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00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:06,669
What if I said to you

2
00:00:07,058 --> 00:00:11,320
that the violent criminals
and sex offenders inside Taipei Prison

3
00:00:11,792 --> 00:00:13,927
are much better
at controlling their emotions

4
00:00:13,927 --> 00:00:16,428
than our university students?

5
00:00:17,036 --> 00:00:18,421
Would you believe me?

6
00:00:20,170 --> 00:00:21,824
Since I do psychological research,

7
00:00:21,824 --> 00:00:24,712
I often have the opportunity
to go to different places

8
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and get to know
different kinds of people.

9
00:00:26,957 --> 00:00:28,399
Over the past few years,

10
00:00:28,399 --> 00:00:30,901
in addition to working
with university students,

11
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I've also visited Taipei Prison often.

12
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What I just mentioned
is the result of our latest study.

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When we started,

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we were a little surprised too.

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Emotion. What is it exactly?

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Is it good or bad?

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Do you want to have them?

18
00:00:51,900 --> 00:00:54,549
I started working part time
when I was in high school.

19
00:00:54,549 --> 00:00:55,795
I was told very early on,

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00:00:55,795 --> 00:00:59,795
"When you come to work,
leave your emotions at the door."

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Then I learned what people meant
by the word "professional."

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A very important part of it
is to not have emotions.

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Not to get angry when you 
encounter someone unreasonable.

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Not to cry when you feel sad.

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That's in the workplace.

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At home, if you have a 
disagreement with your family,

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they might say to you,
"Don't be so emotional."

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Emotions: when you have them, it's like
you've become a second-class citizen.

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What you say is reasonable but useless.

30
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Now you might say,

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"That's just your generation.
Kids today are different.

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They have a well-rounded
training from a young age."

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Is that so?

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Early this year,
we started a research project

35
00:01:44,814 --> 00:01:48,423
to get elementary students to identify
their emotions and develop their EQ.

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In class we asked the children,

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"What is anger?

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Do you remember
the last time you were angry?"

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The children replied,

40
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"I don't know.

41
00:01:58,512 --> 00:02:01,400
I don't. Mom and Dad 
say I shouldn't get angry.

42
00:02:01,723 --> 00:02:04,121
Our teacher says it's bad to get angry."

43
00:02:04,486 --> 00:02:09,429
As we can see, nobody
seems to like having emotions.

44
00:02:09,934 --> 00:02:13,668
Why hasn't evolution
just gotten rid of them?

45
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How have they managed
to survive until today?

46
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There are many reasons.

47
00:02:18,015 --> 00:02:20,284
An important one is
that they can save lives.

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Maybe not as many lives 
as the previous speakers have,

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00:02:23,553 --> 00:02:25,235
but they can still save lives.

50
00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:26,240
(Laughter)

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00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:27,660
I once had a patient

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who was a successful
career woman on Wall Street.

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She first came to me hoping
to get to know herself better

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so she could develop her leadership skills
and become a better leader.

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She shared with me that when working
in a male-dominated environment,

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you can't reveal your 
weaknesses and frailties.

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After a long time working like this,
you learn to suppress your emotions.

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During the time I counseled her, 
she started having marital problems.

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Her relationship with her 
husband became unstable.

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One time during a fight,

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he picked up a glass from the table
and flung it at her.

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She quickly got out of the way.

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The glass hit the wall,

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00:03:05,928 --> 00:03:07,969
and there were
shards of glass everywhere.

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Afterwards, I asked her a question

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that all psychologists 
eventually ask their patients:

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"How did you feel?"

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00:03:16,793 --> 00:03:18,172
"How did you feel?"

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She said, "I felt angry.
How can he treat me like this?"

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I said, "What else?"

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She said "I felt hopeless.

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When I first married him,
he wasn't like this."

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Are there any emotions

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00:03:34,145 --> 00:03:36,425
that you think
you'd have in this situation,

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that she hadn't mentioned?

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00:03:39,745 --> 00:03:40,853
Fear.

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What happens when we're scared?

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We flee.

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What happens when we are angry?

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We attack the other person.

