1
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay, let´s not kid ourselves here
2
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
relationships in greek mythology are almost unilaterally
3
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
really bad
4
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Zeus and Hera get some flag for Zeus´ non-stop adultering
5
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
with extremely unwilling mortals
6
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and Hera subsequently punishing the innocent mortals involved
7
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
but that´s got NOTHING on the story of their actual marriage
8
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
which I will not be recounting here
9
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
because it´s so far fron consensual
10
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
there is rally no way for me to be funny about it
11
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and "far from consensual" is a recurring theme in the mythos
12
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Zeus, Poseidon and Appollo especially tend to
13
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
default to kidnapping when a pretty mortal
14
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
catches their eye
15
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
sometimes combined with their whole devine shapeshifting dealio
16
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
to trick or coerce these mortals into banging
17
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
If the mortal is lucky
18
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
they survive the process
19
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and gain some superpowers or kick off a lineage of heroes
20
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
if not
21
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
they usually die horribly
22
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
SOme of Appollos famous lovers died tragically
23
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
after a fulfilling personal relationship with him
24
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
but most of them died tragically trying to outrun him
25
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That is straight up fYoshi sound and everybody knows it!
26
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Check almost any olympian gods list of lovers
27
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and you´ll usually find at least one character
28
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
who super did´nt wanna be on that list
29
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yes
30
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Even your favorites
31
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yes
32
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Even olympian softboy Dionysus
33
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And i will be the first to admit
34
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
that i gloss over a lot of this stuff
35
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
in my videos
36
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And i do that
37
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
because it makes me incredibly uncomfortable
38
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Can anybody blame me?!
39
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It´s not like i´m the only one!
40
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I grew up with a freakin picture book
41
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
that told me Zeus was a cool guy
42
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
who had cool kids that did cool stuff
43
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I watched a disney movie about these people!
44
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
i don´t have an easy time reconciling the fact that these shining heroic figures
45
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
that inspired incredible stories
46
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
were characterized as absolutely garbage
47
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
in several very key ways
48
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and when i do talk about that stuff
49
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
it feels disingenuous to talk about anything else
50
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
as if that first thing isn´t very much a deal-breaker
51
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
for finding the characters heroic or compelling
52
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Basically every modern retelling or
53
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
reimagining of greek mythology
54
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
heavily sanitizes the stories in one way or another
55
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The greek pantheon is given the same treatment
56
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
as most beloved problematic celebrities
57
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
We love it for the stories it gave us
58
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and we pretend not to notice the part
59
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
where it won´t stop assaulting underage fans
60
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Because that behaviour doesn´t fit the image
61
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
we have of it
62
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And that´s because we, as a collective audience,
63
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
are primed to think of gods as good guys
64
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And good guys don´t
65
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
do that kind of thing
66
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
that would make them
67
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Bad Guys
68
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And that is excactly why only one greek god
69
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
gets consistently held responsible for
70
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
these problematic behaviours
71
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
None other than Hades:
72
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Lord of the dead and unjustified satan analog
73
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
most of our cultural bises,
74
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
which come from a pop-culture understanding of
75
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
christianity
76
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
which is the same source for the
77
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"gods are necessarily a good thing"
78
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
our modern audience starts of
79
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
primed to hate this guy
80
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Lord of the Underworld?
81
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
We all know what that means!
82
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Cartooon-Lucifer, King of Hell,
83
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
token evil divinity, blatent bad guy!
84
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
easy -peasy
85
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And he kidnapped his wife ?!
86
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What an asshole!
87
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
No wonder nobody hangs out with this guy
88
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
MAn, what a jerk
89
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Anyway
90
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I just love Apollo!
91
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
He´s the hottest thing since hotness
92
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And isn´t it tragic how many of
93
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
his ture loves die
94
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
...wonder why that keeps happening
95
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
When retelling, or reinterpreting ancient stories
96
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
in a modern context
97
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
we almost always end up cherrypicking the parts that make the most sense
98
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
to our modern worldview and sensibilities
99
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and working around the parts that
100
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
suffer from the worst parts of the
101
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
culture clash
102
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ancient greek was pretty cool about a lot of stuff
103
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
but women for example
104
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
were not on that list
105
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
so from the modern perspective
106
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
when we look back at these original tellings
107
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
it´s very difficult to see Zeus doing his thing
108
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and conclude anithing other
109
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
than that the King of the gods
110
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
is an ??? serial r*pist
111
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
who leaves a trail of shadowed lives
112
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and bastard children in his wake
113
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and this pantheon is a f*cking nightmare
114
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But that is not the perspective
115
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
a contmeporary athenian would have had
116
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
it´s not the impact
117
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
contemporary storytellers would have
118
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
wanted to produce
119
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and it is NOT the image most
120
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
modern writers want to attach to their
121
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
skyfather of the gods hero character
122
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
the idea that gods are supposed to be good
123
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
is coparatively new
124
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
For the ancient greeks
125
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
gods were a reflection rather of what was true
126
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
than what was ideal or morally right
127
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ancient greece was terrible to women
128
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
so that was reflectet in the gods
129
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But to us
130
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and our prevasive pop-culture christianity
131
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
deities and divinity adjacent figures
132
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
are more of paragons:
133
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
idealised representaions of goodness and virtue
134
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So, when we try and applie this moralised perspective to the greek gods
135
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
we get some serious cognitive dissonance
136
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
so the adaptations usually end up buffing it out
137
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Sure
138
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
in all but the most squeecky clean versions
139
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Zeus is usually still cheating on hera
140
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
which from our societal perspective
141
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Is typically seen as a much more forgivable crime
142
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Especially if you also rewrite Hera
143
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
to be as deliberately unlikebly as possible
144
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
+ coughing*
145
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The Romans
146
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
but most of Zeus trysts
147
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
get rwritten as affairs of the heart
148
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
because those are almost universally seen as
149
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
significantly less bad
150
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
than the non-consentual altenative
151
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
a distinction thaat did not exist in ancient greece
152
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
among other thing acnient greek art
153
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
used a lot of stock poses to signify major story beats
154
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and there was literally no distinction
155
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
between the stock pose for kidnapping
156
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and for marriage
157
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
same result, same concept
158
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
what registers as an uforgivable crime
159
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
to our eyes
160
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
wasn´t even recognised in the culture it came from
161
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
this specific culture clash is pretty significant
162
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
which is why this is the part that mostly
163
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
gets ignored, sanitized, or otherwise rewritten
164
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
for modern audiences
165
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
i mean unless you´re Hades
166
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
because fuck him, right?
167
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
We already hate that guy on principle!
168
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
There´s no need to clean up
169
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
his image so a modern audience will like him
170
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
In fact, maybe it´s bette if
171
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
we make him deliberately worse !
172
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Just so people know who they should be rooting against !
173
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So, with that lengthy and spicy
174
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
preamble out of the way
175
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Let´s talk about
176
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hades and