WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.868 Stretch and cough as loud as you like now. 00:00:03.868 --> 00:00:05.742 You're not going to disturb anybody. 00:00:05.742 --> 00:00:10.921 Scratch knees, move your legs, move your bum. 00:00:10.921 --> 00:00:17.747 Get yourselves comfortable for the next part of this evening's festivities. 00:00:20.837 --> 00:00:26.856 The Dhamma talk. 00:00:49.608 --> 00:00:56.979 Excellent. So for this evening's Dhamma talk I had all sorts of ideas what I was 00:00:56.979 --> 00:01:00.239 going to speak about, actually not many of them, 00:01:00.239 --> 00:01:02.996 but it's quite obvious what I should speak about tonight, 00:01:02.996 --> 00:01:07.326 because it's a problem which is common to so many 00:01:07.326 --> 00:01:17.652 people and I've just been feeling it and overcoming it though this meditation: tiredness. 00:01:17.652 --> 00:01:22.526 Now, 3, 4, 5 years ago, I cannot remember when, 00:01:22.526 --> 00:01:27.481 that's the trouble with living in the present moment, as a monk we don't get 00:01:27.481 --> 00:01:32.733 dementia, we just get living-in-the-present-momentness 00:01:32.733 --> 00:01:37.609 [laughts] so we don't really think too much about past and future. 00:01:37.609 --> 00:01:40.804 So other people say - when did that happen? "In the past somewhere" 00:01:40.804 --> 00:01:44.139 we don't exactly remember when, and it's not as if you don't want 00:01:44.139 --> 00:01:49.500 to remember, it's just the efficiency of the brain and living in this moment 00:01:49.500 --> 00:01:52.806 rather than always living in that past. 00:01:52.806 --> 00:01:58.977 But a few years ago when I was teaching overseas as I often do, 00:01:58.977 --> 00:02:05.772 I was invited to spend the day at a youth seminar in Kuala Lumpur, 00:02:05.772 --> 00:02:12.491 it's a very interesting occassion, about 400-500 young people 15-25, 00:02:12.491 --> 00:02:16.548 doing all sorts of interesting stuff, one of the things they were doing 00:02:16.548 --> 00:02:24.078 is that they asked all the people there, what is your most difficult emotion 00:02:24.078 --> 00:02:32.322 as 15-25 year old, mostly Chinese Buddhists over in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. 00:02:32.322 --> 00:02:35.818 What do you find most difficult of all in life? 00:02:35.818 --> 00:02:42.784 And the answer which came up was tiredness. I never expected that before, 00:02:42.784 --> 00:02:47.682 but once they said that it was quite obvious why people are tired even 00:02:47.682 --> 00:02:55.316 when they are in the late teen years, 15 to 25. You can remember your time as a 00:02:55.316 --> 00:03:00.178 young man, a young woman, the pressure is really on you. 00:03:00.178 --> 00:03:04.911 You have to do well at school, your parents and teachers and 00:03:04.911 --> 00:03:09.220 friends say it's really important, so you have to do really well at homework 00:03:09.220 --> 00:03:11.286 and get good grades. 00:03:11.286 --> 00:03:16.646 That's one of the problems with young people, parents tell me off for this, 00:03:16.646 --> 00:03:19.305 but I'm supporting young people, it doesn't matter so much what 00:03:19.305 --> 00:03:22.334 grades you get at school. 00:03:22.334 --> 00:03:26.384 People have found, Daniel Goldman, emotional intelligence, found out 00:03:26.384 --> 00:03:30.547 that the grades you get at school and University, all those certificates, 00:03:30.547 --> 00:03:35.569 they don't really count for much when it comes to success in life. 00:03:35.569 --> 00:03:39.425 Success is not guaranteed by doing well at school. Something else is. 00:03:39.425 --> 00:03:44.554 That's why I was telling people just yesterday, in Singapore, came though there 00:03:44.554 --> 00:03:48.668 on the way back from Thailand, 00:03:48.668 --> 00:03:57.895 that if ever your kids get an "F" at school, did they ever work out what "F" means? 00:03:57.895 --> 00:04:04.376 I was a schoolteacher. "F" means Fantastic. [laughter] 00:04:04.376 --> 00:04:07.857 If they get an "E" that means Excellent. 00:04:07.857 --> 00:04:11.305 But if they get an "A" that means Arrogant. [laughter] 00:04:11.305 --> 00:04:15.044 All these people getting so proud of getting As and straight As, they really are 00:04:15.044 --> 00:04:19.980 a pain in the butt, aren't they. So full on themselves, "I got straight As..." 00:04:19.980 --> 00:04:26.594 So I prefer the Fs, the Fantastics. The Excellents. 00:04:26.594 --> 00:04:35.410 Because it's not so much the pressure on succeeding in that 00:04:35.410 --> 00:04:40.973 competition to get good grades, or to get a place in a good university, 00:04:40.973 --> 00:04:45.356 look at me, I got a place at one of the best universities, and what happened 00:04:45.356 --> 00:04:50.065 to me, didn't do me any good going to Cambridge, I might as well have 00:04:50.065 --> 00:04:54.227 gone to any old college, even no college at all. 00:04:54.227 --> 00:04:58.641 Actually, if I hadn't gone to Cambridge, I'd probably have become a monk even earlier. 00:04:58.641 --> 00:05:01.503 That would've been good, but anyway, this is just what happens 00:05:01.503 --> 00:05:03.701 in life, but you learn something there. 00:05:03.701 --> 00:05:12.669 On that subject, I like rambling, one of the important events in my life 00:05:12.669 --> 00:05:17.484 as a student which turned me more towards being a monk rather than being an academic. 00:05:17.484 --> 00:05:21.898 At the time I didn't realise its importance but when you look 00:05:21.898 --> 00:05:28.858 back and you find these are the crucial experiences which direct you in life, 00:05:28.858 --> 00:05:35.297 and that was when, I was a Buddhist at university, I had a few other Buddhists, 00:05:35.297 --> 00:05:40.773 but one of my best friends was a Christian, a very strong pracitising Christian, 00:05:40.773 --> 00:05:46.544 he became a hippy later in life, but anyway he was a really strong Christian. 00:05:46.544 --> 00:05:53.029 And he told me one day that together with a couple of his friends in Bible Study class 00:05:53.029 --> 00:06:00.282 they'd started to volunteer once a week to go to the local hospital for those who had 00:06:00.282 --> 00:06:04.913 mental disabilities and volunteer. 00:06:04.913 --> 00:06:09.523 And when he told me that I didn't want to go, but I felt 00:06:09.523 --> 00:06:15.142 if I didn't go I was letting down the team, Buddhism. So the only reason I 00:06:15.142 --> 00:06:21.637 volunteered to go was just ego, just pride, "if the Christians can do it, 00:06:21.637 --> 00:06:26.359 the Buddhists can do it as well!" That's what it was. 00:06:26.359 --> 00:06:31.024 I'm being quite honest - I just went there because he was going there, so I had to go there. 00:06:31.024 --> 00:06:34.339 But a strange thing happened! Like many things in life, 00:06:34.339 --> 00:06:39.229 you go and do something for one reason, you find other reasons start to become 00:06:39.229 --> 00:06:44.306 predominant and it really changes your life. Because those Christians, they went for 00:06:44.306 --> 00:06:49.292 two or three weeks and then dropped out. I went there for two years. 00:06:49.292 --> 00:06:55.324 Every afternoon when I was up in Cambridge and I would re-arrange 00:06:55.324 --> 00:07:02.300 tutorials and everything so I could go there. I loved it and I wondered why, 00:07:02.300 --> 00:07:10.692 why did I enjoy going there? I was helping out in the occupational therapy unit 00:07:10.692 --> 00:07:16.450 for those people with Down's Syndrome. It was incredible to see the emotional intelligence 00:07:16.450 --> 00:07:20.488 those kids had, not kids, young men, young women. 00:07:20.488 --> 00:07:25.628 Even though I never knew the words "emotional intelligence" 00:07:25.628 --> 00:07:30.328 this was in 1969-1971 or something, still, they were just so sensitive 00:07:30.328 --> 00:07:36.832 to a world I hadn't really been trained in. And I always remember, on a couple of occasions, 00:07:36.832 --> 00:07:43.988 I was a young man, you'd split up with your girlfriend, you'd go there and they'd pick it up straight away! 00:07:43.988 --> 00:07:49.075 I wouldn't need to tell them, they'd come running out and give me a hug. "Why are you doing that?" 00:07:49.075 --> 00:07:53.646 "There is something wrong isn't there?" "How the heck do you know that?" 00:07:53.646 --> 00:07:57.922 And they were just so sensitive to my feelings, they got to know me and love me. 00:07:57.922 --> 00:08:05.718 And they had this incredible emotional sensitivity. And when I was sitting next to Nobel laureates, 00:08:05.718 --> 00:08:14.036 which I did in a place like that, they were socially so insensitive, they hadn't got an emotional neuron 00:08:14.036 --> 00:08:18.582 in their brains. Well they did, I'm exaggerating there. 