0:00:10.060,0:00:14.076
Today I stand before you[br]as a man who lives life to the full

0:00:14.100,0:00:15.340
in the here and now.

0:00:16.580,0:00:18.236
But for a long time,

0:00:18.260,0:00:19.460
I lived for death.

0:00:21.220,0:00:22.836
I was a young man who believed

0:00:22.860,0:00:27.420
that jihad is to be understood[br]in the language of force and violence.

0:00:30.060,0:00:33.300
I tried to right wrongs[br]through power and aggression.

0:00:37.240,0:00:41.680
I had deep concerns[br]for the suffering of others

0:00:42.560,0:00:45.800
and a strong desire[br]to help and bring relief to them.

0:00:48.920,0:00:52.256
I thought violent jihad was noble,

0:00:52.280,0:00:53.616
chivalrous

0:00:53.640,0:00:54.960
and the best way to help.

0:00:57.440,0:00:59.336
At a time when so many of our people --

0:00:59.360,0:01:00.616
young people especially --

0:01:00.640,0:01:02.200
are at risk of radicalization

0:01:03.200,0:01:04.896
through groups like al-Qaeda,

0:01:04.920,0:01:06.760
Islamic State and others,

0:01:07.680,0:01:09.136
when these groups are claiming

0:01:09.160,0:01:14.216
that their horrific brutality[br]and violence are true jihad,

0:01:14.240,0:01:18.416
I want to say that their idea[br]of jihad is wrong --

0:01:18.440,0:01:19.776
completely wrong --

0:01:19.800,0:01:21.000
as was mine, then.

0:01:23.000,0:01:25.360
Jihad means to strive to one's utmost.

0:01:26.240,0:01:29.256
It includes exertion and spirituality,

0:01:29.280,0:01:30.776
self-purification

0:01:30.800,0:01:32.000
and devotion.

0:01:34.280,0:01:37.056
It refers to positive transformation

0:01:37.080,0:01:41.176
through learning, wisdom[br]and remembrance of God.

0:01:41.200,0:01:44.440
The word jihad stands[br]for all those meanings as a whole.

0:01:46.720,0:01:51.136
Jihad may at times[br]take the form of fighting,

0:01:51.160,0:01:52.360
but only sometimes,

0:01:53.000,0:01:54.720
under strict conditions,

0:01:56.000,0:01:57.960
within rules and limits.

0:01:59.640,0:02:00.856
In Islam,

0:02:00.880,0:02:05.880
the benefit of an act must outweigh[br]the harm or hardship it entails.

0:02:07.040,0:02:08.776
More importantly,

0:02:08.800,0:02:13.536
the verses in the Koran[br]that are connected to jihad or fighting

0:02:13.560,0:02:19.136
do not cancel out the verses[br]that talk about forgiveness,

0:02:19.160,0:02:20.456
benevolence

0:02:20.480,0:02:21.680
or patience.

0:02:25.120,0:02:29.696
But now I believe that there are[br]no circumstances on earth

0:02:29.720,0:02:32.296
where violent jihad is permissible,

0:02:32.320,0:02:35.000
because it will lead to greater harm.

0:02:37.600,0:02:40.096
But now the idea of jihad[br]has been hijacked.

0:02:40.120,0:02:43.456
It has been perverted[br]to mean violent struggle

0:02:43.480,0:02:46.456
wherever Muslims[br]are undergoing difficulties,

0:02:46.480,0:02:48.376
and turned into terrorism

0:02:48.400,0:02:51.456
by fascistic Islamists like al-Qaeda,

0:02:51.480,0:02:53.040
Islamic State and others.

0:02:54.080,0:02:56.056
But I have come to understand

0:02:56.080,0:03:00.016
that true jihad[br]means striving to the utmost

0:03:00.040,0:03:03.400
to strengthen and live[br]those qualities which God loves:

0:03:04.240,0:03:06.576
honesty, trustworthiness,

0:03:06.600,0:03:08.696
compassion, benevolence,

0:03:08.720,0:03:10.616
reliability, respect,

0:03:10.640,0:03:12.016
truthfulness --

0:03:12.040,0:03:15.160
human values that so many of us share.

0:03:18.160,0:03:20.016
I was born in Bangladesh,

0:03:20.040,0:03:21.469
but grew up mostly in England.