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If we can't correctly
identify our emotions,

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instead of running away in fear,

83
00:03:53,988 --> 00:03:56,922
we might think we're angry
and attack someone;

84
00:03:56,922 --> 00:03:59,459
this can lead to
very serious consequences.

85
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This woman had stifled

86
00:04:02,877 --> 00:04:06,179
and ran away from her emotions
and insecurities for so long

87
00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:08,542
that she had forgotten
what it is to feel fear.

88
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Her situation was urgent,

89
00:04:10,429 --> 00:04:12,541
and I couldn't teach her
in such a short time

90
00:04:12,541 --> 00:04:14,513
how to experience fear again.

91
00:04:14,513 --> 00:04:20,325
So I don't have the chance to reestablish
this kind of "circuit" in her brain.

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00:04:20,692 --> 00:04:23,886
This is a diagram of the brain,
the one you've just seen.

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When we experience fear,

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00:04:27,777 --> 00:04:30,726
the information
from the body's five senses -

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00:04:30,726 --> 00:04:33,214
what we see, 
what we hear and so on -

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00:04:33,232 --> 00:04:37,106
is passed from the thalamus

97
00:04:37,126 --> 00:04:40,930
to the sensory cortex for processing.

98
00:04:41,418 --> 00:04:44,090
The hippocampus,
which is in charge of memory,

99
00:04:44,090 --> 00:04:48,691
will download the relevant
information from the situation

100
00:04:49,101 --> 00:04:51,584
and send it to the amygdala
for comparison.

101
00:04:51,620 --> 00:04:55,556
The amygdala stores
our previous experiences of fear.

102
00:04:55,836 --> 00:04:58,781
It evaluates the level of danger
compared to past experiences

103
00:04:58,781 --> 00:05:04,565
and then orders the hypothalamus
to make an appropriate response.

104
00:05:04,567 --> 00:05:07,159
You can see that in this circuit,

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00:05:07,159 --> 00:05:11,716
past experiences and memories
play a very important role.

106
00:05:11,716 --> 00:05:16,250
But we didn't have enough time
to reestablish it.

107
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So we could only work
on awareness and recognition.

108
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I told this woman,
"The next time this happens,

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no matter how you feel,
you have to call 911 immediately."

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We went over it repeatedly,

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and in the end, there was a time
when they fought again.

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This time, her husband grabbed a knife.

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Afterwards, she told me 
she was angry at the time,

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she looked at him
and hesitated for a few seconds,

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but because of what we practiced,
she eventually called 911.

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Fortunately, the police
arrived within 7 minutes

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and tragedy was avoided.

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Emotions can direct our actions
and decide their consequences.

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Correctly identifying emotions 
can save your life.

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Of course, this is a more extreme example.

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On the less extreme side,

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our research keeps telling us
that our physical and mental health,

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our academic achievements
and job performance,

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00:06:17,346 --> 00:06:19,180
our leadership skills and creativity

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are all intimately related
to our emotions.

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00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:24,130
But what exactly are emotions?

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00:06:24,837 --> 00:06:27,926
In fact, they're a kind of feeling,

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our own subjective experience.

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They can be influenced by many things.

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Like our thoughts and opinions.

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00:06:35,551 --> 00:06:40,145
They can also lead to different actions,
like attacking someone.

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"I'm so angry because
I think you tricked me!

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So I'm going to hit you."

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00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:48,562
My thinking could be wrong
because I misunderstood you.

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My behavior could also be wrong,

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00:06:50,112 --> 00:06:52,800
because I shouldn't hit people
when I'm angry.

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00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:55,386
But feelings themselves
aren't right or wrong,

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correct or incorrect, good or bad.

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00:06:59,587 --> 00:07:02,371
In the United States,
you'll often hear people say,

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00:07:02,372 --> 00:07:05,461
"You shouldn't feel that way."

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00:07:05,706 --> 00:07:07,425
I hate it when people say that.

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00:07:07,425 --> 00:07:10,558
It's like if I said to you, "I'm so cold!"

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00:07:10,558 --> 00:07:13,206
And you replied, "Then stop feeling cold!"

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00:07:13,206 --> 00:07:14,387
(Laughter)

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00:07:15,242 --> 00:07:18,871
This is your own subjective experience.

