1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,868 Stretch and cough as loud as you like now. 2 00:00:03,868 --> 00:00:05,742 You're not going to disturb anybody. 3 00:00:05,742 --> 00:00:10,921 Scratch knees, move your legs, move your bum. 4 00:00:10,921 --> 00:00:17,747 Get yourselves comfortable for the next part of this evening's festivities. 5 00:00:20,837 --> 00:00:26,856 The Dhamma talk. 6 00:00:49,608 --> 00:00:56,979 Excellent. So for this evening's Dhamma talk I had all sorts of ideas what I was 7 00:00:56,979 --> 00:01:00,239 going to speak about, actually not many of them, 8 00:01:00,239 --> 00:01:02,996 but it's quite obvious what I should speak about tonight, 9 00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:07,326 because it's a problem which is common to so many 10 00:01:07,326 --> 00:01:17,652 people and I've just been feeling it and overcoming it though this meditation: tiredness. 11 00:01:17,652 --> 00:01:22,526 Now, 3, 4, 5 years ago, I cannot remember when, 12 00:01:22,526 --> 00:01:27,481 that's the trouble with living in the present moment, as a monk we don't get 13 00:01:27,481 --> 00:01:32,733 dementia, we just get living-in-the-present-momentness 14 00:01:32,733 --> 00:01:37,609 [laughts] so we don't really think too much about past and future. 15 00:01:37,609 --> 00:01:40,804 So other people say - when did that happen? "In the past somewhere" 16 00:01:40,804 --> 00:01:44,139 we don't exactly remember when, and it's not as if you don't want 17 00:01:44,139 --> 00:01:49,500 to remember, it's just the efficiency of the brain and living in this moment 18 00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:52,806 rather than always living in that past. 19 00:01:52,806 --> 00:01:58,977 But a few years ago when I was teaching overseas as I often do, 20 00:01:58,977 --> 00:02:05,772 I was invited to spend the day at a youth seminar in Kuala Lumpur, 21 00:02:05,772 --> 00:02:12,491 it's a very interesting occassion, about 400-500 young people 15-25, 22 00:02:12,491 --> 00:02:16,548 doing all sorts of interesting stuff, one of the things they were doing 23 00:02:16,548 --> 00:02:24,078 is that they asked all the people there, what is your most difficult emotion 24 00:02:24,078 --> 00:02:32,322 as 15-25 year old, mostly Chinese Buddhists over in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. 25 00:02:32,322 --> 00:02:35,818 What do you find most difficult of all in life? 26 00:02:35,818 --> 00:02:42,784 And the answer which came up was tiredness. I never expected that before, 27 00:02:42,784 --> 00:02:47,682 but once they said that it was quite obvious why people are tired even 28 00:02:47,682 --> 00:02:55,316 when they are in the late teen years, 15 to 25. You can remember your time as a 29 00:02:55,316 --> 00:03:00,178 young man, a young woman, the pressure is really on you. 30 00:03:00,178 --> 00:03:04,911 You have to do well at school, your parents and teachers and 31 00:03:04,911 --> 00:03:09,220 friends say it's really important, so you have to do really well at homework 32 00:03:09,220 --> 00:03:11,286 and get good grades. 33 00:03:11,286 --> 00:03:16,646 That's one of the problems with young people, parents tell me off for this, 34 00:03:16,646 --> 00:03:19,305 but I'm supporting young people, it doesn't matter so much what 35 00:03:19,305 --> 00:03:22,334 grades you get at school. 36 00:03:22,334 --> 00:03:26,384 People have found, Daniel Goldman, emotional intelligence, found out 37 00:03:26,384 --> 00:03:30,547 that the grades you get at school and University, all those certificates, 38 00:03:30,547 --> 00:03:35,569 they don't really count for much when it comes to success in life. 39 00:03:35,569 --> 00:03:39,425 Success is not guaranteed by doing well at school. Something else is. 40 00:03:39,425 --> 00:03:44,554 That's why I was telling people just yesterday, in Singapore, came though there 41 00:03:44,554 --> 00:03:48,668 on the way back from Thailand, 42 00:03:48,668 --> 00:03:57,895 that if ever your kids get an "F" at school, did they ever work out what "F" means? 43 00:03:57,895 --> 00:04:04,376 I was a schoolteacher. "F" means Fantastic. [laughter] 44 00:04:04,376 --> 00:04:07,857 If they get an "E" that means Excellent. 45 00:04:07,857 --> 00:04:11,305 But if they get an "A" that means Arrogant. [laughter] 46 00:04:11,305 --> 00:04:15,044 All these people getting so proud of getting As and straight As, they really are 47 00:04:15,044 --> 00:04:19,980 a pain in the butt, aren't they. So full on themselves, "I got straight As..." 48 00:04:19,980 --> 00:04:26,594 So I prefer the Fs, the Fantastics. The Excellents. 49 00:04:26,594 --> 00:04:35,410 Because it's not so much the pressure on succeeding in that 50 00:04:35,410 --> 00:04:40,973 competition to get good grades, or to get a place in a good university, 51 00:04:40,973 --> 00:04:45,356 look at me, I got a place at one of the best universities, and what happened 52 00:04:45,356 --> 00:04:50,065 to me, didn't do me any good going to Cambridge, I might as well have 53 00:04:50,065 --> 00:04:54,227 gone to any old college, even no college at all. 54 00:04:54,227 --> 00:04:58,641 Actually, if I hadn't gone to Cambridge, I'd probably have become a monk even earlier. 55 00:04:58,641 --> 00:05:01,503 That would've been good, but anyway, this is just what happens 56 00:05:01,503 --> 00:05:03,701 in life, but you learn something there. 57 00:05:03,701 --> 00:05:12,669 On that subject, I like rambling, one of the important events in my life 58 00:05:12,669 --> 00:05:17,484 as a student which turned me more towards being a monk rather than being an academic. 59 00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:21,898 At the time I didn't realise its importance but when you look 60 00:05:21,898 --> 00:05:28,858 back and you find these are the crucial experiences which direct you in life, 61 00:05:28,858 --> 00:05:35,297 and that was when, I was a Buddhist at university, I had a few other Buddhists, 62 00:05:35,297 --> 00:05:40,773 but one of my best friends was a Christian, a very strong pracitising Christian, 63 00:05:40,773 --> 00:05:46,544 he became a hippy later in life, but anyway he was a really strong Christian. 64 00:05:46,544 --> 00:05:53,029 And he told me one day that together with a couple of his friends in Bible Study class 65 00:05:53,029 --> 00:06:00,282 they'd started to volunteer once a week to go to the local hospital for those who had 66 00:06:00,282 --> 00:06:04,913 mental disabilities and volunteer. 67 00:06:04,913 --> 00:06:09,523 And when he told me that I didn't want to go, but I felt 68 00:06:09,523 --> 00:06:15,142 if I didn't go I was letting down the team, Buddhism. So the only reason I 69 00:06:15,142 --> 00:06:21,637 volunteered to go was just ego, just pride, "if the Christians can do it, 70 00:06:21,637 --> 00:06:26,359 the Buddhists can do it as well!" That's what it was. 71 00:06:26,359 --> 00:06:31,024 I'm being quite honest - I just went there because he was going there, so I had to go there. 72 00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:34,339 But a strange thing happened! Like many things in life, 73 00:06:34,339 --> 00:06:39,229 you go and do something for one reason, you find other reasons start to become 74 00:06:39,229 --> 00:06:44,306 predominant and it really changes your life. Because those Christians, they went for 75 00:06:44,306 --> 00:06:49,292 two or three weeks and then dropped out. I went there for two years. 76 00:06:49,292 --> 00:06:55,324 Every afternoon when I was up in Cambridge and I would re-arrange 77 00:06:55,324 --> 00:07:02,300 tutorials and everything so I could go there. I loved it and I wondered why, 78 00:07:02,300 --> 00:07:10,692 why did I enjoy going there? I was helping out in the occupational therapy unit 79 00:07:10,692 --> 00:07:16,450 for those people with Down's Syndrome. It was incredible to see the emotional intelligence 80 00:07:16,450 --> 00:07:20,488 those kids had, not kids, young men, young women. 81 00:07:20,488 --> 00:07:25,628 Even though I never knew the words "emotional intelligence" 82 00:07:25,628 --> 00:07:30,328 this was in 1969-1971 or something, still, they were just so sensitive 83 00:07:30,328 --> 00:07:36,832 to a world I hadn't really been trained in. And I always remember, on a couple of occasions, 84 00:07:36,832 --> 00:07:43,988 I was a young man, you'd split up with your girlfriend, you'd go there and they'd pick it up straight away! 85 00:07:43,988 --> 00:07:49,075 I wouldn't need to tell them, they'd come running out and give me a hug. "Why are you doing that?" 86 00:07:49,075 --> 00:07:53,646 "There is something wrong isn't there?" "How the heck do you know that?" 87 00:07:53,646 --> 00:07:57,922 And they were just so sensitive to my feelings, they got to know me and love me. 88 00:07:57,922 --> 00:08:05,718 And they had this incredible emotional sensitivity. And when I was sitting next to Nobel laureates, 89 00:08:05,718 --> 00:08:14,036 which I did in a place like that, they were socially so insensitive, they hadn't got an emotional neuron 90 00:08:14,036 --> 00:08:18,582 in their brains. Well they did, I'm exaggerating there. 