Sir!
Hello!
Sir!
We're looking for few things, you know?
For example heater or fridge.
You mean electric oven?
Oven, yes.
And fridges here?
You mean refrigerators, right?
Radiators!
Freezer!
You mean refrigerator with freezer compartment.
Oh!
What are you going to keep
in this domestic refrigeration appliance?
Offal of big-headed sellers.
We have a hard day.
You wanted to say afternoon, it's after 1p.m.
Yes.
Let's go, cos...
Let's go, yes, we'll go to some nicer seller.
Shop assistant!
I tried to be nice!
So which one? This?
Perfect, it's a great choice.
Yeah, for sure.
You know what,
how much does it cost?
200.
No, no, no, I can give 180.
No, it's already on sale. 200.
Sir, I'm telling you that I can give 180!
200, Sir.
Here you go.
180.
200
180 going once!
200.
180 going twice!
200.
180, sold!
200.
180...
Great, exactly!
You said it.
But I made a mistake.
First word counts.
And what?
Yeah?
Choose.
I don't know!
Which one?
This one or this one?
I like this one more.
So... baby, decide. Which one?
Tomuś, but this one is too expensive.
Kasia, but you spend most of your life in the kitchen.
Yeah...
Which one?
But I can choose?
Yes.
This is... look at those wonderful those...
So what?
This one.
I knew it.
What are you doing?
Sir!
Can I?
Tomek!
You chose, first word counts.
Sir!
I want this one, then.
No... but you said this one is better. This, this, this
this one you chose, this - 599.
Great one, great one...
Sir!
Tell me...
Internal DVD writer!
What are bits?
Kasia...
I want to know, ok?
Bits per second, velocity that defines the ability
to connect your computer to another computer
of course, through a modem.
Exactly how you say it! Even faster
cos they can communicate with 56 000 words/minute.
Forget about it!
There is a graphics card to it?
Yes but you'll need strong one, 64MB,
of course built-in subwoofer,
and wireless keyboard.
Shhhh!
What is a graphics card?
Everybody knows that!
What is graphics card?
How much does it cost?
Tomek!
Sir, maybe let's talk alone, without women,
cos it's a sensitive issue.
Graphics card...
Graphics card, called also... silicon...
Sir, I know what is silicon, and it's not a graphics card.
Miss...
Sir!
What types of answering machines do you have?
I'd like to know your preferences.
I mean for what would you like to use it.
Sir, I'd like this automatic secretary to work also as
fertilizer to the cactus garden of her mother,
I don't think I'll use her for painting, cos I guess
roller gives better results,
but you know, I think it'd be good...
if she just recorded messages.
Besides those things, do you have any other questions
about the technical requirements?
Yeah, I'd like her to be kinda..
36-24-36
Here you go, this type seems to be perfect, digital.
Do you have some older type?
Older type?
Rysiu, check in the warehouse!
Can she speak different languages? French?
Today we're following customers.
I noticed one person. Hello, miss, could you come here?
Yes, good morning.
Do you find me attractive?
Answer: yes or no.
Demoniacally!
What?
Demoniacally!
What does demoniacally mean?
Yes or no.
That it's just like... I like you demoniacally.
Question nr 2.
Could you do something with me?
Little, big, medium?
Very big. Something.
Very big.
Yes or no?
Yes.
Here.
Question nr 3.
Now.
Could I do something with you.
I don't know...
So answer is: yes.
Thank you.
Why are you such a dumbass?
What are you doing?
What are you reading?
Test.
And what do they say?
What do you have?
That I should synchronize my tongue work more.
What?
That's what I have.
But it's only for girls.
But I'm interpreting it, change she to he.
But it means completely something else.
Yes?
Yes.
Tomuś...
Tomek, do something.
What can I do, go to this cat and help it?
What can we do?
How long does it take?
Please!
No!
But please, pleeeaaaseee!
No.
But I need it, I'm dying.
Tomek, once, I won't ask for more, please!
But only once and that's all?
Yes.
I promise.
Quickly, ok?
And here? Please!
Please do it here!
Tomuś, Tomuś, please, here!
Shit, I grow spare tire.
What else would you like?
You eat snack after snack.
What are you talking about?
Yes, you have your hand in bowl of chips all day.
And those cookies? You ate whole box today.
And after evey sex you exhaust our fridge, so dude...
No, no, I'm going on a diet.
I have to lose around 17 pounds.
I'll look like before, young and beautiful.
No Tomuś, I like your tire, it's cute.
Really?
Yes.
I love you.
You want to go on a diet?
Yes.
You'll help me?
I will.
Give me this fatty.
No, Kasia, no no no.
Cos you arrange something, and I immediately think
of a bowl of chips.
How long did you last without sex?
16 years.
16 years?
Yes, since I was born, til my 16 birthday.
