0:00:12.335,0:00:17.785
I would be so privileged[br]if you would allow me,

0:00:18.297,0:00:20.777
for the few minutes that you've given me,

0:00:21.667,0:00:22.867
to be your mom,

0:00:24.565,0:00:25.885
your grandma,

0:00:26.416,0:00:28.012
your great-grandma.

0:00:28.012,0:00:29.212
(Laughter)

0:00:29.212,0:00:31.242
I have four generations.

0:00:32.793,0:00:35.493
What a joy for me to be here with you.

0:00:36.287,0:00:38.127
And with your permission,

0:00:38.376,0:00:40.516
I'm going to take you on a ride.

0:00:40.997,0:00:45.887
I want to share with you[br]what my mom told me

0:00:46.264,0:00:52.854
that truly, truly changed my life -[br]the past and the present.

0:00:54.619,0:00:57.319
The time is 1944.

0:01:00.519,0:01:04.519
My dad, my sister Magda and I

0:01:05.690,0:01:07.070
and my mom,

0:01:07.524,0:01:11.444
we were on our way to Auschwitz.

0:01:12.312,0:01:15.552
And my mom held me,[br]and this is what she said.

0:01:16.180,0:01:18.410
She said, "We don't know[br]where we're going.

0:01:18.573,0:01:20.583
We don't know what's going to happen.

0:01:20.583,0:01:21.983
Just remember,

0:01:22.163,0:01:27.523
no one can take away from you[br]what you put here in your own mind."

0:01:28.211,0:01:30.431
And this is exactly what happened.

0:01:30.976,0:01:34.036
We arrived in Auschwitz.

0:01:34.779,0:01:37.549
I saw the sign. I didn't know where I was.

0:01:38.177,0:01:39.937
My father was separated,

0:01:40.888,0:01:46.658
and I stood in front of Doctor Mengele,[br]"the Angel of Death."

0:01:47.469,0:01:49.989
He pointed my mom to go to the left

0:01:49.989,0:01:52.499
and my sister and I to the right.

0:01:53.034,0:01:54.814
I followed my mom,

0:01:55.595,0:01:58.115
and he grabbed me, looked me in the eye -

0:01:58.573,0:02:00.853
that I never forget that look -

0:02:01.840,0:02:04.500
and he said: "You're going to see[br]your mother very soon;

0:02:04.500,0:02:06.330
she's just going to take a shower,"

0:02:06.782,0:02:09.382
and promptly threw me on the other side -

0:02:10.710,0:02:12.590
which meant life.

0:02:14.965,0:02:19.455
I suffered so many years[br]from survivor's guilt and shame,

0:02:20.344,0:02:22.214
wondering, "Why me?"

0:02:23.077,0:02:29.117
There were people who were[br]so much prettier than I was.

0:02:29.804,0:02:32.319
I had two very beautiful sisters,

0:02:32.849,0:02:36.674
and after two beautiful sisters,[br]my parents wanted a son,

0:02:36.674,0:02:38.224
and guess what happened!

0:02:38.514,0:02:40.024
They got me,

0:02:40.314,0:02:42.514
and I was the runt in my family.

0:02:42.514,0:02:45.174
My sisters took me for a walk,

0:02:45.174,0:02:49.054
and they blindfolded me[br]because I was cross-eyed.

0:02:49.338,0:02:52.033
Today, I speak at schools.

0:02:52.033,0:02:54.728
I'm really guiding the precious children

0:02:54.728,0:02:57.678
not to allow anyone to define who you are.

0:02:57.678,0:03:01.018
You're beautiful because[br]God doesn't make junk.

0:03:01.871,0:03:07.281
And so, here I was asking -[br]it was called Birkenau -

0:03:07.281,0:03:11.281
I asked one of the inmates,[br]"When will I see my mother?"

0:03:11.281,0:03:13.431
She pointed at a chimney,

0:03:13.789,0:03:17.219
and she said to me very coldly,[br]"She's burning there."

0:03:17.369,0:03:20.159
So there was no help from the outside,

0:03:20.450,0:03:24.870
but I still had my mind[br]and my sister Magda.

0:03:25.556,0:03:29.216
She was the pretty one[br]in my family, the sexy one.

0:03:30.066,0:03:32.435
And when we were completely shaved,

0:03:32.435,0:03:37.365
she came to me with hair in her palms[br]and said, "How do I look?"

