[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.91,0:00:03.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah! (grunts)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:03.05,0:00:04.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Ian) Shut up!!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:05.26,0:00:08.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You just gotta hold your sword up\Nto build your power energy.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.64,0:00:10.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(narrator) Hey, stupid cosplayer!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.46,0:00:12.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm not stupid!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.22,0:00:13.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I am.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.21,0:00:16.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(narrator) Are you tired of being losers\Nwithout a real Master Sword?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:16.97,0:00:19.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A real Master Sword exists?!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.19,0:00:21.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(narrator) That's right!\NAnd here it is!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.23,0:00:24.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(screaming)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:24.44,0:00:26.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(moaning)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:26.13,0:00:27.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cool!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.53,0:00:29.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ If you want your life to get better ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.30,0:00:30.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ In a blink ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.46,0:00:32.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ Use the Master Sword ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.02,0:00:33.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ Just like Link ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.28,0:00:35.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Can't wait to show this to my mom.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.30,0:00:38.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(narrator) Master Sword can help you\Nwith all sorts of things.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.25,0:00:40.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now you can borrow money,\Njust like Link!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.78,0:00:42.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sorry, mom, but I gotta do this.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.85,0:00:43.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do what?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.88,0:00:44.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(screams)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.43,0:00:47.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(porcelain shatters)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.30,0:00:49.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ooh, sweet! 25 cents.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.63,0:00:52.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(narrator) Sew your girly tights,\Njust like Link!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.73,0:00:54.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sew, sew, sew, sew!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.64,0:00:56.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(narrator) Stock Broker,\Njust like Link!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.78,0:00:58.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sell, sell, sell!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:59.10,0:01:01.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Stop right there, cosplayer!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.22,0:01:01.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm sorry!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.98,0:01:05.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm just trying to rush to the hospital\Nto fix this stab wound.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.66,0:01:06.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't care.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.59,0:01:08.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(narrator) Get out of at ticket,\Njust like Link!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.30,0:01:11.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What-What are you doing?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.26,0:01:12.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No! (grunts)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.57,0:01:17.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Justice served. Hurumph!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.58,0:01:19.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(narrator) Um...yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.42,0:01:22.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can kill prostitutes,\Njust like Link!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.43,0:01:23.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Excuse me, just one moment.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.74,0:01:27.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Uh, why do you assume \Nall prostitutes are women?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.85,0:01:29.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's so sexist.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:29.09,0:01:31.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There are plenty \Nof male prostitutes out there.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.24,0:01:33.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(narrator) Let's just be \Npolitically correct and say
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.41,0:01:36.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can kill people that you \Nsometimes pay for sexual favors
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.24,0:01:38.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that are sometimes men,\Njust like Link!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.80,0:01:42.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have a penis!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.14,0:01:43.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All right!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.45,0:01:45.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(narrator) You don't have to take \Nmy word for it, though.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.64,0:01:47.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Listen to all these!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.33,0:01:49.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hey, wake up!\NAre you still with me?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.01,0:01:54.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can see the white light.\NI'm coming, grandma.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.60,0:01:58.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(narrator) Great!\NNow listen to these satisfied customers.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.31,0:02:01.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't understand why people \Ndon't realize how much better
Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.06,0:02:03.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Xbox games are--\N- (narrator) This is the best money
Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.65,0:02:07.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I ever spent.\NNow I can be just like Link.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.61,0:02:09.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you, Master Sword!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:09.50,0:02:12.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This sword is great!\NHow do I get one of my own?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.51,0:02:14.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(narrator) Here! \NJust take this one.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.24,0:02:15.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(groans)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.52,0:02:17.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(whimpers) Seriously?!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.75,0:02:20.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sweet! Thanks.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.42,0:02:23.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Gimmie all your money\Nor I'll shoot ya
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.84,0:02:27.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and stick my finger in your belly button\Nso the situation gets really awkward.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.00,0:02:29.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(wind whistles)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.24,0:02:30.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What do I do now?!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.62,0:02:34.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You just gotta hold your sword up\Nto build your power energy!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:34.79,0:02:35.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Duh!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.89,0:02:38.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All right, here I go!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:38.31,0:02:40.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ (video game music) ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.73,0:02:43.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How come nothing's working?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.34,0:02:45.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(narrator) What?!\NIt's a fake replica sword
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.84,0:02:49.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from a video game!\NUgh, stupid cosplayer.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.65,0:02:51.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So it's not real?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.01,0:02:52.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- (gunshot)\N- Ugh!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.87,0:02:55.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What the f*ck?!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.32,0:02:58.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ If you want your life to get better ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.18,0:02:59.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ In a blink ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.39,0:03:00.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ Use the Master Sword ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.89,0:03:02.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ Just like Link ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:03:04.38,0:03:05.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Anthony) Hey, guys.\NIf you haven't already seen
Dialogue: 0,0:03:05.78,0:03:07.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the Honest Game Trailer \Nfor Super Smash Brothers,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.62,0:03:09.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you need to!\NClick the video on the right.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.42,0:03:10.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's awesome.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.49,0:03:13.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Honest Trailer guy) Enjoy the best\Nmulti-player experience since Flip Cup,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.49,0:03:16.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where you can beat your friends\Nand ruin your friendships at the same time!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:16.94,0:03:19.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Ian) Or if you wanna see deleted scenes\Nand bloopers from this video...
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.34,0:03:21.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sell, sell, sell!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:21.17,0:03:23.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why did I have to hit it so hard?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:23.12,0:03:25.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(narrator) Lose your job,\Njust like Link!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.51,0:03:26.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're fired.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:26.30,0:03:27.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,..click the box on the left.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.53,0:03:32.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(shrill voice) Click the subscribe button,\Njust like Link!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:32.26,0:03:33.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Ian) What is that accent?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.45,0:03:35.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Anthony) That's an Australian accent.\NIt's perfect.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.14,0:03:36.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Ian) Okay, it was pretty good.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:36.10,0:03:37.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Anthony) Thanks.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.00,0:03:37.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Captioned by Subtitle YouTube]