It's not what I mean, I mean when you started.
A week.
A week?
Yes.
Only a week?
Even when you were single?
Especially then.
Quite nice. You?
11 months.
Come on...
So you were doing something stupid.
Why stupid?
I just was sad after break-up. You know it very well.
And I decided to wait for someone that I'll love,
and it took me 11 months. Just like that.
I did a stupid thing...
You didn't wait for me?
I did... just more active.
Asshole.
Yes?
Oh, hi!
Great., you?
Yes, ok.
Yeah, it's a long time.
Your father.
Next week?
Fine...
Ok, you know, I'll ask him, I'll call him in a second.
Tomek, why are you like that, it's your father, he's inviting
us to his lot next week.
He doesn't call all year, I don't know, maybe if someone
was dead, but no, nothing...
Why are you like that?
No, I'm sure he wants me to help him, repair paling,
or something. Oh, no, he'd never ask me for help,
cos he thinks I'm an idiot.
He'll talk to you, wait a second, ok?
Please, talk to him!
Tomasz!
No, he never calls, he left me and my mother,
now he'll want to talk to me, he can beg me for
forgiveness, he won't get it anyway.
He's coming.
You know, now you have time to tell him it all.
Hello?
Hi dad.
Sure.
OK.
We'll drop in.
With a good grace.
Sure!
Bye!
You were so tough!
He knows I'm angry.
Yes.
How do you think, why do I want to go there?
I'll tell him everything when we go there.
Hello! Finally!
Hi dad!
Hi, hi...
That's for you.
Good morning.
You won't kiss me?
Still in love?
I'll tell you something.
When he was a kid, I was afraid he'll be homo.
He played with dolls.
You bought them yourself.
We're talking and my girlfriend should be here,
she's looking for a ball.
Diana!
You have someone new?
Sure.
But only one...
Oh, there she is!
Darling!
Diana, hey!
You catch it so nice!
Physical hygiene is the basis of men's health.
You know what?
We're thinking about baby with Kasia.
What?
Baby, a little person, you get it?
I do, but...
You have something against children?
No, of course not.
But in retrospect I can tell you that...
brats are nothing good.
I think that having a child was
the biggest mistake in my life.
Nice to hear it, dad.
This is life.
He's so sexy, strong, smart, has balls,
and just wants bum-bum.
Tomek...
bring more.
You know, age is in your head only.
It doesn't matter how old you are, just how old you think you are.
How old you look, right?
Yeah, they say it too.
I'm thinking...
look at them. Old Tomek looks much better than young one.
You think so?
Don't worry.
After 60 he'll be like his father.
I hope so.
I wish you that.
Diana, my doll, come sit on uncle Tomek's lap,
we'll make a little sailing lesson.
Where will we start?
Yeees... great, perfect.
And now let's place the mast!
I'll throw up.
What do you think about her?
In her own way she's kinda...
normal, highly developed, I mean.
Tomek, stop, tell me physically.
Such...
well-equipped.
It's a good word.
Could you stop staring at her equipment for a second?
I didn't, normally.
Maybe only 200 times.
Instinctively, right?
Oh God.
Where did he go?
How long have you been together, hm?
7,5 years already.
That's cool! Cos me and Tomasz have been together
3 months, 2 weeks and 1 day already.
That's nice, right?
Yes!
You're very accurate in the calculations.
I know, do you know that your father is
a man of my life?
My old man?
Yes!
Do you know what's the most exciting about him?
Intelligence!
You get it?
Yes, yes.
He has such a high IQ!
Yeah, he always appreciated it in women, too.
I don't get it.
I thought so.
I'll look for him. Bye!
Bye!
But dad, you're not wearing anything.
Sure I was naked.
You were walking like that without clothes?
What should I be ashamed of? My body?
But like that?!
Nudist beach is such a place,
that when you wear something everyone is staring at you!
So when you want to hide you have to be naked!
But you were actually exposing to this camera.
Wait, cos it's this, when we were already wasted,
and it's this black with moustache who was hitting on me!
But you know who it was?
No, I don't know him.
My honey is hot!
I don't know if we should watch it,
it's really intimate.
No, come on, it's not intimate at all.
We can show something if you want
Why not? I don't mind it.
No no no!
You want to see?
No.
Just no.
Maybe once in our life?
Kasia, I won't watch my father...
I like this mower.
I don't know...
Everything changed.
How are you, Tomek?
Fine... we bought with Kasia a new home,
Cool.
Yeah.
Really nice.
Not bad.
Ok.
Guys, why are you hiding there?
Kasia we're talking, just a men chat.
Oh, then I'm sorry!
Fine, it's ok!
I forgot...
what I wanted to say.
What I wanted to say?
Nevermind.
I like this mower.
It's awesome.
I like it.
Was it expensive?
Eh, not so much.