[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:04.38,0:00:09.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FIFA. The organisation that sounds the most like the name of a purse dog
Dialogue: 0,0:00:09.98,0:00:13.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's not Fi-Fi, it's FI-FA!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.94,0:00:18.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You may remember last year we examined what an appaling organisation FIFA is.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.77,0:00:21.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Treating countries that host the world cup like cash-machines
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.19,0:00:23.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,practically imposing their own rule of law
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.59,0:00:28.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,generating billions of dollars and yet somehow remaining a non-profit.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.16,0:00:32.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now despite being almost the dictionary-definition of corruption
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.26,0:00:35.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they've escaped any significant prosecution for decades.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.44,0:00:38.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But that all ended on wednesday.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.15,0:00:41.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"High-ranking officials from FIFA - the sports governing body -
Dialogue: 0,0:00:41.84,0:00:44.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,arrested in an overnight raid in Switzerland.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.21,0:00:47.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The result of a sweeping FBI investigation."
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.16,0:00:49.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know what I'm more surprised by
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.54,0:00:51.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That FIFA officials were actually arrested
Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.65,0:00:53.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or that America was behind it.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.96,0:00:57.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It took the country that cares the least about football
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.60,0:00:59.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to bring down the people who've been ruining it.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:59.93,0:01:02.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's.. that's like finding out that Ke$ha
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.66,0:01:05.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,arrested a group of bankers involved in commodities fraud.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.70,0:01:11.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wow Ke$ha, I actually did not think this was an interest of yours.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.37,0:01:15.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, you've been undeniably effective. Tenacious prosecution, K!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.08,0:01:19.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's not just the fact of the arrests
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.60,0:01:20.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that was spectacular
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.83,0:01:22.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's how they were carried out.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.23,0:01:24.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"We saw several of those FIFA officials
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.74,0:01:26.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,led from the hotel.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.56,0:01:29.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think it was the hotel staff trying to protect
Dialogue: 0,0:01:29.34,0:01:31.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,their appearance if not their dignity
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.74,0:01:33.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with white hotel sheets."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.73,0:01:37.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh. That is perfect because hotel sheets
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.68,0:01:39.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are very much like FIFA officials.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.64,0:01:41.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They really should be clean
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.47,0:01:43.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but they're actually unspeakably filthy
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.48,0:01:45.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and deep down everybody knows that.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.63,0:01:48.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Essentially the US government
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.53,0:01:50.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,has accused FIFA officials of soliciting
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.35,0:01:53.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,$150M in bribes and kickbacks
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.62,0:01:56.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in forms ranging from cash in a briefcase
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.23,0:01:59.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to an expensive painting which to be fair
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.12,0:02:03.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is unexpectedly classy corruption for sports executives.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.34,0:02:05.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because if you wanted to bribe Roger Goodell
Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.87,0:02:08.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all you'd really need is a cardboard-box
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.15,0:02:10.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,filled with old playboys.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.67,0:02:13.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Apparently the big breakthrough
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.05,0:02:15.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,came when the IRS caught Chuck Blazer.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.63,0:02:17.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A corrupt American FIFA official
Dialogue: 0,0:02:17.89,0:02:19.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and actual bad santa.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.77,0:02:24.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For many years Blazer didn't even file a tax return
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.88,0:02:26.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which was a little suspicious
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.58,0:02:28.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,considering the lifestyle he lived.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.35,0:02:31.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"His criminal activity, finance and opulent lifestyle
Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.56,0:02:34.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that included a luxury appartement in New York's Trump Tower
Dialogue: 0,0:02:34.86,0:02:37.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for the use of his cats."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.17,0:02:40.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,WOOOW! None of us
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.76,0:02:43.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,know what aloof really means
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.17,0:02:45.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,until we meet a cat that has
