WEBVTT

00:00:00.760 --> 00:00:04.776
Today I stand before you
as a man who lives life to the full

00:00:04.800 --> 00:00:06.040
in the here and now.

00:00:07.280 --> 00:00:08.936
But for a long time,

00:00:08.960 --> 00:00:10.160
I lived for death.

00:00:11.920 --> 00:00:13.536
I was a young man who believed

00:00:13.560 --> 00:00:18.120
that jihad is to be understood
in the language of force and violence.

00:00:20.760 --> 00:00:24.000
I tried to right wrongs
through power and aggression.

00:00:25.440 --> 00:00:29.880
I had deep concerns
for the suffering of others

00:00:30.760 --> 00:00:34.000
and a strong desire
to help and bring relief to them.

00:00:37.120 --> 00:00:40.456
I thought violent jihad was noble,

00:00:40.480 --> 00:00:41.816
chivalrous

00:00:41.840 --> 00:00:43.160
and the best way to help.

00:00:45.640 --> 00:00:47.536
At a time when so many of our people --

00:00:47.560 --> 00:00:48.816
young people especially --

00:00:48.840 --> 00:00:50.400
are at risk of radicalization

00:00:51.400 --> 00:00:53.096
through groups like al-Qaeda,

00:00:53.120 --> 00:00:54.960
Islamic State and others,

00:00:55.880 --> 00:00:57.336
when these groups are claiming

00:00:57.360 --> 00:01:02.416
that their horrific brutality
and violence are true jihad,

00:01:02.440 --> 00:01:06.616
I want to say that their idea
of jihad is wrong --

00:01:06.640 --> 00:01:07.976
completely wrong --

00:01:08.000 --> 00:01:09.200
as was mine, then.

00:01:11.200 --> 00:01:13.560
Jihad means to strive to one's utmost.

00:01:14.440 --> 00:01:17.456
It includes exertion and spirituality,

00:01:17.480 --> 00:01:18.976
self-purification

00:01:19.000 --> 00:01:20.200
and devotion.

00:01:22.480 --> 00:01:25.256
It refers to positive transformation

00:01:25.280 --> 00:01:29.376
through learning, wisdom
and remembrance of God.

00:01:29.400 --> 00:01:32.640
The word jihad stands
for all those meanings as a whole.

00:01:34.920 --> 00:01:39.336
Jihad may at times
take the form of fighting,

00:01:39.360 --> 00:01:40.560
but only sometimes,

00:01:41.200 --> 00:01:42.920
under strict conditions,

00:01:44.200 --> 00:01:46.160
within rules and limits.

00:01:47.840 --> 00:01:49.056
In Islam,

00:01:49.080 --> 00:01:54.080
the benefit of an act must outweigh
the harm or hardship it entails.

00:01:55.240 --> 00:01:56.976
More importantly,

00:01:57.000 --> 00:02:01.736
the verses in the Koran
that are connected to jihad or fighting

00:02:01.760 --> 00:02:07.336
do not cancel out the verses
that talk about forgiveness,

00:02:07.360 --> 00:02:08.656
benevolence

00:02:08.680 --> 00:02:09.880
or patience.

00:02:13.320 --> 00:02:17.896
But now I believe that there are
no circumstances on earth

00:02:17.920 --> 00:02:20.496
where violent jihad is permissible,

00:02:20.520 --> 00:02:23.200
because it will lead to greater harm.

00:02:25.800 --> 00:02:28.296
But now the idea of jihad
has been hijacked.

00:02:28.320 --> 00:02:31.656
It has been perverted
to mean violent struggle

00:02:31.680 --> 00:02:34.656
wherever Muslims
are undergoing difficulties,

00:02:34.680 --> 00:02:36.576
and turned into terrorism

00:02:36.600 --> 00:02:39.656
by fascistic Islamists like al-Qaeda,

00:02:39.680 --> 00:02:41.240
Islamic State and others.

00:02:42.280 --> 00:02:44.256
But I have come to understand

00:02:44.280 --> 00:02:48.216
that true jihad
means striving to the utmost

00:02:48.240 --> 00:02:51.600
to strengthen and live
those qualities which God loves:

00:02:52.440 --> 00:02:54.776
honesty, trustworthiness,

00:02:54.800 --> 00:02:56.896
compassion, benevolence,

00:02:56.920 --> 00:02:58.816
reliability, respect,

00:02:58.840 --> 00:03:00.216
truthfulness --

00:03:00.240 --> 00:03:03.360
human values that so many of us share.

00:03:06.360 --> 00:03:08.216
I was born in Bangladesh,

00:03:08.240 --> 00:03:09.669
but grew up mostly in England.