91 00:08:18,582 --> 00:08:21,582 But when it came to the professors of life, 92 00:08:21,582 --> 00:08:29,351 I preferred to spend the afternoon with people with Down's Syndrome. I learnt much more from them. 93 00:08:29,351 --> 00:08:35,890 And I grew much more from them. I had to empathise with people. When you're with professors, or lecturers 94 00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:44,439 or even your friends, they were all talking, ah...the word is... "gomayan" [?] 95 00:08:44,439 --> 00:08:48,039 it takes me a long while to say, it's the Pali word for bullshit. 96 00:08:48,039 --> 00:08:54,905 You know all in their head, no idea of their feelings. The boys and the girls couldn't 97 00:08:54,905 --> 00:09:02,330 understand how to get on with each other, just all fantasies and dreams and ideas and 98 00:09:02,330 --> 00:09:11,864 philosophies. You go with these people with Down's Syndrome, and they felt, they knew the emotions. 99 00:09:11,864 --> 00:09:18,585 They couldn't do well at school, they were terrible at things like maths, but when it came to being able 100 00:09:18,585 --> 00:09:25,617 to feel what you're feeling and actually be kind to you, they were geniuses. And it came to the point I'd 101 00:09:25,617 --> 00:09:33,913 rather spend the afternoon with those people than with professors. I didn't know why at the time but 102 00:09:33,913 --> 00:09:40,225 it would actually encourage me in another area of life, this great emotional intelligence. 103 00:09:40,225 --> 00:09:45,592 It's because we're not sensitive to that inner world of emotions, we keep thinking too much, 104 00:09:45,592 --> 00:09:51,225 doing too much, it's one of the reasons why we're tired. But anyway, these young kids I saw, 105 00:09:51,225 --> 00:09:56,948 that was their biggest problem in life. And once they told me that, told everybody, 106 00:09:56,948 --> 00:10:04,516 they opened up huge areas of improving our lives both physically and emotionally, 107 00:10:04,516 --> 00:10:07,707 and with relations as well. 108 00:10:07,707 --> 00:10:14,239 How many of you when you come home from work are grumpy? 109 00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:21,104 Even angry? So many people keep asking me: "My husband is in such a bad mood 110 00:10:21,104 --> 00:10:26,232 every time, he's always shouting at the kids, he's a terrible pain in the neck to live with. 111 00:10:26,232 --> 00:10:30,983 Why? Can you get him some anger management counselling or something?" 112 00:10:30,983 --> 00:10:35,151 I basically say, well teach him how to sleep at night. 113 00:10:35,151 --> 00:10:41,390 Teach him how to have a good rest. See if he can overcome that tiredness 114 00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:45,847 which is so deeply embedded in our humanity today. 115 00:10:45,847 --> 00:10:52,512 I'm only saying this because this is how I understand things, there is no research 116 00:10:52,512 --> 00:10:57,383 to back me up here, but I'm sure that if people did that research they'd probably 117 00:10:57,383 --> 00:11:05,116 discover what I know, and that is that it's tiredness that creates so many divorces, 118 00:11:05,116 --> 00:11:09,963 so many relationships would break up because of tiredness. 119 00:11:09,963 --> 00:11:14,649 And sicknesses such as cancers, heart disease, because of tiredness. 120 00:11:14,649 --> 00:11:19,479 And even other things, an obvious sickness which is very prevalent today 121 00:11:19,479 --> 00:11:27,779 is depression - a very deep tiredness. It's such an obvious thing that there's 122 00:11:27,779 --> 00:11:33,566 a big problem in this world. Maybe you've had times of tiredness 123 00:11:33,566 --> 00:11:38,345 it's as if the world is too heavy to bear any longer. 124 00:11:38,345 --> 00:11:45,794 You really have to push so hard just to get by, the struggle takes so much energy, 125 00:11:45,794 --> 00:11:52,542 and at times you have no more energy to give, you go into this hole of depression, 126 00:11:52,542 --> 00:11:59,173 just absolutely low energy, nothing to give to anything, can't even get out of bed sometimes. 127 00:11:59,173 --> 00:12:03,916 Then you want to get out of bed, don't want to eat or do anything. 128 00:12:03,916 --> 00:12:09,108 Simply because you've got absolutely no energy at all, you are deeply tired. 129 00:12:09,108 --> 00:12:14,824 We now have chronic fatigue syndrome. I don't remember that when I was a kid. 130 00:12:14,824 --> 00:12:21,941 Why is that? Of course obviously, that is a problem, tiredness, and the reason is 131 00:12:21,941 --> 00:12:25,211 because we have so much to do in this world. 132 00:12:25,211 --> 00:12:29,414 The reason I'm rushing off after this talk is because there's a monk 133 00:12:29,414 --> 00:12:35,263 Bhante Gunaratana, a very famous monk, a really nice monk, he's been here before, 134 00:12:35,263 --> 00:12:40,940 he's 88, and he was supposed to come and teach a meditation retreat at Jhana Grove this weekend. 135 00:12:40,940 --> 00:12:45,400 When we heard he was here we moved Heaven and Earth to try to get him to come here 136 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:51,619 to get the retreat free for that weekend and advertise it, buy him the airline tickets. 137 00:12:51,619 --> 00:12:56,555 But then he got too sick. So his doctor said no, you can't come. 138 00:12:56,555 --> 00:13:02,096 So where does the buck stop? At the top - so I've got to teach 139 00:13:02,096 --> 00:13:07,658 the retreat in his place. I should be relaxing this weekend, 140 00:13:07,658 --> 00:13:11,089 I've just been on a long trip to Thailand teaching so many hours. 141 00:13:11,089 --> 00:13:16,451 And on Monday morning I'm off again to Korea to teach there. 142 00:13:16,451 --> 00:13:21,457 This should be a rest for me. So I am tired. 143 00:13:21,457 --> 00:13:26,313 But I could be exhaused but there is another thing which I know, 144 00:13:26,313 --> 00:13:29,619 what happens when you've been a meditator monk for so many years, 145 00:13:29,619 --> 00:13:34,426 how to deal with that tiredness, so it doesn't cause you depression, irritation, 146 00:13:34,426 --> 00:13:40,001 anger, all these other emotional and physical sicknesses. 147 00:13:40,001 --> 00:13:47,168 How do we deal with tiredness in this world? We have to do much more than maybe our ancestors did. 148 00:13:47,168 --> 00:13:56,652 So how do we deal with that tiredness? One - if you're tired you can't afford to worry about the future. 149 00:13:56,652 --> 00:14:04,384 You haven't got any spare energy to waste. So sometimes when I'm very busy I refuse 150 00:14:04,384 --> 00:14:11,586 to look at my calendar. If I looked at my calendar, "whoa" no one could ever do that. 151 00:14:11,586 --> 00:14:14,617 Some of the other monks look at it, "how do you do that Ajahn Brahm?" 152 00:14:14,617 --> 00:14:16,610 "Because I don't look at it." 153 00:14:16,610 --> 00:14:20,266 You do live in the present moment, because how much energy do you waste 154 00:14:20,266 --> 00:14:26,074 worrying that you will not be able to cope? 155 00:14:26,074 --> 00:14:31,484 I never do that because I know just how that is going to be awful. 156 00:14:31,484 --> 00:14:37,954 I told one of the monks today, because I was just really exhausted, I remember a time when I 157 00:14:37,954 --> 00:14:43,311 was a young monk in Thailand, wondering around from monastery to monastery, having a great sense of freedom 158 00:14:43,311 --> 00:14:51,101 but on this occasion I'd been travelling all day from just after lunch, our lunch is about 9:00 159 00:14:51,101 --> 00:14:59,106 and that's it for the day, and then travelling all day in hot weather, I was in a Thai bus, not like the 160 00:14:59,106 --> 00:15:06,010 Thai buses these days, Thai buses these days are fantastic - people say what are you talking about. 161 00:15:06,010 --> 00:15:16,232 I've been there, it's not fantastic, this was 40 years ago, and this really hot and cramped small seat for two, 162 00:15:16,232 --> 00:15:22,400 and there's usually three in there plus a chicken or pig or something else, I don't know what else, 163 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:27,890 cramped up for hours after hours after hours, and finally got to this monastery where I was 164 00:15:27,890 --> 00:15:35,817 supposed to be going to, I rememer the time, 5:45 in the evening and checked-in, there was two monks there, 165 00:15:35,817 --> 00:15:42,236 "Welcome, you can stay here but you've got 15 minutes to take a quick bath because at 6:00 166 00:15:42,236 --> 00:15:48,964 we all have to meditate for 4 hours, no moving." 