00:08:18.582 --> 00:08:21.582 But when it came to the professors of life, 00:08:21.582 --> 00:08:29.351 I preferred to spend the afternoon with people with Down's Syndrome. I learnt much more from them. 00:08:29.351 --> 00:08:35.890 And I grew much more from them. I had to empathise with people. When you're with professors, or lecturers 00:08:35.890 --> 00:08:44.439 or even your friends, they were all talking, ah...the word is... "gomayan" [?] 00:08:44.439 --> 00:08:48.039 it takes me a long while to say, it's the Pali word for bullshit. 00:08:48.039 --> 00:08:54.905 You know all in their head, no idea of their feelings. The boys and the girls couldn't 00:08:54.905 --> 00:09:02.330 understand how to get on with each other, just all fantasies and dreams and ideas and 00:09:02.330 --> 00:09:11.864 philosophies. You go with these people with Down's Syndrome, and they felt, they knew the emotions. 00:09:11.864 --> 00:09:18.585 They couldn't do well at school, they were terrible at things like maths, but when it came to being able 00:09:18.585 --> 00:09:25.617 to feel what you're feeling and actually be kind to you, they were geniuses. And it came to the point I'd 00:09:25.617 --> 00:09:33.913 rather spend the afternoon with those people than with professors. I didn't know why at the time but 00:09:33.913 --> 00:09:40.225 it would actually encourage me in another area of life, this great emotional intelligence. 00:09:40.225 --> 00:09:45.592 It's because we're not sensitive to that inner world of emotions, we keep thinking too much, 00:09:45.592 --> 00:09:51.225 doing too much, it's one of the reasons why we're tired. But anyway, these young kids I saw, 00:09:51.225 --> 00:09:56.948 that was their biggest problem in life. And once they told me that, told everybody, 00:09:56.948 --> 00:10:04.516 they opened up huge areas of improving our lives both physically and emotionally, 00:10:04.516 --> 00:10:07.707 and with relations as well. 00:10:07.707 --> 00:10:14.239 How many of you when you come home from work are grumpy? 00:10:14.239 --> 00:10:21.104 Even angry? So many people keep asking me: "My husband is in such a bad mood 00:10:21.104 --> 00:10:26.232 every time, he's always shouting at the kids, he's a terrible pain in the neck to live with. 00:10:26.232 --> 00:10:30.983 Why? Can you get him some anger management counselling or something?" 00:10:30.983 --> 00:10:35.151 I basically say, well teach him how to sleep at night. 00:10:35.151 --> 00:10:41.390 Teach him how to have a good rest. See if he can overcome that tiredness 00:10:41.390 --> 00:10:45.847 which is so deeply embedded in our humanity today. 00:10:45.847 --> 00:10:52.512 I'm only saying this because this is how I understand things, there is no research 00:10:52.512 --> 00:10:57.383 to back me up here, but I'm sure that if people did that research they'd probably 00:10:57.383 --> 00:11:05.116 discover what I know, and that is that it's tiredness that creates so many divorces, 00:11:05.116 --> 00:11:09.963 so many relationships would break up because of tiredness. 00:11:09.963 --> 00:11:14.649 And sicknesses such as cancers, heart disease, because of tiredness. 00:11:14.649 --> 00:11:19.479 And even other things, an obvious sickness which is very prevalent today 00:11:19.479 --> 00:11:27.779 is depression - a very deep tiredness. It's such an obvious thing that there's 00:11:27.779 --> 00:11:33.566 a big problem in this world. Maybe you've had times of tiredness 00:11:33.566 --> 00:11:38.345 it's as if the world is too heavy to bear any longer. 00:11:38.345 --> 00:11:45.794 You really have to push so hard just to get by, the struggle takes so much energy, 00:11:45.794 --> 00:11:52.542 and at times you have no more energy to give, you go into this hole of depression, 00:11:52.542 --> 00:11:59.173 just absolutely low energy, nothing to give to anything, can't even get out of bed sometimes. 00:11:59.173 --> 00:12:03.916 Then you want to get out of bed, don't want to eat or do anything. 00:12:03.916 --> 00:12:09.108 Simply because you've got absolutely no energy at all, you are deeply tired. 00:12:09.108 --> 00:12:14.824 We now have chronic fatigue syndrome. I don't remember that when I was a kid. 00:12:14.824 --> 00:12:21.941 Why is that? Of course obviously, that is a problem, tiredness, and the reason is 00:12:21.941 --> 00:12:25.211 because we have so much to do in this world. 00:12:25.211 --> 00:12:29.414 The reason I'm rushing off after this talk is because there's a monk 00:12:29.414 --> 00:12:35.263 Bhante Gunaratana, a very famous monk, a really nice monk, he's been here before, 00:12:35.263 --> 00:12:40.940 he's 88, and he was supposed to come and teach a meditation retreat at Jhana Grove this weekend. 00:12:40.940 --> 00:12:45.400 When we heard he was here we moved Heaven and Earth to try to get him to come here 00:12:45.400 --> 00:12:51.619 to get the retreat free for that weekend and advertise it, buy him the airline tickets. 00:12:51.619 --> 00:12:56.555 But then he got too sick. So his doctor said no, you can't come. 00:12:56.555 --> 00:13:02.096 So where does the buck stop? At the top - so I've got to teach 00:13:02.096 --> 00:13:07.658 the retreat in his place. I should be relaxing this weekend, 00:13:07.658 --> 00:13:11.089 I've just been on a long trip to Thailand teaching so many hours. 00:13:11.089 --> 00:13:16.451 And on Monday morning I'm off again to Korea to teach there. 00:13:16.451 --> 00:13:21.457 This should be a rest for me. So I am tired. 00:13:21.457 --> 00:13:26.313 But I could be exhaused but there is another thing which I know, 00:13:26.313 --> 00:13:29.619 what happens when you've been a meditator monk for so many years, 00:13:29.619 --> 00:13:34.426 how to deal with that tiredness, so it doesn't cause you depression, irritation, 00:13:34.426 --> 00:13:40.001 anger, all these other emotional and physical sicknesses. 00:13:40.001 --> 00:13:47.168 How do we deal with tiredness in this world? We have to do much more than maybe our ancestors did. 00:13:47.168 --> 00:13:56.652 So how do we deal with that tiredness? One - if you're tired you can't afford to worry about the future. 00:13:56.652 --> 00:14:04.384 You haven't got any spare energy to waste. So sometimes when I'm very busy I refuse 00:14:04.384 --> 00:14:11.586 to look at my calendar. If I looked at my calendar, "whoa" no one could ever do that. 00:14:11.586 --> 00:14:14.617 Some of the other monks look at it, "how do you do that Ajahn Brahm?" 00:14:14.617 --> 00:14:16.610 "Because I don't look at it." 00:14:16.610 --> 00:14:20.266 You do live in the present moment, because how much energy do you waste 00:14:20.266 --> 00:14:26.074 worrying that you will not be able to cope? 00:14:26.074 --> 00:14:31.484 I never do that because I know just how that is going to be awful. 00:14:31.484 --> 00:14:37.954 I told one of the monks today, because I was just really exhausted, I remember a time when I 00:14:37.954 --> 00:14:43.311 was a young monk in Thailand, wondering around from monastery to monastery, having a great sense of freedom 00:14:43.311 --> 00:14:51.101 but on this occasion I'd been travelling all day from just after lunch, our lunch is about 9:00 00:14:51.101 --> 00:14:59.106 and that's it for the day, and then travelling all day in hot weather, I was in a Thai bus, not like the 00:14:59.106 --> 00:15:06.010 Thai buses these days, Thai buses these days are fantastic - people say what are you talking about. 00:15:06.010 --> 00:15:16.232 I've been there, it's not fantastic, this was 40 years ago, and this really hot and cramped small seat for two, 00:15:16.232 --> 00:15:22.400 and there's usually three in there plus a chicken or pig or something else, I don't know what else, 00:15:22.400 --> 00:15:27.890 cramped up for hours after hours after hours, and finally got to this monastery where I was 00:15:27.890 --> 00:15:35.817 supposed to be going to, I rememer the time, 5:45 in the evening and checked-in, there was two monks there, 00:15:35.817 --> 00:15:42.236 "Welcome, you can stay here but you've got 15 minutes to take a quick bath because at 6:00 00:15:42.236 --> 00:15:48.964 we all have to meditate for 4 hours, no moving." 