[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.81,0:00:04.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was one of the founding members\Nof the Axis of Evil Comedy Tour.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:04.50,0:00:07.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The other founding members\Nincluded Ahmed Ahmed,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:07.10,0:00:10.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who is an Egyptian-American,\Nwho actually had the idea
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.07,0:00:13.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to go to the Middle East and try it out\Nbefore we went out as a tour.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.37,0:00:15.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He went out solo and did it first.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.05,0:00:17.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then there was Aron Kader,\Nwho was the Palestinian-American.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.00,0:00:20.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then there was me,\Nthe Iranian-American of the group.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.00,0:00:23.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, being Iranian-American\Npresents its own set of problems,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:24.02,0:00:25.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as you know.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.22,0:00:27.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Those two countries\Naren't getting along these days.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.72,0:00:29.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So it causes a lot of inner\Nconflict, you know,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.00,0:00:32.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like part of me likes me,\Npart of me hates me.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.21,0:00:33.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.23,0:00:35.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Part of me thinks I should\Nhave a nuclear program,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.61,0:00:38.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the other part thinks\NI can't be trusted with one.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.07,0:00:40.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These are dilemmas I have every day.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.70,0:00:43.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I was born in Iran;\NI'm now an American citizen,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.45,0:00:45.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which means I have the American passport,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.45,0:00:46.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which means I can travel.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.00,0:00:50.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because if you only have\Nthe Iranian passport,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.22,0:00:53.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're kind of limited to the countries\Nyou can go to with open arms,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.74,0:00:56.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know -- Syria, Venezuela, North Korea.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.04,0:00:58.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.89,0:01:02.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, anyone who's gotten their passport\Nin America will tell you,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.27,0:01:05.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when you get it, it still says\Nwhat country you were born in.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.20,0:01:07.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I remember getting\Nmy American passport.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:07.26,0:01:09.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was like, "Woo-hoo!\NI'm going to travel."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.34,0:01:12.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I opened it up, it said, "Born\Nin Iran." I'm like, "Oh, come on, man!"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.89,0:01:13.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.94,0:01:15.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm trying to go places."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.24,0:01:16.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.32,0:01:17.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But what's interesting is,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.58,0:01:21.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've never had trouble in any Western\Ncountries with my American passport,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:21.12,0:01:23.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even though it says,\N"Born in Iran" -- no problems.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.56,0:01:26.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Where I've had problems\Nis in some of the Arab countries.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.26,0:01:29.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I guess some of the Arab countries\Naren't getting along with Iran either.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:29.76,0:01:32.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I was in Kuwait recently,\Ndoing a comedy show
Dialogue: 0,0:01:32.08,0:01:33.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with some other American comedians.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.80,0:01:34.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They all went through.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:34.98,0:01:38.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then the border patrol saw my American\Npassport: "Ah-ha! American, great."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.60,0:01:40.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then he opened it up.\N"Born in Iran? Wait."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.67,0:01:42.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.23,0:01:43.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he started asking me questions.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.95,0:01:45.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said, "What is your father's name?"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.42,0:01:49.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I said, "Well, he's passed away,\Nbut his name was Khosro."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.52,0:01:51.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He goes, "What\Nis your grandfather's name?"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.95,0:01:53.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I said, "He passed away a long time ago.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.01,0:01:55.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,His name was Jabbar."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.58,0:01:58.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He says, "You wait. I'll be back,"\Nand he walked away.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.16,0:01:59.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I started freaking out,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.48,0:02:02.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I don't know what kind\Nof crap my grandfather was into.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.52,0:02:04.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.76,0:02:07.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thought the guy was going\Nto come back and be like,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.20,0:02:09.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"We've been looking\Nfor you for 200 years."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:09.27,0:02:12.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.20,0:02:15.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Your grandfather has\Na parking violation. It's way overdue.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.76,0:02:17.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You owe us two billion dollars."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:17.58,0:02:19.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.27,0:02:22.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But as you can see, when I talk,\NI speak with an American accent,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.45,0:02:25.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which you would think,\Nas an Iranian-American actor,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.10,0:02:27.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I should be able to play any part,\Ngood, bad, what have you.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.00,0:02:29.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But a lot of times in Hollywood,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.61,0:02:32.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when casting directors find out\Nyou're of Middle Eastern descent,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.70,0:02:34.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they go, "Oh, you're Iranian. Great!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:34.44,0:02:37.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Can you say 'I will kill you\Nin the name of Allah?'"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.14,0:02:39.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I go, "I could say that,\Nbut what if I were to say,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.58,0:02:40.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Hello. I'm your doctor'?"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.00,0:02:43.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They go, "Great! And then\Nyou hijack the hospital."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.66,0:02:48.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.10,0:02:51.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like, I think you're\Nmissing the point here.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.90,0:02:54.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't get me wrong,\NI don't mind playing bad guys.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:54.29,0:02:56.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want to play a bad guy.\NI want to rob a bank.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.52,0:02:58.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want to rob a bank in a film,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.35,0:03:01.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but do it with a gun, not with a bomb\Nstrapped around me, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.64,0:03:02.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:02.88,0:03:05.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because I imagine the director:\N"Maz, I think your character
Dialogue: 0,0:03:05.88,0:03:07.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would rob the bank\Nwith a bomb around him."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.51,0:03:09.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Why would I do that?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.57,0:03:12.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If I want the money,\Nwhy would I kill myself?"
Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.00,0:03:16.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:16.12,0:03:17.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:17.32,0:03:20.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.27,0:03:22.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Gimme all your money,\Nor I'll blow myself up!"
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.68,0:03:26.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:26.56,0:03:28.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Well, then blow yourself up.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.30,0:03:29.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.58,0:03:31.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just do it outside, please."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.16,0:03:34.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.02,0:03:37.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the fact is, there's good\Npeople everywhere.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.29,0:03:40.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's what I try and show in my stand-up,\Ngood people everywhere.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.43,0:03:42.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All it takes in one person to mess it up.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.41,0:03:44.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like a couple months ago\Nin Times Square in New York,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.91,0:03:47.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there was a Pakistani Muslim guy\Nwho tried to blow up a car bomb.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:47.100,0:03:51.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, I happened to be in Times Square\Nthat night doing a comedy show.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.26,0:03:54.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And a few months before that, there\Nwas a white American guy in Austin, Texas
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.91,0:03:57.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who flew his airplane\Ninto the IRS building,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:57.63,0:04:01.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I happened to be in Austin that day\Ndoing a stand-up comedy show.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:02.00,0:04:04.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now I'll tell you,\Nas a Middle-Eastern male,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.12,0:04:06.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when you show up around a lot\Nof these activities,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.89,0:04:08.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you start feeling guilty at one point.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:08.86,0:04:09.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.88,0:04:12.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was watching the news. I'm like,\N"Am I involved in this crap?"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:12.100,0:04:17.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:17.92,0:04:20.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I didn't get the memo. What's going on?"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:20.13,0:04:22.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:22.08,0:04:23.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But what was interesting was,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:23.49,0:04:26.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the Pakistani Muslim guy --\Nsee, he gives a bad name to Muslims
Dialogue: 0,0:04:26.53,0:04:29.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and Middle Easterners and Pakistanis\Nfrom all over the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:29.46,0:04:32.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And one thing that happened there\Nwas also the Pakistani Taliban
Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.58,0:04:34.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,took credit for that failed car bombing.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:35.00,0:04:39.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My question is: Why would you take credit\Nfor a failed car bombing?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:39.30,0:04:40.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"We just want to say:
Dialogue: 0,0:04:41.53,0:04:42.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we tried."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:42.74,0:04:45.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.15,0:04:48.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"And furthermore ...
Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.65,0:04:49.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:49.82,0:04:51.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it is the thought that counts."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.45,0:04:53.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.17,0:04:59.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:00.00,0:05:02.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"And in conclusion, win some, lose some."
Dialogue: 0,0:05:02.13,0:05:04.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:04.20,0:05:07.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But what happened was, when the white guy\Nflew his plane into the building,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:07.77,0:05:10.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know all my Middle Eastern\Nand Muslim friends in the States
Dialogue: 0,0:05:10.66,0:05:11.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,were watching TV, going,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.84,0:05:14.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Please, don't be Middle Eastern.\NDon't be Hassan or Hussein."
Dialogue: 0,0:05:14.93,0:05:19.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the name came out: Jack.\NI'm like, "Woooo! That's not one of us!"
Dialogue: 0,0:05:19.24,0:05:21.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I kept watching the news\Nin case they came back,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:21.81,0:05:24.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and were like, "Before he did it,\Nhe converted to Islam."
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.62,0:05:26.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Damn it! Why Jack? Why?"
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.62,0:05:30.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the fact is, I've been lucky
Dialogue: 0,0:05:30.27,0:05:32.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to get a chance to perform\Nall over the world,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:32.46,0:05:34.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I did a lot of shows\Nin the Middle East.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.60,0:05:36.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I just did a seven-country solo tour.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:36.41,0:05:38.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was in Oman, and I was in Saudi Arabia.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:38.75,0:05:39.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was in Dubai.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.00,0:05:42.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it's great, there's good\Npeople everywhere.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:42.22,0:05:44.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you learn great things\Nabout these places.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:44.40,0:05:46.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I encourage people always\Nto go visit these places.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:46.85,0:05:48.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For example, Dubai -- cool place.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:48.45,0:05:52.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're obsessed with having the biggest,\Ntallest, longest, as we all know.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:52.03,0:05:53.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They have a mall there, the Dubai Mall.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:53.98,0:05:56.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It is so big, they have taxis in the mall.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:56.67,0:06:00.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was walking. I heard, "Beep! Beep!"\NI'm like, "What are you doing here?"