167 00:15:48,964 --> 00:15:55,695 "What?! I've been on the road all day, I'm tired, I'm not going to be able to handle that!" 168 00:15:55,695 --> 00:16:04,656 But...the wisdom of my practice kicked in, I think I've said this a couple of weeks ago, 169 00:16:04,656 --> 00:16:10,269 the story of moving the wheelbarrows of earth, if you haven't heard that story it's in 170 00:16:10,269 --> 00:16:14,594 Opening the Door of Your Heart, one of the first books which I wrote, 171 00:16:14,594 --> 00:16:18,889 It's a story of how as a young monk I have to move earth from 172 00:16:18,889 --> 00:16:22,681 9 o'clock in the morning to 9 o'clock in the evening for 3 days because my teacher wanted 173 00:16:22,681 --> 00:16:29,675 it to be moved. It's really hard work, really heavy labour, but you don't mind. 174 00:16:29,675 --> 00:16:37,149 I was fit and healthy, I'm fit and healthy now. It finished, and that night Ajahn Chah went 175 00:16:37,149 --> 00:16:43,025 to another monastery and the second monk, he's the head monk now, said, 176 00:16:43,025 --> 00:16:49,051 "You put it in the wrong place, move it." Another 3 days of hard work. 177 00:16:49,051 --> 00:16:54,852 I can handle that..but you get very dirty, and just sweaty, and mosquitos, 178 00:16:54,852 --> 00:16:59,317 you got both hands on the wheelbarrow, you can't keep the 179 00:16:59,317 --> 00:17:01,893 misquitos off you, you're sweating, and oh the 180 00:17:01,893 --> 00:17:04,704 mosquitos they really have a great lunch 181 00:17:04,704 --> 00:17:07,552 when you're working like that, so after 182 00:17:07,552 --> 00:17:10,829 6 days, finished at last. 183 00:17:10,829 --> 00:17:13,689 That night my master Ajahn Chah 184 00:17:13,689 --> 00:17:16,511 came back and the following morning said, 185 00:17:16,511 --> 00:17:19,803 "Why have you moved the earth over there? 186 00:17:19,803 --> 00:17:22,720 I thought I told you to move it in that other spot. 187 00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:28,135 MOVE IT!" Another 3 days of hard physical labour. 188 00:17:28,135 --> 00:17:31,701 In the mosquito-ridden sweaty jungles. 189 00:17:31,701 --> 00:17:33,989 Those people who worked for the Japanese in 190 00:17:33,989 --> 00:17:37,149 the Second World War, I know what they felt like. 191 00:17:37,149 --> 00:17:39,937 Honesty. Really hard work, actually, they were, 192 00:17:39,937 --> 00:17:42,284 we were malnourished as well. 193 00:17:42,284 --> 00:17:44,467 You should see photos of me in those days, 194 00:17:44,467 --> 00:17:47,270 nothing like now, you wouldn't recognise me, honestly 195 00:17:47,270 --> 00:17:49,143 from what I look like today. 196 00:17:49,143 --> 00:17:52,848 Being a bit fat today is just balancing what I did 197 00:17:52,848 --> 00:17:56,511 when I was young, it's fair. [laughs] 198 00:17:56,511 --> 00:17:59,428 Anyway, really hard work, and when it came to 199 00:17:59,428 --> 00:18:02,291 the next day, 6 days already passed and 200 00:18:02,291 --> 00:18:05,126 3 more days of hard work were in front of me, 201 00:18:05,126 --> 00:18:10,186 I started complaining. I was exhausted, tired, had enough. 202 00:18:10,186 --> 00:18:13,721 I complained, I always say, it was great in those 203 00:18:13,721 --> 00:18:17,177 days because there were hardly any other Westerners there. 204 00:18:17,177 --> 00:18:19,787 Just working with the Thai monks and the 205 00:18:19,787 --> 00:18:23,854 Laotian monks, so you could swear in English. 206 00:18:23,854 --> 00:18:26,638 I thought no-one would understand you. 207 00:18:26,638 --> 00:18:30,473 But even though they never understood any English 208 00:18:30,473 --> 00:18:32,720 just they could pick up your body language, 209 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:34,655 you were really suffering. 210 00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:36,438 And that was when one of the monks, 211 00:18:36,438 --> 00:18:39,312 I forget who it was, but whoever you are, 212 00:18:39,312 --> 00:18:41,895 thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, 213 00:18:41,895 --> 00:18:44,739 for what you taught me because he said to me, 214 00:18:44,739 --> 00:18:48,348 "pushing the wheelbarrow is easy, 215 00:18:48,348 --> 00:18:52,794 thinking about it is the hard part." 216 00:18:52,794 --> 00:18:55,321 He got me, he nailed me. 217 00:18:55,321 --> 00:18:57,977 I was thinking about it, that was the hard part of 218 00:18:57,977 --> 00:19:01,427 pushing a wheelbarrow for another three days. 219 00:19:01,427 --> 00:19:05,428 Doing it is easy, and so, thank you, thank you, thank you, 220 00:19:05,428 --> 00:19:09,242 I stopped thinking about it and it became fun again. 221 00:19:09,242 --> 00:19:11,711 We had races with the other monks, who'd get there first. 222 00:19:11,711 --> 00:19:15,625 You know, your turn to go on the shovel, 223 00:19:15,625 --> 00:19:18,342 putting earth into the wheelbarrow, 224 00:19:18,342 --> 00:19:21,467 oh sorry, did I throw it a bit hard? 225 00:19:21,467 --> 00:19:24,392 Oh sorry. On purpose of cause. 226 00:19:24,392 --> 00:19:27,202 Just having fun and games, messing around. 227 00:19:27,202 --> 00:19:33,652 But anyway, I am pretty playful. 228 00:19:33,652 --> 00:19:37,907 I went to a conference in Vietnam a couple of years ago, 229 00:19:37,907 --> 00:19:42,022 and if you go to conferences, big organised conferences, 230 00:19:42,022 --> 00:19:45,261 the organisers want you to see some of the sights. 231 00:19:45,261 --> 00:19:48,266 I don't like being a tourist but you had no choice. 232 00:19:48,266 --> 00:19:52,602 So I was in the middle of Vietnam somewhere, 233 00:19:52,602 --> 00:19:56,615 to these lakes and underground tunnels and stuff, 234 00:19:56,615 --> 00:19:58,415 where you go through in a barge, 235 00:19:58,415 --> 00:20:02,885 fascinating beautiful place but on the way back... 236 00:20:02,885 --> 00:20:10,151 Actually, weird, I was representing Singapore, 237 00:20:10,151 --> 00:20:13,569 not Australia, so I was in the Singapore boat 238 00:20:13,569 --> 00:20:15,726 and there was another Singapore boat, 239 00:20:15,726 --> 00:20:17,903 we had the Theravada monks in our boat, 240 00:20:17,903 --> 00:20:20,740 and the Mahayana monks in the other boat, 241 00:20:20,740 --> 00:20:22,427 so I looked at them and said 242 00:20:22,427 --> 00:20:25,710 "Right, a race, who's better, the Mahayana or the 243 00:20:25,710 --> 00:20:28,501 Theravada? [laughter]. Those are the two parts 244 00:20:28,501 --> 00:20:30,139 of Buddhist so we had a race between 245 00:20:30,139 --> 00:20:32,678 Mahayana and Theravada. I was in the Theravada 246 00:20:32,678 --> 00:20:35,657 boat paddling for all I could and the Mahayana 247 00:20:35,657 --> 00:20:38,265 monks were paddling really hard as well just to 248 00:20:38,265 --> 00:20:40,207 see who would win, and of course it's obvious, 249 00:20:40,207 --> 00:20:43,532 the Theravada would win, it's obvious, 250 00:20:43,532 --> 00:20:45,316 if you know anything about Buddhism, 251 00:20:45,316 --> 00:20:47,823 because the Mahayana, they are Boddhisatvas, 252 00:20:47,823 --> 00:20:49,627 they even let other people get to Enlightenment 253 00:20:49,627 --> 00:20:51,907 before they do, so they made us get to the 254 00:20:51,907 --> 00:20:56,196 finishing line before they did, that's their tradition [laughter]. 255 00:20:56,196 --> 00:20:59,978 Just playing around. Monks have a lot of fun. 256 00:20:59,978 --> 00:21:03,858 We do really stupid things sometimes but it's good fun. 257 00:21:03,858 --> 00:21:08,031 Religion can be far too serious and I just really 258 00:21:08,031 --> 00:21:10,387 rebel against serious religion. 259 00:21:10,387 --> 00:21:13,443 But anyway, this was where I learnt 260 00:21:13,443 --> 00:21:17,866 how to have fun, because I was exhausted 261 00:21:17,866 --> 00:21:19,710 moving those wheelbarrows but 262 00:21:19,710 --> 00:21:23,527 instead of thinking about it I just did it. 263 00:21:23,527 --> 00:21:26,171 And all the tiredness vanished. 264 00:21:26,171 --> 00:21:28,113 It's like this evening, 265 00:21:28,113 --> 00:21:31,039 all the tiredness vanishes when you stop thinking about it. 266 00:21:31,039 --> 00:21:33,416 Thinking about the future, worrying about it, 267 00:21:33,416 --> 00:21:38,709 because most of your energy gets wasted in thinking. 268 00:21:38,709 --> 00:21:41,492 If you are tired, if you've had a really busy day, 269 00:21:41,492 --> 00:21:45,854 for goodness sake, you can't afford to think! 270 00:21:45,854 --> 00:21:49,325 And complain...and worry... and get afraid.. 