1 00:00:03,697 --> 00:00:05,746 So, I arrive in this restaurant, 2 00:00:05,746 --> 00:00:07,537 so chic, so classy... 3 00:00:07,537 --> 00:00:09,885 that no one talks. 4 00:00:09,885 --> 00:00:14,749 I think it is so expensive that everybody is just frozen.. 5 00:00:14,749 --> 00:00:17,138 There's no: "hey man", "what's up"... 6 00:00:17,138 --> 00:00:19,248 No! Even the laughters, 7 00:00:19,248 --> 00:00:22,906 are like a 130 euros laugh 8 00:00:25,537 --> 00:00:32,642 It is so classy, so elegant, that there is lady playing the harp. 9 00:00:32,642 --> 00:00:35,629 And you act like it's perfectly normal.. no problem 10 00:00:35,629 --> 00:00:42,284 Stop kidding me, last time you were in a burger joint, there was nobody playing the f... harp! 11 00:00:49,777 --> 00:00:53,263 We arrived at our table, the waiter pulled my chair, 12 00:00:53,263 --> 00:00:55,413 but in these restaurants, not only do they pull your chair, 13 00:00:55,413 --> 00:00:59,857 but when you bend your legs, the move it forward for you... 14 00:00:59,857 --> 00:01:02,162 I've never fully understood that: 15 00:01:02,162 --> 00:01:06,953 they want to coincide... exactly to the moment when you sit... with your landing... 16 00:01:06,953 --> 00:01:10,858 WTF! You think I don't know I need to bend my legs to sit! 17 00:01:10,858 --> 00:01:13,898 It irritates me so much, that I fake the moment I sit, 18 00:01:13,898 --> 00:01:15,556 I trick him... 19 00:01:17,695 --> 00:01:20,722 So the waiter is on the Olympic Games of the Chair! 20 00:01:20,722 --> 00:01:23,904 He's like: "when the f... is he gonna sit?" 21 00:01:28,719 --> 00:01:29,840 I finally sat. 22 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:33,747 We each had 5 plates, 6 knives, 7 glasses and 9 forks. 23 00:01:33,747 --> 00:01:38,029 I called the waiter: "We're only 2!" 24 00:01:38,029 --> 00:01:41,352 He gave us the menus 25 00:01:41,352 --> 00:01:46,359 In these restaurants, on the menu that they give to you, the guy, the prices are listed. 26 00:01:46,359 --> 00:01:52,378 But on the girl's there are no prices... I've never understood that. 27 00:01:52,378 --> 00:01:55,498 Are they afraid to scare the women? 28 00:01:55,498 --> 00:01:59,737 So you see the prices, you face reality! 29 00:01:59,737 --> 00:02:02,616 And you wait... 30 00:02:02,616 --> 00:02:05,496 you're pending... 31 00:02:05,496 --> 00:02:09,378 You don't know where it's gonna go.. 32 00:02:09,378 --> 00:02:11,976 And in that moment, you can be the greatest gentleman that ever was, 33 00:02:11,976 --> 00:02:14,167 whenever she says the name of a dish 34 00:02:14,167 --> 00:02:18,790 you go left to right on the menu... 35 00:02:23,330 --> 00:02:32,297 When a waiter tells you what you're gonna eat, you have the impression he's acting in a play: 36 00:02:32,297 --> 00:02:37,163 Ladies and Gentlemen, 37 00:02:37,163 --> 00:02:45,167 For you tonight, triple grapefruit flip, 38 00:02:45,167 --> 00:02:49,956 on a sleeping bed of berries coulis, 39 00:02:49,956 --> 00:02:52,151 pirouette and omelette in pineapple, 40 00:02:52,151 --> 00:02:56,315 and catamaran of banana confit, 41 00:02:56,315 --> 00:03:02,928 softly placed on a thin pastry shell... 42 00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:12,053 They finally bring the food... under a dome! 43 00:03:12,053 --> 00:03:14,712 I've never understood this concept: it's chic, it's under a dome 44 00:03:14,712 --> 00:03:17,830 Why do you hide the food? Is it a game? Should I guess? 45 00:03:17,830 --> 00:03:22,246 That's an idiotic game! I'm the one who ordered, I know what under the f... dome! 46 00:03:22,246 --> 00:03:24,457 You're gonna ask me to guess, i'm gonna say: "Grapefruit" 47 00:03:24,457 --> 00:03:28,058 You're gonna uncover, and daah! "grapefruit!" 48 00:03:28,058 --> 00:03:30,097 Think man! 49 00:03:30,097 --> 00:03:32,237 These guys arrive with their dish covered by domes.. 50 00:03:32,237 --> 00:03:35,568 The specialists.... The dommers... 51 00:03:36,722 --> 00:03:40,070 They lift them all together, like a ballet, 52 00:03:40,070 --> 00:03:43,146 "The Dome Choregraphy" 53 00:03:44,362 --> 00:03:48,118 And there you see a single shrimp! A tiny one! 54 00:03:48,118 --> 00:03:51,829 You're looking around, you ask the shrimp: 'Are you alone there?' 55 00:03:51,829 --> 00:03:58,488 Even the shrimp looked at us and admitted: "It's really ridiculous!" 56 00:04:00,011 --> 00:04:01,581 So we ate, 57 00:04:01,581 --> 00:04:07,247 The guy came at the end and dared to ask us: "A digestive maybe?" (after-dinner liqueur) 58 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:10,549 What do you want me digesting! 59 00:04:10,549 --> 00:04:14,549 He brought us the check, and I thought "F..., we should have asked for an estimate"