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00:07:18,871 --> 00:07:21,511
Nobody has the right to tell you

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00:07:21,511 --> 00:07:25,058
that what you're experiencing
is right or wrong, good or bad.

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00:07:25,517 --> 00:07:26,977
At this point you might ask,

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00:07:26,985 --> 00:07:29,125
"Are you saying
that the criminals in prison

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00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:32,824
got there just because of
emotional problems?"

151
00:07:32,856 --> 00:07:37,286
I remember when I was in 
Taipei Prison evaluating them,

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00:07:37,309 --> 00:07:40,371
I asked them the same kind of question:

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00:07:40,389 --> 00:07:43,494
"How did you feel when you did this?"

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00:07:43,841 --> 00:07:48,098
They immediately responded,
"I know. Pissed off!"

155
00:07:49,378 --> 00:07:53,414
Then I asked, "So what could you do
to feel a little better?"

156
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They said, "I know!" right away.

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00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:57,753
"I felt much better 
after beating them up."

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00:07:57,753 --> 00:07:59,111
(Laughter)

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00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:02,721
On the other hand, when I ask
college students, "How do you feel?"

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00:08:03,035 --> 00:08:05,048
They say, "I don't know."

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00:08:05,048 --> 00:08:06,232
(Laughter)

162
00:08:06,252 --> 00:08:08,567
"Then, what could you do to feel better?"

163
00:08:08,575 --> 00:08:09,950
"I don't know ..."

164
00:08:09,950 --> 00:08:11,269
(Laughter)

165
00:08:11,809 --> 00:08:12,967
So it would appear

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00:08:12,967 --> 00:08:17,977
that the prison inmates are much better
at identifying and regulating emotions

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00:08:17,977 --> 00:08:20,728
than college students.

168
00:08:21,427 --> 00:08:25,137
The problem is how you
express your emotions.

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All feelings are okay.

170
00:08:27,872 --> 00:08:30,864
But even though it's okay to get angry,
I shouldn't hit people.

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00:08:30,864 --> 00:08:34,348
We taught elementary students
about EQ, emotional quotient.

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00:08:34,368 --> 00:08:36,556
How to correctly identify your emotions,

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00:08:36,556 --> 00:08:39,920
and the correct way of expressing them.

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00:08:40,633 --> 00:08:43,190
All feelings are okay.

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00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:47,494
That doesn't mean all perceptions are true
or that all behaviors are acceptable,

176
00:08:47,516 --> 00:08:49,235
but all feelings are okay.

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00:08:49,579 --> 00:08:52,912
Even though all feelings
are subjective experiences,

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there are a few fundamental emotions

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that every person will frequently have.

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00:08:59,569 --> 00:09:00,905
This goes across cultures.

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00:09:00,905 --> 00:09:02,656
Today, if you met someone

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00:09:02,681 --> 00:09:06,874
with a completely different 
background, culture, or language,

183
00:09:06,874 --> 00:09:10,272
you'd still be able to correctly identify
the six fundamental emotions

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00:09:10,272 --> 00:09:14,037
through their facial expressions.

185
00:09:14,242 --> 00:09:18,354
Other emotions can be hard to distinguish 
because of cultural differences,

186
00:09:18,429 --> 00:09:23,049
but everyone will frequently have 
these fundamental emotions.

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00:09:23,532 --> 00:09:25,640
Every time I talk about this in Chinese,

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00:09:25,641 --> 00:09:29,851
I'll hear people whisper the phrase
"Happiness, anger, sorrow, joy."

189
00:09:29,851 --> 00:09:30,905
(Laughter)

190
00:09:30,905 --> 00:09:32,722
Happiness and joy are the same thing!

191
00:09:33,706 --> 00:09:37,478
So since we speak Chinese,
we can guess those three.

192
00:09:37,478 --> 00:09:39,048
What about the other three?

193
00:09:40,060 --> 00:09:42,880
Surprise. Fear. Disgust.

194
00:09:43,371 --> 00:09:46,905
Everyone regularly
experiences these emotions.

195
00:09:46,905 --> 00:09:51,518
But the intensity and outward
expression of these emotions

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00:09:51,518 --> 00:09:55,116
will vary from person to person,
and also depending on the situation.

