1 00:00:03,306 --> 00:00:13,622 "Amish Paradise" 2 00:00:13,622 --> 00:00:16,473 As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain 3 00:00:16,473 --> 00:00:19,489 I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain 4 00:00:19,489 --> 00:00:21,956 But that's just perfect for an Amish like me 5 00:00:21,956 --> 00:00:24,939 You know, I shun fancy things like electricity 6 00:00:24,939 --> 00:00:28,038 At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows 7 00:00:28,038 --> 00:00:31,633 Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool 8 00:00:31,633 --> 00:00:34,127 And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that 9 00:00:34,127 --> 00:00:37,006 Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone 10 00:00:37,006 --> 00:00:39,724 I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline 11 00:00:39,724 --> 00:00:42,823 Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin 12 00:00:42,823 --> 00:00:45,806 But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine 13 00:00:45,806 --> 00:00:49,288 Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699 14 00:00:49,288 --> 00:00:54,974 We been spending most our lives Living in an Amish paradise 15 00:00:54,974 --> 00:01:00,724 I've churned butter once or twice Living in an Amish paradise 16 00:01:00,724 --> 00:01:06,607 It's hard work and sacrifice Living in an Amish paradise 17 00:01:06,607 --> 00:01:12,451 We sell quilts at discount price Living in an Amish paradise 18 00:01:12,451 --> 00:01:15,206 A local boy kicked me in the butt last week 19 00:01:15,206 --> 00:01:18,282 I just smiled at him and turned the other cheek 20 00:01:18,282 --> 00:01:20,657 I really don't care, in fact I wish him well 21 00:01:20,657 --> 00:01:23,791 'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell 22 00:01:23,791 --> 00:01:26,692 But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it 23 00:01:26,692 --> 00:01:29,758 An Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of 24 00:01:29,758 --> 00:01:32,508 I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat 25 00:01:32,508 --> 00:01:36,059 And my homies agree, I really look good in black...fool 26 00:01:36,059 --> 00:01:38,408 If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears 27 00:01:38,408 --> 00:01:41,508 We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years 28 00:01:41,508 --> 00:01:44,509 But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare 29 00:01:44,509 --> 00:01:47,035 We're just technologically impaired 30 00:01:47,035 --> 00:01:50,078 There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar 31 00:01:50,078 --> 00:01:53,162 Not a single luxury 32 00:01:53,162 --> 00:01:56,027 Like Robinson Crusoe 33 00:01:56,027 --> 00:01:59,327 It's as primitive as can be 34 00:01:59,327 --> 00:02:05,127 We been spending most our lives Living in an Amish paradise 35 00:02:05,127 --> 00:02:11,010 We're just plain and simple guys Living in an Amish paradise 36 00:02:11,010 --> 00:02:17,043 There's no time for sin and vice Living in an Amish paradise 37 00:02:17,043 --> 00:02:23,010 We don't fight, we all play nice Living in an Amish paradise 38 00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:25,628 Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter 39 00:02:25,628 --> 00:02:28,561 Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another 40 00:02:28,561 --> 00:02:31,288 Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart? 41 00:02:31,288 --> 00:02:34,479 Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art 42 00:02:34,479 --> 00:02:37,260 I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like 43 00:02:37,260 --> 00:02:40,580 On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife 44 00:02:40,580 --> 00:02:42,710 So don't be vain and don't be whiny 45 00:02:42,710 --> 00:02:46,278 Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie 46 00:02:46,278 --> 00:02:52,010 We been spending most our lives Living in an Amish paradise 47 00:02:52,010 --> 00:02:57,794 We're all crazy Mennonites Living in an Amish paradise 48 00:02:57,794 --> 00:03:03,693 There's no cops or traffic lights Living in an Amish paradise 49 00:03:03,693 --> 00:03:09,829 But you'd probably think it bites Living in an Amish paradise