271 00:21:49,325 --> 00:21:51,286 and plan this..and plan that... 272 00:21:51,286 --> 00:21:55,015 Your brain is exhausted, give it a break! 273 00:21:55,015 --> 00:21:57,516 But what do people do when they're tired, 274 00:21:57,516 --> 00:22:00,852 they get grumpy, they don't know how just to be. 275 00:22:00,852 --> 00:22:03,150 They always tend to think too much 276 00:22:03,150 --> 00:22:08,129 and that is the most important reason why people are tired. 277 00:22:08,129 --> 00:22:12,645 Thinking way too much rather than just doing it. 278 00:22:12,645 --> 00:22:15,425 I don't know what you're going to do this weekend 279 00:22:15,425 --> 00:22:18,254 so don't just think about it, just do it. 280 00:22:18,254 --> 00:22:19,801 Tell that to your husband who has to clean out 281 00:22:19,801 --> 00:22:21,637 the garaga - "I'm busy" 282 00:22:21,637 --> 00:22:26,824 Say, "don't think about it husband, just do it" [laughter] 283 00:22:26,824 --> 00:22:29,664 You've got to go and have a biopsy. 284 00:22:29,664 --> 00:22:32,792 Don't just think about it because you get 285 00:22:32,792 --> 00:22:36,861 really exhausted thinking "oh.....is it cancer? I'm going to die.." 286 00:22:36,861 --> 00:22:38,690 Don't just think about it, just do it. 287 00:22:38,690 --> 00:22:43,483 Even dying itself, dying is okay, just don't think about it, 288 00:22:43,483 --> 00:22:48,944 just do it. [laughter] 289 00:22:48,944 --> 00:22:51,600 The thinking about it is the problem 290 00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:56,183 but don't actually do it on purpose, just when it happens. 291 00:22:56,183 --> 00:23:00,284 That's one of the reasons why I learnt that much 292 00:23:00,284 --> 00:23:04,371 of tiredness is the physically exhaustion which 293 00:23:04,371 --> 00:23:06,776 you can't do too much about, actually you can do 294 00:23:06,776 --> 00:23:09,321 something about it, but the major part of tiredness 295 00:23:09,321 --> 00:23:12,458 is the mental, emotional, tiredness. 296 00:23:12,458 --> 00:23:17,774 Emotional tiredness is because you're trying way too hard. 297 00:23:17,774 --> 00:23:19,250 I don't know why you're trying. 298 00:23:19,250 --> 00:23:23,683 Sometimes people try because, "oh I have to." No you don't. 299 00:23:23,683 --> 00:23:27,108 "But, but, my boss expects me to do some work." 300 00:23:27,108 --> 00:23:29,102 As long as he thinks you're doing some work 301 00:23:29,102 --> 00:23:32,468 that's good enough for the boss [laughter]. 302 00:23:32,468 --> 00:23:35,542 How many of you read, I love reading cartoons, 303 00:23:35,542 --> 00:23:39,838 the Dilbert cartoon. I remember that Wally, 304 00:23:39,838 --> 00:23:44,016 in the Dilbert cartoons Wally is this guy in the office, 305 00:23:44,016 --> 00:23:47,034 you only ever see him carrying a cup of coffee from the left to 306 00:23:47,034 --> 00:23:49,920 the right, the right to the left, he never does any work, 307 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:52,388 he just carries the coffee backwards and forwards, 308 00:23:52,388 --> 00:23:54,622 and it appears like he's doing some work, 309 00:23:54,622 --> 00:23:56,834 that's why he keeps his job. 310 00:23:56,834 --> 00:24:01,811 Maybe that's why I keep my job, appearance. [laugher] 311 00:24:01,811 --> 00:24:04,777 No anyway, so there's another lovely cartoon 312 00:24:04,777 --> 00:24:08,055 which I saw the other day, rambling again, 313 00:24:08,055 --> 00:24:11,309 somebody sent it to me and it's a wonderful one 314 00:24:11,309 --> 00:24:15,743 to talk about - why people worry about death. 315 00:24:15,743 --> 00:24:17,657 Just don't worry, it hasn't happened yet, 316 00:24:17,657 --> 00:24:21,141 don't think about it, don't worry about the future. 317 00:24:21,141 --> 00:24:25,184 And this cartoon was of Peanuts, you know 318 00:24:25,184 --> 00:24:29,203 Snoopy and Charlie Brown, those wonderful characters. 319 00:24:29,203 --> 00:24:32,375 And honestly, read those comics, because you get far more 320 00:24:32,375 --> 00:24:34,709 sense out of those comics than you ever do 321 00:24:34,709 --> 00:24:39,110 out of editorials or other news articles. 322 00:24:39,110 --> 00:24:42,178 They're far more insightful. 323 00:24:42,178 --> 00:24:46,605 And this Peanuts, this Charlie Brown and his dog Snoopy, 324 00:24:46,605 --> 00:24:48,679 must have been on vacation somewhere, 325 00:24:48,679 --> 00:24:52,281 they were on a pier and they were sitting there 326 00:24:52,281 --> 00:24:55,598 enjoying the afternoon, this beautiful view, 327 00:24:55,598 --> 00:24:59,109 just mountains and lakes and waters, 328 00:24:59,109 --> 00:25:01,424 having a beautiful afternoon there, 329 00:25:01,424 --> 00:25:04,955 and Charlie Brown says to his dog Snoopy, 330 00:25:04,955 --> 00:25:13,300 "You know Snoopy, all of us one day will die." 331 00:25:13,300 --> 00:25:15,878 And Snoopy, this great philosopher, 332 00:25:15,878 --> 00:25:20,436 he really is wise dog, much wiser than human beings, 333 00:25:20,436 --> 00:25:24,786 Snoopy says, "True, one day all of us will die, 334 00:25:24,786 --> 00:25:31,930 but most days all of us won't die." [laughter] 335 00:25:31,930 --> 00:25:35,000 What a wise thing to say. Yeah, one day you'll die but most days 336 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:38,336 all of us won't. [laughter] 337 00:25:38,336 --> 00:25:41,404 So why are you getting so negative? 338 00:25:41,404 --> 00:25:45,049 So don't think about it, because thinking about 339 00:25:45,049 --> 00:25:49,215 those things, that more than anything else, is what tires us. 340 00:25:49,215 --> 00:25:54,453 So you get your kids trying to get good scores in TER, don't think about it! 341 00:25:54,453 --> 00:25:58,153 Doesn't matter that much, if you can do well in that fine... 342 00:25:58,153 --> 00:26:01,538 If it's natural, if you're naturally gifted then 343 00:26:01,538 --> 00:26:04,768 fine but don't push yourself too hard for goodness sake. 344 00:26:04,768 --> 00:26:08,436 Some parents get really upset at me for that but I want those kids to have 345 00:26:08,436 --> 00:26:11,439 emotional intelligence, to feel loved and 346 00:26:11,439 --> 00:26:16,681 respected even if they don't do well in those examinations. 347 00:26:16,681 --> 00:26:21,542 As I keep saying, half of your children, all the people here today, half of 348 00:26:21,542 --> 00:26:26,933 your children will be below average intelligence. 349 00:26:26,933 --> 00:26:29,605 Come on, it's logical, it has to be that way, 350 00:26:29,605 --> 00:26:32,489 half of your children will be below 351 00:26:32,489 --> 00:26:38,690 average intelligence, it has to be, that's what average means! 352 00:26:38,690 --> 00:26:42,786 If you're all Einsteins, half of the Einsteins 353 00:26:42,786 --> 00:26:47,099 have to be below average. [laughter] 354 00:26:47,099 --> 00:26:53,129 But what do you think - "oh not not my kids, their kids, okay, but not mine!" 355 00:26:53,129 --> 00:26:56,857 So look, give your kids a break, 356 00:26:56,857 --> 00:27:01,881 let them be, because if you take the pressure 357 00:27:01,881 --> 00:27:05,272 off your kids at at early age, 358 00:27:05,272 --> 00:27:09,094 they won't get so tired and they will develop 359 00:27:09,094 --> 00:27:12,298 the emotional intelligence which I saw 360 00:27:12,298 --> 00:27:15,692 in those Down's Syndrome people. 361 00:27:15,692 --> 00:27:19,578 Beautiful people. They couldn't do sums, 362 00:27:19,578 --> 00:27:25,280 they couldn't be electricians, they could be a monk. 363 00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:28,345 They felt, they were sensitive, and they had 364 00:27:28,345 --> 00:27:31,351 these beautiful relationships with each other. 365 00:27:31,351 --> 00:27:33,630 Brothers and sisters, institutionalised, 366 00:27:33,630 --> 00:27:37,622 but really really kind. I saw that. 367 00:27:37,622 --> 00:27:40,183 Now what type of person do you want to be? 368 00:27:40,183 --> 00:27:44,128 Your kids to be? They weren't tired, they had fun. 369 00:27:44,128 --> 00:27:49,249 And when we accept ourselves for what we are, 370 00:27:49,249 --> 00:27:52,301 instead of..going back to your kids, 371 00:27:52,301 --> 00:27:55,296 don't push them, let them just develop, 372 00:27:55,296 --> 00:27:59,404 nurture them, encourage them, inspire them, 373 00:27:59,404 --> 00:28:01,846 but who knows what they will be in this life? 374 00:28:01,846 --> 00:28:04,024 They're not all going to go to University 375 00:28:04,024 --> 00:28:05,952 and it's terrible that everyone has to go to 376 00:28:05,952 --> 00:28:08,055 University - there's so much more to the world 377 00:28:08,055 --> 00:28:11,634 and life! So many people in this world, 378 00:28:11,634 --> 00:28:15,381 University kills them. 379 00:28:15,381 --> 00:28:19,232 There was a graffiti which I remember outside 380 00:28:19,232 --> 00:28:21,413 the philosophy department, 381 00:28:21,413 --> 00:28:27,218 no, this was actually outside the physics lab in Cambridge. 