0:03:22.280,0:03:23.519
And I went to school here.

0:03:24.280,0:03:26.576
My father was an academic,

0:03:26.600,0:03:28.680
and we were in the UK through his work.

0:03:30.160,0:03:34.640
In 1971 we were in Bangladesh[br]when everything changed.

0:03:36.040,0:03:39.576
The War of Independence[br]impacted upon us terribly,

0:03:39.600,0:03:41.456
pitting family against family,

0:03:41.480,0:03:43.176
neighbor against neighbor.

0:03:43.200,0:03:46.056
And at the age of 12 I experienced war,

0:03:46.080,0:03:47.680
destitution in my family,

0:03:48.520,0:03:51.760
the deaths of 22[br]of my relatives in horrible ways,

0:03:52.760,0:03:55.560
as well as the murder of my elder brother.

0:03:58.840,0:04:00.600
I witnessed killing ...

0:04:02.800,0:04:05.616
animals feeding on corpses in the streets,

0:04:05.640,0:04:07.376
starvation all around me,

0:04:07.400,0:04:09.536
wanton, horrific violence --

0:04:09.560,0:04:10.760
senseless violence.

0:04:14.080,0:04:15.816
I was a young man,

0:04:15.840,0:04:18.776
teenager, fascinated by ideas.

0:04:18.800,0:04:20.616
I wanted to learn,

0:04:20.640,0:04:22.688
but I could not go to school[br]for four years.

0:04:24.560,0:04:26.016
After the War of Independence,

0:04:26.040,0:04:28.520
my father was put in prison[br]for two and a half years,

0:04:29.639,0:04:32.160
and I used to visit him[br]every week in prison,

0:04:32.920,0:04:34.400
and homeschooled myself.

0:04:35.880,0:04:38.440
My father was released in 1973

0:04:39.320,0:04:41.896
and he fled to England as a refugee,

0:04:41.920,0:04:43.160
and we soon followed him.

0:04:44.520,0:04:46.176
I was 17.

0:04:46.200,0:04:48.656
So these experiences gave me

0:04:48.680,0:04:52.480
a sharp awareness of the atrocities[br]and injustices in the world.

0:04:54.120,0:04:55.936
And I had a strong desire --

0:04:55.960,0:04:57.976
a very keen, deep desire --

0:04:58.000,0:04:59.216
to right wrongs

0:04:59.240,0:05:00.907
and help the victims of oppression.

0:05:02.400,0:05:04.336
While studying at college in the UK,

0:05:04.360,0:05:09.840
I met others who showed me[br]how I could channel that desire

0:05:10.520,0:05:12.240
and help through my religion.

0:05:13.520,0:05:14.816
And I was radicalized --

0:05:14.840,0:05:18.280
enough to consider violence correct,

0:05:19.440,0:05:21.800
even a virtue under certain circumstances.

0:05:24.120,0:05:27.336
So I became involved[br]in the jihad in Afghanistan.

0:05:27.360,0:05:31.920
I wanted to protect the Muslim Afghan[br]population against the Soviet army.

0:05:32.760,0:05:35.136
And I thought that was jihad:

0:05:35.160,0:05:36.656
my sacred duty,

0:05:36.680,0:05:38.400
which would be rewarded by God.

0:05:43.680,0:05:45.680
I became a preacher.

0:05:47.760,0:05:52.856
I was one of the pioneers[br]of violent jihad in the UK.

0:05:52.880,0:05:54.376
I recruited,

0:05:54.400,0:05:56.080
I raised funds, I trained.

0:05:57.160,0:05:59.696
I confused true jihad

0:05:59.720,0:06:03.720
with this perversion[br]as presented by the fascist Islamists --

0:06:05.480,0:06:08.536
these people who use the idea of jihad

0:06:08.560,0:06:12.440
to justify their lust for power,[br]authority and control on earth:

0:06:13.545,0:06:17.856
a perversion perpetuated today[br]by fascist Islamist groups

0:06:17.880,0:06:20.760
like al-Qaeda, Islamic State and others.

0:06:22.240,0:06:24.080
For a period of around 15 years,

0:06:24.080,0:06:27.619
I fought for short periods of time

0:06:27.740,0:06:29.476
in Kashmir and Burma,

0:06:29.500,0:06:30.820
besides Afghanistan.