00:15:48.964 --> 00:15:55.695 "What?! I've been on the road all day, I'm tired, I'm not going to be able to handle that!" 00:15:55.695 --> 00:16:04.656 But...the wisdom of my practice kicked in, I think I've said this a couple of weeks ago, 00:16:04.656 --> 00:16:10.269 the story of moving the wheelbarrows of earth, if you haven't heard that story it's in 00:16:10.269 --> 00:16:14.594 Opening the Door of Your Heart, one of the first books which I wrote, 00:16:14.594 --> 00:16:18.889 It's a story of how as a young monk I have to move earth from 00:16:18.889 --> 00:16:22.681 9 o'clock in the morning to 9 o'clock in the evening for 3 days because my teacher wanted 00:16:22.681 --> 00:16:29.675 it to be moved. It's really hard work, really heavy labour, but you don't mind. 00:16:29.675 --> 00:16:37.149 I was fit and healthy, I'm fit and healthy now. It finished, and that night Ajahn Chah went 00:16:37.149 --> 00:16:43.025 to another monastery and the second monk, he's the head monk now, said, 00:16:43.025 --> 00:16:49.051 "You put it in the wrong place, move it." Another 3 days of hard work. 00:16:49.051 --> 00:16:54.852 I can handle that..but you get very dirty, and just sweaty, and mosquitos, 00:16:54.852 --> 00:16:59.317 you got both hands on the wheelbarrow, you can't keep the 00:16:59.317 --> 00:17:01.893 misquitos off you, you're sweating, and oh the 00:17:01.893 --> 00:17:04.704 mosquitos they really have a great lunch 00:17:04.704 --> 00:17:07.552 when you're working like that, so after 00:17:07.552 --> 00:17:10.829 6 days, finished at last. 00:17:10.829 --> 00:17:13.689 That night my master Ajahn Chah 00:17:13.689 --> 00:17:16.511 came back and the following morning said, 00:17:16.511 --> 00:17:19.803 "Why have you moved the earth over there? 00:17:19.803 --> 00:17:22.720 I thought I told you to move it in that other spot. 00:17:22.720 --> 00:17:28.135 MOVE IT!" Another 3 days of hard physical labour. 00:17:28.135 --> 00:17:31.701 In the mosquito-ridden sweaty jungles. 00:17:31.701 --> 00:17:33.989 Those people who worked for the Japanese in 00:17:33.989 --> 00:17:37.149 the Second World War, I know what they felt like. 00:17:37.149 --> 00:17:39.937 Honesty. Really hard work, actually, they were, 00:17:39.937 --> 00:17:42.284 we were malnourished as well. 00:17:42.284 --> 00:17:44.467 You should see photos of me in those days, 00:17:44.467 --> 00:17:47.270 nothing like now, you wouldn't recognise me, honestly 00:17:47.270 --> 00:17:49.143 from what I look like today. 00:17:49.143 --> 00:17:52.848 Being a bit fat today is just balancing what I did 00:17:52.848 --> 00:17:56.511 when I was young, it's fair. [laughs] 00:17:56.511 --> 00:17:59.428 Anyway, really hard work, and when it came to 00:17:59.428 --> 00:18:02.291 the next day, 6 days already passed and 00:18:02.291 --> 00:18:05.126 3 more days of hard work were in front of me, 00:18:05.126 --> 00:18:10.186 I started complaining. I was exhausted, tired, had enough. 00:18:10.186 --> 00:18:13.721 I complained, I always say, it was great in those 00:18:13.721 --> 00:18:17.177 days because there were hardly any other Westerners there. 00:18:17.177 --> 00:18:19.787 Just working with the Thai monks and the 00:18:19.787 --> 00:18:23.854 Laotian monks, so you could swear in English. 00:18:23.854 --> 00:18:26.638 I thought no-one would understand you. 00:18:26.638 --> 00:18:30.473 But even though they never understood any English 00:18:30.473 --> 00:18:32.720 just they could pick up your body language, 00:18:32.720 --> 00:18:34.655 you were really suffering. 00:18:34.655 --> 00:18:36.438 And that was when one of the monks, 00:18:36.438 --> 00:18:39.312 I forget who it was, but whoever you are, 00:18:39.312 --> 00:18:41.895 thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, 00:18:41.895 --> 00:18:44.739 for what you taught me because he said to me, 00:18:44.739 --> 00:18:48.348 "pushing the wheelbarrow is easy, 00:18:48.348 --> 00:18:52.794 thinking about it is the hard part." 00:18:52.794 --> 00:18:55.321 He got me, he nailed me. 00:18:55.321 --> 00:18:57.977 I was thinking about it, that was the hard part of 00:18:57.977 --> 00:19:01.427 pushing a wheelbarrow for another three days. 00:19:01.427 --> 00:19:05.428 Doing it is easy, and so, thank you, thank you, thank you, 00:19:05.428 --> 00:19:09.242 I stopped thinking about it and it became fun again. 00:19:09.242 --> 00:19:11.711 We had races with the other monks, who'd get there first. 00:19:11.711 --> 00:19:15.625 You know, your turn to go on the shovel, 00:19:15.625 --> 00:19:18.342 putting earth into the wheelbarrow, 00:19:18.342 --> 00:19:21.467 oh sorry, did I throw it a bit hard? 00:19:21.467 --> 00:19:24.392 Oh sorry. On purpose of cause. 00:19:24.392 --> 00:19:27.202 Just having fun and games, messing around. 00:19:27.202 --> 00:19:33.652 But anyway, I am pretty playful. 00:19:33.652 --> 00:19:37.907 I went to a conference in Vietnam a couple of years ago, 00:19:37.907 --> 00:19:42.022 and if you go to conferences, big organised conferences, 00:19:42.022 --> 00:19:45.261 the organisers want you to see some of the sights. 00:19:45.261 --> 00:19:48.266 I don't like being a tourist but you had no choice. 00:19:48.266 --> 00:19:52.602 So I was in the middle of Vietnam somewhere, 00:19:52.602 --> 00:19:56.615 to these lakes and underground tunnels and stuff, 00:19:56.615 --> 00:19:58.415 where you go through in a barge, 00:19:58.415 --> 00:20:02.885 fascinating beautiful place but on the way back... 00:20:02.885 --> 00:20:10.151 Actually, weird, I was representing Singapore, 00:20:10.151 --> 00:20:13.569 not Australia, so I was in the Singapore boat 00:20:13.569 --> 00:20:15.726 and there was another Singapore boat, 00:20:15.726 --> 00:20:17.903 we had the Theravada monks in our boat, 00:20:17.903 --> 00:20:20.740 and the Mahayana monks in the other boat, 00:20:20.740 --> 00:20:22.427 so I looked at them and said 00:20:22.427 --> 00:20:25.710 "Right, a race, who's better, the Mahayana or the 00:20:25.710 --> 00:20:28.501 Theravada? [laughter]. Those are the two parts 00:20:28.501 --> 00:20:30.139 of Buddhist so we had a race between 00:20:30.139 --> 00:20:32.678 Mahayana and Theravada. I was in the Theravada 00:20:32.678 --> 00:20:35.657 boat paddling for all I could and the Mahayana 00:20:35.657 --> 00:20:38.265 monks were paddling really hard as well just to 00:20:38.265 --> 00:20:40.207 see who would win, and of course it's obvious, 00:20:40.207 --> 00:20:43.532 the Theravada would win, it's obvious, 00:20:43.532 --> 00:20:45.316 if you know anything about Buddhism, 00:20:45.316 --> 00:20:47.823 because the Mahayana, they are Boddhisatvas, 00:20:47.823 --> 00:20:49.627 they even let other people get to Enlightenment 00:20:49.627 --> 00:20:51.907 before they do, so they made us get to the 00:20:51.907 --> 00:20:56.196 finishing line before they did, that's their tradition [laughter]. 00:20:56.196 --> 00:20:59.978 Just playing around. Monks have a lot of fun. 00:20:59.978 --> 00:21:03.858 We do really stupid things sometimes but it's good fun. 00:21:03.858 --> 00:21:08.031 Religion can be far too serious and I just really 00:21:08.031 --> 00:21:10.387 rebel against serious religion. 00:21:10.387 --> 00:21:13.443 But anyway, this was where I learnt 00:21:13.443 --> 00:21:17.866 how to have fun, because I was exhausted 00:21:17.866 --> 00:21:19.710 moving those wheelbarrows but 00:21:19.710 --> 00:21:23.527 instead of thinking about it I just did it. 00:21:23.527 --> 00:21:26.171 And all the tiredness vanished. 00:21:26.171 --> 00:21:28.113 It's like this evening, 00:21:28.113 --> 00:21:31.039 all the tiredness vanishes when you stop thinking about it. 00:21:31.039 --> 00:21:33.416 Thinking about the future, worrying about it, 00:21:33.416 --> 00:21:38.709 because most of your energy gets wasted in thinking. 00:21:38.709 --> 00:21:41.492 If you are tired, if you've had a really busy day, 00:21:41.492 --> 00:21:45.854 for goodness sake, you can't afford to think! 00:21:45.854 --> 00:21:49.325 And complain...and worry... and get afraid.. 