382 00:28:27,218 --> 00:28:30,093 Graffiti in those days, you'd actually go looking 383 00:28:30,093 --> 00:28:33,541 for it because it was really profound. 384 00:28:33,541 --> 00:28:39,105 And that was - "exams - kill by degrees". 385 00:28:39,105 --> 00:28:42,587 It's a wondeful pun - they kill by degrees. 386 00:28:42,587 --> 00:28:47,121 They kill learning, they kill the excitement 387 00:28:47,121 --> 00:28:49,816 of investigating knowledge, we have to be 388 00:28:49,816 --> 00:28:53,470 tested and graded - who gets the best. 389 00:28:53,470 --> 00:28:57,578 It actually kills emotional intelligence, 390 00:28:57,578 --> 00:29:00,733 academic insitutitions, mostly, maybe they've 391 00:29:00,733 --> 00:29:03,206 changed somewhere, most of them them they 392 00:29:03,206 --> 00:29:09,885 kill that ability to explore and also to cooperate 393 00:29:09,885 --> 00:29:12,893 with each other, because scores are all personal, 394 00:29:12,893 --> 00:29:16,149 you have to compete against your best friends. 395 00:29:16,149 --> 00:29:20,325 And of course that causes a lot of tiredness. 396 00:29:20,325 --> 00:29:24,263 A lot of "you have to live up to something you can't be." 397 00:29:24,263 --> 00:29:31,146 That is a stress of life. Me, I don't have any stress giving public talks. 398 00:29:31,146 --> 00:29:35,192 Years and years and years ago I worked it out, so simple! 399 00:29:35,192 --> 00:29:39,835 That if I give a public talk and you guys like it, wonderful! I get so much joy 400 00:29:39,835 --> 00:29:44,791 seeing you happy and see I can actually help you and change your lives. 401 00:29:44,791 --> 00:29:49,284 I'm really happy if my talks are really well received. 402 00:29:49,284 --> 00:29:52,987 But I'm even more happy if you don't like them! 403 00:29:52,987 --> 00:29:57,013 Because then you can live me alone and I can spend more time in my cave 404 00:29:57,013 --> 00:30:00,195 and just enjoy my time, retire, because you don't like my talks, 405 00:30:00,195 --> 00:30:03,732 you've heard all the old jokes before, all the stories before, 406 00:30:03,732 --> 00:30:07,848 so none of you actually come here, brilliant! 407 00:30:07,848 --> 00:30:13,108 That actually is my trick, is my stratgy. It did not work! 408 00:30:13,108 --> 00:30:18,251 I decided to write all my stories in books, so you don't have to come back anymore. 409 00:30:18,251 --> 00:30:22,684 I have to keep telling them until you get so bored that you won't come back. 410 00:30:22,684 --> 00:30:25,212 But it doesn't work... You keep coming back for more. 411 00:30:25,212 --> 00:30:29,108 You must be all masochists [chuckles]. 412 00:30:29,108 --> 00:30:34,942 But no.. the point was, I don't care! Either way life is good! 413 00:30:34,942 --> 00:30:37,777 You succeed, you don't succeed. 414 00:30:37,777 --> 00:30:45,341 But the trouble is the pressure is on you in this world - you only have one idea of success. 415 00:30:45,341 --> 00:30:49,854 Or limited ideas of what being a successful person is. 416 00:30:49,854 --> 00:30:56,357 I want to try and make more ideas of success, broaden it. 417 00:30:56,357 --> 00:31:03,185 Even if you're living out in the streets, you're living out in the street happily. 418 00:31:03,185 --> 00:31:05,368 Is that success? 419 00:31:05,368 --> 00:31:08,539 Sometimes people think, "oh that poor person" 420 00:31:08,539 --> 00:31:13,494 You ask the person and they say, "No, I'm free, I don't have to worry about.." 421 00:31:13,494 --> 00:31:16,875 It's a bit cold maybe.. Have you lived out in the street? 422 00:31:16,875 --> 00:31:20,548 I remember just in the hippie years, camping out under bridges. 423 00:31:20,548 --> 00:31:25,464 I remember as a monk, one of the most wondeful times I had as a monk 424 00:31:25,464 --> 00:31:29,569 was when we had to leave the monastery in in Thailand after 5 years, 425 00:31:29,569 --> 00:31:34,049 you had your basic training, out, out, out, go! 426 00:31:34,049 --> 00:31:40,960 And we had to just walk and eveything I owned I carried with me. 427 00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:45,682 It wasn't that much, you could walk, it was light. All my possessions 428 00:31:45,682 --> 00:31:51,144 were on my back and it never ached. And it was a beautiful feeling of freedom, 429 00:31:51,144 --> 00:31:56,023 like being a bird, and you could be a bird as a human being, 430 00:31:56,023 --> 00:32:02,125 and every crossroad I came to you could go any directions you wanted, 431 00:32:02,125 --> 00:32:07,365 you had no pressure on you to get anywhere, to achieve anything, 432 00:32:07,365 --> 00:32:15,291 you had no deadlines, no appointments, you just "that's a nice direction, I'll go there." 433 00:32:15,291 --> 00:32:20,720 You had this wonderful ability to sleep anywhere, in a rice field, in a paddock. 434 00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:28,019 The best place, my teacher said to sleep as a monk at that time was in the 435 00:32:28,019 --> 00:32:32,990 cremation grounds. The reason was that Thai people were so scared 436 00:32:32,990 --> 00:32:39,050 of ghosts you'd be guaranteed a peaceful evening if you went there. 437 00:32:39,050 --> 00:32:41,759 But if you go anywhere else they'd always come asking you 438 00:32:41,759 --> 00:32:45,532 questions or whatever, so the cremation grounds were the favourite 439 00:32:45,532 --> 00:32:48,645 places to go sleep at night. 440 00:32:48,645 --> 00:32:57,438 Everyone else was sleeping there as well - all the corpses [chuckles] 441 00:32:57,438 --> 00:32:59,598 It's a very nice place to have a sleep. 442 00:32:59,598 --> 00:33:05,279 But anyway, there was a beautiful feeling, you had no pressure on you. 443 00:33:05,279 --> 00:33:08,110 So much freedom wherever you wanted to go. 444 00:33:08,110 --> 00:33:13,898 And in the morning you'd go to any village and get enough to eat on the alms round. 445 00:33:13,898 --> 00:33:20,347 You didn't need any money, just your alms bowl. 446 00:33:20,347 --> 00:33:28,008 The beautiful feeling of freedom, and even though you walked a long distance 447 00:33:28,008 --> 00:33:34,720 and it was hot, you never felt tired emotionally because you hardly 448 00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:39,413 thought because there was nothing to think about. 449 00:33:39,413 --> 00:33:42,988 What do you think about? Your worries. 450 00:33:42,988 --> 00:33:45,733 Where you have to be, how you're going to get there. 451 00:33:45,733 --> 00:33:52,366 We waste so much time and energy worrying about the future which is 452 00:33:52,366 --> 00:33:58,609 why if you are to overcome tiredness and it's a big problem for you, 453 00:33:58,609 --> 00:34:04,020 one of the things is please learn how to keep your mind efficient. 454 00:34:04,020 --> 00:34:08,804 Doing life is easy, thinking about it is the hard part. 455 00:34:08,804 --> 00:34:15,608 Living with a partner is easy, if you think about it, it drives you crazy. 456 00:34:15,608 --> 00:34:19,236 Honestly, just in Thailand they were saying, 457 00:34:19,236 --> 00:34:24,314 "Oh, my husband keeps yapping at me, he's really nasty to me." 458 00:34:24,314 --> 00:34:29,832 I say again, if your husband comes home and he's always nasty to you, 459 00:34:29,832 --> 00:34:37,204 says all these bad things remember why you were born with two ears, 460 00:34:37,204 --> 00:34:43,390 one to go in, one to go out, don't keep anything! 461 00:34:43,390 --> 00:34:46,892 Because when you keep it, that's called thinking about it, 462 00:34:46,892 --> 00:34:50,082 you let it go immediately. 463 00:34:50,082 --> 00:34:59,855 The ability to let go of stuff which is not necessary, that's the secret of overcoming tiredness. 