0:06:31.200,0:06:33.920
Our aim was to remove the invaders,

0:06:34.960,0:06:38.040
to bring relief to the oppressed victims

0:06:39.080,0:06:42.216
and of course to establish[br]an Islamic state,

0:06:42.240,0:06:43.960
a caliphate for God's rule.

0:06:44.920,0:06:46.120
And I did this openly.

0:06:47.380,0:06:49.495
I didn't break any laws.

0:06:49.640,0:06:52.736
I was proud and grateful to be British --

0:06:52.760,0:06:54.336
I still am.

0:06:54.360,0:06:58.000
And I bore no hostility[br]against this, my country,

0:06:59.060,0:07:02.596
nor enmity towards[br]the non-Muslim citizens,

0:07:02.620,0:07:04.020
and I still don't.

0:07:06.940,0:07:09.316
During one battle in Afghanistan,

0:07:09.340,0:07:12.220
some British men and I[br]formed a special bond

0:07:13.060,0:07:15.796
with a 15-year-old Afghani boy,

0:07:15.820,0:07:17.020
Abdullah,

0:07:17.940,0:07:20.276
an innocent, loving and lovable kid

0:07:20.300,0:07:22.340
who was always eager to please.

0:07:24.060,0:07:25.260
He was poor.

0:07:25.860,0:07:28.580
And boys like him[br]did menial tasks in the camp.

0:07:29.580,0:07:30.866
And he seemed happy enough,

0:07:31.580,0:07:32.996
but I couldn't help wonder --

0:07:33.020,0:07:34.925
his parents must have missed him dearly.

0:07:36.660,0:07:40.220
And they must have dreamt[br]about a better future for him.

0:07:42.660,0:07:45.476
A victim of circumstance[br]caught up in a war,

0:07:45.500,0:07:46.780
cruelly thrust upon him

0:07:47.820,0:07:50.060
by the cruel circumstances of the time.

0:07:53.780,0:07:58.500
One day I picked up this unexploded[br]mortar shell in a trench,

0:07:59.420,0:08:03.220
and I had it deposited[br]in a makeshift mud hut lab.

0:08:04.380,0:08:07.316
And I went out on a short,[br]pointless skirmish --

0:08:07.340,0:08:08.540
always pointless,

0:08:09.540,0:08:12.980
And I came back a few hours later[br]to discover he was dead.

0:08:14.260,0:08:17.036
He had tried to recover[br]explosives from that shell.

0:08:17.060,0:08:19.660
It exploded, and he died a violent death,

0:08:20.540,0:08:24.820
blown to bits by the very same device[br]that had proved harmless to me.

0:08:26.180,0:08:27.700
So I started to question.

0:08:29.700,0:08:33.419
How did his death serve any purpose?

0:08:35.380,0:08:37.380
Why did he die and I lived?

0:08:38.658,0:08:40.155
I carried on.

0:08:40.179,0:08:41.796
I fought in Kashmir.

0:08:41.820,0:08:44.516
I also recruited for the Philippines,

0:08:44.540,0:08:46.340
Bosnia and Chechnya.

0:08:47.658,0:08:48.940
And the questions grew.

0:08:50.980,0:08:52.876
Later in Burma,

0:08:52.900,0:08:55.236
I came across Rohingya fighters,

0:08:55.260,0:08:57.516
who were barely teenagers,

0:08:57.540,0:08:59.196
born and brought up in the jungle,

0:08:59.220,0:09:01.280
carrying machine guns[br]and grenade launchers.

0:09:05.100,0:09:10.300
I met two 13-year-olds[br]with soft manners and gentle voices.

0:09:12.020,0:09:13.236
Looking at me,

0:09:13.260,0:09:15.340
they begged me[br]to take them away to England.

0:09:21.820,0:09:23.700
They simply wanted to go to school --

0:09:24.780,0:09:26.100
that was their dream.

0:09:29.460,0:09:30.676
My family --

0:09:30.700,0:09:32.156
my children of the same age --

0:09:32.180,0:09:34.140
were living at home in the UK,

0:09:35.140,0:09:36.436
going to school,

0:09:36.460,0:09:37.660
living a safe life.