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.23,0:02:47.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,his own appartement in Trump Tower.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:47.08,0:02:49.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He probably doesn't even lick himself
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.17,0:02:51.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he just uses the on-site dry cleaning.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.36,0:02:56.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now Blazer became an FBI informant
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.13,0:02:57.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and with his help the US government
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.77,0:03:01.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,managed to produce a 164 page indictment
Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.46,0:03:03.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which I genuinly recommend you read
Dialogue: 0,0:03:03.90,0:03:05.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because it's amazing!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:05.52,0:03:07.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let me give you just a taste.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.27,0:03:10.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For instance: It alleges that former FIFA vice president
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.07,0:03:12.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Jack Warner tried to help buy votes
Dialogue: 0,0:03:12.34,0:03:15.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with envelopes containing $40K in cash.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.48,0:03:17.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when someone objected, he said:
Dialogue: 0,0:03:17.49,0:03:20.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"If you're pious, open a church, friends.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.14,0:03:22.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Our business is our business."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.15,0:03:23.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Which is not just awful
Dialogue: 0,0:03:23.86,0:03:25.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's factually incorrect!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.67,0:03:28.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because opening a church is a fantastic way
Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.86,0:03:30.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to make a shit-ton of money.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.56,0:03:31.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's just a fact!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.70,0:03:35.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if you need any more proof
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.05,0:03:37.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that Jack Warner could not give
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.22,0:03:39.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,less of a fuck, listen to this:
Dialogue: 0,0:03:39.99,0:03:42.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,After he was arrested, he left jail
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.29,0:03:44.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in an ambulance claiming exhaustion.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.29,0:03:46.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Exhaustion that he then recovered from
Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.76,0:03:48.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,miraculously quickly.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:48.38,0:03:50.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Hours after he was released from jail
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.26,0:03:52.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the former FIFA exec turned politician
Dialogue: 0,0:03:52.60,0:03:54.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was defiant as he adressed a rally."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.87,0:03:58.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"♪ Every little thing's gonna be alright ♪"
Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.63,0:04:03.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,THAT is cocky. Denying any involvement
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.92,0:04:06.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,while singing 'every little thing's gonna be alright'
Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.80,0:04:09.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As songs go, that's a little on the nose.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.44,0:04:11.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I guess we're just lucky that he didn't go with
Dialogue: 0,0:04:11.36,0:04:13.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Got your Money' by Ol' Dirty Bastard.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.76,0:04:16.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Which come to think of it are three words
Dialogue: 0,0:04:16.60,0:04:18.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that describe Jack Warner perfectly.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:18.85,0:04:21.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the cherry on top of all of this
Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.68,0:04:23.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is a video Jack Warner released just today
Dialogue: 0,0:04:23.78,0:04:26.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where he suggested that this was all
Dialogue: 0,0:04:26.36,0:04:28.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a conspiracy, bringing hard proof
Dialogue: 0,0:04:28.13,0:04:30.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the form of a newspaper article
Dialogue: 0,0:04:30.18,0:04:32.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,stating that FIFA was trying to placate the US
Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.47,0:04:34.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by giving them an extra world cup this year:
Dialogue: 0,0:04:34.70,0:04:40.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"FIFA has frantically announced 2015
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.79,0:04:47.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this year.... an olympic final in the world cup
Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.81,0:04:51.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,begin May 27th. If the FIFA is so bad
Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.45,0:04:54.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,why is it the USA wants to keep the FIFA WC?"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:54.57,0:04:56.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And let's be fair, he's right
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.87,0:04:58.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FIFA giving the US an extra world cup
Dialogue: 0,0:04:58.78,0:05:01.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is comically ridiculous. It's the sort of thing
Dialogue: 0,0:05:01.01,0:05:03.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you'd usually see in an 'Onion'-article
Dialogue: 0,0:05:03.64,0:05:06.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which it turns out was exactly
Dialogue: 0,0:05:06.02,0:05:07.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what he was holding up there.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:07.98,0:05:11.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it says something.. it says something
Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.11,0:05:14.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about how corrupt FIFA is
Dialogue: 0,0:05:14.33,0:05:16.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that one of their ex-vice presidents
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.78,0:05:18.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,could look at that story and think
Dialogue: 0,0:05:18.35,0:05:21.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Yeah, that sounds like something they might do.'