464 00:34:59,855 --> 00:35:02,955 Let go of thinking, just do it. 465 00:35:02,955 --> 00:35:09,920 Let go of the future, you're exhausted worrying about what's going to happen next. 466 00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:16,831 And let go of the past - I don't know if I told this a couple of weeks ago but 467 00:35:16,831 --> 00:35:24,387 a very wonderful compliment which I got, 2-3 weeks ago I did my annual 468 00:35:24,387 --> 00:35:30,969 visit to the Cancer Wellness Association, they started off in this old house in Cottesloe, 469 00:35:30,969 --> 00:35:36,174 and the government, good on the Western Australian government, they actually put a 470 00:35:36,174 --> 00:35:42,036 lot of money into building a huge campus, everything to do with cancer, 471 00:35:42,036 --> 00:35:47,264 so there you will find the Melanoma Society, the Prostate Cancer Society, 472 00:35:47,264 --> 00:35:51,471 the Breast Cancer Society, and the general wellness association, 473 00:35:51,471 --> 00:35:58,195 just all in one area, which is brilliant. And I go there every year. 474 00:35:58,195 --> 00:36:03,231 And when I went there, I was reminded, my 26th year going there, 475 00:36:03,231 --> 00:36:08,494 it's a long time, 26 years, and they said the reason we always invite you back, 476 00:36:08,494 --> 00:36:11,400 usually the first talk of the season, the first talk of the year, 477 00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:17,945 to get it started in a good way, they said 26 years ago there was a girl there, 478 00:36:17,945 --> 00:36:24,922 a woman, she had cancer, she got into remission but she always worried 479 00:36:24,922 --> 00:36:32,582 what would happen if it came back, and no counselor could help her, 480 00:36:32,582 --> 00:36:36,992 and then this monk comes along, and tells the story of the other 481 00:36:36,992 --> 00:36:42,161 great philosopher, I told already about Snoopy, the American philospher, 482 00:36:42,161 --> 00:36:46,480 the greatest philosopher of the last century. But there was even an earlier English philosopher 483 00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:54,271 I really really respect, if you like philosophy check out one of the best philosophers 484 00:36:54,271 --> 00:37:00,310 who's ever been written about called Winnie the Pooh [laughter] 485 00:37:00,310 --> 00:37:04,337 Now the other philosophers who teach in universities there's just full of too many words, 486 00:37:04,337 --> 00:37:08,061 they never get to the heart of it! And there's Winnie the Pooh, 487 00:37:08,061 --> 00:37:12,684 one of my favourite stories, it would've been in Opening the Door of Your Heart, 488 00:37:12,684 --> 00:37:19,412 I actually wrote to Disney who has the copyright for Winnie the Pooh now 489 00:37:19,412 --> 00:37:22,936 and they said "absolutely no!" Because Disney is so commercial 490 00:37:22,936 --> 00:37:26,880 they won't allow anybody, even though it's a tiny tiny little bit from that book 491 00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:33,980 Winnie the Pooh, but anyway the story was which I told 26 years ago 492 00:37:33,980 --> 00:37:37,965 at the Cancer Wellness Association, the story was about Winnie the Pooh and 493 00:37:37,965 --> 00:37:43,636 little Piglet walking through the forest when there was a storm and twigs were 494 00:37:43,636 --> 00:37:48,450 coming down, branches were coming down, and then trees started getting uprooted. 495 00:37:48,450 --> 00:37:54,966 Storms are dangerous. You shouldn't be out in a storm in a forest and so Piglet 496 00:37:54,966 --> 00:38:01,473 was really afraid and his fear got so huge he turned to Winnie the Pooh and said 497 00:38:01,473 --> 00:38:05,867 "I can't go any longer! I can't walk any longer! I'm so afraid." 498 00:38:05,867 --> 00:38:07,859 "Why?" said Winnie the Pooh. 499 00:38:07,859 --> 00:38:15,118 "I'm so afraid that a tree might fall when we are underneath it!" 500 00:38:15,118 --> 00:38:22,224 Which was a possibility... And Winnie the Pooh shot back, 501 00:38:22,224 --> 00:38:26,649 which showed what a great philosopher he was, if he didn't have so much hair he 502 00:38:26,649 --> 00:38:31,642 could've been a Buddhist monk [laughter] 503 00:38:31,642 --> 00:38:42,652 He shot back with, "what would happen if a tree fell when we were not underneath it?" 504 00:38:42,652 --> 00:38:47,151 And that was the end of the fear. Because all fear is looking into the future 505 00:38:47,151 --> 00:38:51,798 with a negative mind, thinking of all the things which will go wrong 506 00:38:51,798 --> 00:38:57,630 with a fault-finding mind, that's called fear. The opposite is hope, looking at the 507 00:38:57,630 --> 00:39:01,719 future with a positive mind, what might go right, 508 00:39:01,719 --> 00:39:08,315 and you would have noticed in your life, if you fear something, it's more likely 509 00:39:08,315 --> 00:39:16,505 to happen, with hope, what you hope for is more likely to happen. 510 00:39:16,505 --> 00:39:24,207 So when I told that story to this girl 26 years ago, I answered her question. 511 00:39:24,207 --> 00:39:26,667 What would happen if the cancer came back? 512 00:39:26,667 --> 00:39:30,920 The answer was - what would happen if it didn't come back? 513 00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:35,950 It never came back, and that's why they keep inviting me there. 514 00:39:35,950 --> 00:39:40,555 I come back but the cancer doesn't [laughter] 515 00:39:40,555 --> 00:39:43,577 Now you can understand, analyse that a little deeper, 516 00:39:43,577 --> 00:39:48,351 it's obvious, when you look at it a bit deeper, if you're worried about a cancer, 517 00:39:48,351 --> 00:39:50,663 "what would happen if it came back?? will it come back?" 518 00:39:50,663 --> 00:39:54,530 you're getting tense, you're getting worried, the sort of things, the sort of stress which 519 00:39:54,530 --> 00:40:01,418 causes cancer, you are just putting into place. But if you think, what happens if it doesn't, 520 00:40:01,418 --> 00:40:05,557 you don't worry about it, which means you're more relaxed, more healthy, and 521 00:40:05,557 --> 00:40:08,380 the chances are the cancer is not going to come back. 522 00:40:08,380 --> 00:40:16,923 You increase the chances of success, good health, happiness, 523 00:40:16,923 --> 00:40:25,515 and also you don't get so tired, worrying about what will happen. 524 00:40:25,515 --> 00:40:33,189 Deeper, this is meditation teachings but it's brilliant teachings - 525 00:40:33,189 --> 00:40:38,659 "two parts to the human mind", this is why people get tired. 526 00:40:38,705 --> 00:40:43,106 I call it the doing and the knowing. If you've been to any of my meditation 527 00:40:43,106 --> 00:40:49,553 teachings you will know this, it's a very powerful way of looking at the human mind. 528 00:40:49,553 --> 00:40:52,894 The doing mind is what reacts, it's reacting to what I'm saying, 529 00:40:52,894 --> 00:40:55,965 thinking about it, saying, "oh that's good" or "that's rubbish", 530 00:40:55,965 --> 00:41:00,801 that reaction is called doing. Planning, remembering, 531 00:41:00,801 --> 00:41:05,230 figuring out things, initiating action, deciding to walk, 532 00:41:05,230 --> 00:41:09,562 figuring out what you're going to do when you leave here, what you're going to do 533 00:41:09,562 --> 00:41:14,937 on the weekend, all that is part of the doing mind. 534 00:41:14,937 --> 00:41:18,790 The other part of the mind is just what knows. 535 00:41:18,790 --> 00:41:22,690 The passive consciousness, just being aware, 536 00:41:22,690 --> 00:41:28,844 feeling the itch on your arm, feeling the coolness of this room, 537 00:41:28,844 --> 00:41:35,338 hearing the sound of the traffic in the distance. 538 00:41:35,338 --> 00:41:39,545 Just knowing. Now, once you know the difference 539 00:41:39,545 --> 00:41:45,459 between those two parts of the human mind it won't take you long to notice 540 00:41:45,459 --> 00:41:50,332 that most of your mental energy, over 90% of it, 541 00:41:50,332 --> 00:41:57,070 goes into doing stuff, reacting. Which means you've hardly got anything 542 00:41:57,070 --> 00:42:02,489 left just to know, to be aware, to feel. Which is why so many people, 543 00:42:02,489 --> 00:42:07,831 they can't even see the stars at night, even when they're up, 544 00:42:07,831 --> 00:42:13,260 they're just doing too much. They can't feel the wind, 545 00:42:13,260 --> 00:42:18,030 they don't know when it rains, they're too busy doing something else, 546 00:42:18,030 --> 00:42:24,044 they're not alive, and they're also very very tired, 547 00:42:24,044 --> 00:42:32,991 doing far too much, being far too little. 548 00:42:32,991 --> 00:42:42,587 What happens, if instead of actually thinking you just "are", just feeling, 549 00:42:42,587 --> 00:42:46,265 feeling the wind, feeling the cold, feeling the heat, walking back to the 550 00:42:46,265 --> 00:42:54,786 car with your shoes off, feeling the stone or the grass under your feet. 551 00:42:54,786 --> 00:42:58,650 You feel alive, but not just feeling alive, 552 00:42:58,650 --> 00:43:04,402 you are feeding energy into knowing, taking it away from doing so much. 553 00:43:04,402 --> 00:43:07,181 When you put energy back into passive awareness - 554 00:43:07,181 --> 00:43:16,556 knowing, mindfulness - tiredness starts to go. You wake up because the 555 00:43:16,556 --> 00:43:22,030 mental tiredness is the knower with very low energy. 556 00:43:22,030 --> 00:43:26,299 Put energy into the awareness and you'll feel awake. 557 00:43:26,299 --> 00:43:31,494 A good example of that is having a cup of coffee. 558 00:43:31,494 --> 00:43:34,197 Before you have a cup of coffee you're miserable. 