[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:06.51,0:00:09.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the dark of the night, 4 a.m.,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.16,0:00:14.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I look over and my husband's not there.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:17.82,0:00:20.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I look further, and I find him
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.65,0:00:26.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,flat on his back,\Nlooking at the ceiling, arms out.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.10,0:00:32.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Our lives are hollow\Nand meaningless without children."
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.64,0:00:36.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It had been two-and-a-half years
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.14,0:00:40.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of hopes and prayers\Nand failed fertility treatments.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:41.34,0:00:43.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No one had come.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.38,0:00:50.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the despair that ripped through\Nour hearts woke us night after night -
Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.49,0:00:56.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to the point where friends and family\Ncalled just to see how we were doing.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.45,0:00:59.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because we so clearly were depressed.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.06,0:01:03.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As a clinical psychologist and scientist,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.42,0:01:08.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had been trained to see\Nthat depression is a disease.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.60,0:01:13.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Much like cancer or diabetes,\Ndepression as a disease had symptoms
Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.83,0:01:16.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of despair and isolation.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.24,0:01:22.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And yet that simply did not explain\Nthe road we were traveling,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.02,0:01:28.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,nor did it explain the depression\Nthat follows loss of a spouse,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.46,0:01:30.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,miscarriage, trauma,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.35,0:01:35.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or the natural transitions\Nsophomore slump, mid-life crisis,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.48,0:01:40.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,portholes in passages - chapter breaks\Nthat seemed core to who we are -
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.94,0:01:44.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,were not aberrant illnesses.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.18,0:01:47.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They were not diseases.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.18,0:01:51.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so my husband and I continued
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.08,0:01:56.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with each cycle ending in a disappointment\Nthat felt like a funeral.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.58,0:02:01.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And as we continued\Ndown our road of trials,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.76,0:02:07.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we started ever so gradually,\Nover months and years
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.57,0:02:14.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to open our eyes from a dark\Nand isolated place, quite alone,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.37,0:02:22.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to a place where we started to hear\Nthe guidance of helpers and healers:
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.51,0:02:29.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the folks who, on the Appalachian Trail,\Nthrough hikers called "trail angels"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.91,0:02:34.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for bringing food and water\Nwhen they need it most.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.79,0:02:39.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Our trail angels brought\Nwhat we needed most:
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.53,0:02:41.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wisdom and guidance.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.70,0:02:45.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So one day I came home\Nafter yet another in vitro
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.06,0:02:48.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with the haunting feeling\Nas I drove my car
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.64,0:02:51.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that this too was a failure.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.37,0:02:54.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And sure enough, as I stepped to the door,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.87,0:02:59.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the evidence was incontrovertible.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.28,0:03:04.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A tiny dead duck embryo\Nlay on my threshold.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:05.35,0:03:09.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I knew it was not possible\Nthe embryo in me was alive.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.86,0:03:13.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so I went to bed\Nand had a long depressing nap
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.53,0:03:19.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to awake - (Imitating knocking sound)\Nto a duck -
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.12,0:03:21.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the mama duck,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:21.77,0:03:25.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who had lost her aspirational baby.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.67,0:03:27.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the mama duck was persistent.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.31,0:03:30.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I thought what would the duck\Nwant with me. (Imitating knocking sound)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.68,0:03:32.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She wanted to come towards me.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:32.28,0:03:36.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And as I opened the door,\NI saw she had brought me a gift -
Dialogue: 0,0:03:36.35,0:03:38.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the most precious thing\Nin the world to her.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:38.65,0:03:41.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She had brought me a plump, juicy worm.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.60,0:03:47.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mama duck and I, there we were,\Ntwo aspirational mothers, not alone.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:47.100,0:03:50.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not alone because duck and I\Nwere side by side,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.57,0:03:54.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and not alone because\Nof the great force that brought duck.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:55.43,0:03:59.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so, too, through that force\Ncame the guy on the bus.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:59.57,0:04:02.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the guy on the bus winked,\Nleaned over, and said,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:02.63,0:04:06.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You seem like just type of mother\Nthat would go all around the world
Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.51,0:04:11.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,adopting all types of kids,"\Nopening up that new possibility.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.12,0:04:17.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Listening to the helpers\Nand healers opened my awareness,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:18.23,0:04:21.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so that the next time\NI was woken in the night
Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.53,0:04:24.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was not by the rip of depression,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:24.66,0:04:28.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but by a great\Nand clearly sacred presence -
Dialogue: 0,0:04:30.17,0:04:35.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a presence with a love so great\Nand a gravitas that I sat up.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.84,0:04:41.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the presence said,\N"If you were pregnant, would you adopt?"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:41.92,0:04:47.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I said something so awesome\Nand great: the truth, which was, "No".
Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.25,0:04:50.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I also knew that this journey
Dialogue: 0,0:04:52.06,0:04:54.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was more than a disease,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:55.63,0:04:58.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that this depression\Nwas opening the door
Dialogue: 0,0:04:59.46,0:05:03.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on a path of "becoming" -\Na spiritual path.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:10.78,0:05:13.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Continuing down this path,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:15.95,0:05:18.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wanted that baby.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:18.76,0:05:22.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was great that I was on\Na spiritual path, but I wanted that baby.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:22.42,0:05:24.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so we didn't quit.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.96,0:05:28.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Up and down the East Coast\Nto the best IVF labs in the country.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.76,0:05:33.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We went so far as to find\Nthe team that invented IVF,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:33.94,0:05:39.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and sitting there in solidarity\Non bed rest with my spouse,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:39.91,0:05:45.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we found that the remote was stuck\Nin our hotel room on one channel -
Dialogue: 0,0:05:46.94,0:05:50.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one interminable documentary,\Nfour hours
Dialogue: 0,0:05:50.99,0:05:52.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:53.99,0:05:56.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of a little boy -
Dialogue: 0,0:05:57.89,0:06:02.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a little boy who stood\Nin a garbage dump alone,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:04.50,0:06:10.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and said, "I don't care that I'm poor.\NI don't care that I can't go to school.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:10.60,0:06:13.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it hurts so much to not be loved
Dialogue: 0,0:06:13.77,0:06:17.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I sniff glue\Nto make the pain go away."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:19.21,0:06:22.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And lying there\Nin our multiple rounds of IVF,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:22.12,0:06:24.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my husband and I looked at each other.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:24.42,0:06:26.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he said it first.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:26.29,0:06:29.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We knew there was a child\Nout there for us.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:31.36,0:06:33.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We made our way
Dialogue: 0,0:06:34.73,0:06:38.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to a wise woman\Nand hovered around her table,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:38.50,0:06:40.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the daughter of a once clergyman.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:40.90,0:06:42.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She looked at us and said frankly,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:42.97,0:06:46.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What is it that you are\Nlooking for in your child?"
Dialogue: 0,0:06:46.70,0:06:48.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I leaned in and said,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:48.94,0:06:52.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Well, I don't care\Nif this is a boy or a girl.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:52.31,0:06:57.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't care what race this child is.\NJust please, a child who can love."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:57.65,0:07:02.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And my husband jumped in and he said,\N"Well yes, all that, but kind of a girl."
Dialogue: 0,0:07:02.22,0:07:04.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:05.86,0:07:10.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What we knew in common\Nwas that the voice that said
Dialogue: 0,0:07:10.26,0:07:15.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you will never be parents, the voice\Nthat came from being alone in darkness
Dialogue: 0,0:07:16.17,0:07:19.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was now a voice\Nthat said parenting is love.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:20.31,0:07:23.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It hurts so much to not be loved.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:23.01,0:07:26.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All he wanted was a mom,\Nall I wanted was a child.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:26.66,0:07:29.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What would have made us family was love.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:29.65,0:07:31.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Parenting was love.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:34.15,0:07:41.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This was depression as a portal\Nto a world of connection, a world of love,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:42.19,0:07:45.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a world in which we walk a spiritual path.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:46.67,0:07:50.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This was depression\Nas only one side of the door.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:51.70,0:07:56.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And on the other [side of the] door\Nwas illumination, warmth, light,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:58.15,0:08:01.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and spiritual path, a spiritual passage.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:01.75,0:08:05.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, as a clinical scientist, \Nit was clear to me
Dialogue: 0,0:08:05.92,0:08:08.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that anything true
Dialogue: 0,0:08:09.22,0:08:13.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,through yet another human lense\Nof knowing can be again shown.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:14.20,0:08:16.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The certainty I had
Dialogue: 0,0:08:16.10,0:08:20.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that depression and spirituality\Nare two sides of one door
Dialogue: 0,0:08:20.15,0:08:23.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,seemed well within reach of science.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:24.40,0:08:29.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so my lab, together with that\Nof Myrna Weissman and Brad Peterson
Dialogue: 0,0:08:29.47,0:08:33.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and Rafi Bancell, did the science:
Dialogue: 0,0:08:33.01,0:08:36.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,two sides of one door -\Nwhere is it in the brain?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:36.65,0:08:42.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Where is depression as the portal\Nof the spiritual path, not the disease.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:42.52,0:08:44.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And we found it.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:44.62,0:08:48.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And we found it in broad\Nand pervasive regions of the cortex.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:49.23,0:08:50.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We welcomed into our lab
Dialogue: 0,0:08:50.86,0:08:56.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,deeply depressed people from families\Nloaded up with generations of depression,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:56.24,0:09:00.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and similar people with families\Nloaded up with generations of depression
Dialogue: 0,0:09:00.63,0:09:03.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who through their journey of suffering
Dialogue: 0,0:09:03.20,0:09:07.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,had reached a foundationally\Nspiritual path.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:07.75,0:09:13.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People whose lead foot was now depression\Nfor having traveled the darkness.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:13.59,0:09:15.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And what we found
Dialogue: 0,0:09:15.42,0:09:19.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was that in precisely\Nthose regions of the brain
Dialogue: 0,0:09:19.16,0:09:23.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which atrophied and withered\Nin lifelong depression.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:23.73,0:09:26.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For those people with a strong\Npersonal spirituality,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:26.83,0:09:30.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there was a thickening\Nof those very same regions.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:30.88,0:09:32.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The cortex was thick
Dialogue: 0,0:09:32.60,0:09:35.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as if you were looking\Nat a tree in the Amazon
Dialogue: 0,0:09:35.98,0:09:39.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,versus a tree whithering\Nunder the cold and drought.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:40.41,0:09:44.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Two sides of one door is in us. \NDepression is not always an illness.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:44.82,0:09:45.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It can be.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:45.99,0:09:49.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We can need to be rebooted\Nor recalibrated or medicated.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:49.59,0:09:50.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It can be.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:50.72,0:09:55.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But very often, depression\Nas everyone will face it
Dialogue: 0,0:09:56.20,0:10:01.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is core to our endowment,\Nand core to our development.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:04.20,0:10:07.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My husband and I continued\Nnow with this knowledge:
Dialogue: 0,0:10:07.37,0:10:11.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that we were on the spiritual path\Nin search of our child.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:11.77,0:10:14.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was clear that our suffering\Nwas not for naught,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:14.28,0:10:16.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it was not an empty symptom,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:16.69,0:10:20.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and with the awareness\Nthat we were "becoming,"
Dialogue: 0,0:10:21.72,0:10:23.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the presence came back.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:24.76,0:10:29.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The presence asked the same question\Nin a deep and profound way.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:30.26,0:10:33.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And my answer was honest, \Nwhich is I am getting there.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:33.17,0:10:36.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can feel we're down the road.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:36.43,0:10:37.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There is the possibility
Dialogue: 0,0:10:37.96,0:10:40.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of spiritually evolving into\Nthe person who would answer yes.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:40.84,0:10:42.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But no, I'm not quite there
Dialogue: 0,0:10:42.64,0:10:45.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where I would still adopt\Na child if I were pregnant.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:45.98,0:10:48.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My love has grown,\Nbut is my love that great?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:48.51,0:10:49.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not yet.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:50.45,0:10:52.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so we continued, and I found myself
Dialogue: 0,0:10:52.87,0:10:56.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the community of those\Nwho for generations have known
Dialogue: 0,0:10:56.26,0:10:59.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that depression\Nis but one side of the door,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:59.26,0:11:01.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and spiritual awakening the other.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:01.28,0:11:04.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Seated on the floor\Nof the "Inipi", the sweat lodge,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:04.80,0:11:08.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,among the Lakota in South Dakota,\NI joined the circle of women.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:09.58,0:11:12.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And here, each woman talked about\Nthe suffering which had brought her
Dialogue: 0,0:11:12.94,0:11:14.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to our collective prayer.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:14.68,0:11:18.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'My son, he's 40.\NHe has not come home to his family.'
Dialogue: 0,0:11:18.34,0:11:21.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'My son, he's 14, and he's starting\Nto use substance.'
Dialogue: 0,0:11:21.85,0:11:26.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I, in turn, shared that I was\Nsearching for my spiritual child.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:27.38,0:11:29.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Together, we prayed and we sent it up.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:29.58,0:11:34.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We sent our prayer both for one another,\Nourselves and the collective, up
Dialogue: 0,0:11:35.93,0:11:38.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to Great Spirit, "Wananchi."
