[SOUND OF DIAL-UP DATA MODEM]
[THEME MUSIC FROM "FINAL FANTASY" PLAYS]
[JACOLBY SATTERWHITE] When you have cancer, you're supposed to die.
With modern technology, you're basically being resurrected.
When I was a kid, I had cancer.
When I was in the hospital, I played "Final Fantasy".
Those were my escapisms during such a deep period of trauma.
I can see that being my natural lexicon as a creator.
Maybe I've been skeptical of my own mortality my whole life.
I've been making things to make myself
witness these objects and say that I'm still here.
[AUDIO RECORDING OF SATTERWHITE'S MOTHER] --Moments of silence.
So I originally went to Pioneer Works as a technology resident,
to 3D print my mother's drawings of consumer objects.
My mother's practice is like a gesso or a primer.
It's basically the foundation for where I begin all ideas
and how I perceive these ideas in the present.
[AUDIO RECORDING OF SATTERWHITE'S MOTHER] --I apologize.
[SINGING] ♪ I apologize for what I put you through... ♪
[SATTERWHITE] She made 150 a cappellas
that were kind of mimicking the traditional standard for Top 40 hits.
The songwriting was a big component.
It was something she would do in a mental hospital.
It was something she would do at home.
[SINGING CONTINUES] ♪ My life was crazy when I didn't understand... ♪
[SATTERWHITE] Nick Weiss from Teengirl Fantasy,
he and I spent around two years turning these raw a cappellas into an electronic dance record.
Simultaneously, I was also making visuals for it,
because I wanted to make a virtual reality album.
I'm a Millenial with an addiction to Instagram and iPhone.
I lean into it, use it as material,
and try to make it tactile and poignant,
and make it feel like skin.
It's really loose and not premeditated.
In a way, it's like finding really beautiful compositions with data language.
The exhibit at Pioneer Works is embodying my work through different mediums,
including sculpture, video,
performance, and 3D animation.
I was exploring how to make a sculpture world out of digital space.
There are four cabinets that explore different themes
that I have unmasked over the years:
Sports,
American dream paraphernalia,
money,
and pharmaceuticals.
And so basically, it's just an abstract reaction to that culture.
--It makes me feel like a video game character.
--Like you could just play me and I walk around,
--like a third-person Lara Croft shooter or something.
--Oh my god, this is annoying.
If you're doing everything by yourself,
you don't know what it potentially can be.
The potential of big ideas being delegated to a team
that manifests something much greater than the individual hand.
Coming here a lot and talking to the builders,
curating the puzzle pieces that were on the floor,
it's pushed me over the edge sometimes.
It involved a lot of self reflection and self discovery,
and a lot of self discipline.
Working with the people here made me step up my game a little bit more.
I've never been more excited about what new potential forms I can crack through.
[MAN] --You're talking talking about the original renderings, right?
[SATTERWHITE] --Yeah.
--Oh, it is the right color.
In the past ten years of my career,
I've just been making things very open-endedly,
using palettes from everywhere.
I've been drawing the Doubting Thomas composition using myself as all the figures
since I was in high school,
which basically narrates the story of Jesus's resurrection
and skepticism around his mortality.
The ultimate metaphor about the piece is using ritual as a way to ground you.
Like touching something that you're skeptical about
to ground you that it's real.
So making art, for me, is just a way to ground me,
that I'm real.
[RECORDED AUDIO OF SATTERWHITE'S MOTHER] ♪ Tell me how could it be, ♪
♪ I don't know whatever. ♪
♪ How did I get here in this place? ♪
♪ Tell me how could it be, ♪
♪ I don't know whatever. ♪
♪ How did I end up in this way? ♪
[SATTERWHITE] Having a public practice that
circulates in galleries and museums
is vulnerable because you're publicly archiving yourself
in ways that you may not feel are flattering in the future.
It's a masochistic performance gesture, to say the least.
Successfully creating is the art of being willing to embarrass yourself.
I took that to heart.
God, I was just being embarrassing for a decade!
[LAUGHS]
[RECORDED AUDIO OF SATTERWHITE'S MOTHER] ♪
My mother's death three years ago had a huge impact on me.
It really brought in the act of ritual a lot more,
and made me focus on themes of regeneration, healing, and resurrection.
Art became a form of escapism
for me to reroute my personal traumas.
And now I think I'm trying to pursue something more...
...present. More mindful.
Trying to search for where home is for me now.
Trying to get to the core of who I am.
[RECORDED AUDIO OF SATTERWHITE'S MOTHER] ♪ We will go on ♪
♪ to another place in time. ♪