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00:09:55,511 --> 00:09:59,291
I once had a colleague
who was a developmental psychologist.

198
00:09:59,326 --> 00:10:01,800
He was also a very typical American.

199
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:05,400
He once asked me,
"Hey, how often do you cry?"

200
00:10:05,738 --> 00:10:09,659
I said, "One or two times a year.

201
00:10:09,659 --> 00:10:10,881
Maybe three."

202
00:10:11,175 --> 00:10:13,989
He said, "Ah! That's so unhealthy!"

203
00:10:13,989 --> 00:10:15,406
(Laughter)

204
00:10:15,731 --> 00:10:17,655
Obviously you don't think so, right?

205
00:10:17,679 --> 00:10:21,391
I said, "So how many times
do you cry in a year?"

206
00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:24,851
He said, "Three times I cry a little,
and five times I cry a lot."

207
00:10:24,851 --> 00:10:25,961
(Laughter)

208
00:10:26,005 --> 00:10:27,923
Is that healthier?

209
00:10:27,923 --> 00:10:32,882
Everyone gets sad, but that's not to say
that whenever someone feels sad,

210
00:10:32,901 --> 00:10:35,116
they necessarily will cry.

211
00:10:35,455 --> 00:10:38,653
The intensity and outward 
expression can differ.

212
00:10:39,232 --> 00:10:42,832
I just said, everyone has 
these emotions regularly.

213
00:10:43,056 --> 00:10:44,883
Looking at these six emotions,

214
00:10:44,892 --> 00:10:47,862
can you tell me, or rather tell yourself,

215
00:10:47,869 --> 00:10:50,610
when was the last time you had them?

216
00:10:51,337 --> 00:10:53,663
If you say, "I don't remember,"

217
00:10:53,699 --> 00:10:56,315
or you haven't felt them 
for a few months or a year,

218
00:10:56,315 --> 00:10:58,541
that doesn't mean you haven't had them;

219
00:10:58,580 --> 00:11:01,810
rather, it means you haven't noticed them.

220
00:11:01,810 --> 00:11:03,196
You ignored them,

221
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:06,248
or perhaps you suppressed them
or distracted yourself from them.

222
00:11:06,248 --> 00:11:09,653
If we look once more
at the six fundamental emotions,

223
00:11:09,690 --> 00:11:14,302
only one of them is positive: happiness.

224
00:11:14,311 --> 00:11:16,168
Surprise can be good or bad.

225
00:11:16,307 --> 00:11:19,039
The other four are all negative.

226
00:11:19,521 --> 00:11:22,028
Nobody likes negative emotions.

227
00:11:22,336 --> 00:11:23,759
They feel bad.

228
00:11:24,015 --> 00:11:28,217
But they still have
a reason for existence.

229
00:11:28,263 --> 00:11:30,893
They can warn you and let you know

230
00:11:30,893 --> 00:11:34,279
that if you don't make some changes,
there could be danger.

231
00:11:35,790 --> 00:11:37,567
It's just like pain.

232
00:11:37,567 --> 00:11:38,966
Nobody likes pain.

233
00:11:38,966 --> 00:11:41,921
But if I accidentally put my hand
on top of a hot stove

234
00:11:41,933 --> 00:11:45,183
and I didn't feel pain,
I wouldn't know to withdraw my hand.

235
00:11:45,521 --> 00:11:50,414
Recently, there has been a worrying trend 
in developed countries:

236
00:11:50,414 --> 00:11:54,981
people are trying very hard 
to avoid having negative emotions.

237
00:11:55,546 --> 00:11:58,765
Recently when I was in the United States,
I went into a drugstore.

238
00:11:59,140 --> 00:12:01,766
Their drugstores are a bit like 
Watsons here in Taiwan.

239
00:12:01,766 --> 00:12:05,272
They don't just sell medicine there, 
but also many daily necessities.

240
00:12:05,272 --> 00:12:08,506
I couldn't help but take 
this picture when I was there.

241
00:12:09,046 --> 00:12:11,181
(Laughter)

242
00:12:11,896 --> 00:12:16,751
There was an entire wall 
just selling pain killers, pain relief.