00:21:49.325 --> 00:21:51.286 and plan this..and plan that... 00:21:51.286 --> 00:21:55.015 Your brain is exhausted, give it a break! 00:21:55.015 --> 00:21:57.516 But what do people do when they're tired, 00:21:57.516 --> 00:22:00.852 they get grumpy, they don't know how just to be. 00:22:00.852 --> 00:22:03.150 They always tend to think too much 00:22:03.150 --> 00:22:08.129 and that is the most important reason why people are tired. 00:22:08.129 --> 00:22:12.645 Thinking way too much rather than just doing it. 00:22:12.645 --> 00:22:15.425 I don't know what you're going to do this weekend 00:22:15.425 --> 00:22:18.254 so don't just think about it, just do it. 00:22:18.254 --> 00:22:19.801 Tell that to your husband who has to clean out 00:22:19.801 --> 00:22:21.637 the garaga - "I'm busy" 00:22:21.637 --> 00:22:26.824 Say, "don't think about it husband, just do it" [laughter] 00:22:26.824 --> 00:22:29.664 You've got to go and have a biopsy. 00:22:29.664 --> 00:22:32.792 Don't just think about it because you get 00:22:32.792 --> 00:22:36.861 really exhausted thinking "oh.....is it cancer? I'm going to die.." 00:22:36.861 --> 00:22:38.690 Don't just think about it, just do it. 00:22:38.690 --> 00:22:43.483 Even dying itself, dying is okay, just don't think about it, 00:22:43.483 --> 00:22:48.944 just do it. [laughter] 00:22:48.944 --> 00:22:51.600 The thinking about it is the problem 00:22:51.600 --> 00:22:56.183 but don't actually do it on purpose, just when it happens. 00:22:56.183 --> 00:23:00.284 That's one of the reasons why I learnt that much 00:23:00.284 --> 00:23:04.371 of tiredness is the physically exhaustion which 00:23:04.371 --> 00:23:06.776 you can't do too much about, actually you can do 00:23:06.776 --> 00:23:09.321 something about it, but the major part of tiredness 00:23:09.321 --> 00:23:12.458 is the mental, emotional, tiredness. 00:23:12.458 --> 00:23:17.774 Emotional tiredness is because you're trying way too hard. 00:23:17.774 --> 00:23:19.250 I don't know why you're trying. 00:23:19.250 --> 00:23:23.683 Sometimes people try because, "oh I have to." No you don't. 00:23:23.683 --> 00:23:27.108 "But, but, my boss expects me to do some work." 00:23:27.108 --> 00:23:29.102 As long as he thinks you're doing some work 00:23:29.102 --> 00:23:32.468 that's good enough for the boss [laughter]. 00:23:32.468 --> 00:23:35.542 How many of you read, I love reading cartoons, 00:23:35.542 --> 00:23:39.838 the Dilbert cartoon. I remember that Wally, 00:23:39.838 --> 00:23:44.016 in the Dilbert cartoons Wally is this guy in the office, 00:23:44.016 --> 00:23:47.034 you only ever see him carrying a cup of coffee from the left to 00:23:47.034 --> 00:23:49.920 the right, the right to the left, he never does any work, 00:23:49.920 --> 00:23:52.388 he just carries the coffee backwards and forwards, 00:23:52.388 --> 00:23:54.622 and it appears like he's doing some work, 00:23:54.622 --> 00:23:56.834 that's why he keeps his job. 00:23:56.834 --> 00:24:01.811 Maybe that's why I keep my job, appearance. [laugher] 00:24:01.811 --> 00:24:04.777 No anyway, so there's another lovely cartoon 00:24:04.777 --> 00:24:08.055 which I saw the other day, rambling again, 00:24:08.055 --> 00:24:11.309 somebody sent it to me and it's a wonderful one 00:24:11.309 --> 00:24:15.743 to talk about - why people worry about death. 00:24:15.743 --> 00:24:17.657 Just don't worry, it hasn't happened yet, 00:24:17.657 --> 00:24:21.141 don't think about it, don't worry about the future. 00:24:21.141 --> 00:24:25.184 And this cartoon was of Peanuts, you know 00:24:25.184 --> 00:24:29.203 Snoopy and Charlie Brown, those wonderful characters. 00:24:29.203 --> 00:24:32.375 And honestly, read those comics, because you get far more 00:24:32.375 --> 00:24:34.709 sense out of those comics than you ever do 00:24:34.709 --> 00:24:39.110 out of editorials or other news articles. 00:24:39.110 --> 00:24:42.178 They're far more insightful. 00:24:42.178 --> 00:24:46.605 And this Peanuts, this Charlie Brown and his dog Snoopy, 00:24:46.605 --> 00:24:48.679 must have been on vacation somewhere, 00:24:48.679 --> 00:24:52.281 they were on a pier and they were sitting there 00:24:52.281 --> 00:24:55.598 enjoying the afternoon, this beautiful view, 00:24:55.598 --> 00:24:59.109 just mountains and lakes and waters, 00:24:59.109 --> 00:25:01.424 having a beautiful afternoon there, 00:25:01.424 --> 00:25:04.955 and Charlie Brown says to his dog Snoopy, 00:25:04.955 --> 00:25:13.300 "You know Snoopy, all of us one day will die." 00:25:13.300 --> 00:25:15.878 And Snoopy, this great philosopher, 00:25:15.878 --> 00:25:20.436 he really is wise dog, much wiser than human beings, 00:25:20.436 --> 00:25:24.786 Snoopy says, "True, one day all of us will die, 00:25:24.786 --> 00:25:31.930 but most days all of us won't die." [laughter] 00:25:31.930 --> 00:25:35.000 What a wise thing to say. Yeah, one day you'll die but most days 00:25:35.000 --> 00:25:38.336 all of us won't. [laughter] 00:25:38.336 --> 00:25:41.404 So why are you getting so negative? 00:25:41.404 --> 00:25:45.049 So don't think about it, because thinking about 00:25:45.049 --> 00:25:49.215 those things, that more than anything else, is what tires us. 00:25:49.215 --> 00:25:54.453 So you get your kids trying to get good scores in TER, don't think about it! 00:25:54.453 --> 00:25:58.153 Doesn't matter that much, if you can do well in that fine... 00:25:58.153 --> 00:26:01.538 If it's natural, if you're naturally gifted then 00:26:01.538 --> 00:26:04.768 fine but don't push yourself too hard for goodness sake. 00:26:04.768 --> 00:26:08.436 Some parents get really upset at me for that but I want those kids to have 00:26:08.436 --> 00:26:11.439 emotional intelligence, to feel loved and 00:26:11.439 --> 00:26:16.681 respected even if they don't do well in those examinations. 00:26:16.681 --> 00:26:21.542 As I keep saying, half of your children, all the people here today, half of 00:26:21.542 --> 00:26:26.933 your children will be below average intelligence. 00:26:26.933 --> 00:26:29.605 Come on, it's logical, it has to be that way, 00:26:29.605 --> 00:26:32.489 half of your children will be below 00:26:32.489 --> 00:26:38.690 average intelligence, it has to be, that's what average means! 00:26:38.690 --> 00:26:42.786 If you're all Einsteins, half of the Einsteins 00:26:42.786 --> 00:26:47.099 have to be below average. [laughter] 00:26:47.099 --> 00:26:53.129 But what do you think - "oh not not my kids, their kids, okay, but not mine!" 00:26:53.129 --> 00:26:56.857 So look, give your kids a break, 00:26:56.857 --> 00:27:01.881 let them be, because if you take the pressure 00:27:01.881 --> 00:27:05.272 off your kids at at early age, 00:27:05.272 --> 00:27:09.094 they won't get so tired and they will develop 00:27:09.094 --> 00:27:12.298 the emotional intelligence which I saw 00:27:12.298 --> 00:27:15.692 in those Down's Syndrome people. 00:27:15.692 --> 00:27:19.578 Beautiful people. They couldn't do sums, 00:27:19.578 --> 00:27:25.280 they couldn't be electricians, they could be a monk. 00:27:25.280 --> 00:27:28.345 They felt, they were sensitive, and they had 00:27:28.345 --> 00:27:31.351 these beautiful relationships with each other. 00:27:31.351 --> 00:27:33.630 Brothers and sisters, institutionalised, 00:27:33.630 --> 00:27:37.622 but really really kind. I saw that. 00:27:37.622 --> 00:27:40.183 Now what type of person do you want to be? 00:27:40.183 --> 00:27:44.128 Your kids to be? They weren't tired, they had fun. 00:27:44.128 --> 00:27:49.249 And when we accept ourselves for what we are, 00:27:49.249 --> 00:27:52.301 instead of..going back to your kids, 00:27:52.301 --> 00:27:55.296 don't push them, let them just develop, 00:27:55.296 --> 00:27:59.404 nurture them, encourage them, inspire them, 00:27:59.404 --> 00:28:01.846 but who knows what they will be in this life? 00:28:01.846 --> 00:28:04.024 They're not all going to go to University 00:28:04.024 --> 00:28:05.952 and it's terrible that everyone has to go to 00:28:05.952 --> 00:28:08.055 University - there's so much more to the world 00:28:08.055 --> 00:28:11.634 and life! So many people in this world, 00:28:11.634 --> 00:28:15.381 University kills them. 00:28:15.381 --> 00:28:19.232 There was a graffiti which I remember outside 00:28:19.232 --> 00:28:21.413 the philosophy department, 00:28:21.413 --> 00:28:27.218 no, this was actually outside the physics lab in Cambridge. 