[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.96,0:00:05.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What are you doing on this stage
Dialogue: 0,0:00:05.39,0:00:08.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in front of all these people?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.53,0:00:09.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:09.94,0:00:10.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Run --
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.94,0:00:11.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.94,0:00:13.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Run now.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.73,0:00:17.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's the voice of my anxiety talking.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.58,0:00:21.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even when there's absolutely\Nnothing wrong,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.54,0:00:25.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I sometimes get\Nthis overwhelming sense of doom,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.52,0:00:28.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like danger is lurking\Njust around the corner.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.06,0:00:31.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You see, a few years ago
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.20,0:00:33.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.82,0:00:34.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and depression.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.29,0:00:37.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Two conditions that often\Ngo hand in hand.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.07,0:00:42.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, there was a time\NI wouldn't have told anybody,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.22,0:00:44.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,especially not in front of a big audience.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.93,0:00:46.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As a Black woman,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.40,0:00:50.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've had to develop extraordinary\Nresilience to succeed,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.14,0:00:52.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and like most people in my community,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.14,0:00:55.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had the misconception that depression\Nwas a sign of weakness:
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.97,0:00:57.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a character flaw.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.53,0:00:59.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I wasn't weak;
Dialogue: 0,0:00:59.13,0:01:00.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was a high achiever.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.96,0:01:03.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd earned a Master's degree\Nin Media Studies,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.18,0:01:07.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and had a string of high-profile jobs\Nin the film and television industries.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:07.78,0:01:10.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd even won two Emmy awards\Nfor my hard work.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.44,0:01:14.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sure, I was totally spent,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.55,0:01:17.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I lacked interested in things\NI used to enjoy,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.25,0:01:18.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,barely ate,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.57,0:01:20.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,struggled with insomnia
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.49,0:01:23.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and felt isolated and depleted.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.56,0:01:25.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But depressed?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.04,0:01:26.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, not me.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.92,0:01:30.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It took weeks before I could admit it,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.15,0:01:31.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but the doctor was right;
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.68,0:01:32.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was depressed.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.41,0:01:36.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Still, I didn't tell anybody\Nabout my diagnosis.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.52,0:01:38.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was too ashamed.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.16,0:01:41.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't think I had\Nthe right to be depressed.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.49,0:01:44.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had a privileged life
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.14,0:01:47.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with a loving family\Nand a successful career,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.71,0:01:50.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when I thought about\Nthe unspeakable horrors
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.32,0:01:52.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that my ancestors\Nhad been through in this country
Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.84,0:01:54.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so that I could have it better,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.89,0:01:56.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my shame grew even deeper.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.06,0:01:59.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was standing on their shoulders.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.10,0:02:00.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How could I let them down?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.38,0:02:03.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would hold my head up,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.55,0:02:05.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,put a smile on my face,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.93,0:02:07.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and never tell a soul.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.59,0:02:14.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,On July 4, 2013,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.48,0:02:16.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my world came crashing in on me.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:17.40,0:02:20.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That was the day I got\Na phone call from my mom
Dialogue: 0,0:02:20.32,0:02:24.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,telling me that my 22-year-old nephew,\NPaul, had ended his life
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.54,0:02:27.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,after years of battling\Ndepression and anxiety.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.81,0:02:31.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There are no words that can describe\Nthe devastation I felt.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.67,0:02:33.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Paul and I were very close,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.98,0:02:36.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I had no idea he was in so much pain.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.75,0:02:40.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Neither one of us had ever talked\Nto the other about our struggles.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.43,0:02:42.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The shame and stigma kept us both silent.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:44.16,0:02:48.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, my way of dealing with adversity\Nis to face it head on,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.24,0:02:51.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I spent the next two years\Nresearching depression and anxiety,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.37,0:02:54.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and what I found was mind-blowing.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:54.76,0:02:56.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The World Health Organization reports
