky kiss
and this was his weird way of getting
through the gay barrier.
I was like "Yeah fair enough."
"I could make you do anything."
"Cause this is totally real."
So then we got to the hypnosis part
which was super weird.
I don't know if he'd written this
or actually found something weird on the internet.
I think it started with just
staring at each other for 5 minutes
which was kinda awkward
and then it was like,
"Imagine you're at the seaside,
imagine you are a sandcastle,
imagine you are a sand."
So Dwayne, great actor actually,
started to go a bit crosseyed like,
"Ooo Phil, I think it might be working."
And then after a few more sandcastlely words
he just stood in the middle of his bedroom
with his eyes closed pretending to be hypnotised
like...
In his head probably thinking
"This is the moment,
I'm gonna get my kiss!"
And I said...
"Be a sheep."
Yep, laughs I said get down on all fours
and pretend to be a sheep.
So props to him, he went full into this
He was just going around on all fours
in his bedroom just "Baa-ring" into the sky
for about 5 minutes.
Probably in his head thinking:
"This isn't what was supposed to happen!"
So yeah, I don't think that was what he
was going for laughs with the hypnosis game.
And I didn't stay at his house again.
Wonder if he still thinks about that?
Maybe he'll watch this video.
Hi Dwayne.
I fell like that was more of an awkward closeted story for him.
Rather than me laughs
Maybe he should be making this video.
Train Guy
So this was in the early days of Youtube
and I was on a train home from Manchester to York, going back to Uni.
And towards the end of the journey, it was just me and some
cute, alternative looking guy left in the train carriage.
We'll call him...Blaine.
All I remember