00:28:27.218 --> 00:28:30.093 Graffiti in those days, you'd actually go looking 00:28:30.093 --> 00:28:33.541 for it because it was really profound. 00:28:33.541 --> 00:28:39.105 And that was - "exams - kill by degrees". 00:28:39.105 --> 00:28:42.587 It's a wondeful pun - they kill by degrees. 00:28:42.587 --> 00:28:47.121 They kill learning, they kill the excitement 00:28:47.121 --> 00:28:49.816 of investigating knowledge, we have to be 00:28:49.816 --> 00:28:53.470 tested and graded - who gets the best. 00:28:53.470 --> 00:28:57.578 It actually kills emotional intelligence, 00:28:57.578 --> 00:29:00.733 academic insitutitions, mostly, maybe they've 00:29:00.733 --> 00:29:03.206 changed somewhere, most of them them they 00:29:03.206 --> 00:29:09.885 kill that ability to explore and also to cooperate 00:29:09.885 --> 00:29:12.893 with each other, because scores are all personal, 00:29:12.893 --> 00:29:16.149 you have to compete against your best friends. 00:29:16.149 --> 00:29:20.325 And of course that causes a lot of tiredness. 00:29:20.325 --> 00:29:24.263 A lot of "you have to live up to something you can't be." 00:29:24.263 --> 00:29:31.146 That is a stress of life. Me, I don't have any stress giving public talks. 00:29:31.146 --> 00:29:35.192 Years and years and years ago I worked it out, so simple! 00:29:35.192 --> 00:29:39.835 That if I give a public talk and you guys like it, wonderful! I get so much joy 00:29:39.835 --> 00:29:44.791 seeing you happy and see I can actually help you and change your lives. 00:29:44.791 --> 00:29:49.284 I'm really happy if my talks are really well received. 00:29:49.284 --> 00:29:52.987 But I'm even more happy if you don't like them! 00:29:52.987 --> 00:29:57.013 Because then you can live me alone and I can spend more time in my cave 00:29:57.013 --> 00:30:00.195 and just enjoy my time, retire, because you don't like my talks, 00:30:00.195 --> 00:30:03.732 you've heard all the old jokes before, all the stories before, 00:30:03.732 --> 00:30:07.848 so none of you actually come here, brilliant! 00:30:07.848 --> 00:30:13.108 That actually is my trick, is my stratgy. It did not work! 00:30:13.108 --> 00:30:18.251 I decided to write all my stories in books, so you don't have to come back anymore. 00:30:18.251 --> 00:30:22.684 I have to keep telling them until you get so bored that you won't come back. 00:30:22.684 --> 00:30:25.212 But it doesn't work... You keep coming back for more. 00:30:25.212 --> 00:30:29.108 You must be all masochists [chuckles]. 00:30:29.108 --> 00:30:34.942 But no.. the point was, I don't care! Either way life is good! 00:30:34.942 --> 00:30:37.777 You succeed, you don't succeed. 00:30:37.777 --> 00:30:45.341 But the trouble is the pressure is on you in this world - you only have one idea of success. 00:30:45.341 --> 00:30:49.854 Or limited ideas of what being a successful person is. 00:30:49.854 --> 00:30:56.357 I want to try and make more ideas of success, broaden it. 00:30:56.357 --> 00:31:03.185 Even if you're living out in the streets, you're living out in the street happily. 00:31:03.185 --> 00:31:05.368 Is that success? 00:31:05.368 --> 00:31:08.539 Sometimes people think, "oh that poor person" 00:31:08.539 --> 00:31:13.494 You ask the person and they say, "No, I'm free, I don't have to worry about.." 00:31:13.494 --> 00:31:16.875 It's a bit cold maybe.. Have you lived out in the street? 00:31:16.875 --> 00:31:20.548 I remember just in the hippie years, camping out under bridges. 00:31:20.548 --> 00:31:25.464 I remember as a monk, one of the most wondeful times I had as a monk 00:31:25.464 --> 00:31:29.569 was when we had to leave the monastery in in Thailand after 5 years, 00:31:29.569 --> 00:31:34.049 you had your basic training, out, out, out, go! 00:31:34.049 --> 00:31:40.960 And we had to just walk and eveything I owned I carried with me. 00:31:40.960 --> 00:31:45.682 It wasn't that much, you could walk, it was light. All my possessions 00:31:45.682 --> 00:31:51.144 were on my back and it never ached. And it was a beautiful feeling of freedom, 00:31:51.144 --> 00:31:56.023 like being a bird, and you could be a bird as a human being, 00:31:56.023 --> 00:32:02.125 and every crossroad I came to you could go any directions you wanted, 00:32:02.125 --> 00:32:07.365 you had no pressure on you to get anywhere, to achieve anything, 00:32:07.365 --> 00:32:15.291 you had no deadlines, no appointments, you just "that's a nice direction, I'll go there." 00:32:15.291 --> 00:32:20.720 You had this wonderful ability to sleep anywhere, in a rice field, in a paddock. 00:32:20.720 --> 00:32:28.019 The best place, my teacher said to sleep as a monk at that time was in the 00:32:28.019 --> 00:32:32.990 cremation grounds. The reason was that Thai people were so scared 00:32:32.990 --> 00:32:39.050 of ghosts you'd be guaranteed a peaceful evening if you went there. 00:32:39.050 --> 00:32:41.759 But if you go anywhere else they'd always come asking you 00:32:41.759 --> 00:32:45.532 questions or whatever, so the cremation grounds were the favourite 00:32:45.532 --> 00:32:48.645 places to go sleep at night. 00:32:48.645 --> 00:32:57.438 Everyone else was sleeping there as well - all the corpses [chuckles] 00:32:57.438 --> 00:32:59.598 It's a very nice place to have a sleep. 00:32:59.598 --> 00:33:05.279 But anyway, there was a beautiful feeling, you had no pressure on you. 00:33:05.279 --> 00:33:08.110 So much freedom wherever you wanted to go. 00:33:08.110 --> 00:33:13.898 And in the morning you'd go to any village and get enough to eat on the alms round. 00:33:13.898 --> 00:33:20.347 You didn't need any money, just your alms bowl. 00:33:20.347 --> 00:33:28.008 The beautiful feeling of freedom, and even though you walked a long distance 00:33:28.008 --> 00:33:34.720 and it was hot, you never felt tired emotionally because you hardly 00:33:34.720 --> 00:33:39.413 thought because there was nothing to think about. 00:33:39.413 --> 00:33:42.988 What do you think about? Your worries. 00:33:42.988 --> 00:33:45.733 Where you have to be, how you're going to get there. 00:33:45.733 --> 00:33:52.366 We waste so much time and energy worrying about the future which is 00:33:52.366 --> 00:33:58.609 why if you are to overcome tiredness and it's a big problem for you, 00:33:58.609 --> 00:34:04.020 one of the things is please learn how to keep your mind efficient. 00:34:04.020 --> 00:34:08.804 Doing life is easy, thinking about it is the hard part. 00:34:08.804 --> 00:34:15.608 Living with a partner is easy, if you think about it, it drives you crazy. 00:34:15.608 --> 00:34:19.236 Honestly, just in Thailand they were saying, 00:34:19.236 --> 00:34:24.314 "Oh, my husband keeps yapping at me, he's really nasty to me." 00:34:24.314 --> 00:34:29.832 I say again, if your husband comes home and he's always nasty to you, 00:34:29.832 --> 00:34:37.204 says all these bad things remember why you were born with two ears, 00:34:37.204 --> 00:34:43.390 one to go in, one to go out, don't keep anything! 00:34:43.390 --> 00:34:46.892 Because when you keep it, that's called thinking about it, 00:34:46.892 --> 00:34:50.082 you let it go immediately. 00:34:50.082 --> 00:34:59.855 The ability to let go of stuff which is not necessary, that's the secret of overcoming tiredness. 