0:03:38.332,0:03:40.952
It's a Hungarian woman's question -

0:03:41.216,0:03:42.686
we're pretty vain -

0:03:43.629,0:03:46.614
and I knew and I discovered

0:03:46.614,0:03:51.709
Auschwitz was all about discovering traits[br]I never thought were possible.[br]

0:03:52.195,0:03:54.985
And instead of telling Magda[br]how she really looked,

0:03:54.985,0:03:58.835
I found something, something[br]that she still had left,

0:03:58.835,0:04:03.105
and I said to her, "Magda,[br]you have such beautiful eyes,

0:04:03.415,0:04:04.520
and you know,

0:04:04.520,0:04:10.105
I really didn't see it when you had[br]your hair covering your eyes."

0:04:10.168,0:04:13.398
So I hope that you're going[br]to relate tonight.

0:04:13.563,0:04:17.563
Pay attention to the kind of words[br]that you put in your mind

0:04:17.695,0:04:20.065
so you can empower someone

0:04:20.332,0:04:25.402
and see in which way[br]I can be your guide tonight.

0:04:30.317,0:04:32.047
Doctor Mengele

0:04:33.064,0:04:35.004
appeared in our barracks

0:04:35.592,0:04:37.962
and looked for the talents,

0:04:38.311,0:04:41.571
and my friends volunteered me

0:04:42.627,0:04:47.847
because I was a student of ballet.

0:04:48.933,0:04:51.673
I was a good gymnast.

0:04:52.084,0:04:56.594
I danced for the president[br]of Hungary, Admiral Horthy,

0:04:56.860,0:05:00.620
and I found myself[br]in front of Doctor Mengele, dancing.

0:05:00.881,0:05:05.961
And again, my mind was with me,[br]and I was able to check out,

0:05:06.378,0:05:10.272
and I pretended that the music[br]was Tchaikovsky

0:05:10.272,0:05:15.292
and I was dancing the Romeo and Juliet[br]at the Budapest Opera House.

0:05:15.862,0:05:19.582
He gave me a piece of bread,[br]which I shared with my girls.

0:05:20.353,0:05:22.753
Life was really difficult in Auschwitz

0:05:22.753,0:05:26.383
because we never knew[br]what's going to happen next.

0:05:28.055,0:05:30.395
We didn't know when we took a shower

0:05:30.395,0:05:35.382
whether water is going to come out[br]or gas is going to come out.

0:05:35.542,0:05:41.612
And then, what we had to do[br]is, again, somehow survive.

0:05:41.612,0:05:46.657
I remember we stood in line[br]every morning, four o'clock,

0:05:46.657,0:05:52.397
and I, I began to fantasize[br]about my boyfriend.

0:05:52.722,0:05:58.072
And I said to myself, "If I survive today,[br]then tomorrow I'll be free."

0:05:58.629,0:06:01.929
Tomorrow, tomorrow - always looking ahead.

0:06:02.339,0:06:05.044
And I learned to say -[br]instead of "Why me?" -

0:06:05.044,0:06:07.869
"What now?" and "What next?"

0:06:07.869,0:06:13.179
I had a tremendous curiosity[br]that really was so powerful

0:06:13.414,0:06:18.364
that I was able to make it day by day.

0:06:18.954,0:06:22.162
But we had to be committed to each other;

0:06:22.162,0:06:24.722
otherwise, we never would have made it.

0:06:24.722,0:06:27.314
Cooperation was the name of the game.

0:06:27.314,0:06:30.195
Not competition, not domination

0:06:30.195,0:06:33.357
because all we had was each other then

0:06:33.357,0:06:36.077
and all we have is each other now.

0:06:37.343,0:06:38.823
In December,

0:06:40.861,0:06:42.746
they took me out of Auschwitz.

0:06:42.746,0:06:44.791
I became a slave laborer,

0:06:44.791,0:06:51.025
and I was transported to a place[br]called Mauthausen to enter a death march.

0:06:51.512,0:06:56.489
And in a death march, when you stopped,[br]you were shot right away.

0:06:56.489,0:07:00.878
And while I was just about[br]to collapse myself,

0:07:00.878,0:07:04.038
and my friends, whom I shared [br]the bread with,

0:07:04.596,0:07:08.596
they came and they formed[br]a chair with their arms,

0:07:08.596,0:07:10.896
and they carried me so I wouldn't die.

0:07:10.896,0:07:12.616
Isn't that amazing?

0:07:13.017,0:07:17.737
That the worst conditions[br]can bring out the best in us?

0:07:19.251,0:07:25.151
I was liberated May 4th -[br]it's coming up - 1945,

0:07:25.151,0:07:27.564
by the 71st Infantry.

0:07:27.564,0:07:30.684
I was so privileged

0:07:30.684,0:07:35.894
that I am working now with the military,[br]doing work with PTSD.

0:07:35.894,0:07:40.088
I was invited to Fort Carson,[br]Colorado City,

0:07:40.088,0:07:46.221
and I realized when I arrived[br]that it's the home of the 71st Infantry.