00:03:10.480 --> 00:03:11.719
And I went to school here.

00:03:12.480 --> 00:03:14.776
My father was an academic,

00:03:14.800 --> 00:03:16.880
and we were in the UK through his work.

00:03:18.360 --> 00:03:22.840
In 1971 we were in Bangladesh
when everything changed.

00:03:24.240 --> 00:03:27.776
The War of Independence
impacted upon us terribly,

00:03:27.800 --> 00:03:29.656
pitting family against family,

00:03:29.680 --> 00:03:31.376
neighbor against neighbor.

00:03:31.400 --> 00:03:34.256
And at the age of 12 I experienced war,

00:03:34.280 --> 00:03:35.880
destitution in my family,

00:03:36.720 --> 00:03:39.960
the deaths of 22
of my relatives in horrible ways,

00:03:40.960 --> 00:03:43.760
as well as the murder of my elder brother.

00:03:47.040 --> 00:03:48.800
I witnessed killing ...

00:03:51.000 --> 00:03:53.816
animals feeding on corpses in the streets,

00:03:53.840 --> 00:03:55.576
starvation all around me,

00:03:55.600 --> 00:03:57.736
wanton, horrific violence --

00:03:57.760 --> 00:03:58.960
senseless violence.

00:04:02.280 --> 00:04:04.016
I was a young man,

00:04:04.040 --> 00:04:06.976
teenager, fascinated by ideas.

00:04:07.000 --> 00:04:08.816
I wanted to learn,

00:04:08.840 --> 00:04:10.888
but I could not go to school
for four years.

00:04:12.760 --> 00:04:14.216
After the War of Independence,

00:04:14.240 --> 00:04:16.720
my father was put in prison
for two and a half years,

00:04:17.839 --> 00:04:20.360
and I used to visit him
every week in prison,

00:04:21.120 --> 00:04:22.600
and homeschooled myself.

00:04:24.080 --> 00:04:26.640
My father was released in 1973

00:04:27.520 --> 00:04:30.096
and he fled to England as a refugee,

00:04:30.120 --> 00:04:31.360
and we soon followed him.

00:04:32.720 --> 00:04:34.376
I was 17.

00:04:34.400 --> 00:04:36.856
So these experiences gave me

00:04:36.880 --> 00:04:40.680
a sharp awareness of the atrocities
and injustices in the world.

00:04:42.320 --> 00:04:44.136
And I had a strong desire --

00:04:44.160 --> 00:04:46.176
a very keen, deep desire --

00:04:46.200 --> 00:04:47.416
to right wrongs

00:04:47.440 --> 00:04:49.107
and help the victims of oppression.

00:04:50.600 --> 00:04:52.536
While studying at college in the UK,

00:04:52.560 --> 00:04:58.040
I met others who showed me
how I could channel that desire

00:04:58.720 --> 00:05:00.440
and help through my religion.

00:05:01.720 --> 00:05:03.016
And I was radicalized --

00:05:03.040 --> 00:05:06.480
enough to consider violence correct,

00:05:07.640 --> 00:05:10.000
even a virtue under certain circumstances.

00:05:12.320 --> 00:05:15.536
So I became involved
in the jihad in Afghanistan.

00:05:15.560 --> 00:05:20.120
I wanted to protect the Muslim Afghan
population against the Soviet army.

00:05:20.960 --> 00:05:23.336
And I thought that was jihad:

00:05:23.360 --> 00:05:24.856
my sacred duty,

00:05:24.880 --> 00:05:26.600
which would be rewarded by God.

00:05:31.880 --> 00:05:33.880
I became a preacher.

00:05:35.960 --> 00:05:41.056
I was one of the pioneers
of violent jihad in the UK.

00:05:41.080 --> 00:05:42.576
I recruited,

00:05:42.600 --> 00:05:44.280
I raised funds, I trained.

00:05:45.360 --> 00:05:47.896
I confused true jihad

00:05:47.920 --> 00:05:51.920
with this perversion
as presented by the fascist Islamists --

00:05:53.680 --> 00:05:56.736
these people who use the idea of jihad

00:05:56.760 --> 00:06:00.640
to justify their lust for power,
authority and control on earth:

00:06:01.745 --> 00:06:06.056
a perversion perpetuated today
by fascist Islamist groups

00:06:06.080 --> 00:06:08.960
like al-Qaeda, Islamic State and others.

00:06:10.440 --> 00:06:12.280
For a period of around 15 years,

00:06:13.480 --> 00:06:17.280
I fought for short periods of time

00:06:18.240 --> 00:06:19.976
in Kashmir and Burma,

00:06:20.000 --> 00:06:21.320
besides Afghanistan.