00:34:59.855 --> 00:35:02.955 Let go of thinking, just do it. 00:35:02.955 --> 00:35:09.920 Let go of the future, you're exhausted worrying about what's going to happen next. 00:35:09.920 --> 00:35:16.831 And let go of the past - I don't know if I told this a couple of weeks ago but 00:35:16.831 --> 00:35:24.387 a very wonderful compliment which I got, 2-3 weeks ago I did my annual 00:35:24.387 --> 00:35:30.969 visit to the Cancer Wellness Association, they started off in this old house in Cottesloe, 00:35:30.969 --> 00:35:36.174 and the government, good on the Western Australian government, they actually put a 00:35:36.174 --> 00:35:42.036 lot of money into building a huge campus, everything to do with cancer, 00:35:42.036 --> 00:35:47.264 so there you will find the Melanoma Society, the Prostate Cancer Society, 00:35:47.264 --> 00:35:51.471 the Breast Cancer Society, and the general wellness association, 00:35:51.471 --> 00:35:58.195 just all in one area, which is brilliant. And I go there every year. 00:35:58.195 --> 00:36:03.231 And when I went there, I was reminded, my 26th year going there, 00:36:03.231 --> 00:36:08.494 it's a long time, 26 years, and they said the reason we always invite you back, 00:36:08.494 --> 00:36:11.400 usually the first talk of the season, the first talk of the year, 00:36:11.400 --> 00:36:17.945 to get it started in a good way, they said 26 years ago there was a girl there, 00:36:17.945 --> 00:36:24.922 a woman, she had cancer, she got into remission but she always worried 00:36:24.922 --> 00:36:32.582 what would happen if it came back, and no counselor could help her, 00:36:32.582 --> 00:36:36.992 and then this monk comes along, and tells the story of the other 00:36:36.992 --> 00:36:42.161 great philosopher, I told already about Snoopy, the American philospher, 00:36:42.161 --> 00:36:46.480 the greatest philosopher of the last century. But there was even an earlier English philosopher 00:36:46.480 --> 00:36:54.271 I really really respect, if you like philosophy check out one of the best philosophers 00:36:54.271 --> 00:37:00.310 who's ever been written about called Winnie the Pooh [laughter] 00:37:00.310 --> 00:37:04.337 Now the other philosophers who teach in universities there's just full of too many words, 00:37:04.337 --> 00:37:08.061 they never get to the heart of it! And there's Winnie the Pooh, 00:37:08.061 --> 00:37:12.684 one of my favourite stories, it would've been in Opening the Door of Your Heart, 00:37:12.684 --> 00:37:19.412 I actually wrote to Disney who has the copyright for Winnie the Pooh now 00:37:19.412 --> 00:37:22.936 and they said "absolutely no!" Because Disney is so commercial 00:37:22.936 --> 00:37:26.880 they won't allow anybody, even though it's a tiny tiny little bit from that book 00:37:26.880 --> 00:37:33.980 Winnie the Pooh, but anyway the story was which I told 26 years ago 00:37:33.980 --> 00:37:37.965 at the Cancer Wellness Association, the story was about Winnie the Pooh and 00:37:37.965 --> 00:37:43.636 little Piglet walking through the forest when there was a storm and twigs were 00:37:43.636 --> 00:37:48.450 coming down, branches were coming down, and then trees started getting uprooted. 00:37:48.450 --> 00:37:54.966 Storms are dangerous. You shouldn't be out in a storm in a forest and so Piglet 00:37:54.966 --> 00:38:01.473 was really afraid and his fear got so huge he turned to Winnie the Pooh and said 00:38:01.473 --> 00:38:05.867 "I can't go any longer! I can't walk any longer! I'm so afraid." 00:38:05.867 --> 00:38:07.859 "Why?" said Winnie the Pooh. 00:38:07.859 --> 00:38:15.118 "I'm so afraid that a tree might fall when we are underneath it!" 00:38:15.118 --> 00:38:22.224 Which was a possibility... And Winnie the Pooh shot back, 00:38:22.224 --> 00:38:26.649 which showed what a great philosopher he was, if he didn't have so much hair he 00:38:26.649 --> 00:38:31.642 could've been a Buddhist monk [laughter] 00:38:31.642 --> 00:38:42.652 He shot back with, "what would happen if a tree fell when we were not underneath it?" 00:38:42.652 --> 00:38:47.151 And that was the end of the fear. Because all fear is looking into the future 00:38:47.151 --> 00:38:51.798 with a negative mind, thinking of all the things which will go wrong 00:38:51.798 --> 00:38:57.630 with a fault-finding mind, that's called fear. The opposite is hope, looking at the 00:38:57.630 --> 00:39:01.719 future with a positive mind, what might go right, 00:39:01.719 --> 00:39:08.315 and you would have noticed in your life, if you fear something, it's more likely 00:39:08.315 --> 00:39:16.505 to happen, with hope, what you hope for is more likely to happen. 00:39:16.505 --> 00:39:24.207 So when I told that story to this girl 26 years ago, I answered her question. 00:39:24.207 --> 00:39:26.667 What would happen if the cancer came back? 00:39:26.667 --> 00:39:30.920 The answer was - what would happen if it didn't come back? 00:39:30.920 --> 00:39:35.950 It never came back, and that's why they keep inviting me there. 00:39:35.950 --> 00:39:40.555 I come back but the cancer doesn't [laughter] 00:39:40.555 --> 00:39:43.577 Now you can understand, analyse that a little deeper, 00:39:43.577 --> 00:39:48.351 it's obvious, when you look at it a bit deeper, if you're worried about a cancer, 00:39:48.351 --> 00:39:50.663 "what would happen if it came back?? will it come back?" 00:39:50.663 --> 00:39:54.530 you're getting tense, you're getting worried, the sort of things, the sort of stress which 00:39:54.530 --> 00:40:01.418 causes cancer, you are just putting into place. But if you think, what happens if it doesn't, 00:40:01.418 --> 00:40:05.557 you don't worry about it, which means you're more relaxed, more healthy, and 00:40:05.557 --> 00:40:08.380 the chances are the cancer is not going to come back. 00:40:08.380 --> 00:40:16.923 You increase the chances of success, good health, happiness, 00:40:16.923 --> 00:40:25.515 and also you don't get so tired, worrying about what will happen. 00:40:25.515 --> 00:40:33.189 Deeper, this is meditation teachings but it's brilliant teachings - 00:40:33.189 --> 00:40:38.659 "two parts to the human mind", this is why people get tired. 00:40:38.705 --> 00:40:43.106 I call it the doing and the knowing. If you've been to any of my meditation 00:40:43.106 --> 00:40:49.553 teachings you will know this, it's a very powerful way of looking at the human mind. 00:40:49.553 --> 00:40:52.894 The doing mind is what reacts, it's reacting to what I'm saying, 00:40:52.894 --> 00:40:55.965 thinking about it, saying, "oh that's good" or "that's rubbish", 00:40:55.965 --> 00:41:00.801 that reaction is called doing. Planning, remembering, 00:41:00.801 --> 00:41:05.230 figuring out things, initiating action, deciding to walk, 00:41:05.230 --> 00:41:09.562 figuring out what you're going to do when you leave here, what you're going to do 00:41:09.562 --> 00:41:14.937 on the weekend, all that is part of the doing mind. 00:41:14.937 --> 00:41:18.790 The other part of the mind is just what knows. 00:41:18.790 --> 00:41:22.690 The passive consciousness, just being aware, 00:41:22.690 --> 00:41:28.844 feeling the itch on your arm, feeling the coolness of this room, 00:41:28.844 --> 00:41:35.338 hearing the sound of the traffic in the distance. 00:41:35.338 --> 00:41:39.545 Just knowing. Now, once you know the difference 00:41:39.545 --> 00:41:45.459 between those two parts of the human mind it won't take you long to notice 00:41:45.459 --> 00:41:50.332 that most of your mental energy, over 90% of it, 00:41:50.332 --> 00:41:57.070 goes into doing stuff, reacting. Which means you've hardly got anything 00:41:57.070 --> 00:42:02.489 left just to know, to be aware, to feel. Which is why so many people, 00:42:02.489 --> 00:42:07.831 they can't even see the stars at night, even when they're up, 00:42:07.831 --> 00:42:13.260 they're just doing too much. They can't feel the wind, 00:42:13.260 --> 00:42:18.030 they don't know when it rains, they're too busy doing something else, 00:42:18.030 --> 00:42:24.044 they're not alive, and they're also very very tired, 00:42:24.044 --> 00:42:32.991 doing far too much, being far too little. 00:42:32.991 --> 00:42:42.587 What happens, if instead of actually thinking you just "are", just feeling, 00:42:42.587 --> 00:42:46.265 feeling the wind, feeling the cold, feeling the heat, walking back to the 00:42:46.265 --> 00:42:54.786 car with your shoes off, feeling the stone or the grass under your feet. 00:42:54.786 --> 00:42:58.650 You feel alive, but not just feeling alive, 00:42:58.650 --> 00:43:04.402 you are feeding energy into knowing, taking it away from doing so much. 00:43:04.402 --> 00:43:07.181 When you put energy back into passive awareness - 00:43:07.181 --> 00:43:16.556 knowing, mindfulness - tiredness starts to go. You wake up because the 00:43:16.556 --> 00:43:22.030 mental tiredness is the knower with very low energy. 00:43:22.030 --> 00:43:26.299 Put energy into the awareness and you'll feel awake. 00:43:26.299 --> 00:43:31.494 A good example of that is having a cup of coffee. 00:43:31.494 --> 00:43:34.197 Before you have a cup of coffee you're miserable. 00:43:34.197 --> 00:43:37.332 Have a cup of coffee, you can feel more, you're awake, you're alive, 00:43:37.332 --> 00:43:41.741 you can see things, you can hear things, you can think. 