0:07:46.221,0:07:49.011
You see how life comes around?

0:07:49.011,0:07:53.051
And now, today, as I'm standing[br]here in front of you,

0:07:53.051,0:07:56.765
I can tell you I have[br]nothing but gratitude.

0:07:56.765,0:08:01.595
We don't seem to appreciate, sometimes,[br]what we have until we lose it.

0:08:01.950,0:08:04.020
Every morsel of food.

0:08:05.933,0:08:08.433
The walk on this beautiful beach.

0:08:10.330,0:08:13.040
I never throw out a piece of bread.

0:08:13.443,0:08:18.453
If you take me out to dinner,[br]chances are I may eat up your leftovers.

0:08:18.453,0:08:22.977
It's really painful for me,[br]my daughter keeps telling me

0:08:22.977,0:08:24.997
and my precious grandson, Jordan.

0:08:24.998,0:08:29.228
Please, let people know[br]that beauty of mine.

0:08:29.228,0:08:32.926
Come on, stand up, Jordan! Jordan!

0:08:32.926,0:08:34.096
(Applause)

0:08:34.096,0:08:39.416
That's the best revenge![br]That's the best revenge - my kind!

0:08:39.940,0:08:41.310
That's all.

0:08:41.828,0:08:44.356
Not only do I have three children;

0:08:44.356,0:08:50.426
I have five grandchildren[br]and three beautiful great-grandsons.

0:08:50.907,0:08:53.237
That's revenge - my kind.

0:08:53.900,0:09:00.270
But I was not really able[br]to have the joy and the compassion

0:09:00.781,0:09:03.861
until I was able to return to Auschwitz,

0:09:04.437,0:09:07.312
until I was able to go back[br]to that lion's den

0:09:07.312,0:09:09.347
and look at the lion in the face -

0:09:09.347,0:09:12.999
until I was able to somehow[br]reclaim my innocence,

0:09:13.154,0:09:16.894
assign the shame and guilt[br]to the perpetrator

0:09:16.894,0:09:21.154
and finally forgive myself[br]that I survived.

0:09:21.827,0:09:24.927
You see, revenge gives you satisfaction,

0:09:26.121,0:09:28.581
but I think it's very temporary.

0:09:29.263,0:09:32.163
It just saps you of so much energy.

0:09:32.163,0:09:35.323
But forgiveness - believe me -

0:09:36.065,0:09:41.805
has given me the ultimate,[br]the ultimate spiritual freedom.

0:09:42.177,0:09:45.667
So, as I stand here in front of you today,

0:09:46.008,0:09:49.478
I can tell you that I'm so blessed today

0:09:49.872,0:09:53.872
that I can guide people[br]from darkness to light,

0:09:54.428,0:09:57.118
from prison to freedom

0:09:57.118,0:09:59.988
and to find that, perhaps,

0:10:00.251,0:10:05.371
the biggest concentration camp[br]is right in your own mind

0:10:05.371,0:10:08.231
and the key is in your pocket.

0:10:10.220,0:10:12.620
What keeps me young today?

0:10:13.520,0:10:15.550
That I live in the present

0:10:16.064,0:10:18.974
because I can only touch you now.

0:10:19.316,0:10:22.306
If you'd please like to hold hand in hand.

0:10:22.516,0:10:24.816
We all have a little skin hunger.

0:10:24.935,0:10:28.385
So please touch, hold hands!

0:10:29.280,0:10:34.910
And I, too, believe somehow,[br]as I am able to stand here,

0:10:34.910,0:10:37.340
look at you precious young people,

0:10:37.680,0:10:39.770
that you are the future.

0:10:40.729,0:10:46.729
With TED, you and I can empower[br]each other with our differences

0:10:47.059,0:10:50.274
and never kicking each other[br]into submission

0:10:50.274,0:10:53.099
because that would be[br]the beginning of the end

0:10:53.099,0:10:57.249
of the beautiful democracy[br]that I came to this country for.

0:10:57.976,0:11:01.976
So just remember,[br]you can make a difference.

0:11:02.788,0:11:05.666
And remember my mom's words,

0:11:06.206,0:11:10.406
that everything can be taken away from us

0:11:10.926,0:11:13.756
except what you put in your own mind.

0:11:14.299,0:11:20.149
So I hope that you will be[br]very careful and very selective

0:11:20.592,0:11:23.362
with the words that you[br]can put in your mind

0:11:23.677,0:11:29.227
so your life would be[br]as beautiful as mine has become,

0:11:29.514,0:11:34.134
and you and I can truly celebrate

0:11:34.134,0:11:38.624
the beautiful gift[br]that God has given us called life.

0:11:39.185,0:11:40.555
Thank you!

0:11:40.555,0:11:43.475
(Applause)