Picture this.
I'm at a party,
and someone walks up to me, asking,
"What do you do for a living?"
I tell them I work in the wine industry.
Nine out of ten responses are:
(Sighs)
"I have no idea about wine."
It's the oddest reaction
because I don't say, "I have no idea about medicine"
when someone tells me that they're a doctor.
(Laughter)
But wine has this intimidating effect on people.
It intimidated me too.
Then I studied it.
And what a surprise:
studying it is not as fun as drinking it.
(Laughter)
Everything started in California,
where I studied for my wine specialist certification.
The material was so dry and rational and technical
that it almost killed my joy for wine.
And that is why I'm here today:
I want to show you guys a new way of wine communication.
Back in the days,
my learning therapist discovered that I had issues remembering things.
And she taught me how to memorize French formulas, maps
with colors and shapes and forms.
Hence that's still how I study today.
I summarize everything and then illustrate it on my iPad.
For instance,
like these illustrations right here.
But it wasn't only the material I struggled with;
it was also how wine connoisseurs and professionals
talked about wine in front of me.
It's like,
"No, I do not get that gooseberry in that Sauvignon Blanc"
(Laughter)
and "Nope, I'm not detecting any hints of that dry tomato leaf in the Merlot."
(Laughter)
And I'm pretty sure you've also been in situations
where wine professionals are all about,
you know, their special rarities they have in their cellars,
or they talk about vintages,
or they say things like,
"Well, obviously, the Chassagne-Montrachet Marquis de Laguiche Premier Cru,
Chambertin-Clos de Bèze Grand Cru,
and Vosne-Romanée Les Petits Monts Premier Cru was amazing."
(Laughter)
(Applause)
(Cheers)
It was all vintage 1985 so, like, okay.
So the wine industry can seem extremely exclusive,
expensive, refined,
and almost a little elite.
So that's my mission: it's to simplify wine communication.
Wine is culture.
It's a cultural asset for over thousands of years.
It has been the second-oldest beverage
aside from water.
It's also just Mother Nature's heritage.
It grows in dirt -
no offense to the word "terroir" -
(Laughter)
like any other vegetable or fruit.
And then the aim of winemaking
is to actually produce fermented grape juice
that tastes good and reflects a certain parcel of the earth.
By now, you've probably also noticed
that I don't only want to simplify wine in communication,
but I want to create a light-hearted wine world.
Wouldn't it be just so much more fun if we would go into a restaurant
feeling like, "Uh, tonight, I kind of want a red wine
that has like a sweetness level of a Heinz ketchup,"
(Laughter)
rather than thinking,
"Ugh, did I like that semi-dry or off-dry wine?"
[THE 7 WINE SWEETNESS LEVELS]
So I thought about it.
What are these situations that inhibit us?
What are these inhibitions around wine?
And I came to the conclusion that there's two situations:
First situation is in a restaurant picking out a wine.
Second situation is you're in a shop picking out a wine.
So in a restaurant, most restaurants cannot afford a sommelier.
So you're either stuck with a wine list of 50 pages
with words you've never seen in your life,
not to mention pronounced them before,
and then - or you trust the recommendation of a waiter.
And then it begins.
I cannot tell you how often I have heard in any group someone say,
"Okay, guys, do you feel like a fruity or dry wine?"
Those are not opposites.
It's the -
(Laughter)
It's the biggest misunderstanding in wine knowledge.
Those are not opposites; these are opposites.
You have the sweetness levels
on this axis.
Sweet, dry -
you can't taste any residual sugar.
And then you have this axis,
where in white wines, it's minerally -
that's the aroma -
and then fruity,
or it's earthy for red wine and fruity.
And if you keep this in mind,
this will help you tell your waiter what you're kind of looking for.
It's like, "Okay.
White, fruity, dry. Thank you."
Then, second situation -
picking out a wine in a shop.
So you're standing there, you have the wine shelf in front of you,
there's 200 wines just like -
(Groans)
(Laughter)
You have your budget of 15 francs,
(Laughter)
your eyes wander to the middle part
because you know "those are my average prices right there,"
and you're like, "Okay,
love that horse."
(Laughter)
(Applause)
[WINE STRUCTURE]
82% of people pick out their wines like that.
It's efficient,
but the chance of actually getting what you want is pretty small.
(Laughter)
What if we would approach the wine shelf
with the same efficiency, with the same budget,
but actually come out with the wine that matches your taste buds.
Forget everything about aromas.
Wine structures.
They're like equalizers; they go up and down.
Every one has its structure: sugar, acidity, alcohol, tannins.
Tannins - red wine.
So, drying-out sensation.
You feel like a crisp, light white wine?
You're probably enjoying acidity.
So go for a Sauvignon Blanc, a Verdejo.
[RED WINE STRUCTURE]
Then you feel like a bold, powerful red wine.
You probably appreciate tannins, a little bit more alcohol.
Those pillars go up.
So you're looking for Malbec, Cabernet Sauvignon, or something.
Just have these in mind.
When picking out wine,
don't forget who your drinking companions are.
[Bottoms Up]
(Laughter)
What's the occasion? What are you buying this wine for?
I am going to give you a few tips
so you can blindly choose a wine from the shelf.
So,
Aperol.
We all love Aperol.
Go for a Sancerre.
It's a Sauvignon Blanc from France.
It's crisp, it's light,
and it will waken everyone up after a long workday.
Then your boss's birthday.
(Groans)
(Laughter)
Parents-in-law are inviting you over -
oh God, okay.
Any other scary situation.
Do not bring a Burgundy or Bordeaux,
because they will ask you questions.
You probably won't be able to answer them
(Laughter)
and embarrass yourself.
So bring a Brunello di Montalcino.
It's 100% Sangiovese; it's a top-notch wine.
A celebration:
bring Cava.
Cava is a sparkling Spanish wine that tastes just like Champagne
but costs half the price.
(Laughter)
Date night:
bring a Ripasso or Amarone.
The higher level of -
(Laughter)
yay!
(Laughter)
The higher level of alcohol will lower your inhibitions.
(Laughter)
Then family dinner:
bring a Tempranillo.
Everyone loves Tempranillo; it's a crowd-pleaser.
And at least no discussions will occur in that area.
And then a party.
To a party, you bring a wine where the party is located at.
You bring a wine where you're from, where the host is from.
It's always a nice gesture,
and it's a good icebreaker for when you don't know the people.
And so on that note,
next time you're at a party
and you meet someone from the wine industry,
don't tell them that you have no idea about wine
but ask them what they think about the aroma of gooseberry.
(Laughter)
Thank you.
(Applause)