00:43:41.741 --> 00:43:48.594 That's unnatural energy, it's still energy, but imagine that energy was natural. 00:43:48.594 --> 00:43:52.973 So you wake up alive. When the mind is energised, 00:43:52.973 --> 00:43:58.690 it energises the body, that's why what I was doing 10 minutes after 00:43:58.690 --> 00:44:03.356 I was teaching you in the meditation session, that's why usually I give guided 00:44:03.356 --> 00:44:09.040 meditation almost all the way through, but I was so exhausted, so tired, 00:44:09.040 --> 00:44:12.481 if you want to know why I'll tell you what I've been doing the last two weeks 00:44:12.481 --> 00:44:17.869 and today, if you want to know why it was there, the reason, I should be exhausted, 00:44:17.869 --> 00:44:24.718 I taught you for 20 minutes, and then right, no more doing anything, 00:44:24.718 --> 00:44:32.665 kept my mind really still, getting energy pouring back into awareness, 00:44:32.665 --> 00:44:41.459 you wake up alive. Wow, that's incredible, 00:44:41.459 --> 00:44:47.929 feeling the wind.. Can you hear that? Feel it? Wow.. 00:44:47.929 --> 00:44:52.726 Most people wouldn't be able to hear that, but you did. 00:44:52.726 --> 00:45:01.075 Energy starts to come back, tiredness vanishes. 00:45:01.075 --> 00:45:09.318 Heard a story at a global conference, a psychologist, he's a good psychologist, 00:45:09.318 --> 00:45:15.071 but a bit crazy, why you have to pay people to tell you this is absolutely ridiculous. 00:45:15.071 --> 00:45:20.409 His therapy, his method of therapy, which is very very popular, 00:45:20.409 --> 00:45:29.718 you go to his place and pay a lot of money and he tells you to go have a walk in nature. 00:45:29.718 --> 00:45:34.632 And it works! People's problems disappear, he makes a lot of money, 00:45:34.632 --> 00:45:39.474 their problems disappear, that's it. Smart guy. 00:45:39.474 --> 00:45:44.167 But why is it - walking in nature, or being by the ocean by yourself, 00:45:44.167 --> 00:45:49.418 not swimming or surfing, just sitting there. When you go to a forest and just do nothing, 00:45:49.418 --> 00:45:55.554 why is that therapeutic? Simply because energy is going back 00:45:55.554 --> 00:46:01.057 into mindfulness, into knowing, you're not doing so much, 00:46:01.057 --> 00:46:06.746 which means that your tiredness is going, it's vanishing, and when that 00:46:06.746 --> 00:46:12.963 tiredness vanishes, your health, mental, emotional, physical, 00:46:12.963 --> 00:46:20.339 increases enormously. You're healing just because in nature you 00:46:20.339 --> 00:46:24.215 can't do very much. Check it out this weekend. 00:46:24.215 --> 00:46:32.505 You've got a choice - go shopping or go into the forest. 00:46:32.505 --> 00:46:41.496 And check what you feel like afterwards. One is so much doing you come back tired. 00:46:41.496 --> 00:46:45.709 You go to a forest, or by a beach, a quiet place by yourself, 00:46:45.709 --> 00:46:49.305 go into King's Park or whatever, walk around the river quietly, 00:46:49.305 --> 00:46:55.883 not really doing much, and you find your tiredness vanishes. Please for goodness sake, 00:46:55.883 --> 00:47:01.064 give yourself a break. Too many people getting cancers, 00:47:01.064 --> 00:47:08.457 too many partners breaking up. Too many kids just not being able to 00:47:08.457 --> 00:47:12.632 connect with their parents, because their parents can't connect with them, 00:47:12.632 --> 00:47:19.117 because they're too tired. Not being able to listen because they're 00:47:19.117 --> 00:47:25.818 too dull. For goodness sake understand tiredness is one of the biggest scourges 00:47:25.818 --> 00:47:33.280 of our modern age, and there's many many ways, especially what you're heard tonight, 00:47:33.280 --> 00:47:41.640 can overcome that tiredness and I've proved it just by giving a talk, for 50 minutes, 00:47:41.640 --> 00:47:48.115 even though by all reasonable people it should have been impossible. 00:47:48.115 --> 00:48:02.643 Thank you for listening. Sadhu!! Sadhu!! Sadhu!! 00:48:02.643 --> 00:48:08.242 Okay, that's energy! 00:48:08.242 --> 00:48:13.358 Very good. What have we got here? From Ireland, France and London! 00:48:13.358 --> 00:48:17.526 Wow, Europe. How do we deal with the tiredness with 00:48:17.526 --> 00:48:21.519 people telling us we're wrong, or that stuff we believe in is wrong? 00:48:21.519 --> 00:48:29.685 Just tell them - yeah you're right, I am wrong. When I went to Malaysia 00:48:29.685 --> 00:48:39.591 a lot, this is one of the problems. In Malaysia there are also many Christians, 00:48:39.591 --> 00:48:44.243 and these are the evangelical ones, the ones that want to convert everybody.. 00:48:44.243 --> 00:48:48.706 And so there was a problem in Malaysia, also in Singapore, 00:48:48.706 --> 00:48:54.901 there's an old Buddhist man, been Buddhist all his life, but his grandkid or his son had become 00:48:54.901 --> 00:48:58.705 an evangelical. Everyone else was Buddhist. Or even Hindu, or whatever. 00:48:58.705 --> 00:49:04.612 And the son would think, "My father will go to hell if he doesn't convert.." 00:49:04.612 --> 00:49:11.314 So he'd go with his friends, and his pastor, by the bedside of this really sick and dying 00:49:11.314 --> 00:49:19.032 person, and keep harassing them until they converted, and it was such a painful experience 00:49:19.032 --> 00:49:23.883 that even I think the Singapore government made rules against that. 00:49:23.883 --> 00:49:29.709 But someone asked me - what was your advice? If that's my son, my grandson, 00:49:29.709 --> 00:49:35.171 I'm dying, he comes with his pastor, his friends and they start talking about 00:49:35.171 --> 00:49:39.596 the Bible, Hallelujah, and I'm going to go to hell if I don't convert, 00:49:39.596 --> 00:49:43.627 and Jesus is the only way, what do I do? 00:49:43.627 --> 00:49:50.642 Don't try to convince them they're wrong. You can't. Convert! 00:49:50.642 --> 00:49:54.265 Tell them, "oh yeah that makes a lot of sense, grandson, okay I will take 00:49:54.265 --> 00:49:57.661 Jesus as my saviour." And they go Hallelujah, Hallelujah, 00:49:57.661 --> 00:50:00.712 and then they leave you alone. And as soon as they've walked out 00:50:00.712 --> 00:50:05.906 of the door, you can convert back again. [laughter] Become a Buddhist. 00:50:05.906 --> 00:50:10.387 That's my practical advice. So if someone says, "you're wrong, 00:50:10.387 --> 00:50:12.730 you're wrong, you're wrong." "Yeah, you're right, I agree with you," 00:50:12.730 --> 00:50:17.869 "I'm wrong, okay". Then they leave you alone. And as soon as they leave you alone, 00:50:17.869 --> 00:50:22.893 "no that's rubbish, I was right all along" [laughter] 00:50:22.893 --> 00:50:32.406 Otherwise it's impossible. I say this even with partners, whoever you're living with, 00:50:32.406 --> 00:50:36.483 you should know by now. [Phone rings] There we go, music to 00:50:36.483 --> 00:50:43.640 give an answer to a talk, that's fine, that happens, anyway it's not your fault, 00:50:43.640 --> 00:50:47.012 it's your mobile phone's fault, so don't get angry at you, 00:50:47.012 --> 00:50:53.246 spank your mobile phone, or whatever, put your mobile phone in detention. 00:50:53.246 --> 00:50:59.549 What was I talking about? Oh yeah, about being wrong. 00:50:59.549 --> 00:51:04.705 There is no way in the world you will ever be able to convince your partner 00:51:04.705 --> 00:51:09.228 that he's wrong, no way. And you should have found that out 00:51:09.228 --> 00:51:13.295 by now, how long have you been living with that guy? 00:51:13.295 --> 00:51:23.056 You can't do it. Even if you were, say, the Prime Minister of Germany, 00:51:23.056 --> 00:51:27.086 what's her name again? Angela Merkel! 