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.95,0:03:03.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that depression is the leading cause\Nof sickness and disability in the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:04.17,0:03:07.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,While the exact cause\Nof depression isn't clear,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.05,0:03:10.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,research suggests that most\Nmental disorders develop,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.26,0:03:12.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at least in part,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:12.01,0:03:14.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because of a chemical \Nimbalance in the brain,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.69,0:03:18.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and/or an underlying\Ngenetic predisposition.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.04,0:03:21.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you can't just shake it off.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.91,0:03:24.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For Black Americans,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.66,0:03:28.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,stressors like racism\Nand socioeconomic disparities
Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.87,0:03:33.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,put them at a 20 percent greater risk\Nof developing a mental disorder,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.83,0:03:36.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yet they seek mental health services
Dialogue: 0,0:03:36.32,0:03:39.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at about half the rate of white Americans.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:39.64,0:03:42.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One reason is the stigma,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.42,0:03:48.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with 63 percent of Black Americans\Nmistaking depression for a weakness.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.68,0:03:53.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sadly, the suicide rate\Namong Black children
Dialogue: 0,0:03:53.88,0:03:56.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,has doubled in the past 20 years.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:57.88,0:03:59.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, here's the good news.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.60,0:04:04.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,70 percent of people struggling\Nwith depression will improve
Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.91,0:04:08.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with therapy, treatment and medication.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.46,0:04:11.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Armed with this information,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:11.29,0:04:12.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I made a decision:
Dialogue: 0,0:04:12.73,0:04:15.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wasn't going to be silent anymore.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:16.74,0:04:18.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,With my family's blessing,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:18.72,0:04:20.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would share our story
Dialogue: 0,0:04:20.48,0:04:23.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in hopes of sparking\Na national conversation.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:24.14,0:04:27.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A friend, Kelly Pierre-Louis, said,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:27.16,0:04:29.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Being strong is killing us."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:30.50,0:04:31.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She's right.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.29,0:04:36.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have got to retire\Nthose tired, old narratives
Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.33,0:04:38.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of the strong Black woman
Dialogue: 0,0:04:38.02,0:04:40.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the super-masculine Black man,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.04,0:04:42.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who, no matter how many times\Nthey get knocked down,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:42.99,0:04:45.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just shake it off and soldier on.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:45.83,0:04:49.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Having feelings isn't a sign of weakness.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:50.52,0:04:53.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Feelings mean we're human,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.00,0:04:55.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when we deny our humanity,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:55.04,0:04:57.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it leaves us feeling empty inside,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:57.18,0:05:00.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,searching for ways to self-medicate\Nin order to fill the void.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:00.62,0:05:03.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My drug was high achievement.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:04.37,0:05:07.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These days I share my story openly,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:07.77,0:05:10.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I ask others to share theirs, too.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:10.45,0:05:11.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I believe that's what it takes
Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.92,0:05:14.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to help people who may\Nbe suffering in silence
Dialogue: 0,0:05:14.50,0:05:16.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to know that they are not alone,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.89,0:05:18.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and to know that with help,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:18.44,0:05:19.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they can heal.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:20.19,0:05:21.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I still have my struggles,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:21.99,0:05:24.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,particularly with the anxiety,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.30,0:05:25.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I'm able to manage it
Dialogue: 0,0:05:25.93,0:05:30.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,through daily mediation,\Nyoga and a relatively healthy diet.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:31.14,0:05:32.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:32.14,0:05:34.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If I feel like things\Nare starting to spiral,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.26,0:05:36.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I make an appointment\Nto see my therapist:
Dialogue: 0,0:05:36.33,0:05:39.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a dynamic Black woman named Dawn Armstrong
Dialogue: 0,0:05:39.42,0:05:41.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who has a great sense of humor
Dialogue: 0,0:05:41.41,0:05:43.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and a familiarity that I find comforting.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:45.25,0:05:50.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I will always regret that I couldn't\Nbe there for my nephew,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:50.27,0:05:52.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but my sincerest hope
Dialogue: 0,0:05:52.78,0:05:55.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that I can inspire others\Nwith the lesson that I've learned.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:59.33,0:06:01.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Life is beautiful.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:02.65,0:06:04.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sometimes it's messy,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:04.37,0:06:07.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it's always unpredictable,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:07.03,0:06:08.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it will all be OK
Dialogue: 0,0:06:08.26,0:06:10.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when you have your support system\Nto help you through it.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:11.51,0:06:13.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I hope that if your burden gets too heavy,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:13.96,0:06:15.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you'll ask for a hand, too.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:15.74,0:06:16.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:16.75,0:06:18.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)