Dialogue: 0,0:05:21.65,0:05:24.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But maybe the most remarkable thing
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.73,0:05:26.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about all of the charges is
Dialogue: 0,0:05:26.25,0:05:28.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that they didn't touch Sepp Blatter
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.28,0:05:29.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who's been president of FIFA
Dialogue: 0,0:05:29.68,0:05:31.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for the last 17 years.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:31.06,0:05:32.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now on his watch the world cup
Dialogue: 0,0:05:32.79,0:05:34.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,has left a trail of devastation.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.100,0:05:37.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just last year Brazil spent billions of dollars
Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.72,0:05:39.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on massive new stadiums
Dialogue: 0,0:05:39.44,0:05:40.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to host the World Cup.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.63,0:05:43.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Stadiums which have met a predictable fate:
Dialogue: 0,0:05:43.44,0:05:45.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"These days there's very little football
Dialogue: 0,0:05:45.67,0:05:49.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,being played at the world's 2nd most expensive stadium.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:49.14,0:05:51.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In fact it mostly stays empty.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:51.20,0:05:53.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,After hosting less than a handful of matches
Dialogue: 0,0:05:53.48,0:05:54.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,during last years World Cup
Dialogue: 0,0:05:54.83,0:05:56.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's never been filled again.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:56.36,0:05:59.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Today it serves mainly as a parking lot
Dialogue: 0,0:05:59.73,0:06:01.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for these buses."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:01.53,0:06:03.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have to give them credit
Dialogue: 0,0:06:03.54,0:06:05.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FIFA literally went into Brazil
Dialogue: 0,0:06:05.48,0:06:08.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,paved paradise and put up a parking lot.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:08.66,0:06:12.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But that is just a drop in the ocean
Dialogue: 0,0:06:12.58,0:06:14.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of what has happened on Blatter's watch.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:14.68,0:06:16.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just look at what's gonna happen next Saturday
Dialogue: 0,0:06:16.78,0:06:18.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when the Women's World Cup starts.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:18.96,0:06:20.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Blatter has previously suggested
Dialogue: 0,0:06:20.46,0:06:21.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,raising the popularity of women's soccer
Dialogue: 0,0:06:21.93,0:06:23.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by saying: 'They could, for example
Dialogue: 0,0:06:23.87,0:06:26.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have tighter shorts. Female players are pretty.'
Dialogue: 0,0:06:26.92,0:06:30.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it is rare to find a non-fired boss
Dialogue: 0,0:06:30.00,0:06:32.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who will openly say: 'I would like
Dialogue: 0,0:06:32.40,0:06:33.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to make it easier for me
Dialogue: 0,0:06:33.43,0:06:35.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to masturbate to my employees.'
Dialogue: 0,0:06:35.15,0:06:37.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And as you'll see next week
Dialogue: 0,0:06:37.52,0:06:40.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that is pretty much the full extent of Blatter's care
Dialogue: 0,0:06:40.44,0:06:42.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for female players' legs.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:42.36,0:06:43.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Every game will be played
Dialogue: 0,0:06:43.99,0:06:45.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- for the first time in history -
Dialogue: 0,0:06:45.49,0:06:46.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on artificial turf.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:46.100,0:06:50.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Many US team members are livid.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:50.03,0:06:51.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'There is a gender inequality issue.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:51.75,0:06:54.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nooo chance would the men ever play
Dialogue: 0,0:06:54.07,0:06:55.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a World Cup on artificial turf.'