243
00:12:16,751 --> 00:12:21,587
What we call OTC, over the counter drugs,
which are very easy to obtain.

244
00:12:22,453 --> 00:12:27,075
If you look at sales data for OTC drugs,
you'll see that for the past few years,

245
00:12:27,075 --> 00:12:30,715
pain killers are always number one.

246
00:12:31,311 --> 00:12:34,348
The question is, Now what?

247
00:12:34,886 --> 00:12:38,279
After you've taken pain killers,
will the problem just go away?

248
00:12:38,829 --> 00:12:43,012
Maybe, but there's also a chance
that the problem will get worse.

249
00:12:43,810 --> 00:12:46,749
It's the same as the feeling of pain.

250
00:12:47,077 --> 00:12:50,269
I used to work as an EMT.

251
00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:55,145
That is, working in an ambulance as
an emergency medical technician.

252
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When we got to the site
of the emergency,

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no matter how much pain 
someone was experiencing,

254
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we couldn't give them 
any painkillers or anesthetics.

255
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If we did that, then they
wouldn't feel pain anymore,

256
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and we might make an error.

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We might delay giving first aid
or make a misdiagnosis.

258
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Negative emotions are the same way.

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If you try to escape from them
by ignoring or suppressing them,

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the problem won't just go away.

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00:13:21,166 --> 00:13:23,829
It might fester
until it becomes more serious.

262
00:13:23,872 --> 00:13:25,634
Recently in the news,

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00:13:25,634 --> 00:13:29,103
you hear about people
who explode without warning

264
00:13:29,103 --> 00:13:31,216
and commit some unspeakable action.

265
00:13:31,326 --> 00:13:33,458
One reason for this could be

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00:13:33,458 --> 00:13:37,743
that they've suppressed warnings
from their emotions.

267
00:13:39,056 --> 00:13:43,326
In fact, negative emotions
are very important.

268
00:13:44,194 --> 00:13:48,371
It's here to stay
and isn't going to be phased out.

269
00:13:48,378 --> 00:13:49,998
Since we don't have a choice,

270
00:13:50,020 --> 00:13:53,503
can we try to look at them
from a different perspective?

271
00:13:53,503 --> 00:13:55,241
They're actually not that scary.

272
00:13:55,958 --> 00:13:58,481
There are times
when they can be very intense,

273
00:13:58,481 --> 00:14:00,454
but they don't last forever.

274
00:14:00,902 --> 00:14:04,531
I once had a patient tell me,
"I'm trying really hard not to cry!"

275
00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:05,901
I asked, "Why?"

276
00:14:05,942 --> 00:14:08,731
He said, "I'm afraid if I cry,
I won't be able to stop."

277
00:14:08,745 --> 00:14:10,885
I said to him, "Don't worry.

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00:14:10,896 --> 00:14:12,295
That's impossible."

279
00:14:12,295 --> 00:14:13,468
(Laughter)

280
00:14:13,885 --> 00:14:16,838
Have you ever known or heard of someone

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00:14:16,839 --> 00:14:20,515
who started crying and never stopped?

282
00:14:21,303 --> 00:14:24,137
Emotions don't last forever.

283
00:14:24,140 --> 00:14:26,675
That's the nature of emotions.

284
00:14:26,675 --> 00:14:30,929
So while happiness won't last forever,
neither will sadness.

285
00:14:31,297 --> 00:14:38,123
Emotions make the finer things in life
more clear and distinct.

286
00:14:38,321 --> 00:14:41,505
For example, someone
who has never experienced loss

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00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:46,154
will have a limited understanding
of what it means to have something.

288
00:14:47,019 --> 00:14:50,970
We innately have so many
different kinds of emotions,

289
00:14:52,121 --> 00:14:54,664
just like the colors
on an artist's palette.

290
00:14:54,702 --> 00:14:57,673
If we use a little more color

291
00:14:58,049 --> 00:15:01,329
and attentively experience each emotion,

292
00:15:02,170 --> 00:15:04,776
maybe, just maybe,

293
00:15:04,776 --> 00:15:09,560
we can create a more colorful,
elegant, and enriching life.

294
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:10,625
Thank you.

295
00:15:10,625 --> 00:15:11,903
(Applause)