WEBVTT 00:00:01.540 --> 00:00:04.730 Let me tell you a story, where you'll meet the characters 00:00:04.730 --> 00:00:07.993 who I'll call Bilal and Brenda. NOTE Paragraph 00:00:08.910 --> 00:00:12.060 I was working in a most remarkable part of the world. 00:00:12.060 --> 00:00:14.550 And one unremarkable morning, 00:00:14.790 --> 00:00:16.883 a colleague came to see me. 00:00:17.570 --> 00:00:21.350 She told me that Bilal, one of our senior executives, 00:00:21.350 --> 00:00:24.760 had been telling everyone I was being removed 00:00:24.760 --> 00:00:27.240 because I'd been messing with the wrong people. 00:00:27.240 --> 00:00:30.077 And now, I was going to face the consequences. NOTE Paragraph 00:00:30.560 --> 00:00:32.200 I wasn't alarmed, 00:00:32.200 --> 00:00:36.140 because I knew I had done what I'd been hired to do: 00:00:36.140 --> 00:00:37.800 my job, 00:00:37.800 --> 00:00:40.200 dealing with thorny issues head on 00:00:40.200 --> 00:00:42.890 and leaving no stone unturned. 00:00:43.260 --> 00:00:45.920 In fact, in the months prior to this, 00:00:45.920 --> 00:00:48.910 we'd overturned more than just a few stones. 00:00:48.910 --> 00:00:51.993 Those details are for another time. NOTE Paragraph 00:00:52.770 --> 00:00:54.670 I called my husband, James, 00:00:54.670 --> 00:00:57.660 to tell him about this bizarre conversation, 00:00:57.930 --> 00:01:00.720 and with what proved to be great foresight, 00:01:00.720 --> 00:01:05.797 he said, "Angélique, pack your things and call Brenda, in that order." NOTE Paragraph 00:01:06.620 --> 00:01:08.170 I called Brenda. 00:01:08.170 --> 00:01:10.300 I'd worked with her for a number of years, 00:01:10.300 --> 00:01:12.120 and I trusted her. 00:01:12.120 --> 00:01:15.203 She was the person who'd recommended me for that job. 00:01:15.910 --> 00:01:17.350 I cut to the chase, 00:01:17.350 --> 00:01:20.470 because my husband's reaction made me realize 00:01:20.470 --> 00:01:24.533 this was more than just the usual stuff I'd encountered before. 00:01:25.030 --> 00:01:29.330 And I say usual, but in that moment of clarity, 00:01:29.330 --> 00:01:33.510 it dawned on me what James had already recognized: 00:01:33.510 --> 00:01:35.713 none of this was usual. NOTE Paragraph 00:01:36.520 --> 00:01:41.330 These irregularities, part of a pattern I'd failed to notice, 00:01:41.330 --> 00:01:44.600 were what I now know as open secrets 00:01:44.600 --> 00:01:49.400 living beneath those proverbial stones I'd had the audacity to overturn. NOTE Paragraph 00:01:50.520 --> 00:01:54.430 To my shock, I learned that this was happening 00:01:54.430 --> 00:01:58.940 because I hadn't tried hard enough to operate in the "gray space." 00:01:59.620 --> 00:02:04.140 I didn't seem to know when to kick things into the long grass. 00:02:04.650 --> 00:02:09.090 And I didn't understand that this was how the system worked. 00:02:09.810 --> 00:02:12.573 The message, the implied threat, 00:02:12.573 --> 00:02:14.103 was clear. NOTE Paragraph 00:02:15.570 --> 00:02:17.470 Over the next few weeks, 00:02:17.470 --> 00:02:22.180 I was replaced by a convenient yes-man while I was still there. 