559 00:43:34,197 --> 00:43:37,332 Have a cup of coffee, you can feel more, you're awake, you're alive, 560 00:43:37,332 --> 00:43:41,741 you can see things, you can hear things, you can think. 561 00:43:41,741 --> 00:43:48,594 That's unnatural energy, it's still energy, but imagine that energy was natural. 562 00:43:48,594 --> 00:43:52,973 So you wake up alive. When the mind is energised, 563 00:43:52,973 --> 00:43:58,690 it energises the body, that's why what I was doing 10 minutes after 564 00:43:58,690 --> 00:44:03,356 I was teaching you in the meditation session, that's why usually I give guided 565 00:44:03,356 --> 00:44:09,040 meditation almost all the way through, but I was so exhausted, so tired, 566 00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:12,481 if you want to know why I'll tell you what I've been doing the last two weeks 567 00:44:12,481 --> 00:44:17,869 and today, if you want to know why it was there, the reason, I should be exhausted, 568 00:44:17,869 --> 00:44:24,718 I taught you for 20 minutes, and then right, no more doing anything, 569 00:44:24,718 --> 00:44:32,665 kept my mind really still, getting energy pouring back into awareness, 570 00:44:32,665 --> 00:44:41,459 you wake up alive. Wow, that's incredible, 571 00:44:41,459 --> 00:44:47,929 feeling the wind.. Can you hear that? Feel it? Wow.. 572 00:44:47,929 --> 00:44:52,726 Most people wouldn't be able to hear that, but you did. 573 00:44:52,726 --> 00:45:01,075 Energy starts to come back, tiredness vanishes. 574 00:45:01,075 --> 00:45:09,318 Heard a story at a global conference, a psychologist, he's a good psychologist, 575 00:45:09,318 --> 00:45:15,071 but a bit crazy, why you have to pay people to tell you this is absolutely ridiculous. 576 00:45:15,071 --> 00:45:20,409 His therapy, his method of therapy, which is very very popular, 577 00:45:20,409 --> 00:45:29,718 you go to his place and pay a lot of money and he tells you to go have a walk in nature. 578 00:45:29,718 --> 00:45:34,632 And it works! People's problems disappear, he makes a lot of money, 579 00:45:34,632 --> 00:45:39,474 their problems disappear, that's it. Smart guy. 580 00:45:39,474 --> 00:45:44,167 But why is it - walking in nature, or being by the ocean by yourself, 581 00:45:44,167 --> 00:45:49,418 not swimming or surfing, just sitting there. When you go to a forest and just do nothing, 582 00:45:49,418 --> 00:45:55,554 why is that therapeutic? Simply because energy is going back 583 00:45:55,554 --> 00:46:01,057 into mindfulness, into knowing, you're not doing so much, 584 00:46:01,057 --> 00:46:06,746 which means that your tiredness is going, it's vanishing, and when that 585 00:46:06,746 --> 00:46:12,963 tiredness vanishes, your health, mental, emotional, physical, 586 00:46:12,963 --> 00:46:20,339 increases enormously. You're healing just because in nature you 587 00:46:20,339 --> 00:46:24,215 can't do very much. Check it out this weekend. 588 00:46:24,215 --> 00:46:32,505 You've got a choice - go shopping or go into the forest. 589 00:46:32,505 --> 00:46:41,496 And check what you feel like afterwards. One is so much doing you come back tired. 590 00:46:41,496 --> 00:46:45,709 You go to a forest, or by a beach, a quiet place by yourself, 591 00:46:45,709 --> 00:46:49,305 go into King's Park or whatever, walk around the river quietly, 592 00:46:49,305 --> 00:46:55,883 not really doing much, and you find your tiredness vanishes. Please for goodness sake, 593 00:46:55,883 --> 00:47:01,064 give yourself a break. Too many people getting cancers, 594 00:47:01,064 --> 00:47:08,457 too many partners breaking up. Too many kids just not being able to 595 00:47:08,457 --> 00:47:12,632 connect with their parents, because their parents can't connect with them, 596 00:47:12,632 --> 00:47:19,117 because they're too tired. Not being able to listen because they're 597 00:47:19,117 --> 00:47:25,818 too dull. For goodness sake understand tiredness is one of the biggest scourges 598 00:47:25,818 --> 00:47:33,280 of our modern age, and there's many many ways, especially what you're heard tonight, 599 00:47:33,280 --> 00:47:41,640 can overcome that tiredness and I've proved it just by giving a talk, for 50 minutes, 600 00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:48,115 even though by all reasonable people it should have been impossible. 601 00:47:48,115 --> 00:48:02,643 Thank you for listening. Sadhu!! Sadhu!! Sadhu!! 602 00:48:02,643 --> 00:48:08,242 Okay, that's energy! 603 00:48:08,242 --> 00:48:13,358 Very good. What have we got here? From Ireland, France and London! 604 00:48:13,358 --> 00:48:17,526 Wow, Europe. How do we deal with the tiredness with 605 00:48:17,526 --> 00:48:21,519 people telling us we're wrong, or that stuff we believe in is wrong? 606 00:48:21,519 --> 00:48:29,685 Just tell them - yeah you're right, I am wrong. When I went to Malaysia 607 00:48:29,685 --> 00:48:39,591 a lot, this is one of the problems. In Malaysia there are also many Christians, 608 00:48:39,591 --> 00:48:44,243 and these are the evangelical ones, the ones that want to convert everybody.. 609 00:48:44,243 --> 00:48:48,706 And so there was a problem in Malaysia, also in Singapore, 610 00:48:48,706 --> 00:48:54,901 there's an old Buddhist man, been Buddhist all his life, but his grandkid or his son had become 611 00:48:54,901 --> 00:48:58,705 an evangelical. Everyone else was Buddhist. Or even Hindu, or whatever. 612 00:48:58,705 --> 00:49:04,612 And the son would think, "My father will go to hell if he doesn't convert.." 613 00:49:04,612 --> 00:49:11,314 So he'd go with his friends, and his pastor, by the bedside of this really sick and dying 614 00:49:11,314 --> 00:49:19,032 person, and keep harassing them until they converted, and it was such a painful experience 615 00:49:19,032 --> 00:49:23,883 that even I think the Singapore government made rules against that. 616 00:49:23,883 --> 00:49:29,709 But someone asked me - what was your advice? If that's my son, my grandson, 617 00:49:29,709 --> 00:49:35,171 I'm dying, he comes with his pastor, his friends and they start talking about 618 00:49:35,171 --> 00:49:39,596 the Bible, Hallelujah, and I'm going to go to hell if I don't convert, 619 00:49:39,596 --> 00:49:43,627 and Jesus is the only way, what do I do? 620 00:49:43,627 --> 00:49:50,642 Don't try to convince them they're wrong. You can't. Convert! 621 00:49:50,642 --> 00:49:54,265 Tell them, "oh yeah that makes a lot of sense, grandson, okay I will take 622 00:49:54,265 --> 00:49:57,661 Jesus as my saviour." And they go Hallelujah, Hallelujah, 623 00:49:57,661 --> 00:50:00,712 and then they leave you alone. And as soon as they've walked out 624 00:50:00,712 --> 00:50:05,906 of the door, you can convert back again. [laughter] Become a Buddhist. 625 00:50:05,906 --> 00:50:10,387 That's my practical advice. So if someone says, "you're wrong, 626 00:50:10,387 --> 00:50:12,730 you're wrong, you're wrong." "Yeah, you're right, I agree with you," 627 00:50:12,730 --> 00:50:17,869 "I'm wrong, okay". Then they leave you alone. And as soon as they leave you alone, 628 00:50:17,869 --> 00:50:22,893 "no that's rubbish, I was right all along" [laughter] 629 00:50:22,893 --> 00:50:32,406 Otherwise it's impossible. I say this even with partners, whoever you're living with, 630 00:50:32,406 --> 00:50:36,483 you should know by now. [Phone rings] There we go, music to 631 00:50:36,483 --> 00:50:43,640 give an answer to a talk, that's fine, that happens, anyway it's not your fault, 632 00:50:43,640 --> 00:50:47,012 it's your mobile phone's fault, so don't get angry at you, 633 00:50:47,012 --> 00:50:53,246 spank your mobile phone, or whatever, put your mobile phone in detention. 634 00:50:53,246 --> 00:50:59,549 What was I talking about? Oh yeah, about being wrong. 635 00:50:59,549 --> 00:51:04,705 There is no way in the world you will ever be able to convince your partner 636 00:51:04,705 --> 00:51:09,228 that he's wrong, no way. And you should have found that out 637 00:51:09,228 --> 00:51:13,295 by now, how long have you been living with that guy? 638 00:51:13,295 --> 00:51:23,056 You can't do it. Even if you were, say, the Prime Minister of Germany, 639 00:51:23,056 --> 00:51:27,086 what's her name again? Angela Merkel! 