00:06:25.000 --> 00:06:27.720
Our aim was to remove the invaders,

00:06:28.760 --> 00:06:31.840
to bring relief to the oppressed victims

00:06:32.880 --> 00:06:36.016
and of course to establish
an Islamic state,

00:06:36.040 --> 00:06:37.760
a caliphate for God's rule.

00:06:38.720 --> 00:06:39.920
And I did this openly.

00:06:41.480 --> 00:06:43.760
I didn't break any laws.

00:06:44.440 --> 00:06:47.536
I was proud and grateful to be British --

00:06:47.560 --> 00:06:49.136
I still am.

00:06:49.160 --> 00:06:52.800
And I bore no hostility
against this, my country,

00:06:53.960 --> 00:06:57.496
nor enmity towards
the non-Muslim citizens,

00:06:57.520 --> 00:06:58.920
and I still don't.

00:07:01.840 --> 00:07:04.216
During one battle in Afghanistan,

00:07:04.240 --> 00:07:07.120
some British men and I
formed a special bond

00:07:07.960 --> 00:07:10.696
with a 15-year-old Afghani boy,

00:07:10.720 --> 00:07:11.920
Abdullah,

00:07:12.840 --> 00:07:15.176
an innocent, loving and lovable kid

00:07:15.200 --> 00:07:17.240
who was always eager to please.

00:07:18.960 --> 00:07:20.160
He was poor.

00:07:20.760 --> 00:07:23.480
And boys like him
did menial tasks in the camp.

00:07:24.480 --> 00:07:25.766
And he seemed happy enough,

00:07:26.480 --> 00:07:27.896
but I couldn't help wonder --

00:07:27.920 --> 00:07:29.825
his parents must have missed him dearly.

00:07:31.560 --> 00:07:35.120
And they must have dreamt
about a better future for him.

00:07:37.560 --> 00:07:40.376
A victim of circumstance
caught up in a war,

00:07:40.400 --> 00:07:41.680
cruelly thrust upon him

00:07:42.720 --> 00:07:44.960
by the cruel circumstances of the time.

00:07:48.680 --> 00:07:53.400
One day I picked up this unexploded
mortar shell in a trench,

00:07:54.320 --> 00:07:58.120
and I had it deposited
in a makeshift mud hut lab.

00:07:59.280 --> 00:08:02.216
And I went out on a short,
pointless skirmish --

00:08:02.240 --> 00:08:03.440
always pointless,

00:08:04.440 --> 00:08:07.880
And I came back a few hours later
to discover he was dead.

00:08:09.160 --> 00:08:11.936
He had tried to recover
explosives from that shell.

00:08:11.960 --> 00:08:14.560
It exploded, and he died a violent death,

00:08:15.440 --> 00:08:19.720
blown to bits by the very same device
that had proved harmless to me.

00:08:21.080 --> 00:08:22.600
So I started to question.

00:08:24.600 --> 00:08:28.320
How did his death serve any purpose?

00:08:30.280 --> 00:08:32.280
Why did he die and I lived?

00:08:33.558 --> 00:08:35.056
I carried on.

00:08:35.080 --> 00:08:36.696
I fought in Kashmir.

00:08:36.720 --> 00:08:39.416
I also recruited for the Philippines,

00:08:39.440 --> 00:08:41.240
Bosnia and Chechnya.

00:08:42.558 --> 00:08:43.840
And the questions grew.

00:08:45.880 --> 00:08:47.776
Later in Burma,

00:08:47.800 --> 00:08:50.136
I came across Rohingya fighters,

00:08:50.160 --> 00:08:52.416
who were barely teenagers,

00:08:52.440 --> 00:08:54.096
born and brought up in the jungle,

00:08:54.120 --> 00:08:56.180
carrying machine guns
and grenade launchers.

00:09:00.000 --> 00:09:05.200
I met two 13-year-olds
with soft manners and gentle voices.

00:09:06.920 --> 00:09:08.136
Looking at me,

00:09:08.160 --> 00:09:10.240
they begged me
to take them away to England.

00:09:16.720 --> 00:09:18.600
They simply wanted to go to school --

00:09:19.680 --> 00:09:21.000
that was their dream.

00:09:24.360 --> 00:09:25.576
My family --

00:09:25.600 --> 00:09:27.056
my children of the same age --

00:09:27.080 --> 00:09:29.040
were living at home in the UK,

00:09:30.040 --> 00:09:31.336
going to school,

00:09:31.360 --> 00:09:32.560
living a safe life.