Dialogue: 0,0:11:42.54,0:11:45.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That night, a call came.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:45.14,0:11:50.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They had found him, that very night\Non the other side of the earth.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:51.38,0:11:54.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have found the Miller's child\Nwas the message.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:54.95,0:11:58.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There are great girls\Nand we can sure find you a girl,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:58.68,0:12:02.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but this is the Millers child,\Nand this is a son.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:05.09,0:12:08.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This time, clinical science
Dialogue: 0,0:12:08.26,0:12:11.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,had something to say\Nto the spiritual path.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:11.26,0:12:14.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When we looked at the women\Nwho, through suffering,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:14.53,0:12:18.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,had come to a spiritual path,\Nwith nice thick cortexes,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:18.57,0:12:20.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they also had another quality:
Dialogue: 0,0:12:20.64,0:12:23.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the back to their head gave off\Na certain wave length of energy
Dialogue: 0,0:12:23.98,0:12:25.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that we call "Alpha."
Dialogue: 0,0:12:25.42,0:12:29.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it's also found on the back\Nof the head of a meditating monk.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:30.92,0:12:34.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Alpha has another name,\Nit's Shuman's constant.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:34.15,0:12:37.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's the wave length of the earth's crust.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:37.26,0:12:43.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The spiritually engaged brain vibrates\Nat the frequency at the earth's crust.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:43.96,0:12:49.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,From the Inipi across the globe\Nwas found Isaiah, in through this matrix
Dialogue: 0,0:12:49.67,0:12:54.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of consciousness, love, this sacred field\Nthat is in us, through us, around us
Dialogue: 0,0:12:54.71,0:12:57.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and covers all living earth.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:59.88,0:13:05.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is the world in which we live -\Na world in which we're never alone
Dialogue: 0,0:13:05.55,0:13:09.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and in which there is guidance,\Ntrail angels, helpers and healers.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:09.69,0:13:13.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And through the field of love\Ncomes just the person,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:13.26,0:13:19.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the guy on the bus, the medicine woman,\Njust that living being, the duck,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:20.03,0:13:24.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the wise, generous animals,\Nour sisters and brothers.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:24.40,0:13:29.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In fact, we can no longer begin to think\Nthat we are actors on an inert stage,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:29.67,0:13:31.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but that the world is alive
Dialogue: 0,0:13:31.74,0:13:37.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and infused with that sacred field\Nwe might measure as high amplitude alpha.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:38.49,0:13:42.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Knowing this, we live\Ninto an inspired life -
Dialogue: 0,0:13:42.96,0:13:46.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a life of meaning\Nthat is not one that we create
Dialogue: 0,0:13:46.42,0:13:50.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but meaning that is truly\Nin the fabric of the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:51.50,0:13:54.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We live in an inspired life.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:56.35,0:14:00.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Isaiah, my son, had been found,\Nnamed Isaiah,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:00.44,0:14:03.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for "one world" in Lakota\Nfor those who helped find him.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:05.95,0:14:08.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And yet, we still,\Nalthough far less depressed
Dialogue: 0,0:14:08.95,0:14:11.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and much more full of love and connection,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:11.29,0:14:15.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,had the anxiety of actually\Nmeeting him, finding him,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:15.32,0:14:17.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,bringing him home.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:17.62,0:14:21.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then one day, the FedEx came\Nand we peeled it open
Dialogue: 0,0:14:21.76,0:14:23.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and there was the video.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:23.06,0:14:24.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We popped it in
Dialogue: 0,0:14:24.29,0:14:29.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the most joyous little boy,\Nfull of happiness, arm around the nurse -
Dialogue: 0,0:14:32.59,0:14:37.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a love like I had never felt lifted me up,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:37.58,0:14:41.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and any remnant of depression\Nwere shards on the ground.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:41.58,0:14:46.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And together, my husband and I\Nwent to bed as parents.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:47.05,0:14:50.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That night, the presence came back -
Dialogue: 0,0:14:51.69,0:14:54.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the great sacred presence\Nfor the third time.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:54.62,0:14:58.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"If you were pregnant now,\Nwould you adopt?"
Dialogue: 0,0:14:58.77,0:15:02.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Yes, I found my spiritual son, yes."
Dialogue: 0,0:15:03.67,0:15:07.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that night,\Nwe conceived naturally -
Dialogue: 0,0:15:09.10,0:15:10.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,his sister.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:12.63,0:15:14.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We had spiritual twins.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:16.50,0:15:19.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So when you hear the knock,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:20.25,0:15:22.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,consider the invitation.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:24.06,0:15:30.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What sounds shocking, and as if the hand\Nthat takes from inside the darkness
Dialogue: 0,0:15:31.33,0:15:34.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when we walk through the door\Nis the hand that invites
Dialogue: 0,0:15:34.69,0:15:37.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that guides and ultimately gives.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:39.83,0:15:43.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,On the other side of the door\Nis the inspired life
Dialogue: 0,0:15:44.81,0:15:47.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,brought to us by the presence.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:49.12,0:15:50.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thanks.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:50.42,0:15:51.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)