00:51:27.086 --> 00:51:30.635 Incredibly smart woman, very powerful, I'm not sure if she's married, 00:51:30.635 --> 00:51:34.450 but I bet she always loses arguments with her husband, there's no way she can 00:51:34.450 --> 00:51:41.338 convince her husband he's wrong. And Obama cannot convince Michelle, 00:51:41.338 --> 00:51:45.611 his wife, she's wrong, it's impossible. Doesn't matter how powerful, intelligent, 00:51:45.611 --> 00:51:52.121 you are, it cannot be done. So don't try it. Many husbands say 00:51:52.121 --> 00:51:59.964 "Yes dear, yes dear, I agree with you dear," and they go off and do whatever they want. [laughter] 00:51:59.964 --> 00:52:06.298 It's true, so get used to that, wives. So anyway, we developed, 00:52:06.298 --> 00:52:09.535 if you haven't heard this yet, I always tell this story when I do weddings, 00:52:09.535 --> 00:52:14.702 another wedding tomorrow afternoon. There's no way you can convince someone 00:52:14.702 --> 00:52:22.753 they're wrong, so how can you actually make a decision and actually get on 00:52:22.753 --> 00:52:29.477 in life but not always having to submit. That really sucks doesn't it? 00:52:29.477 --> 00:52:33.022 He's always right, why do I always have to agree with him? 00:52:33.022 --> 00:52:39.911 Why does she always have to be right? So the calendar method, the solution, 00:52:39.911 --> 00:52:45.334 which allows people to live harmoniously with their partners, the calendar method 00:52:45.334 --> 00:52:51.015 is that when you have an argument, don't argue who's right and wrong! 00:52:51.015 --> 00:52:57.776 Let the calendar decide! On the odd days of the month she is right. [laughter] 00:52:57.776 --> 00:53:04.065 The girl is always right on the odd days of the month. On the even days he is right. 00:53:04.065 --> 00:53:11.722 So that's fair. Today is the 19th, so today all the girls are right! Yay! 00:53:11.722 --> 00:53:19.092 Be careful, tomorrow he is right. [laughter] That way you don't have to argue anymore. 00:53:19.092 --> 00:53:25.983 The calendar decides who's right without any arguments and you can make a decision. 00:53:25.983 --> 00:53:33.051 It's never that bad if the other person makes a decision, not you, at least it's fair. 00:53:33.051 --> 00:53:36.965 And people have already figured out, you girls have already figured out, 00:53:36.965 --> 00:53:42.190 you get more days right a year than he does. Only about four or five, 00:53:42.190 --> 00:53:47.225 but guys, give it to them, it's worth it. The trouble is, people say, 00:53:47.225 --> 00:53:55.933 what happens if you're in a gay relationship? [laughter] Then you've got me stumped, 00:53:55.933 --> 00:54:06.669 it doesn't work. Both of you are right on one day, the next day both of you are wrong. [laughter] 00:54:06.669 --> 00:54:11.376 Anyway, when people tell you you're wrong I just forget about it, just let them tell you, 00:54:11.376 --> 00:54:14.432 just do it, don't think about it, and afterwards you realise 00:54:14.432 --> 00:54:17.701 they can tell you whatever they want, it's just rubbish. 00:54:17.701 --> 00:54:20.519 [Next Question] Do you think there's a link between tiredness, and the oxygen 00:54:20.519 --> 00:54:23.202 we breathe, pollution or how you breathe? 00:54:23.202 --> 00:54:25.555 There is a little bit of a connection there because oxygen gives you 00:54:25.555 --> 00:54:31.351 physical energy and if it's not much oxygen, or it's polluted, or something like that, 00:54:31.351 --> 00:54:36.867 of course that will impact the amount of oxygen you can breathe in but usually 00:54:36.867 --> 00:54:42.914 the lungs compensate so if there's not much oxygen coming in you breathe in more. 00:54:42.914 --> 00:54:46.484 That's what happened to me when I went to Bhutan. 00:54:46.484 --> 00:54:52.169 It was very clear air but there's hardly any oxygen when you go up to Tiger's Nest, 00:54:52.169 --> 00:54:56.002 because it's very very high up. At the bottom of that hill 00:54:56.002 --> 00:55:00.637 someone had an energy bar, a little energy bar like you can buy here, 00:55:00.637 --> 00:55:05.711 a Mars bar or something, but when they got to the top it ballooned out. 00:55:05.711 --> 00:55:10.188 They showed it to me, it was like a balloon, because the air temperature at the top 00:55:10.188 --> 00:55:14.930 and bottom was so different that the pressure inside at the bottom was just 00:55:14.930 --> 00:55:19.378 ordinary pressure but by the time we got up to the top it was a balloon. 00:55:19.378 --> 00:55:24.008 So that's how high it was, and there was hardly any oxygen there, but what happens 00:55:24.008 --> 00:55:30.624 is that the lungs breathe in more. So yeah, there's a little bit between 00:55:30.624 --> 00:55:33.117 the tiredness and the oxygen but not that much because the body usually 00:55:33.117 --> 00:55:36.478 knows how to compensate. It doesn't know how to compensate 00:55:36.478 --> 00:55:39.293 when you think too much.. 00:55:39.293 --> 00:55:43.608 Dear Ajahn (from London), what can a person do when they have lost everything in their life 00:55:43.608 --> 00:55:47.767 and have torturous anxiety about the future. 00:55:47.767 --> 00:55:51.557 Remember me, I have lost everything 00:55:51.557 --> 00:55:57.273 in my life. I've lost my degree, it doesn't count for anything anymore. 00:55:57.273 --> 00:56:01.908 I've lost all my money, haven't got a cent. I had some money when I was young. 00:56:01.908 --> 00:56:12.158 What else did I lose? I lost girlfriends, money, possessions, everything. 00:56:12.158 --> 00:56:17.995 I lost all my past, all my memories. I lost all my fears. 00:56:17.995 --> 00:56:21.792 I've lost my security. I don't have superannuation. I'm not allowed 00:56:21.792 --> 00:56:25.815 according to how monks agree, to take a pension. 00:56:25.815 --> 00:56:30.528 I haven't got anything. What would happen if you didn't 00:56:30.528 --> 00:56:40.199 feed me tomorrow or the day after? Ah! Now losing everything is not 00:56:40.199 --> 00:56:47.205 the problem, sometimes it gives you a lot of freedom, you can live simply, 00:56:47.205 --> 00:56:53.394 learn to live simply. The torturous anxiety, now that, 00:56:53.394 --> 00:56:56.232 you've lost possessions, but now you're allowing your peace 00:56:56.232 --> 00:57:02.752 to be lost as well. Recently we had a break-in at Bodhinyana monastery. 00:57:02.752 --> 00:57:07.395 They pinched some chainsaws. Straightaway, I said they can pinch the 00:57:07.395 --> 00:57:10.375 chainsaws, they can steal that, but they're not going to steal our 00:57:10.375 --> 00:57:16.325 peace and compassion. We're not going to worry about that. In fact it turned out 00:57:16.325 --> 00:57:20.064 to be really good because those chainsaws were quite old and the 00:57:20.064 --> 00:57:24.027 insurance allowed us to get much better ones. [laughter] 00:57:24.027 --> 00:57:28.543 So if ever that thief is around, come up here and we'll say thankyou. 00:57:28.543 --> 00:57:32.038 I shouldn't say that but it actually worked out good in the end. 00:57:32.038 --> 00:57:34.469 They can come into your house and they can steal your possessions 00:57:34.469 --> 00:57:38.172 but why allow them to steal your happiness as well? 00:57:38.172 --> 00:57:41.398 You don't need to do that. So you may have lost all your physical 00:57:41.398 --> 00:57:46.080 possessions, maybe lost your wife, or your kids, or something, 00:57:46.080 --> 00:57:56.954 but you don't need to lose your happiness. That is losing your hope. 00:57:56.954 --> 00:58:01.995 So what you can do is restore hope. See other people, sometimes when we 00:58:01.995 --> 00:58:06.976 have these little groups, people in the same situation, 00:58:06.976 --> 00:58:12.421 what's that called again? Therapy groups, peer support groups, 00:58:12.421 --> 00:58:15.344 sometimes when we hear what other people have gone through, which is similar 00:58:15.344 --> 00:58:23.516 to what we've gone through, it gives us hope instead of fear and anxiety. 00:58:23.516 --> 00:58:28.141 That's such an important thing to create in your life - hope. 00:58:28.141 --> 00:58:34.910 So even if you haven't been able to find a partner in life, don't give up, 00:58:34.910 --> 00:58:42.078 keep on going. If you fear you won't, then you will not. You can always have hope, 00:58:42.078 --> 00:58:49.184 "yes it's possible", then you're opening the doors to success. So always look into 00:58:49.184 --> 00:58:56.229 the future with a positive mind and then your last experience will never take 00:58:56.229 --> 00:59:02.617 away your hope and where there's hope there is success. 00:59:02.617 --> 00:59:07.767 So thank you to those people. It's 9 o'clock now. So is there any questions from the floor? 00:59:07.767 --> 00:59:11.742 Good, great, bye bye. [laughter] 00:59:11.742 --> 00:59:14.026 Okay, we're going to bow down to the Buddha, Dhamma, Sangha. 00:59:14.026 --> 00:59:19.098 I'm sorry if I can't say hello to you, because I have to rush off and go 00:59:19.098 --> 00:59:24.477 and teach down in Jhana Grove for a nice retreat.