Dialogue: 0,0:06:55.53,0:06:57.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Leroux recently posted pictures
Dialogue: 0,0:06:57.06,0:06:59.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of skin burns she says were caused by turf."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:59.84,0:07:03.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Holy shit. The last time an athlete's legs
Dialogue: 0,0:07:03.89,0:07:05.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,were beaten up that badly in advance
Dialogue: 0,0:07:05.66,0:07:07.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of a major competition it was because
Dialogue: 0,0:07:07.43,0:07:09.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tonya Harding was unwilling to settle for silver.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:09.82,0:07:14.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But no decision Blatter has overseen
Dialogue: 0,0:07:14.09,0:07:16.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is more questionable than the 2022 WC
Dialogue: 0,0:07:16.92,0:07:18.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,being awarded to Qatar.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:18.75,0:07:20.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because not only will the conditions
Dialogue: 0,0:07:20.30,0:07:21.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,be terrible to play in
Dialogue: 0,0:07:21.56,0:07:23.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but the number of migrant workers
Dialogue: 0,0:07:23.32,0:07:24.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that have died in Qatar
Dialogue: 0,0:07:24.67,0:07:25.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,since the Cup was announced
Dialogue: 0,0:07:25.78,0:07:27.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,has been staggering.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:27.49,0:07:30.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Now the numbers are difficult to pin down
Dialogue: 0,0:07:30.65,0:07:32.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but a report by the international
Dialogue: 0,0:07:32.06,0:07:33.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Trade Union Confederation
Dialogue: 0,0:07:33.56,0:07:37.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for example has estimated 1,200 deaths so far
Dialogue: 0,0:07:37.62,0:07:42.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with up to 4,000 additional worker deaths by 2022."
Dialogue: 0,0:07:42.87,0:07:46.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now even if all those are not directly
Dialogue: 0,0:07:46.52,0:07:48.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,related to the World Cup, those are still
Dialogue: 0,0:07:48.32,0:07:50.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,natural disaster numbers.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:50.38,0:07:52.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Weather services should start issuing
Dialogue: 0,0:07:52.78,0:07:55.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FIFA warnings: 'A stadium is being planned
Dialogue: 0,0:07:55.78,0:07:58.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in your area. Evacuate immediately!'
Dialogue: 0,0:07:58.40,0:08:00.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you would think all this
Dialogue: 0,0:08:00.91,0:08:02.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,might cost Sepp Blatter his job
Dialogue: 0,0:08:02.90,0:08:05.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and on friday he was actually up for re-election
Dialogue: 0,0:08:05.05,0:08:07.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as FIFA's president and offered
Dialogue: 0,0:08:07.03,0:08:09.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a pretty terrible defence for himself.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:09.47,0:08:14.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I know many people hold me
Dialogue: 0,0:08:14.09,0:08:16.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ultimately responsible for the actions
Dialogue: 0,0:08:16.07,0:08:20.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and reputation of the global football community
Dialogue: 0,0:08:20.49,0:08:26.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[...] we or I cannot monitor everyone
Dialogue: 0,0:08:26.12,0:08:27.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all of the time."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:27.59,0:08:31.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,THAT is weak! You are basically
Dialogue: 0,0:08:31.94,0:08:33.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Charles Manson saying:
Dialogue: 0,0:08:33.36,0:08:34.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Listen, I've got a big family.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:34.63,0:08:35.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't now what squeaky
Dialogue: 0,0:08:35.77,0:08:37.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,get's up to half the time.'
Dialogue: 0,0:08:37.47,0:08:40.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And by this point, having learned
Dialogue: 0,0:08:40.40,0:08:42.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what you know about FIFA
Dialogue: 0,0:08:42.10,0:08:43.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you have no right to be surprised
Dialogue: 0,0:08:43.71,0:08:45.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by the result of friday's election.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:45.88,0:08:47.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"With all eyes on FIFA,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:47.91,0:08:49.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the most powerful man in football,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:49.78,0:08:52.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sepp Blatter has won a fifth term
Dialogue: 0,0:08:52.22,0:08:54.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as president of that organisation."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:54.16,0:08:56.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,COME ON. He presided over
Dialogue: 0,0:08:56.96,0:08:59.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the worst fiasco in their history.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:59.10,0:09:01.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's like a Sony executive greenlighting
Dialogue: 0,0:09:01.30,0:09:04.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a sequel in the middle of watching 'ALOHA'
Dialogue: 0,0:09:04.20,0:09:07.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'This is absolutely terrible and
Dialogue: 0,0:09:07.41,0:09:09.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I need to make sure there's more of it.'
