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Part of me wanted to film this video from the inside of a closet,

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so then it could be "Awkward stories from the closet, from the closet!"

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but then I thought that'd be too much effort.

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And I'd probably get a leg cramp

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and I'd get claustrophobic

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So, please just appreciate the thought.

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I made a video where I talked about what it was

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like growing up as a young, secret, gay.

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And all the awkward moments that came with that

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and a lot of you in the comments where like "MORE!!"

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So, I've delved into my brain,

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found some truly cursed memories, that I'd repressed

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and I'm here to share them with you them- you- you- them- them to you!!

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<i>music</i>

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Hypnosis

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Ok, so I was about 13 and I had a friend

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(A friend! Remember what that was like?)

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We'll call him "Dwayne", or if I was up North

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he would be (<i>in northern accent</i>) Dwayne.

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He was one of those kids, who would always bug me

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to go stay over at his house for a sleepover.

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And I'd always think of excuses like,

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"My horse is pregnant." <i>Horse nosie</i>

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Eventually, he whittled me down

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and I was like "Fine, Dwayne."

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"I'll stay at your house."

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What's the worse that could happen?

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Famous last words.

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So after a school day,

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I trundled over to..."trundled?" is that a word?

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I went over to Dwanye's house

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and that's when things got weird.

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He told me that on the internet

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he'd found a completely real way

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to hypnotise people.

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Yep.

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Let's just let that sink in

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that's one of the first things he said to me

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when I got to his house.

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Not like "Do you want some toast?"

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<i>Deep and slow</i> "I found a true way to hypnotise people."

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I'm the kind of person if you told me

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you'd written gullible on the ceiling,

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I'd look up.

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So at that age, course I believed him!

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100 percent

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But before we began, he looked at me and said:

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"When I'm hynotised,

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you can make me do anything."

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"Like you could make me kiss you or something,

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which would be SO GROSS

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but I'd do it cause I was hypnotised

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and I wouldn't remember anything."

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Ok?

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So being the completely...

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clueless,

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"gulibeast" that I was.

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I didn't realise he was shooting his shot,

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and hoping for a cheeky kiss

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and this was his weird way of getting

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through the gay barrier.

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I was like "Yeah fair enough."

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"I could make you do anything."

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"Cause this is totally real."

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So then we got to the hypnosis part

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which was super weird.

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I don't know if he'd written this

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or actually found something weird on the internet.

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I think it started with just

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staring at each other for 5 minutes

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which was kinda awkward

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and then it was like,

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"Imagine you're at the seaside,

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imagine you are a sandcastle,

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imagine you are a sand."

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So Dwayne, great actor actually,

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started to go a bit crosseyed like,

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"Ooo Phil, I think it might be working."

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And then after a few more sandcastlely words

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he just stood in the middle of his bedroom

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with his eyes closed pretending to be hypnotised

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like...

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In his head probably thinking

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"This is the moment,

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I'm gonna get my kiss!"

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And I said...

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"Be a sheep."

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Yep, <i>laughs</i> I said get down on all fours

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and pretend to be a sheep.

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So props to him, he went full into this

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He was just going around on all fours

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in his bedroom just "Baa-ring" into the sky

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for about 5 minutes.

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Probably in his head thinking:

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"This isn't what was supposed to happen!"

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So yeah, I don't think that was what he

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was going for <i>laughs</i> with the
hypnosis game.

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And I didn't stay at his house again.

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Wonder if he still thinks about that?

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Maybe he'll watch this video.

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Hi Dwayne.

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I fell like that was more of an awkward
closeted story for him.

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Rather than me <i>laughs</i>

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Maybe he should be making this video.

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Train Guy

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So this was in the early days of Youtube

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and I was on a train home from Manchester
to York, going back to Uni.

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And towards the end of the journey,
it was just me and some

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cute, alternative looking
guy left in the train carriage.

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We'll call him...Blaine.

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All I remember