WEBVTT

00:00:00.506 --> 00:00:03.546
[ Music ]

00:00:04.046 --> 00:00:09.706
>> So, it was a month before my nineteenth
birthday and it was just your typical,

00:00:09.706 --> 00:00:14.306
run of the mill, getting drugged, dragged
back to the fraternity house date rape.

00:00:14.306 --> 00:00:22.116
The next thing I knew, I woke up and I was in
his bed with no clothes on and he got on top

00:00:22.116 --> 00:00:28.096
of me and rapped me and I started to say
no and then he put over to silence me.

00:00:28.336 --> 00:00:32.836
>> I was sexually assaulted by a stranger
while I was walking alone in my neighborhood.

00:00:32.836 --> 00:00:35.966
>> I was assaulted and robbed at
gunpoint in my own neighborhood.

00:00:35.966 --> 00:00:39.326
>> I was in an abusive relationship
for two years.

00:00:39.326 --> 00:00:44.846
It started out with verbal
assault and escalated to physical.

00:00:44.846 --> 00:00:50.136
He would take a knife and cuts the parts
of my body that he thought were too fat.

00:00:50.136 --> 00:00:55.046
>> I was sexually assaulted in high
school by an older woman that I knew.

00:00:55.046 --> 00:01:01.986
She had her friends hold me down by my
shoulders while she like peeled off my clothing

00:01:02.126 --> 00:01:05.486
and basically groped me wherever
she felt like it.

00:01:05.536 --> 00:01:08.046
>> I was assaulted right
outside the door to my home.

00:01:08.046 --> 00:01:11.096
Growing up as an athlete and
a physically strong woman,

00:01:11.096 --> 00:01:15.796
I thought that I might be physically
prepared for a situation like this,

00:01:15.796 --> 00:01:20.386
should it ever happen, but by
God, I was not mentally prepared

00:01:20.386 --> 00:01:22.106
for a weapon being put in my face.

00:01:22.296 --> 00:01:24.866
>> How do you build up your
feeling of self-worth?

00:01:24.866 --> 00:01:26.876
And it's been stripped from you in an instant.

00:01:26.876 --> 00:01:30.666
>> I didn't want to talk about it too much,
but it was a big thing happening in my life

00:01:30.666 --> 00:01:33.436
and some people just didn't even
want to be associated with me.

00:01:33.606 --> 00:01:37.976
Being treated like you're just
nothing really messes with you.

00:01:37.976 --> 00:01:40.546
It makes you think about things
in different perspective.

00:01:40.546 --> 00:01:46.386
>> When this happened to me and I decided to
open up to others about it, I was so surprised

00:01:46.386 --> 00:01:50.466
at how many of my friends and family
members had experienced assault

00:01:50.496 --> 00:01:52.696
but had never talked to anybody about it.

00:01:52.696 --> 00:01:55.786
>> For a long time, I was just afraid of people.

00:01:55.786 --> 00:02:00.116
>> I think it's necessary to speak about
these experiences, just to create awareness

00:02:00.356 --> 00:02:04.676
because there are so many people like
you who have experienced the same thing.

00:02:04.676 --> 00:02:08.515
>> Sexual assault attacks
your body in one instance.

00:02:08.515 --> 00:02:14.676
It really also attacks your feelings of
self-worth and that's a lasting repercussion

00:02:15.116 --> 00:02:17.636
that needs to be taken more seriously.

00:02:17.746 --> 00:02:23.896
>> I think because I'm a male survivor, a
lot of people invalidated my experience,

00:02:24.236 --> 00:02:27.156
as if like what happened
to me didn't really happen.

00:02:27.516 --> 00:02:32.466
So, I think for a long time, it was
hard like for even me to believe

00:02:32.466 --> 00:02:34.566
that what happened to me actually happened.

00:02:34.686 --> 00:02:38.356
It is so important to not
suppress what you've been through.

00:02:38.356 --> 00:02:45.606
If you don't process it, then you're basically
giving your assault permission to run your life.

00:02:45.606 --> 00:02:53.616
>> Everyone's first reaction is to ask why
you stayed and it's because I felt so ashamed

00:02:53.616 --> 00:02:57.416
and isolated and embarrassed because
no body likes to talk about it

00:02:57.416 --> 00:03:00.176
and if you bring it up, it
makes people uncomfortable.

00:03:00.546 --> 00:03:04.936
It took me about a year to be
able to look in the mirror again.

00:03:05.176 --> 00:03:07.526
There are more of us out there than you think.

00:03:07.656 --> 00:03:09.676
So, open up and reach out.

00:03:09.676 --> 00:03:13.356
>> I'm an assault survivor,
not a victim, a survivor.

00:03:13.356 --> 00:03:15.636
>> I'm an assault survivor, but I'm not a woman.

00:03:15.636 --> 00:03:18.656
>> I'm an assault survivor, but
I'm not going to let the actions

00:03:18.656 --> 00:03:20.886
of someone else dictate the rest of my life.

00:03:21.066 --> 00:03:22.936
>> But I am not any less of a man.

00:03:23.006 --> 00:03:25.166
>> But that doesn't mean
I am a weak little girl.

00:03:25.166 --> 00:03:26.476
>> But I am not afraid.

00:03:26.476 --> 00:03:29.176
>> I'm an assault survivor and I'm so much more.

00:03:29.176 --> 00:03:32.616
>> I'm an assault survivor
and I'm married with two kids.

00:03:32.616 --> 00:03:36.136
>> I'm an assault survivor
and it wasn't my fault.

00:03:36.606 --> 00:03:40.726
It was not my fault.

00:03:41.516 --> 00:03:53.710
[ Music ]