Dialogue: 0,0:09:09.02,0:09:14.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We'll call it 'ALOHA 2 - This time we mean the other meaning'
Dialogue: 0,0:09:14.13,0:09:19.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Blatter's reelection was absolutely
Dialogue: 0,0:09:19.35,0:09:21.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a foregone conclusion.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:21.46,0:09:23.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everyone knew this was coming.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:23.29,0:09:24.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I can explain why.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:24.79,0:09:27.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All 209 members in FIFA
Dialogue: 0,0:09:27.05,0:09:29.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,get a single vote for president.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:29.14,0:09:30.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And a lot of those smaller members
Dialogue: 0,0:09:30.43,0:09:32.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have a financial interest in keeping
Dialogue: 0,0:09:32.35,0:09:34.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,things exactly as they are.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:34.14,0:09:37.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"All share equally the profits from the World Cup
Dialogue: 0,0:09:37.15,0:09:40.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,regardless of size or soccer prowess.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:40.95,0:09:43.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Liechtenstein get's as much money as Germany,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:43.60,0:09:46.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Andorra get's as much money as Spain
Dialogue: 0,0:09:46.42,0:09:48.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and Montserrat get's as much money as the US.' "
Dialogue: 0,0:09:48.92,0:09:53.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's right, the US gets the same share as Montserrat.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:53.60,0:09:55.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Which A isn't even a country,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:55.71,0:09:59.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and B has a population of less than 6,000.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:59.00,0:10:01.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So America, a country with a population
Dialogue: 0,0:10:01.64,0:10:04.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of 320,000,000 gets just as much
Dialogue: 0,0:10:04.51,0:10:06.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as an island with the headcount matching that
Dialogue: 0,0:10:06.78,0:10:09.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of a slightly overbooked Carribean cruise.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:09.26,0:10:12.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's why under FIFA's system
Dialogue: 0,0:10:12.34,0:10:14.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,leadership never changes.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:14.45,0:10:16.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Their elections are such a joke
Dialogue: 0,0:10:16.31,0:10:19.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that 4 years ago Blatter ran unopposed.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:19.64,0:10:23.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This was the actual ballot paper from that year.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:23.76,0:10:25.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they should at least have added
Dialogue: 0,0:10:25.10,0:10:26.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a second box, so your options were
Dialogue: 0,0:10:26.92,0:10:29.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Vote Blatter' or 'Go fuck yourself'
Dialogue: 0,0:10:29.30,0:10:33.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the problem is all the arrests in the world
Dialogue: 0,0:10:33.37,0:10:35.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are gonna change nothing
Dialogue: 0,0:10:35.06,0:10:37.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as long as Blatter is still there.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:37.14,0:10:39.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because to truly kill a snake
Dialogue: 0,0:10:39.88,0:10:41.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you must cut of its head
Dialogue: 0,0:10:41.47,0:10:43.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or in this case, its arsehole!
Dialogue: 0,0:10:43.40,0:10:47.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But if America keeps driving this investigation.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:47.34,0:10:48.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- This is important -
Dialogue: 0,0:10:48.79,0:10:52.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If America keeps driving this investigation
Dialogue: 0,0:10:52.40,0:10:54.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and actually finds something to indict him
Dialogue: 0,0:10:54.30,0:10:56.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't think you understand how much
Dialogue: 0,0:10:56.97,0:10:59.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that would mean to everyone on earth.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:59.14,0:11:01.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The whole worlds opinion of America
Dialogue: 0,0:11:01.55,0:11:04.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would change overnight.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:04.06,0:11:06.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let me put this in terms you might understand:
Dialogue: 0,0:11:06.04,0:11:08.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If the Dutch somehow found a reason
Dialogue: 0,0:11:08.20,0:11:10.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to extradite and lock up Donald Trump
Dialogue: 0,0:11:10.44,0:11:12.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you would think: 'Holy shit
Dialogue: 0,0:11:12.31,0:11:16.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the Dutch are awesome. The Dutch are am...