640 00:51:27,086 --> 00:51:30,635 Incredibly smart woman, very powerful, I'm not sure if she's married, 641 00:51:30,635 --> 00:51:34,450 but I bet she always loses arguments with her husband, there's no way she can 642 00:51:34,450 --> 00:51:41,338 convince her husband he's wrong. And Obama cannot convince Michelle, 643 00:51:41,338 --> 00:51:45,611 his wife, she's wrong, it's impossible. Doesn't matter how powerful, intelligent, 644 00:51:45,611 --> 00:51:52,121 you are, it cannot be done. So don't try it. Many husbands say 645 00:51:52,121 --> 00:51:59,964 "Yes dear, yes dear, I agree with you dear," and they go off and do whatever they want. [laughter] 646 00:51:59,964 --> 00:52:06,298 It's true, so get used to that, wives. So anyway, we developed, 647 00:52:06,298 --> 00:52:09,535 if you haven't heard this yet, I always tell this story when I do weddings, 648 00:52:09,535 --> 00:52:14,702 another wedding tomorrow afternoon. There's no way you can convince someone 649 00:52:14,702 --> 00:52:22,753 they're wrong, so how can you actually make a decision and actually get on 650 00:52:22,753 --> 00:52:29,477 in life but not always having to submit. That really sucks doesn't it? 651 00:52:29,477 --> 00:52:33,022 He's always right, why do I always have to agree with him? 652 00:52:33,022 --> 00:52:39,911 Why does she always have to be right? So the calendar method, the solution, 653 00:52:39,911 --> 00:52:45,334 which allows people to live harmoniously with their partners, the calendar method 654 00:52:45,334 --> 00:52:51,015 is that when you have an argument, don't argue who's right and wrong! 655 00:52:51,015 --> 00:52:57,776 Let the calendar decide! On the odd days of the month she is right. [laughter] 656 00:52:57,776 --> 00:53:04,065 The girl is always right on the odd days of the month. On the even days he is right. 657 00:53:04,065 --> 00:53:11,722 So that's fair. Today is the 19th, so today all the girls are right! Yay! 658 00:53:11,722 --> 00:53:19,092 Be careful, tomorrow he is right. [laughter] That way you don't have to argue anymore. 659 00:53:19,092 --> 00:53:25,983 The calendar decides who's right without any arguments and you can make a decision. 660 00:53:25,983 --> 00:53:33,051 It's never that bad if the other person makes a decision, not you, at least it's fair. 661 00:53:33,051 --> 00:53:36,965 And people have already figured out, you girls have already figured out, 662 00:53:36,965 --> 00:53:42,190 you get more days right a year than he does. Only about four or five, 663 00:53:42,190 --> 00:53:47,225 but guys, give it to them, it's worth it. The trouble is, people say, 664 00:53:47,225 --> 00:53:55,933 what happens if you're in a gay relationship? [laughter] Then you've got me stumped, 665 00:53:55,933 --> 00:54:06,669 it doesn't work. Both of you are right on one day, the next day both of you are wrong. [laughter] 666 00:54:06,669 --> 00:54:11,376 Anyway, when people tell you you're wrong I just forget about it, just let them tell you, 667 00:54:11,376 --> 00:54:14,432 just do it, don't think about it, and afterwards you realise 668 00:54:14,432 --> 00:54:17,701 they can tell you whatever they want, it's just rubbish. 669 00:54:17,701 --> 00:54:20,519 [Next Question] Do you think there's a link between tiredness, and the oxygen 670 00:54:20,519 --> 00:54:23,202 we breathe, pollution or how you breathe? 671 00:54:23,202 --> 00:54:25,555 There is a little bit of a connection there because oxygen gives you 672 00:54:25,555 --> 00:54:31,351 physical energy and if it's not much oxygen, or it's polluted, or something like that, 673 00:54:31,351 --> 00:54:36,867 of course that will impact the amount of oxygen you can breathe in but usually 674 00:54:36,867 --> 00:54:42,914 the lungs compensate so if there's not much oxygen coming in you breathe in more. 675 00:54:42,914 --> 00:54:46,484 That's what happened to me when I went to Bhutan. 676 00:54:46,484 --> 00:54:52,169 It was very clear air but there's hardly any oxygen when you go up to Tiger's Nest, 677 00:54:52,169 --> 00:54:56,002 because it's very very high up. At the bottom of that hill 678 00:54:56,002 --> 00:55:00,637 someone had an energy bar, a little energy bar like you can buy here, 679 00:55:00,637 --> 00:55:05,711 a Mars bar or something, but when they got to the top it ballooned out. 680 00:55:05,711 --> 00:55:10,188 They showed it to me, it was like a balloon, because the air temperature at the top 681 00:55:10,188 --> 00:55:14,930 and bottom was so different that the pressure inside at the bottom was just 682 00:55:14,930 --> 00:55:19,378 ordinary pressure but by the time we got up to the top it was a balloon. 683 00:55:19,378 --> 00:55:24,008 So that's how high it was, and there was hardly any oxygen there, but what happens 684 00:55:24,008 --> 00:55:30,624 is that the lungs breathe in more. So yeah, there's a little bit between 685 00:55:30,624 --> 00:55:33,117 the tiredness and the oxygen but not that much because the body usually 686 00:55:33,117 --> 00:55:36,478 knows how to compensate. It doesn't know how to compensate 687 00:55:36,478 --> 00:55:39,293 when you think too much.. 688 00:55:39,293 --> 00:55:43,608 Dear Ajahn (from London), what can a person do when they have lost everything in their life 689 00:55:43,608 --> 00:55:47,767 and have torturous anxiety about the future. 690 00:55:47,767 --> 00:55:51,557 Remember me, I have lost everything 691 00:55:51,557 --> 00:55:57,273 in my life. I've lost my degree, it doesn't count for anything anymore. 692 00:55:57,273 --> 00:56:01,908 I've lost all my money, haven't got a cent. I had some money when I was young. 693 00:56:01,908 --> 00:56:12,158 What else did I lose? I lost girlfriends, money, possessions, everything. 694 00:56:12,158 --> 00:56:17,995 I lost all my past, all my memories. I lost all my fears. 695 00:56:17,995 --> 00:56:21,792 I've lost my security. I don't have superannuation. I'm not allowed 696 00:56:21,792 --> 00:56:25,815 according to how monks agree, to take a pension. 697 00:56:25,815 --> 00:56:30,528 I haven't got anything. What would happen if you didn't 698 00:56:30,528 --> 00:56:40,199 feed me tomorrow or the day after? Ah! Now losing everything is not 699 00:56:40,199 --> 00:56:47,205 the problem, sometimes it gives you a lot of freedom, you can live simply, 700 00:56:47,205 --> 00:56:53,394 learn to live simply. The torturous anxiety, now that, 701 00:56:53,394 --> 00:56:56,232 you've lost possessions, but now you're allowing your peace 702 00:56:56,232 --> 00:57:02,752 to be lost as well. Recently we had a break-in at Bodhinyana monastery. 703 00:57:02,752 --> 00:57:07,395 They pinched some chainsaws. Straightaway, I said they can pinch the 704 00:57:07,395 --> 00:57:10,375 chainsaws, they can steal that, but they're not going to steal our 705 00:57:10,375 --> 00:57:16,325 peace and compassion. We're not going to worry about that. In fact it turned out 706 00:57:16,325 --> 00:57:20,064 to be really good because those chainsaws were quite old and the 707 00:57:20,064 --> 00:57:24,027 insurance allowed us to get much better ones. [laughter] 708 00:57:24,027 --> 00:57:28,543 So if ever that thief is around, come up here and we'll say thankyou. 709 00:57:28,543 --> 00:57:32,038 I shouldn't say that but it actually worked out good in the end. 710 00:57:32,038 --> 00:57:34,469 They can come into your house and they can steal your possessions 711 00:57:34,469 --> 00:57:38,172 but why allow them to steal your happiness as well? 712 00:57:38,172 --> 00:57:41,398 You don't need to do that. So you may have lost all your physical 713 00:57:41,398 --> 00:57:46,080 possessions, maybe lost your wife, or your kids, or something, 714 00:57:46,080 --> 00:57:56,954 but you don't need to lose your happiness. That is losing your hope. 715 00:57:56,954 --> 00:58:01,995 So what you can do is restore hope. See other people, sometimes when we 716 00:58:01,995 --> 00:58:06,976 have these little groups, people in the same situation, 717 00:58:06,976 --> 00:58:12,421 what's that called again? Therapy groups, peer support groups, 718 00:58:12,421 --> 00:58:15,344 sometimes when we hear what other people have gone through, which is similar 719 00:58:15,344 --> 00:58:23,516 to what we've gone through, it gives us hope instead of fear and anxiety. 720 00:58:23,516 --> 00:58:28,141 That's such an important thing to create in your life - hope. 721 00:58:28,141 --> 00:58:34,910 So even if you haven't been able to find a partner in life, don't give up, 722 00:58:34,910 --> 00:58:42,078 keep on going. If you fear you won't, then you will not. You can always have hope, 723 00:58:42,078 --> 00:58:49,184 "yes it's possible", then you're opening the doors to success. So always look into 724 00:58:49,184 --> 00:58:56,229 the future with a positive mind and then your last experience will never take 725 00:58:56,229 --> 00:59:02,617 away your hope and where there's hope there is success. 726 00:59:02,617 --> 00:59:07,767 So thank you to those people. It's 9 o'clock now. So is there any questions from the floor? 727 00:59:07,767 --> 00:59:11,742 Good, great, bye bye. [laughter] 728 00:59:11,742 --> 00:59:14,026 Okay, we're going to bow down to the Buddha, Dhamma, Sangha. 729 00:59:14,026 --> 00:59:19,098 I'm sorry if I can't say hello to you, because I have to rush off and go 730 00:59:19,098 --> 00:59:24,477 and teach down in Jhana Grove for a nice retreat.