0:09:38.980,0:09:40.236
And I couldn't help wonder

0:09:40.260,0:09:43.716
how much these young boys[br]must have spoken to one another

0:09:43.740,0:09:45.940
about their dreams for such a life.

0:09:48.020,0:09:49.940
Victims of circumstances:

0:09:51.460,0:09:52.740
these two young boys,

0:09:53.420,0:09:56.476
sleeping rough on the ground,[br]looking up at the stars,

0:09:56.500,0:09:58.996
cynically exploited by their leaders

0:09:59.020,0:10:01.500
for their personal lust[br]for glory and power.

0:10:03.020,0:10:06.236
I soon witnessed boys like them[br]killing one another

0:10:06.260,0:10:08.500
in conflicts between rival groups.

0:10:10.500,0:10:12.860
And it was the same everywhere ...

0:10:14.380,0:10:16.876
Afghanistan, Kashmir, Burma,

0:10:16.900,0:10:18.380
Philippines, Chechnya;

0:10:19.340,0:10:23.956
petty warlords got the young[br]and vulnerable to kill one another

0:10:23.980,0:10:25.300
in the name of jihad.

0:10:27.340,0:10:29.180
Muslims against Muslims.

0:10:30.740,0:10:35.116
Not protecting anyone[br]against invaders or occupiers;

0:10:35.140,0:10:37.140
not bringing relief to the oppressed.

0:10:39.340,0:10:40.716
Children being used,

0:10:40.740,0:10:42.356
cynically exploited;

0:10:42.380,0:10:44.316
people dying in conflicts

0:10:44.340,0:10:47.380
which I was supporting[br]in the name of jihad.

0:10:50.020,0:10:51.660
And it still carries on today.

0:10:56.900,0:11:00.516
Realizing that the violent jihad

0:11:00.540,0:11:04.740
I had engaged in abroad

0:11:06.540,0:11:08.580
was so different --

0:11:10.380,0:11:15.116
such a chasm between[br]what I had experienced

0:11:15.140,0:11:16.940
and what I thought was sacred duty --

0:11:17.740,0:11:20.700
I had to reflect[br]on my activities here in the UK.

0:11:23.340,0:11:25.396
I had to consider my preaching,

0:11:25.420,0:11:26.956
recruiting, fund-raising,

0:11:26.980,0:11:28.556
training,

0:11:28.580,0:11:30.700
but most importantly, radicalizing --

0:11:31.740,0:11:33.956
sending young people to fight and die

0:11:33.980,0:11:35.196
as I was doing --

0:11:35.220,0:11:36.980
all totally wrong.

0:11:40.780,0:11:43.980
So I got involved[br]in violent jihad in the mid '80s,

0:11:45.060,0:11:46.540
starting with Afghanistan.

0:11:47.400,0:11:50.680
And by the time I finished[br]it was in the year 2000.

0:11:51.140,0:11:52.716
I was completely immersed in it.

0:11:52.740,0:11:54.676
All around me people supported,

0:11:54.700,0:11:55.916
applauded,

0:11:55.940,0:11:58.340
even celebrated what[br]we were doing in their name.

0:12:00.260,0:12:02.076
But by the time I learned to get out,

0:12:02.100,0:12:04.716
completely disillusioned in the year 2000,

0:12:04.740,0:12:06.420
15 years had passed.

0:12:09.300,0:12:10.540
So what goes wrong?

0:12:12.820,0:12:15.660
We were so busy talking about virtue,

0:12:17.260,0:12:20.420
and we were blinded by a cause.

0:12:24.340,0:12:28.620
And we did not give ourselves a chance[br]to develop a virtuous character.

0:12:29.780,0:12:33.916
We told ourselves[br]we were fighting for the oppressed,

0:12:33.940,0:12:36.140
but these were unwinnable wars.

0:12:37.820,0:12:41.436
We became the very instrument[br]through which more deaths occurred,

0:12:41.460,0:12:45.196
complicit in causing further misery

0:12:45.220,0:12:47.820
for the selfish benefit of the cruel few.

0:12:48.780,0:12:49.996
So over time,

0:12:50.020,0:12:51.220
a very long time,

0:12:53.100,0:12:54.300
I opened my eyes.

0:12:56.460,0:12:57.940
I began to dare

0:12:59.540,0:13:01.196
to face the truth,

0:13:01.220,0:13:02.420
to think,

0:13:03.860,0:13:05.996
to face the hard questions.