Dialogue: 0,0:11:16.04,0:11:17.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What a country!'
Dialogue: 0,0:11:17.73,0:11:20.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That is what is on the table for you, America.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:20.07,0:11:22.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if you won't do it
Dialogue: 0,0:11:22.46,0:11:24.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the last hope to get rid of him
Dialogue: 0,0:11:24.78,0:11:26.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is in the hands of the only group
Dialogue: 0,0:11:26.35,0:11:27.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even more powerful than
Dialogue: 0,0:11:27.62,0:11:29.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,World governments.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:29.20,0:11:31.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Right now he's being backed because the money
Dialogue: 0,0:11:31.02,0:11:32.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is still flowing in. The second Nike says goodbye
Dialogue: 0,0:11:32.86,0:11:34.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or the second VISA says goodbye
Dialogue: 0,0:11:34.24,0:11:36.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or the second Adidas or Coca Cola or Budweiser!?
Dialogue: 0,0:11:36.72,0:11:39.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I guarantee you, the heads will not have
Dialogue: 0,0:11:39.68,0:11:41.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the support they currently enjoy."
Dialogue: 0,0:11:41.27,0:11:42.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Exactly. Barring an indictment
Dialogue: 0,0:11:42.98,0:11:44.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the only people with the power
Dialogue: 0,0:11:44.72,0:11:46.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to get rid of Sepp Blatter are
Dialogue: 0,0:11:46.11,0:11:47.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FIFA's sponsors. These companies.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:47.48,0:11:50.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I would like to make a plea to them tonight:
Dialogue: 0,0:11:50.74,0:11:54.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Please make Sepp Blatter go away.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:54.51,0:11:56.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I will do anything.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:56.48,0:11:59.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Adidas. I will wear one of your ugly shoes.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:59.21,0:12:02.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One of these shoes! That make me look
Dialogue: 0,0:12:02.71,0:12:05.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like the greek god of aspiring D-Days.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:05.88,0:12:09.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,McDonalds. I will take a bite out of
Dialogue: 0,0:12:09.37,0:12:11.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,every item on your $1 menu
Dialogue: 0,0:12:11.18,0:12:13.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which tastes like normal food
Dialogue: 0,0:12:13.46,0:12:15.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that was cursed by a vindictive wizard.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:15.58,0:12:19.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I will even make the ultimate sacrifice.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:19.23,0:12:22.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Budweiser. If you pull your support
Dialogue: 0,0:12:22.51,0:12:24.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and help get rid of Blatter
Dialogue: 0,0:12:24.28,0:12:26.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I will put my mouth where my mouth is
Dialogue: 0,0:12:26.52,0:12:30.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I will personally drink one of your disgusting items.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:30.07,0:12:33.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm serious. It can be a Bud light
Dialogue: 0,0:12:33.06,0:12:36.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I will even drink a Bud light lime.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:36.16,0:12:40.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Despite the fact that all the lime in the world
Dialogue: 0,0:12:40.27,0:12:41.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,cannot disguise the fact
Dialogue: 0,0:12:41.64,0:12:43.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that this tastes like a puddle
Dialogue: 0,0:12:43.07,0:12:45.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,beneath a Long John Silver's dumpster.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:45.23,0:12:48.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I will do it. I will drink one
Dialogue: 0,0:12:48.16,0:12:51.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,maintaining eye contact with the camera
Dialogue: 0,0:12:51.06,0:12:52.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I will say it was delicious
Dialogue: 0,0:12:52.67,0:12:55.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because if you get rid of the Swiss demon
Dialogue: 0,0:12:55.47,0:12:57.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who has ruined the sport I love
Dialogue: 0,0:12:57.63,0:13:01.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this stuff will taste like fucking champagne!