00:09:33.880 --> 00:09:35.136
And I couldn't help wonder

00:09:35.160 --> 00:09:38.616
how much these young boys
must have spoken to one another

00:09:38.640 --> 00:09:40.840
about their dreams for such a life.

00:09:42.920 --> 00:09:44.840
Victims of circumstances:

00:09:46.360 --> 00:09:47.640
these two young boys,

00:09:48.320 --> 00:09:51.376
sleeping rough on the ground,
looking up at the stars,

00:09:51.400 --> 00:09:53.896
cynically exploited by their leaders

00:09:53.920 --> 00:09:56.400
for their personal lust
for glory and power.

00:09:57.920 --> 00:10:01.136
I soon witnessed boys like them
killing one another

00:10:01.160 --> 00:10:03.400
in conflicts between rival groups.

00:10:05.400 --> 00:10:07.760
And it was the same everywhere ...

00:10:09.280 --> 00:10:11.776
Afghanistan, Kashmir, Burma,

00:10:11.800 --> 00:10:13.280
Philippines, Chechnya;

00:10:14.240 --> 00:10:18.856
petty warlords got the young
and vulnerable to kill one another

00:10:18.880 --> 00:10:20.200
in the name of jihad.

00:10:22.240 --> 00:10:24.080
Muslims against Muslims.

00:10:25.640 --> 00:10:30.016
Not protecting anyone
against invaders or occupiers;

00:10:30.040 --> 00:10:32.040
not bringing relief to the oppressed.

00:10:34.240 --> 00:10:35.616
Children being used,

00:10:35.640 --> 00:10:37.256
cynically exploited;

00:10:37.280 --> 00:10:39.216
people dying in conflicts

00:10:39.240 --> 00:10:42.280
which I was supporting
in the name of jihad.

00:10:44.920 --> 00:10:46.560
And it still carries on today.

00:10:51.800 --> 00:10:55.416
Realizing that the violent jihad

00:10:55.440 --> 00:10:59.640
I had engaged in abroad

00:11:01.440 --> 00:11:03.480
was so different --

00:11:05.280 --> 00:11:10.016
such a chasm between
what I had experienced

00:11:10.040 --> 00:11:11.840
and what I thought was sacred duty --

00:11:12.640 --> 00:11:15.600
I had to reflect
on my activities here in the UK.

00:11:18.240 --> 00:11:20.296
I had to consider my preaching,

00:11:20.320 --> 00:11:21.856
recruiting, fund-raising,

00:11:21.880 --> 00:11:23.456
training,

00:11:23.480 --> 00:11:25.600
but most importantly, radicalizing --

00:11:26.640 --> 00:11:28.856
sending young people to fight and die

00:11:28.880 --> 00:11:30.096
as I was doing --

00:11:30.120 --> 00:11:31.880
all totally wrong.

00:11:35.680 --> 00:11:38.880
So I got involved
in violent jihad in the mid '80s,

00:11:39.960 --> 00:11:41.440
starting with Afghanistan.

00:11:42.600 --> 00:11:45.880
And by the time I finished
it was in the year 2000.

00:11:47.040 --> 00:11:48.616
I was completely immersed in it.

00:11:48.640 --> 00:11:50.576
All around me people supported,

00:11:50.600 --> 00:11:51.816
applauded,

00:11:51.840 --> 00:11:54.240
even celebrated what
we were doing in their name.

00:11:56.160 --> 00:11:57.976
But by the time I learned to get out,

00:11:58.000 --> 00:12:00.616
completely disillusioned in the year 2000,

00:12:00.640 --> 00:12:02.320
15 years had passed.

00:12:05.200 --> 00:12:06.440
So what goes wrong?

00:12:08.720 --> 00:12:11.560
We were so busy talking about virtue,

00:12:13.160 --> 00:12:16.320
and we were blinded by a cause.

00:12:20.240 --> 00:12:24.520
And we did not give ourselves a chance
to develop a virtuous character.

00:12:25.680 --> 00:12:29.816
We told ourselves
we were fighting for the oppressed,

00:12:29.840 --> 00:12:32.040
but these were unwinnable wars.

00:12:33.720 --> 00:12:37.336
We became the very instrument
through which more deaths occurred,

00:12:37.360 --> 00:12:41.096
complicit in causing further misery

00:12:41.120 --> 00:12:43.720
for the selfish benefit of the cruel few.

00:12:52.280 --> 00:12:53.496
So over time,

00:12:53.520 --> 00:12:54.720
a very long time,

00:12:56.600 --> 00:12:57.800
I opened my eyes.

00:12:59.960 --> 00:13:01.440
I began to dare

00:13:03.040 --> 00:13:04.696
to face the truth,

00:13:04.720 --> 00:13:05.920
to think,

00:13:07.360 --> 00:13:09.496
to face the hard questions.