00:02:22.950 --> 00:02:25.463 I suffered from terrible gastritis, 00:02:25.680 --> 00:02:28.680 and I pretended to our two young daughters 00:02:28.680 --> 00:02:30.585 that I still had that job. 00:02:31.210 --> 00:02:35.400 Leaving home every morning, dressed up as if for work, 00:02:35.400 --> 00:02:39.273 to drop them to school, for six months. NOTE Paragraph 00:02:40.650 --> 00:02:42.453 I did not submit, 00:02:43.250 --> 00:02:46.310 but I won't pretend that it was easy to speak up 00:02:46.310 --> 00:02:51.250 or beneficial in any way to me, to my family or to my career. NOTE Paragraph 00:02:52.040 --> 00:02:56.660 When we speak up in the workplace despite policies to the contrary, 00:02:56.660 --> 00:02:59.000 whilst we may not lose our jobs, 00:02:59.000 --> 00:03:03.320 we are likely to lose the camaraderie of our coworkers. 00:03:03.320 --> 00:03:06.000 Disbelieved, ostracized, 00:03:06.000 --> 00:03:08.510 faced with under-the-radar bullying. 00:03:08.510 --> 00:03:12.520 You know the kind when you walk into a room and everyone stops talking? 00:03:12.920 --> 00:03:17.573 We think: It's not my responsibility to say anything. NOTE Paragraph 00:03:18.800 --> 00:03:24.060 So why did I choose to act despite the risks to my family and to me? 00:03:24.980 --> 00:03:30.250 The sin of omission is a failure to do what you know is right. NOTE Paragraph 00:03:31.090 --> 00:03:32.920 When you stay quiet, 00:03:32.920 --> 00:03:36.220 even though you're not guilty of wrongdoing yourself, 00:03:36.220 --> 00:03:40.263 what will you have to live with if you don't take action? NOTE Paragraph 00:03:40.980 --> 00:03:44.620 So who are you in this lineup of actors? 00:03:44.620 --> 00:03:47.490 The bad actor, the wrongdoer? 00:03:47.490 --> 00:03:51.970 The bad stander who benefits directly or indirectly 00:03:51.970 --> 00:03:55.060 and acts as a puppet for the bad actor? 00:03:55.060 --> 00:03:58.350 The bystander, aware of the open secrets 00:03:58.350 --> 00:04:02.320 but not actually doing anything wrong or the upstander? 00:04:02.320 --> 00:04:05.890 This is the person we want to see when we look in the mirror. NOTE Paragraph 00:04:06.670 --> 00:04:08.960 I've learned three things: 00:04:08.960 --> 00:04:12.380 One, don't second guess yourself. 00:04:12.690 --> 00:04:16.480 When you see something amiss, ask questions, 00:04:16.480 --> 00:04:20.123 because it is okay to challenge those in authority. 00:04:20.710 --> 00:04:24.160 Two, don't be complicit. 00:04:24.160 --> 00:04:29.410 You always have the power to say no in the face of wrongdoing. 00:04:29.410 --> 00:04:33.040 And three, be an upstander. 00:04:33.040 --> 00:04:37.583 Speaking up is not about being brave. 00:04:37.583 --> 00:04:40.383 It's not about not feeling scared. 00:04:40.840 --> 00:04:45.900 But when you do what you know is right, you can be at peace with yourself. NOTE Paragraph 00:04:46.300 --> 00:04:51.190 Yes, it is hard to say what you feel in the moment. 00:04:51.190 --> 00:04:54.230 Do it anyway. Be fearless. NOTE Paragraph 00:04:54.740 --> 00:04:56.547 Martin Luther King said, 00:04:56.547 --> 00:05:01.207 "In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, 00:05:01.207 --> 00:05:04.350 but the silence of our friends." 00:05:04.350 --> 00:05:06.593 So when you look in the mirror, 00:05:06.910 --> 00:05:08.623 who will you see? 00:05:09.040 --> 00:05:12.700 A bystander, keeper of open secrets? 00:05:12.700 --> 00:05:16.573 Or will the person looking back at you be an upstander? NOTE Paragraph 00:05:16.794 --> 00:05:18.961 I know who I see. 00:05:19.157 --> 00:05:21.643 I know who my daughters see. 00:05:21.970 --> 00:05:24.513 The choice is yours.