Dialogue: 0,0:06:00.33,0:06:03.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He goes, "I'm going to the Zara store.\NIt's three miles away.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:03.25,0:06:05.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Out of my way. Out of my way.\NOut of my way."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:05.58,0:06:06.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:06.85,0:06:09.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And what's crazy -- there's a recession\Ngoing on, even in Dubai,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:09.94,0:06:11.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but you wouldn't know by the prices.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:11.74,0:06:15.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like in the Dubai Mall,\Nthey sell frozen yogurt by the gram.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:16.04,0:06:17.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's like a drug deal.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:18.00,0:06:20.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was walking by. The guy goes,\N"Psst! Habibi, my friend."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:21.00,0:06:23.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:23.16,0:06:24.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You want some frozen yogurt?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:24.82,0:06:26.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:26.39,0:06:28.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Come here. Come here. Come here.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:28.50,0:06:31.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have one gram, five gram, 10 gram.\NHow many gram do you want?"
Dialogue: 0,0:06:31.61,0:06:32.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:32.68,0:06:35.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I bought five grams. 10 dollars.\N10 dollars! I said, "What's in this?"
Dialogue: 0,0:06:36.00,0:06:38.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's like, "Good stuff, man.\NColombian. Top of the line."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:38.76,0:06:39.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:39.83,0:06:42.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The other thing you learn\Nwhen you travel in these countries,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:42.73,0:06:45.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the Middle East, Latin American,\NSouth American countries,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:45.63,0:06:48.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a lot of times when they build stuff,\Nthere's no rules and regulations.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:49.00,0:06:52.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For example, I took my two-year-old son\Nto the playground at the Dubai Mall.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:52.66,0:06:55.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I've taken him to playgrounds\Nall over the United States.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:55.60,0:06:58.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when you put your two-year-old\Non a slide in the United States,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:58.82,0:07:00.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they put something on the slide
Dialogue: 0,0:07:00.76,0:07:03.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to slow the kid down\Nas he comes down the slide.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:03.84,0:07:05.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not in the Middle East.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:05.46,0:07:07.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:07.93,0:07:11.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I put my two-year-old on the slide,\Nhe went whoosh! He took off!
Dialogue: 0,0:07:11.18,0:07:12.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:12.30,0:07:15.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I went down and, "Where's my son?"\N"On the third floor, sir. Third floor."
Dialogue: 0,0:07:15.94,0:07:17.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:17.88,0:07:20.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You take a taxi.\NYou go to Zara. Make a left."
Dialogue: 0,0:07:20.26,0:07:21.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:22.82,0:07:25.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Try the yogurt. It's very good.\NLittle expensive."
Dialogue: 0,0:07:25.56,0:07:27.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:27.67,0:07:30.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But one thing I try to do\Nwith my stand-up is break stereotypes.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:30.74,0:07:32.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I've been guilty\Nof stereotyping as well.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:32.88,0:07:35.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was in Dubai. And there's a lot\Nof Indians who work in Dubai.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:35.87,0:07:37.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they don't get paid that well.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:37.52,0:07:40.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I got it in my head that all\Nthe Indians must be workers.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:40.42,0:07:43.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I forgot there's obviously\Nsuccessful Indians in Dubai too.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:43.26,0:07:46.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was doing a show, and they said,\N"We'll send a driver to pick you up."
Dialogue: 0,0:07:46.70,0:07:49.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I went down to the lobby,\Nand saw this Indian guy.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:49.10,0:07:50.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I go, "He must be my driver,"
Dialogue: 0,0:07:50.51,0:07:53.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,since he's standing there in a cheap\Nsuit, thin mustache, staring at me.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:53.94,0:07:55.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I say, "Excuse me, are you my driver?"
Dialogue: 0,0:07:55.82,0:07:57.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He goes, "No, sir. I own the hotel."
Dialogue: 0,0:07:57.62,0:08:00.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:02.09,0:08:04.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I go, "I'm sorry!\NWhy were you staring at me?"
Dialogue: 0,0:08:04.34,0:08:06.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He goes, "I thought you were my driver."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:06.40,0:08:08.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:08.94,0:08:15.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:17.21,0:08:20.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:20.16,0:08:23.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll leave you with this: I try,\Nwith my stand-up, to break stereotypes,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:23.57,0:08:26.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,present Middle Easterners\Nand Muslims in a positive light.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:26.35,0:08:27.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I hope that in the coming years,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:27.95,0:08:30.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,more film and television programs\Ncome out of Hollywood,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:30.66,0:08:32.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,presenting us in a positive light.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:32.46,0:08:35.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Who knows? Maybe one day,\Nwe'll even have our own James Bond. Right?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:36.41,0:08:37.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"My name is Bond.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:37.59,0:08:38.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Jamal Bond."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:38.78,0:08:40.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:40.25,0:08:42.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Til then, I'll keep telling jokes.\NHope you keep laughing.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:42.99,0:08:44.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Have a good day. Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:44.31,0:08:51.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)