00:13:09.520 --> 00:13:11.720
I got in touch with my soul.

00:13:22.080 --> 00:13:23.400
What have I learned?

00:13:24.640 --> 00:13:29.200
That people who engage
in violent jihadism,

00:13:30.960 --> 00:13:33.560
that people who are drawn
to these types of extremisms,

00:13:34.600 --> 00:13:36.800
are not that different to everyone else.

00:13:37.880 --> 00:13:40.680
But I believe such people can change.

00:13:42.120 --> 00:13:44.976
They can regain their hearts
and restore them

00:13:45.000 --> 00:13:48.060
by filling them
with human values that heal.

00:13:55.000 --> 00:13:57.216
When we ignore the realities,

00:13:57.240 --> 00:14:03.000
we discover that we accept what
we are told without critical reflection.

00:14:05.640 --> 00:14:09.416
And we ignore the gifts and advantages
that many of us would cherish

00:14:09.440 --> 00:14:11.720
even for a single moment in their lives.

00:14:16.400 --> 00:14:18.760
I engaged in actions
I thought were correct.

00:14:21.760 --> 00:14:25.760
But now I began to question
how I knew what I knew.

00:14:27.840 --> 00:14:31.536
I endlessly told others
to accept the truth,

00:14:31.560 --> 00:14:35.280
but I failed to give doubt
its rightful place.

00:14:40.920 --> 00:14:45.776
This conviction that people can change
is rooted in my experience,

00:14:45.800 --> 00:14:47.000
my own journey.

00:14:48.520 --> 00:14:50.416
Through wide reading,

00:14:50.440 --> 00:14:51.640
reflecting,

00:14:52.160 --> 00:14:54.056
contemplation, self-knowledge,

00:14:54.080 --> 00:14:55.296
I discovered,

00:14:55.320 --> 00:15:00.960
I realized that Islamists' world
of us and them is false and unjust.

00:15:04.800 --> 00:15:08.480
Through considering the uncertainties
in all that we had asserted,

00:15:09.400 --> 00:15:11.016
to the inviolable truths,

00:15:11.040 --> 00:15:12.440
incontestable truths,

00:15:14.960 --> 00:15:17.840
I developed a more nuanced understanding.

00:15:24.480 --> 00:15:28.960
I realized that in a world crowded
with variation and contradiction,

00:15:29.920 --> 00:15:31.136
foolish preachers,

00:15:31.160 --> 00:15:34.176
only foolish preachers
like I used to be,

00:15:34.200 --> 00:15:39.560
see no paradox in the myths and fictions
they use to assert authenticity.

00:15:41.120 --> 00:15:45.656
So I understood the vital
importance of self-knowledge,

00:15:45.680 --> 00:15:46.880
political awareness

00:15:48.000 --> 00:15:52.656
and the necessity
for a deep and wide understanding

00:15:52.680 --> 00:15:55.136
of our commitments and our actions,

00:15:55.160 --> 00:15:56.480
how they affect others.

00:15:58.520 --> 00:15:59.976
So my plea today to everyone,

00:16:00.000 --> 00:16:04.480
especially those who sincerely
believe in Islamist jihadism ...

00:16:06.480 --> 00:16:08.880
refuse dogmatic authority;

00:16:10.360 --> 00:16:14.040
let go of anger, hatred and violence;

00:16:15.120 --> 00:16:16.776
learn to right wrongs

00:16:16.800 --> 00:16:21.870
without even attempting to justify
cruel, unjust and futile behavior.

00:16:24.840 --> 00:16:28.176
Instead create a few
beautiful and useful things

00:16:28.200 --> 00:16:29.400
that outlive us.

00:16:33.200 --> 00:16:35.056
Approach the world, life,

00:16:35.080 --> 00:16:36.280
with love.

00:16:38.000 --> 00:16:39.216
Learn to develop

00:16:39.240 --> 00:16:40.496
or cultivate your hearts

00:16:40.520 --> 00:16:43.880
to see goodness, beauty and truth
in others and in the world.

00:16:45.000 --> 00:16:47.520
That way we do matter
more to ourselves ...

00:16:49.240 --> 00:16:50.440
to each other,

00:16:51.160 --> 00:16:52.376
to our communities

00:16:52.400 --> 00:16:53.880
and, for me, to God.

00:16:55.000 --> 00:16:56.616
This is jihad --

00:16:56.640 --> 00:16:57.840
my true jihad.

00:16:58.920 --> 00:17:00.136
Thank you.

00:17:00.160 --> 00:17:02.600
(Applause)