0:13:06.020,0:13:08.220
I got in touch with my soul.

0:13:18.580,0:13:19.900
What have I learned?

0:13:21.140,0:13:25.700
That people who engage[br]in violent jihadism,

0:13:27.460,0:13:30.060
that people who are drawn[br]to these types of extremisms,

0:13:31.100,0:13:33.300
are not that different to everyone else.

0:13:34.380,0:13:37.180
But I believe such people can change.

0:13:38.620,0:13:41.476
They can regain their hearts[br]and restore them

0:13:41.500,0:13:44.560
by filling them[br]with human values that heal.

0:13:49.200,0:13:51.416
When we ignore the realities,

0:13:51.440,0:13:57.200
we discover that we accept what[br]we are told without critical reflection.

0:13:59.840,0:14:03.616
And we ignore the gifts and advantages[br]that many of us would cherish

0:14:03.640,0:14:05.920
even for a single moment in their lives.

0:14:10.600,0:14:12.960
I engaged in actions[br]I thought were correct.

0:14:15.960,0:14:19.960
But now I began to question[br]how I knew what I knew.

0:14:22.040,0:14:25.736
I endlessly told others[br]to accept the truth,

0:14:25.760,0:14:29.480
but I failed to give doubt[br]its rightful place.

0:14:31.820,0:14:36.676
This conviction that people can change[br]is rooted in my experience,

0:14:36.700,0:14:37.900
my own journey.

0:14:39.420,0:14:41.316
Through wide reading,

0:14:41.340,0:14:42.540
reflecting,

0:14:43.060,0:14:44.956
contemplation, self-knowledge,

0:14:44.980,0:14:46.196
I discovered,

0:14:46.220,0:14:51.860
I realized that Islamists' world[br]of us and them is false and unjust.

0:14:55.700,0:14:59.380
Through considering the uncertainties[br]in all that we had asserted,

0:15:00.300,0:15:01.916
to the inviolable truths,

0:15:01.940,0:15:03.340
incontestable truths,

0:15:05.860,0:15:08.740
I developed a more nuanced understanding.

0:15:15.380,0:15:19.860
I realized that in a world crowded[br]with variation and contradiction,

0:15:20.820,0:15:22.036
foolish preachers,

0:15:22.060,0:15:25.076
only foolish preachers[br]like I used to be,

0:15:25.100,0:15:30.460
see no paradox in the myths and fictions[br]they use to assert authenticity.

0:15:32.020,0:15:36.556
So I understood the vital[br]importance of self-knowledge,

0:15:36.580,0:15:37.780
political awareness

0:15:38.900,0:15:43.556
and the necessity[br]for a deep and wide understanding

0:15:43.580,0:15:46.036
of our commitments and our actions,

0:15:46.060,0:15:47.380
how they affect others.

0:15:49.420,0:15:50.876
So my plea today to everyone,

0:15:50.900,0:15:55.380
especially those who sincerely[br]believe in Islamist jihadism ...

0:15:57.380,0:15:59.780
refuse dogmatic authority;

0:16:01.260,0:16:04.940
let go of anger, hatred and violence;

0:16:06.020,0:16:07.676
learn to right wrongs

0:16:07.700,0:16:12.770
without even attempting to justify[br]cruel, unjust and futile behavior.

0:16:15.740,0:16:19.076
Instead create a few[br]beautiful and useful things

0:16:19.100,0:16:20.300
that outlive us.

0:16:24.100,0:16:25.956
Approach the world, life,

0:16:25.980,0:16:27.180
with love.

0:16:28.900,0:16:30.116
Learn to develop

0:16:30.140,0:16:31.396
or cultivate your hearts

0:16:31.420,0:16:34.780
to see goodness, beauty and truth[br]in others and in the world.

0:16:35.900,0:16:38.420
That way we do matter[br]more to ourselves ...

0:16:40.140,0:16:41.340
to each other,

0:16:42.060,0:16:43.276
to our communities

0:16:43.300,0:16:44.780
and, for me, to God.

0:16:45.900,0:16:47.516
This is jihad --

0:16:47.540,0:16:48.740
my true jihad.

0:16:49.820,0:16:51.036
Thank you.

0:16:51.060,0:16:53.500
(Applause)